Original subtitles

- Hey, Mom, when Dad's not here didn't he

say I'm the man of the house? - He certainly did, and I agree.

- Swell.

Then I think the man of the house

won't have liver for lunch today.

I think he'll have a peanut butter

sandwich and a glass of root beer.

[music playing]

- Hello, Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, hello Dennis.

- What are you doing, Mr. Wilson?

Watering?

- I can't talk to you now Dennis, I'm trying to get through here.

- I'll help you get through so you can talk to me, OK?

- I was afraid of that.

- You'd get your watering done a lot faster

if you'd use a hose, Mr. Wilson.

- I'm not watering, Dennis, I'm spraying.

- I know it.

But you ought to use the hose so you can squirt.

- I don't want the squirt, I'm using an insecticide.

- Oh, I didn't know that.

- Well now you know.

- What's an insexicide, Mr. Wilson?

- It's to get rid of pests.

- What's a pest?

- It's a little six-legged creatures

that-- come to think of it, sometimes

they only have two legs.

- Morning Wilson, Dennis.

- Oh, hi [inaudible].

- Hi!

I've never seen those kids before.

- Neither have I.

- Bang, bang, bang, bang. - Kapow!

Kapow!

Wouldn't it be nice if they moved next door to you?

Gee, I haven't seen you since you used to live here,

Mr. Burnley?

- Oh, you remember me, do you?

- Sure I do.

I remember you from when Mrs. Burnley

used to hang out the wash.

She made you wear that long, funny underwear

with the door in it.

- They don't miss much, do they?

- Mr. Wilson bought a bunch of new underwear,

didn't you Mr. Wilson?

- All right, Dennis.

- And Mrs. Wilson bought a new--

- That's enough, Dennis.

- OK.

But I found an old one in the trash can.

And me and Tommy can both get in it at the same time.

- I've asked you to stay out of our trash can, Dennis.

- Oh, the curiosity of the young.

It can drive an adult out of his mind.

- Sometimes when I get to feeling sorry for myself,

I just think of his mother.

She deserves flowers every day in the week.

- She sure does, boy.

- Oh, did you sell the house yet? - Nope.

The folks that just drove away love it.

- The ones with the kids?

- That's right.

But they say they can't afford it.

- Oh, well that's too bad.

Well, I guess you'll have to go back to renting it.

- No, no.

I may have to come down on my price a little.

Look, if you can drum up a buyer for me,

I'd gladly give you the 5% commission.

- Well, I haven't had much experience

selling real estate, but.

If I drum up somebody that'll buy your house,

will you give me the $0.05?

- Gladly, Dennis.

Gladly.

- I'll help you all I can Mr. Burnley.

- Well thank you, Dennis.

- And I'll see you later, Wilson.

Oh, if you drum up a prospect to look at it,

you know where the keys are.

- Right, very nice.

- Bye Mr. Burnley. - Goodbye.

- Are we going to finish up our spraying, Mr. Wilson?

- We're all finished, thank you.

I'm going in the house.

- What are we going to do in the house?

- Not we, me.

I'm going in where I can get some peace and quiet.

Now why don't you go home and talk to your mother?

- OK.

Did you mean what you said about her deserving flowers

every day in the week?

- I most certainly did.

- There goes a swell guy, Fremont.

My mom just loves flowers.

I'm home.

- Yes, Dennis.

How many times have I told you about slamming that door?

- Did I slam it?

Excuse me, Mom.

I guess I was in such a hurry to bring you these flowers,

that I forgot.

- Oh, Dennis, that was very sweet.

- You didn't get these from Mr. Wilson's yard?

- Sure, it was his idea.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

He said you should have them every day in the week.

- I'll have to check into this.

Say, have you seen my drum any place?

- Yes, it's up in your bedroom closet, why?

- I gotta drum up a customer.

I gotta sell a house.

- Hello?

- Hello, Mr. Wilson?

This Is Alice Mitchell.

Dennis tells me you've given him to pick some of your flowers.

- I certainly did not.

I'm developing the Wilson Zinnia,

and I want those flowers to go to seed.

Oh, you should see them.

They're just beautiful.

- I'm looking at them this very minute, Mr. Wilson.

Oh, Mrs. Mitchell, how could you possibly see them

from-- he picked five.

- I'm so sorry, Mr. Wilson.

And Dennis is going to be punished

for telling me a falsehood.

- Oh, he didn't lie.

He just misunderstood.

You see, I told him you deserve the flowers,

and I guess he just thought he could pick them.

- Well, I'll see to it that he never

touches your flowers again.

Even if I have to remind him several times a day,

it's the least I can do.

Will we be seeing you this evening

at the McClure's surprise anniversary party?

- We were not invited.

Oh, not that I care.

I know what happened.

Ted Melton organized the party.

And he's never gotten over my dog

beating his at the dog show.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Oh, fiddle faddle, it doesn't bother me.

Ted Melton's just showing himself

for the petty, small-minded person that he is.

But it'll be a cold day in Hawaii

before he's invited to my house again.

- We'll miss you, Mr. Wilson.

And I'm going to talk to Dennis about taking

our flowers right away. Goodbye.

Dennis, I want to talk to you.

- Martha, he just drives me crazy.

- Well, after all, you gave him the idea

about picking the flowers.

Don't be so grumpy.

Oh,

- Oh, it isn't that I want to be, Martha.

Honestly, I always thought when I reached my age,

I'd enjoy the sight of children playing,

sound of innocent laughter.

And answering their little questions.

I always thought they'd come to me

with their broken toys, and their problems.

I saw myself drying their tears, telling them

stories to make them laugh again.

- Well, George?

- And then Dennis shows up, ever since I've

been a nervous wreck.

- You often let little things annoy you.

Now you stretch out and have a nice nap.

I'm doing over to Helen Scott's.

- Oh, I remember her .

What are you going to see her about?

- She's going apartment hunting and she wants me along

for company.

- Oh.

Well say hello to Scott for me.

Have a good time Martha.

Oh boy, feels good.

[drum beating]

- What's that?

- House for sale.

- I don't believe it.

- House for sale.

- I believe it.

- House for sale.

- Dennis!

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

Will you please stop pounding that drum?

- Is something the matter, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes, there's something the matter, come here.

- George, for heaven's sakes , stop shouting at the boy.

had to shout to be heard.

Say, I have an idea.

Maybe I could talk him into cutting his drum

to see what makes the noise.

- Wilson, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

- Oh, I was only fooling.

- No you weren't.

- You want to talk to me, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes I do Dennis.

Don't step in the flowers.

that was close, wasn't it Mr. Wilson?

- Dennis, I'd like to buy your drum.

- I'll give be $0.50 for it.

- Well, my Grandpa gave it to me, so I can't sell it.

Why don't you as Mrs. Wilson to buy you one of your own?

Dennis, what I'm trying to get you to do is stop beating it,

I'm resting.

- Oh.

Excuse me Mr. Wilson.

Will you let me know you're through so I

can back to selling the house again?

Mr. Burnley needs that money pretty bad.

Hey, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson!

- What?

I was just thinking, wouldn't it be

swell if somebody moved in that had kids

for you and me to play with?

- Boy, that window sure breaks easy, doesn't it, Mr. Wilson?

Remember when my baseball went through it?

- Now see what you've done.

Oh, never mind that.

Say, Martha?

You say the Scott's are looking for a new apartment, huh?

- That's right.

- He's quite well off, isn't he?

- Yes, but why do you ask?

- Do they have any little children?

- No, they're our age.

- Any grandchildren?

- No.

They're childless.

- They sound wonderful.

Wait till I change my clothes!

- Well what's this all about, here are you going?

- With you.

I'm going to talk to Scott's into buying a house.

- Hi, honey.

- Oh hello, dear.

- Hi dad.

- Hi, Son.

What have you been up to today?

- Well, I was drumming up customers

for Mr. Burnley's house, till Mr. Wilson had to take his nap.

- And I do mean with a drum.

- Well, I think in the interest of the good-neighbor policy,

we better put a stop to that.

You're no Gene Krupa, you know.

- So, you didn't think I could do it, aye Martha?

Well you'll just have to learn to have more faith in me.

- Just because the Scott's have agreed to come and look

at the Burnley house, doesn't mean they're going to buy it.

- You know, there was a reason why

I sold more women's wear than anyone else in this state,

and that reason what salesmanship.

- Yes, dear.

- Don't you worry.

When the Scott's hear my pitch, they'll buy.

[doorbell rings] - There they are now.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

- Dennis, what are you doing here?

- My dad sent me over to apologize

for all that drumming.

I'm no Gene Krupa, you know.

- Oh, do I know.

- If I can't use my drum, I don't know

how I'm going to sell Mr. Burnley's house for him.

- You can just forget about that, Dennis.

It's all been taken care of.

- Did somebody hear my drum?

- Everybody heard your drum.

But Mrs. Wilson found someone who's interested in the house.

- Really?

- Yes.

Dennis, what are you going to be doing this afternoon?

- I don't know.

Is there some game you want to play?

- No.

Here's $0.50, why don't you go to the movie at the arcade?

- Gee, thanks Mr. Wilson!

I'll go ask my mom.

- Yes, you do that, and sit through the picture twice.

- I always do.

I tell you, Martha that movie was a good idea.

If there's one thing that might wreck

my pitch to the Scott's, it's Dennis.

Now we're rid of him for at least 3 hours.

[doorbell rings]

- I guess I won't go Mr. Wilson.

- Well why not?

- Because I just remembered, when Tommy gets back

from the dentist, he won't have anybody to play with.

- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

- What are you counting, Mr. Wilson?

- Here's enough money so Tommy can go, too.

- Oh, was that what you were counting?

Thanks Mr. Wilson.

Bye.

- Well, that ends that.

Heh.

The next time that doorbell rings,

it'll be our future neighbors.

- Hi, Mr. Farris.

Come to fix Mr. Wilson's window again?

- I sure am, Dennis, how did you do it this time?

It wasn't me, It was good ole Mr. Wilson.

Me and him were right in the middle

of talking when he felt this draft, and slammed them.

- Well I'll go on and get to work on it.

- I'd help you, but I gotta go home and get permission

about a movie.

Ah hah.

- Well, Mr. Scott-- oh.

Oh, it's you Mr. Farris.

I thought you'd send one of your workmen,

I didn't want you to have to come over.

- Well, it's Saturday afternoon, you know?

My boys had the day off.

I understand you're to be blamed for this one, Mr. Wilson.

- Now that's something I'll argue all

the way to the Supreme Court.

Hey, Mom, is it OK if me and Tommy go to the-- boy,

do I want a piece of that cake.

- I'm sorry, Dennis.

This cake isn't for us.

- We're baking a cake in our very own kitchen for somebody else?

- That's right.

It's for the McClure's.

Boy, that looks like good cake.

How come we're giving it to the McClure's?

- Because tonight's their anniversary, and a lot of us

are going to get together, and give them a surprise party.

- Say, that sounds like fun.

I'll bring my bugle.

- Oh, I'm sorry Dennis, this is a grown up party.

- Well if everybody's going to a party except me,

and eat cake except me, can me and Tommy go to the movie

this afternoon?

- I suppose so.

Run on up and get my purse.

I don't need your purse.

Good ole Mr. Wilson is treating us.

- Well isn't that nice of him.

I hope you remembered to thank him.

- Sure I did, I thanked him right in the door.

Now I've got to go see if Tommy can go.

So long, Mom.

- Good bye, Dennis.

- Don't worry, Mom.

I'll have Tommy thank him too.

- Well, Mr. And Mrs. Scott.

I hope you didn't have any trouble finding the place.

- Oh, no.

I hope we're not too late.

- No, no not at all.

Martha, it's the Scotts.

The great Scotts.

Eh, oh well, I-- I've had my little joke.

Tommy!

Hey, Tommy! Everybody!

- Hi.

- Hi, Tommy.

Hi, Mrs. Anderson.

Hi, Dennis.

Guess what good ole Mr. Wilson did?

He gave money for me and Tommy to go to the movies.

- Oh, boy.

- Oh, I'm sorry Dennis.

I know it's Saturday, but Tommy went to the movies with us

just last night.

I think that's enough movies for this weekend.

- How about if we only sit through it once?

- I'm sorry, no.

- Well we gotta do something, we've

got all this money to spend.

- I'm sure you'll think of something.

How about me buying a bunch of stuff to eat

and giving Tommy a surprise party?

- That's a swell idea.

- Oh, no.

Not in this house.

I'm still finding traces of his birthday party.

- Say, that reminds me.

It's probably not good anymore, but I

hid a piece of birthday cake in your piano.

- Oh my goodness.

- Come on, Tommy.

Let's see if we can give Freddy a surprise party.

Come on!

- OK.

- Boy, I sure don't understand why

the mothers in this neighborhood don't

want us to come in and give a surprise party.

- We've gotta find some place to have it.

How about Eric Mandle's house?

- Yeah!

I had fun the last time I was there.

Me, and Bob, and Phil, and George

went roller skating in their bath tub.

Was Mrs. Mandle mad?

- Heck no.

She just came upstairs to see what the noise was.

- What'd she say?

- She didn't say anything.

She just started to laugh.

I never heard anybody laugh so hard in my life.

Finally, Mr. Mandle had to call the doctor.

- We don't want to take up your afternoon.

Should we take a look at the house?

- Oh, don't worry about the time.

The matinee is just starting.

- Matinee?

- Oh.

Well, that's an expression I use.

It-- it means there's lots of time.

Well, shall we take a look at it?

- Why not?

- Yes.

- I'll make some coffee while you're gone.

- Oh, fine.

Maybe we'll be having a little party

to welcome our new neighbors.

Come on in, you guys.

- No, Dennis, I'm washing the floor.

- OK.

Mom says to wait out there.

Hey mom--

- Dennis!

- How'd you like all of us to come in the front door

and give you something?

- Dennis Mitchell, have you been in Mr. Wilson's flowers again?

Heck no, Mom. - Oh.

Well see that you don't.

Mr. Wilson is very unhappy today.

- Just on account of those flowers I picked?

- Well, not only that.

He's also unhappy because he wasn't

invited to the McClure's surprise party.

- Really?

Boy, am I glad I came in to see you.

See you later, Mom.

- Well, how did you like it?

- I think it's a wonderful house. Don't you, Andrew?

- Well, that depends.

How much is he asking for the house?

- $20,000, but I'll bet he'll come down to $19.5.

- Giving a surprise party to Mr. Wilson was a swell idea.

- Yeah.

I wish I'd have thought of it before the ice

cream got so soft.

I did good ole Mr. Wilson likes his ice cream crisp.

- Well, come on, let's go.

- First maybe I'd better make sure we're welcome.

You kids wait here, and if it's OK I'll yell at ya.

- There's a lot of storage room in the attic, too.

I always liked that.

- It gives her a place to keep her dress maker's form that she

got the first year we were married.

Tell me, are the taxes high in this area?

- Oh, no.

They're very low.

That's why I moved here when I retired,

when the streets and sewers are all in.

- Hey, that's an advantage of moving

into an area that's already built up.

You miss all the special assistance.

- And I certainly like the neighborhood.

It's so quiet.

- Quiet's very important to Mr. Scott.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

Can I talk to you for a minute, please Mr. Wilson?

- What a cute little boy.

- Cute and quiet.

- This is Mr. and Mrs. Scott, Dennis.

- How do you do, Mr. and Mrs. Scott?

- My, doesn't he have nice manners?

- Usually I shake hands, but they're

a little bit full of chocolate ice cream.

- Oh, well Dennis, you come and sit with me

and be nice and quiet.

Oh!

- Did I put my knee in your stomach, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes, you did.

Yes, but it's all right.

He's a nice, quiet little boy.

- Am I welcome?

- Oh, yes Dennis, you're welcome.

- Excuse me for a minute, please.

- I'm welcome!

- What was that all about, Dennis?

- You'll see. - Oomph.

- Did I do it again, Mr. Wilson?

- Uh, yes you did Dennis.

Eh, why did you call out the window?

- Surprise!

- Thank you.

- Oh, I'm just awfully sorry about that ice

cream in your hat, Mr. Scott.

- Oh, forget it.

- There's still a little in your hair, dear.

- Thank you, dear.

- Well eh, now about the house, should I

have Mr. Burnley get in touch with you?

- I don't think so, Mr. Wilson.

- It's a lovely house, but--

- We don't think so.

- But if you like it, why-- why not?

- As you know, Mr. Wilson, we like a lot of quiet.

- And while it's a great tribute to you the way

these youngsters love you-- uh, giving you this surprise party

and all-- I don't think that we are quite up to all

their youthful energy and excitement.

- But thanks for showing us through.

Good bye.

- Good bye.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson?

Guess what?

I sold Mr. Burnley's house for him.

- What's that?

- The man that owns the window fixing company.

- Mr. Farris? Sure.

After he was here yesterday, he went right to Mr. Burnley

and bought it.

- Are you sure?

Here's the $0.05 commission.

You wanna go share a soda with me?

- No thank you.

I wonder if he has any kids?

I asked him and he said three and one on the way.

- Oh, no.

And the one on the way is gonna be two of them.

- I'm surrounded.

- I'm sure glad he's going to be living next door to you.

'Cause you like kids and we like you.

- Oh!

Hey, Mr. Wilson, you broke your rake.

Why'd you break your rake, Mr. Wilson?

Was it too long, Mr. Wilson?

Huh, Mr. Wilson?

You know what Mr. Wilson?

You look funny. - Oh!

[music playing]