Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,280
Not bad.
2
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,680
For a newb.
3
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,160
Cheat !
4
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,920
You're a stuck pig, lad.
5
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,440
Rude.
6
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,520
Come on.
7
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,160
On your feet.
8
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,720
Look, am I here for a reason ?
9
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,520
As you know...
10
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,120
... I am your spirit guide.
11
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,640
And although the ancient laws
prohibit Sean Bean
12
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,320
from interfering
in the affairs of men...
13
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,000
... I've laid on a treat for you.
14
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,840
Call it an early birthday present.
15
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,960
Are we going
to Comic-Con together ?
16
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,680
I'm not going to Comic-Con,
we'll get fucking mobbed !
17
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:08,800
No.
18
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,840
It's time you took a wench
to the barn.
19
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,080
Sorry, what ?
20
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,200
You know, put your custard
in the pudding.
21
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,480
Stew your mutton.
22
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,760
Are these metaphors ?
23
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,760
- Pounce a peacock.
- Right, you're just saying words now.
24
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,880
Look...
25
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,680
It's time you lost
your virginity, lad.
26
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:32,360
I had sex with Angelique
on my French exchange.
27
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,840
Sheathe your sword.
28
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,360
Right, there you go again.
29
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,760
I mean, do you mean that literally,
or is that another dig ?
30
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,120
I don't know, both.
31
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:53,080
WASTED
32
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,080
Season 1
Episode 6
33
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,880
Oh, Skyscanner's got a flight
to South Korea.
34
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,440
Is that the dictator one ?
35
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,560
Gangnam Style one.
36
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,440
Oh, I like that video.
37
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,120
Maybe I'll go to South Korea.
38
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,640
You think you'll make it, though ?
39
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,160
I mean, you didn't make it
to India. Or London.
40
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,280
Or the Co-op.
41
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,440
So, I was supposed to go
to this sex party with the holy man
42
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,240
and this girl we met on Snapchat,
43
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,120
but she can't make it
because she's pregnant
44
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,160
and she doesn't want
to run into any of the "dads",
45
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,400
so there's a spare ticket
and we thought...
46
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,160
Morph, early birthday present ?
47
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,800
- Early birthday present.
- Good way to lose your V plates.
48
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,480
Alison, Angelique,
French exchange.
49
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,520
Right, so we're all still...
50
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,600
That's still open ?
51
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:45,360
I will come to this party to continue
my adult sexual adventure.
52
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,760
- Sorted.
- So what is this sex party ?
53
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,520
Big mansion, guest-list only,
anyone can have sex with anyone.
54
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,320
- Anyone ?
- Anyone.
55
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,720
I would have invited everyone,
56
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,120
but obviously thought
that would be weird for...
57
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,760
Why would that be weird ?
58
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,200
Well, because, you two...
59
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,400
Yeah, but it didn't mean anything.
60
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,320
And Kent went straight
to Bristol after, so...
61
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,400
Yeah, and Sarah didn't even stop me,
or try and call me for a year, so...
62
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,600
OK, so, not weird at all.
63
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,480
- Might be weird for him.
- Might be weird for her.
64
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,760
OK, I'll get the holy man
to put you on the guest list.
65
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,480
Here's a picture of Angelique.
66
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,720
That's just an image search.
67
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,320
- For sexy French girl.
- Yeah, and she came up first, so...
68
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,000
Gorgeous.
69
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,200
Yeah.
70
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:41,480
So, what do we wear
to a sex party anyway ?
71
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,720
Fucking hell !
72
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,320
OK. Next stop, sex party !
73
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,640
Before we set off, ground rules.
74
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,480
What, like no kissing on the mouth ?
75
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,720
Mate, it's not Pretty Woman.
76
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,640
Oh, so you have seen
Pretty Woman, Kent ?
77
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:23,720
Fuck !
78
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,400
How about, between us,
no direct contact ?
79
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,920
Let's say indirect contact only.
80
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,640
Like contact through another person.
81
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,120
Shall we say two people ?
82
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,720
- Yeah.
- That seems logical, yeah.
83
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,960
And whatever happens in there,
we never talk about it again, ever.
84
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,360
Like if someone walks in,
85
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,840
and I'm wearing a strap-on
pegging some dude,
86
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,400
you can't rag on me
about it for ever.
87
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,560
You're into pegging ?
88
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,440
No, I was just using that
as an example.
89
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,120
It came to you pretty quick,
though, didn't it ?
90
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,240
Oh, I've got one.
I don't want to see anyone's O face.
91
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,680
That goes without saying.
92
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,680
What if it happens
by accident, Alison ?
93
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,080
Right, another rule,
you and me, never in the same room.
94
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,760
If I were you...
95
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,320
... I'd steer clear of room 42.
96
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,360
Why ? What happens in room 42 ?
97
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,080
You come face-to-face
with who you really are.
98
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,200
Condoms.
99
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,480
Femidoms.
100
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,400
Covering all the angles.
101
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,960
- Protein bars.
- For recovery.
102
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,120
- Verruca sock ?
- In case there's a wet room.
103
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,800
Four cans of energy drink.
104
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,760
I don't know how long
it's going to be.
105
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,600
- Sudoku ?
- There might be a waiting area.
106
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,640
- Why do you have a knife ?
- For the oysters.
107
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,680
Behave yourself.
108
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,280
Fine.
109
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,880
This is just his ticket
printed out again.
110
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,960
Oh, what, does that not work... ?
111
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,760
Of course
that doesn't fucking work !
112
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,320
For fuck's sake !
113
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,800
I was really looking forward to
having sex with all them strangers.
114
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,240
Not as much as I was.
115
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,800
Or with as many of them.
116
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,480
I'll handle this.
Hey, let them in.
117
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,960
I'm not going into a sex party
without my sister.
118
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,400
Mate, just go in. This is weird.
119
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,560
Well, I bet you're bloody relieved.
120
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,120
What are you talking about ?
121
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,680
Well, it works out well
for you, doesn't it ?
122
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,200
You get to say you're going to do
something and don't actually do it.
123
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,360
Like...
124
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,080
India.
125
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,960
Kent, India and group sex
are completely different.
126
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,840
Not according to my uncle.
127
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:54,960
If I'd have gone in there,
128
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,240
I would have had
the biggest fucking orgy of my life,
129
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,440
and you'd have bottled it.
130
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,400
No, I would have marched
right into the middle of that orgy
131
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,320
and fucking nailed it.
132
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,520
- Bullshit !
- Kent, what do you want me to do ?
133
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,480
You want me to break in
and prove it ?
134
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,560
What are you doing ?
135
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,280
I'm wiping for fingerprints.
136
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,280
What ?
In case the sex police come ?
137
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,760
Hello ?
138
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,240
Hello ?
139
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,080
I need some help,
can you let me out ?
140
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,960
Fucking hell !
141
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,560
I think I've been forgotten about.
142
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,040
Can you let me out ?
143
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,280
Yeah, sure.
144
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,760
Don't fucking do it !
145
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000
It's part of the game.
146
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,560
- I'm pleading.
- All right, then, bye.
147
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,720
That's it. Can you leave
the doors open, please ?
148
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,120
What are you fucking doing ?
149
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,040
Fuck's sake !
150
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,760
OK, last chance to back out.
151
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,040
I'm not backing out.
Unless you're backing out.
152
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,480
- I'm not backing out.
- Yeah, good, cos I'm not either.
153
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,600
- I'm getting some sex.
- Yeah, me too.
154
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:17,840
Good.
155
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,840
Oh, made it in, then ?
156
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,800
- Is this it ?
- Oh, no.
157
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,600
There's also a buffet.
158
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,800
Ah come on mate, not in the dip.
159
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,840
- Where's Holy Man.
- Mingling.
160
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,840
I barely see him at these things.
161
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,840
He gets massive FOMO, so he works
out his timetable beforehand.
162
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,120
I just meet him after for a Calippo.
163
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,040
So, Morph, want to hit
the mattresses ?
164
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,720
Oh, right.
Is that what we're doing then ?
165
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,040
Well, that's why you're here,
isn't it ?
166
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,560
Listen, before we go
into that dimly lit area,
167
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,760
I need to tell you something.
168
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,160
It concerns my virginity,
and it may come as a bit of a shock.
169
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,720
- What, you have lost it ?
- No, I'm saying I haven't.
170
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,440
No. No ! Shut the front door !
171
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,840
I did not expect that.
172
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,680
Because it was
a very well-constructed lie,
173
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,240
and I'm sorry for deceiving you
so expertly.
174
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,080
But what about Angelique ?
175
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,600
I'm sorry to say, I made her up.
176
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,760
But what about all those e-mails
you've been showing us
177
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,280
for the past eight years ?
178
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,400
Fake.
179
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:21,840
I hoodwinked you all.
180
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,280
But that would mean
you'd have to set up
181
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,240
a fake e-mail address,
send yourself e-mails,
182
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:31,880
then reply to yourself
over and over again for eight years.
183
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,120
Which is why you were all
so convinced.
184
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,120
And I feel bad about it.
185
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,480
I don't think you need to, mate.
186
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,720
The truth is...
187
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,240
I've never given away my flower...
188
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,320
... because I wanted my first time
to be with someone special.
189
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,680
Maybe I can help with that.
190
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,520
Cos everyone here
is really up for it.
191
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,080
And they've already had
the menopause, so, low risk.
192
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,360
Yeah, makes sense.
193
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,080
Come on.
194
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,160
Take it, you dirty slag.
195
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,680
Have it, you mucky bastard !
196
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,440
Would you like some of that ?
197
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,920
Oh, yes !
198
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,080
I don't know, is there
anything a bit less... spanky ?
199
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,360
Not really.
200
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,560
I don't really understand
the process.
201
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,560
Do you have sex after the spanking,
or is the spanking, like, a test ?
202
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:30,120
You won't know unless you try.
203
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,160
This is my virginity
we're talking about, not Dr Pepper !
204
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,760
- Get involved.
- All right.
205
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,640
Er, excuse me.
206
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,400
Is there a queue ?
Or is it a number...
207
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,320
You do exactly what I say, maggot.
208
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,040
Mr Rogerson ?
209
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,640
Man alive, Paul Durkin ?
210
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,000
I haven't seen you since...
211
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,560
GCSE geography.
212
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,880
How are you ?
213
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,120
Yeah, good. I mean,
I feel a bit weird right now.
214
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,600
I remember you did the best
oxbow lake coursework I've ever read.
215
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,160
Oh, thank you, sir.
216
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,760
I spent the whole summer on that,
I mean, I can't believe you remember.
217
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,600
You don't forget when a boy
hands in a CD-ROM !
218
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,040
So, you're still teaching ?
219
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,480
No, no, got into a bit of bother
with that.
220
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,320
I'm a postman now.
221
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,360
- Right.
- You had a sister, didn't you ?
222
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,200
Very pretty. Is she here ?
223
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,320
She... died.
224
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,440
Don't look for her.
225
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,640
Go, go, go !
226
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,480
Have it, you dirty cow !
227
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,720
So Mr Rogerson's a perv.
228
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,080
Yep, turns out it's always the ones
you do suspect.
229
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,560
Well, we can always try
the sploshing chamber.
230
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,040
Alison, I don't think
this is working out.
231
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,600
Excuse me.
Can one of you untie me ?
232
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,800
Mate, we've heard about you. We know
you don't want us to untie you.
233
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,120
I know I said that.
But that was an hour ago.
234
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,160
It's really cutting off
my circulation.
235
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,720
He's quite convincing, isn't he ?
236
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,280
You're overthinking this.
237
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,040
We just need to get you shagged.
238
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,160
No, this whole party isn't working
for me.
239
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,200
I want... romance, some ceremony.
240
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,960
I can't feel my balls.
241
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,920
I don't think
you're going to find that here.
242
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,080
I might do if I was with yo...
243
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,160
Fucking hell !
244
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,680
- No, wait, I didn't mean...
- Check out that lot.
245
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,920
You're not going to get
much more ceremonious than that.
246
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,280
It does look a bit less spanky.
247
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,600
Go on. Enjoy yourself.
248
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,000
See what they're up to.
249
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,680
Please, help me.
250
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,040
You need a safe word, mate.
251
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,680
I have got a safe word, it's tomato.
252
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,080
- Tomato !
- All right, all right.
253
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,120
- What the fuck are you doing ?
- You said tomato.
254
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,480
It's not the real safe word.
255
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,080
Well, what's the real one ?
256
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,280
You'll never hear me say it.
257
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,560
The drink tokens only cover
house white and Lilt.
258
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,000
- So I got two of each.
- Oh, the old Yeovil martini.
259
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,800
So... ? We're just going to
neck these and then...
260
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000
... get on it ?
261
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,120
Yes.
262
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,720
Do you reckon any younger people
are going to turn up ?
263
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,840
I really hope so.
264
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,480
- Hey.
- Where have you been ?
265
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,480
Room 39.
266
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,080
All right, fucknots.
267
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,160
Where's Morph ? Did he find a room
full of imaginary French girls ?
268
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,480
No, he went in this weird room upstairs
with all these eyes wide shut peeps.
269
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,880
Oh, no.
270
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,360
Room 42.
271
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,280
Hello.
272
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,040
Fucking hell !
273
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,560
- Who are you ?
- My name is Angelica.
274
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,920
Kind of like a...
275
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,520
English Angelique.
276
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,640
If it pleases.
277
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,680
Sorry, we are in process.
278
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,080
I can't let you in at this time.
279
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,640
Or you, ever.
280
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,800
Fair enough, yeah.
281
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,320
Room 42 adheres
to a strict set of rules
282
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,360
that we take very seriously.
283
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,680
Are you laughing at my... penis ?
284
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,640
- No.
- No.
285
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,000
What about my penis
do you find funny ?
286
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,960
I mean, it's disproportionately
large for your frame.
287
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,240
It kind of waggles up and down
when you tell us off.
288
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,840
And it is a bit of a horse cock,
mate.
289
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,520
Right, so we're playing
silly buggers, are we ?
290
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,480
Please leave or I'll be forced
to call the dungeon Master.
291
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,520
All right, listen, Voldermort,
we're not in fucking Hogwarts.
292
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,200
We're ten minutes outside of Yeovil,
293
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,680
so can you please open
that fucking door ?
294
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,600
Where's your wristband ?
295
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,560
- Spliff ?
- Spliff.
296
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,720
Feels nice.
297
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,440
Good.
298
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,520
I should probably tell you,
it's my first time.
299
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,640
Mine too.
300
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,320
They're pretty synchronised.
301
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,840
Sorry.
302
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,440
So, what happens next ?
303
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,160
Kneel down with me.
304
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,560
Close your eyes.
305
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,360
OK.
306
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,600
- And also your mouth.
- What ?
307
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,480
No, no, no, no !
308
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,440
Hey, be honest. Do you think
if you stayed in there,
309
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,000
you'd've actually had sex ?
310
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,840
I want to say no, but I haven't had
a shag in fucking ages.
311
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,040
Maybe if there were more
drink tokens.
312
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,640
Oh, right, so you didn't have sex
with dread head ?
313
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,720
- Only petting.
- What about the bat man ?
314
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,600
Nah, but that might be
because I stabbed him.
315
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,960
It's been pretty dry too,
for me, to be fair.
316
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,760
Since I got back.
317
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,800
But there were loads of girls
in Brazil, right ?
318
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,880
Nada. I don't think
I've had sex since...
319
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,880
Me too.
320
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,600
Kent...
321
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,200
Yeah.
322
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,240
Is that man wanking ?
323
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,600
Mr Rogerson !
324
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,120
Kent Blackwell,
how are you keeping ?
325
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,600
Oi ! Shoo ! Get out of it.
326
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,640
What the fuck happened to you ?
327
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,080
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Morpheus got pissed on.
328
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,080
Oh, so we're just talking about it,
are we ?
329
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,640
You got off lightly, mate.
When I was in room 42...
330
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,640
I'm going to go back in.
331
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,240
Open the gates !
332
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,480
At least you can save it
for someone special.
333
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,240
Mate, put a towel down.
334
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,120
- I didn't bring a towel.
- You brought fucking oysters !
335
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,560
There's one in the boot.
336
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,240
Me again.
337
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,400
Well, you win some,
you lose some.
338
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,640
Is that all you've got
to say about it ?
339
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,600
You do know six men
pissed on me, right ?
340
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,320
Maybe there's a lesson in it.
341
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,160
- What ?
- I don't know.
342
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,320
Be yourself ?
343
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,120
Is that the best you've got ?
344
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,560
You laid this on for me.
I thought you had a plan, Sean.
345
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,760
I'm managing it from a distance,
I don't have boots on the ground.
346
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,560
And remember...
347
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,840
I'm just your subconscious.
348
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,040
You've got to take
some responsibility.
349
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:22,120
No. Actually, I think
you've got to take some responsibility.
350
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,760
- You what ?
- You've been a shit spirit guide.
351
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,040
Now it's time I killed you.
352
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,560
Killed me ?
353
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,880
Come on, Sean Bean.
354
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,120
You die in everything.
355
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,560
Yeah. Fair enough.
356
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,360
- Morpheus.
- Yes.
357
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,440
Make it a clean strike.
358
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,720
I'll try my best.
359
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,120
But it's my first time, so...
360
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,360
You'll do fine.
361
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,080
Sean Bean ?
362
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,360
I just killed you.
363
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,520
One does not simply
kill Sean Bean.
364
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,480
Oh, my God. Best day ever !
365
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,280
WASTED
366
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,800
Season 1
End of episode 6
26324
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof