Original subtitles

That person will receive God's punishment!

Brother. You're here.

I found his name.

Osaki Kimio. Seems to be a bank official in Tokyo.

I'm sleepy. Thank you.

All bullshit. Thank you very much.

Damn job. Thank you very much.

What's going on here?

We didn't find any testament.

The banisters of the upper staircase seem to have rusted long ago.

Brother. The banisters of...

I heard it.

Who couldn't hear it with that volume?

The banisters were rusted.

It must be an accident.

Probably just slipped and fell.

But we still have to investigate.

Hey.

What's wrong with it?

Go and check where he bought this tie.

Could the tie be a clue?

I want it so much...

...will receive God's punishment!

Are you all right?

You don't have...

It's still wet.

It's because I'm a man.

Well... Who are you?

What are you doing?

I'm watching a woman without a cute smile,

trying so hard to practice how.

Go home if you don't want anything!

Happy birthday!

Ah! But I am a Cancer.

Anyway, your birthday will come sooner or later.

I brought you a present.

Here. Which one do you want?

A present?

Uh. One is a gift certificate of a top yakiniku restaurant in Azabu Juuban,

for a dinner that includes shabu-shabu & beef kabobs.

Azabu Juuban,

for a dinner that includes shabu-shabu & beef kabobs?!

What about the other?

You'll know after you've chosen it

Which one do you want to choose?

Don't want it? Then I'm off.

Who says I don't want it?

Then which one?

This.

You'll be punished by God!

It's you who wants to give me a present!

You chose the one as I expected.

To prove it, listen to this.

"Yamada. You won't get it. Won't get it."

Won't get it?

(You didn't get it. Idiot!)

See?

Anyway, there's nothing in that one, too.

If you chose this one...

you would have been able to eat this,

but you didn't chose it because you're bad and god has punished you!

"Yamada. You'll get that dinner. Get that dinner."

You just recorded opposite results on both sides.

What punishment of god!

There's no such thing.

If you don't think so, then help me.

What are you talking about?

Are you going to trouble me again?

It's you who always troubles me.

Please go home.

I'm trying to help people.

God's messenger?

God's messenger is a person who helps people pass their messages

to god and damns someone for god.

Damnation from god's messenger will definitely come true.

Even if you think nothing will happen,

In the end, someday you'll be damned by god.

Bullshit! It's just a story.

That's how I thought, too.

So I...

I...

You asked for a favour?

I asked him to punish my cousin.

Your cousin? A very bad cousin?

My parents passed away long ago.

My cousin, was like a brother to me, and took care of me very well.

He even paid my tuition for college.

My uncle has a few companies,

so they have a lot of money.

Then why?

We quarreled over a small issue.

Because I said I wanted to quit school.

I want to be a construction worker.

A construction worker?

Compared to college,

it's better to be trained at a work site.

You have days off when it rains.

Yet he objected violently,

and told me to work in his office after graduation.

Your cousin does care about you very much.

But at that time

I was angry that he couldn't understand that it was what I wanted to do.

Later, I heard from my friends about god's messenger.

So without seriously thinking about it, I asked for my cousin to be punished.

Hey. What's wrong with you?

Is he dead?

I didn't imagine that he would die because of god's punishment.

Why did I do such a stupid thing?

Professor.

It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

The accident was just a coincidence.

But the timing was perfect.

I heard someone else also died because of god's punishment.

Oh. I see.

But I think it must be those people, that god's messenger.

They must have set him up.

Then...

we should let the god's messenger be damned.

Professor. Please lend me your strength.

I've read "Dondon", Spiritual Phenomena."

It's "Donto koi."

I knew you were the only one I could ask for advice!

Professor. You will reveal the truth of the god's messenger, right?

You will help me, right?

But how?

Please ask the god's messenger to punish me.

What?

And then reveal the secret of the god's messenger.

What do you think? This is Emi's request.

She's so courageous, isn't she?

You really want to help me, right?

Please do it by yourself.

I see.

I was going to let you have it anyway, though....

Is this how you ask someone for a favor?

Your favorite food is just 30 centimeters away from you!

I have work. I can't.

Work?

I got a part-time job, it pays well.

It's a great job.

"Looking for someone who can disappear for a week without anyone noticing."

Isn't this great?

But if I disappear, someone will notice about me.

Who?

Like Jami.

I won't worry about you at all.

Who else?

Well...

Like the turtle.

And the turtle, and the turtle.

Just disappear for one week, and you can make so much.

This is too suspicious. There must be something.

They're looking for a highly suspicious person.

Yamada. You match these conditions exactly!

The money you earn will be the rent you should pay.

You can't say no.

You can't say no...

Then what kind of job is it?

Infiltrate a seminar and get information.

And then reveal their tricks and report it.

If I can successfully take some photos out there

the pay will be doubled.

It's nothing but an experience report.

I can see it. My report is printed in a top magazine,

and the painful, embarrassed expression on your face!

Please pick out three cards

and face them up on the table.

Three cards... Face up.

Then choose one among them. Before that...

I've predicted the number you're going to choose.

Please choose one from the three you took out.

Then ace of hearts.

Ace of Hearts, right?

Kidding you.

I want the 5 of spades.

No, I'll choose Jack of clubs.

So? You lose, right?

Again.

I see.

In this envelope you already placed two cards.

Then in order, you put those three cards in.

And just took out the card I chose.

To feel proud over writing a small report for a small magazine.

Don't you feel ashamed?

Right. Speaking of magazines,

There's a column in this magazine,

the chief editor asked me several times to take this serial column.

You know I've been busy, so I just gave them something in my spare time.

Yet I got 4 million readers' reply.

It's troublesome just how popular I am.

What?

You're just showing off.

Parts of them are really worth thinking about.

Keep lying, Ueda-san.

Someday you'll be punished by god, too.

Big snow in Haranada.

Want to help or not? Say it quickly.

Ueda-san.

Yamada Naoko NAKAMA Yukie

Ueda Jiro ABE Hiroshi

Yabe Kenzo NAMASE Katsuhisa

Corrections awrittensin

Damn Yamada.

I'll feel embarrassed just by myself.

Can I ask you something?

What?

Do you know anything about this manor?

People who live around here know it well.

It's very famous?

It originally was famous for midwives.

It's a midwives' manor

An old ladies' house?

Boy. Don't look down on them.

The luck of a person's life.

It is said to be given by those who assist in childbirth.

In the past, midwives

had magic power to control other's luck.

Especially this family.

They inherit the power of god's messenger.

And Kota-sama now has great power.

Heaven's punishment is just a superstition.

You shouldn't doubt god's messenger.

Go.

Wait here.

Well...

Oh well.

An altar.

God's messenger will be here soon.

You have to tell all your complaints.

God's messenger will listen to your complaints

and help you get rid of your bitterness.

Err...

When the one you wish to be damned does get his punishment,

please give us the reward you should pay.

The reward of success, is it?

Did you bring a personal item of the person?

Well...

About the person that I want to be punished...

Save the name for later...

God's messenger only needs that person's personal item.

That is enough for that person to be punished.

So he'll ask the name later...

It would be awful if god's punishment is delivered, yet you act is if you never knew.

But I think Professor Ueda from Japan's University of Science and Technology

wouldn't do such things.

Of course.

How do you know my name?

God's messenger is here.

So, Obaasan is...

God's messenger is this one.

A kid? Age doesn't matter.

But...

You can't seem to believe in him?

Then we'll let you see the power of the god's messenger.

Are you...

Didn't I tell you?

Our family has magic power.

Kota-sama's power, especially we can not compare too.

You're calling your own kid "sama"?

I have the power ask favors from heaven.

Prof. Ueda. Please choose an item in this room.

I'll face back. You just go ahead.

But later you'll see I am right.

Ok.

He's done.

This one.

I am right, am I not?

I told you I have power.

Now let's start.

Over.

That person will be punished by god.

That person will die.

People around them will have bad luck, too.

Be careful to not come near this person.

Is that all?

Well... Excuse me.

What if I want to cancel it?

That's impossible.

Once you invoke god to give punishment,

you won't be able to cancel it.

Or you will be punished by god, too.

Professor.

So?

Professor.

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

Just be with me from now on.

And don't go out of my sight at any time.

You said "don't go out of your sight at any time."

Does it mean I'm living with you, Professor, from today?

YES.

I feel thirsty after knowing I'm safe.

Jiro. Let's drink!

Hungry...

I want yakiniku!

Yakiniku...

Ueda-san. What are you doing?

It's a small and good camera, right?

Please go back.

I have to prepare for tomorrow's infiltration report.

The god's messenger is indeed not easy to deal with.

I called him by using a fake name.

Yet he knew who I really am.

Hey.

I'm a normal salaryman. My name is Takahashi.

Normal salaryman?

You called from your office, right?

They just checked the number, they would know immediately.

Exactly. Just like what I thought.

Yet how did he know the item I picked?

Someone must have give him a signal.

I thought the same thing.

But his mother didn't say anything,

and didn't do anything, too.

I think it's probably you didn't notice.

No such thing. Besides,

I guess you won't know I'm going to ask you something.

I knew it when I saw you.

Who?

Though she's useless, but it's better than no one around.

During the time I'm not here, you have to protect her, got it?

I wasn't thinking to ask you for this.

I'd like to go home.

Take this for dinner.

It's all right.

Let's eat dinner. Ok?

Danger!

Ah... it hurts...

Are you all right? Emi. Great!

Thank you.

Hey...

Listen carefully. No matter who knocks on the door. Don't open it.

Got it. You can go now.

Then, Emi. See you later.

Sorry. It's Ueda.

Didn't I tell you not to open the door for anyone?

Are you an idiot?

Sushi?

This.

Let's eat this.

This deluxe one.

Ok.

Deluxe. Deluxe...

Excuse me. I want two deluxe sushi.

Miss Emi. Which ones do you like?

Crab and red clam and abalone.

Crab and red clam and abalone?

Well...

Ueda asked me to protect you at all means.

This has no poison, too.

They probably will poison the food you like to eat.

Then what else do you like?

Tuna.

Tuna?

So full.

It seems there was no poison in anything!

But I haven't eaten anything.

There's still some.

Ginger slices.

Hey!

Hey! Open the door. YOU.

Hey.

Open the door. Quick.

Quick!

Open the door!

Ok.

A camera and a digital pen recorder.

Oh... I took one!

Oh well.

Ready.

Why?

This is the brochure.

Good morning. Can I check your handbag?

Please.

Ok.

Please raise your hands.

Ok. Thank you.

Ok...

Welcome to the "Laughing workshop."

Good. Keep laughing.

Everybody. GOOD MORNING.

Repeat after me.

I love money.

I love money.

Eh? Someone doesn't seem happy.

Just force yourself for a little bit.

Forcing yourself to laugh is also very important.

Why did you come to this workshop?

I want money. I want to have more money.

And you?

I want to buy land.

You?

I want to live overseas.

How about you?

I want to make big money.

And you?

I want to eat three meals a day.

Then laugh. Laugh!

Shakespeare had said so:

We lose it not, so long as we can smile.

You have to know that laughing has incredible power.

Just follow what I told you,

you're gonna have a lot of money.

The proof is "It's me."

It's me.

Now everyone, let's do it together.

I love money.

I love money.

I love money.

I love money.

I love money.

I love money.

I love money.

What the hell is this? I love money.

I love money...

Eh?

What are you looking for?

Could it be...

the IC recorder and the camera?

Marimo... Marimo!

Enzo Marimo!

What?

Where am I? What am I doing?

Aren't you Yamada Naoko-san?

Ah! Sorry. Again.

I have a bad habit. Wandering around without thinking.

It's true. I often got lost.

And I'm not well.

Sorry.

A little bit cold.

Wear this. Thank you.

Wait here. OK.

Excuse me...

Kuraoka-san?

No need to remember my name. Actually I'm from Japan Univ...

Are you the damnation agent, Kuraoka-san?

Damnation agent?

Great! If I couldn't find you, I don't know what to do.

Found it. Here.

Do you believe in damnation?

Uh. Looks like agents who match customers and the god's messenger.

Matchmaker?

Match someone who wants to damn somebody with the god's messenger.

That's to say the someone who contacts him

is the one who wants a person to die.

Won't this kind of person be caught?

No. Here doesn't specify he will kill himself.

Just advertising "Damnation" is not illegal.

Yes! I see.

He collaborates with the god's messenger to kill.

Then let's contact directly with this person, Kuraoka.

You look new.

No bangs...

I told you no bangs.

Who can it be? At such a time.

Hello?

Ah! Professor.

Damnation agency?

Uh. I want you to check a man named Kuraoka.

I've never heard about it.

But I can check him for you.

Please.

But I'm really busy.

I'm in charge of many cases.

What? A crime?

Hey! A crime. Hey?

A criminal? Criminal?

Wait... Hey...

A wall is there...

Excuse me. Is your hair...

So cold. Why ask me not to wear a coat?

Because I want to make sure if you are serious or not?

Uh? Why didn't you hold that pose?

Are you the damnation agent, Kuraoka-san?

I'm Kuraoka. Nice to meet you.

Have a great time!

What an unforgettable song!

Have you watched that program?

"Come over."

Then let's talk business.

We can represent you to get the third party damned.

Can you be more specific about the damnation?

Anything.

Anything... killing is ok too?

We don't kill people?

If you really want to damn somebody,

I can introduce you to a person.

But that person will not do it either.

The one who gives damnation

is god.

Is that "god" and you

partners?

I only take matching fees,

as to the rest of the fees, you have to talk with them.

Can I pay by credit card? KUBO card.

If the one you want to be damned is your relative,

you can buy that person some insurance.

I can introduce you some nice insurance companies.

Is that person your relative?

There's someone listening.

I want that.

This? You can buy this from Hands.

Not a new one. I want yours.

What are you talking about?

I have a deck of cards.

Let me do a magic trick for you. Look.

723...

This's Karaoke. Why do magic?

No... What?

Bye...

Oh...

Easily done.

All right.

If I don't take this, that woman will be angry.

Emi.

Jiro.

How was it?

This is that guy's notebook.

This notebook will tell us how many customers he's matched before.

We should be able to learn a lot.

This is great!

So cold...

Let's go back.

Look!

So?

This does have the names he matched before

and the names of the damned objects.

Don't pretend to be innocent!

The damnation agent Kuraoka.

I don't know him.

Liar.

On this notebook are names he introduced to here.

I told you I don't know him.

That man is unforgivable.

He dares to use us to make money.

Then we should let him be damned.

Don't act anymore.

Insolent fellow.

Strange boy.

From that time you asked us to give damnation,

you thought us as liars.

You wanted to test us and so asked us to give damnation...

Then?

You'll be sorry about it...

He'll be damned.

The man who owned that notebook will die.

Kota-sama.

Because that man is a bad guy.

That's right. A bad guy should be damned.

I feel so tired.

Want to take a nap?

Can I go there?

Of course.

Here. Have a good rest.

Uh.

Sleep sound.

There?

The kid and the bed have gone to another world.

So?

The point is how did you know I'm here?

I heard from your landlord.

You'll let me be suspected.

This is an infiltrating report.

I infiltrated from the back door.

Look. I even changed my costume.

You look more suspicious by wearing that.

This is not important. Let me ask you.

Why did he and the bed disappear?

The back of that room and the walls aside.

Did they look the same?

Yes.

They used mirrors.

The left and right side walls are double layers.

Inside are the mirrors.

As long as it can cover the bed and form a triangle.

The kid and the bed have gone to another world.

That's right. I knew it.

Before the bed is a mirror.

That mirror will reflect the wall behind and looks like the same wall.

So it looks like disappeared.

That kid just slept behind that mirror wall.

That's what I just told you.

Silly tricks.

Just a small trick and wanted to fool me?

But you were fooled.

Disgusting

If you want me to tell you, you should be nicer!

Ali.

Alice.

Goodbye. Wait.

Sorry. I'm just joking.

What's wrong with you?

What do you mean "what's wrong?"

It's gross when you're nice!

It's you who told me to be nice!

You are strange today.

I hate people like you who've never been treated nice.

What do you think? Delicious?

Leave me your camera, ok?

No.

Is it good to turn me down?

Your stupid magic again.

Inside those cards, there's only one which has "damnation" on.

Now I'm going to let you be punished.

Please choose a number between 3 to 10.

5... No... 8. 7... No... 9.

Ueda. Just pick one. Six.

Count to 6 from here.

Count counterclockwise.

Now start from the one you stopped.

And count clockwise to 6.

Follow the circle. And turn up the one you count 6.

OK.

Weird.

Have to take a photo.

Gone.

Gone, too.

Now we're going to do a "Happy Cleaning."

From now on, are you going to spend you life with laughing?

Or crying. That's a choice.

Cherish your precious money

and make money become happy, too.

Therefore just let me keep for half a year.

Yes. Just for six months.

Please let me take care of your money.

In the six months, I'll have put my power into this money.

And run away with this money.

This is unbelievable.

What's going on here?

It's a pity that amongst you all,

someone still has doubts about this workshop.

Can't say "I love money." with a smile.

It's pathetic.

Only if you believe me.

Every time,

A "happy cleaning" can be done.

Listen to me.

For example, the four envelopes,

I'll put a 10 thousand bill into one of them.

Then, Komiyama-san.

Yes.

Come here.

Everybody. Komiyama-san

had already given me his 10 million for me to take care of

for "happy cleaning".

Then Komiyama-san. Yes.

Please choose two envelopes from the four.

OK now? Ok.

Then I'll just...

Now Komiyama-san.

Please give me one of the two envelopes.

So, Komiyama-san.

Let's have a look inside. What is in this envelope?

Look.

Komiyama-san can make a "happy cleaning".

Komiyama-san didn't make any choice.

Yamada-san?

Daidoji-san knew

which envelope had the 10 thousand bill inside.

Therefore, if Komiyama-san chose another one among the last two

and gave the 10 thousand bill back to Daidoji-san.

Daidoji-san would say "it's you that chose this envelope."

Yet what if none of the envelopes I took has the 10 thousand bill?

If he placed them side by side, and let you pick one.

It will be the same. You'll get the same results

Don't be cheated.

Everybody, don't listen to her.

I didn't do anything.

Let me show you the proof.

Please shuffle it.

Not this one.

Not this one.

Not this one, either.

It's this one.

See?

I can make a "happy cleaning".

Again.

Ok.

You see?

But...

Again.

Look!

Impossible.

That's the power of laughing.

Let's prove it the last time. Komiyama-san.

Yes.

Please choose one more time.

See?

I love money.

I love money...

That's impossible.

I knew it! No matter which number I choose,

it'll be this one.

Emi.

What's wrong?

You can't sleep because of worry?

I'm sleeping now.

Don't worry.

There's only one card that has "Come on over" written on it.

You will choose this "come on over" one.

Please choose a number between 3 to 10.

Akamaru-san, Yoshima-san

And Omisawa-san

all asked for "happy cleaning".

Excuse me...

Where is Yamada-san?

No way!

Great!

A horse?

A well?

This

and this is ok.

Damn!

What are you doing here?

You saw it, right?

Yes.

The trick of the "happy cleaning"

is inside the envelope.

This is a two-layer envelope.

You put 10 thousand bills into each one of them in advance.

Therefore, no matter which one they choose, a bill will be inside.

This trick, I knew it from the start.

You didn't.

Damn it. Who can imagine a person would

burn up 10 thousand bills without any pity?

No one will do that.

It's unbelievable.

So it's totally...

1...

Total 200 thousand.

What a waste!

Who are you?

I've seen completely through everything you've done!

What's the use of saying so?

If you unlock me, I won't tell.

Then...

See you later.

407...410...417...

I'll kill that bastard!

Ouch!

No...