All language subtitles for Rules.of.Engagement.S04E04.Ghost.Story.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP.5.1.x265-edge2020_track3_[eng]

I'm glad you guys
introduced us to Ethiopian food.

And now that
I've met Ethiopian food,

it's time to say
goodbye forever.

It feels like it's gonna
be a long goodbye.

I'm re-thinking
opening this door.

Why don't you
come over for dessert?

Oh, we'd love to.
Good call, honey.

Coffee or--

Oh, my God.

Wow.

You guys are pigs.

I don't believe this.
We've been robbed.

Wait, the window.
Adam, did you leave it open?

Did you?
No.

Then yeah, I did.

Wait, wait. What if
they're still here?

You guys stay here
and we'll go check it out.

Hey, honey, I'm home from
the kung-fu studio.

Yeah, and I'm home
from gun practice.

Good. Now they think we're
a super-violent gay couple.

Get in there.

I am so freaked out.

Has anything like this
ever happened to you?

Uh, one time at work,

someone stole a yogurt
with my name on it

right out of the fridge.

So no.

Well, it's all clear.

I checked your
underwear drawer.

Your jewelry is still there.

I checked it too.
He's right.

So, what did they take?
I don't know,

it doesn't
look like anything.

Maybe when we came in
we scared them off.

Hm. I don't think so.

I mean, whoever did this had
time to make toaster waffles

and watch 27 Dresses.

Oh, that was me.

I took a personal day.

Well, I guess we got off
pretty lucky, huh?

I guess.

Or you could that say we don't
have anything worth stealing.

Huh.
All of your stuff stinks.

No, hold on, Jen,
they did take something.

That bowl that was
on the table.

The ceramic one with
the turquoise?

Uh, actually
th-that's our bowl.

We bought it
in New Mexico.

Wait, that cost 180 bucks.

Yes, I know, we brought
over spinach dip once

and they never
returned it.

Oh.

Bad news, guys.

Someone stole your bowl.

[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

* How many ways
To say, "I love you?" *

* How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? *

* With you by my side *

* There is no denyin' *

* I can't wait
For me and you *

[***]

Jeff. Jeff, wake up.

What? What?
Is it the burglar?

Can you handle it?

No, it's not that.
Listen, something just happened.

Something really intense.
Really incredible.

You're welcome.

Awake or asleep, Daddy knows
what Mommy likes, huh?

I am serious. I really
need to talk to you.

Okay.

Okay, now first you have
to promise not to laugh.

Oh, you didn't wake me up

to try on those bike shorts
again, did you?

No, this is serious.

All right,
I promise I won't laugh.

Okay.

I just saw
my grandmother's ghost.

Do you mind
if I go laugh in the can?

I know. I know
it sounds unbelievable.

But I just saw my Grandma
Shirley at the foot of our bed.

She was there, she was
wearing this garnet dress

with this beautiful brooch

she used to let me play with
when I was a kid.

Gosh, she looked
so lovely and peaceful,

with this sweet smile
on her face,

like she was really happy
to see me.

Probably just psyched
to be out of the urn.

I'm sorry, go on.

[SIGHS]

I just--
I always felt so bad

I didn't make it home
to see her before she died,

but now I feel
like it's okay.

You really saw her?

I did.

It wasn't like
a very real dream?

Like the one I had
where me and Lee Majors

were tracking Bigfoot?

No.

No, no, I was awake.

I was sitting up.
She was right there.

It was real.
Huh.

Do you believe me?

Yeah, I do.
I believe you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah. I'm here for you.

I feel so close
to you right now.

Hm.

Hey, Grandma Shirley
isn't still here, is she?

I'm about
to take off my bottoms.

[AUDREY LAUGHS]

[***]

Sir?

I spoke to your gym,
but they maintain their stance

you must participate
in the cardio hip-hop class,

you cannot
just sit and watch.

Call my lawyer.

I contacted the accounting
firm across the street,

but sadly no one
could put me in touch

with "the stacked lady
in the pink thing."

What?!

She's right there.

Pointing at me
and closing the blinds.

And, sir, finally here are
all the bathing suit images

of the French actress
Audrey Tautou.

Yeah. Whoo!

Oh, yeah. Oh.

See, this is one classy girl.

Ooh. Bonjour, side boob.

Merci cup. Heh-heh.

Good job, Timmy.
I tell you what,

take an extra fiver before
you grab me my juice box.

Enormously
kind of you, sir.

But, uh, in lieu
of your generosity today,

may I instead
leave early tomorrow?

Early? Why?

I'd rather not say.

Say.

No, thank you.

No say, no early.

No early, no say.

Sir, I really--
Say!

If you must know, I'm meeting
my fiancée at the airport.

Fiancée? Ha-ha.

Well, that's gotta be wrong.

Uh, Timmy,

are you having trouble
with your English words again?

No,

English is my first language.

Of seven.

I mean "fiancée" as in the woman
I am to marry.

You're engaged?

How am I just hearing
about this?

Surprisingly, I have some
personal information

that you've not yet bribed,
threatened

or twisted my nipple
to obtain.

All right,
get back here

and take your shirt off.
Here we go.

It's an arranged marriage.

My parents are quite
traditionally Indian.

It's part of my culture.

Not sure
how I feel about this.

How big are the old fun bags?

I am not as yet familiar
with the old fun bags.

She's coming to visit relatives

and I will meet her
for the first time tomorrow.

Come on,
you haven't even met her yet?

My parents met
on their wedding day

and have been happily married
for nearly three decades.

Ay, caramba.

Wow, your culture
sure has its quirks.

It's bad enough they make you
wear the feathery hats

and talk to
the eagles and stuff.

It is, in fact,
not that bad, sir,

because, once again,
I'm not that kind of Indian!

All right, you don't have
to scalp me over this.

[***]

I just can't believe someone
in this day and age

would go through
with an arranged marriage.

My marriage to Audrey
was arranged.

By vodka.

I gotta find a way to show Timmy
he's making a huge mistake.

I hate to see him forced to do
something he doesn't wanna do.

You do that to him
all the time.

I know. The other day
I made him touch a dead pigeon.

I'm just saying,
this is New York.

You can't leave the window open.

I burnt my toaster waffles

and I couldn't watch
27 Dresses with all that smoke.

I can't believe we have nothing
worth stealing.

It's embarrassing.
It's not embarrassing.

Yeah, it's a little
embarrassing.

Why don't you just
get some decent stuff?

Here's an idea.

Why don't you go
50 miles north of Santa Fe,

lay 180 bucks on an old Navajo
broad and get a bowl.

Hello.

Wow, you look great.
You're glowing.

Something really incredible
happened last night.

Guilty.

No, not that.

Okay, you guys,
this was truly unbelievable.

It was, like, 4 in the morning
and all of a sudden--

Audrey, I thought that was
a private thing.

No, I want to share it with
our friends. And Russell.

Anyway, so I woke up

and I looked
at the end of my bed,

and I saw my grandma's ghost.

Hm.

Wow.

Jeff, you might wanna hide
the key to the booze closet.

We shouldn't make fun of her.
I met her grandma once.

If you see her again,
will you tell her I said boo?

I guess I should have expected
this. But I know what I saw.

Jeff believes me.

The man who's skeptical
Puerto Rico is real?

Yes. Tell them.

I believe that
you believe you saw a ghost.

What?

We don't really know what
you saw last night, do we?

We don't?

No. We do not.

Look at that.
Printed in Puerto Rico.

I stand corrected.

[***]

[***]

Hey there, pumpkin.

Wow. You look stunning.

You don't really know
what I saw last night? Huh?

You believe
I believe I saw a ghost?

I don't believe
I used that tone.

Do you know how embarrassing
that was for me?

My own husband
wouldn't even support me

in front of our friends.

In my defense, you caught me
a little off-guard

when you told your kooky
ghost story out in public.

Kooky ghost story?

Again,
I may be saying these things,

but you're putting a lot
of extra mustard on them.

So you never believed me?

Well, in the moment,
I guess I-- No.

So you just lied to, what,

make me feel better
and get some sex out of it?

Right, because I thought
seeing your dead grandmother

would get you all teed up.

You are unbelievable.
I'm sorry,

but I can't choose to believe
something because you do.

If I said something
completely crazy,

would you believe me,
no matter what?

I would.

Well, that's just stupid.

No. No.
You know what's stupid?

Me thinking I could share
something important

with my husband and not feel
vulnerable and ridiculed.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I am so boned
if that's Grandma Shirley.

Huh?
Not even close.

[***]

Hey.

Hey, you like magic?

Wanna see me pull
something out of my pants?

Come on.
It's a scarf.

It's not a scarf.

Hey, there he is.
Have a seat.

Yes, I'm here.
What was so important?

I've been thinking about your
little arranged marriage thing.

Still?
Yes.

I don't think you're focusing
enough on what you're giving up.

I give you exhibits A, B, C,

and double D.

Sir, with all due respect--

And frankly,
I'm not sure any is due.

--I understand that you're
against marriage,

or any arrangement
God might sanction.

But I'm not you.

But you can be.

I don't want to be.

[IN SINGSONG]
I think you do.

I truly do not.

Sir, this has been a custom
in my culture for centuries.

And I will not be the first in
my family to challenge that.

[SIGHS]
WOMAN: Oh, hey, Russell.

Hey. What are you guys
doing here?

What do you mean?
You're paying us 400 bucks.

And no checks
this time.

Take it easy.

Hey, Timmy, I'd like
you to meet my friends.

This is Monica.
Karen.

And Susan.
Jill.

It's so weird
you guys are here.

[WHISPERS]
I think Monica likes you.

I think
she prefers Karen, sir.

Oh. She likes
the other one?

Jackpot!

I will not let myself
be dragged down to your level.

Your life is not exactly
an advertisement

for happily ever after.
Good night.

Oh, so that's it?

[SIGHS]

Looks like your friend's not
into it. Wanna call this off?

No.

[***]

Adam, look.

Oh, my God, you're right.

My hair is nuts right now.

No, this picture.

You remember
the night we met,

we took that walk
through Central Park,

and you kissed me
on the bridge?

This is that picture.

Oh, yeah.

And for the record,
honey, you kissed me.

I got tired of waiting for you
to make a move.

Tired of waiting?

I met you like
20 minutes before.

Hey, let's come back
tomorrow and buy it.

Really?
Yeah.

We need to start accumulating
some grown-up stuff.

You know, like that stupid bowl
Jeff and Audrey used to have.

Yeah, we're adults.

We should start
acting like it.

Starting now.

Starting now.

[***]

Audrey, Audrey.
What? What is it?

I just saw her.
I saw Grandma Shirley.

Jeff!
I'm serious.

She was right here,
just like you described it.

With the dress and the brooch,
all that old lady gear.

All right,
it is one thing

to make me feel bad
in front of our friends.

And Russell.

But waking me up just
to mock me--

I'm not.
I saw her, I swear.

And now I know
that you saw her too.

You do?
You actually saw her?

Absolutely. It's real.

I'm sorry that I didn't support
you, it must've felt terrible.

Sorry.

Okay.
I accept your apology.

Thank you.

And you're not just
doing this to get sex?

Absolutely not.

[SIGHS]

We could still have sex
just because, right?

[***]

This is so exciting.

I know. I can't wait
to get home and hang it up.

Oh, wait. Allow me.

Oh.

Thank you.

[***]

And then Adam turned around,
and it was gone.

Well, look on the bright side.

That's what I've been
trying to tell her.

What is the bright side?

For a brief moment, you owned
something worth stealing.

Oh, lookie here.
Does the fun ever start?

Well, isn't this nice
that everyone's here.

Jeff has something important

he would like to tell you
about last night.

Isn't that right, Jeff?
What are you doing?

If it really happened,

you should have no problem
telling them.

What are you guys
talking about?

You didn't think your act last
night got you off the hook?

Okay, I get it.

Well, last night I saw
Audrey's grandma's ghost.

And it was scary

and a little bit magical.

I know it's hard to believe,
but I know what I saw.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Boy, did that just
give me goose bumps.

Wait, you believe him?

Um, Audrey,

I don't think
Jeff would lie about this.

Neither would I.

That is a freaky story,
Jeff.

I'm never gonna come to
your place again.

Deal.

Hold on. I saw the same ghost,
and you all made fun of me.

Audrey, don't sponge off
Jeff's ghost.

It wasn't Jeff's ghost,
it was my ghost.

He didn't even believe me.

If your own husband
doesn't believe you,

how do you expect us to?

No, he is lying.
He didn't see anything. I did.

Sour grapes.

You know, newsflash, people:
ghosts are real.

Deal with it.
My friend saw--

What the hell is happening here?
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

This is terrible.

What, are they taking
Trojan Juniors off the market?

RUSSELL:
Nah, it's Timmy.

He's on his way
to the airport.

He's about to make the worst
mistake of his life.

Wait a minute.
This has been bugging me.

He's okay with
an arranged marriage,

so why do you care so much?

It's complicated.
Okay.

[***]

RUSSELL:
Timmy.

Timmy.

Sir,
what are you doing here?

Listen, you're making a big
mistake. Come with me, buddy.

I'm very well aware
of your feelings.

But now I'd like to meet
my future bride alone.

Okay, look, Timmy, um,

I haven't been totally upfront
about why I'm against this.

Uh, I know I'm not exactly
known as Mr. Romantic.

Oh, I would disagree, sir.
Most women swoon when they see

the "No Fat Chicks" placard
on your office door.

Okay, okay.

All right,
here's the thing.

I actually do
believe in love.

I believe there's
a special person out there

for each and every one of us.

That person
isn't chosen by your family.

It's chosen right here,
inside.

Just kiss him already.

Get out of here, you bat.

Sir, this is
your weakest ploy yet.

It's not a ploy.

Why do you think
I go through so many women?

Maybe it's because
my Uncle Glen hugged me

in the pool too much
when I was a kid.

I think it's because

I'm searching for
that special person.

And that's kind of
what you're giving up.

You're being sincere.

Yes, I am.

You deserve to find
your own special person.

I--

Well, I've never seen
this side of you before,

Mr. Dunbar, and to be honest,
for the first time

I think you may actually
have a point.

I do.

Don't you want
what everyone wants?

That moment you see her,

and you realize
your search is over?

Timmy?

[***]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[SIGHS]

Huh?

That's tacky.

That's an insult to bowls.

That's more of a plate,
dude.

No!

[SIGHS]

When are we gonna tell him
we found the bowl at our place?

Ah, when it stops being fun.

Heh-heh. It is fun.

[***]

[***]