All language subtitles for Tales From The Crypt (1989) S06E10 In the Groove.en

Hello, kiddies. You're just in
time for your driving lesson.

Today we'll be learning
about scare-allel parking

and the right way to look
behind when hacking up.

But first, I thought we'd go
over a few common hand signals.

This, of course, means
you're turning right.

And this means
you're turning left.

And this means...

Slow down, it's time to
watch Tales from the Crypt.

Tonight's moving violation
concerns a disk jockey

who's so cutting-edge,
he may lose his chop.

I call it "In The Groove."

Oh, baby, you're so hot.

You're on fire, you're steam.

I'm gonna take your shoe
off. Is that okay? Can I do that?

Okay.

Only two kinds of girls wear red
shoes and you ain't no Spanish dancer.

You know what
you're doing to me?

And now I think the stocking.

Yeah. Baby, you've got the
most beautiful legs, but I...

I bet you hear that
all the time, don't you?

Well, sometimes.

Sometimes? Yeah, right.

Why don't you stand up?

I want you out of that
skirt, you nasty little girl.

God, you look so
good in that G-string.

I don't wear G-strings.

Okay, what kind of
panties do you wear?

You know, regular ones.

Fine, whatever.

I don't think I want
to do this anymore.

Fine.

Maybe one of our listeners has a
fantasy that's more to your liking.

So, okay, out there, Lancaster,

the lovely Carla is waiting to hear
from you. Let's go to the phones.

The number here is 555-1234.

What, did somebody drop
a bomb on you people?

Hello, Lancaster, are
you out there? Come in.

Or maybe you bumpkins just haven't
figured out how to use a telephone yet.

Screw all of you.

This has been another
fun filled excursion

on Gary's Drive Time Desires,

the show that gets
you up in the morning.

All right, I'm outta here.
Enough fun for today.

Hank Bodine is up next.
Hey, there's a good time.

Thanks for nothing, sweetheart. That
was even more boring than sex with my ex.

Come on, let's go.

- Does this mean it's over?
- Yeah, it's over.

Get the hell outta here and don't
listen to my radio show anymore.

I never listen to your radio
show. Where's my $10, buddy?

What're you talking about?

Get outta here
before I call security.

Oh, hey, listen. You're the
one who asked me to be here!

- Get outta here, you big old nasty...
- You're such a geek!

- You're a geek!
- Halloween special!

- You know, I'm gonna get my $10.
- Don't come back!

- Jesus, you believe that chick?
- Security? Like you need it.

Up yours, pal. What'd
you get last quarter?

Thirty share. What'd
you get, mama's boy?

Not a 30 share.
Not even a 30 share.

- I want him fired.
- You're the one I wish I could fire.

I just got off the phone with
the only sponsor you had left.

- Hendrix Auto Body walked?
- Hendrix Auto Body ran.

I'm moving Hank to drive
time. Shifting you to graveyard.

What? You can't
shift me to graveyard!

Hey, listen, every second you're
on the air, this station loses money.

And if your ratings don't
improve in your first week,

I am cutting you
down to half an hour.

- You don't have the authority to do that.
- It's all in the will.

No, Mom left us the station 50-50.
I can do whatever the hell I want.

Read the fine print. I make
the corporate decisions, not you.

You think mom was stupid? God.

God, if that woman
were alive, I'd kill her!

Show some respect.

By the way, you won't be
alone in your new time slot.

- I've decided to partner you with someone.
- What?

She's a fan of yours,
if you can believe that.

Been bugging me for months.

- I don't want a partner.
- It's not a question of want.

Gary, this is Valerie Cardoza.

Valerie, meet Gary Grover.

It's a pleasure to
finally meet you.

I've been a fan of yours
since your Pittsburgh days.

- I went to college there.
- I'm warning you, don't do this.

Gary, your material sucks.

I think you should listen to
some of Miss Cardoza's ideas.

I wouldn't be here if I didn't
think I could help, Gary.

I think what you're
doing is great.

The problem is the audience
hasn't figured you out yet.

All you need is more time and
maybe a little help with some...

Just give me a try. If it
doesn't work, I'll walk away.

Walk away now.

I'm not your enemy,
Gary. I'm not your sister.

So, for that really big, huge,
monster-sized headache,

use new Noggin Relief.

You won't feel a thing, really.

This is KWMG, Lancaster.

Welcome to Grover's Graveyard.

The show that gets you
up from six feet under.

Oh, baby.

You are... You are so hot.

I'm gonna take your shoe off
now. Is that okay? Can I do that?

Yeah.

Now, I think the stocking.

Yes, baby, you have got the
most beautiful legs I've ever seen,

but I bet you hear
that a lot, don't you?

- Gary?
- Yeah?

You don't have to take my other
stocking off because it's already off.

- What're you...
- In fact,

all I have on is this white,
silk, see-through dress.

Can't you see the shape
of my body through it?

I don't like underwear,
Gary. I find it too constricting.

I like to feel the nice, soft breeze
hum all over every part of me.

Let me take my dress
off so you can look at me.

Do you like what you see?

Oh, yeah.

Let me feel what
I do to you, Gary.

Oh, my. Did I do that?

What're you... Oh,
Gary, you're an animal.

This studio... I've never
even done it like this before.

Oh, Gary, I just
can't resist you.

Take me, Gary. Faster...

I'll take your calls
right after this message.

Yes, I can take it. Give
me everything you've got.

How was that?

Honey, I'm back.

Yes!

- Did you? You know...
- No. Did you?

No.

That's right, Lancaster, it's
Bizarre Sex Act Thursday.

I don't know about you, but things here
in the studio are getting a little fluffy,

if you know what I'm saying.

Now, I wanna hear the
weirdest, the strangest,

the most unquestionably perverse
things that you've ever done.

And I wanna hear it now. I want it hot. I
want it nasty. Deal with it. Deal with it.

And, Mom, if you're listening,
I don't want to know about it.

Let's go to the
phones, shall we?

- You're on the air. Shock me.
- Hi, Gary.

Hi, baby. What
have you got for me?

What's the most bizarre
act you've ever done?

Well, I'm doing it right now
while I'm listening to you.

- Oh, it's so good.
- Oh, you're kidding.

Well, I guess that would make you a
nasty little monkey woman, wouldn't it?

I guess so.

Yeah, it sure would. What do
you think I ought to do about that?

I don't know. I could
come down to your studio

and you could
spank me, if you want.

Is that right?

I live right nearby. I could be
there in just a few minutes...

Mom, I told you
never to call me here!

I'm Gary Grover
and we will continue.

I'll be right back.

Sis.

Guess you won't be cutting
my time, after all, huh?

It's only been a week.
Don't flatter yourself.

I want you to have
a wonderful night

in that nice little house
of yours, all by yourself.

Hey, why don't you
listen to the show?

It's the most exciting thing that
will ever creep into your bedroom.

Damn! Somebody
please hose me off.

You're feeling it, too, aren't
you? The chemistry, the heat.

Listen, this isn't really the...

Oh, God, I love
having you in my head.

Oh, God, I love being there.

Hi, neighbors, Doctor
Hilla-va-drilla here

from the Lancaster
dental office.

When's the last time you opened
your mouth up nice and wide

and had somebody give
you their professional opinion?

At the dental office, the inside of
your mouth is very important to us.

So, Larry from Lancaster,
let me get this straight.

You tell me you have
a problem with the fact

that you came home and caught
your wife in bed with another woman.

Is that what you told me?

I've got a big problem
with that, but I figured,

if she's going to have an
affair, why couldn't it be normal?

You know, like,
with another man.

Let me tell you something, pal.

You catch colon
cancer, that's a problem.

Your dog dies, it's your
best friend, that's a problem.

You catch your wife in bed with
another woman, not a problem.

Know how many losers from Lancaster
would die to be in your shoes, Larry?

- Do you?
- Oh, heck, my friends, they...

You out of your mind?
Why didn't you jump in?

Grab the moment. Jump in there.

You know what? You don't
even deserve to jump in.

Here's what you do.
Send them down to me.

That's right, baby. Send them to
me. Me and Val will tighten them up.

We know what to do with nasty
little girls like that, don't we, Val?

Oh, now, come on.
If you're trying to...

You're a loser, Larry,
you always were a loser.

Get off my radio station.

So, insomniacs, that
ends another evening

of the sexiest show you'll
ever see on the radio.

Those of you just
going off to work, suffer.

That was great.

- What's the matter?
- That was definitely cool.

Thanks a lot.

I was talking to the chick.

Don't get too comfy in
that drive time slot, buddy.

Val! Val, will you
wait a minute?

What's the matter?
Why'd you run outta there?

It's the show.

What is wrong with the
show? The show's great.

Next rating book that comes out, we'll
be ready to expand to the entire station.

- What's the problem?
- Not if we keep doing what we're doing.

What're you talking about?

- All we ever talk about is sex.
- Yeah, so?

What's the problem with that?

That's what our
audience wants to hear.

No, that's all we give them.

- We're better than that.
- No.

You see, they want to forget
about their pathetic, impotent lives.

It's called escapism,
entertainment.

- What’s the matter?
- Do you trust me?

- Just take me home and find out.
- Jesus!

Val!

Am I gonna see you later?

Haven't gotten
any action lately?

Okay, so, we'll start off with
the "Unfaithfully Yours" sketch.

Ought to get some juicy
confessions on that one.

About 2:30, I think we'll
go to "Fantastic Fetishes."

Okay, let's say we did
talk about something else.

What, for instance,
might that be?

You have a lot of
strong opinions, Gary.

Why don't you say what
you feel for a change?

About what?

Hey, Lancaster, it's Gary
Grover. How're you'll doing?

Tonight...

Tonight, I thought that...

I have something for you
that's gonna be a little...

A little different.

I don't know about you,
but I've got a headache,

so I thought that
we might talk about...

Come on.

Anger, let's talk about
anger for a minute.

Anger is a good thing.

Not that it's, you know, good
to be angry at someone but it's...

But sometimes there are things

in our lives that we
are legitimately angry

about and if you don't
let that anger out...

Let's talk about authority
figures, shall we?

I just can't stand anyone in this world
who has authority over me and abuses it.

You give some loser... A
loser! A uniform or a suit,

and all of a sudden, they think they're
God, making our lives miserable. Why?

Because they can.

Have I ever told you
people about my mother?

My mother owned a lot
of radio stations in her day.

Not that I was ever
employed in any of them

because, you see, she
didn't wanna spoil us.

And when she died, what do you
think this loving, nurturing woman

left me in her will?

Her Chicago station? No.

Her Minneapolis station? No.

All she left me was half
of her Lancaster station.

Half.

And do you know
why she did this?

Because after holding
me back my entire life,

she wanted to keep me under her
thumb from beyond the grave as well!

Have you ever heard anything
more sick, anything more perverse?

In spite of all her success,

my mother was just a greedy,
hateful, wretched, old, shriveled up bitch!

I hope you're in hell, Mother,
because that's what you made my life!

I'll be back right
after these words.

Do you realize
what you just did?

That was unbelievable.
That was better than sex.

I am hereby giving you notice.
Tomorrow is your last show.

You can't do that. Remember?

Christ, will you look
at those phone lines?

Our mother's will
was very, very specific.

No one is to defame
her on the air, ever.

I'm the hottest
thing you got, baby.

You couldn't get rid of
me even if you wanted to.

Oh, you're finished.

All right, you wanna
get rid of me? Fine.

I don't need this place. I can get
a job in another station like that.

Well, I'm not firing you.
I'm just taking you off the air,

and holding onto your contract.

No one else is gonna be
able to touch you for years.

You can't do that to me! I
won't let you do that to me!

- I'm sorry. This whole thing is my fault.
- It's not your fault.

Listen, she lives for vengeance.

Ever since we were kids, she would
take the prize out of the box of cereal,

- or eat all the little tasty treats.
- But if I...

Listen to me, what happened last night
was great radio. You heard the callers.

We are onto something and I'm
not gonna let my sister stop us.

She's got us.

What are we going
to do? Kill her?

That was a rhetorical question.

Give me your hands.

I'm gonna put something
in your head for a change.

We won't get caught.

- We'll kill her while we're on the air.
- What?

She's doing this to both
of us. Val, just hear me out.

We'll pre-tape a segment,
say 20 minutes worth,

and around 1:30
we'll start rolling it.

You'll drive me to Rita's
house. I know her house.

I'll go in the window and
make it look like a burglary.

I'll go to her bedroom.

And while she's asleep,
I'll kill that little rat bitch.

What do you say,
partner? For us.

Let's do it.

Because planning
so many meals a week

and trying to keep
my family satisfied

can be hard work.

Mrs. Anderson discovered
the newly opened Kitchen Cove

in downtown Lancaster.

You ready?

It's great because it has all
sorts of things on the menu

and everybody can
buy things that they like.

Even my son, he's a tough one.
He usually doesn't like anything.

The Kitchen Cove,
at 609 Main Street.

GARY: It's 1:28, Lancaster, and
we are back in Grover's Graveyard.

I thought tonight we might stroll
down a different path than last night

just lighten it up a
bit, what do you say?

Let's talk about the crazy
things we have done for love.

- Be right back.
- Hey, be careful.

Thanks for helping me
break in my new on-air talent.

Rita?

I wasn't too sure about
this self-defense thing,

but Val's plan has worked
perfectly, right from the beginning.

- Please.
- Hey, if it's any consolation,

I think you finally
found an audience.

- You might've been pretty good after all.
- Don't do this.

- I'm your brother, for God's sake.
- An accident of birth.

Give my love to mom.

You see, the problem
was I was nuts about her.

And I was totally blinded
from seeing what a fool I was.

I tell you, it's amazing sometimes,
what you'll do to close the deal.

Folks, this is Valerie and
something awful has happened.

I just popped out for a sandwich

and when I got back,
Gary wasn't here.

But he left this tape playing.

I've just been notified by
the police that Gary is dead.

He's been killed.

It's just...

I know that this is hard for me,

and I'm sure it's
hard for all of us,

but at least we have each other.

And the phone lines are open.

Hi, this is Val.

My gosh, Val, this is
such a terrible thing.

I mean, all I can say is, I'm just so
glad we have you to talk to tonight.

And I feel I can speak on
behalf of everyone here.

People are gonna be
talking, let me tell you.

We all loved the show so much...

Poor Gary!

Talk about being
number one with a bullet!

Looks like he'll be the
mourning man after all!

As for me, kiddies, I guess I
better start practicing what I preach.

I got caught going a little
fester than the speed limit.

But the officer decided to
let me off with a warning.

See? It pays to know
the ghouls of the road.

English -SDH