Original subtitles

- Hey mom!

Did you call me for something?

- No, dear.

- Hey dad!

Did you call me for something?

- No, I didn't.

- I told Mr. Wilson nobody was calling me!

[theme music]

- 18 to the right.

Ah-hah.

24 left.

36 to the right. There.

- Hello dear.

- Oh, hello Martha.

- I see you're still playing with your new wall safe.

- Well, now Martha, not only is that safe something

that I've wanted for years, but as the advertisement said,

"A successful business executive should never

be without a protected place in which to keep his valuables."

- And what valuables have you put in so far?

- Now, let's see.

Oh.

Here's the deed to the property that Mitchell and I

are selling to Mr. Merryvale.

My insurance papers.

And Fremont's dog license is in there.

Here are the tickets to the lodge raffle.

Oh yes.

And here's my good conduct medal from the office manager's

convention.

- I don't see how we've managed without a wall safe

all this time.

- Yes.

Well, now to memorize the combination

and destroy this little strip of paper.

- Don't think you ought to keep the paper just in case?

- Now, Martha, have you ever known

me to forget anything really important?

- Well, you keep forgetting to cancel the newspapers

every time we leave town.

- Ah, let me see here.

18, 24, 36.

- Hi, Mr.-- Are you praying, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, good heavens, Dennis.

Can't you knock?

- Your door was open.

- Well, you should have closed it and then knocked.

- I came over to see if you'd blow up our football.

- Mmm, oh all right.

- Will you play football with us, Mr. Wilson?

We'll let you play center!

- No, I will not play football with you.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

It's only touch football.

We won't hurt ya.

Boy, look at that big hole in the wall.

- That isn't a hole in the wall, Dennis.

That's a wall safe.

- What's a wall safe, Mr. Wilson?

- Well, it's used to keep valuables in.

- Boy, that must be the biggest piggy bank in the whole world!

- Here. Here.

Take your dirty old pig skin and leave me in peace.

18, 24, 36.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson.

Can I keep something valuable in your new wall safe?

- Now, Dennis, what would you have that's valuable?

Your bronze baby shoes?

- Oh, hi Mrs. Wilson!

- Hello dear.

George, what harm would it do to let

him keep some little thing in your safe?

- Martha, I had that safe especially installed

for-- Oh, all right, Dennis.

You can keep something of yours in my safe,

but only on certain conditions.

- Oh, boy! Sure!

Anything, Mr. Wilson!

- One, that it doesn't take up too much space.

Two, that it is not alive.

- Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

You're the best friend any kid ever had.

- Well!

I won't be needing this anymore.

Yes, sir.

Martha, just think.

As this slip of paper turns to ashes,

I become the only person living or dead

who knows the combination to that wall safe.

- 18, 24, 36, hike!

[crash]

ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Oh darn!

- Quiet please!

There's an artist at work out here!

- Oh.

I'm all thumbs today.

- That's the nicest pair of thumbs

I've seen in many a year. - Flatterer.

Henry, what happens if Mr. Merryvale suddenly

changes his mind about buying the property tomorrow?

- Well, we'll all go back to eating bread and water.

- Oh, you.

I still don't see why Mr. Merryvale is

willing to pay $5,000 for land you

and Mr. Wilson only paid $3,000 for less than a year ago.

- I guess he figures it's the best

place he could find for his new outdoor nursery.

Now you stop worrying.

- Oh, I'm not worried.

I'm just excited.

Ah, think of all the things we can

do with our share of the money.

There's our old washing machine to trade in.

And the sofa needs upholstering.

And you know we really ought to remodel the upstairs bathroom.

- Hold it.

Hold it.

We just went bankrupt.

- Hi mom!

Hi dad!

Guess what?

- Watch it!

You just got drafted by the Green Bay Packers.

- Heck, no.

Mr. Wilson's gonna let me keep something in his new wall safe.

- [gasp] My goodness!

- It can't be anything alive, though.

Mr. Wilson made me promise.

- Well, that sure limits his selection.

- All right, now dad?

- OK, but keep it right here in the corner.

- Oh boy!

- D. M. Can I put my thumb print in too?

- Be my guest.

TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!

- Coming Tommy!

18, 24, 36, hike!

Jeepers, I'm getting better at that new play all the time!

- D.M. Odd, isn't it how little boys

can't resist putting their initials into wet cement.

- What were you saying about little boys, dear?

- Hey, Mr. Wilson.

Remember saying I could put something in your safe?

- I remember, Dennis.

- Here, Mr. Wilson.

- What are these, mash notes from Margaret?

- Gads, no.

They're my baseball cards.

I've got to keep them someplace safe until next season.

- Now, Dennis, I'm sure Mr. Wil--

- Alice, George promised.

- Oh.

Besides, there's plenty of room here for a few cards.

- And here are a few more.

- Hmm.

- And these are the ones from the American League.

Are you real sure that's a real safe safe, Mr. Wilson?

- I wouldn't worry, Dennis.

- Is the deed for the property in there too, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, yes, Alice.

Right here on top, ready to be handed over

to that old skin flint Merryvale.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it!

- Oh!

Now, Dennis.

- It's all right.

Go ahead, dear.

- Hello?

Oh, hi Mr. Merryvale!

It's Mr. Merryvale!

- I knew it!

He's backing out!

- He's probably found a cheaper piece of property.

- How are you, Mr. Merryvale?

- Terrible.

The land's too small, the price is too high,

and my lumbago's killing me.

- Now, see here, Merryvale.

You will never find another piece of land at that price

and you know it!

- You just make sure you have that deed ready at 11:00

tomorrow morning. - (ANGRILY) And another thing.

If you think you're the only one interested in that--

What did you say?

- I'll be there at 11:00.

And you have that overpriced deed

of yours ready to hand over.

- Yes, sir.

Well!

I guess I told him! - What did he want, dear?

- Oh, he was simply confirming our meeting

at 11:00 tomorrow morning, at which time

we'll complete the transaction.

- Oh.

I'm a nervous wreck!

- Now, Alice, we told you ladies Merryvale wouldn't back out.

- Sure, we did.

Come on, honey, take me home so I

can have my nervous breakdown in private.

- Well, it was pleasant.

- Mr. Wilson?

- Huh?

- Are you real sure my baseball cards will be safe in there?

- Dennis.

Not only is that the best wall safe made,

but I happen to be the only one who knows the combination.

Not even the manufacturer has a record of it.

- I sure hope it's a good one.

I must have chewed a ton of bubblegum to get those cards.

- I'll tell you what.

If it'll put your mind at ease, suppose

you try opening the safe yourself before you go home.

- Oh boy!

Can I?

- I'll even give you a little hint.

Now, you, uh, turn the dial to the right to a number.

Then left to a number.

And then right again to another number.

- I think I'll try one of my football signals.

- You can try anything you like, because you'll

be there quite a while, Dennis.

Now, when Merryvale gets over here on that deal,

Mitchell, don't you give an inch.

- We stand firm on our price.

- Which he agreed to.

Then we'll put our profits into another piece of property

and make a real killing!

- I did it!

I did it!

- Great Scott, Martha!

He's opened my safe!

- Oh, don't feel bad, Mr. Wilson.

Mom says there's nothing I can't get

my hands into if I really try!

- 8, 8, 12, hike!

- No touchdown! - Come on!

[children yelling] TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Fine.

They won't get a touchdown this time!

- What are you doing, dear?

- Oh.

I'm just making sure that this deed's in perfect order.

Merryvale will be here in a little over an hour, you know.

[children cheering]

- There's Dennis playing football.

- Oh, Martha, don't even mention that name.

If it weren't for Dennis, this would

be one of the happiest days of my life.

- Oh, now, dear, don't get all upset over nothing.

- Nothing?

Martha, I buy the best fireproof, burglar-proof wall

safe made, a safe that master criminals of the underworld

aren't supposed to be able to get into.

And what happens?

Along comes Dennis and opens it up like a cookie jar.

Great Scott!

- What is it, dear.

- Martha, that insidious little boy

has discovered some way of reading my mind!

- Now, really, George.

- Well, he has.

No wonder I've been having headaches lately.

- Hi Mrs. Wilson!

Hi Mr. Wilson!

- Hello, dear.

- Oh, what is it, Dennis?

- Can I try opening your safe again, Mr. Wilson?

- Dennis, you promised!

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

I'm not going to show anyone how.

I just want to see if I can still do it.

- I have no intention of letting you

open my safe in front of half the neighborhood.

- Golly, you mean he really did open your safe?

- I told ya I did!

- Wow-wee!

- All right.

If you boys don't mind, visiting hours are over.

- Don't you worry, Mr. Wilson.

You secret is safe with me.

- Oh, Dennis.

- It wouldn't surprise me if Dennis has already

forgotten the right numbers.

Now you just relax and think of all the nice things

that we're going to do with the money you

get from Mr. Merryvale.

- Sometimes I wonder why you put up

with an old worrywart like me.

- Because you're my worrywart, dear.

- 18, 24, 36, hike!

- Nice catch.

Let's go.

- OK?

- We'll get them next time.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): 18, 24, 36, hike!

[inaudible] this way!

[children cheering]

- Great Scott!

He's still using the numbers to my safe.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): 18, 24, 36, hike!

- Well, it won't be long now.

- My, aren't we dressed up.

- Well, I thought Mr. Wilson and I might drop down to the bank

after Mr. Merryvale gave us the check.

- You sure you're planning to take your share of the loot

and run off with another woman.

[door bell]

- Saved by the bell.

- Oh, hi Mr. Wilson.

- Mitchell, you have got to do something.

- About what?

- Dennis.

He's out there blabbing the combination of my safe

all over the neighborhood! - What?

- Let's go now!

- Come on, let's get this Tommy!

- 18, 24, 36, hike!

- See there, Mitchell, he just did it again.

- But they're only children, Mr. Wilson.

Besides, they don't even know what the numbers stand for.

- But Alice, you know how children

Dennis's age are about keeping secrets.

As long as Dennis remembers the combination,

there's no telling whose hands it

might accidentally fall in to.

- 18, 24, 36, hike!

- Dennis!

Dennis, come here a minute.

- Yes, dad?

- Son, the numbers you're using in that football pair

are the ones that opened Mr. Wilson's safe.

- Jeepers, they are?

18, 24, 36, hike?

They make a good football play, too!

- Son, perhaps we better go inside and try and figure out

some way to get you to forget those numbers.

Come on.

- Dennis!

Where you going?

- I'll be right out, Tommy.

I gotta go inside and forget about something.

- Dennis, try repeating all the important dates

you can think of.

- Well, 1492, 1776, 1918, 1942, July 12.

- July 12?

- That's the day school closes!

- Mitchell, what if he were to try counting backwards.

- Oh, that's easy.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, 2, 1, blastoff!

- All right.

Well, now, can you still remember Mr. Wilson's numbers?

- Sure!

18, 24, 36, hike!

- You men aren't forgetting about your meeting.

- Oh, we've still got a half an hour

before Merryvale's due, honey.

There's got to be some way to make him forget those numbers.

- We could try dropping him on his head.

- Dennis, those football plays of yours,

do you always use the same signals

with the-- with the same plays each time?

- Sometimes you make up new ones.

- I see.

All right.

We'll run through some new plays and you

can make up the signals as we go along.

- Oh boy! Let's go!

- I'll be the center.

- But Mitchell, I fail to see what--

- Mr. Wilson, bear with me.

You can be the end.

- The end?

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, you'd make a swell end.

Nobody'd ever be able to get around you!

- Well, I suppose I'm lucky I don't have to be the football!

- 89, 72, 63, hike!

You fumbled!

- Well, so sue me.

- Now let's do a play with a great big long signal.

- You mean something like the left spin right fake

pass off play?

- That's exactly the one I had in mind!

- OK, let's go.

76, 24, 65, 14, 29, 88, 21, 49, 55, 12, 102, hike!

Here, Mr. Wilson!

Jeepers, are you all right, Mr. Wilson?

- How can anything that's mostly air be so hard!

- OK.

Do you still remember the numbers of that new play

you were using outside?

- 89, 72, 63, hike?

- Now, what's the combination of Mr. Wilson's safe?

- Oh, that's easy.

It's-- It's-- I forgot!

- Mitchell, he forgot!

- I sure am smart, huh, Mr. Wilson!

- Dennis, you're practically a genius.

Now hurry up, Mitchell, as fast as you can!

- All right, Mr. Wilson. I'll be over in a few minutes.

- Ah! We did it!

Martha!

- Yes, dear?

- Oh, it's turning out to be a perfect day after all.

Mitchell and I got Dennis so confused,

he completely forgot the numbers.

- How did you do it?

- Oh, it was simple!

Mitchell made Dennis call a whole new string of football

numbers, like 112, 35, 64, 109, 22.

Very simple.

Well, now all I have to do is get ready for Merryvale.

Get the deed out of the safe--

- Oh, great Scott!

- What is it, dear?

- Dennis!

He's made me forget my old combination!

I've got it.

48, 19, 30-- Oh, fiddle-faddle.

No, that's not it.

- How are you doing, dear?

- It's just awful, Martha.

All I can remember are Dennis's football plays.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

We just gotta open that safe.

Tommy wants to make an off-season

trade in baseball cards with me.

- Dennis, if we ever do get that safe open,

you can take your baseball cards and--

- Now, George.

- Think hard, Dennis.

Don't any numbers come to mind at all?

- I remember 47, all right.

- 47?

- That's how many of my baseball cards

are stuck in Mr. Wilson's safe.

- It's five minutes of 11:00.

- There's only one thing to do, Mr. Wilson.

Call Merryvale and see if we can postpone the appointment.

- Oh, I suppose you're right, Mitchell.

[sigh]

[phone ringing]

- Merryvale Nursery.

- Oh, good morning, Mr. Merryvale.

Wilson here.

- Ah, keep your shirt on Mr. Wilson.

I'm just going out the door.

- Oh, well, that's just exactly what

I'm calling about Mr. Merryvale.

You see, the deed is locked in my safe

and I seem to have temporarily forgotten the combination.

- Oh, no you don't, Wilson.

Don't you try to stall me while you're

waiting for a better deal.

- Mr. Merryvale!

- I'll be by in five minutes.

Either you have that deed or forgot the whole thing!

- He's on his way over, and unless we

have the deed he's canceling the deal.

- Maybe we should call Opie.

- Oh, Martha, if the safe people can't help us,

what good could a handyman do?

- Jeepers, if we only knew how to get hold of the Spiderman,

I bet you he would help us.

- The Spiderman?

- I believe he's on television.

- You never saw the Spiderman Mr. Wilson?

He climbs up the side of buildings into windows,

and he hypnotizes people so they can tell him things

that he wants to know.

- All right, Dennis.

We haven't got any time for this.

- No, wait a minute, Mitchell.

That's it!

Martha, you remember those books I read on hypnotism?

- I remember you tried to hypnotize Fremont,

and he almost bit you.

- What does hypnotism got to do with it?

- Don't you see, Mitchell?

All we have to do is hypnotize Dennis

and have him tell us the combination!

- Boy, I gotta tell the kids about this!

- Dennis, come back here!

- This can't be harmful, can it, Mr. Wilson?

- Alice, you haven't a thing to worry about.

Martha, where is that lucky coin of mine, the one with the chain

on.

- George, I wish you wouldn't.

- Now, Martha, Martha.

Just leave this to me.

It's in the desk.

- Ah, here we are.

Now, Dennis-- Dennis, I want you to sit right here.

- Ah, Mr. Wilson, you're sure this is perfectly safe.

- Now, Mitchell, I have read many books on the subject

and watched it done many times.

- Now, Dennis, I want you to watch the coin

as it goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

A child-like brain like Dennis should go under in seconds.

Back and forth, back and forth.

You're getting more and more relaxed,

as the coin goes back and forth.

Back and forth.

You're getting more and more relaxed,

as the coin goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth,

back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

- Mr. Wilson?

- George.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, he has a silly expression on his face.

- Mr. Wilson, can you hear me?

- I hear you, Mitchell.

- Mr. Wilson, give me the combination to your safe.

- It's my safe.

- I know it's your safe, Mr. Wilson.

Just give me the combination so we can open it.

- If you want to open something, buy your own safe.

- George Wilson, you tell us that combination this very minute.

- You sure told him, Mrs. Wilson!

- Yes, Martha.

18, 24, 36.

- Boy, that sure sounds like my football play, all right!

- Well, we'll soon find out.

18,

[doobell ring] - 24--

- Henry, hurry! - He's here!

- 36. Ah!

- Oh!

Thank goodness!

- Are my baseball cards still there?

- Oh, Dennis, please.

[doorbell ring]

- Good morning, Mr. Merryvale.

- Well, Mr. Mitchell, is it yes or no?

Hmm.

Well, that seems to be in proper order.

- And so does this.

- Won't you come in and have some coffee, Mr. Merryvale?

- No, thank you, Mrs. Wilson.

I'm on an emergency call, rushing a load of bug spray

to a hysterical gardener.

- Oh, boy!

- $5,000!

- Boy, what a bag of jelly beans we can buy with that!

- Now we can buy that deed of property, Mr. Wilson!

Wilson?

- The poor dear.

We forgot to wake him up!

George!

- Huh?

Oh, hello Martha.

Why, my goodness.

I must have dozed off!

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

You must have a child-like brain that's even better than mine!

- What are you talking about?

- You hypnotized yourself, dear, and told

us the combination to the safe.

- Oh, now Martha, don't be ridiculous!

- Well, here's the check to prove it.

Merryvale's been here and gone.

- Why I can't believe it!

- You were swinging your good luck coin back and forth

like this.

Back and forth like this.

Then all of a sudden-- Uh-oh.

He's gone all silly looking again!

- I think he's really under this time.

- Mr. Wilson?

Are you all right?

- Let me try, dear.

George, I think I'll buy a new fur coat.

- What did you say, Martha?

- Jeepers, Mrs. Wilson.

That sure woke him up all right.

- Dear, Mr. Wilson's been reacting the same way

to that line for the last 30 years.

- Now Martha, really.

- But this time, I think I may finally get that coat.

- Oh, no you're not!

Great Scott!

[theme music]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This has been a Screen Gems film

production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.