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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,045
I'll have the chocolate
chip pancakes. Extra butter.
2
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,213
Meat lover's scramble.
Side o' bacon.
3
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:07,465
[LAUGHS]
Wow. Is it a race to see
4
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:10,760
who's heart explodes first?
5
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,595
It is now.
6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,556
Nothing for me.
That's a good call.
7
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,933
You were looking
at bronze anyway.
8
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,060
I have to go
to the office early
9
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,895
so I can do a bunch of stuff
for freakin' Deirdre.
10
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,522
Who's freakin' Deirdre?
11
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,481
This woman I work with.
12
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:25,400
She's pregnant
and totally annoying.
13
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,030
It is annoying when people
create other people.
14
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,489
No, she was always
annoying.
15
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,284
But now it's all:
"Oh, I'm pregnant.
16
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,827
"I've never felt
like such a woman.
17
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,455
Who wants to guess
if it's a boy or girl?"
18
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,041
Girl, I guess girl.
19
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,625
The worst part is,
our boss Laura
20
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,545
is just falling all over herself
to make Deirdre's life easy.
21
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,839
Including having me
do all of her work.
22
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,257
And I'm sure it doesn't help
23
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,343
that you and Jeff have
been trying for a while.
24
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,386
Pretty casually, though.
I mean, whatever.
25
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,222
If it happens, great.
But we don't wanna put
26
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,141
any pressure on ourselves.
Except for the pressure
27
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,352
of you on me.
28
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,897
Come on. Where's that handsome
dummy of yours?
29
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,441
He would have liked that.
30
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,359
Adam's at the bus station.
31
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,861
Why? Does he like it
when the wheels on the bus
32
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,196
go round and round?
33
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,324
Well, he's picking up
our latest house guest.
34
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,950
You guys have a lot
of those.
35
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,869
Yeah, thanks to Adam's
hippie parents.
36
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,371
They travel the country
and meet these
37
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,956
interesting people and then
tell them to look us up
38
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:22,790
if they're ever in New York.
39
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,667
Well, if they're
from some place really cool
40
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,670
you guys can go on a great
vacation and stay for free.
41
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:28,296
And here they are.
42
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:31,341
Oh, please be from Maui.
Please be from Maui.
43
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,426
Hey, everybody.
This is Toby.
44
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,261
JEFF: Hey, Toby.
Hi.
45
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,346
Hey, Toby.
Where you from?
46
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,515
Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
47
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,850
[CHUCKLES] Great.
48
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,936
Toby's Amish.
Jackpot.
49
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,398
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
50
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:50,527
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪
51
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:55,990
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪
52
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,910
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪
53
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,246
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪
54
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:05,167
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪
55
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,087
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
56
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,715
I swear, every day
57
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,801
it's another miracle
inside me.
58
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,595
Today's natal nuggets:
59
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:21,516
He can now hear me
because he's got little ears.
60
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:25,187
And hopefully little fingers
to stick in them.
61
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,480
So where do you all wanna
go to lunch today?
62
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,815
Oh, how about that
new Japanese place?
63
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,401
It's supposed to be great.
Oh. I can't do sushi.
64
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,402
You know...
Got it.
65
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,363
See, the, uh, mercury
and the potential parasites
66
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,449
could be harmful
to the little one.
67
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:40,993
Oh, a bonus natal nugget.
68
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:42,119
Oh. Guys,
69
00:02:42,119 --> 00:02:45,373
I would love to keep looking
at layouts with you,
70
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,791
but I am spent.
71
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,750
[INHALES]
72
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:48,293
I tell you,
73
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,546
being a vessel
for a life is exhausting.
74
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,964
Hmm, it must be.
75
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:56,593
It is exhausting
just hearing about it.
76
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,386
Sweetie, you should go
put your feet up.
77
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,054
Audrey can finish
your work.
78
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:00,888
Right, Audrey?
79
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:02,724
Yeah. I'd be happy to.
80
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:06,018
Audrey, you should
let her use your office.
81
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,645
You've got the couch.
82
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,730
Oh, Come on.
83
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,732
She is not the only woman
in the world
84
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,858
who's having a baby.
85
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:12,650
What do you mean?
86
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,278
I mean there are other--
You--
87
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:15,820
Never mind.
88
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,739
No, what?
I'm just saying,
89
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,948
some women go
about their day
90
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:21,493
without making such a big deal
that they're pregnant.
91
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:25,204
Oh, my God! Audrey,
are you pregnant?
92
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,374
What? Audrey's pregnant?
93
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,334
Oh, my God, why didn't
you tell us?
94
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,586
No, no, I'm not--
This is so exciting.
95
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,129
Audrey, you have
to take it easy.
96
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,005
Sit down.
No, really, I--
97
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,172
If I'd known
you were pregnant,
98
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:37,800
I never would have given
you Deirdre's work.
99
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,051
Huh? Never what?
100
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:43,723
You just sit down. Here,
Tracy can finish all this.
101
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,768
Oh, no, guys.
102
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,396
Okay.
103
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,649
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
104
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,736
As a gift of appreciation
105
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,738
for opening
your home to me this week,
106
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,240
I'd like to give you this.
107
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,410
Oh. Well, thanks, Toby.
108
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,913
Look, Jen,
we have this now.
109
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,207
It's a hand carved
Pennsylvania Spotted Sparrow.
110
00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:13,253
This is a poor use
of my lunch hour.
111
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,629
Why all the birds, Toby?
112
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,340
I hope to sell them
to pay for my Rumspringa.
113
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:21,218
Rumspringa?
I wish I spoke Amish.
114
00:04:21,218 --> 00:04:23,971
Rumspringa is when
a young Amish person
115
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:26,391
leaves home to experience
modern life.
116
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,142
Even after seeing
how the rest of us live,
117
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:32,355
90 percent return home.
Lord knows why.
118
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,816
But the Lord does know why.
119
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,526
Home is where the heart is.
120
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:41,072
Your heart's never been
in a truly filthy strip club.
121
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,865
Well, Toby, I gotta
get back to work,
122
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,368
but Jennifer's gonna show you
around this afternoon.
123
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,413
That's right, Toby,
because rock smashes scissors.
124
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:48,996
[CHUCKLES]
125
00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:51,291
So where are you guys
gonna go?
126
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,125
I don't know. A museum?
127
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,919
Mm. Snoring.
128
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,713
Maybe Central Park.
129
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,130
Oh, an open field.
130
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,382
I bet he's never seen
131
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,633
that before.
132
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:04,596
Sucks for you, dude.
Worst Rumspringa ever.
133
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,847
If you think
you can do better,
134
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,349
why don't you
show Toby around?
135
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,642
Sorry, Witness,
I roll solo.
136
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,312
Come on. Nobody knows
a young man's New York City
137
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,145
better than you do.
138
00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:16,483
Except maybe
a young man.
139
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,193
I'll do the jokes,
Dimpleton.
140
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,863
Ah, I have you know
that a rolling with me
141
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,449
for a few days would be
the thrill of a lifetime
142
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,032
for this kid.
143
00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:28,828
Well, actually, farm life
is very exciting.
144
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,873
Last year, Uncle Caleb
lost his spectacles
145
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,333
in the wheat field.
146
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,794
Oh, classic Uncle Caleb.
147
00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:39,255
Come on, help me.
148
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,758
[GROANS]
Well,
149
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,343
I've been on a 20 year
Rumspringa me self.
150
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,678
I guess it's time
to give back.
151
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:49,474
All right, Quaker Oats,
you're with me now. Come on.
152
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,642
Here we go.
153
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,185
[♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪]
154
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:58,941
Oh, beer cold. Chili hot.
Chair comfy.
155
00:05:58,941 --> 00:05:59,942
[DOOR OPENS]
156
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,027
And playoffs.
157
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,111
[CHEERING ON TV]
158
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,279
Wanna do it?
159
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,572
Yeah.
160
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,158
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
161
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,286
That was a pleasant surprise.
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]
162
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,329
I thought you'd like that.
163
00:06:12,329 --> 00:06:13,915
Where are you going?
164
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,792
To re-heat my chili.
165
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,378
You're right,
it's probably still hot.
166
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:21,714
[CHUCKLES][SIGHS]
167
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,841
What are you doing,
we cuddled last time.
168
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,678
Who said anything
about cuddling?
169
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,096
Really? Again?
170
00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:30,765
What do you say?
171
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,975
I think I can rally.
172
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,977
Mm-hm.
173
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,898
Twice is gonna be
enough though, right?
174
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,358
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
175
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,656
Russell and Toby
aren't back?
176
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,364
Not yet.
177
00:06:47,364 --> 00:06:49,033
Oh, I feel terrible.
My mom called
178
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,868
to see how Toby's
visit's going,
179
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:51,619
and I had to lie to her.
180
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,037
You told her
we didn't leave him
181
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,498
in the custody
of a perverted little troll?
182
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,251
This isn't a joke. I mean,
Toby's our responsibility.
183
00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:01,170
Okay, why don't you
do us a favor.
184
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,172
And tell your parents
to retire the VW bus
185
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:06,551
and stop sending us
America's rejects.
186
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,053
Oh, here they are.
Hey, how was your day?
187
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:13,099
It was wonderful. Mr. Russell
knows so many things.
188
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,102
Well, in fairness,
I didn't build the elevator
189
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,230
but I do know
how to make her go.
190
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,983
A-And then he took me
to play video games.
191
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:22,859
And then out to lunch.
192
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,736
Guess whose heart
now has seen
193
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:28,364
the inside
of a filthy strip club?
194
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,616
One lady was so silly.
195
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,495
She sat upon my lap
upside down.
196
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,371
I'm sorry
about that, Toby.
197
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,749
Oh, I wasn't complaining.
198
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,250
[RUSSELL LAUGHING]
199
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,043
Well, uh, tonight
Adam and I
200
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,295
thought we'd take you
to the planetarium.
201
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:44,088
Yeah, it's really cool.
202
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,090
It's just like looking
at the stars,
203
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,176
except it's the ceiling.
204
00:07:49,176 --> 00:07:51,137
Yeah.
205
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,014
That sounds fun.
206
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,266
Um, but Mr. Russell
had mentioned
207
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:58,811
something about
female oil wrestling.
208
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,815
Russell, I--
What? He's a sports fan.
209
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,234
All right, great. Well,
then I am gonna meet
210
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,819
my girlfriends downtown
for dinner.
211
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,696
See you.
What about the planetarium?
212
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,699
We were supposed
to get wasted.
213
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,411
Russell. Adam. Amish.
214
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,704
Hello.
215
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,832
So I just completed a command
performance with the missus,
216
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,335
who then demanded an encore.
217
00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:24,295
Really?
218
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,672
I'm not one
to kiss and tell,
219
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,424
but let's just say twice.
220
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,968
I don't understand.
221
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,595
What's going on?
222
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,304
Uh, how do I put this?
223
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:38,225
Ah, two times
he banged upon Miss Audrey.
224
00:08:38,225 --> 00:08:39,936
Oh!
225
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,438
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
226
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,652
I say we use three shots
of the living room,
227
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,779
it's just so spectac--
228
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,030
[YAWNS]
Excuse me.
229
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,532
Oh, that's okay,
you should be tired.
230
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,367
Your body's going through
some big changes.
231
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,536
Hm?
232
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,580
Yeah. Well, yeah.
233
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,456
Sure is.
234
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,749
Audrey, easy.
235
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,918
Oh, it's all right.
He's a tough little guy.
236
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,546
Little guy?
Does that mean it's a boy?
237
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,464
Sure.
238
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:10,299
Do you guys have your name
picked out?
239
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:15,054
Um, you know we're
somewhere between Jared and...
240
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,389
We're really
leaning toward Jared.
241
00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:20,476
Oh, w-we were thinking
of Jared.
242
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,646
Mm. I kind of said it first.
243
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,566
Oh, gosh. Can my ankles
be swollen already?
244
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,735
Oh, I think I need
to go put my feet up.
245
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:32,529
Oh, absolutely.
I got it from here.
246
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,741
We were also thinking
of Steven.
247
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,451
Our middle name.
248
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,165
Hi, Laura.
Is Audrey around?
249
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,834
Sure, I'll tell her
you're here.
250
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:45,627
I'll tell her myself.
251
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,670
I wanna surprise her,
take her to lunch.
252
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,755
That's so sweet of you.
253
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,464
Congratulations,
by the way.
254
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,424
On what?
You don't have to be coy.
255
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:53,801
Audrey told us the big news.
256
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:54,761
Not that she had to.
257
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,640
It was obvious, she was
so exhausted this morning.
258
00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,849
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
259
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,183
She told you?
260
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,810
Wow. I-- I didn't know
261
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,938
she was going wide
with this information.
262
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,732
Well, when something
like this happens,
263
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,191
you just have
to tell somebody.
264
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,735
Mm-hm.
I couldn't agree more.
265
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,568
I like to tell everybody but...
266
00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:14,363
Audrey's usually a little
more private about this.
267
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,991
Oh, well, we dragged
all the details out of her.
268
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:20,286
Um, including the name.
269
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,538
Well, uh, boy,
I-- I didn't know women
270
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,123
were so interested
in this kind of stuff.
271
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,334
Are you kidding? Sometimes
it's all we think about.
272
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:31,088
You know, it's pretty much
all I think about too.
273
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:34,884
There he is, you did it.
You're the man.
274
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,097
Surprise.
275
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,266
Hey, what are you doing here?
276
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,893
Taking you to lunch.
277
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,855
You told everyone
we had sex two times last night?
278
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,065
What?
279
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,733
They're all
congratulating me.
280
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,444
I am a rock star out there.
281
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,071
Yes. Yes.
282
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,238
They are congratulating you
283
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:57,865
because we had sex twice
last night.
284
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:02,036
Mm. Sorry, I just couldn't
keep it to myself.
285
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,413
Because it was that good.
286
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,124
Because it was that good.
287
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,001
Uh, y-you told them
the name?
288
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,129
What?
Little Jeff.
289
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,383
Yeah, I must have
let that slip.
290
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,474
Listen, I just heard
the news,
291
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,433
and I know this is personal,
292
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,227
but my husband and I
have been trying.
293
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,395
How long did it take
you guys?
294
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:30,439
Counting the time
in between?
295
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,899
Uh, l-let's go.
296
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,860
You have him call me.
297
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,320
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
298
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,366
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
299
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:43,702
Turkey burger for you.
300
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:46,580
And here's
your cheeseburger.
301
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:47,248
I made it a double
302
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,667
because I know how you like
everything twice.
303
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,299
You are not wrong.
304
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,052
Did you have
to tell everybody?
305
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,178
You told everybody at work.
306
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,429
Besides, I didn't tell her.
307
00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:04,265
It just came up
in conversation.
308
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,267
That came up
in conversation?
309
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,646
She said she put
in a double shift last night.
310
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:14,608
How do I not say my thing?
311
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,780
Ah,El Doble.
312
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,533
That one's a little harder
to explain.
313
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,117
Ugh, hey, guys.
314
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,120
Audrey, I just got a message
from Laura at your work.
315
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,205
Something about
a shower for you?
316
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:31,292
Y-Yeah, that-- Its--
Funny story.
317
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,545
I once went to work
straight from the gym
318
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,838
without showering. Ha!
319
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,507
It was a bit of an issue.
320
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,052
I remember that day.
321
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,889
Yeah, I think I remember
that day too.
322
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:48,767
Well, it's under control,
now, so...
323
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:51,312
Um, hey, where's that little
farmer friend of yours?
324
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,148
I feel kind of bad. We pawned
him off on Russell again.
325
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:57,568
He wanted to go. You know,
and it's not that big of a deal.
326
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,153
He's only gone out
with him twice.
327
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,487
Twice. Like the number
of times
328
00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:03,532
Audrey and I did it
last night.
329
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:05,284
Jeff!
330
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,703
What? She brought it up.
331
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,664
JENNIFER:
Oh, boy.
332
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,333
Mm.
333
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,920
Russell.
334
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,966
Amish Russell.
335
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,009
Mr. Russell helped me
to pick out
336
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,135
some more modern garb.
337
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,220
[CHUCKLES]
JENNIFER: Modern?
338
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:29,308
It looks more like 1970's
porno wardrobe.
339
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,728
You're right. It is.
340
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,106
He knows what porno is?
341
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:38,067
Grumpy. Somebody only
got it once today.
342
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,443
Hey, listen.
343
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,403
Check this out.
344
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:43,155
Tonight I'm gonna take
my man Toby
345
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,242
and we're gonna hit-eth
a secret party downtown.
346
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,036
I am told it will not
be on the chain.
347
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,579
[RUSSELL CHUCKLES]
348
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,497
How do you not love
this kid?
349
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,166
You should hear him swear,
it's hysterical.
350
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,960
Well, Jen and I
are responsible for him,
351
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,380
so just make sure he's still
Amish when you're done.
352
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,172
Yeah, don't worry about it.
353
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,258
You should be thanking me.
If it wasn't for me,
354
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,801
he'd be spending
his Rumspringa on your couch
355
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,720
whittling his wood.
356
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,473
I'm not even kidding
he would literally
357
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:12,018
be whittling his wood.
358
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,854
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
359
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,108
So you lied to your husband,
360
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,735
your co-workers,
and your boss.
361
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,696
That's one way to put it.
362
00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:25,822
And your plan
is to keep having sex,
363
00:14:25,822 --> 00:14:30,077
hoping to get pregnant so that
no one knows that you lied.
364
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,664
Crazier things
have happened.
365
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,167
I'm not sure they have.
366
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,335
It was my only shot.
All right?
367
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:38,920
Because I am screwed
368
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,671
if I don't have
something in here
369
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,798
by the 15th of next month.
370
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:43,966
Why then?
371
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,136
I promised sonogram
pictures of Jared.
372
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,346
You named him Jared?
373
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,765
I wasn't gonna
let Deirdre have it.
374
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,935
You're not actually
having a baby.
375
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,395
Look, if you're not part
of the solution,
376
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,854
you're part of the problem.
377
00:14:57,854 --> 00:14:59,315
[DOOR OPENS]
378
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,527
Took some work, but I managed
to get through the whole day
379
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:04,736
without finding out who won
380
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,488
that playoff game last night.
381
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,991
Wanna have sex?
Yes, I do.
382
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,868
Don't mention the game.
383
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:14,997
Oh, there goes our foreplay.
384
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,041
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
385
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,460
Hold that thought.
386
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,714
Oh, thanks.
387
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,215
Oh, wow.
388
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,467
Ha-ha. Don't mind that.
That's for me.
389
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:29,011
I'll just get
rid of that.
390
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,180
What were all
those balloons?
391
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,682
[BALLOONS POPPING]
392
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:36,893
What balloons?
393
00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:39,271
I didn't see any balloons.
It's from your work.
394
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,482
What's, uh, with the bird
on this card?
395
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,441
Is this a stork?
396
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,817
[SCOFFS]
That's a bird.
397
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:44,610
That's just a regular,
398
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,489
"Congratulations
on all your sex" bird.
399
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,532
Audrey, are you pregnant?
400
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,244
No, I'm not. But, uh,
401
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,037
everyone at work
kind of thinks I am.
402
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,747
Well, I told you
to stop hitting
403
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,333
those muffins so hard.
404
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,419
No. It was
a misunderstanding,
405
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,130
and I didn't
correct it and...
406
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:07,591
And now I get to take naps
in the afternoon.
407
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,218
Oh, so you're not pregnant.
408
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,637
You're insane.
409
00:16:11,803 --> 00:16:13,680
Look, I know it was
a stupid thing to do.
410
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,349
I'm sorry I dragged
you into it.
411
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,058
I can't believe this.
412
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,977
That's why everyone
at your office
413
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,602
was so happy for me.
414
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,437
Jeff, I wasn't trying
to trick you--
415
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:24,358
So nobody there knows
we did it twice.
416
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,028
That's why you're upset?
417
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,945
Yeah.
418
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,951
You really think I would tell
everyone at my work
419
00:16:34,951 --> 00:16:35,786
that we had sex twice?
420
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,579
The people at the diner
were pretty fired up.
421
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:42,168
Yeah, we may have to find
some place new to eat.
422
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,960
So I guess twice
had nothing to do
423
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,422
with me being that good.
424
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,964
No, you were good.
425
00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:50,801
Yeah, once good.
426
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,179
Honey, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
427
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:53,970
I was just embarrassed.
428
00:16:53,970 --> 00:16:57,599
Tomorrow I will tell everybody
at work the truth.
429
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,144
That we did it twice?
430
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,272
No, that I lied
about being pregnant.
431
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,400
But th-that doesn't mean
that we can't still do it.
432
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,776
[SIGHS]Come on.
433
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:08,444
How about right now.
434
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,072
You're only offering
because you feel guilty.
435
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,199
Jeff.
No, no, I'll take it.
436
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,284
I'm--
437
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,119
I just wanna go on record
as saying
438
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,455
it's because
you feel guilty.
439
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,709
You know what?
You are that good.
440
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,918
Ah, thanks.
441
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:28,380
But only once.
I almost died last night.
442
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,841
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
443
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:35,971
[GRUNTS]
444
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,099
Oh, hey, hey, where's Toby?
445
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,350
He didn't come home
last night.
446
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,810
Oh, yeah. He's sleeping
it off at my house.
447
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,730
Oh, that party was bananas.
448
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,442
I put the spring
in his Rumspringa.
449
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,444
[CHUCKLES]
Ooh, and the rum.
450
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,445
You let him drink?
451
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,780
Well, those shots weren't
gonna suck themselves
452
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,533
out of the cheerleaders'
belly buttons.
453
00:17:56,533 --> 00:18:00,204
Oh, nice. Yeah.
454
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,914
What, you have
an outie.
455
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:04,375
You know, maybe this
is my calling.
456
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,877
Maybe every Amish kid
should hang out with me
457
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,337
for a while and see
what he's missing.
458
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,881
What if he doesn't wanna
go back to his family
459
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:11,798
and Amish lifestyle?
460
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:14,551
You know, his parents
are gonna call us and scream.
461
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,928
Duh, they don't have phones.
462
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:20,516
I mean, the worst we'll get is
a quilt with a few angry panels.
463
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,977
[LAUGHS]
Hey, there he is.
Two days with me,
464
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,729
and he went from
a-plowing a field
465
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,315
to a-plowing a field.
466
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,527
I hear you had
a crazy night last night.
467
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,696
Yeah, uh, I can't do
belly shots with her,
468
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,865
just spills everywhere.
469
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,867
I like the old school
outfit, dude.
470
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,244
There better
be a zipper on there,
471
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,287
because we're going
to Chinatown,
472
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,498
there's a massage place toward--
There's no need, Mr. Russell.
473
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:47,543
Your plan worked.
I'm going home.
474
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,753
Ah, yeah, my plan.
What plan was that?
475
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:53,507
Your plan to teach me
what's really important in life
476
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,466
by showing me an existence
477
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,469
so empty
and devoid of meaning.
478
00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:01,265
Yeah. You figured
that one out, did you?
479
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,058
How could I not?
480
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:06,102
I mean, obviously no one
lives a life that shallow.
481
00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:07,103
[CHUCKLES]
482
00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:08,730
Obviously.
483
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,065
Thank you again
for showing me
484
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:13,026
the depths of depravity--
Yeah, yeah. No, no, we got it.
485
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,278
All right, so you gotta
get running.
486
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,988
So you gotta scram.
He's gotta hayride, I think so--
487
00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:19,991
Come on, Toby. We'll take you
to the bus station.
488
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:21,034
Okay.
489
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,494
Bye, Mr. Russell.
Yeah.
490
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,831
Now that I'm leaving you can
resume living your real life.
491
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,750
Yeah, oh, yeah.
492
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:33,464
Oh, yeah. Can't wait
to get back to that.
493
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,174
[SIGHS]
494
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,634
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
495
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,553
Hey, mama,
how you feeling?
496
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:40,971
Oh, good,
you got the basket.
497
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:45,309
Uh, yeah, listen, guys.
I have to tell you something.
498
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:48,562
See, the-- The truth is,
I should return that to you
499
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,441
because, uh, I'm not pregnant.
500
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,609
See what happened was--
501
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,068
Oh, you don't have
to say it.
502
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,738
And you know
it's totally normal.
503
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,240
You just need
to keep trying.
504
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,116
Oh, no. No, no, no, see--
505
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:04,035
No, look. Just take a couple
of days off.
506
00:20:04,035 --> 00:20:04,786
Okay?
507
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:08,582
Oh, I don't...
508
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,001
Maybe that would be best.
509
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,299
Oh.
510
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,679
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
511
00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:28,435
Oh, my God, your outfit
is so cute.
512
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,897
Mm, I've never met
an Amish guy before.
513
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:35,651
Yes, I am innocent
to your big city ways,
514
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:39,696
and I have only
my Rumspringa to experience
515
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:43,199
the carnal joys of modern life.
516
00:20:43,199 --> 00:20:44,618
Wait, Rumspringa?
517
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,537
Isn't that for,
like, teenagers?
518
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,289
Yes, it is.
519
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,082
Wow, you look
much older than that.
520
00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:53,919
Yes, it's a hard life
on the farm.
521
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,923
Hey, can I get a vodka tonic,
no ice? Thank you.
522
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,717
Tell me, thy belly button,
523
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:04,263
wouldst they be
an innie or outie?
524
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,722
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
525
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,771
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
37043
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