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1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,072
Ah. Yeah, that's so good.
2
00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:06,840
My back feels like jelly.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,942
Kind of looks like jelly too.
4
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,911
We can't keep so much
chocolate around the house.
5
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,713
Oh, what can I say, honey?
6
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,615
I had a great Halloween.
7
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,518
Something not said
by most adults.
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,454
Okay, your half hour's up.
Time to switch.
9
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,722
Okay.
10
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:25,359
My shoulders have been
so tight lately.
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,660
[ADAM CLEARS THROAT]
12
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:27,728
Mm...
13
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:28,729
Ah.
14
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,865
Oh, that feels so good.
15
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,734
No, wait, what are you doing?
16
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,535
I think you know.
17
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:38,672
No. Don't stop the massage.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,111
Adam.
19
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,878
I'm not holding
any tension in those.
20
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,879
Oh.
21
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,081
[***]
22
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,550
Ten seconds
that massage lasted
23
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,985
before he started
wildly humping me.
24
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:55,022
You got a whole 10 seconds?
25
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,824
What do you mean?
26
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,292
I mean every man turns a massage
27
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:01,495
into sex as fast as they can.
28
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,498
Some of Jeff's
burps last longer.
29
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,101
Longer than his massages or sex?
30
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,403
Yes.
31
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,738
Well, I'm not buying it.
32
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,740
I refuse to accept
that a woman can't get
33
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,942
a simple backrub from
the man she loves.
34
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,644
Uh-huh. Hey, Doreen.
Hm?
35
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,579
Your husband ever give
you a massage?
36
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,781
Sure. How do you think
I got four kids?
37
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,652
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
38
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,788
* How many ways
To say, "I love you?" *
39
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:34,428
* How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? *
40
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,964
* With you by my side *
41
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,333
* There is no denyin' *
42
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,803
* I can't wait
For me and you *
43
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,278
[***]
44
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,616
Hey.
45
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,386
Uh, Russell's not here?
46
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,521
Should be any minute.
47
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,558
[SIGHS]
48
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,569
What's your deal?
49
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,806
I'm...
50
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,208
How--? How do you mean?
51
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:25,213
I don't know, you talk one way,
but you look another, so...
52
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,150
I don't know what's going on.
53
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,220
Mr. Dunbar, over here.
Please, hurry.
54
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,758
Ah, what's going on there,
C-3PO?
55
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:38,726
Chewbacca.
56
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:41,795
What's that?
57
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,830
Oh.
58
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,598
This is a cricket video game
59
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,700
my cousin sent me
from South Africa.
60
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,902
Why? Is it not
legal in the U.S.?
61
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,340
You gotta get it
on the geek market?
62
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,674
Nothing geeky about it.
63
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,843
Cricket is
a tremendously exciting sport.
64
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,346
Sport?
Isn't it that game they play
65
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,281
in all those Harry Potter books?
66
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,049
No, actually that's Quidditch,
67
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,752
and you can only play it if
you're a witch or a wizard.
68
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,554
And it wasn't in all the books,
69
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,756
it wasn't in the seventh
one at all.
70
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,660
And I'm the geek.
71
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,762
I'll have you know
cricket is among
72
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,630
the most popular sports
in the world.
73
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:20,668
Heh. The guy on the box
is wearing a sweater.
74
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:24,872
[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
Oh, Mummy, I'm playing cricket
and it's ever so chilly.
75
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:30,177
Well, I see the ugly
American has weighed in.
76
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,713
At about 20 pounds more than
most doctors would recommend.
77
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,750
Ka-boom.
78
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:41,255
I'm sorry that we can't all have
that ropey, underfed look.
79
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,724
A dunk.
80
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,326
Oh, look, there's a warning:
81
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:48,429
"Not suitable for anyone
who wants to get laid."
82
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:53,567
Windmill jam.
83
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,768
Heh.
84
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,004
So typical.
85
00:03:57,004 --> 00:04:00,374
You can't do it, so you mock it.
86
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,877
Oh, I could do it.
87
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,178
Hm.
88
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:08,849
Well, then why don't you
come on over, and we'll play?
89
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,354
Oh, I have to see this.
90
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,423
All right, fine. We'll call it:
91
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,858
America versus...
92
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:21,295
whatever other crappy
countries play cricket.
93
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,831
The rest of them.
94
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:28,402
Are you sure you wanna invite
the wrath of God into your home?
95
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:33,407
Two words: Bring it.
96
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,845
And come hungry,
I'll make kebabs.
97
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,316
[***]
98
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,520
Wow.
Would you look at him.
99
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,857
How lucky is that mail cart?
100
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,726
Ha-ha. What, you want
that guy to push you?
101
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:57,230
Push, pull, lick.
His call.
102
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,999
AUDREY:
Oh, my God, I know him.
103
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,735
He interviewed for a position
as my assistant last week.
104
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,771
I got a position
I'd like to offer him.
105
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,974
I gotta see him every day?
106
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,943
I hope this isn't
gonna be awkward.
107
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,580
Holy crap. Look at him.
108
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,314
Does anybody have a razor?
109
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,784
I need to shave my legs.
110
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,152
I'm looking for Tracy Sutter.
111
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,320
Oh, that's me.
112
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,624
I won.
113
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,025
[DEEP VOICE]
I'm Tracy.
114
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,760
These are for you.
115
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,761
Hm.
116
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,832
Uh, Laura Foley.
Ms. Laura Foley, single.
117
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,901
Nice to meet you.
I'm Ryan.
118
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,303
Let's see. I know I have
something for you here.
119
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:41,409
I am very excited to receive it.
120
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,143
Hi. Audrey Bingham.
121
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,311
We met last week.
122
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,479
I remember.
123
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,648
Nice to meet you.
124
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,783
Yeah, you too, thanks.
125
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,586
Bingo.
126
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,888
Well, okay, so it is awkward.
127
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,524
I'm gonna have to do something
128
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,025
to make things more comfortable.
129
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,762
I know what I would do...
I could make things real...
130
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,898
Oh, ladies, get a grip.
131
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,567
[***]
132
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,171
Hey.
133
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,339
Oh, hey.
134
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,174
Feel like trading massages?
135
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:17,611
Definitely. I hate reading.
136
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,612
Oh, no, no, no.
137
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,482
Today, I wanna go first.
138
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,484
I bet you do.
139
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,886
No. I want a real massage.
140
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,722
For a half hour with no touching
of my bathing suit areas.
141
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,725
But that just leaves the rest.
142
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,362
Look, I like doing all that
stuff with you--
143
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,564
Ha-ha! Yeah.
144
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,800
But I also love a massage.
145
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,770
So today we're gonna try
no sex, just massage.
146
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,042
I'd rather read.
147
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,043
[SIGHS]
148
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,412
[ADAM CLEARS THROAT]
149
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,181
So, what you wanna
do this weekend?
150
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,650
I kind of wanna find a fair.
151
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,719
One with corn dogs.
152
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:02,490
You know, Adam,
the best masseuses
153
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,791
don't talk to their clients,
154
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,159
they concentrate
on giving the massage.
155
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,795
Sorry.
156
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:20,541
MAN [ON TV]:
And now back to SharkWeek.
157
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,510
Oh, my God!
158
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,545
You can't do
this one thing for me
159
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,779
without the promise of sex.
160
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,715
Honey, it doesn't have
to be "sex" sex.
161
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,282
It can be the other thing.
162
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,685
That's still sex!
163
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:35,523
Yeah, it is.
164
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:38,626
[***]
165
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,697
God, Ryan keeps giving
me dirty looks.
166
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,333
I wish he'd give
me something dirty.
167
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,402
Will you stop? You are at happy
hour with your co-workers,
168
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,505
not Spring Break
at Señor Frog's.
169
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,407
Those were good days.
170
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,043
All right.
This is ridiculous.
171
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,445
I'm gonna go over there
and straighten it out.
172
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,380
Oh, do you mind if I come with?
173
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,315
I'd like to smell him.
174
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,519
Casually mention that I have
a background in burlesque.
175
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,887
[GIGGLES]
No.
176
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:07,888
Really?
177
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,190
Get me drunk
and ask me about Tokyo.
178
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,927
[CLEARS THROAT]
179
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:14,962
Hi.
180
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,196
Hi.
181
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,497
Listen, um,
182
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,932
we're gonna be working together.
183
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,734
I'd really like to clear
things up.
184
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,737
I feel like you're mad at me
because I didn't hire you.
185
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,006
But the thing is it wasn't
anything personal,
186
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,508
it was just there were
a lot of good candidates
187
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,810
and I had to make a choice.
188
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,311
You're young, you're smart,
189
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,081
you're nice-looking. You might
be in the mailroom now,
190
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,783
but trust me,
you're gonna go far.
191
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,350
You really think so?
192
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,819
No. I know so.
193
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,555
So come on. Can we just
put everything behind us
194
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:42,690
and start fresh?
195
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,357
[SIGHS]
196
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,894
Well, okay.
197
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,363
Come on.
198
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,999
[CHUCKLES]
199
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,601
[MOUTHS]
Yeah, yeah.
200
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,902
[MOUTHS]
Go. Go.
201
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,772
Oh, there's my beer.
202
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,207
Oh, hey,
put that on my tab.
203
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,174
That's okay.
204
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,076
Hey,
don't argue with the boss.
205
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,916
So how'd it go?
All better.
206
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,084
I am such a people person.
207
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,854
He filed a sexual
harassment claim?
208
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,556
Yes. Yes.
Against me?
209
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,525
Just this morning
Tracy and Laura,
210
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:22,395
who I'm pretty sure was some
sort of sex worker in Japan,
211
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,665
tried to coerce him
into a game of strip poker.
212
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,933
They weren't mentioned.
213
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,802
You've gotta be kidding me.
214
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,371
No. I don't do that.
215
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,941
[***]
216
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:40,047
[***]
217
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,049
"...unwanted physical
interaction,
218
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,517
"uninvited comments
about his appearance,
219
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,686
"giving him alcohol
220
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,621
"and implying
that his compliance
221
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,690
was tied to his future
at the company."
222
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,861
That's my gal.
223
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,829
God, I can't believe
I got called into
224
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,398
the Human Resource
director's office.
225
00:09:58,398 --> 00:09:59,499
It's so humiliating.
226
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,769
I know,
but you know what else:
227
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,571
I still haven't gotten
a massage from Adam.
228
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,874
Because that's the same thing.
229
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:09,042
Why are you getting
a massage from Adam?
230
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,812
Clearly Audrey's the handsy
one around here.
231
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,782
Thank you for your support.
232
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,549
It's just so frustrating.
233
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,719
I mean, I did nothing wrong.
234
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,788
I am sure if Ryan
and I could just talk--
235
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,622
No.
Yeah, everything would be fine.
236
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,891
No, it wouldn't.
237
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,193
Look, this guy is clearly
a vindictive type.
238
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,128
Just stay away,
let the truth come out.
239
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,732
[LAUGHING]
Look, I can work
this whole thing out,
240
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,366
I'm a people person.
241
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,269
You are?
242
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,439
Yes.
JENNIFER: Audrey.
243
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,242
I think we're overlooking
a valuable resource here.
244
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,312
We happen to have years
of sexual harassment experience
245
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,749
right here with us.
246
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:52,019
Thanks, Jen,
I'll take it from here.
247
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,420
Nice cans, by the way.
248
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,758
The first thing you do
is create a gray area.
249
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,828
Harassment likes facts,
not doubt.
250
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,764
Next, get your hands
on some hush money,
251
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,198
then go to your dad's office,
252
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,168
tell him you're gonna
lay low for a few weeks.
253
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,138
My dad doesn't own
the company, Russell.
254
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,440
Then you're totally boned.
255
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,277
But on the bright
side, nice cans.
256
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,314
[***]
257
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,219
Oh! That was a wicked googly
if I do say so myself.
258
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,824
Don't say so yourself.
Say real things.
259
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:35,062
Get set. Here comes
an absolute jaffa.
260
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,697
Oh! Swing and a miss!
261
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,632
I was down.
You're out for a duck.
262
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,801
Heh-heh.
263
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,903
Yeah, you're out for a duck.
264
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,472
You don't even know
what that means.
265
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,640
I know I'm not out for a duck.
266
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,444
Well, I don't think
we need to continue this.
267
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,446
Sorry, America,
but it looks as though
268
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,183
the rest of the world
has triumphed.
269
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:59,019
You've brought
so much shame to our country.
270
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,621
Look, playing this video game
proves nothing.
271
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,291
It's not like
we're playing the actual game.
272
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,659
Wait, wait, wait.
273
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,395
You're saying you would beat me
274
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,163
if we played
a real game of cricket?
275
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,565
If it involves
a bat and a ball,
276
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:16,303
and even a hint
of testosterone,
277
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,305
I win, you lose.
278
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:21,474
I'll have you know
that back home in South Africa
279
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,742
I was such a fast bowler,
280
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,212
I was known as
the Cape Town Express.
281
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,881
Hm, it sounds like
a stomach virus I had.
282
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,951
Fine. Here's a thought:
Timmy, you're a dork
283
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,953
who actually owns
cricket equipment.
284
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,988
Jeff, you're
a stubborn blockhead
285
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,556
who would actually play him.
286
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,891
I'd play.
As would I.
287
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,559
Well, this works
out perfectly then.
288
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,896
You two are idiots
and I'm bored. Let's do this.
289
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,731
Then it's decided.
290
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:45,732
Yes, it is.
291
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,000
We'll take this outside
292
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,368
and settle it like men.
293
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,804
Great. Where are
we gonna get the men?
294
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,539
[LAUGHS]
295
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,773
Nah?
296
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,742
We should go?
297
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,878
[***]
298
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,753
Are you ready
for a totally legitimate
299
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,522
and completely
non-sexual massage?
300
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,025
Yes, I am.
301
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,961
I can't believe
you did all this.
302
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,395
Well, I realized you were right
303
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,530
and I wanna make up
for all the massages
304
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,798
that I hadn't given you.
305
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,968
I even researched
some great techniques.
306
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,269
Really?
307
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:26,606
Yeah. And you know
how much I hate to read.
308
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,042
Here it goes.
309
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,218
Is that okay, baby?
310
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,390
Yeah, it's great, but maybe
you could ease up a bit.
311
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,758
Okay.
312
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,027
[GROANS]
313
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,632
Is there anything you'd like
me to concentrate on?
314
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,101
Ugh. Not...
315
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,568
crushing...my...
316
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,470
...organs.
317
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,240
[***]
318
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,876
Well, what do you think's
taking him so long?
319
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,645
Uh, ironing a wrinkle
out of his sweater?
320
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,114
[CHUCKLES]
321
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,950
Carb loading on crumpets?
322
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,352
[LAUGHING]
323
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,988
Um...
324
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,456
That's all I got.
325
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,527
[***]
326
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,917
Let's do this.
327
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,522
Shall we?
328
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,324
[***]
329
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,495
This is based
on a Japanese technique.
330
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,531
I think it's
called Reiki or Wreck-u.
331
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,501
It feels like the second one.
332
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:06,106
Now, this is gonna be amazing.
333
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:10,944
[BONES CRACKING]
334
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,713
Ooh! Son of a whore!
335
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,682
Why?
336
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,750
Time for the stomach massage.
337
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,986
Please don't.
338
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,388
No, baby, I insist.
339
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,992
Now, this will help
with digestion.
340
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,194
You may feel
the urge to urinate.
341
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,395
But that's normal.
342
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,665
[GROANING]
343
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,469
What are you doing?
344
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,738
Wha--? Do you have
tension in those?
345
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,107
No. I just have to have you.
346
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,675
No, but, honey, I still have
some kidney work--
347
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,244
Now.
348
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,114
Okay, so I'm going
to give you three chances
349
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,515
to get a hit off me.
350
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,917
Now, to approximate the size
of the cricket field,
351
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,652
we'll use the homeless man
to the south
352
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:56,056
and the shopping cart with the
old chicken carcass to the east.
353
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,624
So let's play.
354
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,293
Uh, shall we wait
for the south boundary
355
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,694
to finish taking a leak?
356
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,102
I don't think we have
that kind of time.
357
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,671
Let's go.
[SIGHS]
358
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:12,739
You ready?
359
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,207
To hit a ball with a stick?
360
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,975
[RUSSELL SNICKERS]
I think so.
361
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,878
All right. Here we go.
362
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,747
[RUSSELL CLAPS]
363
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,882
Big hit, huh?
364
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,417
Come on, now.
365
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,419
[GRUNTS]
366
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:30,257
Oh. Nice swing,
Lou "Gay-rig."
367
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,670
Dude, you're gonna get struck
out by Scooter fromthe Muppets.
368
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,607
[MOUTHS]
That's you.
369
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,677
RUSSELL:
This one.
This one counts.
370
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:52,979
[GRUNTS]
371
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,847
[GROANING]
372
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,183
Ooh.
373
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,619
Right in the googlies.
374
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,754
[GROANS]
375
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,923
You were right.
376
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,526
Cricket is a great game.
377
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,396
Told you.
378
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,764
Wait.
379
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:16,035
Wait, I think
I'm out for a duck.
380
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,171
[***]
381
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,846
We just heard what happened
with you and Ryan.
382
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,581
Yeah, can you believe it?
383
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,782
How was he?
384
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,186
Does he smell like the sea?
385
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,887
Oh, my God, nothing happened.
386
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,657
He has falsely accusing me
of something I didn't do.
387
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,826
Well, that doesn't sound
like my Ryan.
388
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,060
Yeah.
389
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,663
You know, the bar was
the wrong place,
390
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,665
things were misconstrued,
you know?
391
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,900
But I feel like if I just talk
to him again...
392
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,202
So then say something.
393
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,003
Yeah, Jeff
doesn't think I should.
394
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:54,407
Does Jeff know that Ryan's butt
looks like two Twinkies kissing?
395
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,178
Okay. You know what?
396
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,113
Forget Jeff,
I'm gonna fix this.
397
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,649
I am a people person.
398
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,451
BOTH:
You are?
399
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,653
Yes.
It is a known thing. Gosh.
400
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,655
Ahem. Ryan.
401
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:09,689
Ryan. Oh, come on.
402
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,891
Ugh.
Ryan, listen, we need to talk.
403
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,293
I'd like to get on the elevator.
404
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,295
Yeah.
First just hear me out.
405
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:19,466
All right, from the first moment
I met you, I liked you.
406
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,202
And this situation
has been very hard for me
407
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,071
because I have
never done anything
408
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,974
to even remotely
sexually harass you.
409
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,909
I-- What the hell?
410
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,078
No. No.
411
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,847
Oh, God. No. No! No!
412
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,216
[SCREAMING]
413
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,118
Don't just stand there,
rip my dress off! Oh, no!
414
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,920
Tear it off!
415
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,622
Get it off.
416
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,259
I will give you it was
an unfortunate incident.
417
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,428
Audrey, you exposed yourself.
418
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,497
It was an accident.
419
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:54,434
You're the first person to have
this type of accident. Ever.
420
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:58,171
Ugh.
God, this is so unfair.
421
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,340
And you need some
more tape on your dress.
422
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,675
I'm going to have
my own claim soon.
423
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:03,810
Sorry.
424
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,513
The good news is because
of your spotless record
425
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,448
and no prior flashings,
426
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,550
all you have to do
is apologize to Ryan.
427
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,386
I most certainly will not.
428
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,655
He is the one who should be
apologizing to me.
429
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,858
I know it seems unfair,
but it won't go on your record
430
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:22,362
if you apologize
and take a brief suspension.
431
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,531
Oh. I couldn't care less.
432
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,733
You put it on my record,
I did nothing wrong.
433
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,535
Audrey--
No. No. I am standing up
434
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,002
for what is right here.
435
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,472
I'm a people person, you jerk.
436
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,742
Your suspension is with pay.
437
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,278
[***]
438
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,548
I am very sorry that I created
439
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,750
a hostile
work environment for you.
440
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,551
Thank you.
441
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:48,521
I'll be back in a week. Aloha.
442
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:53,693
I mean goodbye.
443
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,396
[CLEARS THROAT]
444
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,866
[***]
445
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,936
[***]
30021
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