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1
00:00:11,348 --> 00:00:13,530
Xena... Wake up...
2
00:00:14,345 --> 00:00:15,985
What is it?
3
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,600
Foot rot!
4
00:00:18,813 --> 00:00:20,613
Yeah, that's foot rot, all right!
5
00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:25,398
It itches like crazy.
6
00:00:26,681 --> 00:00:29,071
Well, there's nothing I can do
for you now.
7
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:31,672
Maybe if you had 'a kept it dry
like I told you...
8
00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:34,506
No, no, no! It was your idea
to traipse through a dozen swamps...
9
00:00:34,507 --> 00:00:36,624
...to get to this god-forsaken
place!
10
00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:40,567
Why couldn't you just leave your horse
in a barn like a normal person?
11
00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:44,838
Argo doesn't like being couped up.
Besides, this valley's her home.
12
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:48,243
It's got plenty of space to run...
Lots of grass to eat...
13
00:00:48,268 --> 00:00:50,993
Plenty of bugs...
Lots of infestation...
14
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:54,905
Hey, I didn't stop looking for you,
and the same goes for Argo.
15
00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:58,267
What was that?
16
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,000
What?
17
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:02,181
Something just hopped out of your bedroll.
18
00:01:06,402 --> 00:01:07,922
Hold still.
19
00:01:08,457 --> 00:01:10,457
What is it?
A bald spot?
20
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,120
No, it's lice.
21
00:01:14,402 --> 00:01:18,310
I have not got lice. You think
I wouldn't know if I had lice?
22
00:01:20,102 --> 00:01:22,302
Lice...
I don't think so.
23
00:01:23,776 --> 00:01:26,559
-Maybe if we put your bedroll in the river...
-This way.
24
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,370
Let it soak there, then slap it up
against a rock or two.
25
00:01:29,371 --> 00:01:31,757
That would probably get rid
of the little buggers.
26
00:01:31,902 --> 00:01:34,407
-This is Argo's trail. I'm sure of it.
-Then again...
27
00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:36,359
It could be too late.
28
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,130
There might be a family of badgers
living in there by now.
29
00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:40,520
Give it a rest, Gabrielle.
30
00:01:40,521 --> 00:01:42,849
No, not till you clean up
your act, Xena.
31
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,205
Hey! I'm not the one
with a fungus among us.
32
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:49,143
Oh, yeah, that's poetic... Did one
of your bug friends whisper that in your ear?
33
00:01:51,105 --> 00:01:52,525
Did you hear that?
34
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,078
There she is.
35
00:02:03,954 --> 00:02:05,490
She ran away.
36
00:02:05,853 --> 00:02:07,587
Maybe it wasn't Argo.
37
00:02:07,612 --> 00:02:09,881
It was Argo.
I know my own horse.
38
00:02:10,276 --> 00:02:12,377
Well, she didn't seem
to know you.
39
00:02:12,402 --> 00:02:15,906
Maybe she heard us talking about the lice
and then she... she was scared away.
40
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,943
All right, that's enough.
41
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:20,322
Oh, you wanna piece of me, huh?
42
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,449
Fine, I'll give ya a piece of me!
Come and get it. Come on.
43
00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:27,370
I'm blind!
I'm blind!
44
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,193
I'm blind!
45
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,877
I'm blind!
I'm blind!
46
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,535
Oh, I can see.
It's a miracle!
47
00:02:41,446 --> 00:02:42,648
Hi.
48
00:02:43,756 --> 00:02:47,253
I figured I'd find you guys here.
The trail was too easy to follow.
49
00:02:47,278 --> 00:02:50,318
-Any idiot could find ya.
-Evidently.
50
00:02:50,757 --> 00:02:53,577
-What brings you here, Joxer?
-Well, I'm on a mission.
51
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,714
There's a band of marauders
that's raiding a village...
52
00:02:55,715 --> 00:02:57,601
...and they vowed to come back
and finish the job.
53
00:02:57,602 --> 00:03:00,289
But the villagers paid me
to protect them.
54
00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:03,559
So, let me guess.
You want our help?
55
00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:06,422
No... No... No...
56
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,965
I've got things
completely under control.
57
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,480
-When do you want us to start?
-How's now sound?
58
00:03:11,515 --> 00:03:13,685
-Fine.
-What about Argo?
59
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,395
She saw me.
She knows I'm here.
60
00:03:16,992 --> 00:03:19,051
Ah, she'll probably meet up
with us later.
61
00:03:19,076 --> 00:03:21,540
Ok.
Then, it's settled.
62
00:03:22,024 --> 00:03:23,504
We're a team!
63
00:03:23,505 --> 00:03:26,935
Joxer, the Mighty, and his mighty
band of mighty men...
64
00:03:26,936 --> 00:03:28,557
...Girls...
Uh... Mighty...
65
00:03:28,592 --> 00:03:32,204
Joxer, the Mighty, and his fighting,
mighty, women fighters...
66
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,240
Fighting...
Mighty...
67
00:03:41,729 --> 00:03:44,818
In the time of ancient gods,...
68
00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:48,170
...warlords...
69
00:03:48,522 --> 00:03:49,582
...and kings...
70
00:03:50,057 --> 00:03:53,772
...a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
71
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:05,013
She was Xena.
72
00:04:05,351 --> 00:04:06,953
A mighty princess...
73
00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:09,053
...forged in the heat of battle.
74
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:14,900
The power...
75
00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:18,195
The passion...
76
00:04:21,152 --> 00:04:22,490
The danger...
77
00:04:28,009 --> 00:04:30,651
Her courage will change the world.
78
00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:35,142
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS
79
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,814
That's strange...
80
00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:44,493
Argo seems to be deliberately avoiding me.
81
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,600
-Sum'in's wrong.
-Yeah, you're telling me...
82
00:04:48,601 --> 00:04:49,269
Xena...
83
00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:53,000
It's green. It's red.
It's on the move.
84
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,640
-Sum'in's bothering Argo.
-Hey! Hey! Human suffering here.
85
00:04:57,675 --> 00:05:00,337
Xena, my fungus is spreading
like wildfire.
86
00:05:00,372 --> 00:05:03,000
Gabrielle, just take your mind
off the itching.
87
00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:04,613
What about breakfast?
88
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,596
We're out of food.
89
00:05:07,794 --> 00:05:09,396
Ah, hang on.
90
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,336
Here's some berries.
91
00:05:12,337 --> 00:05:14,141
No! Don't eat those.
92
00:05:14,142 --> 00:05:15,939
They can play tricks on the mind.
93
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,743
Wait a minute.
94
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,347
There's a rabbit over there.
95
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,840
-I'll catch the rabbit.
-What? You're gonna catch the rabbit?
96
00:05:25,841 --> 00:05:27,005
Yeah!
97
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,825
After all these years of watching you
slaughter Nature's creatures...
98
00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:31,226
...I can do this.
99
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,763
Look, I don't want you
near the food.
100
00:05:33,764 --> 00:05:36,004
A lice-infested rabbit
is not on my diet.
101
00:05:36,039 --> 00:05:37,667
I don't have lice!
102
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,868
It's dandruff!
103
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,640
It's a minor scalp irritation,
that's all.
104
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,367
Whatever.
I'll catch the rabbit.
105
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:46,676
Well, go ahead.
106
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,928
-No skin off my back.
-Hardy.
107
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,781
Joxer, tell me about
these marauders.
108
00:05:53,782 --> 00:05:55,182
Oh, yeah. Well...
109
00:05:55,183 --> 00:05:57,158
They thundered into town
on horseback...
110
00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,152
...cutting down everything
in their path.
111
00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:02,839
I tried to stop 'em, but,
of course, I was outnumbered.
112
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,640
-How many'ja see?
-Up close and personal? One.
113
00:06:06,675 --> 00:06:08,521
-One man?
-One fist...
114
00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:10,519
...but it was headed for my face
at the time.
115
00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:13,440
I did get this.
116
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,399
It's scythian knife.
117
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,965
Is that bad?
118
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,600
Well, it ain't good.
119
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,080
Scythians are pure evil.
120
00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:37,405
Look...
121
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,121
What a magnificent beast!
122
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,765
What are you waitin' for?
Get me that horse!
123
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,197
With a horse like that under me...
124
00:07:07,409 --> 00:07:09,167
...I'd be unstoppable.
125
00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:11,200
And evil will rule the world!
126
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,640
Bunny?
127
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:29,820
Here, bunny, bunny, bunny,
bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny.
128
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:42,000
Are ya hungry?
129
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,720
Come here, bunny.
130
00:07:52,892 --> 00:07:54,092
Yeah.
131
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,720
It's good.
132
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,440
You're such a cute little rabbit.
133
00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,374
Hey, don't scratch me!
134
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,792
So, those scythians
are pretty good horsemen, huh?
135
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,083
The best.
136
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:24,537
Their warriors will stop at nothing.
They're tough and ruthless.
137
00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:28,085
Oh, and their women
are rough and toothless.
138
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:32,040
-How many roads into that village?
-One, but it's pretty treacherous.
139
00:08:32,075 --> 00:08:33,456
Well, that's good.
140
00:08:33,457 --> 00:08:36,838
I'll have to work quickly but,
if I can block off that road...
141
00:08:37,079 --> 00:08:38,861
Wait a minute, Xena,
wait a minute.
142
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:42,083
I know, I appreciate what you're tryin' to do,
but those villagers hired me.
143
00:08:42,084 --> 00:08:45,083
And only Joxer, the Mighty,
is gonna stop those scythians.
144
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,915
Joxer, I once knew a warrior
who tried to stop them.
145
00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:51,098
They buried him in Sparta,
Athens and Carthage.
146
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,440
Whaddya mean?
147
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,996
They buried him in Sparta,
Athens and Carthage.
148
00:08:57,527 --> 00:08:59,087
Think about it, Joxer.
149
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,689
Oh, it's a riddle!
150
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:03,975
Ok, can I do one?
A monkey, a rat and a beaver...
151
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,355
-Joxer...
-What?
152
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:31,666
Have you noticed anything about my hair?
153
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,158
Oh... Yeah.
154
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,787
-Looks lovely!
-No!
155
00:09:36,788 --> 00:09:39,947
Gabrielle...
She had this crazy idea about...
156
00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:41,548
...bugs or something.
157
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,649
Oh, your lice...
Yeah, I can see 'em from here.
158
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:46,483
I don't have lice.
159
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,151
Hey, listen. I just thought ya
liked bein' filthy.
160
00:09:55,152 --> 00:09:57,385
Made ya look... tough,
or something.
161
00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:59,545
-I'm not filthy!
-Hey...
162
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:01,787
I'm not the one who has the lice.
163
00:10:02,016 --> 00:10:03,616
I don't have lice!
164
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,073
Well, girls, anyone want
some more radish stew?
165
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,591
You know...
It's not my favorite thing to eat, either.
166
00:10:20,592 --> 00:10:23,580
...But somebody let
the wittle wabbit get away.
167
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:25,714
Joxer...
168
00:10:26,688 --> 00:10:28,878
You're lucky it was me
back there.
169
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,942
That little bunny
would have ripped your head off.
170
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,696
Well, I'm serious!
That was one tough rabbit.
171
00:10:37,697 --> 00:10:39,316
Yeah, sure it was.
172
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,280
Real man-killer.
173
00:10:41,881 --> 00:10:42,398
Xena...
174
00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:45,800
If it'll make ya feel better,
I'll go look for Argo.
175
00:10:45,898 --> 00:10:47,098
Oh, yeah.
176
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,920
Yeah, that'd take a load off.
177
00:10:52,221 --> 00:10:54,840
She can smell me from miles away.
Here, Argo!
178
00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:56,815
Maybe she's enjoying
her freedom.
179
00:10:56,816 --> 00:10:58,861
No, she's angry.
180
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:00,645
Why?
181
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,885
I've never left her alone
for this long.
182
00:11:03,642 --> 00:11:05,258
I know what it is.
183
00:11:05,259 --> 00:11:07,872
She saw me ride off another horse!
184
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,704
Are you saying that
she's jealous?
185
00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:13,400
She's hurt!
She's gotta be hurt by that!
186
00:11:14,359 --> 00:11:15,217
Xena...
187
00:11:15,435 --> 00:11:18,031
Maybe she's just visiting
her old haunts.
188
00:11:18,032 --> 00:11:20,424
I mean, this is
where you found her, right?
189
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:22,278
Yeah...
190
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,321
Yeah, I thought she was the most beautiful
horse I'd ever seen.
191
00:11:26,322 --> 00:11:29,329
We bonded immediately.
It was like we were made for one another.
192
00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,130
We even knew what each other was...
193
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,641
Ah, yeah, that's it...
194
00:11:36,642 --> 00:11:39,937
That's not my chakram that you're scratching
your fungus on, is it?
195
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,920
Yeah. Yeah.
It is your chakram.
196
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,080
Xena... Come on.
I just need relief!
197
00:11:49,081 --> 00:11:50,250
Gabrielle!
198
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,928
Look, my fingernails are worn to the nubs!
I need to scratch!
199
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,800
No, you shouldn't be scratching, anyway.
It'll only make things worse.
200
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,925
I'm not gonna give it to you.
201
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,962
Don't make me hurt you,
"Scabrielle"...
202
00:12:04,997 --> 00:12:07,964
All right, "Eczema",
what're you gonna do? Huh?
203
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,140
You're gonna use your pressure points...
Go on. Go ahead. Go for it.
204
00:12:11,141 --> 00:12:13,328
You can't touch me.
Come on, come on!
205
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,560
You're really tough now,
Warrior Princess?
206
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,678
I couldn't find Argo
anywhere.
207
00:12:22,335 --> 00:12:24,257
And we had such hopes...
208
00:12:24,282 --> 00:12:26,403
Hey, your hands are tied!
209
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,130
You see, this was Xena's idea
of a joke.
210
00:12:31,524 --> 00:12:33,519
Funny, huh?
You can untie me.
211
00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:35,514
Ok.
Hey, where is Xena?
212
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:39,584
She went to start a rockslide to block
the path to the village.
213
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,557
Well, how are we gonna
get there?
214
00:12:43,798 --> 00:12:45,840
She's starting it
behind us.
215
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:51,400
Our path will be clear?
Anyone following us will be blocked?
216
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:54,840
Don't be such a...
217
00:12:55,921 --> 00:12:57,396
A what?
218
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,172
Never mind!
219
00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:03,427
Untie me... Please.
220
00:13:03,428 --> 00:13:05,189
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
221
00:13:05,296 --> 00:13:08,382
You were just gonna call me an idiot or a...
222
00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:10,791
...a dork or something, weren't you?
223
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,049
Joxer, I just need a scratch!
224
00:13:16,107 --> 00:13:17,593
Please!
225
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,307
All right! I'm sorry.
226
00:13:21,308 --> 00:13:23,245
I didn't mean to snap your head off.
227
00:13:23,246 --> 00:13:25,465
It's my fungus talking!
228
00:13:25,466 --> 00:13:28,257
Joxer, come on,
you know how I feel about you!
229
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,200
How do you feel about me?
230
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,550
Well, you know...
231
00:13:37,481 --> 00:13:39,308
I value...
232
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,240
My what?
233
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,294
What?
234
00:13:45,803 --> 00:13:47,203
What'd you say?
235
00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:52,004
I don't think this is a really good time...
right now.
236
00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:55,438
Oh, sure it is, Gabrielle.
Go on, spit it out!
237
00:14:09,437 --> 00:14:10,637
Come on!
238
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,087
I don't ask for much.
I just want my pony back.
239
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:34,200
-Where's Gabrielle?
-Nature called.
240
00:14:34,235 --> 00:14:36,413
No, it screamed
like a wild banshee!
241
00:14:36,414 --> 00:14:40,010
You know... Argo's a nice horse.
I'm sure a lot of people would like to have her.
242
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,265
Are you out of your mind?
243
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:45,256
Argo wouldn't go to anybody else.
She'd die first!
244
00:14:45,257 --> 00:14:46,982
Argo... Argo... Argo...
245
00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:49,981
Someone walked by with an apple
and she followed him home.
246
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,280
That's what horses do!
247
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,135
-What did you put in my breakfast?
-Just radishes and water. Why?
248
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,678
My stomach feels like monday morning
in Tartarus.
249
00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:01,401
You know... I just think you're feeling
a little puffy, irritable, and bloated today.
250
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,199
Give me the scroll.
251
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,703
Next time,
find your own bush!
252
00:15:08,704 --> 00:15:11,689
Girls, please,
there's bushes enough for everybody.
253
00:15:21,868 --> 00:15:23,268
Watch behind you.
254
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,815
A landslide has blocked the route that
the rest of the men were to use to join us.
255
00:15:43,816 --> 00:15:46,402
They'll have to take a detour
and that could take a while.
256
00:15:46,437 --> 00:15:48,555
-Shall we proceed without them?
-No.
257
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,472
We'll wait here
till they get through.
258
00:15:54,397 --> 00:15:56,229
Give me more time to break her.
259
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:00,751
You think that'll work?
260
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,256
I hope so.
261
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,840
I'd hate to have to kill
such a beautiful animal.
262
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,064
Fear not!
Joxer, the Mighty, has returned!
263
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,710
Here's the guy that ran out on us!
264
00:16:36,711 --> 00:16:37,911
-Get him!
-Wait. Wait.
265
00:16:37,912 --> 00:16:40,453
Wait, wait.
I'm Joxer, the Mighty, remember?
266
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:42,876
Joxer, the Mighty
267
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,297
He roams through the countryside...
268
00:16:45,298 --> 00:16:48,084
Oh, not that song again!
I can't get it out of my head!
269
00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:50,237
The meter is awful!
Kill him!
270
00:16:50,238 --> 00:16:52,528
Now, wait a minute.
Hold on, hold on, hold it, hold it.
271
00:16:52,529 --> 00:16:55,380
Look, I realize you haven't been
real happy with my services,...
272
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:59,155
...so, I've recruited
two great warriors for you.
273
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,144
Meet Xena, the Warrior Princess...
274
00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:04,645
...and her sidekick, Gabrielle!
275
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,322
They're gonna defend our village?
276
00:17:11,086 --> 00:17:14,291
Yeah, but we're gonna need a little help!
277
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:20,873
Go to your houses and collect together
all your your tools and your weapons.
278
00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:25,013
Give Joxer a list
of every able-bodied villager...
279
00:17:25,048 --> 00:17:27,508
-...and secure the outhouse.
-The outhouse?
280
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,129
-Is that important?
-It is to me!
281
00:17:31,605 --> 00:17:33,005
Get out of my way!
282
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,920
Don't look, children.
283
00:17:42,927 --> 00:17:45,127
-Oh, yeah.
-That'll teach ya.
284
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,321
What are you? Crazy? The scythians
will wipe the floor with these two.
285
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,884
Relax!
Everything's under control!
286
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,336
Listen, would you guys stop
scratching and picking for a minute?
287
00:18:00,337 --> 00:18:01,925
Everyone's gettin' nervous!
288
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,955
Would you go out there and flex
a little warrior muscle, please, and maybe...
289
00:18:04,956 --> 00:18:06,776
...kill something?
290
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,377
We're doing all we can to avert
an all-out war with the scythians.
291
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,780
But in the unlikely event that
you will be called upon to act...
292
00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:23,014
...you'll need to use one of these.
293
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,800
I need a volunteer.
294
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,080
I pick you.
295
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,986
Yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
296
00:18:31,011 --> 00:18:32,965
Don't be shy, your mother wasn't.
297
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,212
-All right, hold that. Got it firm?
-Yeah.
298
00:18:35,535 --> 00:18:36,954
All right, you got it?
299
00:18:38,046 --> 00:18:39,604
Oh, yeah, you got it!
300
00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:45,351
Hold it. Even if everyone in the village
learns to use a sword...
301
00:18:45,352 --> 00:18:47,125
...we're still in trouble.
302
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,725
The scythians have horses...
And lots of 'em!
303
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,353
Good point.
I'm glad you brought that up.
304
00:18:52,354 --> 00:18:54,390
See, I'm lookin'
for a horse....
305
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:58,419
...My horse. It's gold,
with a white mane...
306
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:01,815
One horse? Doesn't sound
like much of a plan to me.
307
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,175
The scythians could be back
at any moment.
308
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:07,221
-What are you gonna do about it?
-Now, you listen to me!
309
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:10,267
We have already blocked the roads
so they won't be here for a while.
310
00:19:10,268 --> 00:19:12,082
And that'll give us time
to prepare.
311
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,600
Here's what we'll need.
312
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,706
What is it?
A list of weapons?
313
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,622
Linseed root?
Willow bark?
314
00:19:23,815 --> 00:19:27,246
Uh, yeah.
We'll also need a room and a bath.
315
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,976
You can stay here.
316
00:19:28,977 --> 00:19:31,966
And you're welcome to use
the town's natural mineral bath.
317
00:19:32,428 --> 00:19:33,628
Good.
318
00:19:34,189 --> 00:19:35,223
Gabrielle?
319
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:37,840
Let's go.
320
00:19:40,499 --> 00:19:41,219
Hey...
321
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:47,506
You get used to the smell.
322
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,544
Are you sure
this is necessary?
323
00:19:53,545 --> 00:19:56,127
Only if you wanna get rid
of your fungus?
324
00:19:57,047 --> 00:19:59,851
What do the scythians want
with these people?
325
00:20:00,356 --> 00:20:03,160
They're just poor...
They have nothing but mineral baths.
326
00:20:03,195 --> 00:20:04,886
And greek fire.
327
00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:07,607
What's greek fire?
328
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,200
See over there?
329
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,267
That's oil that's been heated
deep in the ground...
330
00:20:14,268 --> 00:20:16,683
In the wrong hands
it can be very dangerous.
331
00:20:17,437 --> 00:20:19,054
Guys! Guys!
332
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,387
Great news.
I talked to the villagers...
333
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,390
They've decided not to stone you...
334
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,400
...Us.
335
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,365
Decided not to stone... me.
336
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,079
Xena, here's that medicine
you wanted.
337
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,412
You were right. All the villagers
are having stomach problems.
338
00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:42,029
-How'd ya know?
-Just a wild guess.
339
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,652
Oh, well...
I got that list you wanted.
340
00:20:44,653 --> 00:20:48,946
I've arranged all the villagers by height,
weight, and fighting ability.
341
00:20:49,294 --> 00:20:51,986
So, I'm gonna go marshal the troops.
342
00:20:52,011 --> 00:20:54,811
Let's hope we feel better
before it comes to that.
343
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,382
This stuff stinks!
344
00:21:00,111 --> 00:21:01,982
What is this? Sheep dung?
345
00:21:01,983 --> 00:21:03,383
Goat poo.
346
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,338
He's kidding, right?
347
00:21:11,690 --> 00:21:14,160
Just, yike.
348
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,663
Well, it's working, isn't it?
349
00:21:35,490 --> 00:21:37,080
Why, I oughtta...
350
00:21:41,274 --> 00:21:44,091
No, lady!
No, no, lady, lady! No!
351
00:21:44,092 --> 00:21:46,292
Oh, my Zeus, she killed Lenny!
No! No!
352
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,507
You thinking about Argo?
353
00:21:49,413 --> 00:21:51,079
It's hard not to.
354
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,133
Xena, I know how close you too are. But I don't
think she's holding a grudge against you.
355
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,628
You don't know
how moody she can be.
356
00:21:58,952 --> 00:22:00,734
She doesn't open up to you.
357
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,817
She doesn't like me, does she?
358
00:22:04,438 --> 00:22:07,518
What is it? Is it my personality?
What? My hair color?
359
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,532
The fact that I talk about her
like she's a real person?
360
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,264
You know... We gotta watch
for that innkeeper.
361
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:19,038
Why? What does he have?
What? What? Ringworm?
362
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,771
No, he's in with the scythians.
363
00:22:21,772 --> 00:22:23,372
How do you know that?
364
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,257
His place is the only one in town
that isn't damaged.
365
00:22:26,258 --> 00:22:30,273
My guess is he's already sent out a messenger
and a scythian assassin is on his way.
366
00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:32,621
Maybe he'll put me out of my misery.
367
00:22:32,622 --> 00:22:35,228
-What are you drinkin'?
-Linseed root.
368
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,208
You said it was good for my skin.
369
00:22:38,209 --> 00:22:40,697
On your skin.
You're not supposed to drink it.
370
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,755
Well, so...
I mean, what could happen?
371
00:22:46,486 --> 00:22:48,293
Your mouth could go numb.
372
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,520
I can't feel my tongue.
373
00:22:53,052 --> 00:22:54,852
Xena, I can't feel my tongue.
374
00:22:54,973 --> 00:22:57,482
The numbness should go away in a few days.
375
00:22:57,517 --> 00:22:58,699
What?
376
00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:03,110
It's not true.
377
00:23:50,938 --> 00:23:52,138
What the...?
378
00:24:04,830 --> 00:24:06,906
Gabrielle...
379
00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:08,657
Wake up.
380
00:24:08,975 --> 00:24:10,398
Stomach...
381
00:24:10,399 --> 00:24:12,801
I did it.
Find out what you can.
382
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,649
Xena had just cut off the flow of blood
to your brain.
383
00:24:24,650 --> 00:24:27,193
What?
What did you say?
384
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,920
I said that Xena had just cut off
the flow of blood to your brain.
385
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,541
Talk.
386
00:24:37,535 --> 00:24:38,735
Talk!
387
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,092
Tell us what you know.
388
00:24:41,093 --> 00:24:43,760
Help! Somebody!
389
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,744
Keep her away from me.
390
00:24:48,008 --> 00:24:49,416
Keep talkin'.
391
00:24:49,829 --> 00:24:51,029
All right...
392
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,866
I'm Euryalus.
393
00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:56,509
My brother's is Acestus,
the leader of the scythian army.
394
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,245
-What's he got up his sleeve?
-I'm not tellin' you what he's got planned.
395
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,880
All right. Gabrielle, go in there and
give him a nice, big kiss.
396
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:05,894
All right!
397
00:25:07,277 --> 00:25:09,125
As soon as the rest of our men
arrive...
398
00:25:09,126 --> 00:25:11,745
...he plans to attack the town
from both ends at once.
399
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,380
He'll lead his elite guard
from the south.
400
00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:16,675
I'll bring in the rest of the army
from the north.
401
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,505
I think the last part of that plan's
just changed.
402
00:25:19,506 --> 00:25:21,124
You don't know my brother.
403
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:23,525
He's not gonna leave me here
in this jail cell to rot.
404
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,920
Don't tell us about rot!
405
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,360
It'd be easier if we had Argo.
406
00:25:34,395 --> 00:25:36,757
-What?
-Argo!
407
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,520
Yeah... It'd be a lot easier
if we had Argo.
408
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,240
Xena, what is it?
409
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,181
It's Argo!
410
00:26:33,819 --> 00:26:35,414
What's wrong with you?
411
00:26:36,959 --> 00:26:38,359
What's wrong with you?
412
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,167
That's it, girl!
413
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,506
Come on, it's me!
414
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,079
Here!
Tie this to the bars!
415
00:27:02,297 --> 00:27:03,497
Come on!
416
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,274
We'll be back!
417
00:27:59,005 --> 00:28:02,219
Greek fire, it will be ours!
And we will rule the world!
418
00:28:02,220 --> 00:28:03,460
Come on!
419
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,816
I just can't believe that Argo
would let someone else ride her.
420
00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:24,496
What we had
was such a beautiful thing...
421
00:28:25,672 --> 00:28:27,582
I ruined it!
422
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,102
Boy, did you see that horse
that scythian was ridin' on?
423
00:28:31,103 --> 00:28:32,891
-What a beaut!
-Joxer!
424
00:28:32,892 --> 00:28:34,553
Joxer, it was Argo.
425
00:28:34,578 --> 00:28:37,570
It looked a little like Argo too.
He was kickin' her real hard.
426
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,160
What?
427
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,547
Xena...
428
00:28:41,708 --> 00:28:44,004
Maybe Argo didn't hear you.
429
00:28:44,005 --> 00:28:45,565
Oh, she heard me all right.
430
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,609
So why was she lettin'
that bad guy ride her?
431
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:49,254
I don't know!
432
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,560
But I'm gonna get her back.
433
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,722
-Joxer...
-What?
434
00:28:55,723 --> 00:28:58,122
-You're the secret weapon!
-Me?
435
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,440
You're going to neutralize the rest of the army,
while I get my horse back.
436
00:29:02,475 --> 00:29:04,020
I am?
437
00:29:04,021 --> 00:29:05,820
I mean, I am.
438
00:29:05,821 --> 00:29:07,402
The whole amy?
439
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,434
I don't know if my lice has fungus
or my fungus have lice.
440
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,400
Who is that?
441
00:29:22,401 --> 00:29:23,565
This...
442
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,735
...is the cook from Acestus' army...
443
00:29:25,736 --> 00:29:27,940
...who will ensure
that Joxer's made welcome.
444
00:29:27,965 --> 00:29:29,925
Do you really think
that Joxer can do it?
445
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,647
Gabrielle, he gave the villagers
a stomach virus.
446
00:29:32,648 --> 00:29:34,278
He gave us a stomach virus.
447
00:29:34,279 --> 00:29:36,733
With any luck, he'll do the same
for the scythian army.
448
00:29:36,758 --> 00:29:38,971
-Did you see Argo?
-No, I didn't...
449
00:29:38,972 --> 00:29:40,585
No, I didn't.
450
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,735
The scythians
treat their horses really well.
451
00:29:43,736 --> 00:29:46,473
The commander's horse'll have
her own tent... That one.
452
00:29:49,010 --> 00:29:50,429
You keep an eye out.
453
00:29:51,093 --> 00:29:52,777
Any sign of trouble, just whistle.
454
00:29:53,573 --> 00:29:54,773
Ok.
455
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,033
Remember now, Joxer,
you're the secret weapon.
456
00:30:03,034 --> 00:30:06,463
Oh, Joxer, the...
M-m-m-mommy!
457
00:30:06,464 --> 00:30:08,460
What did you want?
458
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,101
Anyone hungry?
459
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,800
Hey, girl!
460
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:28,840
It's me.
461
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,289
I know I smell funny,
but I had kind of a tough week.
462
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:36,878
Look...
463
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,443
I know you've been mad.
I know that you've been avoiding me.
464
00:30:42,923 --> 00:30:45,406
But I've come back, and I'm never
gonna let you go again.
465
00:30:45,431 --> 00:30:47,423
So let's get out of here, huh?
466
00:30:55,105 --> 00:30:55,939
Thank you.
467
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,556
You know... I'm a graduate
of the Royal Athenian Academy of Cooking.
468
00:31:00,557 --> 00:31:03,148
I cooked for the king...
before he died.
469
00:31:03,149 --> 00:31:04,618
Here you go.
470
00:31:05,103 --> 00:31:07,416
A little for you.
A little for you.
471
00:31:08,850 --> 00:31:11,092
A little more for you, big fella.
472
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,365
I was the cook
for the royal trojan army.
473
00:31:17,366 --> 00:31:19,959
Their legendary flatulence
had nothing to do with me, of course.
474
00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:21,747
Ok.
475
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:24,153
Hey...
476
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,287
Now, you keep that up and
everybody's gonna know that we're here.
477
00:31:37,190 --> 00:31:38,390
Let's go.
478
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,214
Gabrielle, you can whistle.
479
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,580
I am not leaving without you.
480
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,600
What else could go wrong?
481
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,183
I'm not givin' up on you, girl!
482
00:32:57,153 --> 00:32:57,753
Xena!
483
00:32:58,711 --> 00:33:00,899
This means the village
is unprotected.
484
00:33:01,451 --> 00:33:04,070
Take the rest of the men.
Go strike the village at once.
485
00:33:04,071 --> 00:33:06,481
-Right.
-I'll take care of her.
486
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,132
That oughtta do it.
487
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,961
Quick!
All you men, prepare to...
488
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,650
All right, Acestus...
489
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:14,692
Xena!
490
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,799
All right, girl,
you want me?
491
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,380
You got me.
492
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,330
What are you doing?
493
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:31,680
Defend yourself!
494
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,790
Argo...
495
00:34:52,109 --> 00:34:54,595
Here, let's get this off 'a you, huh?
496
00:34:55,501 --> 00:34:56,701
Ok...
497
00:34:58,060 --> 00:34:59,460
There...
498
00:34:59,461 --> 00:35:00,661
There...
499
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,786
I knew you couldn't do it to me,
girl.
500
00:35:03,821 --> 00:35:06,052
We've been through
too much together, huh?
501
00:35:06,654 --> 00:35:08,564
You came pretty close, though.
502
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,400
Look out!
503
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,006
Wait there.
504
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,442
You need a lesson... in loyalty!
505
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,260
Nobody touches my horse!
506
00:35:57,390 --> 00:35:59,150
-Come on!
-Get on it!
507
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,119
Are you all right, Xena?
508
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,086
I've never been better.
Come on.
509
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:03,839
Look...
510
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,230
I missed ya.
511
00:37:05,231 --> 00:37:06,835
I missed ya so much...
512
00:37:06,836 --> 00:37:07,540
Look...
513
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:10,609
I promise I will never leave you alone
for that long again.
514
00:37:11,136 --> 00:37:13,126
I thought I was never gonna getcha back.
515
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,705
Just one thing...
516
00:37:18,466 --> 00:37:20,714
How did Acestus win you over?
517
00:37:21,055 --> 00:37:22,497
What did it?
518
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,640
Apples?
519
00:37:27,242 --> 00:37:29,121
Ya left me for apples?
520
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,624
Well, thanks, pal!
521
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,701
Thank you, Joxer,
for saving our village.
522
00:37:47,270 --> 00:37:50,093
Here's the five hundred dinars
we promised ya.
523
00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:53,176
Five hundred dinars?
That's a lot of dough!
524
00:37:54,052 --> 00:37:56,312
With this kind of dough I'm gonna buy...
525
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,903
...buy you a new village.
Here, take this!
526
00:38:02,904 --> 00:38:05,577
I can't accept it.
Grow. Prosper!
527
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,819
How can we ever repay you?
528
00:38:08,484 --> 00:38:09,684
Well...
529
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,919
If you ever thought of renaming
your village...
530
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,178
...Joxonia or Joxopolis...
531
00:38:14,179 --> 00:38:15,782
...I wouldn't object.
532
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,946
That was a nice thing you did.
533
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,023
You know, Gabrielle...
534
00:38:32,024 --> 00:38:35,233
It's moment like that make
a warrior's life worthwhile.
535
00:38:35,573 --> 00:38:38,224
If you think about it, you brought down
the entire scythian army...
536
00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,633
...without spilling
a single drop of blood.
537
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,442
-True.
-Yeah, ya have talent.
538
00:38:43,866 --> 00:38:45,281
It's contagious.
539
00:38:45,282 --> 00:38:46,445
Yeah.
540
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,297
Joxer, the Mighty, immune
to all diseases.
541
00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:52,900
Joxer, the Mighty
542
00:38:52,901 --> 00:38:56,533
Never gets a fever
He's eager as a beaver
543
00:38:56,534 --> 00:38:59,000
He's Joxer, Joxer, the...
544
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:05,821
How are you feeling?
545
00:39:05,822 --> 00:39:07,022
I'll live.
546
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,148
This week's been kind of tough
on everyone, I guess.
547
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,304
But... You know...
I'm always there for you and...
548
00:39:15,305 --> 00:39:17,101
...you're always there for me.
549
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,300
Friends...
550
00:39:23,555 --> 00:39:25,956
I got all the friends I need!
551
00:39:30,712 --> 00:39:34,955
Subtitles: Marlon Rocha Lacerda
www.joxer.com.br
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
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