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1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:03,903
[doorbell ringing]
- I got it.
2
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,140
Hi, Miss Cathcart.
3
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:08,941
- Hi, Dennis.
4
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,042
You're just the boy I need.
5
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,510
How would you like a job?
6
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,478
- Sure, Miss Cathcart.
7
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:13,879
What's to it?
8
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,881
- Well, I need somebody to rake
up the leaves once a week,
9
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,817
mow the lawn, take the trash
cans out on pick-up days,
10
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,619
wash a few windows, and
bring in some firewood.
11
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,554
How does $0.50 a week sound?
12
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,856
- Gosh.
13
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,859
It sounds fine up through
setting out the trash cans.
14
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,261
You've got a lot of
windows, Miss Cathcart.
15
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,231
- Oh.
Well, $0.75.
16
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,365
It's a deal.
17
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,768
- We haven't even got
to the firewood yet.
18
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,137
- Oh, gee, Dennis,
what a haggler.
19
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,571
Well, $1 a week.
20
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:43,008
- Miss Cathcart, now it's a deal.
21
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:45,978
- OK.
22
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,446
- Why, hello, Miss Cathcart.
23
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,147
- Oh.
24
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,214
Hello, Mrs. Mitchell.
25
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,649
I was just hiring
Dennis for a few chores,
26
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:51,750
if you've no objection.
27
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,085
- Oh, not at all.
28
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,754
Anything that keeps him in
pocket money I'm all for.
29
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,122
- You don't know
how lucky you are,
30
00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:00,325
having a man around the house,
happily married, looking
31
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:01,593
so young and lovely.
32
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:04,063
- Oh, why, thank
you, Miss Cathcart.
33
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,931
- And all because you've
found your own knight
34
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:07,466
in shining armor.
35
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,867
HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Alice?
36
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,703
Where's that screwdriver
I left on the sink?
37
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:11,870
Oh, hi, Miss Cathcart.
38
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:13,172
- Hello, Mr. Mitchell.
39
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,541
- I'm afraid my knight's a
little tarnished right now.
40
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,976
- I'm cleaning the furnace.
41
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,610
- Well, there's nothing wrong
with a little good clean soot,
42
00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:19,678
Mr. Mitchell.
43
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:20,679
Gee, I wouldn't
care what he looked
44
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,647
like if I had a man
around the house
45
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,115
to keep the home fires burning.
46
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,416
Well, I've got to
be running along.
47
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,085
I'll see you this afternoon
after school, Dennis.
48
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,453
- OK, Miss Cathcart.
49
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,120
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
50
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,290
- Goodbye.
- Gosh.
51
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,792
She shouldn't have much
trouble getting a husband.
52
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,829
She doesn't sound
very hard to please.
53
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,103
[theme music]
54
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,767
- Eloise, good news.
55
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,236
Krinkie wants me to write
the "Jane Butterfield" column
56
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,371
for a few weeks for the paper.
57
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,975
- You mean that advice
to the lovelorn thing?
58
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,442
- Why not?
59
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,678
I'll advise the
lovelorn or anyone
60
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:30,416
who hopes to be
lovelorn for $2,000.
61
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,252
Listen to this, Eloise.
62
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,421
Dear Jane Butterfield.
63
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:39,091
I am in love with a nice man
who passes my house every day,
64
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,760
but I can't get him to
stop and get acquainted.
65
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,862
He seems very shy.
66
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,631
What shall I do?
67
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,667
Signed, Hopeful.
68
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,003
[chuckling]
69
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,239
- Fortunately, I know just
the advice to give her.
70
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,444
Dear Hopeful.
71
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:02,481
Remember, the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach.
72
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,750
Why don't you bake
a nice apple pie
73
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,152
for the object of
your affections?
74
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,188
- When do we get the $2,000?
75
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,256
- As soon as I achieve results.
76
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:15,060
The column has been
allowed to run down.
77
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,097
Do you know what we're
going to do with the money?
78
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:22,835
We are going to take a
vacation trip to Canada.
79
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,836
- Aw.
[knocking]
80
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,238
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
81
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:26,906
- Come in, Dennis.
82
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,745
- Hi, Mr. Wilson.
83
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,480
Mom said you wanted to see me.
84
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,882
- Yes, I-- I have a job for you.
85
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,685
There's, uh, $1 in it
if you're interested.
86
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,120
- Boy, it's raining jobs.
87
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,354
Am I interested.
88
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:43,555
- Good.
89
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,457
I had these handbills
printed this morning,
90
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,526
and I want you to
distribute them for me.
91
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:48,995
Tack them up all over town.
92
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,796
Put them every place.
93
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,564
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Is
romance your problem?
94
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,633
Consult Jane Butterfield.
95
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,935
- "Jane Butterfield"
is a newspaper column,
96
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,672
Dennis, only I'll be writing it.
97
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,041
And giving the advice
to the lovelorn.
98
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,342
- Oh, I get it.
99
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,045
- Before I'm finished, I'll
have every single woman
100
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,680
in this town happily married.
101
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,415
- Hear, hear.
102
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,251
- And I'll be helping by taking
these handbills around, huh?
103
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,753
- You are making a
great contribution.
104
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,089
Uh, but Dennis, I
don't want people
105
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,825
to know that I'm
Jane Butterfield.
106
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:22,728
After all, I'm a
magazine writer.
107
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,830
- OK, Mr. Wilson.
108
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,099
Hey, with all these
weddings coming up,
109
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:32,771
I better go tell our minister to
start getting ready right now.
110
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,709
[chuckling]
111
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:37,676
- Yoo-hoo!
112
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:39,478
Yoo-hoo, Sgt. Mooney.
113
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,947
I never saw you
look more handsome.
114
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,615
- Oh, Miss Cathcart.
115
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,084
- I knew you'd be along this way.
116
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,920
You never walk down my
street, you naughty boy.
117
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,189
- Well, Elm Street is closer
to where I board and room.
118
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,490
- Well, why don't you
walk me home now?
119
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,791
It's just a block over.
120
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,093
I want to show you
some snapshots taken
121
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,527
of me on the beach last summer.
122
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:56,495
- Uh, sorry, Miss Cathcart.
123
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,097
Some other time, maybe.
124
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,098
- When?
125
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,699
- Well, sometime when
I'm not so busy.
126
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,434
I'm in a hurry right now.
127
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,902
- You ought to relax
more, sergeant.
128
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:06,405
All work and no play-- oh.
129
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:07,474
- Uh, goodbye, Miss Cathcart.
130
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,679
- That's a knight who has to have
a chink in his armor someplace.
131
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,885
- Dennis, what are you doing?
132
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,053
- Hi, Miss Tarbell.
133
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,222
I'm putting up handbills
about Jane Butterfield.
134
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:26,492
- Her column was very
interesting this morning.
135
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,395
- You think Jane Butterfield
gives pretty good advice, huh?
136
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,764
- We'll soon see, Dennis.
137
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,365
Hello, Sgt. Mooney.
138
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,299
- Hello, Miss Tarbell.
139
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,434
- Hi, Sgt. Mooney.
140
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,802
- Hey, what are you
putting up there, Dennis?
141
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,571
- Oh, you wouldn't be interested
in that, Sgt. Mooney.
142
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,073
I was hoping you'd come along.
143
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,176
I've just baked a
big, yummy apple pie.
144
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,678
- That's nice.
145
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,080
- Why don't you come over and,
uh, rest your tired little feet
146
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,115
while you sample
a big juicy slice?
147
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,417
- Well, thanks, Miss
Tarbell, but I--
148
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,152
- Oh, come on.
You like apple pie.
149
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,387
And if I do say
so myself, nobody
150
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,322
makes them more mouth-watering.
151
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:58,624
- Well, sorry, Miss
Tarbell, but I--
152
00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,858
- Oh, don't be stuffy.
153
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,461
You're on your way
to lunch, aren't you?
154
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,130
- Well, uh, it is lunch hour.
155
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,366
I guess there's no harm
in eating apple pie as
156
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,034
long as I don't do
it on city time.
157
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,371
- Oh, Sgt. Mooney, you're
so cute and droll.
158
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,041
[laughter]
159
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,409
- Boy, what an operator.
160
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:23,716
Bet she's had advice
from Jane Butterfield.
161
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,185
[doorbell ringing]
162
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,390
- Well, Lucy, how
are things with you?
163
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,825
- Oh, just wonderful, Esther.
164
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,628
I don't know when I've been
so utterly fluttery and happy.
165
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,164
- Oh, the trick mustache show
up again after all these years?
166
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,201
- Oh, I've forgotten Mr.
Penrose ever existed.
167
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:45,972
Anyway, he was never the
gentleman that Sgt. Mooney is.
168
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,674
- Sgt. Mooney?
- Oh, he's such a dreamboat.
169
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,143
And he seems to be so happy
to have discovered me.
170
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:51,978
- Oh, rats.
171
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,278
I saw Sgt. Mooney this morning.
172
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,313
He didn't look so happy.
173
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,581
In fact, he was going
to walk me home,
174
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,383
but he was in a hurry to
get to another appointment.
175
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,351
- He was in a hurry
to get to my house.
176
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,086
We had lunch together.
177
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:01,820
- You're kidding.
178
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,022
How did you corral him?
179
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,557
- Oh, a little birdie
showed me how.
180
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,159
- Well, just because you've
had lunch with a man
181
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,528
doesn't give you a
99-year lease on him.
182
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,363
- I hate to disappoint
you, dear, but he's
183
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,732
coming back this evening.
184
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,368
- Oh, come on, Lucy, your
cooking isn't that good.
185
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,037
I've had it.
186
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,205
- Sgt. Mooney is so protective.
187
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,042
I just mentioned that I
had prowlers at my place--
188
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,076
- Prowlers?
189
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,511
- I've got to run along, dear.
190
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:29,048
I want to pick up some yummy
tidbits at the grocery store.
191
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,717
Sgt. Mooney loves to eat.
192
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,318
It's been nice chatting
with you, dear.
193
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:42,928
- Great.
194
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,096
Hello, police department?
195
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,197
Get me the chief.
196
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,532
[phone buzzing]
197
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,600
- Chief Doyle speaking.
198
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,969
Who?
199
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,403
Oh, Miss Cathcart.
200
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,238
Yeah, what's the trouble, ma'am?
201
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:54,473
- Well, I've been
hearing prowlers
202
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,908
around the house,
chief, and I think
203
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,210
it ought to be investigated.
How about sending Sgt. Mooney?
204
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,079
- Just a minute, ma'am.
205
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,481
Mooney.
206
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,582
- Yeah, chief?
207
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,317
- There's a Miss
Cathcart on the phone.
208
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,152
She's complaining
about hearing prowlers.
209
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,088
- Oh, chief, she doesn't
have any prowlers.
210
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,189
She just wishes she did.
211
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,323
- Get going, Mooney.
212
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,659
That's an order.
213
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:18,764
- Sgt. Mooney, what brings you
to Esther Cathcart's house?
214
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,599
- Well, she's a
taxpayer just like you.
215
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,034
She's entitled to protection.
216
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,235
She complained about prowlers.
217
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,103
- Prowlers?
218
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,638
Why, that's my i--
- Huh?
219
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,841
- I-- I mean, uh, fiddlesticks.
220
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,809
She doesn't have any prowlers.
221
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,077
- That's what I told
the chief, but I
222
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,046
have to make a routine
check, just like with you.
223
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:34,948
Chief's orders.
224
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:35,882
[laughing nervously]
225
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,289
[doorbell ringing]
226
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,360
- Come in, sergeant.
227
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,661
While you sit down
and catch your breath,
228
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:50,863
I'll show you those snapshots.
229
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,097
- Now, Miss Cathcart,
maybe I'd better
230
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,298
check around outside
for the prowler.
231
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,166
- Oh, he's gone now.
232
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,267
Come on and have a cup of tea.
233
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,502
- Well, if he's gone,
I'll be on my way.
234
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,304
- Well, he might come back
if you stay long enough.
235
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,573
Now, then, tea?
Sugar?
236
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,308
- Miss Cathcart,
no prowler's going
237
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,277
to snoop around in
the broad daylight.
238
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,445
- Well, did you
ever stop to think
239
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,880
he might still be in the house?
240
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,015
I tell you, I hear
noises, sergeant.
241
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,450
- What noises?
242
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,351
[thumping]
243
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,252
- What was that?
244
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,219
- You see?
245
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,521
Now we'd better
have a cup of tea
246
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,056
and sit very close together
and steady our nerves.
247
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,426
- Miss Cathcart, I don't
think you have a problem.
248
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,326
- No problem?
249
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,094
Are you kidding?
250
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,395
- I gotta get back to work.
251
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,363
[phone ringing]
252
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,464
- Oh, wait a minute, sergeant.
253
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,665
That may be a
threatening phone call.
254
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,868
- I'll check it out
myself, if you don't mind.
255
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:30,836
Hello?
256
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,872
- Is that you, Sgt. Mooney?
257
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,641
Well, I just heard
that prowler again,
258
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,676
and I'm terribly frightened.
259
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,878
Could you rush right over?
260
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,513
- Oh, Miss Tarbell, again?
261
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,381
- Tarbell?
262
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:42,949
- Take it easy.
263
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,216
I'm on my way.
264
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,152
Goodbye, Miss Cathcart.
265
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,154
- That Tarbell.
266
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,624
Swiped him right out from under
my nose, and by telephone.
267
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,298
[knocking]
268
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,735
- Oh, hello, Dennis.
269
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,636
- I'm here to do those
chores, Miss Cathcart.
270
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,038
- Oh.
271
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,940
Well, you can rake up the leaves
and take out the trash cans
272
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,108
before it gets dark.
273
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,309
- OK.
274
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,243
Hey, Miss Cathcart.
275
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,878
You were telling
my mom how lucky
276
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,513
she is to have a husband, huh?
277
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,281
- I'll say she's lucky.
278
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,484
- Well, did you ever
think about writing
279
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,986
to Jane Butterfield
in the paper?
280
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,422
I mean, maybe she could
help you find one.
281
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:24,623
- Jane Butterfield?
282
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,525
Is that the way your
mother got your father?
283
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,793
- I don't think so.
284
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,162
But you might get
some swell advice.
285
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,463
- Could be.
286
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,899
- Jane Butterfield says
before she's finished,
287
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,302
she'll have every single
woman in town happily married.
288
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,038
- Did Jane Butterfield say that?
289
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,539
- That's what I heard.
290
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,008
Better think it
over, Miss Cathcart.
291
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,710
- Oh, I wouldn't want to
air my personal affairs
292
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,546
in a newspaper, Dennis.
293
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,282
Dear Jane.
294
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,920
- Well, Dennis, thanks to your
help with those handbills,
295
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,422
our mail is picking up.
296
00:10:56,423 --> 00:11:00,059
- I've been telling people about
Jane Butterfield, Mr. Wilson.
297
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,628
- You didn't tell them
that I'm Jane Butterfield?
298
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:03,495
- Oh, no.
299
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,231
Nobody knows you're a woman.
300
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,200
- Uh, thank you.
301
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,969
Well, let's see
who's lovelorn today.
302
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,671
Uh, dear Jane, I am
the aggressive type
303
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,106
and very attractive.
304
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,176
I've tried everything but a
lasso to rope my sugar cookie,
305
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,377
but failed.
306
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,113
He's a policeman and
supposed to be brave,
307
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,449
but around me he's a coward.
308
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,117
Any suggestions?
309
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,319
Signed, Frustrated.
310
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,887
- What's frustrated?
311
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,155
- Oh.
312
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,925
That's when you want
something and can't have it.
313
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,593
- Like when I want a
missile gun and Dad
314
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,929
won't let me have it, huh?
315
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,431
- That's frustrating.
- Frustrated?
316
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,100
Is that the way
that one's signed?
317
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,301
- That's right.
318
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:46,572
- Well, how are you going
to un-frustrate her, Janie?
319
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,606
- Janie?
320
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,675
- Now Eloise, cut that out.
321
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,610
It's another woman with
a desperate problem,
322
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,847
and I happen to know a little
trick that will work for her.
323
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,816
I remember it worked
for you, my dear.
324
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,151
- What trick?
325
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,387
- Oh, pretending to
have a sprained ankle
326
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,889
so that I'd have to
carry you in my arms.
327
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,525
- Now, John Wilson, my ankle
was in a cast for weeks.
328
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,861
- So was my poor back.
329
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:12,164
- I guess you were pretty
frustrated, huh, Mr. Wilson?
330
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,066
- Ha.
- Ahem.
331
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,802
Well, to work.
332
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,771
Dear Frustrated.
333
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,376
- Why, Esther.
334
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,279
Aren't you a little
dressy for gardening?
335
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,814
- You're a little
gussied up yourself.
336
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:29,948
What for?
337
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,583
- I just thought I'd
come over and walk along
338
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,253
with Sgt. Mooney.
339
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,254
- Yeah?
340
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,689
What makes you
think he's coming?
341
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,090
- I called the police station.
342
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,826
They said he'd left for a
routine assignment on Spruce
343
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,327
Street.
344
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,165
I just figured he was about due
to check up on your prowlers.
345
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:48,935
And I was right.
346
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,174
Hello, Sgt. Mooney.
347
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,876
- Why, sergeant, you
look sharp as a tack.
348
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:58,744
- Eek!
Help!
349
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,346
Put it away quick!
Eek!
350
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,814
Esther, what are you doing?
351
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:02,815
Whoa!
352
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,283
I'm all wet.
353
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,685
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
354
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,121
Here, let me dry you off.
- My mink.
355
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,189
Not my mink.
356
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,224
It's ruined.
- Sorry, I lost my head.
357
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,092
I'll get a towel.
358
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,060
- My mink.
359
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,062
[sobbing]
360
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,263
- Help!
Ow!
361
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,966
Ow!
Ow!
362
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,633
- Are you OK, Miss Cathcart?
363
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,868
- Of course I'm not OK.
364
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,703
I sprained my ankle.
365
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,871
- That's too bad.
366
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,773
- Well, are you just
going to let me sit here?
367
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,141
Where's your gallantry?
368
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,309
- Excuse me.
369
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,845
Maybe I can help you
hobble into the house.
370
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,079
- Oh, I've sprained both ankles.
371
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,280
I can't walk.
372
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,082
- Oh, brother, then
I'll have to carry you.
373
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,584
- Yeah.
374
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,154
- Sgt. Mooney, are you going
to let her get away with that?
375
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,423
- Miss Tarbell, a policeman
has to do his duty.
376
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:48,260
She's a taxpayer.
377
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,229
[sobbing]
378
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,300
- So that's who Frustrated is.
379
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:59,406
Boy, Mr. Wilson's advice may
be corny, but it sure works.
380
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,143
- Put me over in
that chair, Harold.
381
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,078
The name is Harold, isn't it?
382
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,380
Oh, I guess you'd better put me
over in that chair over there.
383
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,950
I think Harold is such
a distinguished name.
384
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,685
Or maybe you'd better
put me on the couch.
385
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,286
- Have a heart, Miss Cathcart.
386
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,387
- I have a heart.
387
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,588
And the name is Esther,
388
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,156
- Harold.
389
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:17,856
- I know, I know.
390
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,658
- Oh, hold it.
391
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,459
- Make up your mind.
392
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,061
This ain't no child's play.
393
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,062
- I know.
394
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,129
Can you carry me
out to the kitchen?
395
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,264
- The kitchen?
396
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,465
- I've got some fried
chicken in the oven.
397
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,367
We could have a nice,
cozy dinner for two.
398
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,836
- Oh no, we can't.
399
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,073
- Harold Mooney.
400
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,942
- Mr. Wilson!
401
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,377
Mr. Wilson!
402
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,812
- Yes, Dennis.
403
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,514
Coming, coming.
404
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,316
What is it, Dennis?
- Mr. Wilson?
405
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,684
Did you know when
you wrote that stuff
406
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,586
about apple pies
and sprained ankles,
407
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,656
you were helping Miss Tarbell
and Miss Cathcart trap Sgt.
408
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,590
Mooney?
409
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,092
- Oh, no.
410
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,159
- Are you sure?
411
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,661
- Sure, I'm sure.
412
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:59,331
I just saw Sgt. Mooney carrying
Miss Cathcart into her house.
413
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,599
- Good heaven.
414
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,468
I wonder if he'll ever get out.
415
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:06,338
- Well, after that sprained
ankle trick, you didn't.
416
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,375
- Looks like Sgt. Mooney
is the one who needs help.
417
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,110
Boy, is he in the middle.
418
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,811
Two women.
419
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,381
- Dennis, there's
no doubt about it.
420
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,549
- Maybe he never even
thought about writing
421
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,184
to Jane Butterfield.
422
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,886
Maybe I ought to
see that he gets
423
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,155
a handbill, huh, Mr. Wilson?
424
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,959
- My boy, you are
thinking like a genius.
425
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,494
The more letters I get, the
better Krinkie will like it,
426
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:32,097
and the sooner we can get
off on our Canadian vacation.
427
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,067
- Is it worth another
dollar if I can swing it?
428
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,469
- You are not only
thinking like a genius,
429
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,406
you are a shrewd businessman.
430
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,774
- See you later.
431
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:45,544
- Bye.
432
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,480
- I was wondering if I could
leave these handbills here.
433
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,082
Maybe you could give
them to the guys in jail
434
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,184
if they happen to have
a romantic problem.
435
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,753
- Do you want to know something?
436
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,689
Jail isn't a bad place
for a guy to hole up
437
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,825
if he's got a romantic problem.
438
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,760
Is romance your problem?
439
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:05,831
Consult Jane Butterfield
daily in the "Chronicle."
440
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,067
Nah, that stuff's bunk.
441
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,635
- Gosh, Sgt. Mooney.
442
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,539
You'd be surprised if you knew
how well her advice works.
443
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,174
- How do you know
so much, Dennis?
444
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:19,144
- Well, I know someone who knows
Jane Butterfield real well.
445
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:23,048
And he says-- I mean, she
says when she's through,
446
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:27,419
every single woman in town
will be happily married.
447
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,487
- No kidding?
448
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,723
- So if Jane Butterfield
can do that,
449
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:33,293
why can't she tell a man
how not to get trapped?
450
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,297
- Yeah.
451
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,832
- So would you give
these to anybody
452
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,267
in jail with a romantic
problem, Sgt. Mooney?
453
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,904
I'll see you around.
454
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,407
- It's a cinch.
I've got to try something.
455
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,412
Dear Jane.
456
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,651
- Dear Jane, I am a desk officer,
but the chief assigned me
457
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,522
to two dames' houses regularly
to check for prowlers.
458
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,424
They both just
want to get married
459
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,226
and are driving me crazy.
460
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,561
How can I get rid of them
without insulting them
461
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,097
or losing my job and pension?
462
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,600
P.S., don't put
this in the paper.
463
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:19,338
Just send advice in a hurry
to Sgt. Harold Mooney.
464
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,839
- Oh!
465
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,542
- You see, John happens to know
that the two ladies in question
466
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,744
are Miss Tarbell
and Miss Cathcart.
467
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,212
[gasp]
- Oh, dear.
468
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,783
- And he's already given them
advice on how to get their man.
469
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,284
- Oh!
470
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:36,121
Mr. Wilson, how can you be fair
to both women and Sgt. Mooney?
471
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,757
- It's simply a matter
of professional ethics.
472
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:43,128
I advise each one impartially
according to his or her needs.
473
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,863
- King Solomon.
474
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,266
- Now, in Sgt.
Mooney's case, I would
475
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,135
advise him to say that
he is sending alimony
476
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:53,639
to four ex-wives, that
he would like a fifth
477
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,642
to be a mother to
his six children.
478
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,443
- Oh.
479
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,111
- That should frighten them.
480
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,046
- That should frighten anybody.
481
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,016
[laughter]
482
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:10,356
- I have four ex-wives,
but I would like a fifth
483
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:16,095
to help me pay alimony and
support my six children.
484
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:19,031
Jane Butterfield.
485
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,867
Man oh man, that ought to do it.
486
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,302
[chuckling]
487
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:29,274
- I was beginning
488
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,143
trying to avoid me, sergeant.
489
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,711
- Well, Miss Cathcart,
I didn't want
490
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,912
to get you mixed up in my life.
491
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,048
- Oh, I'd love to get mixed up.
492
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:38,952
Sorry, I forgot.
493
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,053
Sit over here.
494
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,124
- Now, Miss Cathcart,
I-- I thought it over.
495
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,358
- So have I.
496
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,060
- And I'm thinking I ought
to settle down and find
497
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,661
a mother for my six children.
498
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,063
- Six children?
499
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,831
I didn't even know
you'd been married.
500
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,266
- Four times.
501
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,801
- Kind of shakes
you up, doesn't it?
502
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,869
- Four times?
503
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,737
I didn't know you
were such a Lochinvar.
504
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,540
Why, I'd be number five.
505
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,741
- Of course, there's
the small matter
506
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,144
of paying alimony
to four ex-wives.
507
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,845
- Alimony to four women.
508
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,014
- And I expect number five
to help take care of them.
509
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,249
- Well, I'm a good kid.
510
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,016
We'll manage.
511
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,451
Yippee, we're engaged.
512
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,585
- You don't know
what you're doing.
513
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,887
- That's what you think.
514
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:15,922
[phone ringing]
515
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,490
- Heck of a time
to be interrupted.
516
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,693
Hello?
517
00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,929
- Esther, this is Lucy Tarbell.
518
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,597
Let me speak to Sgt. Mooney.
519
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,533
- It won't do you
any good, honey.
520
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,502
Sgt. Mooney and I
just got engaged.
521
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,739
And if that doesn't throw you
for a loop, brace yourself.
522
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,175
I'm going to be a mother.
523
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,480
Lucy?
524
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,048
Must have fainted.
525
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,419
Harold?
Harold?
526
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,595
Harold.
527
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,365
So Sgt. Mooney and I
got engaged, chief,
528
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,266
but he got away
before I found out
529
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,836
where I could see
our six children.
530
00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:08,440
- Mooney says he has four
ex-wives and six kids?
531
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:09,475
Mooney!
532
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,076
Come in here.
533
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,214
- Hello, honey bun.
534
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,448
- You want me, chief?
535
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,617
- I don't know if I want
you any longer or not.
536
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,619
What's this you've been
hiding from the force?
537
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,288
How come we don't know about all
those wives you're supporting?
538
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,591
{\an8}- It's OK, chief,
I'm willing to help.
539
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,726
{\an8}- Chief, there isn't a
word of truth in it.
540
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,561
The whole idea was hatched
by this Jane Butterfield
541
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,996
at the "Chronicle."
542
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,666
- You've been getting advice
from Jane Butterfield too?
543
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,801
- Well, it looks to me
like this Jane Butterfield
544
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,436
is stirring up too much trouble.
545
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:41,373
And nobody's going to make a
monkey out of this department.
546
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,043
Get me Krinkie at
the "Chronicle."
547
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:46,145
- Wow!
548
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,546
- Ah.
549
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:50,783
Dennis, I can hardly wait to get
up to the Canadian north woods.
550
00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:54,420
I am going to catch
myself a whopper.
551
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,089
- Sure got the equipment
for it, Mr. Wilson.
552
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,158
- Including that
aluminum boat out in
553
00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:02,928
my garage, $300
worth of equipment.
554
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:07,132
And all paid for by my
Jane Butterfield column.
555
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:10,302
- Has Mr. Krinkie paid
you the $2,000 already?
556
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,570
- No, no.
557
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,506
But with the letters pouring
in, thanks to your help,
558
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,908
it won't be long.
559
00:21:15,909 --> 00:21:19,078
- Gee, I just can't believe it.
560
00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:20,145
- Believe what?
561
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,214
- I just saw Miss
Cathcart on my way over
562
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,450
here a little while
ago, and she said she
563
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,952
and Sgt. Mooney are
getting married.
564
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,654
- Really?
565
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,390
Well, I guess Mooney
finally surrendered
566
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,092
to her fatal charms.
567
00:21:33,093 --> 00:21:35,094
- He told me he'd
stay in jail first.
568
00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:38,897
- Oh, this will really cinch
the success of the column.
569
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,733
I'll have Krinkie put
a picture of Mooney
570
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,102
and his bride in the
paper with the caption,
571
00:21:43,103 --> 00:21:47,873
Jane Butterfield makes
two hearts beat as one.
572
00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:49,141
[doorbell ringing]
573
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,110
- Now, excuse me.
574
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,748
Oh, Krinkie, we
were just talking--
575
00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,117
- What are you trying to do,
Wilson, ruin my newspaper?
576
00:21:58,118 --> 00:22:00,285
- Well, I'm doing a good
job for you, aren't I?
577
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:01,553
- Too good, I'm afraid.
578
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,389
You've got the police
chief on my neck.
579
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,225
Says one of his men is in a
mess acting on your advice.
580
00:22:06,226 --> 00:22:07,593
Defamation of character.
581
00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,660
He may sue.
582
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,294
- Sue?
583
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:10,662
- He's pretty sore.
584
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,098
- So I'm going to drop the
column 'til things simmer down.
585
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:13,832
- Drop it?
586
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,601
What about my $2,000?
587
00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:16,902
- I'm sorry, Wilson.
588
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,338
I'll give you $50 to cover
out-of-pocket expenses.
589
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:20,172
- $50?
590
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:21,607
What about my Canadian vacation?
591
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:23,909
I've already spent
$300 on equipment.
592
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,144
- I'm sorry.
593
00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:27,146
I'll advertise it for you
in my secondhand column.
594
00:22:27,147 --> 00:22:28,147
- Secondhand?
595
00:22:28,148 --> 00:22:29,782
- Here's your $50, Wilson.
596
00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:31,183
And our deal is off.
597
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,851
- Krinkie, I am not
going to take it.
598
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,153
- Well, I am. $50?
599
00:22:34,154 --> 00:22:35,621
That'll just pay
the down payment
600
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:36,755
on fixing my busted sofa.
601
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,792
They'll send you a
bill for the rest.
602
00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:42,327
And let me tell you
something, Janie Butterdrops.
603
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,329
Your advice is for the birds.
604
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,831
Sprained ankle indeed.
605
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:46,799
Ha!
606
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,135
- Now just a-- oh,
would you-- hey!
607
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,170
Hey!
608
00:22:51,171 --> 00:22:54,406
Miss Cathcart,
that's my-- I-- ugh.
609
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,208
- Wilson, I'm surprised
at you, hiding
610
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:57,743
behind Jane
Butterfield's skirts.
611
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:00,412
- I was trying to
help you out, Mooney.
612
00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:01,513
- Yeah, Sgt. Mooney.
613
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,482
Mr. Wilson was
trying to help you.
614
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,417
- Well, it just so
happens you did,
615
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,587
with the $50 I was going to
have to cough up if you hadn't.
616
00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:09,888
- It just shows you, Mooney.
617
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,391
Nobody appreciates what
you trying to do for them.
618
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,425
I work hard.
619
00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,227
I build up the
column for Krinkie.
620
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,830
Then, when I want to take
a little Canadian vacation,
621
00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,466
he-- uh-oh.
622
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:23,936
- Oh, boy.
623
00:23:23,937 --> 00:23:25,804
Looks like you've got
another dissatisfied
624
00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:27,206
customer, Mr. Wilson.
625
00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:28,507
- Close the door, Dennis.
626
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:31,443
I don't want her to
get in the house.
627
00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:35,647
- Apple pie is what you told
me to serve, Jane Butterfield.
628
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:38,117
Well, I won't bother to
make an apple pie for you.
629
00:23:38,118 --> 00:23:41,653
I'll just serve them up as is.
630
00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:42,888
- It's a war!
631
00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:44,590
You'd better get behind
something, Mr. Wilson.
632
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:45,557
- Going inside.
633
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:49,495
I-- it's locked!
634
00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:51,430
- Sorry, Mr. Wilson, you
told me to close it.
635
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,865
- Never mind that now.
636
00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:54,900
Go on around back from the patio
and open it from the inside,
637
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:59,138
quick.
638
00:23:59,139 --> 00:24:00,639
- Now, cut that
out, Miss Tarbell,
639
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,141
or I'll call the riot squad.
640
00:24:02,142 --> 00:24:04,610
- You keep out of this, you
two-timing double-crosser.
641
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:16,655
- Don't close the door.
642
00:24:16,656 --> 00:24:17,490
Wait for me.
643
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:22,094
- Whew.
644
00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,063
- Boy, you'd better leave for
Canada no matter what it costs.
645
00:24:24,064 --> 00:24:25,064
- Advice to the lovelorn?
646
00:24:25,065 --> 00:24:27,700
I-- I wish I'd never
seen that column.
647
00:24:27,701 --> 00:24:28,734
[thumping outside]
648
00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:31,103
- Well, Mr. Wilson,
if she keeps it up,
649
00:24:31,104 --> 00:24:32,771
at least you'll
have lots of apples.
650
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:38,077
And I'll come over and help
you eat apple pie every day.
651
00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:41,847
[laughing]
652
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,216
- Oh, good grief.
653
00:24:52,859 --> 00:24:54,627
[theme music]
654
00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:33,599
ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): This
has been a Screen Gems film
655
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:33,733
production.
46584
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