Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:07,340
As far back
as I can remember,
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:10,260
I've always wanted to be
the Berry Man.
3
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:13,060
Half man, half tree.
4
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:16,780
Utterly pure of sin
and immune to all temptation.
5
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,940
Why so obsessed with the Berry Man ?
It's just some toss pot in a costume.
6
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:23,020
Alison ! The Berry Man Festival
is a Neston tradition.
7
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,940
It's been going on
for hundreds of years.
8
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:27,460
Yeah, so's Fast & Furious.
It doesn't mean it's any good.
9
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:30,420
- That is absolute blasphemy.
- I'm skipping the fete this year.
10
00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:33,380
- What ? We always get pissed together.
- It's not that fun, though, is it ?
11
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:37,020
I thought you two had plenty of fun
last year. Behind the petting zoo.
12
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,140
Alison, you'll get pissed
with me, right ?
13
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:42,060
Love to, I promised
I'd do this charity tarot tent
14
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:44,220
for cancer or some shit.
15
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,700
Fuck's sake ! Does nobody
want to get pissed with me ?
16
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,780
I will, good sir, but only after...
17
00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:51,420
You wank yourself off
to the dance of the Berry Man ?
18
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,460
He's an ancient wood spirit
and utterly chaste,
19
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,620
so he wouldn't appreciate a wank.
20
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,860
So fucking joke's on you, innit ?
21
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,460
WASTED
22
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,700
Season 1
Episode 4
23
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:09,260
BERRY MAN FESTIVAL
24
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:15,260
CIDER
25
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,220
TOMBOLA
26
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,820
Think that barmaid will be
on the kissing booth again this year ?
27
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:33,900
No, she did it last year, and put it
this way, Co-op ran out of Zovirax.
28
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:37,100
Great turnout
on the scarecrows this year, Verian.
29
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,220
Oh, thanks.
Listen, a bit of a disaster.
30
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,460
You know Terry Bennett
bought all those llamas ?
31
00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:42,900
Alpacas, yeah.
32
00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:46,340
Well, they got into Mockers' field and,
basically, they've killed his horse.
33
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:48,020
Oh, he loved that horse.
34
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:50,580
I know. Mark's distraught
and he's pulled out, so...
35
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,140
You mean
we don't have a Berry Man ?
36
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:56,140
You can't have a Berry Man festival
without a Berry Man.
37
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:59,260
- I know. Hasn't happened since 1795.
- 1795.
38
00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:04,380
Fucking hell, guys !
What are we going to do ?
39
00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:07,420
I don't know. I was going to ask you
if you'd do it, Morpheus.
40
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:12,500
Me ?
41
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:18,180
Yes ! Fucking yes !
High five. No, fuck it, high ten.
42
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,780
Come and see me
about the fucking costume.
43
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,860
Yes !
44
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,300
Bosh !
45
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:27,740
- You're in there, mate.
- What ? Verian ?
46
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:31,220
- Obviously I won't be pursuing that.
- Why ?
47
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,700
- Cos you're saving for Alison ?
- No, I don't fancy Alison.
48
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,100
- Why ? Has she said something ?
- Of course she fucking hasn't.
49
00:02:38,180 --> 00:02:40,540
She never will, so just go over
there and sausage Verian.
50
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:43,020
I will not be sausaging anyone.
51
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,820
Because I've been charged with
the sacred office of the Berry Man.
52
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,420
And I will not abuse that power.
53
00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:50,700
Innit just dressing up like a twat
and mooching about ?
54
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:53,140
He's an ancient wood spirit !
55
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,380
Closed.
56
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:02,540
Sorry. I just need some milk
for this little guy.
57
00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:04,580
He's a common pipistrelle bat.
58
00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:08,660
He's hurt his wing so I'm nursing
him back to health. It's what I do.
59
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,380
I rescue bats.
60
00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:28,300
I have, uh, soya milk. It's for my
brother. Stops him farting.
61
00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:32,340
Oh, no. It's got to be dairy.
I can buy you some.
62
00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,140
I can go to the shop right now and
bring it to you in your house.
63
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,220
Where's your house ?
64
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,940
Well, I'd only come
if I was invited. Am I invited ?
65
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,300
It's not like I need an invite.
I'm not a vampire.
66
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,860
But I would if I had your consent.
67
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,060
I always check for consent.
68
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,660
I'm sure there'll be some at the fete.
Perhaps I'll see you there.
69
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:55,060
Top bananas !
70
00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,980
Fuck's sake.
71
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,460
- You all right ?
- Yeah. Fine.
72
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:05,140
Look, I'll catch you later,
you know, if I've got the time.
73
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,260
BAT RESCUE
74
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:16,780
- Holy shit.
- I thought you weren't coming.
75
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:18,780
I'm... not. I'm...
76
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,740
I'm just checking out
the sexy man at the bat tent.
77
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:23,020
- You seen him ?
- Yeah.
78
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,060
But I reckon he's got poo
under his fingernails.
79
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:28,940
Yeah. And I'd clean out
every one of them.
80
00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:31,460
Look after my tent for me
while I go for a piss ?
81
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:32,580
No. You tried this last year.
82
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,460
You'll leave me here
while you go and get drunk.
83
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,980
No, I'm just going to go to the loo.
Do you want anything ?
84
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,540
- From the loo ?
- Yes.
85
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:42,380
- Get me a cider.
- From the toilet ?
86
00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:43,620
Drop the act.
87
00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:46,060
Can you at least show me
how you do it ?
88
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:49,180
So, do you need to ordain me
or give me a turban or something ?
89
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,660
Nah, it's just a load of bollocks.
90
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,540
Just turn over the cards and come up
with some bullshit like...
91
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,780
"You tried to dodge the fate because
you're afraid of fucking Kent again."
92
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:00,260
That's what the spirits said.
93
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:04,620
Yeah, well, the spirits can
go suck on... my tits, then.
94
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,140
Now I'm off for that piss.
95
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,860
You just winked
at the person you're lying to.
96
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,500
I'm not lying !
97
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:18,220
- Oh. So you came in the end.
- Yeah. To help Alison.
98
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,380
- Give us a turn, then.
- All right.
99
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,180
You got the twat card.
100
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,660
It means you're a massive twat.
101
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:30,220
Yeah, but you dealt the cards
so she who dealt it is the twat.
102
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,940
Yeah, but it's more on your side
of the table, so you're the twat !
103
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,340
Actually, you're the twat.
104
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,740
- You're the twat !
- Fine.
105
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,460
If I say I'm the twat, can we
just please go and get a beer ?
106
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:41,060
Let's see
what the spirits have to say.
107
00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:45,140
- It says you're a twat again.
- Nice one.
108
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,980
- Want a beer ?
- Get me a pint.
109
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:50,740
Will do.
110
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,820
- It's looking really, really good.
- It's such an honour to be asked.
111
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,700
Looking forward to the ceremony ?
112
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,900
A gift of food
and wine from the villagers.
113
00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:27,140
It's more than that, Verian.
It's what the Berry Man stands for.
114
00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:32,180
He reminds us there's more to life
than the basic human vices of greed,
115
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:36,300
desire and... temptation.
116
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,380
You make it all sound very noble.
117
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,940
I'm a bit worried
about the face paint.
118
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:45,140
- I've got some eczema behind...
- Behind your ear ?
119
00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:46,860
- Yeah.
- Me too.
120
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,060
- I've actually got some moisturiser.
- Don't worry about it.
121
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:53,100
- Really. No, please.
- I'm fine. Don't need any moisturiser.
122
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,660
Honestly, I...
123
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,780
Run me through
the itinerary again, yeah ?
124
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:03,820
Nice, safe, innocent logistics.
125
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:06,580
Oh, no, you don't need
to worry about that.
126
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:11,140
I'll be right by your side all day,
whispering in your ear.
127
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:13,100
The Berry Man
would prefer a printout.
128
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,940
Oh, no.
It says your bat's going to die !
129
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:31,940
Really ? Oh, God.
130
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,780
Oh, no. No, I'm joking.
131
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,460
You know, megabants, LOLs.
Ach, the noo !
132
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,780
Thank God.
133
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:43,140
- You know, I'm very worried about him.
- Forget about the tarot.
134
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:47,220
Let's do something else.
Like palm reading.
135
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:52,780
That's a strong hand.
It's like a dad's !
136
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:58,620
Got you a pint. What's this ?
137
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,140
Is this your boyfriend ?
138
00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:03,580
No. He's just someone
I knew at school.
139
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:06,860
Nice. Do you want your pint, then ?
Do you want a pint ?
140
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:08,220
Sure.
141
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,380
- Wanna give my pint to Lip Ring ?
- Dude.
142
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,500
You can just get another one.
143
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:14,260
- It's 4 pound a pint !
- I'll give you four quid.
144
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,780
- Do you have four quid ?
- I'll... owe you four quid.
145
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,340
Give me four quid.
146
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,420
No, don't even worry about it.
Kent, stop being a dick.
147
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,500
Oh, for fuck's sake !
And there's a massive queue.
148
00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:26,540
Fucking craft lager.
149
00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:30,180
Sorry.
150
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,980
So, how about you do me ?
Do my hand.
151
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,940
- Sorry. You know what I mean.
- Aye.
152
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,340
I think I know what you mean.
153
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:14,180
Behold the Berry Man !
154
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:23,500
They had a fucking year
to plan this.
155
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,740
TAROT BUSY
156
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:34,020
- I just need to get smashed.
- We could try...
157
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:36,300
PAGAN POTIONS
158
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:42,860
Mind Swamp. It's more a mellow,
black-out sort of thing, right ?
159
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:45,700
Makes you want to cry,
but in a good way.
160
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:48,660
What about, Throat Cutter ?
161
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,100
I'm not technically allowed
to sell it.
162
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:54,100
I can recommend it...
163
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,460
... as weed killer.
164
00:09:57,260 --> 00:10:01,860
- What is it ?
- Sort of like vodka. More bleachy.
165
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,820
You put bleach in it ?
166
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,180
Only a little bit.
Just take the edge off.
167
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:07,580
The paint.
168
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:12,380
- No fucking way.
- Wait. Will it get us really fucked ?
169
00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:18,420
Yes.
170
00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:23,700
God, it smells like snake's piss.
I ain't drinking that.
171
00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:26,460
Can't drink it,
it'll strip your stomach.
172
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:27,940
Well, how do you take it ?
173
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,340
- You put 'em up your arse.
- Yeah. We got it.
174
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:42,700
Tell me about my sexy line again.
175
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:46,620
So it starts here.
176
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:51,260
Goes all the way along... to here.
177
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,380
Yeah... that's nice...
178
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:11,260
Sorry. I know.
If I move it this way, I can do it.
179
00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:13,540
- No, no.
- Really jammed in there, isn't it ?
180
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,660
- No, no. Just stop.
- No, trust me.
181
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:21,420
- Jesus, God ! God !
- God !
182
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:52,060
- Are you using the applicator ?
- No, I abandoned the applicator.
183
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:55,180
I'm just thumbing it in.
It's like a dead slug.
184
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:59,180
It's actually not that bad
once it's in. Sort of comforting.
185
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,300
OK. Mine's in.
186
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:05,660
Oh, no ! Oh, fuck, it burns !
It fucking burns !
187
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:07,900
I'm pulling it out !
I'm pulling it out.
188
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,500
- Shit !
- What ?
189
00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:18,380
Let's do this.
190
00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:35,140
- That is a creamy filling.
- I'd love a creamy filling.
191
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:39,060
- Yeah, you've already said that.
- Sorry.
192
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,500
- This one's got liqueur in it.
- Yeah ?
193
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,020
Maybe we'll eat too much,
get a bit tipsy.
194
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,100
Verian, must I remind you
195
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:52,820
the Berry Man has forgone
all human vices.
196
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,180
What ? Even this ?
197
00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:07,740
- Morpheus !
- I just need some space, Verian.
198
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,740
As the Berry Man wishes.
199
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,580
Bloody prick-tease.
200
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,660
I love a creamy filling.
201
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:21,340
Tipsy. Creamy filling.
202
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:24,940
1795. Creamy.
203
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,820
- Candyfloss ?
- Fucking hell, Sean Bean.
204
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,500
- No, thanks.
- When it's on the hook, I do.
205
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,540
- What are you doing here ?
- Staging an intervention.
206
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,060
Don't you like that lass ?
207
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:42,860
Yes, but I'm not supposed to do
that sort of thing.
208
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:44,500
I'm a role model.
209
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:47,740
- Role model for who ? Fucking trees ?
- He's an ancient wood spirit !
210
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:52,340
Look, I'm not throwing all this away
for a spot of rumpy-pumpy.
211
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:55,340
Being the Berry Man is an opportunity
that comes around once a decade.
212
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,980
So is finding a lass
that fancies you.
213
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,500
- Now get over there and sausage her.
- Is that just a thing now ?
214
00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:01,580
Are we all just saying sausaging ?
215
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:05,100
Listen ! You've got to decide
what's more important.
216
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:07,660
Prancing around the fair
dressed like a ninny,
217
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,940
or finally getting
your roots watered.
218
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:13,220
- Yes, Sean.
- Now, have some candyfloss.
219
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,460
Yeah.
220
00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:20,460
It's nice, isn't it ?
221
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,500
ADMINISTRATION
FIRST AID
222
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,140
I just didn't think there
would be that much blood.
223
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:35,900
It just kept... spurting.
224
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,620
I'm actually still feeling
a little woozy, so...
225
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:40,700
Sorry.
226
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,500
You know, it's Alison's fault,
really, for giving me the rings.
227
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,140
It's OK, honestly.
228
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,820
I was thinking about getting
another piercing anyway.
229
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,340
Thanks.
230
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:54,460
I just don't want you to think
I'm, like, some sort of psycho killer.
231
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,780
You know, the film. Psycho.
232
00:14:58,540 --> 00:14:59,620
You know with the...
233
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:10,020
I'm so sorry.
234
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,340
Is it doing anything ?
235
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,780
It's making me feel like I need a dump.
Constantly.
236
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,300
It's making me
lose all feeling in my anus.
237
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,500
Wait. Did you have
feeling there before ?
238
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:29,980
Don't know.
239
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:36,260
- Wait. Is your spine getting hot ?
- A little bit, yeah.
240
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,460
And my blood's gone fizzy.
241
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,300
I think it's kicking in.
242
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:01,020
That's a good beat !
243
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,500
You're great at your job !
244
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,220
Come on, you fucking legends !
245
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:17,340
Let's fucking have it !
246
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:15,940
Kent !
247
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,580
Kent !
248
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:25,460
Kent !
249
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:30,540
- Still with the Batman, then.
- Dude.
250
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:35,980
- It's all right. We're cool, brother.
- I just stabbed him there.
251
00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:40,260
Separated my clavicle.
It was actually kind of funny.
252
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:45,740
It was, wasn't it ? Yeah.
You went so white and pale.
253
00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:53,140
You know,
he probably fucks them bats ?
254
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:56,020
All right, Kent,
we'll see you later.
255
00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:00,980
Fuck you !
256
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:02,980
- Alison.
- Not any more.
257
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:07,340
I just double-dropped.
I feel like I need to clean a house.
258
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,900
That's wonderful.
259
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,500
Do you want to do something
really fun ?
260
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:21,820
And first place goes to Mary Lee's
white chocolate iPad.
261
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:25,660
Verian, I thought we were announcing
the winners together.
262
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:28,140
And I thought the Berry Man
needed his space.
263
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:33,420
- I like you, Verian. I really do.
- Good. Me too.
264
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:37,820
But I'm the Berry Man now. I have
responsibilities to this village.
265
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:41,860
My penile desires
have to come second.
266
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:45,940
- So there are... penile desires ?
- Of course.
267
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:51,020
I may be the Berry Man,
but I'm still a man.
268
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,700
But there are rules
that must be obeyed.
269
00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,340
No, if it's about the village rule,
then, technically
270
00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,780
the administration tent is outside
the parish boundaries.
271
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,860
No, the parish boundaries finish
at the crossroads just past the Co-op.
272
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:05,940
Yep. Now. But they were extended
to there in 1872.
273
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,540
And as the office
of the Berry Man was created in...
274
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,300
1695...
275
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,620
It predates the boundary change.
276
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:19,300
So in the administration tent,
the parish rules...
277
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,100
- Do not apply.
- Do not apply.
278
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,260
- Watch the costume.
- You're not the Berry Man in here.
279
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,340
BAT WATCH
280
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:41,100
Fly, my pretties ! Be free !
Spread some fucking rabies !
281
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:43,500
These bats are broken.
They're not going anywhere.
282
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,900
I think they're sleeping
cos it's daytime.
283
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,220
Fuck it. I'm freeing a bat today.
284
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,500
They're not having any of it,
are they ?
285
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,180
Abso-fruit-ly not.
286
00:19:57,900 --> 00:20:00,980
- What the hell are you doing ?!
- Saving the bats, Sarah.
287
00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,660
What your boyfriend said he's doing,
288
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,900
when actually he's just being
a massive wank stain.
289
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:07,220
- I thought you were doing tarot.
- Way past that, mate.
290
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,220
I've got two tampons up my arse.
291
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:10,740
- What ?
- For another time.
292
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:13,460
Hey, guys, these bats
are really delicate, OK ?
293
00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:17,060
You have to look after them.
And you have to give them milk.
294
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,580
And it has to be dairy.
295
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:21,140
- Dairy.
- Come on, little fella.
296
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:24,820
Come on. That's OK.
No-one's going to harm you now.
297
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:31,340
- It's all right, little friend.
- Oh, I found your trunk.
298
00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:33,580
Yeah. And it's full of sap.
299
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:34,700
What is that ?
300
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:41,020
You're a bad, bad Berry Man.
301
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,380
Yeah, I'm about to get
a whole lot worse.
302
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:44,460
- Yeah ?
- Yeah.
303
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:47,140
- Your branch is so hard.
- Yeah.
304
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,540
Burst my berries.
305
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:54,300
Shower me in berry juice !
306
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:57,780
Oh, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah.
307
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,580
Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, shit.
308
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:02,780
Yeah. Oh, shit.
309
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:06,540
Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
310
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:08,620
Oh, shit. Yeah.
311
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:11,740
Harvest my bounty !
312
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,220
Oh, my God.
I nearly squashed this bat.
313
00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:28,020
Holy shit !
314
00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:31,660
That was rather a lot.
315
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:54,180
There's the hat. Jacket... thing.
316
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:57,220
- And...
- Probably best keep the trousers.
317
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,100
Yeah. Yep.
318
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,620
Shame. Shame. Shame.
319
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:07,420
Shame ! Shame !
Shame ! Shame ! Shame !
320
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:09,700
All right !
321
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,900
All right, all right.
We get the idea ! Fucking...
322
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:17,900
At least we didn't kill...
323
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:22,300
- What was his name again ?
- Pipistrelle 579.
324
00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:23,980
Yeah. Him.
325
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:28,620
But you did kill his mother.
And without her, he'll surely die.
326
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:29,780
Well...
327
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:34,180
- Think I could buy you a drink ?
- Sarah.
328
00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:39,580
Hurting me is one thing,
but hurting bats, that's another.
329
00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:42,900
Just goes to prove
what I've always known.
330
00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:47,940
That the most dangerous animal
in the world is the human being.
331
00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:50,420
Bullshit, mate. Crocodile.
332
00:22:50,540 --> 00:22:53,420
NO BATS WERE HARMED IN
THE MAKING OF THIS PROGRAMME
333
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:57,620
WASTED
334
00:22:58,140 --> 00:23:01,140
Season 1
End of episode 4
26008
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof