Original subtitles

- Hey, Mom, you got the sprinklers on,

can I run through 'em?

- All right, dear.

Not with your clothes on.

- OK.

- Dennis!

[theme music] - Dennis?

Dennis?

- Hello, Margret?

- Hello, Mrs. Mitchell.

Is Dennis home?

- Well, he must be over at Tommy's, they

were out here playing a minute ago.

- We were playing house a little while ago.

But Dennis deserted me and all the babies.

- All those mouths to feed.

How are they?

- They're all teething.

Well, bye, Mrs. Mitchell.

- Good bye, Margaret.

- There she goes, Tommy.

- Yeah.

Dumb old Margaret.

- Oh, she's OK.

She can't help if she's a girl.

- Can I use your bathroom?

- Sure, come on.

Hey Mom, I'm home!

- So I hear.

- He's polite, Mom.

He's just in a hurry.

[door closes]

- OK.

Do you know who was just here?

- Sure, it was Margaret.

I was hiding in the bushes.

- ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Why were you doing that?

- 'Cause girls are no fun.

They can't play catch, 'cause they can't throw.

You can't hit them because they're a girl.

The first thing you know, you end up playing house.

- True, true.

- No TV for you tonight. [phone rings]

- I'll get it.

- I'm not complaining.

I became interested in playing house

when you stopped making mud pies,

and began making apple pies.

- Guess what we got out there on the phone?

A long distance call for you.

- Long distance?

Hello? Daddy?

- Grandpa?

- How are you?

Where are you calling from?

- I'm at home.

But if you can put me up for a few days,

I'll come for a visit.

- Of course we can put you up.

Grandpa's coming to see us.

- He is?

- Great, when?

- When are you coming, Daddy?

- I thought I could start early tomorrow morning,

should be there by noon.

I can hardly wait to see Dennis.

- Oh, he's anxious to see you, too.

- Hurry honey, it's long distance.

- Oh, Daddy?

This is long distance, and you don't

want to run a big bill, so.

Hmm? Oh, all right.

He wants to talk to you.

- Oh.

Hello, Dad, how are you?

Good.

Been working on any new inventions?

Not fooling?

He's invented a new carburetor.

- Really?

What's a carburetor? - Dear?

It's long distance.

- Oh.

Well, it's good talking to you, Dad.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Oh, sure.

Just a second.

He wants to say hello to Dennis.

- Hi, Grandpa.

What's a carburetor?

Oh.

What's combustion mean?

Oh, sure I know what burning means.

That's what Mom did to Dad's new shirt

yesterday when she was ironing.

- Alice? - I'm sorry.

It happened when I was trying to get

Dennis' foot out of your ukulele.

- What's his foot doing in my-- never mind,

I don't want to know. - Hey, Grandpa?

Do you still have all that hair in your ears?

- Dennis!

When you get down here, can we show Joey?

I told him about it, but he wouldn't believe me.

- Dennis, this is long distance. - Should I talk louder?

- No, shorter.

- You still snore? - Dennis!

- What's your favorite TV show?

Mine, too.

It was swell last night.

All about that mysterious stranger.

- Dennis, hurry up.

- Hey, Grandpa?

Want to hurry up and say hello to Tommy?

- Please.

Well, Dad, if we don't stop talking,

you won't be able to afford the trip, so.

- Wait a minute.

I want to make one more point.

This trip I don't want you to do any of your matchmaking.

Oh, no?

Well how about that woody you brought around?

What was her name?

Miss Elkins.

She about drove me crazy.

- Well, I'll admit she was an unfortunate choice.

All right, Daddy.

I promise, no more matchmaking.

Good bye.

See you tomorrow.

Well, I've got just about a million things

to do to get ready.

- What can I do?

- Let's see.

You'd be a big help if you'd clean the front walk.

- OK.

Why don't I vacuum it?

- Oh, no.

Use the broom.

- OK.

Come on, Tommy.

We want this walk to be real clean for good ole Grandpa,

Tommy. What shall I do with it?

Watch me now, I'm sweeping grass.

Now I'm sweeping leaves.

You know what my Grandpa can do with his nose?

He can balance a broom on it.

Hey, look Tommy.

Here comes a mysterious stranger.

- That's just Mr. Dorfman, the mailman.

- Can't you pretend?

- Sure I can pretend.

- OK, who's coming?

- A mysterious stranger.

- That's right.

And he's wearing a Mr. Dorfman's disguise.

- Morning, boys.

- Morning.

- Morning mysterious stranger.

- Oh, I'm mysterious, all right.

- Good ole Mr. Dorfman wants to play the game with us.

- What do we do now?

- Don't you watch TV?

When a mysterious stranger comes along, you follow him.

- You boys trying to play some kind of trick on me?

- Heck no.

We're just-- Are you OK, Mr. Dorfman?

Do you know what happened?

You tripped over my wagon.

- I know I tripped over your wagon.

- It's because you were walking backwards

and couldn't see where you were going.

- I know that.

- Come on, Tommy.

- Let's help good ole Mr. Dorfman up.

Did you decide not to get up?

- I can't get up, you're standing in my mail sack.

- Excuse me, Mr. Dorfman.

- Look, fellows.

Boys, I'm not a mysterious stranger.

Do you understand?

- Sure, Mr. Dorfman.

- Guess he doesn't want to play our mysterious stranger game.

- Sure he does.

He just gets nervous when people stand in his mail pouch.

- Hey, look at Mr. Dorfman.

- You see?

Good ole Mr. Dorfman wants to play some more.

See how mysterious he's acting?

Come on.

What can we play now, Mr. Dorfman, huh? -Shh!

I'm hiding from Miss Cathcart.

- Why are you hiding from Miss Cathcart?

- Well if you were a bachelor my age, you'd understand.

- I'm a bachelor. - Yeah.

But you're not my age.

- I see you, Mr. Dorfman.

- Did Miss Cathcart win again, Mr. Dorfman?

- Not yet, not yet.

- Why, Mr. Dorfman.

Anybody would think you were hiding.

- I wasn't really, Miss Cathcart.

- Then why did you tell us that you were--

- Now you come right in the house.

I have a cup of tea waiting.

- Yeah, but Miss Cathcart, I have to deliver the mail.

- Oh, a cup of tea will only take a minute.

I'll sing a nice, rousing song to speed you on your way.

- She has a swell voice, Mr. Dorfman.

This morning when she sang for the milkman,

he speeded up so much that he was practically

running when he left her place.

- Oh.

Oh Dad, it's so good to see you again.

- I'll say.

I've been up waiting since pretty early.

- Since 5:30 this morning, to be exact.

- You know why I was up so early?

- Why?

- Because I was worrying about a question I want to ask you.

Can I ask it?

- Shoot.

- Did you bring me anything?

- Dennis!

- What's the matter?

- Young man, you're talking out of turn.

- Who's turn is it?

- Dennis, if Grandpa's brought you anything,

he'll tell you about it.

- Well, I guess it's your turn.

- You bet it is, and I did bring you something.

And it's in my suitcase. - Swell.

Why don't me and you go up and unpack?

- Good idea.

- I'll carry it up for ya.

- Thank you very much.

- You know what I learned to do last week?

- What?

- When I'm pouring milk in my glass, I learned when to stop.

- Haha.

- You know, Henry, Father is so young and vital.

Don't you think he should remarry?

- Oh, leave him alone, honey.

- Well I could Introduce him to someone nice.

- Like Miss Elkins?

She made his last visit miserable.

- You hear it?

- Boy, that's the sea all right.

I think there's a storm.

- Let me listen.

It sounds like a hurricane.

Oh, horse rats.

- What's the matter?

- A wave splashed in my ear.

- Let me listen.

I hear pirates singing.

- Oh, probably to keep their spirits up

during the hurricane.

- Yeah, I can hear 'em too.

15 men on a dead man's chest.

- Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.

- Hello in there?

- Yeah, they heard you.

One of them said, "Shiver my timbers, there's Dennis."

- I guess this is just about the swellest present anybody ever

gave me.

Say, why don't me and you walk around the block

and show it to everybody?

- I'm a bit tired after my trip, I'd like to take a nap first.

You know, Dennis, you slow down a little when you reach my age.

- Would you like to be speeded up?

- I sure would.

- I know somebody that can do it.

She sings to people.

- Well Dennis, if it's a friend of yours, I'd like to meet her.

- I'll bet she'd like to meet you too.

MISS CATHCART (OFFSCREEN): [singing]

MISS CATHCART (OFFSCREEN): Oh. [clears throat]

- Ah, I was expecting the laundry man.

So, Dennis, how are you today?

- Fine.

I've brought you my shell to listen to.

- I'll listen to it for just a minute.

Pretty busy vocalizing.

Oh, that's the sea, isn't it?

Oh, that's nice.

- My Grandpa brought it to me.

- Oh.

Is he visiting you?

- He sure is.

- Well, eh hem.

Is your Grandmother with him?

- He doesn't have one.

- Why don't you come in and have a cookie

while we have a little chat.

- OK.

Will you let me see you spin?

- Spin? - Sure.

I heard my Dad say you're a spinster.

Thank you.

- Hello, Margaret.

- Hello Mrs. Mitchell, is Dennis home?

- No, I'm sorry, he isn't.

- The trouble with playing house alone,

is that there's no husband.

- I know.

- The only time Dennis will play house

with me is if he gets to be a cowboy that never comes home.

Is his grandfather here yet?

- Yes he is.

He just came down from his nap.

- Gee, has Dennis been telling me some stories about him.

Can I meet him?

- Of course you can.

Come in.

- Wait'll I get my dolls.

- Daddy, I'd like you to meet a very nice young lady.

- Oh, Alice.

You promised, no matchmaking.

- Oh-- Daddy, this is Margaret Wade, a friend of Dennis'.

- Oh, how do you do, Margaret.

I'm always glad to meet any friend of Dennis'.

- So are we friends?

- Sure we are Miss Cathcart.

- And are you going to introduce your friend

to your grandfather?

- Sure.

Are you going to sing for him?

- Well of course I am.

Now, why don't you go over and get him right away, eh?

- I'll just take a cookie with me,

in case I meet some poor kid that's hungry.

OK, Miss Cathcart?

- I enjoyed meeting you and your babies, Margaret.

Will you come back to see me sometime?

- I will if my babies are well.

- Ah, have they been sick?

- It's been just awful.

Yesterday they were all teething.

And today they've all got the cooh.

- Oh.

What are you doing for them?

- I've rubbed their chest with Liniment.

Smell. [sniffs] [coughs]

- You sure did.

- Well bye. - Bye.

- Hi Grandpa.

You up from your nap?

- I sure am.

I've been waiting for ya.

Say, you missed a friend of yours, little Margaret.

- I know it.

I saw her bug you out in front.

That's why I came in the back way.

Hey, Grandpa?

You wanna meet another friend of mine, the one that sings?

- I sure do.

Wait till I get my jacket.

I'm looking forward to it.

- So is she, boy.

She's even going to change her dress.

- Aren't you afraid your friend will

want to play house with you?

- Heck no.

Not this one.

She just sings and gives me cookies.

- What a surprise.

- This is my Grandpa.

- How do you do?

I'm Charlie Perkins.

- I'm so glad to meet you.

I'm Esther Cathcart, won't you come in?

- Thanks.

- Boy.

You put on some perfume, didn't ya?

- Just a touch.

I think a woman has an obligation

to do the little things that enhance her femininity.

- Did you spill any?

It's awful strong.

- Dennis, shh.

- Oh, that's all right.

Now why don't you sit down over here?

- Thank you. - There.

- You have a very nice place here.

- Well it's my little nest, and I try to make it cosy.

- Any special place you want me to sit?

- Oh, oh Dennis.

Well perhaps you'd like to go out and play?

- No, I think I'd rather stay with my Grandpa.

- Well, wouldn't you like to sit over there?

- No, I think I'd rather sit on my Grandpa.

- Why don't we have some refreshment while we chat.

- Swell!

- For you I have a piece of candy.

- I thought your friend lived here.

- She does.

- Good boy, good boy.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

It's Elderberry wine.

- Thank you.

- I made it myself. - It's delicious.

- Oh, I'm so glad you like it.

Course I suppose I really should give credit to my mother.

You know, she believed that a girl's place was in the home,

making her husband happy.

She prepared me very carefully for marriage.

- That's nice.

Oh, I'm looking forward to meeting Dennis' little friend.

- What little friend?

- The little girl, your daughter.

- Well, I have no daughter.

And I'm not married.

- But who sings?

- She does.

And she's gonna do it for you.

- That is, if you'd like to hear me.

- Oh, yes. Of course.

- My first selection will be, "Love's Old Sweet Song."

Just a song at twilight, When the lights are low.

- Isn't she swell?

- Softly come and go.

Though the heart be weary, sad the day and long.

Still to us at twilight comes Love's old song.

Comes Love's old sweet song.

- Hours of it, Henry.

Two whole hours.

She's not a singer, she's an air raid siren.

It must have been murder.

- Well, Dennis was at least an accomplice.

Boy, what he got me into.

- Such good intentions, I don't know how he always

manages to get such bad results.

- Well, I didn't want to hurt his feelings about,

"good ole Miss Cathcart."

So as far as he knows I enjoyed myself.

- Well it's over now, and Alice isn't

going to do any matchmaking, so you

can just relax and enjoy yourself.

- Hey, Mrs. Elkins wait a minute.

I want to show you something.

- Hello, Dennis.

How are ya?

- Swell.

I've been riding around the neighborhood

letting people listen to my shell.

- Well that was very nice of you.

- I know it.

I even let a dog that was a total stranger listen to it.

- Good.

- You wanna listen?

- Well, of course I do.

Oh, it's the ocean, isn't it?

Did you get any in your ear?

- Of course not.

Where did you get the shell?

- From my Grandpa.

- Ah.

He sent it to you?

- No, he brought it to me.

- He's here?

- Sure, I got him right in my house.

- I wish I had him in mine.

- But Daddy, just because Dennis saw Mrs. Elkins out front

doesn't mean she's going to bother you.

- I hope not.

- She's an intelligent woman, Dad.

She knows if you were interested you'd be in touch with her.

- [phone rings]

- I'll get it.

Hello?

Sure, just a minute.

Hey, Grandpa, guess what we've got out there on the phone?

Good ole Mrs. Elkins for you.

- Too intelligent, huh?

- Don't blame me if you have an irresistible personality.

- Very funny.

- Daddy, maybe she just wants to say hello.

- If that's all she wants to say, she's a changed woman.

Hello, Mrs. Elkins.

Oh, I expect I'm just not much of a letter writer.

- You write swell letters to us.

- What's that?

No I am afraid I can't make it tonight, Mrs. Elkins.

Oh no, it's not that.

You're a fine cook. DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): I'll say.

- She's on the prowl again.

- No, she is not.

- But she asked him for dinner.

- Well if she does, it's probably just because she's very polite,

and wants to be nice to somebody from out of town.

- I'm afraid I'm going to be busy for dinner tomorrow night, too,

Mrs. Elkins. - Polite, huh?

CHARLIE (OFFSCREEN): Oh, it's not that.

- Polite like a bulldozer.

- I expect I'll be pretty well tied up

for the rest of my visit.

- If she's making cookies I could come.

- Shh.

Pardon me?

Well, as a matter of fact, there is someone else.

I spent most of the afternoon at her house.

She's a singer.

Dennis introduced me, and she made an immediate impression.

I never met anyone quite like her.

Thank you very much, Mrs. Elkins.

I wish only the best for you, too.

Good bye, Mrs. Elkins.

- Oh.

- Hey, Mrs. Cathcart, guess what Grandpa said about you.

- He never met anybody quite like me, you say?

- That's what he said.

- And everybody said I was wasting my time

taking those singing lessons.

- I'm home.

And look who I've got with me.

Good ole Mrs. Cathcart.

Grandpa?

Where are you?

- Dennis, don't shout.

Hello, Mrs. Cathcart.

- Hello, Mrs. Mitchell.

- Where's Grandpa?

I thought he was in here.

Henry, is Daddy upstairs?

- I haven't seen him. Hello, Mrs. Cathcart.

- Hello, Mr. Mitchell.

Well if you don't mind, I'll just sit and wait.

MARGARET (OFF SCREEN): Dennis Oh Dennis.

- Oh, no.

MARGARET (OFF SCREEN): Oh Dennis.

- Whoa.

What are you doing in here?

- Shh.

[music playing]