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1
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,461
That whole bag
of pretzel nuggets
2
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,713
with the peanut butter
inside is gone.
3
00:00:05,713 --> 00:00:07,799
Yeah.
4
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,676
I just bought it yesterday.
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,303
Did you want some?
6
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,970
I guess not.
7
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,431
Worked out perfect.
8
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,600
I can't believe we're finally
seeing this movie.
9
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,351
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
10
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:24,191
We're probably the last couple
in Manhattan who hasn't seen--
11
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:28,028
Jeff.
What? Is it over?
12
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,198
No, it's not over.
It hasn't even started.
13
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:31,989
You were asleep.
14
00:00:31,989 --> 00:00:32,949
I wasn't sleeping.
15
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,535
I was just concentrating
really hard.
16
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:39,372
Why'd you even rent the movie if
you were too tired to watch it?
17
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,165
Isn't it obvious?
18
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,210
So that I could be part
of this conversation.
19
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,920
Honey, I mean, come on,
it's barely 9.
20
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,090
Hey, I was up at 6:30
this morning.
21
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:48,965
You slept till
well past 7.
22
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:54,262
I was pretending, 'cause
I know why you woke up at 6:30.
23
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,514
Well played.
24
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:59,476
And by the way, you used up
all the hot water.
25
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,936
Well, I wouldn't have had
to take such a long shower
26
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:06,816
if you hadn't pretended
to be asleep.
27
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,236
Well played.
28
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,697
It's fine. If you're tired,
just go to bed.
29
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,324
The only thing I'm tired of
is you bugging me
30
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:19,121
while I'm trying to watch
this movie. Now let's do this.
31
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,830
Fine.
32
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,333
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
33
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,296
[SNORTS]
34
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:32,134
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
35
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:36,679
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you"? ♪♪
36
00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:42,435
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪
37
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,230
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪
38
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,565
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪
39
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,985
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪
40
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,491
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
41
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,493
You're really only
thinking of yourself.
42
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,496
I am not,
I'm thinking of us.
43
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,539
I'm thinking of
shooting myself
44
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,875
because the suspense
sure isn't killing me.
45
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:06,668
What's going on?
46
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,753
It's private.
She went off the pill
47
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,256
and now I have to
use condoms.
48
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:15,635
When do we get to "private" on
your word-of-the-day calendar?
49
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,179
Now, you said
you wear condoms, plural.
50
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,765
You know it's just one at a
time, right? You do know that?
51
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:23,851
Yes, yes, I know.
Thing is, it's just...
52
00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:25,019
less fun.
53
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,854
Oh, boo-hoo.
54
00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:28,940
I make sure
I'm always prepared.
55
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,943
Oh, that's considerate
to have slightly less of you
56
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,570
actually touching her.
57
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,198
Yes, and I get
the ribbed kind,
58
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,200
for her pleasure.
59
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:42,370
Although I do wear
them inside out.
60
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:45,665
Look, I've taken care
of birth control since we met.
61
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,083
Since the night we met.
62
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,336
[ADAMGRUNTS]
Yeah.
63
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,003
Way to make him work for it.
64
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:54,507
Well, hey, in her defense,
she was totally wasted.
65
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,300
I was not!
66
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,928
Um, being sober doesn't make you
look any better in this story.
67
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,431
Hey, I have an idea
for birth control.
68
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,099
I stop having
sex with you.
69
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:03,600
Oh.
70
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,935
But would you still--?
No.
71
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:09,146
Yeah, but could I possibly--?
Nope.
72
00:03:09,146 --> 00:03:12,400
Well, then that's
a terrible idea.
73
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,109
Why is it always assumed
74
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,820
that protection is
the woman's responsibility?
75
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,029
It's from the Bible.
76
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:20,116
Mm-hm, Corinthians.
77
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,535
Well, from now on
if you want to know me,
78
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:26,163
thou shalt sheath
thy sword.
79
00:03:26,163 --> 00:03:27,164
"Sword."
80
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:28,958
Yeah.
81
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:30,001
Oh, hey-o.
AUDREY: Hey.
82
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,586
ADAM: Hey
Hey, guys.
83
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,672
Check out this photo I took
last night of Old Man Jeff.
84
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,925
Audrey, it's not
that funny.
85
00:03:37,925 --> 00:03:38,468
[CHUCKLES]
86
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,553
Oh, look at you
with your bifocals
87
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,179
down at the end
of your nose.
88
00:03:42,179 --> 00:03:44,599
Snuggled under your afghan.
89
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,934
She put that stuff
on me last night.
90
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,978
He kept falling asleep
during a movie.
91
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,438
I did not.
Uh, right.
92
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,566
He kept falling asleep
before a movie.
93
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,902
You look like
my grandfather. Hm-hm.
94
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,529
He's dead.
95
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,239
Uh, look, I don't care
what my age is.
96
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,116
I haven't lost
a step at home, work,
97
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:05,787
or the battlefield.
The battlefield?
98
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,581
Sadly, he's referring
to his softball league.
99
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,207
JEFF:
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
100
00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:12,752
Why don't you come
to my next game,
101
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:13,670
you can see for yourself.
102
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,547
Yeah, no thanks.
Last game I went to,
103
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:19,133
the team put me in charge
of beer distribution.
104
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,469
I was
the "beverage bimbo."
105
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,930
Hey, bevy bim's
an important position.
106
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,222
I like that name.
Hey, Doreen.
107
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:28,601
How about I start calling
you the bevy bim?
108
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,938
Try it, see how it goes.
109
00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:36,693
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
110
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,571
Die!
Die, you idiot!
111
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,364
We haven't started
the game yet.
112
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:46,077
I know. You're taking so long.
So, "Die! Die, you idiot!"
113
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,204
Oh.
114
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:51,248
Oh, hey.
Hey.
115
00:04:51,248 --> 00:04:53,125
What is that smell?
116
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,669
What smell?
117
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,671
Oh, dude.
I didn't.
118
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,048
Seriously,
you don't smell that?
119
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,633
I don't.
JEN: Huh.
120
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:04,095
You never smell anything.
What's wrong with you?
121
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,848
What's wrong with her?
122
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,932
Since she went off the pill
123
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,351
her hormones
are all out of whack.
124
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,185
She's snapping
at everything.
125
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,270
You left dirty dishes,
didn't you?
126
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:14,772
No.
127
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,733
Then what's this?
128
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,110
It's a dirty dish.
129
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,987
You're doing good.
130
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,781
You don't want to clean up?
You don't want to wash dishes?
131
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,783
You want to sit around
and play video games
132
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:28,328
with your
moron little friend?
133
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:33,040
There, now you never
have to wash it again.
134
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,254
Okay, make a break for it.
135
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:42,467
You'll only lose the engagement
ring and a little pride.
136
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,718
I don't know what to do,
man.
137
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,887
Every little thing
sets her off now.
138
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,555
Yeah, dude, that's scary.
139
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,348
I remember
when I was a little kid
140
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,058
and my dad
wouldn't come home,
141
00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:54,020
so my mom would get mad
and she'd start drinking vodka,
142
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,147
and then she'd wear
this see-through nightie
143
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,399
so everyone could
see through it--
144
00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:01,736
JEN: Get in here right now!
Cover yourself up, Mommy!
145
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:06,157
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
146
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,785
[PLAYERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
147
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,454
JEFF:
All right! All right!
148
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,831
Way to go! Way to go!
149
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,209
JEFF:
Yeah, way to go!
Way to go!
150
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:18,753
Hey.
151
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,337
Audrey, this is Evan.
152
00:06:20,337 --> 00:06:22,590
He's the new guy on the team.
Audrey Bingham?
153
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:27,219
Wow. The guys say you were,
like, the best bevy bim ever.
154
00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:29,847
Oh. Well, thank you.
JEFF: Oh, yeah.
155
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:33,225
She could haul beer
like a Clydesdale.
156
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,936
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
157
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,479
A Clydesdale?
158
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,898
What?
It's a very regal animal.
159
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,192
Ah, why did I even come here?
160
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,360
That's probably
what Evan's thinking.
161
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,153
Poor kid sits on the bench
162
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,947
'cause he plays
the same position as me.
163
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:51,118
Excuse me, have to go conduct
a little batting clinic.
164
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,627
[SNEEZES]
165
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,629
Oh! Ah! My back!
166
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,297
JEFF: Oh!
167
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,593
Man, you look like
you're in a lot of pain.
168
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,469
[PANTS]
169
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,471
Should I call the bevy bim?
170
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,433
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
171
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,061
Okay, babe. You want me
to get the heating pad again?
172
00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:17,687
No.
173
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,566
That thing burnt
all the hair off my back.
174
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,066
Really?
175
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:25,236
Maybe we should let it
take a run at your ears.
176
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,030
Oh, sure, kick me
while I'm down.
177
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:28,698
I'm just saying.
178
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,158
The other day I was looking
and I was thinking,
179
00:07:31,158 --> 00:07:32,827
"How can he even hear?"
180
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:36,581
Why are you so bummed?
You've injured yourself before.
181
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,416
Yeah, diving for a ball,
sliding hard.
182
00:07:39,416 --> 00:07:40,793
Not sneezing.
183
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:41,919
[CHUCKLES]
184
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:44,380
Mm, sorry,
it was a little funny.
185
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,759
Well, not to me. I'm not ready
to be a creaky old man yet.
186
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:51,012
What's next? I slip in
the tub, I break my hip?
187
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,889
Jeff, you're not old.
188
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:56,267
Do you want me to put down some
of those rubber traction daisies
189
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,770
in the tub?
No!
190
00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,479
Okay.
191
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,023
I really think
you're overreacting.
192
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:02,649
Sneezing, Audrey.
193
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,277
One sneeze, two guys
had to help me off the field.
194
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,904
All right, at the risk
of being burned
195
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,239
at the stake as a heretic,
isn't it just softball?
196
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,284
No, it's not just softball.
It's a field of honor,
197
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:16,412
where warriors face off
against each other.
198
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,331
Well, i-it really
looks like softball.
199
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:22,585
Look, Audrey, playing ball makes
me feel like I'm in my prime.
200
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,712
And all these younger guys
look up to me
201
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:25,963
like I'm their hero.
202
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,340
Oh, sweetie,
203
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,302
you're my hero.
204
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,345
Thanks.
205
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,683
I wish that helped
in any way at all.
206
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,519
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
207
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:43,314
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
208
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,607
So anyway,
that's how I learned
209
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,069
you never mail a letter
without a stamp.
210
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,864
At the beginning, I thought
that story might be interesting.
211
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,991
But I was a lot younger then.
212
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,327
Do you guys hear that?
213
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,286
Hear what?
214
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,914
There's a sound
that's driving me crazy.
215
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:03,918
Was it the sound of my beard
growing during Adam's story?
216
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,714
No, it's a disgusting,
217
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,340
slurping,
smacking noise.
218
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,720
It's making me
wanna punch somebody.
219
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,056
Wait,
are you chewing gum?
220
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,726
[COUGHS]
221
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,147
I-I'm sorry. I'm just
too annoyed to be here.
222
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,273
I'm just gonna go home.
223
00:09:26,273 --> 00:09:27,859
Yeah, honey,
go home, just relax.
224
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,695
Stop telling me
what to do.
225
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,947
Who would've thought
that your stamp story
226
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,158
would've been the most pleasant
part of our meal?
227
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,869
I know this is weird,
228
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,871
but when she gets
all nuts like this,
229
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,664
I find it kind of hot.
That is weird.
230
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,083
Maybe because you were
raised by filthy hippies.
231
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,210
Hey.
Maybe it's because
232
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,379
everything was so
"mellow" growing up
233
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,923
that "crazy" is so unknown
to you,
234
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,467
gets you excited.
Could be. Could be.
235
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,802
All I know is
that I am hot for her,
236
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,472
but she gets so mad, there's
no way I can turn that into sex.
237
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,600
Or can you?
238
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,517
So how do I do it?
239
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,603
How do I parlay
her anger towards me
240
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,604
into sex with me?
241
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,773
What have you tried so far?
242
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,733
Well, apologizing.
Nah.
243
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,985
Some cowering.
Uh.
244
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:11,653
Oh, uh, a lot of hiding.
245
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,614
Oh, oh, and I've been
running away a lot.
246
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,742
All right, I think I'm getting
a snapshot of the situation.
247
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,161
How about this.
How about you try...
248
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,497
not being a little bitch.
249
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:24,957
That's interesting.Yeah.
250
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,918
Stand your ground,
you go right at her.
251
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:27,835
A complete 180.
Yes.
252
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,630
Because, when you back off,
she cools down.
253
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,132
But if you want
to bust out of Crazytown
254
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,551
into Hornyville,
you gotta keep her hot.
255
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,762
So you're saying
if I get her mad enough,
256
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,471
she'll have
wild sex with me.
257
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:42,308
That or she'll kill you.
258
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:49,356
Oh, not mine. No.
259
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,776
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
260
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,278
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
261
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,531
Hey.
Hey.
262
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,033
How are you?
I'm good.
263
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,535
Good, good.
Well...
264
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:05,289
First off, I never got a chance
to say this before, but...
265
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,999
Gesundheit.
266
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:07,750
[BRAD LAUGHS]
267
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,418
Can I get you
something to drink?
268
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,336
Yeah, I'd love a water.
269
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,421
Sure, sure. See if
you can get him to throw
270
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:15,132
that heating pad on his ears.
271
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:19,595
I heard that.
How?
272
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,557
So, uh, this big playoff
game coming up, huh?
273
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,684
Yeah, we grabbed the last
spot when we won Sunday.
274
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:29,814
After you went down, Evan filled
in and really tore it up.
275
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,400
Oh, it's nice. I'm glad the kid
finally got a chance to play.
276
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,320
Here you go.
Oh, that was fast.
277
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,280
Like a Clydesdale.
278
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,406
[JEFF CHUCKLES]
279
00:11:39,406 --> 00:11:40,908
Oh, Audrey, you'll enjoy this.
280
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,160
Some things the team
thought Jeff could use.
281
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,536
Oh, how nice.
BRAD: Yeah, yeah.
282
00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:48,249
You know, denture cream,
a large print book,
283
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,335
prune juice,
Matlock season two DVD.
284
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:55,631
Joke's on you, that was actually
on his Christmas list.
285
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,759
Adult diapers.
286
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,718
Very funny.
Oh!
287
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:02,513
And your new team jersey...
288
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:03,264
Gramps.
289
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,017
[AUDREY CHUCKLES]
That's a good one.
290
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,310
Yeah. the guys thought
you'd get a kick out of this.
291
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,397
Yeah, they're a good
bunch of douches.
292
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:11,981
You know what?
293
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,566
Tell 'em I'll be back
for the playoffs.
294
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:16,402
What? No, Jeff.
295
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,445
If you play, you could
hurt yourself even worse.
296
00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:22,699
Yeah, you might get the hiccups
and snap your spine.
297
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,161
It's a big game.
What about the team?
298
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,080
Look, no worries. We'll
have Evan fill in for you.
299
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:28,956
Evan.
Honey,
300
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,708
you don't have to play
just to prove something.
301
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,585
Give yourself time to heal.
302
00:12:33,585 --> 00:12:34,503
I mean, not too much time,
303
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:38,507
'cause, you might not
have that much time left.
304
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,717
[CHUCKLES]
305
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,219
Get out.
306
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,470
I'll see you, buddy.
307
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:44,513
Bye, Audrey.
Bye.
308
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:47,433
Oh, come on, they were just
trying to cheer you up.
309
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,687
I'm not cheered up. I don't
need any of this old guy stuff.
310
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:55,482
Wow.
This is easier to read.
311
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,570
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
312
00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:05,868
How do you like my tub, buddy?
You feeling any better?
313
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,744
Uh, same.
314
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:09,496
Ah.
Lucky I let you in there.
315
00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:14,001
I have a general rule,
"No dudes in the jacuzz."
316
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,503
I feel special.
317
00:13:16,503 --> 00:13:17,171
And I'm no doctor,
318
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,631
but I could have you
springing up and out of there
319
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:20,632
in two seconds.
Yeah? How?
320
00:13:20,632 --> 00:13:23,094
By telling you what happened
in there last night.
321
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,930
You are truly disgusting.
[CHUCKLES]
322
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,890
Yeah, I heard that last night.
323
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,767
Well, I'm starting
to loosen up a little.
324
00:13:30,767 --> 00:13:32,228
I heard that too.
325
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,271
Did I tell you
this story?
326
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,898
So you get to play
in your little game, huh?
327
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,901
Actually, no. I'm gonna
sit it out. I don't know.
328
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,945
I may be done
with it for good.
329
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:41,904
Why?
Well,
330
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,031
look at me. Audrey's right.
331
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,782
She said I needed
to slow down a little.
332
00:13:45,782 --> 00:13:48,744
The team's got
this new young kid, Evan,
333
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,412
to take my place.
334
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,623
And you're gonna let him?
335
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:54,375
What am I supposed to do?
336
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,084
Fight.
337
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,293
That's what I'd do.
338
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,253
You don't even
play sports.
339
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,131
Sure I do. My sport just happens
to be chasing young women.
340
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,466
And believe me, I've faced
my share of Evans.
341
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,677
It's not a valid comparison,
I'm injured.
342
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:08,764
Oh, please, while having sex
with women half my age,
343
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:12,101
I've pulled muscles,
cramped up, chipped a tooth,
344
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,603
even gotten a stress
fracture or two. Yeah.
345
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,232
Really?
I hang with some strange women.
346
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:18,941
But I play through the pain,
347
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,028
because I'm not gonna let
some young punk come outdo me.
348
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,864
Evan's a good kid,
he's not a punk.
349
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,491
They're all punks!
350
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:31,120
Yeah, that's why you gotta
play like a young man
351
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,038
till they cart you away.
352
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,165
Maybe I should join
a senior league,
353
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,041
act my age a little.
354
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,209
Has acting your age
ever been fun?
355
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,461
No.
Has it ever led to great stories
356
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,796
you can share
with your buddies?
357
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:43,465
No.
Has it ever gotten you into bed
358
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,760
with a wannabe dancer
who's one failed audition away
359
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,720
from doing soft-core?
No.
360
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,431
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna fight.
361
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,308
You're gonna fight.
Gonna fight till the end.
362
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,935
That's right.
And I'll start by proving
363
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,979
that I still rule the Central
Park Sheep Meadow Athletic Field
364
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,898
Number Three weekend B-league.Yeah.
365
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,193
Oh, I thought you were
wearing a bathing suit!
366
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:06,238
Come on!
Yuck, old man junk!
367
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,699
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
368
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,204
Hey. What's up?
369
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,331
I was just at the, uh--
370
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,499
It's not your business.
371
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,962
Hey, want some
of my burrito? Mm?
372
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,588
Hot sauce and beans.
373
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,839
Smell it.
Oh.
374
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,632
Smell it.
Get that out of my face.
375
00:15:25,632 --> 00:15:26,800
What are you doing?
376
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,302
Okay, fine.
377
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,930
I guess
I'll just throw it out.
378
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,851
Oh, no, what a mess.
379
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,519
Clean that up.
380
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,521
Eh, I'll get it later.
381
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,232
What do you mean "later"?
382
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,484
Later, dude.
383
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,402
What the hell's
the matter with you?
384
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,946
Are you trying
to piss me off?
385
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,155
Why would I do that?
386
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:50,199
I'm in no mood
for this, Adam.
387
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,700
What are you in the mood for?
388
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,703
I'm in the mood to strangle you!
Oh, yeah, there she is.
389
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:55,412
There's my crazy lady.
390
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,748
Crazy? You think
I've been acting crazy?
391
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,000
You bet I do.
392
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,335
Super crazy.
393
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,050
[SOBS]
394
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,555
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
395
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,975
Shh! What are you--
What are you doing?
396
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,894
I have been acting crazy,
haven't I?
397
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:21,147
I'm so sorry.
398
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,065
No, no, honey.
Look at me.
399
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:27,236
Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry,
be crazy. Be crazy.
400
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,905
Now, look-- Look at--
Look at the mess in the kitchen.
401
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,573
Look,
there's roaches on it.
402
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:32,866
Oh.
No.
403
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:35,411
My emotions are
totally out of control.
404
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,746
I'm just gonna go back
on the stupid pill.
405
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,750
No, not yet. I didn't
break through to Hornyville.
406
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:43,335
What?
407
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,629
Uh, well, Russell said--
You talked to Russell
408
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,256
about this again?
Wait, if I did,
409
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,133
would that make you mad?
Yes!
410
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,303
Well, then yeah. Yeah, I did.
I told him everything.
411
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,471
Oh, my God,
you are such a jerk!
412
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,599
Yes! I'm totally back in.
413
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,100
Honey...
414
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,729
Honey, hey, did you put on
a couple pounds?
415
00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:05,232
[YELLS]
416
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,363
Awesome.
417
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,740
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
418
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,908
BRAD:
Yes!
419
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:18,537
All right, we just need two
runs. Greg's up, Evan's on deck.
420
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,746
AUDREY:
I don't like this.
421
00:17:19,746 --> 00:17:20,997
I don't like
that Jeff might play,
422
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,874
I don't like
that somehow you're involved.
423
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:26,295
It's a guy thing,
Audrey, step aside.
424
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,046
A guy thing?
425
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,632
That is so lame. Women
are completely capable--
426
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,801
MAN:
Bevy bim!
427
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,386
Damn it.
428
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:39,015
I hate that the regular girl
has mid-terms.
429
00:17:39,015 --> 00:17:41,852
Ooh! Greg!
430
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:45,356
All right Evan,
you're up.
431
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,607
No, I'm going in.
432
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,443
Are you sure?
It's pretty dusty out there.
433
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,445
Shut up.
Sit down, kid.
434
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,822
I got this.
RUSSELL: All right!
435
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:54,698
Jeff, come on!
436
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,451
Oh, God, be careful.
Be careful!
437
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,454
RUSSELL:
That's my boy.
438
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,456
All right! Come on, Jeff!
439
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,209
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
440
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:31,277
[MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY]
441
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,578
[MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY]
442
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,422
[MOUTHING]
Stop.
443
00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:07,229
BOTH [MOUTHING]:
Go! Go! Go!
444
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,002
[CHEERING]
445
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:36,550
ALL [CHANTING]:
Gramps! Gramps!
Gramps! Gramps!
446
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,054
[CHEERING]
447
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,931
Woo-hoo!
448
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,058
You did it!
449
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,187
Yeah! My man--
450
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,149
Ah!
451
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,112
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
452
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:21,512
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
453
00:20:25,181 --> 00:20:28,810
So trip to Hornyville
didn't go so well, huh?
454
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,729
No, she kind of kicked
the crap out of me.
455
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,607
Yeah, there was no way
that was gonna work.
456
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,859
Why'd you send me in there?
457
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:36,860
Well, you've got
your stamp story.
458
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:41,823
Now I've got my "my friend got
beat up by his fiancée" story.
459
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:47,037
Okay, out.
The big dog's getting wet.
460
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,164
Uh, that's my robe, dude.
461
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,667
Yeah, you got
something full length?
462
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,586
That is full length.
463
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,130
All right.
I'm done.
464
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:57,673
[GRUNTS]
465
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:01,677
Are you kidding? Does anyone
wear a swim suit in there?
466
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,180
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
467
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,227
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
33157
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