Original subtitles

Hey, Mike, come on, let's go.

You said you were gonna drive Chip and me to school today.

Easy, lad, I'll get you there on time.

Just getting in the mood.

Yeah, well, listening to cha-cha music

isn't gonna pull you through that Spanish test

next week, el playboy.

You'd better knuckle down and do some fancy studying.

Señor, that is exactly the kind of studying

I'm going to do.

What do you mean?

Fancy studying.

Russ Burton's got a Spanish teacher lined up for me

to study with me every night next week.

A Spanish teacher?

That's what I said.

I got a hunch she's a shapely señorita.

Well, what do you mean, you've got a hunch?

Don't you know?

Well, I haven't met her yet.

We're gonna be introduced this morning.

Bub, I had a paper like this filled with equations.

Have you seen it anyplace? No, I didn't see it.

Well, maybe you covered it up or something.

Don't touch those... I got them just the way I want them.

If I'd have seen it, I'd have picked it up.

I'm the neatest housekeeper in town, and you know it.

And, uh, like Russ says,

the only way to learn a romance language

is in a warm, relaxed atmosphere, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, uh, maybe you could get her to help me

with my Spanish, huh? Oh, no, you don't.

You'd better leave this kind of stuff

to your, uh, elders.

I worked so late last night, I'm groggy.

I have no idea what I did with it.

It's got to be around here someplace.

Remember, Bub, you said I could help you

with the painting after school.

I suppose I did... I got a big mouth.

Let's go, small fry. Bye, Dad. Bye, Bub.

Good-bye, Rob.

Uh... good-bye, Dad.

Good-bye, Mike.

Oh. You'll be back Sunday night, then, huh?

Yeah. And not too late, and have fun and take it easy.

Thanks, Dad. What do you mean, Sunday night?

Where are you gonna be tonight and Saturday night?

Well, I'm going on a skiing trip with Tim and Russ.

A skiing trip in the middle of a school term?

Don't you have an exam next week?

Well, sure, but... well, I'm in great shape with school.

You don't think I'd take a chance leaving if I weren't, do you?

Sure you would. Well, so long.

Save some painting for me.

All right, you can paint the driveway.

I believe that guy's giving you a snow job with real snow.

Well, college is a grind, Bub.

Mike could use a little relaxation from his studies.

Yeah, I noticed the way he's been concentrating lately.

If he were any more relaxed, he couldn't stand up.

Steve, I can see that I'm gonna be of no further use

to this family.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you

for a divorce. Oh? On what grounds?

You're spoiling the kids.

You've given Mike free rein around here,

and he's taken advantage of you.

He should be given some discipline.

Bub, Mike's not a kid anymore.

You don't spank a college man.

When a boy gets older, you treat him differently, you know that.

Well, if people are gonna be getting the royal treatment

around here because they're getting older...

all hail the new king.

I don't know what I did with that paper,

but I suppose it'll turn up...

somewhere.

Joe and I are still trying to work out that problem

down at Casey Aeronautics... If we don't lick it today,

we're gonna have to work over the weekend, I'm afraid.

And that's another thing.

In my day, we called our boss "mister."

That's the point.

Things have changed, Bub.

That's why I say don't worry about Mike.

My psychology is to show Mike

that I have complete confidence in him.

And believe me, with that kind of treatment

he's gonna be all right.

It seems to me I read a similar speech

by the parent of a man who became very famous. Oh?

I think it was the mother of Baby Face Nelson.

Hi, you guys.

Well, where's the, uh, señorita?

Where is who?

Well, my Spanish tutor.

Oh. Right there, standing beside you.

Right here.

Oh, but... Oh, brother!

I might've known you'd come up with something like this.

No kidding, look, this is really wild stuff.

Isn't it?

Oh, the "sleep while you learn" method

has been in existence for years... it works.

While you sleep, the record plays

repetitive phrases over and over,

and even in one night, you can absorb

a few basic words and... maybe even a phrase or two.

When I think of the time that I wasted sleeping in class.

Boy, if I had one of these things turned on,

I'd be a genius by now!

Instead of Professor Fowler, you take a sleeping pill.

Hey, could we hear what it sounds like? Sure.

What language are you studying?

Uh, Spanish, elementary Spanish.

Okay.

Keep in mind that this is not as comprehensive

as a regular classroom course.

It just gives you the basic fundamentals.

Professor Fowler's back again.

Relax.

Be completely relaxed

and let your subconscious do the work for you.

Sleep.

Sleep. Sleep.

Hey, what happens if you can't sleep, you stay stupid?

Shh!

Good day.

Buenos días.

Buenos días.

Good night.

Buenas noches.

Buenas noches.

Come on, when are we gonna get going?

Don't want to miss that moonlight toboggan caper.

Take it easy, will you? Keep it down.

I don't want Bub to know I'm setting this up.

But why can't you do this Sunday when we get back?

Because setting up an auxiliary speaker

and an automatic control is no simple job.

And when I get home Sunday, I don't want to spend

half the night working on this thing.

I want to go to sleep and study.

Hi, Tramp!

Sorry, boy, you can't go in.

I got to help Bub paint Dad's room.

He's depending on me.

Bad boy.

Oh, he finished it without me!

Jeepers, Bub, you promised I could help paint something!

Yeah, well, you just did.

Now I got to wipe this off before it dries.

How come? You look good as a beatnik.

Leave it on.

Yeah, well, it might tickle the girls.

How are you?

¿Como está usted?

¿Como está usted?

Aw, come on, Mike, let's go, huh?

Okay, okay.

All I have to do... is unplug this

and plug it through the automatic control.

And then I set this up here.

Now, it turns the machine on at 12:00 midnight,

plays for six hours, turns it off,

then the following midnight, turns it back on

and goes through the whole cycle.

Pretty clever, huh? Seems to me like you're doing

a lot of work just to get out of doing a little work. Hey.

Save that kind of philosophy for old folks, huh?

Come on, now, let's get out of here. Okay.

All right, now, Rembrandt,

let me see you do a little painting.

There you go.

Down, up, down, up... How's that?

I'm sorry. That's very nice, very nice.

Give me your hand.

Turn it over.

Now turn it over.

I'm sorry, too.

Now, come here, and I'll wash you off.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute, you guys.

I'd better say good-bye to Bub.

Bub, I'm leaving... I just wanted to say...

Hey, you got paint all over your face.

Yeah, the brush jumped up and bit me.

Oh. Well, I just wanted to say I'm leaving. See you Sunday.

Well, if I had my way,

you'd stay home here and do some studying.

Now, you take care of yourself up there

and don't let the squirrels bite you. Okay. Good-bye.

Bring back my snowball. Bye. Okay.

Now, now we're all right.

Come on, I'll finish this job up for you.

On the local front,

predicted showers turning to snow,

perhaps hail, later in the afternoon.

There you are... the other network says

it's gonna be nice and warm tomorrow.

Yeah, we might as well switch back to the other network.

As long as I have to drive in to the office tomorrow,

I might as well drive in in good weather.

Well, better go up, I guess.

Hey, Bub, I don't know whether I can sleep in my room tonight.

That paint smell is murder.

Yeah, I noticed that... It smells like

the inside of a tunnel full of traffic.

Yeah. Maybe I ought to sleep down here.

Well, why don't you try Mike's room.

He's gone for the weekend.

That's right, I never even thought of it.

Well, I still have some homework to do before I go to bed.

Oh, you haven't figured out that problem yet, huh?

You know, and I don't know why

we can't get the solution to that thing.

It's probably some simple answer

that I learned years ago in school.

Well, just get a good night's sleep,

and you'll have a clear head in the morning.

Good night, Bub. Good night.

11:30.

Well, I'll try again in the morning.

Relax.

Be completely relaxed

and let your subconscious

do the work for you.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Good day.

Buenos días.

Buenos días.

Good night.

Buenas noches.

Buenas noches.

Give it to me again, Chip.

How do you say, "Where's the post office?"

Give him a hint, like telling him the answer.

No, Bub, I got to get this on my own.

If I only knew the Spanish word for "post office"

and "where" and "is."

Hello?

No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

This is 2-2-1-1-0.

That's all right.

Adiós.

"Adiós"?

Morning, Bub.

Morning. How'd you sleep in Mike's bed?

Well, uh, it was kind of a weird night.

I, uh, I slept all right, I guess,

it was just that, uh, well, I kept hearing voices all night.

Well, you were probably worried about that engineering problem.

Yeah, I guess that must have been it.

How'll you have your scrambled eggs this morning?

Oh, same as usual, I guess-scrambled.

Jeepers, you gonna take all day?

How do you say, "Where's the post office?"

"Donde"... that means "where."

¿Donde está el correo?

Well, that's right, Dad.

Do you speak Spanish?

No. Then how did you know

how to say, "Where's the post office?"

I don't know.

How did I know?

Well, you probably picked it up watching TV.

I learned Japanese watching movies.

No kidding. How do you say,

"Where's the post office?" in Japanese?

Sayonara.

All right, Bub, maybe you're right, though.

I must have picked it up someplace like that.

Here, next page, Chip.

The cow is black.

La vaca es negra.

I don't understand this.

You want to change your order to Spanish omelet?

I just don't understand this.

Maybe you read this book once or something.

No, no, I didn't.

Or, or in Mike's textbook.

That's practically the same course as mine, Dad.

Look, I've never read a Spanish book.

I don't know how to read Spanish.

I don't speak it and I don't understand it.

Oh, yeah? Well, all I can say is,

I'm commencing to feel like Desi Arnaz's houseboy.

Dad, is there some reason that you don't want us

to know that you speak Spanish?

Of course not.

Once and for all, I do not speak Spanish.

Of course, I just did, didn't I?

Yes.

And, there's got to be some explanation

for this whole thing.

You can't just go to bed

and wake up spouting Spanish like a bullfighter.

Maybe you were in Spain once, or something.

Of course I wasn't in Spain once or something.

I'd remember that, wouldn't I?

Maybe it's too painful to remember, Dad. Or maybe...

Oh, for goodness sakes. I tell you, I don't speak Spanish.

How would you say,

"The airplane landed on the field," in Spanish?

I don't know.

I don't know. You see?

That-that proves I must have just picked up

a couple of words someplace, that's all.

Come on, Robbie. Let's finish this.

How do you say "Good morning, madam"?

Buenos días, señora.

Dad, are you trying to hide from us

that once you were in a Spanish prison?

Don't be ridiculous.

As you say, there must be some logical, simple explanation

to this whole thing, which... I haven't got time

to figure out now, but I'll work on it.

I've lost my appetite. I'm going to work.

I'll see you all tonight.

Bye, Dad. Bye, Dad.

Hasta la vista.

He's just playing some kind of a game on us, that's all.

Sure, he probably read Mike's textbook

and wants to surprise us.

You're right.

And, as soon as I finish my breakfast,

I've got to go in there and paint my room,

and I want you two guys out of here.

Can I help? Please, Bub, let me help.

Now, listen, Chip. It's such a nice, beautiful day.

You go on over to Sudsy's and play cowboys and Indians.

Oh, well, all right.

Well, good morning, Steve.

Buenos días, José.

Sorry you had to come in on Saturday.

Say, what's with the Spanish jazz?

Hmm? Oh.

I didn't know you spoke Spanish, Steve.

Well, I-I don't.

Well, I-I do, but, uh...

Well, what I mean is,

I didn't speak Spanish before this morning.

You didn't speak Spanish until this morning?

That's right.

Look, Joe, uh, let's not talk about it.

Th-The whole thing is pretty silly.

Oh, no, no. It isn't silly at all.

This is very interesting.

Exactly how much Spanish do you speak?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Well, who's your teacher?

I don't have a teacher, Joe.

I just, uh, sort of picked it up.

Where?

I took Spanish pills, Joe.

Oh, no, no. Seriously, Steve.

I'm, uh, interested.

I-I don't speak the language, Joe.

I, uh, I just happened to pick up a few words someplace.

You, uh, just happened to pick up a few words somewhere?

That's right.

Say, you know, I-I promised Fred Thompson

I'd, uh, see him this morning on those, uh, estimates

on the X201 and I, uh, I'd better get over there

before he takes his, uh, 10:00 martini break.

I'll see you, Joe.

Mr. Wantley? Joe Walters.

I think I found out what you wanted to know

about Douglas's future plans.

It looks like he's taking that South American offer he had.

Well, why else would he learn to speak Spanish?

Oh, fluently.

All right. So we'll go on the theory

that at some time during my life,

I had an attack of amnesia.

But when could it have happened?

Well, I've known you for over a hundred years,

and you've been clean all that time.

Well, there you are.

I'll just have to go over every step of my life,

and if I don't find out where I picked up this Spanish,

I may never sleep again.

I may not ever even eat again.

That's pretty frightening.

Steve, whatever we discover in your past,

just remember this:

I'm right behind you.

Yeah. Me, too, Dad.

Me, too. Even if you did something horrible.

Thank you.

Well, I'm going to hit the sack.

I'm pooped from all this painting.

Which, by the way, nobody commented on.

Either in Spanish or English.

Now, get out of here, you two.

We weren't going to bed.

Oh, yes, you are. Your dad's got a lot of things on his mind.

Now get out of here. Scat.

Good night, Dad. Good night, Dad.

Yeah, good night. Come on, hurry up.

I can't sleep.

Are you still at it?

I'm still at it.

You know something, Bub? I have never spoken Spanish before.

I went back over my whole life, way back to when I was a baby.

I couldn't even speak English then.

There's only one thing for me to do: go to a psychiatrist.

Maybe he can pull something out of my subconscious

or whatever they do.

Yeah? Well, I think you've gone about far enough

with this little game.

What little game?

No man can go to bed at night and wake up the next day

speaking a language he never heard of before.

Well, I did.

Well, my congratulations.

Thank you.

And if you wake up tomorrow

speaking Egyptian,

please give my regards to King Farouk.

Good night.

Oh, and I've got the smell of paint in my room now,

so if you're going to use your own room tonight,

I'll sleep in Mike's room.

Fine.

Uh, Steve I'm-I'm sorry I hollered,

but you've got to admit that this Spanish stuff

is a little difficult to believe.

Yeah.

Good night. Good night.

Again.

Relax.

Be completely relaxed.

And let your subconscious do the work for you.

Sleep. Sleep.

Sleep.

Good day.

Buenos días.

Buenos días.

Gosh, what a night.

Hi, Bub. Hi.

Voices, voices, voices.

I bet I didn't sleep a wink all night.

I'm making my own breakfast, Bub.

Well, bully for you. That's a little help.

Oh, you're awake. Hi.

Hi, Dad. You boys got up kind of early

for a Sunday morning, didn't you?

Hey, Dad, did you find out how come you can speak Spanish?

No, I didn't.

Well, you're not going to confess, huh?

Look, you're acting as though I delivered

the Preamble to the Constitution in Spanish.

I just said a few phrases, that's all.

Now, let's forget the whole thing, shall we?

Come on, Dad. Try it once more.

How do you say "I like breakfast"?

Now, look, Robbie... Me gusta desayuno.

Now, Bub, it just can't be coincidence

that we each slept in this room one night

and woke up the next morning,

speaking a language we don't even know.

There's got to be a reason for it.

Well, we both heard voices.

That's right.

Now, that must have had something to do with it,

but where did the voices come from?

Maybe that record player.

Yeah.

I didn't turn it on, did you?

No.

Hey, lookit here.

He's got it hooked up to an automatic timer.

Automatic, huh?

And it's set for 12:00 midnight.

Hmm. That's it.

Let me turn it on manually.

Relax.

Be completely relaxed.

Let your subconscious do the work for you.

Look here. Uh... Sleep. Sleep.

Well, what do you know? Yeah.

It's a language learning record. Learn while you sleep.

Si, si.

How do you like that little rascal?

That's why he can duck out and, uh, still get his homework done.

Yeah. Pretty tricky. Yeah.

Of course, I guess you can learn from a thing like this.

We did. But it can't compare with being taught

in a classroom by a teacher.

No. Now, do you admit that you've been too soft with Mike?

Look at the stunt he's pulling to get through school easy.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, a thing like this can work two ways, Bub.

I don't know what you mean.

You'll find out.

Well, I'm, uh, I'm sorry I caused you

so much confusion, Dad.

That's all right, Mike.

We had a little excitement and, uh...

a little education along with it.

Mike, I'd like to borrow that record of yours.

I may want to take some cha-cha lessons.

You don't have to speak Spanish to cha-cha, Bub.

I know, but if I ever step on the toes

of one of those Spanish instructors,

I want to hear exactly what she thinks of me.

Excuse me, Chip.

All right, you guys. It's about time to get going,

be at our respective institutions of learning.

Come on, Chip.

Well, take it easy, Speedy.

So what if we're a little late once in a while?

Robbie, there are reasons

why we're not supposed to be late to school.

Number one is to instill discipline.

Number two is so that we won't waste one precious moment

of these years of our lives,

because these are the platinum years. Now, let's go.

What are you bucking for, anyhow?

Uh, poet laureate of the boys' gym or something?

Come on, Chip.

I didn't understand anything he said.

Now, Chip, wipe your mouth. Here.

Dad, I told you I was going on that skiing trip next weekend.

Well, I've, uh, canceled out because I'd better stay home

and study some of my weaker subjects.

Fine Mike, what, uh, whatever you think is best.

Well... yeah.

Okay, well, see you later.

Wow. Okay.

Psychology works both ways.

How'd you do it?

Now, you're asleep, Mike. You are fast asleep.

Now, remember this.

Old age may be the golden years,

but the years we spend in school are the platinum years.

And to waste one moment of this precious time

is to forfeit any right we have

to share in the wonderful experience of learning.

You sound a little like

an announcer I knew in Burlington, Iowa.

Now, you're asleep Mike, you are fast asleep.

I repeated it 28 times.

Well, it sunk in.

Old age may be the golden years,

but the years we spend in school are the...

Hello?

Oh, yes, Joe.

I'm fine. Say-say, Joe,

I, uh, I found out how I came to be speaking Spanish.

It's a crazy thing, but... A raise?

Well, of course, I'm always glad to get a raise, Joe, but...

Oh.

No, I... Well, yes, as a matter of fact...

As a matter of fact, Joe, I-I was considering an offer.

Of course not, Joe.

If you don't want me to, I won't go to South America.

No.

Well, thanks again, Joe.

Right. Good-bye.

What's that about a raise in pay?

Well, I must have said something that, uh,

psychologically set him up for a raise in pay.

But what was it?

I don't know.

But subconsciously, Bub, I must be a very clever man.

Adiós, amigo.

Hasta la vista, hombre.