Original subtitles

[music playing]

- Dad, it sure would be terrible if there were orphans

in the world, and nobody helped them, wouldn't it?

- Oh, I think everyone tries to help orphans when they need it.

- Even when it takes a little trouble?

- Well, helping people usually does take a little trouble.

- This will take very little trouble, Dad.

All we have to do is watch where we sit when we take a bath?

- What?

- Well, people down the block left a dozen orphan goldfish

when they moved away yesterday.

- Goldfish?

- I put them in our bathtub.

Helping's fun, isn't it, dad?

- Dennis!

[theme music]

- (SINGING) Come, sweetheart, tell me.

Now is the time.

You tell me your dream.

And I'll tell you mine.

[howling]

- All right, Fremont. Quiet.

- Don't blame the pooch, John.

The way you mangled that last note, any dog would howl.

- And you do it every time.

Are you with us, or against us?

- I like the way you sing, Mr. Wilson.

It's real different.

- Well, we still have another day before the charity picnic.

You'll be perfect by then, John.

- You bet I well.

Well, let's have our last practice here tomorrow night,

right? - All right.

- You sure we ought to go through with this?

We didn't even sound good to me.

- Yeah, how did you let us get hooked into this entertaining,

anyway.

- Oh, our quartet will be the hit of the occasion.

- Well, I hope so. - Good night, John.

- Good night. - See you tomorrow night.

- Won't you stay for more coffee?

- No thanks.

No more tonight.

- No thank you.

- You sounded wonderful.

- Thank you.

- You know, I can't understand Finch and Quigley not having

confidence in our quartet.

Why, when we sing out there at that picnic,

everybody is going to be amazed.

- Oh, I'm sure they will, John.

- Are you going to be in the three-legged races and stuff

again this year, dad?

- No.

When the athletic events come up this year,

I'm just going to watch.

Uh, your brother and I teamed up last year.

- They sure did.

And they were the favorite team, weren't they mom?

- Well, they were our favorites, anyway, dear.

- Remember how everybody was laughing and hollering

in that race where dad had to crawl

through all those barrels?

- Well, you make it sound very exciting, Dennis.

- Sure was.

And they said dad did something that

had never been done before.

- Really, Henry?

What was that?

Did you set some new kind of a record, or something?

- Well not exactly, John.

I-- - Heck no.

He was crawling through the last barrel,

and he got his pants caught on a nail.

And he had to wear the barrel home.

Oh, you should have seen his picture in the paper.

- [chuckling] They got my bad side, John.

So this year I'm just going to be a spectator.

- I don't blame you, Henry.

I'll sit with you, and help you spectate.

- That'll be $1.10 for this shaving lotion.

Need any razor blades?

- No, not today, thanks.

- Can I sell you anything, John?

- No, thank you.

I just came down for the walk.

- You'll have to walk back.

Need any vitamin pills? - I believe not.

- Well, good morning, Mitchell.

- Hello, Brady.

- Say, I'm glad I ran into you.

I understand you're in line for congratulations.

- For what?

- For staying out of the sports events tomorrow.

You won't have to take your annual beating from me.

- Yes, I'm sitting this one out.

- Say, uh, you're George Wilson's brother, aren't you?

- I am.

- Sorry, John, I should have introduced you.

This is Jack Brady, one of our more confident citizens.

- Yeah, your brother was Mitchell's partner

at last year's picnic.

Boy, I rarely murdered them.

- Indeed?

- Yeah, it was pitiful.

Say, I don't suppose you'd care to team up with Mitchell here,

and give me a crack at you, would you?

- No, I, I don't plan to enter.

- Too bad.

I'd like to add another Wilson scalp to my belt.

- Oh, apparently you feel that any contest between us

would have only one result?

- I'm positive.

- You certainly are.

Henry, would you accept me as a partner?

- Why yes, John.

- Splendid.

I'd like to prove to this gentleman

that deeds speak louder than words.

- Ho!

This is great!

I open the door, and in flies a pair of pigeons.

- Well, I think that Henry and I can

give a good account of ourselves.

- Oh, yeah?

Well wait until you meet my partner.

Hey Tiny, come on in here.

This is Tiny Hawkins, new assistant foreman

down at our place.

This is Henry Mitchell.

- Pleased to meet you.

- That's quite a grip you've got.

- Oh, I'm sorry if I hurt you, honest.

I wasn't showing off or nothing.

- And this is John Wilson.

- If you don't mind, I'll just nod.

- [chuckling] He's just a big, overgrown kid, Wilson.

And speaking of kids, Mitchell, you can tell that boy of yours

that my Johnny will win the sports events tomorrow, too.

[chuckling] Let's go, Tiny.

- We'd better hurry home, Henry, and get

in some good practice for our athletic contests.

- It would be a waste of time.

He's so big.

- What if he is?

David defeated Goliath.

- I'd hate to throw rocks at him.

- A little tug of war should tone up our muscles, Henry.

We can't let Brady and his trained gorilla

beat us without a struggle.

- I'm not going to let Johnny Grady beat me either.

I'm going to run faster, blow up balloons

faster, and do everything faster.

- Well, that's fine, son.

- I'm going to practice the sack race first.

Could you help me into it?

- Oh, sure.

Here.

Remember your balance.

- OK, dad.

- Very important.

I bet this is how a baby kangaroo feels, huh Mr. Wilson?

- Well, I don't know.

I have never been a kangaroo, baby or otherwise, Dennis.

- Well, here I go.

Jeepers, this is easy.

- Uh, Henry, we'll use this pillow as a center line.

Now you take the end of the rope.

We'll try to pull each other across it.

- Yeah.

- Get a good grip.

Now when I say pull, you pull.

All right.

Pull.

There we go.

Oh!

- Whoa!

Did I get in your way, Mr. Wilson, or did you get in mine?

- Dennis, you'd better run along.

Mr. Wilson and I have to practice.

- Jeepers, dad.

I've got to practice, too.

We all want to win tomorrow, don't we?

- Dennis, my boy, how would you like

to do something important to help your father and me win?

- Sure, Mr. Wilson.

What is it?

- Well, we want to practice the potato and spoon race.

- Oh, you mean the one where you run back and forth

with a potato and a spoon?

- That's right.

Now there isn't a single potato in the house.

- Oh, you want me to go to the market, huh?

- Good, my boy, good.

A-a-and charge it to me.

- OK.

- Uh, Dennis, out of the sack.

- OK, dad.

- Good thinking, John.

I

- Not only have it here, but here.

- There you are.

Thank you, and, uh, call again.

- Hi, Mr. Quigley.

- Well, hello, Dennis.

What can I do for you today?

- I'm here to look at your potatoes.

- Oh, just a minute son.

I'll wait on you.

- You don't have to, Mr. Quigly.

All I want is--

- No, I don't want you rooting around

over here all by yourself.

- Mr. Quigley, all I want is--

- You don't have to tell me.

Your mother always gets five pounds of potatoes.

There you are. - But I don't want five pounds.

I just want one.

- Are you sure?

- Sure I'm sure.

- Well, very well.

One pound it is.

- Not one pound, Mr. Quigley.

Just one potato.

- One potato?

Is your mother flip?

- It's not for mom.

It's for Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, Wilson, huh?

He must be on a crash diet.

All right.

There you are, with my compliments.

- Jeepers, I can't use this one, Mr. Quigley.

It's too big.

- Too big for what?

- For the spoon and potato race tomorrow.

I've got to have a little one that won't fall out.

- Dennis, as much as the sale of one potato means to me,

I do have a customer waiting over there.

- Oh, you wait on her.

I can find the right size.

Do you keep the little potatoes on the bottom,

like you do the little strawberries?

- Shh!

[music playing]

- Hey, there's a little one.

- Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left you alone.

- That old bin's pretty weak, Mr. Quigley.

- A guy owns a grocery store, along comes a little kid,

makes a bowling alley out of it.

- Wait, Mr. Quigley.

That's it.

That's the one I want.

Boy, you sure know how to pick out potatoes, Mr. Quigley.

It fits perfectly.

- Well, then take it and go far, far away.

- OK.

Hey, mom, what's in the bowl?

- Same thing that was in it when you asked me a minute ago.

- Macaroni salad?

- That's right.

It hasn't changed.

- Can I taste one, just one little old macaroni?

- That answer hasn't changed either.

- Jeepers, mom.

I'm awful hungry.

You wouldn't want me to starve in my own house, would you?

- Oh, don't be so pitiful.

We'll be at the picnic grounds in less than an hour.

- OK, mom.

Boy, those eggs sure look good, Mrs. Wilson.

- They're just ordinary hard boiled eggs, dear.

- I bet they're not ordinary the way you boil them.

I bet they're real special.

- Oh, I hardly think that.

Just let me taste one, huh?

Then I can tell you how special they are.

- Dennis.

- OK, mom.

- Hands off, young man.

- Jeepers, mom.

I was going to take a gizzard.

Gizzards are hard and tough.

Nobody would eat them, except a poor little starving

boy who is weak and hungry like I am.

- Please, you're making me cry.

- Well, how do you like the quartet outfits?

- Oh, that's very attractive.

- Henry, you look just the way you did in college, when

you serenaded me under my dormitory window.

- This time I hope n one throws water on me.

- Is there anything we can do to help?

- No, everything is under control, oh, except Dennis.

- What's with you, son? - Jeepers.

I'm awful hungry.

Mom says I have to wait until we get to the picnic.

- Well, your mother's absolutely right, Dennis.

If you ate now, you would spoil your appetite.

- You must learn to control yourself, Dennis,

and not give in to your cravings.

- Mom, I hate to be a tattletale.

But dad and Mr. Wilson are--

- Help yourself.

I thought you wanted the gizzard.

- Heck, who wants a tough old piece like that?

[music playing]

[finding their pitch]

- One, a-two.

- (SINGING) I had a dream, dear.

You had one, too.

Mine was the best dream, because it was of you.

Come, sweetheart, tell me.

Now is the time.

You tell me--

- Boy, they sure sing swell, don't they mom?

- Yes, dear. Sh.

- (SINGING) And I'll tell you mine.

[howling]

[applause]

[howling]

- Hey, you guys.

You lost your top tenor.

Best voice in the group.

[laughing sarcastically]

- You were wonderful. - Thank you.

- Boy, you sure sung swell, dad.

I don't care what Mr. Brady says.

Fremont can't sing as good as you and Mr. Wilson.

Can he, Tommy?

- Heck, no.

He don't even know the words.

- All right, everybody.

Everybody, attention.

We're going to start the contest for the kids.

The first event is the balloon blowing contest.

Come on, boys. [cheering]

- Come on, fellas.

Let's go.

- Come on.

- Here you are. Here you are.

Take your balloons.

- You might as well give up, Dennis.

You haven't got enough wind to blow up a paper bag.

- Jeepers, nobody's as windy as you are, Johnny Brady.

- Oh, is that so?

- Yeah, that's so. - All right.

Knock it off now. Come on.

Line up over here.

Now you understand the rules.

When I tell you to go, you start to blow.

You blow as hard as you can, until I tell you to stop.

And the biggest balloon wins.

If a balloon breaks, you're out.

All ready, set, go. - Come on.

Come on. Blow, boy, blow.

[cheering]

- Come on, blow Johnny. Come on.

Big breaths, boy, big, big.

- Blow, blow, son.

Blow. - Give it a little more.

Give it a little more, Johnny. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

- Aw, for Pete's sake, dad.

Whose side are you on, anyhow?

- Blow, boys, blow.

- Now remember what I told you.

Long jumps.

We gotta win this one, boy.

- OK, I'll win it.

- Don't forget what I told you about your balance.

- OK, dad.

- All ready, set, go.

[cheering]

- Go, son, go. - Come on.

What are you waiting for. Jump!

- I can't.

You're standing on my sack.

- Why don't you stop helping the boy, Brady,

and give him a chance to win one?

Go, Dennis, go!

- You better get with it, John.

- Say, that's right, Henry.

It's almost time for our events.

We better loosen up our muscles.

- I'm with you, John.

- Honey, why don't you skip the tug of war?

- Honey, we can skip any of the events.

Every single point counts.

Even if we only come in second or third in the tug of war,

why, it all adds up to our final score.

- Well, do your best, then.

- OK.

- Heck, you don't have to worry about dad, mom.

Him and Mr. Wilson can beat anybody, huh, dad?

- We're going to try, son.

- Hey, Mitchell.

They're going to start the tug of war.

Are you coming?

Or are you and your friend going to be wall flowers?

- We'll be there, Brady.

- You know, I'll be surprised if you guys can lift the rope.

Come on, Tiny.

- Wow, look at all those muscles. - Yeah.

He looks like Tarzan.

- [clearing throat] Come on, Henry.

- And the winners, [inaudible].

All right, next contestants.

- Oh!

- Come on, dad.

Come on, Mr. Wilson.

- Come on, Mr. Mitchell.

- Give it to them, Tiny.

- Dig your heels in good, Henry.

We'll give them all we've got.

- We'll at least give them a fight, John.

- Ready, set, go.

[cheering]

- Wow, look at your dad run.

- If that had been the 50 yard dash, dad and Mr. Wilson

would have won by a mile.

[cheering]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): All right.

Go!

[cheering]

- Boy, they sure are swell athletes, aren't they mom?

- The best.

- You have lots of points, haven't you?

- Yes.

Right now it's a tie between the Mitchell Wilson

team and the Brady Hawkins team.

- The only thing left is the egg tossing contest.

That ought to be right up our alley.

- Dad, would you get this pickle out for me?

- OK.

Stuck.

- Maybe I can reach my hand in there.

- No, no, no.

I'll get it.

- Dennis, you'll make yourself sick.

You've already had enough pickles

to-- what's the matter, dear? - Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I--

- He can't get his hand out.

- Oh, here.

Let me.

- I feel so silly, John

- Sure is stuck.

Here, I know what to do.

- No!

- No, Tommy, don't.

You'll cut his hand.

- Wilson, Mitchell, we're ready for the egg throwing contest.

Come on.

Let's go.

- We'll be with you in a minute, Mitch.

Just give us a minute.

- Pull harder.

- Hey, what's holding you guys up?

- Just a minute, [inaudible].

- As soon as dad gets his hand unstuck from the pickle jar.

Show him, dad.

- Hey, how in the heck?

Hey, Tiny, come here.

Get a look at this.

- How are you going to catch an egg

with your hand in a pickle jar.

- I haven't quite figured that out yet, Finch.

- We can't wait all day, Mitchell.

Come on. Let's get started.

- This event's going to declare the winner.

What are you going to do about it, Henry?

- Give us time.

Give us time.

- You guys better default.

- Default?

I can still play.

I, I'll get another partner.

- Oh, no you don't.

No, sir.

Your team is Wilson and Mitchell.

That's the way it's listed, right Finch?

- Well, it started that way.

- Yeah, and that's the way it's got to stay.

If Wilson and Mitchell drop out, then me and Tiny win.

We're way ahead of everybody else.

- I feel like such a dunce, John.

- Hey, I know.

I'll be your partner, Mr. Wilson.

I'm Mitchell, just like dad.

We can be Wilson and Mitchell.

Can't we, Mr. Finch? - Yeah.

That's the same name, Dennis.

Any objection to that, Brady.

- No.

No, that's OK.

We'll settle for the little fella.

- All right, Dennis.

I don't know what else I can do.

- Oh boy!

- Oh, no.

Dennis, you stand right there.

- Don't you worry, Mr. Wilson.

I'm a dandy pitcher.

You just stand back.

And I'll peg this whole thing in--

- No, Dennis.

No, good heavens.

I, I don't want you to peg it in there.

Give me that. I'll show you.

Like that.

- You mean you throw it like a girl?

- Yes.

- All right, boys.

Get ready.

Now you understand how to do this.

You toss an egg, and step back.

And you toss it again, and step back.

The team left with the unbroken egg wins.

All ready, set, go.

[music playing]

- Attaboy, Dennis.

- Good, John.

- You're all thumbs, Wilson.

Look out for this next one, Wilson.

What's the matter with you, clumsy?

- Well, did you break something, Brady?

[laughing]

- That's it, folks.

The winners-- Wilson and Mitchell.

[cheering]

- That concludes the spots, folks.

And the winning team for the day is Wilson and Mitchell.

Let's all of us give them a big hand.

[cheering]

- You sure are a good egg catcher, Mr. Wilson.

- You're the one who did it, partner.

- Were you a team, Dennis.

[chattering]

- Oh, Dennis, I'm proud of you catching the egg that way.

- Oh, mom, it was nothing.

But it sure is a good thing we used a hard boiled egg, though.

Or I bet our would have broken, too.

- Oh no.

Dennis, is that the egg we won with?

- Sure, Mr. Wilson.

I got it out of our egg bowl.

- Oh, this is terrible.

- After the razzing we gave Brady, oh boy.

- Is something the matter?

- Well, yes, son.

You're not supposed to use a hard boiled egg.

- Jeepers, dad.

They're the best kind.

They don't break.

- He didn't know the rules, dear.

Nobody told him.

- What are you going to do, John.

There's only one thing to do.

We didn't win the contest fairly.

So we'll have to tell Brady.

- You're right, John.

- Do you mean we lost?

- Yes, Dennis.

We lost.

You're not supposed to use a hard boiled egg.

We brought eggs for the contest, fresh ones.

Come on, Dennis.

Uh, uh, Brady?

- Yeah?

- I, well, I want everyone to hear this.

It's about the egg throwing contest.

- What about it? You won.

What do you want? A medal?

- No. No.

As a matter of fact, Dennis and I didn't win.

You see, Dennis didn't know the rules.

So he brought along a hard boiled egg for us to throw.

- A hard boiled egg?

Well, no wonder it didn't break.

- So you and your partner are the winners, Brady.

And I apologize.

- Yeah, but we busted our egg.

- We used the wrong kind.

Well, I guess we sot of tied for first place.

- Well, I'll be darned.

Wilson, you're not such a bad guy at that.

A real honest man.

Put her there.

- Oh, great Cesar.

- See, Mr. Wilson.

I told you a hard boiled egg was better.

[theme music]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This has been a Screen Gems film

production from the Hollywood studios of Columbia Pictures.