Original subtitles

- Hey Mom, Dad, guess what I found.

- We give up.

What?

- My toy bugle that I thought I lost.

[playing bugle] I wonder how it ever got

lost way up on the top shelf of the linen closet.

[playing bugle]

- I wonder.

- Well, if you're so smart why don't you hide it next time?

[playing bugle]

[theme music]

- There you are Mrs. Wilson, 10 pounds of sulfur

and a gallon of black strap molasses.

- Well that ought to be enough to last George

while he's on his trip.

He wouldn't think of going through the spring

without being fortified by sulfur and molasses.

- My dear old mother used to say there's

nothing better as a spring tonic.

- Oh, do you take it too?

- Me?

Frankly, it's all I can do to sell it.

- Just put this on our bill.

I better get back and help George pack.

- Thank you Mrs. Wilson and call again.

- Hi Mrs. Wilson.

- Oh, hello boys.

- Hi Mr. Quigley. - Dennis.

- I've got a grocery list here somewhere

that my mom wants you to fill.

- Has Mr. Wilson left on his trip yet?

- No, he's leaving this afternoon.

- We sure are going to miss good old Mr. Wilson.

We were counting on him to coach our baseball team again

this year.

- Yeah.

Now we're going to have to find somebody else.

Dennis's dad can't do it because he'll be out of town too much

of the season.

- Did you ask Mr. Schneider?

- You mean over at Schneider's Market across the street?

- Yes. - Schneider?

Why him of all people?

- George says he was a very good baseball player in high school.

He thought he'd be a good coach for the boys.

Well, goodbye.

- Bye Mrs. Wilson.

What do you think Tommy?

Should we go ask Mr. Schneider? - Sure.

He's a nice guy.

- OK, come on.

- Just a minute Dennis, uh-- don't you

want me to fill that grocery list for you?

- Thanks just the same Mr. Quigley,

but we'll get Mr. Schneider to fill it out

while we talk to him about baseball.

Come on, Tommy. - Well, wait a minute now.

As a matter of fact, I used to be quite a baseball

player myself.

- You're kidding.

- Did you really Mr. Quigley?

- As good as Mr. Schneider?

- Schneider.

If I couldn't play baseball as good as Sam Schneider

I'd-- say, did I ever tell you about the time I stretched

a bunt into a home run?

- Gosh, no.

How'd you do that?

- Well I-- let me have that grocery list Dennis,

and I'll tell you while I'm filling it.

My, this is a nice order.

One dozen eggs--

- Go on Mr. Quigley.

Tell us how you did it. - Yeah.

How'd you stretch a bunt into a home run?

- Well, I was mighty fast.

- Boy, you must have been.

- Let's see-- two quarts of milk and two boxes

of vanilla wafers.

- Hey don't change the subject.

- Yeah.

How'd you make a home run a bunt?

- Well I put a little English on the bunt, see.

And before the pitcher could get to it veered off toward third.

- Boy.

- Before the third baseman could get his hands on it

I was around second.

And the first baseman called, throw the ball to me.

- Why did the first baseman want the ball

if you were already at second?

- Well, I went past first so fast that he didn't even see me.

By the time the third baseman threw the ball to first

I was heading for home in a cloud of dust.

- What happened after that?

- Nothing.

After that, whenever I ran the bases

they called the game on account of dust.

- Otis, you must be out of your mind

thinking you can coach a baseball team.

- Oh now Dolly.

- Of all the crazy ideas, this takes the cake.

You don't know a thing about coaching.

- Well I can learn, can't I?

After all, ten years ago you said

I didn't know anything about running a grocery store.

- Ten years ago?

I said that ten minutes ago.

- Now honey bun, listen to me.

I couldn't very well let them go to Schneider's, could I?

First thing you know he'd have them all as customers.

- Another thing-- if they pick you,

who's going to mind the store while you're out coaching.

- Well I thought maybe you would.

- Oh, goody.

In addition to the cooking, the scrubbing, the mending,

the cleaning, the washing, the ironing, the gardening,

you're going to let me take care of the store.

Lucky me.

- Now honey bun, think what this will mean to us.

On the back of every one of those t-shirts

I'll have Quigley's Market.

Now there are nine boys on every team

and they each have two parents and they

have sisters and brothers and uncles and aunts

and they all eat food.

And with me as coach who do you think

they're going to buy it from?

- Well don't be disappointed if they

get smart and don't ask you.

- I'm as good as elected.

[doorbell] Oh.

- Well, boys come on in.

[interposing voices]

- Hi you boys.

- Well gentlemen, to what do I owe the honor of this visit?

- Mr. Quigley, we've elected you to be

coach of the pee wee baseball team.

- Do you hear that Dolly?

Isn't that nice. - Lovely.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll let you boys talk baseball.

- All right.

What do you say Mr. Quigley?

Will you be our coach?

- In the words of that great patriot

Cincinnatus, "I defer to the will of destiny."

- What'd he say?

- Sounds like he's going to coach for Cincinnati.

- Oh, no, no.

That means I accept.

- Oh, boy!

- (CHANTING) Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?

Coach Quigley!

Yay!

- Gentlemen, if we can get Sandy Koufax to cooperate,

it'll be the biggest thing that's happened to our town

since William Gibbs McAdoo lost his hat in our hotel check

room.

Now the question is, who do we get to contact Mr. Koufax?

As I see it--

[buzzer]

- Yes, Luella?

- (ON SPEAKER) Mr. Otis Quigley's here to see you, sir.

- Oh, send him right in.

You know Otis Quigley-- big help to me in my last campaign.

[knocking]

- Come in!

- Good morning, mayor.

Gentlemen. - Good morning Otis.

- Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

- Not at all Otis.

What's on your mind?

- Well, our team in the pee wee league

has elected me their coach.

- Really?

Congratulations.

- Thank you.

And so as coach, I've come down here

to see what the city can do about giving them

some new uniforms.

- Well now Otis, as much as we'd like

to help there isn't anything in the city

budget for pee wee baseball uniforms.

- After all, Mr. Mayor, these boys are our future leaders.

Every one of them a prospective customer-- uh, voter.

- You've got a point there Otis.

Tell you what-- Sandy Koufax is coming to town for a few days.

- Sandy who?

- Sandy Koufax, a famous pitcher with the Dodgers.

He's arriving tomorrow to visit his aunt.

- Really?

- Yes.

And I had the idea to-- [coughing] Lloyd

and I had the idea to contact Mr. Koufax about getting

the Dodgers to play an exhibition game in the spring

right here in our own town.

- Why Mr. Mayor-- and Lloyd.

That's a wonderful idea.

- Yes.

And I'll make you a proposition, Otis.

- I'll see what I can do about getting uniforms for the pee

wees if you'll contact Mr. Koufax

and sell him on this exhibition game idea.

- You bet I will.

- And another thing, I'll make you

chairman of the welcoming committee

if the Dodgers come to town.

- You'd do that?

- Right.

- Mayor, I compliment you on your choice.

And believe me, as coach of our pee wee team,

I'm eminently qualified for this important assignment.

- Fine, Otis.

We're depending on you.

Here's his aunt's address where he'll be staying.

- Thank you.

And don't you worry about a thing.

I'll get on just dandy with Sandy.

Dandy with Sandy, oh.

All right now, stand right up straight there fellas.

OK, let me through here.

That's it.

Close right in.

I'll stand over here by Dennis.

All right.

Ready for the picture.

- For heaven's sakes Mr. Quigley.

Turn them around so I can see their faces.

- Oh, well all right fellas.

Turn around.

Here, here-- that's it.

All right, shoot.

- Well that was fine.

I'll get some more shots when you're in action.

- Good.

- When will the picture be in the paper Mr. Quigley?

- Well Dennis, what difference does it make?

- It'll be in tomorrow evening's addition, Dennis.

- Not til then? - That's right.

- Oh.

Well, all right boys, let's get at it.

Tommy you catch and Dennis you come with me.

Everybody warm up now.

Now let's go.

[boys yelling]

- All right now Dennis.

I want you to show me how you throw a good curve ball.

- One curve ball coming up. - All right.

- Ready Tommy? - Yep!

- Wait a minute, Dennis.

No, you can't get any power into a pitch without a wind up.

- You can't?

- Certainly not.

Now here, here, let me show you.

That's right, you stand right over there.

All right Tommy.

A fast one right over the plate.

- I'll put on my spacesuit and go after that one.

- Well I-- I'm a little wild yet, I haven't warmed up.

But that just shows you the value of early spring training.

Here, here.

You know how to do it now.

Let me see you try it.

Here you are.

Here's the ball.

- I didn't think pitchers wound up like this anymore.

- Excuse me but I think he's right.

He'll just wear himself out like that.

- Is that so?

- What do you know about pitching?

- Well, I know I've got a lot to learn but--

- I should say you have.

Now let me tell you something, sport.

I'm the coach here and I don't need help from every Tom,

Dick, and Harry that wanders in here.

Now, you go on about your own business.

If you've got any.

- Hey, aren't you Sandy Koufax?

- That's right.

- He, Sandy Koufax-- you-- - (YELLING) Hey guys!

It's Sandy Koufax, the pitcher for the Dodgers!

- Holy mackerel, now I've done it.

[cheering]

- Hey Mr. Koufax!

How many games are you going to win this year, twenty?

- I think he can win thirty!

- Hey, take it easy.

- Can I have your autograph, Mr. Koufax?

- Why don't you call me Sandy.

- How about autographing my baseball [inaudible], Sandy.

- I'll be glad to.

- How long are you going to be around here Sandy?

- Oh, just for a few days.

- Hey, if you're going be around for a while, how

about giving us some pointers on baseball?

- Yeah, we sure could do with a coach

who knows what it's all about.

- How about it, Sandy?

Will you coach us?

- I'll be happy to.

It'll give me a chance to work out a little.

- Oh boy.

We'll be a cinch to win the pee wee league championship now.

- Sandy! - Sandy.

- Hey Sandy.

How about a picture Sandy?

- Fine. - Hey!

I want to be in it too!

- Well you can all be in it.

Let's go over there.

[cheering]

- But-- but after all, I'm-- I'm--

- I guess I'm not needed around here.

[whistle] And after I'd insulted Koufax,

I couldn't very well ask him for a favor.

- Well didn't you even try to apologize?

- I didn't have a chance with all that commotion going on.

Anyway, it wasn't my fault.

How'd I know it was Sandy Koufax.

The mayor said he wouldn't be in town til tomorrow.

- Well I told you not to believe everything that mayor says.

- Dolly you should have seen the way those boys crowded

around Sandy Koufax, totally ignoring me.

And after I spent all that money for those t-shirts.

- Yeah, first thing you know Koufax

will open up a grocery store.

- Dolly don't say that.

I feel bad enough already.

Now I know how Casey Stengel felt.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, he's here.

It's the mayor, coach.

- How will I ever explain this to him?

Hello your honor.

- Otis.

I just heard that Sandy Koufax is already in town.

- Yeah, I know.

- Well, did you speak to him?

- Yes I uh-- I spoke to him.

- Good.

What did he say?

- Well, things are kind of up in the air at the moment.

- What do you mean?

- Well with all that commotion going on, people milling around

and--

- Now Otis, don't you goof on this.

We're depending on you so get on the ball.

Did you get it Otis?

I'm talking about baseball and I say, get on the ball.

Pretty funny, ay Otis?

- Oh, yes Mr. Mayor.

That's very funny, very-- goodbye.

Dolly, help me.

What am I going to do?

- Stop blubbering and go apologize to the man.

- Well, I guess I'll have to.

If I don't get Koufax's cooperation,

I won't be head of that welcoming committee

if the Dodgers do come to town.

The mayor gave me his address.

I'll go talk to Koufax right after dinner.

- That's a good idea.

- Say, wait a minute.

Why don't we ask him here for dinner?

- No, forget it.

Tonight's no night to have a Dodger here.

- Why not?

- You know what we're having?

Yankee Pot Roast.

- Oh, you're as funny as the mayor.

[doorbell]

- Good evening.

Is uh, Sandy Koufax staying here?

- Yes, I'm his aunt Harriet.

- Oh, I'm delighted to meet you.

I'm Otis Quigley.

I wonder if I might see Sandy.

- Well, he's shaving right now but he'll be out in a minute

if you care to wait.

- Oh, thank you.

- Won't you sit down?

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, you're so nice and polite you remind me of Hack Wilson.

Did you know Hack?

- Hack?

- Hack Wilson, power hitter for the Chicago Cubs.

RBI champ, 1930. - RBI?

- Runs batted in.

Old Hack's got the all-time record.

Knocked in 190 in one season.

- Oh, oh that Hack.

- Boy, could he ever suck that old apple.

He was one of the top of all time home run hitters.

Banged out 244.

- Remarkable.

- And you say you never knew him.

- No, no, I didn't know him.

I'm very sorry.

- What do you want to see Sandy about?

- Well Sandy and I had a little misunderstanding this afternoon

and I came here to apologize.

- Oh, Sandy never holds a grudge.

He's the most generous, forgiving boy in the world.

- Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that.

It's very important that Sandy and I get on good terms.

Is that his bat?

- That's my bat.

I swung a mean willow in the old days.

- You mean, you played baseball?

- Played shortstop for the Harrisburg Hurricanes,

semi-pro.

I hold a lifetime batting average of 300.

- Oh, you mean softball.

- Softball.

What do you think I am, a sissy?

Hottest team in southern Pennsylvania.

We had four nurses, two manicurists, two mail order

secretaries, and a lady blacksmith.

- Well, I was pretty good with a bat once myself.

I remember one time I was playing with my hometown team

and the tying run was at third when I came to the plate.

The pitcher threw me a drop but I was ready for it.

I watched the ball come nearer and nearer and then I swung.

- Oh!

- Oh, no I'm terribly sorry! - Now look what you've done!

Are you all right Sandy?

- Well at least it's not broken.

- Oh, I feel terrible about this.

Well thank heaven anyway it's his left arm.

He can still pitch.

- Knucklehead!

Sandy's a southpaw!

- Oh!

- Sandy I'll rub that arm down with some alcohol

and then I'll put the heat lamp on.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Oh, just a minute.

Otis it's that yacky mayor.

- I'm not in.

- Oh he'll only call back.

MAYOR (ON PHONE): You bet your life I will.

- Take over.

I have to go to the bank.

- Hello Mr. Mayor.

I just came in.

- Otis, what's this I hear about you

insulting Sandy Koufax by not even knowing who he was?

- Well Mr. Mayor, you see--

- You're darn tooting, I see.

I see I picked the wrong man for the job.

- But Mr. Mayor.

- A famous personality comes to visit our fair city

and-- and you insult him.

- I can explain if you'll only listen to me.

- Quigley, I didn't get where I am today by listening.

I should've known better than to entrust you

with an important civic responsibility.

And you can forget about being chairman

of the welcoming committee.

I'll handle it myself.

- This is the blackest day of my life.

- Hi Mr. Quigley.

- Hello Mitchell.

Well, Dennis I didn't expect to see you

as long as Sandy Koufax was in town.

- Dennis told me about that.

That's why we're here to talk to you.

- Yes.

We missed you at baseball practice.

- That's hard to believe Dennis.

Obviously with Koufax here you don't need me.

- We do too need you Mr. Quigley.

Sandy's only going to be here a few days.

Come out this afternoon, will you please?

- Well--

- Dennis, why don't you run on out to baseball practice

and let me talk to Mr. Quigley.

- OK.

But make him come, will you dad?

Even Sandy Koufax says we've got to have a coach.

And if Mr. Quigley doesn't show up

he'll send over his aunt Harriet.

- His aunt?

Of all the nerve.

- Well after all Mr. Quigley, the boys did elect you their coach.

I think you're letting them down.

- I'm letting them down?

You didn't see them ignore me to crowd around Sandy Koufax.

- Come on, Mr. Quigley.

How about it?

After all, Sandy'll only be here for a short time

and then who's going to coach the boys?

- Well, I'll have to think it over.

- Now, Dennis this is the way you hold

the ball when you throw a slider.

- Boy, I sure do want to learn that.

- By the way Dennis, what happened to Mr. Quigley?

I thought you were going to bring him back with you today.

- Well, he says as long as we've got you we don't need him.

- For once he's right.

- Watch it now, Rodney.

That's not nice.

Besides, you know I'm going to leave in a few days.

- I feel like a fifth wheel around here Mitchell.

- Nonsense, you're the main cog.

And I don't think you ought to put off talking to Koufax.

- Oh, I don't want to disturb him now.

I better wait til he's alone.

- Hi Mr. Quigley!

Boy, I'm glad you decided to come.

You're just in time to help us with batting practice.

- No, for the time being Dennis I'm here merely as an observer.

- All right you guys, let's sharpen up our batting eyes.

- Well burn my toast.

Is she taking over?

- Don't let her Mr. Quigley.

We don't want a woman coaching us how to bat.

- I should say not.

- You'll get better results son if you

choke your bat a little more.

- If you don't mind, I'm the coach here.

- Is that so?

- Yes, that's so.

The trouble with you Albert is that you're

choking the bat too much.

Hold it here and then you'll get some real power

into your swing.

- Atta boy Mr. Quigley.

You show him.

- How about it Sandy?

You ready?

- OK Tommy.

Promised the boys I'd pitch a few.

- I told them I'd umpire.

- Now look out.

You've got to get the bat up high, up high like this.

Then you can get some power when you swing.

Now look.

You fellas get over there behind the backstop.

I'll show you what I mean.

If someone will just throw me one.

- He will.

- Oh my gosh.

Dennis, you take this.

I don't feel like swinging a bat today.

- Oh go on Mr. Quigley.

Hit a few.

- Well I-- I-- I--

- How can he show anybody how to bat

when he falls apart just standing there.

- Yeah he's supposed to be our coach

and he's afraid to bad against Sandy.

- He is not afraid.

Are you Mr. Quigley?

- No but, uh-- You can kill me with that ball.

- Sandy, is there

do to make him look good out there?

He's having a rough time with the kids.

- Well he closes his eyes every time he swings.

Maybe I can hit his bat.

I missed it.

- Poor guy, he's nervous.

The mayor asked him to talk to you

about getting the Dodgers out here for an exhibition game

and offered him the chairmanship of the welcoming committee.

- Well, I'll try it again.

[cheering]

- Wow.

- Wow, that's a home run in anybody's league!

- Boy, you were great Mr. Quigley.

- Imagine getting a home run off Sandy Koufax.

And I saw it coach.

- Oh it wasn't anything, really.

- Mr. Koufax!

I'm the mayor of our little city and I want to welcome you.

- Well thank you sir.

- At the same time I want to apologize for the miserable

treatment you received at the hands of uh-- Quigley here.

- What do you mean mayor?

Mr. Quigley and I are friends.

- Oh-- oh you are?

- He just hit a home run off of me.

One of the longest I've ever seen.

- Oh, well I must have been misinformed.

- Well that's not unusual.

- Mr. Koufax, the reason I'm here is to ask you a favor.

Do you suppose you could get the Dodgers to play an exhibition

game in our town next spring?

Well I think it's a great idea and I'll

recommended it on one condition.

- Oh of course, of course, what is it?

- That my good friend, Mr. Quigley,

be made chairman of the welcoming committee.

He's a real baseball fan and he's

doing a great job with these kids.

- Why sure thing, Mr. Koufax.

Otis, the whole kit and kaboodle is in your hands.

- Oh really?

Thank you Mr. Mayor.

And Sandy, I want to apologize for balling you out yesterday,

not to mention almost knocking you out with the bat.

- Forget it, coach.

After being balled out by Walter Alston

you sounded almost friendly.

Put her there.

- You bet I will.

- Boy, that's great.

Well, OK you guys.

Let's hear it for coach Quigley.

- (CHANTING) Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?

Coach Quigley, yay!

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: This has been a screen gems film production

from the Hollywood studios of Columbia Pictures.