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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:02,960
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,089
Hey, Dopey, Grumpy.
3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,507
Sleazy.
4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,052
Sleazy wasn't a dwarf.
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,094
He is now.
6
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:15,557
Well, my height was just fine
for Miss Tiffany last night.
7
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:16,224
And it's official.
8
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:19,644
I've finally slept with
a woman from all 50 states.
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:24,191
Oh, wow. Really?
Was she, like, an Army brat?
10
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,070
No. Different women,
one from--
11
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,572
You know,
he just slows us down.
12
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:31,989
Well, 50 states, huh?
13
00:00:31,989 --> 00:00:34,951
I guess America really
is the home of the brave.
14
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,704
You're just jealous
because you're married
15
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,164
and don't get any.
16
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,832
I get all the sex I want.
17
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,667
Why do you want so little?
18
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,794
Yeah, and you have
to jump through hoops
19
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,296
for the paltry amount
you do get.
20
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,466
Like letting Audrey buy
expensive jewels or clothing,
21
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,219
or listen to her flap
about her boring job.
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,052
[CHUCKLES]
23
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,011
You should be on my side.
24
00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:55,430
You're more married
than single.
25
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,599
Yeah, but Jen and I
have sex all the time.
26
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,517
All the time?
All the time.
27
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,478
Same as when you first met?
28
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,022
Pretty-- Pretty much.
29
00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:06,691
Ah.
"Pretty much."
30
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,151
That's how it all starts.
31
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,444
Yeah, add 10 pounds
to your head
32
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:12,072
and you're gonna be Jeff
in five years.
33
00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:14,699
No, you are way off.
34
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:17,034
Mm, 20 pounds?
35
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:20,997
RUSSELL: Hey, Timmy.
Hey, gentlemen. Mr. Dunbar.
36
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,790
Here you go, sir.
As per your request,
37
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,335
I transferred your
old pornography to DVD.
38
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,919
All right. Good job.
39
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:28,671
You know what?
Take one home as a bonus.
40
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,966
Oh, thank you. You're
very kind, but I'll pass.
41
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,553
Well, I'm sure you're wondering
how my date went last night.
42
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:38,765
Yes, indeed. Who did the lady
think she was going home with?
43
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,934
Zack Thunder
or Danny Dakota?
44
00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:43,603
I went with Danny Dakota.
45
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,230
You know,
the race car driver
46
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,232
who broke every bone
in his body.
47
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,151
Except one.
48
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,903
Wait, hold on. You pretended
to be somebody else?
49
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,363
Talk about jumping
through hoops.
50
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,865
You gotta invent a whole
new persona to get some.
51
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:56,991
No, no, no,
I don't have to.
52
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,702
I like to mix it up.
You know, keep it fresh.
53
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:00,912
At least I got some.
54
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,664
Yeah, well,
I can get it too.
55
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,166
Care to make this
more interesting?
56
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,377
Oh, you mean this could
get more interesting?
57
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:11,548
My God, what an exciting
time to be alive.
58
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,924
All right.
59
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,008
I propose a challenge.
60
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:15,635
Single guy
versus married guy.
61
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,637
Who can get it
whenever they want it.
62
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,264
Fine, let's say tonight.
63
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,307
Let's say tonight.
64
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,391
There's gotta be
some rules.
65
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,101
You're not allowed
to lie or pay for it.
66
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:30,942
Dude, you're tying
my hands a little bit.
67
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,652
And no tying their hands.
68
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:36,406
Well, I like when I--
All right, fine.
69
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,032
Oh, what about me?
I want in.
70
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,202
Why?
To prove I am not becoming you.
71
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,536
All right, fine,
you can play.
72
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,580
All right.
I'm the ringer.
73
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,706
RUSSELL:
Yes, we get it.
74
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,500
Your fiancée's a little easy
with the:
75
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,168
[SQUEAKING]
76
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:54,216
Those were sex noises, in case
you forgot what they sound like.
77
00:02:56,801 --> 00:03:00,305
My Lord, that is funny.
78
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,640
Okay, Timmy, stick
with Russell tonight,
79
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,017
make sure he doesn't lie
to get sex.
80
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:05,685
Grand.
81
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,770
You can just say okay.
TIMMY: No.
82
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:11,608
You'll pay me a grand.
83
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,610
Fine, but you can't
tell Audrey
84
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,069
about the challenge
to get some.
85
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,364
Yeah, because if I told her
there was a sex bet,
86
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,990
she'd be on her back
in a heartbeat.
87
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,950
All right, let's meet
back here at midnight.
88
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,536
See who got the job done.
Or shall I say
89
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,204
who else
got the job done.
90
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,539
How much are we playing for?
91
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,749
Nothing.
Gentlemen's bet.
92
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:32,337
Hm, never before has an
adjective been less appropriate.
93
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,380
This is bigger than money.
94
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,673
This is to determine,
once an for all
95
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,133
what man is at his peak.
96
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:40,470
Single, engaged or dead.
97
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,805
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
98
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:47,394
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪
99
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:52,565
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪
100
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,235
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪
101
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,529
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪
102
00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:02,033
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪
103
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,080
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
104
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,208
Hey, hon.
Hey.
105
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:13,461
I'd like some sex.
106
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,797
[LAUGHS]
107
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,591
W-Wait, you're not joking?
108
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,177
No, ma'am, I am not.
109
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,595
All right,
I'll tell you what.
110
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,848
Let's have some dinner and
then we'll fool around after.
111
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:28,643
After's not good.
112
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,270
Now is good.
113
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,064
Why?
Well, the longer we wait,
114
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,817
the more chance
I'll say or do something stupid
115
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,026
to ruin the mood.
116
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,279
Last week, we were
sharing that bottle of wine
117
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,657
but you were wearing those
pants that made you look-- See?
118
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,240
Right there.
119
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,202
Almost did it again.
Now is the time, Audrey.
120
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,204
Now is the time.
121
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,289
Why not?
122
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,499
Really? Awesome.
123
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:52,584
[CHUCKLES]
124
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,337
Mm, wait,
there's a problem.
125
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,213
Dinner will be ready
in 15 minutes.
126
00:04:57,213 --> 00:05:00,300
Since when
is that a problem?
127
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,135
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
128
00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,971
Oh, look at me.
129
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,097
[CHUCKLES]
130
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:11,268
Not screwing it up,
not screwing it up...
131
00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:12,729
Aah! Oh, God!
132
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,898
What? You've seen
it before.
133
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:19,569
Uh, there was a mouse!
I saw him run out the door.
134
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,655
Oh, well,
then we're good to go.
135
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,531
Oh, God!
136
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,743
I can't be romantic
when there's a mouse in here.
137
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,703
Who said it had to be romantic?
138
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,832
I'll take care of it.
139
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,083
Ugh.
140
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,002
There you go.
141
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,504
Oh, no!
142
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:41,257
You are not smashing a poor
little mouse with a bat.
143
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,800
Tennis racket?
144
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,844
Honey, you have to catch it
and set it free.
145
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:48,598
Why? So it'll come back
and grant me three wishes?
146
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,682
Forget it, Jeff.
147
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,851
Not with a mouse,
not in this house.
148
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,979
Would you,
could you, in the hall?
149
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,441
I'm gonna take care of it
but when I come back,
150
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,777
sex is on.
Fine, fine, fine.
151
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,861
Just-- Just go.
Go, go.
152
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,571
I'll get the big pot
from the kitchen.
153
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,657
Oh, no. I don't want
a mouse in my good pot.
154
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,576
Is there any worse
than that chili you made?
155
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,370
See?
156
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,541
This is why
we should've already done it.
157
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,878
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
158
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:19,837
Hello?
159
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,631
JENNIFER:
I'm in the bedroom.
160
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,799
[CHUCKLES]
161
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,591
Yeah, you are.
162
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,176
This is gonna be too easy.
163
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,596
It's like having sex
with fish in a barrel.
164
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,475
Yeah.
165
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,230
What's going on?
166
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:40,232
I don't feel good at all.
167
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,734
You don't?
168
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,612
Honey, because you look hot.
169
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,780
I am hot.
170
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,699
My temperature is 102.
171
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,534
Mm.
[COUGHS]
172
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,243
Oh, You feel okay to me.
173
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:52,745
Wanna fool around?
174
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,330
No! I--
175
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,874
Everything hurts.
Don't touch me.
176
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,209
[JEN COUGHS]
177
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:01,671
Don't touch you?
178
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,964
But...
179
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,424
I'm the ringer.
180
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,136
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
181
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,181
Oh, yeah.
This will be no troub.
182
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:17,061
I'll be home watching
Masterpiece Theatre in no time.
183
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,896
Sir, if I may.
184
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,648
Don't you get
a wee bit tired
185
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:21,649
of constantly
trying to score?
186
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:25,236
Isn't the goal to meet someone
to spend your life with?
187
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:25,820
[SCOFFS]
188
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,863
You've got
some weird ideas
189
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:30,032
banging around that coconut
of yours, Timmy, all right?
190
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,118
Try to stay focused.
191
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,037
Forgive me, sir,
I forgot I'm merely here
192
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:35,997
to monitor your sex bet.
193
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:40,251
[IN ROBOTIC VOICE]
"I forgot I'm merely here
to monitor your sex bet."
194
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:44,380
How are you not getting laid
with that accent, my man?
195
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,674
What about this one
right here?
196
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,135
Uh, looks drunk,
damaged, and braless.
197
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,220
A fastball down Broadway
for you, sir.
198
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:54,265
But remember, no lying.
199
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,020
No lying.
No lying.
200
00:07:59,020 --> 00:07:59,896
Hi.
201
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,147
Hi. I'm Lacey.
202
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:04,275
I'm Danny Dakota.
Ah, damn it.
203
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,737
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
204
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,744
Well, I got him.
Oh, thank God.
205
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,454
You should've seen it.
It's pretty ugly close up.
206
00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:19,666
Kinda like
your friend Liz.
207
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,710
Wow, take that, Liz.
208
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,337
He does not like
being cooped up.
209
00:08:25,337 --> 00:08:26,964
Oh, God, just get it out--
210
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,591
Oh!
[SCREAMS]
211
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,466
What? What?
212
00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:32,094
The mouse just
ran across my foot!
213
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,137
I thought it was in the box.
214
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:37,016
Wait, why were my shoes
in the...box?
215
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,351
Did you not catch him?
You were lying?
216
00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:42,605
Only so you
would enjoy your sex.
217
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,314
Oh!
218
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,857
I'm not going to
enjoy any sex
219
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,025
in an apartment
full of vermin.
220
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,360
Okay, look, I promise
I will get him this time.
221
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,573
And then we'll have the
post-mouse-hunting love making.
222
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,366
Ew! Okay,
don't say love making.
223
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:57,203
That's almost
as disgusting as the mouse.
224
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:01,040
Okay, then it'll be
"wham, bam, thank you, ma'am."
225
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,919
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
226
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,965
Okay.
227
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,258
Here we go.
Oh...
228
00:09:11,258 --> 00:09:12,719
Oh, that feels nice.
Yeah?
229
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,263
Hey, maybe a little physical
activity would be good for you.
230
00:09:16,263 --> 00:09:17,098
No, I'm too achy.
231
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,350
Oh, but honey,
you know what they say.
232
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,143
You starve a fever,
233
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,770
have sex with a cold.
234
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,396
Who says that?
235
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:27,942
People who know.
Just relax.
236
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,318
[GROANS]
237
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,070
Mm, you like that?
238
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:31,988
No, it's my head.
239
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,907
It feels like a giant bucket
of snot and phlegm.
240
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,993
Hey,
you know what might help?
241
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,954
You not saying stuff
like that.
242
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,290
Oh, I think I'm gonna puke.
243
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,252
Well, hurry back.
244
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,087
Okay, mouse.
245
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,589
Prepare to be outsmarted
246
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,342
by your intellectual superior.
247
00:09:56,303 --> 00:10:00,474
Oh, yeah, gotta tie
this to the pencil.
248
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:01,809
[GASPS]
249
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,603
Ow!
250
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,271
What?
251
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,440
So sensitive. God!
252
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,233
Really, sir?
253
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,818
What?
You said to be honest.
254
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:14,446
So I did what you said.
It looked like it was a goiter.
255
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:17,033
Honest about yourself.
256
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,535
Ah.
Now, you can do this.
257
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:20,577
Let's give it another go.
258
00:10:20,577 --> 00:10:22,997
[IN COCKNEY ACCENT]
All right, guvnor.
259
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:23,831
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
260
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,584
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, this is probably
dum-dum calling to brag.
261
00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:28,836
What?
ADAM:Hey.
262
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,297
How's it going?
It's going amazing.
263
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,091
I'm seconds away
from closing the deal.
264
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,134
Hold on.
265
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,678
[UNZIPPING]
266
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:37,511
Hear that?
267
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,723
That the sound of my fly
being unzipped.
268
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,100
Give me a minute.
Hear that?
269
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,311
That's the girl that's
unzipping my fly.
270
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,147
I'm telling her
to just give me a minute.
271
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,607
By any chance,
is she, like, sick?
272
00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:53,110
No, no. I haven't
slept with her yet.
273
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,571
How's it going with you?
274
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,074
The sex is gonna happen
any second now.
275
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,241
[JENNIFER RETCHES]
276
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,160
Oh, there she is.
She's calling me.
277
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,039
I guess I'll see you
in an hour and 44 minutes.
278
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,540
How long?
279
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:10,044
Oh, I had no idea we had
such little time left.
280
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,420
Oh, understandable,
sir.
281
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,129
Your watch is clear down
282
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,173
the other end
of your tentacle.
283
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,174
Ah, ah.
284
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,592
Don't get mouthy, Timmy.
285
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:19,136
It's time to get down
to beeswax.
286
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,098
Hey, there.
I like that coat.
287
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,683
Thank you. It's crushed velvet.
Oh, it is?
288
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,979
Well, is your name Velvet?
'Cause I have a crush.
289
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,313
[LAUGHS]
290
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,399
Ah, you've just been
charmed by Russell.
291
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,193
Sarah.
Sarah?
292
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,029
I'm in commercial real
estate. What do you do?
293
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:37,905
I'm a flight attendant.
294
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,866
Oh, that's interesting.
Where are you based?
295
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,367
Here in New York,
but this is the first time
296
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,661
I've been home for a while.
I've been doing trips to Asia.
297
00:11:44,661 --> 00:11:47,164
Oh, that's a small world.
298
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,124
I was, uh, stationed in Asia
299
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,501
during my time
with the Peace Corps.
300
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,919
No, he wasn't.
301
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,587
Goodbye, Sarah.
302
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:56,048
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
303
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,012
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
304
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:04,140
How come you used a Cheerio
instead of cheese?
305
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,933
Interesting story.
306
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,102
I ate all the cheese.
307
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,604
Oh, my God, there it is.
Oh, getin there.
308
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,688
Get in there.
309
00:12:11,688 --> 00:12:13,232
It kind of
does look like Liz.
310
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,567
JEFF:
Get in there.
311
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,361
Go, go.
Yes!
312
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:20,364
Score!
I can't believe that worked!
313
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,866
I'm a genius.
314
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,534
I'll put him in
the garbage downstairs.
315
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,536
What? You can't
put him in the garbage.
316
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:26,871
You have to let him go
in the park.
317
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,998
At this time of night?
I'll get mugged.
318
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,457
I'll go with you.
319
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:32,168
We can't go out
into the world,
320
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,628
What if I get into a fight
with someone on the elevator?
321
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:38,465
Like that fat idiot on 9,
or that skinny jerk on 4?
322
00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:39,884
Or sex will be
in jeopardy.
323
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:43,762
Boy, you really
want me tonight.
324
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,764
It's kind of a turn-on.
Yeah. Good.
325
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,433
Because that thing
you just said?
326
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,102
That's our foreplay.
Let's go.
327
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,605
Ah. Come on. Come on.
Relax.
328
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:54,773
There's no air holes
in this box.
329
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:59,070
Do you want Little Liz to die?
Come on, let's hit the stairs.
330
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,446
What--?
331
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,323
Oh, my God.
332
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,078
[JENNIFER MOANING]
333
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,079
[CHUCKLES]
334
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,331
Is that Jennifer?
335
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,999
There's no mouse in there.
336
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,250
Yeah, you should talk to her.
337
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,837
She's getting a reputation.
338
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,051
Are you feeling
any better?
339
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,469
No.
Damn it!
340
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,597
You're really upset
that I'm sick, aren't you?
341
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,100
Yeah, it's just terrible.
Look,
342
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,727
I've got
a lot of medicine here.
343
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,729
"Fast acting."
344
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,065
"Immediate relief."
345
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,318
"Time release"?
346
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,736
Why would I buy that?
347
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,364
I can't take these all together.
Why not?
348
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,115
Honey, it'll be a race
349
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,367
to see which one makes
you feel better first.
350
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,995
Let's just start with this one.
351
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,582
Oh, it says only two.
Oh, honey,
352
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,542
that's just
the recommended dosage.
353
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:58,045
These are very
loose guidelines.
354
00:13:58,045 --> 00:13:59,005
Are you trying to kill me?
355
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,799
It's not all about you,
okay? Just take your medicine.
356
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,348
You feel better?
357
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,267
I just took them.
358
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,269
Oh, yeah.
359
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,562
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
360
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,564
What about now?
361
00:14:17,564 --> 00:14:19,191
No.
God!
362
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:24,238
What part of "fast acting"
doesn't your body understand?
363
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,698
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
364
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,327
Uh, who else can I hit on?
How about this girl over here?
365
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,873
You already told her
you were the musician Beck.
366
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,749
Oh, yeah.
God, that used to work.
367
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,544
That dude needs
another hit.
368
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,297
Who else do I look like?
369
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,257
Ellen.
370
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,138
You know,
maybe Jeff was right.
371
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:49,680
About what, sir?
372
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,434
I can't pick up women
without lying to them.
373
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,938
Sir, if I may.
Sure.
374
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,230
Ow!
375
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,524
You are Russell Dunbar.
376
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:03,402
You are an interesting,
successful man.
377
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,446
You need not lie,
for you already possess
378
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,907
all the necessary qualities
to coax a drunken woman
379
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,952
of questionable morals
into bed.
380
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,956
Really?
Are you just saying that?
381
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,960
No, I'm not, sir.
No, I'm not.
382
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:19,585
Now look over there.
383
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,878
She's alone, on her
third Cadillac margarita,
384
00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,839
and a short while ago
I noticed her crying.
385
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,800
Now, you have 47 minutes
to make this happen.
386
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,886
Now get out there
and just be yourself.
387
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,224
Not bad, Timmy.
Thanks.
388
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,851
Well, sir,
I've come to see you
389
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,769
as not merely a boss,
but also a friend.
390
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:40,814
And friends are there
for one another.
Great.
391
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,525
Now I only have
46 minutes.
392
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,070
Hey, I'm Russell.
393
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,489
I couldn't help
but notice you over here.
394
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,573
I'm Deborah.
395
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:50,366
What do you do, Deborah?
396
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,867
I work with
at-risk teenagers.
397
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:55,329
That's a coincidence,
because, uh--
398
00:15:56,663 --> 00:15:57,164
[SIGHS]
399
00:15:57,164 --> 00:16:00,792
I've never helped
anybody in my whole life.
400
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:01,585
Wow.
401
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,129
That's honest.
402
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,130
Yeah, it is.
403
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,839
Actually kind of refreshing.
404
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,383
Really?
Yeah.
405
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:11,345
Well, I'm also one of the most
selfish people you'll ever meet.
406
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,721
You're so cute.
407
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,764
Oh, thanks.
408
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,307
You know, I have lifts
in my shoes
409
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,977
and I'm not ashamed
I look like Ellen.
410
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,566
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
411
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,862
All right.
412
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,740
Go, mouse. Be free.
Go on. Get.
413
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:35,911
Oh, I miss him already.
Pull your pants down.
414
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,663
[LAUGHING]
Relax.
415
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:38,998
Let's just go home.
416
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:39,665
No, there's no time.
417
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,209
We have got to do it
right here, right now.
418
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,377
Why?
Because
419
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,421
we're in the park,
and together,
420
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:48,049
and the moon and the stars.
It's so romantic.
421
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,052
Come on, let's do it
in the dirt behind that tree.
422
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:51,968
[MOANS]
423
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,720
[LAUGHING]
You're crazy.
424
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,597
Yes, for you.
Let's go.
425
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,599
[LAUGHS]
426
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,229
JEFF:
Oh, yeah. Get you out of that.
427
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,522
[AUDREY LAUGHING]
428
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,566
What's going on back there?
429
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,693
Um...
430
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,321
Just give us a minute,
officer.
431
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,530
I don't think so.
432
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,283
I literally mean one minute.
433
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,118
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
434
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,037
Let me get my coat.
435
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,997
My apartment is
just around the corner.
436
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,500
She's taking me home.
437
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,751
I didn't have
to lie about anything.
438
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:27,421
Mm-hm, because you're good
enough just the way you are.
439
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,715
That's right.
No more lame facade.
440
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,093
To the real you.
Mm-hm.
441
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,221
Ow! God!
442
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,138
My tooth!
443
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,806
Are you all right, sir?
444
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,725
Oh, I don't know.
445
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,976
How does it look?
446
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,103
I'm back.
447
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,771
All right.
448
00:17:44,771 --> 00:17:46,022
Oh, my God!
449
00:17:46,022 --> 00:17:47,399
Um, I-- I--
450
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,401
I forgot, I have to go.
451
00:17:50,026 --> 00:17:53,155
No, what? What?
452
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,406
Dude...
453
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,950
How much time I got left?
454
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,538
Not enough.
455
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,541
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
456
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,170
Oh. Oh.
457
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,965
I must have dozed off.
458
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,509
Wow, it's almost midnight.
459
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:18,389
Oh, look who suddenly
cares about the time.
460
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:20,599
You know what?
461
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,435
I think I feel
a little better.
462
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,271
Really?
Yeah.
463
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:29,816
Thanks to you for being so
sweet and taking care of me.
464
00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:31,402
Anytime, baby.
465
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,445
You know that
I'm here for you.
466
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,322
[CHUCKLES]
467
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:40,619
[MOANS]
468
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,455
Okay, night-night.No!
469
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,208
No! No night-night!
No night-night!
470
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,835
No!
471
00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:53,215
And that, my friends,
is how this happened.
472
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:57,178
Wow, that was some rough sex.
473
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,762
Eh, I've had rougher.
474
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,932
All right, single guy's
on the board. Married guy?
475
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,768
Well, your story's
pretty hard to top.
476
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,313
But I'm about to do it.
477
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:10,566
Citation for public lewdness.
478
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,653
Audrey and I
did it in the park.
479
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,282
Lewdly.
480
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:19,700
Wow.
481
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,620
Married guy surprises us.
Ringer?
482
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,247
Okay, well...
483
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:30,586
When I walked in, I mean,
she was already in bed and hot.
484
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,463
Right? So I--
485
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,381
I mean, I-- I--
486
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:36,091
Oh, God,
I can't do this.
487
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,886
The truth is Jennifer is really
sick and I didn't get any.
488
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,263
Pretty lame, right?
489
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,265
I could've lied,
but you guys are my friends.
490
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,892
And friends
don't lie to each other.
491
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,189
All right, well...
492
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,024
I've got something to say.
493
00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:54,443
You suck!
Ha-ha!
494
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,445
We did it
and you didn't.
495
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,446
How about this?
496
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,615
Laid, lewd, loser! Yeah!
497
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,702
Your fiancée is a slut
and you still didn't get any!
498
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,704
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
499
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,167
[PANTING]
500
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,671
That was great, Danny.
501
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,047
Well...
502
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:19,926
We Dakotas
are a passionate lot.
503
00:20:19,926 --> 00:20:21,470
And you were so limber.
504
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,765
I can't believe you broke
every bone in your body.
505
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,933
Every bone except...
506
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,979
...one.
507
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:34,190
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
508
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,195
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
34629
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