All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S04E24.My.Four.Boys.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- So, you boys are letting me
become the first and only adult

member of your brand-new
explorers club.

- That's right, Dad.

- And to what do I
owe this distinction?

- We need somebody who's really
been around, Mr. Mitchell.

- And besides, Dad's so
big and strong and smart.

- And all the kids like you, Dad.

- And we like your money, too.

- Aha.

- Now you did it, Seymour.

- You and your big mouth.

- And, uh, how much
does it cost to join

this elite little club of yours?

- 7.50.

- $7.50?

Well, what are you
boys gonna explore?

Europe?

Well, you see, Dad, all of
the members except Seymour

here need pith helmets.

- Like this.

It's my pop's.

- They cost 2.50
each, Mr. Mitchell.

- I'm sorry, boys.

- $5?

- $4?

- $2?

- Two bits and four sodas?

- Thank you, fellas, but I
suggest you find somebody

for your explorers club with a
little more adventurous spirit.

- Like who?

- Well, like, uh, like
your mother over there.

- (DISAPPROVING) Henry Mitchell.

- Hello, Ma.

- I can't be bothered now, boys.

I'm very busy.

- Gee, Dennis, where are going
to find a grown-up who likes

adventure and has
7.50 he's not using?

- How about Mr. Wilson?

He never uses any of his money.

- Hey, that's a
swell idea, Tommy.

And Mr. Wilson's
full of adventure.

Why, he just wrote
an article on travel.

- Mr. Wilson is a tightwad.

- Mr. Wilson isn't exactly
a tightwad, Seymour.

He's just awful
fond of his money.

Come on, let's go ask him.

[theme music]

- Oh, I'm glad you've started
collecting stamps again, dear.

Hobbies will do you good.

- Well, I've got them
all grouped according

to countries now, Eloise.

All I have to do is just
mount them in the album--

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hello, dear.

- Dennis, close that window.

- Are you cold, Mr. Wilson?

- No, I am not c-- oh,
never mind, never mind.

Now, what do you children want?

- We're starting a brand-new
explorers club, Mr. Wilson.

And we want you to be our
honorary adult charter member.

- Dennis, I have no desire.

- Because you've
traveled all over.

- And you're big and strong and--

- Flattery will get you nowhere.

- And brave.

- And you're also a famous
writer, Mr. Wilson.

- Who everyone respects
and listens to.

- Oh, uh, oh, so you want me
to be a charter member, eh?

Well, all right.

- Three cheers for
good ol' Mr. Wilson.

Hip, hip--
- (ALL) Hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray!

- Well, thank you,
fellow club members.

- That'll be $7.50
initiation fee, Mr. Wilson.

- Fine.
I'll g-- $7.50!

- Does $2 sound better?

- Dennis, I wouldn't join
your silly explorers club

if you paid me $2.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Just a minute.

- It's for you, dear.

- All right, boys, goodbye.

Go, go, go.

The idea of trying to
get me to shell out $7.

Hello.

Speaking.

Eloise, do we know
a Mr. Griffin?

- I'm calling to inform
you, Mr. Wilson, that you

are one of the lucky winners
in our third annual family soap

contest.

- I am?

Eloise, I won, I won.

- Won what?

- Shh.

Well, of course I'll be at
home at 2 o'clock tomorrow

afternoon.

My son?

Oh, uh, my sons.

- Your sons?

- Eloise, be-- uh.

Well, uh, Mr. Griffin, I'm
afraid the little tykes will

be at school at that time, and--

- All righty then,
Mr. Wilson, I'll

drop by after
school, around 4:30

to meet those fine
youngsters of yours.

Now, now, Mr. Wilson, I
won't take no for an answer.

Goodbye.

- B-- b-- but, Mr. Griffin.

Ah-- he hung up.

- John, John, what
is this all about?

What did you win?

- Well, I entered the soap
contest a few months,

why my family likes family
soap in 25 words or less.

- And I thought you were
writing all that time.

- Well, I won, didn't I?

- Well, that's wonderful, dear,
but, John, what does all this

have to do with our
having children?

- Look, rule number
three, all contestants

of the family soap
contest must be parents.

- How many offspring did
you tell them we had, John?

- Rule number four,
in cases where

any misrepresentation on the
part of the winning contestant

can be proven, said prize
will be declared forfeited.

- How many, dear?

- Four boys.

- Oh, dear.

John, the next time I'm about to
become the mother of four sons,

please give me a
little more notice.

- But, Eloise, thing of
all these valuable prizes.

Look, $3,000 first prize.

Second prize, $2,000.

Third prize, $1,000.

And 300 other valuable prizes.

- Now, now, dear,
ju-- just calm down.

For all you know,
you may have won

one of 300 valuable
Chinese backscratchers.

- Eloise, that man wouldn't
be coming over here in person

tomorrow unless I
was a big winner.

And he'll expect to
meet those four boys.

- Well, don't look at me, dear.

It's your little family.

- Very funny.

Very funny.

There must be
something I can do.

[sawing sound outside]

- Eloise, congratulate me.

I am about to become a father.

[construction sounds]

- Uh, I'm ready for
another board, Dennis.

- Gee, Mr. Wilson, it
sure is swell of you

to let us put up our new
clubhouse in your yard,

and help us build it.

- After all, fellas,
what are friends

for, unless it's to help
their fellow friends?

- I think he flipped his lid.
- Seymour.

- Would you help me hold this
board in place, Mr. Wilson?

Give me the hammer so I can--

- No, I'll-- I'll nail
it up for you, Dennis.

I'll nail it right here.

There we are.

[yells in pain]
Oh!

- I don't get it.

Mr. Wilson not only
insisted the children build

the clubhouse in his yard,
but he's even helping them.

- [chuckles] I tell you, dear.

We may never see the first
seven wonders of the world,

but we've got front row
seats for the eighth.

- I'm awful sorry it
happened, Mr. Wilson.

- So am I. But it--
it's all right now.

- Gee, guys, it's
coming along swell.

- Where's the television antenna?

- Seymour, clubhouses
don't have televisions.

- Yeah, that's kid stuff.

- Say, boys, I have an idea.

Oh.

Why don't I throw a party at
my house tomorrow afternoon.

- A party?

What for?

- Who cares?
- Yeah.

Well, to celebrate
the new clubhouse.

And besides, an
old friend of mine

is coming by tomorrow
afternoon, and I'd

like him to meet you four boys.

- Is this party gonna have
ice cream and everything?

- Ice cream and everything.

- What will it cost us?

- It won't cost you
anything, Seymour.

It's on me.

- Gee, it sounds
swell, Mr. Wilson.

- Yeah, I'll be there.

- Me too.

But, Dennis, what about our
baseball game after school

tomorrow?
With the Green Hornets.

- Well, uh, couldn't
you postpone it?

- Well, gee, I don't
know, Mr. Wilson.

- It's a grudge game.

- Uh, well, there'll be all the
chocolate cake you can eat.

- With marshmallow icing?

- With marshmallow icing.

- Hey, guys, maybe it'll
rain tomorrow afternoon.

- Yeah.

The paper said
something about rain.

- Yeah.

Fellas, I hereby make a
motion that we call the game

on account of rain and go to
Mr. Wilson's party instead.

- I second the motion.

- All in favor, say aye.

- (TOGETHER) Aye.

- No.

- No?

Are you some kind
of a nut, Seymour?

- He has to join our club first.

- Join your club?

- Aw, come on, Seymour.

Mr. Wilson helped
build our clubhouse,

and he's throwing a free party.

- No.

- It's no use, Mr. Wilson.

Our club bylaws say all
votes must be unanimous.

- All right, all right.

I'll join your silly
explorers club, for $2.

Seymour, do you mind?

There you are.

- Gee, thanks, Mr. Wilson.

- Here's a clean pen, Dennis.

- Give me your hand, Mr. Wilson.

- What for?

- Your oath in blood.

- My oath in (yells) blood!

- Yep, he's got some.

- Something tells me
that you are going

to grow up to be a
vampire, Seymour.

- Does that pay as
good as a fireman?

- Oh.

- Now all you gotta do to
be a full-fledged member

is to get initiated.

- Well, that seems like a
reasona-- get initiated?

- Sure.

To-- to show you're
tough enough to be

a member of the explorers club.

- It's fun.

You gotta do things like,
uh, eat raw turtle eggs.

- Or eat a banana while
you're hanging upside down

from a tree with one knee.

- Uh, well, uh,
fellas, I-- I think

I have to go into the
house for a minute.

We'll talk about that
later, all right?

- Sure.

- Oh, and don't forget, I want
to see you at my house tomorrow

right after school
for that party.

- Gee, we wouldn't
forget that, Mr. Wilson.

- And you better make
that two chocolate cakes.

- You know, Dennis, I think we're
going to need some more wood.

- Well, problem is, Tommy,
where are we gonna get it?

- How about that
old house they're

tearing down on Walnut Street?

- Hey, that's a
great idea, Scotty.

They'll probably give
us all the old wood

we need just to get rid of us.

- Sure, Dennis.

They'd never miss it.

- Come on, guys.
Let's go.

- Watch what you're
doing, Seymour.

You dropped a board back there.

[tires popping]
- Uh-oh.

- Hey, you kids.

I'll get you for this.

- He looks mean.

- Come back here.

Do you hear me?

- It was that old board
you dropped, Seymour.

- Three flat tires.

[tire popping]

- I'll get you kids for this
if it's the last thing I do.

- Well, I must say,
Eloise, you're no help.

Here we may win $3,000 and
you're walking out on me.

- I told you before,
John, I thoroughly

disapprove of the way
you intend passing

those poor unsuspecting
children off as your own.

- Poor unsuspecting
children, indeed.

Eloise, I have just spent
over $15 for goodies,

to make their poor unsuspecting
little tummies jump for joy.

- I'm sorry, dear.

I refuse to be a party
to the deception.

- Women.

I'll wager you won't hesitate
to spend your share of the prize

money when I do get it.

- That's right, dear.

If you get it.

Bye.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hello, boys.

- Aren't you staying for our
swell explorers party, Mrs.

Wilson.

- Well, thank you, dear,
but I'm going forth

on an exploring party of my own.

- Hi, Mr Wilson.

- Well, well, right on time.

There it is.
- Wow!

- Look at the cake.

- Look at those gum drops.

- Fill me up.

- Fill yourself up, Seymour.
Go ahead.

Dig in, boys.

- You know something, Mr. Wilson?
- Hmm?

- All those people who keep
saying you're a tightwad,

they don't know the real you.

- Excuse me, ma'am.

- Yes?

- Could you tell me if there
are any small children living

around here?

- Oh my goodness, yes.

All ages, shapes, and sizes.

- Well, these are four boys,
so-- so high to, uh, so high.

- Is one of them a blond?
- Yes.

I think he's the leader.

- Oh.
Look.

You see that shingle house
with the fence around it?

- Mm-hm.
- I think you'll find them there.

- Thank you very much.

- Not at all.

What is it you want with them?

- Well, I, um, I have
a surprise for them.

- Oh.

- Well, everybody happy?
- Yeah.

- Nice, swell party.

- Fine, fine, fine.

Now, um, I-- I have a favor
I'd like to ask of you boys.

- I told you he was
gonna charge us.

- I am not going to
charge you, Seymour.

Now, as I mentioned yesterday,
an old friend of mine

is going to drop
over this afternoon.

And, well, he's
due at any minute.

And, well, I need your help.

- What kind of help, Mr. Wilson?

- Well, I want Mr.
Griffin-- uh, that's

the man who's coming
over-- to think

that I am the father
of you four boys.

As a joke.

- That's a joke?

- Come on, you guys.

After the swell party,
the least we could do

is help Mr. Wilson
play a little joke.

- It's OK with me.

- Me too.

- You're too fat to be my father.

- Quiet, Seymour.
- Yeah.

Shut your big mouth and eat.

- How can I do that?
- Seymour.

Now look, for the sake of
this little subterfuge,

you, Dennis, will be Timmy.

You, Tommy, will be Judd.

You, Scotty, will be Harry.

And, Seymour, you are--

- Sleepy.

- Now, cut it out.

Malcolm.

- I don't wanna be Malcolm.

- Seymour.

- I don't even wanna be Seymour.

- Now, when Mr. Griffin
arrives, let me do the talking.

[door bell]

- There he is now.

Remember now, uh, Timmy.

Judd, Harry--

- Murray.

- Malcolm!

[door bell]

- And they say us kids play
corny jokes on each other.

- Yeah.
How corny can you get?

- Mr. Griffin, come in, come in.

- Griffin?

My name's Burrows.

- Burrows?

Oh, they must have
sent someone else.

I was expecting Mr.
Griffin. [chuckles]

- Are those your kids?

- Yes, they are, Mr. Burrows.

- Jeepers, it's him!

- Oh, fellas, come
on, come on now.

Don't be shy.
- Shy?

We're scared.

- Are these all your kids?

- I'm not.

- [chuckles] Always joking.

Yes, they're all
mine, every blessed

one of the little tykes.

- Mr. Wilson, that man's--

- Please, Timmy.
[chuckles nervously] The-- oh,

that's Timmy.

That's Judd.

- Save the formal
introductions, mister.

Just fork over $26.

- Yes.

Now-- $26?
- Correct.

I have three flat tires, and
one tire completely ruined.

Now, that's what they did
to me, dragging boards

with nails into the street.

- My kids?

- Gee, mister, we
didn't mean to do it.

- Tell that to your
old man, sonny.

- 26 smackers.
- Yeah.

Oh well, now, I--
I have to tell you.

I-- I was only fooling.

I'm not their father.

- That's right, mister.

- You see, you see, even he
knows that I'm not his father.

- Nice try, buster.

Now what's it gonna be,
$26 or a punch in the nose?

- Take the punch in the nose.
- Wait.

Uh, just a minute.

Ca-- ca-- calm down.

I-- I have the $26.

1, 6, 16, uh, 26.

- That's better.

These aren't my kids.

- Do you children realize
you have just cost me $26?

- We're sorry, Mr. Wilson.

- It wasn't our fault.

- Dad.

- Never mind.

Sit down.

Finish your ice cream.

Now, uh, look, children,
the-- the real Mr. Griffin

will be here any second.

So--

- Wait a minute, Mr.
Wilson, didn't you

say Mr. Griffin was a
good friend of yours?

- Uh, ye-- yes, I did, Dennis.

Now, when he arrives--

- Then why didn't you
know what he looked like?

- Uh, well, uh, we are pen pals.

- Something smells fishy to me.

- All right, fellas,
I'll level with you.

I entered a contest,
which I won.

But in order to
collect my prize,

the man who is coming
here this afternoon

must think that
I have four sons.

- I hate to say it,
Mr. Wilson, but I sure

am disappointed in you.

- That's why you helped
us with the clubhouse

and joined our explorers club.

- And bribed us with this party.

- I've been bribed,
I've been bribed.

- Oh now, now, please.

Uh, children, you
don't understand.

- You even took an oath
in blood, Mr. Wilson.

Come on, guys.

Let's go.
- No, no, no.

Children, you-- you
can't leave me now.

I-- I'll even pay you.

- Mr. Wilson, there isn't
enough money to-- pay us?

- Just name your own price.

- $1 million.

- Gee, Dennis, we could use
some money for pith helmets.

- Well, we could at least
talk it over, I suppose.

Come on, fellas.

- Oh, good, good.

Uh, but hurry, hurry.

Huh?

- I'd like his watch.

- OK, Mr. Wilson, we'll be
your sons on one condition,

that you buy each of
us a new pith helmet.

- That'll cost $10.

- It's a deal.

Uh, $10.

[door bell]

- There he is.

Come on, fellas.
Come on.

Uh, line up right here.

Here.

Now remember,
Timmy, Judd, Harry--

- Murray.

- No.
Malcolm.

- Mr. Wilson?

- Mr. Griffin, come in, sir.

Come in.

I, uh-- I want you to
meet my four fine sons.

Timmy, Judd, Harry--
- Mmm--

- And Malcolm.

- Fine-looking lads, indeed.

You certainly are a big chap
for nine years old, Harry.

- Nine years old?

Are you kidding?

- Uh, boys, uh, why don't
you finish your ice cream.

- Uh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Uh, what's your name again, son?

- Timmy Mitchell, sir?
- Mitchell?

- Yeah.
Uh, he's a-- a stepson.

- And you haven't given
him your own name?

- Well, you see--

- My last name is William.

- Uh, uh, he's a stepson
by my, uh, second wife.

- He hates me.

- Seymour, I don't hate you.

- Seymour?

- Oh, well, I changed his
first name to Malcolm

because I don't like Seymour.

- I see.

You changed his first
name but not his last.

Mr. Wilson, what kind
of a stepfather are you?

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson would make
a swell stepfather for any kid.

- Mr. Wilson?

You make your stepsons
call you Mr. Wilson.

- Oh.

Well, I'm a firm believer
in, uh, a strict discipline.

- That's why he beats me.

- The child has a
vivid imagination.

- Yes.

Well, now to get on with the
real purpose of my visit.

- Ah, yes, the contest.

- What size shoes do
you wear, children?

- Size shoes?

- You won the 268th
prize, Mr. Wilson.

A new pair of shoes for
each of your four sons.

- Oh, no.

- Boy, did you hear that, Dennis?

- Could we get hiking
shoes, Mr. Griffin?

- Oh, you certainly
can, young man.

On second thought, you can
fill out your own sizes.

Here's a gift certificate
for you, and one for you--

- Excuse me.
- And one for you.

- I'll-- I'll take those.

- You will not.

- And one for you.

- Oh boy.
Thanks a lot, Mr. Griffin.

- Gee, thanks.

- You're quite welcome, children.

And, Mr. Wilson, may
I suggest that you

try to be a better father
and adopt these boys?

- You'll never adopt me.

- You poor lad.

You, sir, are a terrible man.

Good day.

- $15 for the party, $2
for dues, $26 for tires,

$10 for pith helmets.

That comes to $53.

$53, and for what?

- We got free shoes, Mr. Wilson.

- Yeah.

- Will my mom and
dad be surprised.

- Children, will you
please all go home?

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

And don't feel too bad.

We forgive ya.

- Yeah, especially after we
get our new pith helmets.

- Then take us to the circus.

- Oh.

And my name is still Seymour.

- I wonder what my horoscope
said for me today.

- Mr. Wilson?

Mr. Wilson, believe it or not,
I got some swell news for you.

- I don't believe it,
but what is it, Dennis?

- Since Seymour's getting
a new pith helmet,

he said you can
have his old one.

- Oh, for Pete's sake.

- We'll be by to pick you up
in a half an hour, Mr. Wilson.

- Pick me up?

Whatever for?

- To put you through
your initiation

for the explorers club.

- Dennis, if you think I'm
going through that ridiculous

initiation of yours
after all this,

you are out of your
cotton-picking mind.

- John, dinner's ready.

- He'll be in in a
minute, Mrs. Wilson.

- You hurry, dear.

I don't want things to get cold.

- Just as soon as I
finish this silly banana.

- Come on, Mr. Wilson.

You can do it.

- Yeah, eat the banana!

- You can do it!

- Yeah!

[cheering]

[theme music]