Original subtitles

Did you finish today's assignment, Robbie?

It finished me.

Maybe you could use some help.

With your homework, I mean.

I'd be glad to work with you after school.

Oh, no, that's okay, Carrie.

Hiya, Charlie. How's it going?

Hey, fine. man, yeah.

Hi, Cora.

Dottie.

How are things, Peg?

Hey, kid, you look like you swallowed a fly.

Ow!

All right, lover boy.

What's eating you?

You hit me on the head.

Douglas, that happened years ago.

Don't give me your wise remarks,

you, you teenaged old man.

How would you like to say that again through a fat lip?

Big man, big deal!

Hey, Charlie's starting to shave this year.

Five hairs.

Listen... Mr. Teel!

I hope you will forgive my tardiness.

I was called unexpectedly to the office.

You will have a new classmate.

So I shall ask...

Miss Beverly Mason comes to us from the state of Texas.

Welcome to World Literature, Miss Mason.

You may take the seat directly in front of Mr. Douglas.

If you will raise your hand, Mr. Douglas.

Since Mr. Douglas is the first

to recite this morning,

perhaps he will tell us which page to turn to.

Mr. Douglas, you may put your arm down.

If you will condescend to drag yourself

from the euphoria that engulfs you,

we are anxious to learn

the page number and nature of your recitation.

Oh, um...

Uh, page, uh, 79.

"The New Knighthood" by Kudyard Ripling.

I mean, by Rudyard Kipling.

"'Who gives him a bath?'

"'I, ' said the wet, rank jungle sweat,

'I'll give him the bath.'"

Do you want me to explain this part before I go on?

I, um, if you possibly can.

Well, uh, what it asks is, "Who will give him a bath?"

I guess it means that he needs a bath.

On account of the-the rank jungle sweat.

Well, it gets pretty hot

in the jungle, you know?

Um, on account of it's close to the equator.

The closer you get to the equator,

the hotter it gets.

If you go in the opposite direction,

then it, it gets... it gets colder...

and colder.

Freezing?

You may sit down, Mr. Douglas.

As a matter of fact, please sit down.

For years, I have held the works

of Mr. Rudyard Kipling in great esteem.

So why live dangerously at my age?

I would suggest, Mr. Douglas, that you endeavor

to recall what I have taught you about

iambic pentameter.

I dare not expect you to understand what you read,

but if you must annihilate great poetry,

at least march it to its death in rhythm.

Right here.

I'm gonna put a bullet right here.

Well, you better aim for your stomach.

It's liable to ricochet and hit me.

Thanks, Bub.

No, no, no more. Oh, well, just a little bit.

You know, I can't understand it.

Every time we sit down at this table,

somehow the conversation gets around to murder.

You're leaving me wide open

for a wisecrack by these guys about the food.

Doorbell.

I'll get it.

Of all the places to meet a new girl,

that crummy World Literature, my worst class.

She looked at me as if I was a germ or something.

Mm, who was at the door, Chip?

Just Carrie.

Oh, what did she want?

I don't know.

You don't mean you left her standing out there?

No, I told her to sit down.

Oh, for goodness sakes. Carrie, come on in here!

She was like a queen, radiating.

Hi. Hello, Mr. Douglas.

How are you tonight?

Fine, thank you. Good.

Hi, Carrie.

When she walked in the room,

you couldn't have got a bigger shock

if Bub had walked in in his long underwear.

Robbie, uh, you have a visitor.

Oh, uh, hi, Carrie.

What are you doing here?

Won't you have some ice cream?

No, thank you.

I picked these books up at the library.

I thought they might help you

with your World Literature assignment.

Oh.

Well, that's, uh, that's very nice

of you, Carrie. Thank you.

Yes, it is very nice, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Uh, thanks a lot, Carrie.

You know, Carrie, uh, I was just telling them about Beverly.

They don't believe that she's really that neat.

But tell 'em it's true, Carrie.

She's very pretty.

Well, I better be going.

Good night, Robbie.

Yeah, so long, Carrie.

Robbie!

Oh, uh, thanks again for the books, Carrie.

Uh, I'll go to the door with you, Carrie.

What are you all staring at Robbie for?

Yeah, why are you staring at me?

Did anybody ever tell you you're a knothead?

Knothead? What'd you say that for?

Well, I could say a lot more if Chip wasn't in the room.

Oh, don't mind me.

What do you mean? What did I do?

What did you do?

You are the most insensitive...

All right, hold it, hold it.

Well, Dad, for no reason at all,

Mike just started calling me stuff.

What did you call him, Mike?

Well, I called him a knothead. Yeah.

Good.

Huh?

Yes, huh.

A nice little girl like Carrie does you a favor,

and then you start talking

about this "Beverly" whatever her name is.

Ah, Dad, uh, Carrie's a good egg, she...

I got a quick flash for you.

She's not an egg at all.

She's a girl with feelings.

Which... thanks to you... Are very hurt at this moment.

Maybe the best thing to do is

come on real continental like Cary Grant.

Give Beverly the old charm.

Don't look at me, you sired it.

Would you like some chocolate milk, Beverly?

Clumsy.

Come on, Charlie,

if she doesn't go for you, we're all dead.

Yeah, that's right.

Hey, what's the deal?

Oh, I've been elected to find out

if Beverly's got ice or blood in her veins.

Oh, well, big deal.

Watch closely, short stuff.

Hi, beautiful.

Don't you think it's about time

you defrost a little?

Oh, boy, why can't I think of stuff

like that to say to girls?

Well, big deal.

Hey, I think she's gonna say something.

In case you haven't heard, my name is Charlie Willard.

Pleased to meet you, Charlie.

As soon as you all finish scuttling to your seats,

I have something to say.

Due to the terrifying results of a recent class recitation,

we shall endeavor to study poetry

with a different approach.

I will assign each one of you to a study partner.

You will choose a poem and prepare a detailed report.

This report will determine half your semester grade.

I have paired you off as follows:

Eloise Minor and Marsha Jergens.

Carrie Marsh and Charlie Willard.

Tom Bragen and Estelle Wickey.

Robbie Douglas and Beverly Mason.

Marian Shrope and Gina Durbin.

Hazel Bell and Jack Johnson.

Billy Jacobs and Tom Horn.

Mary Dolan and William Masters.

Well, uh, if you guys will excuse me,

I have a few things to discuss with Beverly.

What a waste.

Like pairing a gazelle with a turtle.

Suffer.

Well, it looks

like fate has thrown us together, huh?

Looks like it.

We'll have to be studying at night,

so why don't you come over to my house this evening?

We'll hit the books for awhile

and then, uh, get to know each other a little better.

Well...

I have some extra reference books that might be a big help.

Well, maybe for a little while.

Yeah, sure.

Well, come on. We'll talk about it.

Like a swan and a crow.

I liked gazelle and turtle better.

Yeah, that was pretty good, wasn't it?

Robbie, for Pete's sake, will you sit down?

Pacing up and down isn't going to get her here any sooner.

You seem a little nervous tonight, Mr. Grant.

I happen to be digesting my dinner,

wise guy.

Come here, Tramp. Tramp!

Go on.

Chip, will you quit messing around

with that darn alarm clock?

Enter the 100 yard dash and you'll break a record.

Yeah, well, I'll break your record

if you don't get off my back.

Just take it easy, now.

Tramp!

Tramp, let him alone.

Well, at least he's consistent.

Hi. Come on in.

Uh, Dad, Mike, Chip, this is Beverly.

This is Tramp.

Did somebody answer that door?

Yes, they did, uh, Bub.

Uh, uh, Beverly this is Bub. Bub, this is Beverly Mason.

How do you do?

I'm pleased to meet all of you.

Well, uh, Robbie tells us you're from Texas, Beverly.

Yes, but I was born here.

Oh, you're a native, huh?

No, I'm Swedish.

Oh.

You, uh, you're a freshman, huh?

Well, of course she is.

We're in the same class together.

Uh, well, come on, we can go in the kitchen and study.

Did you bring your notes?

What notes?

Your class notes.

I don't have any notes.

Man, you must have some memory.

I have to take notes.

You do?

Uh, well, come on.

We'll see you all later.

Well, she's, uh...

a very pretty girl, isn't she?

But she doesn't seem too, uh...

I mean, she, uh, seemed just a little, uh...

Yeah, very mature-looking for her age,

but she does seem a little...

Yeah, she does seem a little, uh... Dumb.

That's the word.

You told me that Beverly only lived four blocks from here.

It's taken you an hour and 45 minutes to walk her home.

She got lost.

She couldn't find her own house?

You don't know what I've been through.

Uh, must be like, uh, studying with Madam Curie.

Real genius, huh?

Every time she opened her mouth, it was a catastrophe.

She's not very good at poetry, huh?

Next to her, I'm like Robert Louis Longfellow.

Robert Louis Longfellow?

Oh, come on, Rob, she couldn't be that stupid.

How could anyone with such a beautiful face

have such a-a messed-up brain?

Why, it happens that way all the time.

I knew a girl once in, uh,

Stubenville, Ohio, I think it was.

She did a fire-eating act.

She was beautiful, but, boy, she was stupid.

Well, what happened to her?

Well, she, uh, drank a glass of water and put out the act.

Come on, Bub, I'm serious.

Before Beverly,

there was a possibility that I might flunk World Lit.

It's not a possibility anymore.

It's a dead certainty.

Do you think we'll do all right on the assignment, Robbie?

I think Mr. Teel will get quite a jolt.

You really think he'll be impressed?

It'll knock him out.

Oh, hi, Robbie.

Hi, Billy.

Like pheasant under glass with ketchup.

Ah, don't let him bug you, Robbie. He's just jealous.

Hey, what's she like to study with?

You just wouldn't believe it.

Mr. Southerland, even a rat in a maze

eventually learns to avoid certain pitfalls.

How do you account for the fact

that you continually bark your shins on the same desk?

Gee whiz, Mr. Teel. I don't do it on purpose.

Thank you, Mr. Southerland.

That was a beautifully thought out answer.

Well, how are the reports coming?

Miss Minor, Miss Jergens, Mr. Bragen,

Miss Wickey, Miss Marsh, Mr. Willard.

Miss Mason, are you and Mr. Douglas

on any better terms with Mr. Kipling?

Who?

We're doing just fine, Mr. Teel.

Uh, being from Texas, Miss Mason,

you are undoubtedly aware of the Browning Memorial in Waco?

Uh, well, she's not from that part of Texas, Mr. Teel.

Do my ears deceive me,

or is there an echo in this room?

Perhaps it is the voice of Rudyard Kipling

crying out from his grave.

Chip, is this today's paper?

Yes.

Well, I haven't had a chance to read it yet.

What are you doing to it?

Just putting some stuff in my scrapbook.

Well, couldn't you have used yesterday's paper?

Well, gosh, I don't ask very much around here,

just to read the paper and...

Dad, how old do you have to be to join the Foreign Legion?

Well, older than you are.

Well, "chronocological" age doesn't mean anything.

It's just how much you've suffered that counts,

isn't it, Dad?

If that were true, I'd have joined it years ago.

Chip, if you're going to do any pasting,

you'd better do it out in the kitchen table.

That'd be a good place.

If you got paste all over here, what Bub would do?

Oh, now we got company.

Well, they'll see what nice housekeepers we are.

Oh, hello, Carrie.

Hello, Mr. Douglas. Is Robbie home?

Yes, his, uh, spirit is staggering

across the Sahara Desert,

but his body's over there on the couch.

Uh... I'm with her.

Oh, hi, Carrie.

Well, what are you doing here?

Charlie and I just came by to pick up those reference books.

Oh, well, I'm not finished with them yet.

Charlie and I need them, and they are checked out to me.

Oh, okay. Well, they're in the kitchen.

I'll get them!

Brother, what's eating her?

She's a pain.

You know, I've been reading and researching till my eyes water.

Her and her "A" average.

Yeah, her and her "A" average.

You've got Beverly.

There's no justice.

And I've got Beverly.

Oh, man. Oh... I'm going to flunk for sure.

Why are you going to flunk?

She drives me crazy. I tell you, Charlie,

having a goddess for a study partner isn't easy.

It's not?

You mean, there's something wrong with her?

Wrong? No, she's perfect.

But every time we sit down to study, she...

Well, she just doesn't want to study.

She doesn't?

She just keeps running her fingers through my hair.

I can't get any work done.

Brother!

Well, would you want a study partner like her?

She runs her fingers through your hair?

I mean, who wants to smooch

when you've got schoolwork to do?

She wants to smooch?

I tell you, Charlie, my concentration is shot.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Well, hey, if she's that way with you,

imagine how she'd be with me.

Charlie, don't even think about it.

What do you mean, "Don't think about it"?

Hey, listen, Rob, let's switch.

Huh?

Look, you take Carrie. I'll take Beverly.

Mr. Teel won't mind.

Oh, Charlie...

Look, you're an up and comer,

but, let's face it, experience counts.

I can handle Beverly. You can't.

Carrie... she's just your speed.

Oh, Charlie, I couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair to you.

I swear, you don't know what this girl can do.

Look, I'll risk it. I'll risk it!

No, Charlie, you're...

If you trade, I'll make sure you get voted

into the Letter Society tomorrow morning.

You will?

Cross my heart.

Thank you for letting me sample your cookies, Mr. O'Casey.

It's a pleasure, Carrie.

Is it a deal?

Ready, Charlie?

Uh, listen, Carrie. Something's come up.

Well, what do you mean?

Well, look...

You're a great study partner

and I love working with you,

but I can't turn down a friend.

Robbie's been begging me to trade partners,

and I'm going to do it.

Now, I know you might not like it, but...

Well, why shouldn't I like it?

Well... Well, I'm glad you don't mind.

Because you two belong together.

Robbie, I thought you and Beverly were...

Every minute was agony. Right, Rob?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So right.

Oh, uh, that must be Beverly now.

Oh, I'll get it.

Hi. Remember me? Come on in.

Say, how'd you like to have me for your study partner?

Well, I... Look, why don't we take a walk

and I'll give you all the details.

Well... Where do you live?

Uh, down the street somewhere.

She's speechless.

She sure is.

Well, say good-bye.

Good-bye.

Say, maybe before I take you home,

we can go check the moon situation.

The moon situation?

Well, it's daylight outside.

Oh, yeah, but, uh, I thought

maybe I could take you over by the lake

and we'd wait for it to come up?

Oh, say good-bye again.

Good-bye again.

Robbie, did you really insist on changing partners?

Well, sure I did, Carrie. Here.

Well, uh, we might as well get to work, huh?

Hey, maybe you can stay for dinner afterwards.

Sure, if you want me to.

Oh, do you think that's okay, Bub?

Well, I'd love to have her.

Well, good, then we can study afterwards.

Anything you say, Robbie.

Well, what do you know?

Yeah. How did all that come about?

You know, Bub, that kid may not be so hot at poetry,

but when it comes to adolescent psychology,

he knows more about it than Sigmund Freud.

I could have told you that years ago.

Meanwhile, you better go down and get another steak.

We're going to have a guest for dinner.

Yeah.

It seems only yesterday I was burping Robbie over my shoulder.

Now he's a con-artist.

It's a little frightening.