Original subtitles

You win. Juniper is good.

How long are you going to keep this up, Bonnie?

Keeds, I've got this.

Sometimes the way you speak about Bonnie,

it's like she's one of your projects.

# Over the s... #

Who's in charge here?

I made a mistake.

Stop talking!

That's not your stop.

Fancied doing something different today. Making a different choice!

Where is she, Nina? Where's Addie?

Bonnie, wait! Leave me alone, Jaws.

Bonnie!

Addie?

Addie?

Addie?

RINGING TONE

Police, please.

They're not here.

Um, my daughter and her friend are missing.

Yeah, Adeline Darrow and Bonnie Bridges.

I told Bonnie to stay away from Juniper.

She's actually been really happy here.

Oh, but now she's run away. How strange!

She's not running from us!

Has Tom got home yet?

He'll call me if they're at our house.

I'm going back out there.

I don't think so.

I have to.

You know I have to!

Keedie Darrow, you will not leave this house!

I already have one child missing.

Something's happened at Do Good Books. It's a wreck.

No-one knows where they've gone and we're really worried.

BONNIE: Stop following me.

Look, you're not all right.

I'll be all right, when do-gooders like you leave me alone.

You do not know how much trouble you've caused.

Why don't you let me help you?

No! Addie! Seriously!

You do not have to make everything all right.

You do not have to fix me,

and you do not have to do anything apart from leave me alone.

I thought you were following me?

Oh. Right, yes.

I am.

Jaws, just wait!

Mum's never spoken to me like that before.

I know.

OFF-SCREEN: Have a seat.

She's scared.

And she can't say that she's scared because...

..well, then it makes it all real. That's all.

Look, Addie will walk through that door any minute now.

You want to be here when she does, right?

Um, the police are on their way.

I'm going to go check the village again. Thank you.

Right, can I get you anything, Martha?

Addie, wait!

I hate to break it to you, but this is kind of my meltdown!

And you're kind of stealing my thunder here.

Oh, sorry. Are you OK?

Are you?

Um, I don't know.

Every step I take I'm starting to feel a bit more like me. It's weird.

Probably cos you're putting distance between yourself and Juniper.

Don't start that again. Well, I am right, aren't I?

It's been a lot.

The book shop...

..being made councillor, all of it.

Honestly, I'd have told everyone to back off.

I feel like I really started something with the memorial.

Now I feel like I've just got to make everything work.

Well, what if you...? What if you don't?

What are you scared of?

Look, I am starving.

Do you have any money?

Ah, well, I have this, but we need it for the bus to get home.

Doesn't sound like you want to go home, Jaws.

Well, I think I'd like to keep the option.

OK, fine.

We shall do it the fun way.

Come on.

Oh.

There's glass everywhere.

Be careful.

Mm.

Who'd do such a thing?

Emily found it this way.

It's very sad.

What happened?

Never had vandalism like this in the village before.

I always said

leaving a child in charge of a valuable building like this

was a bad idea.

Addie wouldn't do this.

She's been under a lot of pressure.

Running this place, sitting on the council.

Growing up is hard enough without all that to contend with.

I asked too much of her.

We all know she's fragile.

Something obviously just snapped.

It has happened before, hasn't it, darling?

We all remember.

Luckily the damage looks superficial.

I'm going to help James check Juniper gardens.

Stick together please.

Emily, would you mind taking a few notes for me?

I have to look for Addie.

We can get this place on the market by the end of the week.

Ooh.

Thank you.

Follow my lead. Hi!

Hi, can I help you?

Yes, Bonnie Bridges. Potato Board.

This is my associate Adeline "The Inspiration" Darrow.

We're reviewing chips in the local area,

and we were wondering if you could provide us with a free sample.

Works every time.

Oh, delicious!

Mmm, Potato Board would be impressed.

How do you think of things to say?

Mostly I just open my mouth, and stuff comes out.

I should probably try and work on being more honest.

Might be an idea.

She was wearing like an olive jump suit.

It's old.

Um, she might have her raincoat on.

It's, um, it's multicoloured.

It's from, you know, it's a present.

We can show you her things upstairs?

You know, I always wished we'd talked more,

when Bonnie had her shutdown.

I didn't appreciate how hard it must have been for her.

And for you.

Keedie had a bad one a couple of years after and...

I know what it's like to get that call from the school.

I didn't get a call from the school.

I got a call from the hospital.

I don't know how much Keedie's told you

about what happened to me.

Um, she finds it hard to talk about.

Yeah, well, it's not a nice story.

It's not a Verity Loveday novel that's for sure.

There's no heroes.

Something happened at school?

Sorry, I don't mean to push.

No, no, no.

Um...

I hardly remember it, really.

It's like trying to get back to a dream once you've woken up.

It takes doctors months to find autism,

but it takes bullies five minutes, right?

And there was nothing different about that day, either.

I'd sung in assemblies before, and it was all very paint by numbers.

And then it wasn't.

Then everything was...

Sore? Yeah.

Exactly.

Same old kids, same old everything.

Just whispering and pointing and pulling faces.

Same teachers just rolling their eyes.

No-one stepped in.

No-one did anything.

Last thing I remember was feeling the dust

and the fluff on the floor and...

..feeling like...

..no matter what I did it would never be OK.

We couldn't understand.

She'd had meltdowns before.

We'd dealt with them.

Nothing was different about this day.

Nothing had changed.

Why was my daughter in hospital?

Then I saw her.

It was like all the light had been taken out of her.

Bonnie?

Hello, darling.

Bonnie?

She was in another world.

A separate place.

Bonnie, darling, it's Mummy.

And nobody seemed to know if she'd ever come back.

The doctors checked me over and over again.

Asked a million questions.

They ran tests.

Then it became clear that whatever was wrong with me

was something buried very deep.

They wouldn't let us take her home.

Our own daughter.

All we wanted was to make her better.

Better?

Don't judge me, Bess.

I'm not.

It's just that word.

I just stood by her bed

and I made a promise,

to me, to Tom, to Bonnie,

that I would get her out and I would never let it happen again.

You left so suddenly.

Keedie was distraught.

We moved.

Made a fresh start and, um...

I did a bunch of therapy.

I saw nutritionists,

psychologists.

There was one woman that was really obsessed with my elbows.

Keeds and I have done some therapy.

Some of it was useful, some of it wasn't, not elbows, though.

Yeah, well, for me,

therapy just taught me how to mask really, really well.

She got so much better.

We could go places and people would never have known.

She was just like everyone else.

My mum loves me.

I know she loves me, I...

She's just so scared...

..that I'm autistic, it's, like...

It's like she wants to draw it out of me.

But that's not...

She wants me to overcome it.

She's ashamed of me.

I'd do anything to protect my daughter.

Of course.

The world is disabling.

People are unkind.

I just...

I want her to fit in.

It sounds like you want her to mask.

Is that so bad?

Keedie's thinking about uni, right?

Aren't you scared she'll be a target?

Don't you ever just once wish that her and Addie

were just like everyone else?

Maybe on the bad days.

But I refuse to try and change my children.

Or exhaust them by asking them to be something they just aren't.

They're like little sparks.

All three of them.

And we just have to keep them flickering away.

Hope they'll burn bright.

Be there if they start to fade.

Well, for us, therapy worked.

I got my Bonnie back.

Things were great.

Oh, my love.

Until Keedie showed up.

DOOR BELL RINGS

Hi, Mrs Bridges.

Keedie!

Is Bonnie in? She's resting at the moment.

Keedie was the only person who liked what was beneath the mask.

Hearing her voice was like waking up.

And the rest you know.

End of story. End of chips.

I just got it so wrong.

Inviting your parents.

I just didn't think someone could be so...

I don't know, like that.

My parents are so... Understanding?

Supportive?

Reactive? Flexible?

Yeah, well...

..they ate the how to do autism handbook.

I'm really happy you had that growing up.

Lighthouse calling your name, Jaws?

Let's go!

I haven't been here for years, you know?

My mum used to bring us here all the time.

I'm scared of heights

so Keedie and Nina would go with her at the top

and I would stay down here with my dad

and put my finger here, and, um,

imagine what it was like at the top.

Well, I begged my mum to go up,

but she wouldn't let me.

It's too much of a stimulation risk, apparently.

What?

Isn't it obvious?

We've got to get up there, Jaws!

Er, no.

I can't.

It's therapy 1-0-1.

It's my desires, your fears.

It's two autistic girls and a lighthouse,

what could possibly go wrong?

It'll look different from up there, I promise.

I'm not sure.

I'm not letting you stay down here with your brass rivet.

Come on.

Let's get overstimulated!

Come on!

Oh, I don't feel good.

Can you slow down, please?

Don't look down.

Oh! I said don't.

Ah, I...I can't do this.

Um, I have to go back.

No, no, it's OK. We're nearly there.

Come on.

Imagine being out at sea and

the waves are crashing over your boat and...

..you feel like you're not going to make it, but then...

..suddenly...

..a light.

Something to head for.

A chance.

Whoa.

Oh.

That's what I wanted the book shop to be.

Addie, I'm so sorry.

I was so angry... Don't.

Not up here.

This is away from all that.

OK.

Do you mind if I try something Audrey taught me?

Yeah, go for it.

You might want to cover your ears.

OK, Audrey, this is for you.

SHE SCREAMS

Sometimes you've just got to scream. Try it.

SHE SCREAMS

THEY BOTH SCREAM

No. They're not at the house.

Tom's on his way here.

Hi, thanks for coming.

This is all my fault.

Keeds, you couldn't have known that this was going to happen.

I...I did.

Addie was getting hyper fixated, and I should have stopped it.

No, she's...she's just growing up.

You know, making her own choices.

Well, I don't want her to!

I need her here, at home.

I need to know when I go to bed that she's there,

reading a shark book, or planning some great event,

or working out how to save the world.

I just, I need her.

I know. I can't go to uni, Nina.

But you found that amazing course.

No, Addie needs me.

She needs you to be happy.

It's fine. I've made up my mind.

I'm not sending my application.

It's getting late. The last bus leaves soon.

Oh, but there is so much to do!

Ah, arcade games!

And Morena the Mermaid!

Give me a pound.

We need it for the bus.

For the boring bus that neither of us want to get on?

I want to go home.

Well, I'm only going home if Morena the Mermaid tells me to.

I mean it, Addie.

I am sick of choices.

I just need a sign.

If she says anything about going home, or family,

or doing the right thing, then I'll get on the bus.

We won't have the full fare.

They're not going to leave

two autistic girls on their own, are they?

They'll spare us a pound, I know it.

Come on, Jaws.

You want to make me better, don't you?

That's it. There's nowhere else to look.

We need to keep going.

It'll be dark soon.

Please, I just feel like I need to.

The police are at the Darrows'.

They'll be looking everywhere.

We've been out for hours and she's not here.

I'll keep going on my own.

No, Jenna's right.

We've already done everything we can.

Emily, it's all right.

Really, it is.

I just feel so bad... We know.

And Addie knows.

OK.

It's my future foretold.

WHIRRING

Oh, you're kidding.

No, no, no, no. Give me my pound back!

Bonnie, come on, the bus is going to come.

No! No, I need to know!

Bonnie, leave it.

Come on! Bonnie, Bonnie. I need to know!

Bonnie. No!

I'm not going!

Come on, I need to know!

Yes! Yes!

"Don't look back."

Pretty definite.

It's just a random machine.

We need to go home.

Not a chance, Addie.

Not with Mum trying to control me.

And living as a normal...

..boring, beige Bonnie,

stuck in her room trying to stop her hands dancing.

I forgive you,

OK?

For trying to fix me.

Like they all try to fix me.

I like you and maybe one day we'll meet in the future.

See you. Stop.

Are you going to say something inspirational?

Don't talk to me like that. Oh!

Somebody build this girl a memorial.

People love you.

Keedie loves you, your family loves you.

You said they love you.

You need to give them a chance to be better,

to make things right.

It's not fair to make them worry like this.

I liked you better before you went up the lighthouse.

I'm glad I went up there.

It helped me work it out.

You asked me what I was scared of.

What happens when the plates stop spinning? Well, I'll tell you.

When there's nothing to show them,

it's just me.

And that's not just scary, it's...

..it's terrifying.

But I'm not going to run away.

I'm going home and I'm going to face this feeling.

And you can either come with me or you can stay here

and continue hiding.

Choice is yours.

OK, thank you.

There's still no sign of them.

We're going to broaden the search and put out more alerts, but...

..we're losing the light.

It's not looking promising.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, thank goodness!

She's back!

She's home! They both are!

You can't do that.

You just can't, kid.

I just couldn't leave her.

Bonnie.

Oh, my love.

I'm so sorry, Mum.

How about some pizza?

I think everybody needs to eat something hot.

I've got a couple in the freezer.

We're leaving.

Please. Stay.

Right, come on Bonnie. Let's go.

Let Bonnie catch her breath.

We're leaving. Stay away from my daughter.

I mean it.

Wait, please.

Don't be scared.

Leave it, Jaws.

It's over.

DOOR CLOSES

Addie.

Do you think she'll be OK?

I don't know.

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