Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) There's a

light shining bright above you.

The night breezes seem to whisper, I love

you.

Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream, a

little dream of me.

Say nighty-night and kiss me Just hold

me tight and tell me you'll miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me Sweet dreams

till sunbeams find you Sweet dreams that leave

all worries behind you But in your dreams

I'll ever keep you Dream a little dream

of me

Where is she?

She's in her studio.

She's working.

Why has she come back?

It's crap.

It's crap.

Could you just turn that down a bit,

please?

What?

I'm trying to concentrate on a very delicate

operation here.

Lenders don't have volume control.

Well, that's a pathetic excuse.

Just turn it down anyway.

Dad?

Yeah?

I did some research last night.

Yes?

On golden doodles.

Oh, God.

And they don't shed.

They're hypoallergenic.

No, no.

They're really, really, really cute.

Listen, Penn.

We're not having...

Tell him.

Tell him.

It's the dog.

But why, Dad?

You can't have a dog.

Because, as I've said before, all dogs make

my throat close up.

So no air gets to my lungs, which

makes me die.

So it's undesirable.

Think of another pet.

You know, you could have a cat or

a hamster.

I don't know what kids have these days.

Have a vampire bat.

Is that a promise?

Yes, that is a promise.

Like the promise of Road Trip 2?

Just you and me?

That's a low blow.

That will happen.

Will it?

It will happen.

Shit, my violin!

Help me, please.

What is going on?

I don't know why.

I'm suddenly six years old.

Oh, God.

All right.

Why the tie, hmm?

Not another funeral.

It's the turd's idea.

And no, not all my patients die anyway.

Oh.

Why are you so dressed up?

What's his name?

Lady's T.

Planning a fundraiser.

Oh, a school auction.

Did I mention I'm not going?

Did I mention you are?

I think you'll find I'm not, my love.

Isn't it enough we give them tons of

money anyway?

We actually don't give them money.

Well, your dad does, which is very sweet.

Which reminds me, we have dinner with him

next Thursday.

Right, so I have Riordan and your dad

in the same week.

I'm just the luckiest girl in New York.

Don't you like Riordan?

Would you like Riordan?

You like your school?

Yeah.

Then I love it.

Go on, kiss your mom.

We have to go.

No, I'm not kissing you.

You do it.

I need to clean this up.

I'm not doing this every single morning.

No, I want to kiss you.

I like this.

No.

Right.

Henry.

What?

Henry, no more smoothies.

You never, ever clean up.

All right, here's a question, and don't lie.

Did you, in fact, practice that thing at

all this week?

Because I heard nothing.

No, I practice.

Really?

Yeah, I swear.

Do you know, he doesn't even think I'm

any good, Mr. Rosenbaum.

He actually said that, did he?

No, it's not that he says it.

It's just, he used to say a lot

more good stuff.

I mean, sometimes, with the looks he gives

me, I think he wants me to quit.

Well, is it possible that, as your mom

might say, you're actually projecting that sentiment?

Because somewhere deep down in the bowels of

your teenage psyche, you actually want to give

it up.

I don't want to give up.

I love fire.

Okay, well, that's great, then.

You know, Rosenbaum, he's an unhappy man.

It is never a good idea to take

measure of ourselves through the eyes of the

joyless.

Well, you can be joyless.

Beg your pardon?

Yeah, you can be joyless when you're stressed.

Do I seem stressed a lot?

Some.

Lately.

Oh.

Brilliant.

Well, now I'm stressed about being stressed.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Look, you don't play your violin for Rosenbaum,

anyway.

You owe him your respect and your hard

work, but in the end, your relationship with

song is between you and your music.

Got it.

Great, and you're brilliant, okay?

So fuck Rosenbaum.

I'm telling Mom you said that.

Take your violin and shove it up his

Rosenbaum cheeks, okay?

Dad.

Morning.

Morning.

Rebecca Harkness has arrived way too early.

Great.

It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Huh.

One minute he's attentive, loving, the next minute

he's borderline abusive.

I got both swings last night, the full

pendulum, and fucking forbid I call him bipolar.

I mean fucking forbid.

So you're back to thinking that he's, um,

that he's bipolar.

I don't know, the mood swings.

What do you think?

Well, I don't know him.

I only know you.

Meaning?

Do not give me that look.

This is your third marriage, isn't it?

So what, we're keeping score?

No, no, I'm just...

I'm not doing that.

Okay, this is going somewhere, and I'm not

exactly sure where, other than a direction not

in my favor, so just say it.

Say it!

I pay you, say it.

Rebecca.

I have met few people more discriminating than

you.

You read a hundred Yelp reviews before choosing

someone to install your carpet.

Am I right?

You try on 20 pairs of shoes before

making a choice.

You do background checks on your hair colorist,

you did a background check on me, no

doubt.

You've had everything, everything, which is fine, I

mean, that's appropriate.

But?

But an attractive man comes along and shows

an interest in you, and judgment be gone.

No, that is not what is happening.

I mean, the day that you met Kevin,

you floated into this office.

It was an appointment that was made to

deal with the anguish of husband number two,

only to declare that you'd met husband number

three.

So I'm saying, maybe it's possible that you're

less of a victim of Kevin's moods than

you are of your own.

Excuse me, this is my fault?

No.

It is, you're blaming me.

I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying there's

a particular type of person that you want

to be with, and maybe you're a little

too quick to see that person in the

men that you meet, instead of seeing what's

actually there.

Oh, well, I'll probably never see her again,

because they hire you to give them the

hard truths, and then they fire you for

delivering them.

Well, just up your prices.

The more exclusive you seem, the more she'll

come banging.

Wow.

I have some bad news.

The, um, the dress code for the fundraiser

is Fancy Glam.

I'm not wearing a tux.

Listen, this is for Henry's school.

If I can tough out the ladies' tee,

you can stomach one fundraiser for Henry.

I will do it, but not for Henry's

school.

I will do it for you, because you're

hot.

Anyway, I'm here, okay?

Later, smartass.

Yeah, later, bye.

They're waiting for you upstairs.

Sorry I'm late.

No problem.

I have a new mom.

Oh.

A scholarship.

She brought her infant.

She's changing in the bathroom.

You look fabulous.

Hi, Grace.

Hi.

Is she, uh, on the committee?

No.

Wants to be an involved parent.

Hi.

Hi.

Sorry.

Hey, thanks.

Did any of you even know that she

was coming?

I mean, I'm usually the first one to

learn of anything.

People can't wait to tell me stuff.

Because you're so quick to disapprove.

Well, exactly.

All right, we should get going.

I'm a little bit nervous.

Is the guy from seventh?

No, he dropped out.

We'll be fine.

I've done this before.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Grace.

Frazier.

Elena Alves.

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Elena has a boy in fourth grade.

You said his name was Miguel?

Yeah, yeah.

Your baby's gorgeous.

Thank you.

Hello, boy or girl?

Teresa.

Oh, Teresa.

I love your eyelashes.

OK, come on, folks.

The auction's tomorrow.

Thank you so much for letting me join.

Are you kidding?

We're happy to get all the help we

can.

That you even have the time with two

kids.

I have twins.

So regret it.

Jolene.

I mean, there's so much work, right?

OK, let's rank the items.

We'll start with the least expensive, work our

way up to the big tickets.

There's a lot of stuff here.

Well, we have over 200 people confirmed coming.

That's a record.

Thanks to the Spencers lending us their home.

I did a walkthrough yesterday.

Oh, my god.

Did you see the David Hockneys?

Two of them on facing walls in the

dining room.

And what about Sookie's closet?

Oh, I'll get there.

Maybe Monday night with any luck?

Yes.

OK, let's do this.

OK.

We got four separate stays in the Hamptons.

A pair in Vail and Aspen.

A cooking lesson at Tribeca for eight.

You never know how much those go for.

Demself facelift.

Does anybody really believe in those?

Kathy said it got one.

Did not work.

We have a bunch of consults, a college

admissions counselor, a preschool admissions counselor, a genealogist

that'll come to your house.

That could actually go.

I don't see any artists.

Where are the artists?

You're saying we can't scratch up one lousy

playwright in all of New York City?

Grace, maybe we could donate a third piece

of shit.

I am not doing that.

That is not happening.

Why not?

Do I hear $500 on saving your marriage?

500, and I will throw in my husband.

Grace, you know what would be awesome?

I think Jonathan would be a huge guest.

You want to auction Jonathan?

Well...

Yes!

I'm putting him up.

Grace's husband is a doctor.

He was featured in New York Magazine.

He's an oncologist, Sally, who's gonna bid on

cancer.

A private after-hour tour at the Guggenheim.

They're doing the Salon de la Rose, quoi.

I was just there on Tuesday for the

Chagall exhibit.

I swear, I actually felt lightheaded.

I don't really get Chagall.

You mean who doesn't get Chagall?

Me.

One minute he's a modernist, and then it's

stained glass.

Guys all over the place.

If he weren't alive today...

Hey, hold on.

Tell me that wasn't odd, my God.

She was just feeding her child.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

There was definitely something more going on here.

Excuse me.

Like what?

Like she was...

Point!

Point your foot!

Like she was being passive-aggressive about it.

You didn't get that?

No.

You know, I've seen her at the school

before.

Sitting across the street on one of those

benches.

After she drops her son off, she just

sits there.

With the baby?

Well, now with the baby.

Before, when she was pregnant, she wouldn't even

be reading a book.

I feel like telling her, you live in

New York.

It is a crime not to be frantically

busy.

Who just sits around quietly?

What an unfathomable state of being.

Albeit with...

spectacular breasts.

You're too bad.

Oh, my God, they were beautiful.

Come on, come on, come on, come on,

come on.

Don't make a joke.

Don't make a joke.

Stop, stop, stop.

It was hostile.

It just was.

But I don't blame her.

I mean, we were talking about art.

We were talking about money.

It was pretty vulgar.

And she was just trying to say, hey,

here I am.

I'm a real, real woman.

I'm a real mom.

I'm struggling, and...

I don't know.

Sometimes I think we should move out of

the city.

Sed, the most New York person I've ever

met in my life.

No, but don't you worry sometimes that you're

raising your son in a bubble?

I thought that was the whole essence of

modern parenting, isn't it?

Keep them protected from reality for as long

as possible so that when they finally emerge,

they can't cope and end up self-harming.

I thought we were doing really well at

that.

Yeah.

Wow.

What about Schenectady, huh?

I've heard live things about Schenectady.

It sounds horrible, even phonetically.

So is this a serious conversation?

Yeah.

Yep.

Manhattan is a lonely place.

I mean, when you think about it, we

don't have a lot of close friends.

Well, it's only because we hate everyone.

You hate everyone.

I don't.

I wouldn't call us isolated.

Our days are stuffed with people and their

problems.

I mean, we're right up close with them

at their most vulnerable.

It's not a conventional social life, but in

terms of meaningful human interaction, I would say

we did very well.

I don't like you being lonely.

Oh.

You lonely in there?

Would you like some company?

Would you like to be washed?

Grace?

Dr. Fraser with his magic hands.

God.

Shall I get my rubber gloves?

Come on.

I'm coming, Grace.

Grace?

Hi.

Elena.

You met at the fundraiser, didn't you?

Yes, yes, of course.

How are you?

I'm...

I'm well.

Good.

Thank you so much for making me feel

so welcome.

Like the other women.

I don't know, I felt like an intruder.

But you made me feel at home, so...

Thank you.

Well, I know that everybody is very happy

to have you back.

We need all the help we can get.

How can I help?

Because nobody actually made me do anything.

I suppose because most of the work was

already done and you were occupied with your

sweet baby.

But I want to be a part of

it.

At school.

I really do.

I know.

I really do.

Naked.

I'm all for women being comfortable with their

bodies, but it was weird.

Good weird?

Were you a little bit aroused?

No.

Oh, Christ, we're nearly there.

The sooner we can get out of bed.

Look, I've got that early flight to Cleveland.

When do you get back?

Possibly tomorrow night, if I can get away.

But you know, I do hate to forfeit

my high reward points.

That's how you get the complimentary breakfast, Grace.

Okay, here we are.

Slump, dread, sob, despair.

Look at me.

Mmm.

I'm very proud of my work.

Oh, Christ, they're coming.

Sorry, sorry, that's it.

Couldn't face it.

Profound and existential dread.

Oh, no.

Champagne?

Thank you.

Thank God.

Thank you.

I love you very much.

I thought there was going to be some

glam.

I didn't think this much.

Oh.

Can we hide?

Let's go and pretend to be interested in

those.

Help me.

No, we're stuck here for a bit.

We have to have cocktails with the headmaster

first.

Come on.

Oh, Christ.

Robert.

Grace.

Jonathan.

Hey.

Oh, thank you both so much for coming.

There you are.

Hello.

Dad.

Franklin.

Such an honor and a privilege, sir.

You left home thrilled.

Yes, I did.

Well, thank you for coming.

I'm not coming, I'm going.

Really, now?

I've been on the silent auction.

I have to win one of Henry Ford's

original dipsticks.

I would like to be long gone before

that happens.

Jonathan.

Franklin.

You're looking well.

I am?

Very surprising.

Thank you.

Dinner Thursday?

Absolutely.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, darling.

Hi.

Jonathan.

Franklin.

You're not going to fucking believe this.

What?

They're not even here.

Who?

The censors.

Oh.

What?

You don't think that's rude?

We could take it as rude, or it

could be, well, we're going to be out

of town, happy to let you use our

palace.

Can't you ever just be not nice?

Oh, she can.

I promise.

You hear those folks didn't show.

It's a fabulous turnout.

I was worried that people wouldn't show, and

it seems that absolutely everybody is here so

we can relax.

There she is.

Oh, our lactator in chief.

She looks a bit uncomfortable.

That's Lola I was telling you about.

Oh, that's her?

Mm-hmm.

I want those boobs.

Yeah, we should go talk to her.

She must be feeling so awkward.

Actually, she seems okay.

Maybe better than okay.

Am I missing something?

Look at the men.

Like Pavlov's dogs.

Grace, I think she might be looking at

you.

Really?

Is she?

Uh, yeah, I think she is.

Well, here you all are.

I think they'd like to get started.

Start herding the people.

Here we go.

Come on.

Is that enough?

We've put in an appearance?

Can we go?

Hey, I'll make it up to you later.

Make it up to me now.

Let's find a room.

They must have a few.

You're so bad.

Come on.

In Sookie's closet.

In Sookie's clothes.

Both of us.

Stop.

Make an Englishman happy.

Come on.

You know what I love about this?

What?

You could never tell they were rich.

It's all so classy and understated.

Hi, you're ready to start.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

I'm Sally Mayberry, head of the auction committee

for our wonderful Reardon School.

Positively fabulous afternoon in store for you.

Now, some of you might be thinking, don't

I already pay enough in tuition?

Damn right.

Yes, of course you do.

Yes, I feel the same way.

But it is our responsibility to make sure

that Reardon can accept the students it wants

to accept and that those students are able

to attend despite their financial circumstances, ensuring that

the name Reardon is always synonymous with diversity.

We get to make sure that our teachers

are so well paid that we do not

lose them to other schools.

We love our teachers at Reardon.

Just not enough to invite them to the

parties.

Okay, now, Diane Porter is going to start

the party.

Let's go.

Before we turn to our scheduled items for

bid, observe.

This may look like an ordinary glass of

tap water, but it is much more than

that.

This is very special water that will serve

to prime the pipes to your generously deep

pockets.

What is the value, you may ask, of

an ordinary glass of tap water?

That depends.

What is the value of your children's education?

The value of his or her teachers?

The opportunity of the less fortunate to enjoy

the privilege of your offspring?

Who will bid $1,000 for this glass

of water?

Who is going to stand up and clang

that bell?

1,000!

1,000!

Ellen, I'm sorry.

I...

Sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

Because sometimes I just feel...

overwhelmed.

And lost.

Do you ever feel that?

If you ever want to talk...

for free...

I apologize.

I didn't mean it to sound like that.

But if you do ever want to talk...

You're so kind.

Thank you.

And please don't be intimidated.

The parents are weird and can be a

little, um...

Yeah.

But...

most of them are very kind.

They are nice people, kind people.

But you are the most kind.

It's true.

I feel it.

All right, our next item.

Mixed tickets.

Rub elbows with Spike Lee.

Pitch him your idea for a new movie.

Eddie, everybody at 1,500.

1,500 right here.

2,000 in the front.

2,500 right here.

3,000.

3,000 over here.

35.

4,000 near the piano.

$6,000.

Hi.

I'm going home.

I forgot to bump, and it's gonna be

uncomfortable.

I have a car.

My driver could take you if you want.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Please.

I'm in Harlem.

So it'll be faster to take the subway.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I'm sure.

Thank you.

For your kindness.

Right here.

80.

80,000 in the front.

90.

90,000.

If we reach 100,000, we'll donate a

C-class to a child in need.

So, what was all that?

What's going on with you and the nudist?

She was upset.

I mean, she just, um...

I suggested she use our car, but she

didn't want to.

You are a very nice person.

No.

Thank you.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Well, you're not gonna be happy.

Why?

I just got paged.

Mm-hmm.

Shelby McGibbon's lungs just filled up with fluid.

Go.

You want to come?

Legitimate excuse to duck out early.

The driver could drop me at the hospital.

No, I can't.

I'm on the committee.

Go.

Go, go.

Really?

Take the driver all over.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'll call.

Where's he going?

Emergency.

One of his patients.

Honestly.

Staring down cancer every day with children, maintaining

a sense of humor all the while?

How does he do it?

I wonder myself.