Original subtitles

P { margin-left:8pt; margin-right:8pt; margin-bottom:2pt; margin-top:2pt; text-align:center; font-size:20pt; font-family:arial, sans-serif; font-weight:normal; color:white; } .ENCC { Name:English; lang:en-US; SAMIType:CC;} #STDPrn { Name:Standard Print;} #LargePrn { Name:Large Print; font-size:25pt;} #SmallPrn { Name:Small Print; font-size:15pt;} ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, &nbsp ONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, SIX. &nbsp SHAKE IT, DUDE. &nbsp

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&nbsp Michael:SO THERE I WAS, &nbsp STARK NAKED, FREEZING MY TAIL OFF, &nbsp SPYING ON BEN. &nbsp WAS HE PLUCKINGHIS MAGICTWANGER? &nbsp NO. HE HAD A NEEDLE, &nbsp AND HE WASGIVING HIMSELF ASHOT IN THE ASS. &nbsp THE NUTTYPROFESSOR,A JUICE PIG? &nbsp I AM SO TURNEDON. HERE, FEEL. &nbsp [ Laughing ] CUT IT OUT. &nbsp I'VE SEEN HIM DO IT TWICE. &nbsp I THINK HE'S DOING STEROIDS. &nbsp FOR THE LIFE OFME, I'LL NEVERUNDERSTAND WHYSO MANY GAY MEN &nbsp WANT TO FUCKTHEIR BODIES UPWITH DRUGS. &nbsp HE'S ALWAYS AT THE GYM, &nbsp HE HAS THESE NASTY MOODS... &nbsp "'ROID RAGE." &nbsp WELL, CONSIDERIT A SMALLPRICE TO PAY &nbsp FOR ANAMAZING BODY. &nbsp YOU'RE A BIG FUCKING HELP. &nbsp Emmett: HI, GUYS! &nbsp Michael:SO HOW ARE THETWO LOVE BIRDS? &nbsp UH, FREEZINGOUR TITS OFF. YEAH, WELL, &nbsp AT LEAST I WON'THAVE TO PINCHMY NIPS TO GETTHEM ALL TAUT. &nbsp ALLOW ME. &nbsp OW! &nbsp CAN YOU BELIEVETHE LINE TOGET INTO THISFUCKING DUMP? &nbsp YEAH, IT'S ONACCOUNT OF THOSEGUYS WHO O.D.'d. &nbsp GREAT. SO BECAUSE SOME IGNORANT AMATEURS DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING, &nbsp THE REST OF US SHOULD GET PUNISHED. &nbsp YEAH, YOU CAN THANK YOUR FRIEND, THE CHIEF. &nbsp LET'S GO INSIDEBEFORE MY DICKGETS FROSTBITE. &nbsp YOU HAVE A GUEST PASS? &nbsp [ Whimper ]UH, ONLYONE GUEST. &nbsp Ted & Emmett:ASSHOLE. &nbsp Man: FREEZING MY NIPPLES OFF... &nbsp ALL RIGHT, HONEY, YOU CAN GO. &nbsp SEE SOME I.D.? &nbsp HMM.Officer:ANY DRUGS? &nbsp WORK THEPOCKETS,HONEY. WORKTHE POCKETS. &nbsp Various: WHOO-OO-OO! &nbsp Ethan: YOU WANT ME TO WASH YOUR BACK? &nbsp Justin:HMM... ANY EXCUSETO KEEP YOURHANDS ON ME. &nbsp [ Chuckle ] &nbsp YOU KNOW, CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO HORNINESS. &nbsp MMM. YOU KNOW,WHEN YOU'REFINISHED, &nbsp I KNOW A REALLYCOOL GAME WECAN PLAY. &nbsp IT'S CALLED"HIDE THESOAP BAR." &nbsp OH-H.[ Snort ] &nbsp [ Ringing of telephone ] &nbsp HELLO? &nbsp YEAH? &nbsp OH HEY, HOW YOU DOING? &nbsp NO FUCKING WAY. THAT'S FANTASTIC! &nbsp WHAT? &nbsp PREPARED? ARE YOU KIDDING? &nbsp I'VE BEENPREPARING MYWHOLE LIFE! &nbsp YEAH. OKAY. &nbsp THANKS, MAN. &nbsp THAT WAS GLEN. &nbsp YOSEF TREBLEK HAD A TRIPLE BYPASS. &nbsp WHO'SYOSEF TREBLEK? &nbsp THIS, UH, THIS HUNGARIAN VIOLINIST. &nbsp OH GOD, THAT'STERRIBLE. &nbsp NO, NO, NO, IT'STHE GREATESTNEWS EVER. &nbsp HE WAS SUPPOSEDTO PLAY THEHARRISBURG SYMPHONY, &nbsp BUT OBVIOUSLY HE CAN'T NOW. &nbsp SO GLEN SUGGESTED ME, &nbsp THE SILVERMEDALIST FORTHE HEIFETZCOMPETITION, &nbsp AS THELAST MINUTEREPLACEMENT, &nbsp AND THEY SAID YES! THEY SAID YES! &nbsp MY GOD, IT'S YOURFIRST CONCERT. &nbsp IT'S NOT PHILADELPHIA OR BOSTON, BUT... &nbsp IT DOESN'TMATTER. IT'SA START. &nbsp OH, GOD. &nbsp [ Groan ] I WISH YOU COULD BE THERE WITH ME. &nbsp [ Sniff ] &nbsp I WISH ICOULD TOO. &nbsp BUT YOUR AGENTWOULD FLIP OUTIF I WAS THERE. &nbsp YEAH. I KNOW. &nbsp HEY, I WAS, UH... &nbsp I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU THIS WHEN THE PHONE RANG. &nbsp I BOUGHTTWO OF THEM. &nbsp THEY WEREN'T VERY EXPENSIVE, BUT... &nbsp THE GUY AT THE STORE SWORE TO ME THAT THEY WERE ONE OF A KIND. &nbsp AND... &nbsp I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A WAY FOR US TO BE TOGETHER, &nbsp EVEN WHENWE'RE APART. &nbsp

&nbsp TV Announcer: CITIZEN, WAR HERO, &nbsp COP, CHIEF OF POLICE. &nbsp JIM STOCKWELL: YOUCAN SLEEP AT NIGHTKNOWING HE'S THE MAYOR. &nbsp PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT JIM STOCKWELL. &nbsp WELL? &nbsp WHAT DO YOU THINK? &nbsp IF I WANT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, I COULD TAKE A XANAX. &nbsp OR I COULD WATCH YOUR AD. &nbsp [ Clearing of throat ] &nbsp Vance:WHAT... &nbsp MY PARTNER MEANS... &nbsp WHAT I MEAN IS, &nbsp IT'S FUCKING BORING. &nbsp THAT SPOT WAS MADE BY ONE OF THE BEST AGENCIES IN THE STATE. &nbsp 96% OF THE TEST GROUP WE SHOWED IT TO REACTED FAVOURABLY. &nbsp WHO WERE THEY,INSOMNIACS? &nbsp OUR LOYAL SUPPORTERS. &nbsp WELL, YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THEIR VOTE. &nbsp BUT WHAT ABOUT THE VOTERS WHO ARE UNDECIDED, &nbsp OR THE ONESWHO WOULDN'TCAST A BALLOT &nbsp FOR A LAW ANDORDER CANDIDATE? &nbsp YOU HAVE TO PULL THEM INTO YOUR CAMP IF YOU WANT TO WIN. &nbsp AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL &nbsp YOU'RE GOING TODO IT WITH THAT. &nbsp I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN? &nbsp DO YOUWORK OUT? &nbsp FOUR TIMESA WEEK.RELIGIOUSLY. &nbsp ANY SPORTS? GOLF. &nbsp SWIMMING. BASKETBALL. &nbsp HOBBIES? &nbsp BUILD MODEL AIRPLANES. &nbsp NO SHIT. &nbsp I DID THAT WHENI WAS A KID. &nbsp YOU TOO? SURE, WHO DIDN'T? &nbsp BUT WHAT'S THE, UM...WHAT'STHE POINT? &nbsp THE POINT IS, ICAN RELATE TO IT.EVERYONE CAN. &nbsp BUT WHO THE HELL'SGOING TO RELATETO SOME STIFFIN A UNIFORM? &nbsp BRIAN, TAKE IT EASY... IT'S ALL RIGHT. &nbsp I DON'T MINDTHE TRUTH. &nbsp EVEN IF YOU USE IT LIKE AN ASSAULT WEAPON. &nbsp SO... &nbsp WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?CHANGEYOUR IMAGE. &nbsp STOP SELLINGYOURSELFAS A HERO &nbsp AND START SELLING YOURSELF AS A MAN. &nbsp THAT'S IT?AN ORDINARY MAN, &nbsp WITH THE SAMECARES ANDCONCERNS ASEVERYONE ELSE. &nbsp THE ONLYDIFFERENCEIS, YOU'REIN A POSITION &nbsp TO ACTUALLYDO SOMETHINGABOUT IT. LOOK, &nbsp I KNOW I CAME TO YOU FOR SOME FRESH IDEAS. &nbsp HOWEVER, IT'S A RADICAL CHANGE FROM THE CAMPAIGN WE'VE BEEN RUNNING. &nbsp TOO RADICAL. &nbsp WELL, IT'S YOUR CALL. &nbsp BUT WITH THEWAY THINGSARE GOING, &nbsp I'D SAY YOUHAVE NOTHINGTO LOSE... &nbsp EXCEPT THEELECTION. &nbsp SEE NOW, THIS,UM, SHADE OFAPRICOT FORTHE WALLS &nbsp IS CALLINGOUT FOR APLUM CARPET; &nbsp WHICH PRACTICALLYSCREAMS FOR THERASPBERRY COUCH &nbsp WITH THE PEACHCUSHIONS. &nbsp YEAH, I KNEW I SHOULD'VE GOTTEN THE FRUIT COBBLER. &nbsp Lindsay:ISN'T IT ABIT EXTREME? &nbsp FOR EMMETT, I'D SAY IT'S A BIT SUBDUED. &nbsp EXCUSE ME? &nbsp YOU'RE MOVING INTOA DIFFERENT KINDOF NEIGHBOURHOOD. &nbsp IT'S NOT THEGAY GHETTO.IT'S... &nbsp A BEDROOMCOMMUNITY. &nbsp THERE'S A DIFFERENCE? &nbsp YES, IT'S MORE TRADITIONAL, &nbsp MORE RESERVED. &nbsp SO, MAYBE YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR STYLE, &nbsp LOSE THE STREISAND POSTERS. &nbsp "THE MAIN EVENT"WAS GOING INTHE ENTRY. &nbsp THE SLAVEBOY LAMPS? &nbsp IT'S GOING ON THE BAR, RIGHT? &nbsp YOU JUST WANT TO THINK ABOUT FITTING IN, &nbsp RATHER THAN STANDING OUT. &nbsp Lindsay:THINK OURHOUSE. &nbsp YOUR HOUSE? &nbsp AM I TO BELIEVEI'M ACTUALLYGETTINGDECORATOR TIPS &nbsp FROM LESBIANS? &nbsp LOOK, THIS IS EMMETT'S PROJECT, RIGHT? &nbsp HE'S GOT CARTE BLANCHE TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH THE HOUSE. &nbsp STREISAND, PLUMS, &nbsp KUMQUATS... IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS, THEN THAT'S WHAT IT'LL BE. &nbsp [ Mouthing silently ] &nbsp GOOD LUCK. &nbsp BY THE WAY,YOU DIDN'T HEARIT FROM ME, &nbsp AND I DIDN'THEAR IT FROM MYCOP BOYFRIEND; &nbsp BUT THERE'S A CERTAIN POLICE CHIEF WHO WANTS TO BE MAYOR &nbsp WHO'S TRYINGTO GET SOMEATTENTIONFOR HIMSELF &nbsp BY GOING AFTERBUSINESSES THATPANDER TO...SHALL WE SAY... &nbsp PRURIENT INTERESTS? &nbsp I WAS GONNA SAYWEB-WHACKERS. &nbsp WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, DEB. &nbsp I RUN A CLEAN OPERATION. &nbsp TEDDY IS IMMACULATE. &nbsp HE EVENRINSES OUTHIS UNDERWEAR &nbsp BEFORE HE PUTSTHEM IN THELAUNDRY. &nbsp HONEY, IFTHEY WANT TO, &nbsp THEY CAN ALWAYSFIND SOMETHING. &nbsp WELL, THANKS FOR THE HEADS- UP, DEB. &nbsp WELL, DON'T THANK ME... &nbsp THANK BENEDICT ARNOLD KINNEY. &nbsp HE'S THE ONE WORKING FOR THE ENEMY. &nbsp NICE TO SEEYOU TOO. &nbsp I'LL HAVE A SPLIT PEA SOUP TO GO. &nbsp JUSTIN, A SPLIT PEA. &nbsp AND FEEL FREE TO PISS IN IT. &nbsp YOU SHOULD REALLY LEARN TO SEPARATE YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS FROM BUSINESS, DEB. &nbsp IT'S THREE BUCKS. &nbsp WHERE'D YOU GET THE RING? &nbsp ETHAN &nbsp [ Ringing of till ] &nbsp HOW ROMANTIC. &nbsp FUCK ALL YOU'D KNOW ABOUT ROMANCE. &nbsp KEEP IT.THAT'S A BIG TIP. &nbsp MAYBE YOU COULD BUY HIM SOME FLOWERS. &nbsp I'M SURE HE'D LIKE THAT. &nbsp [ Slamming of till drawer ] &nbsp [ Humming ] &nbsp [ Clatter of typing ] &nbsp ARE YOU HAVINGAN INTERNETAFFAIR, MICHAEL?HMM? &nbsp [ Sniffing ] &nbsp YOU'VE BEEN ON THAT A LONG TIME. &nbsp [ Grunting ] &nbsp I'M DOING SOME RESEARCH.AH! &nbsp [ Whirring of printer ] &nbsp WORK? &nbsp FOR YOU. &nbsp ME? &nbsp STEROIDS? &nbsp I SAW YOU. &nbsp SAW ME WHAT? &nbsp SHOOTING UP. &nbsp SO UNLESS YOU'VESUDDENLY BECOMEA HEROIN ADDICT, &nbsp I FIGURE THAT'SWHAT IT IS. &nbsp MICHAEL, ARE YOUSPYING ON ME? &nbsp SPYING ON YOU? &nbsp WE LIVE TOGETHER.HOW CAN INOT NOTICE? &nbsp WELL, A LOT OF GUYS ARE USING THEM, OKAY? &nbsp TO FIGHT BODY WASTING. &nbsp YOU'RE NOT WASTING. &nbsp YET. &nbsp DID YOUR DOCTORPRESCRIBE THEM? &nbsp NO. WELL, THEN WHERE DID YOU GET THEM? &nbsp WHAT IS THIS, ANINTERROGATION? &nbsp I'M CONCERNED, THAT'S ALL. &nbsp IT SAYS THERE'RE A LOT OF SIDE EFFECTS. &nbsp MOOD SWINGS, DIARRHEA, LIVER DAMAGE... &nbsp YEAH, I'M AWAREOF THE POTENTIALSIDE EFFECTS,MICHAEL. &nbsp I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH TOO. &nbsp WELL THEN, WE SHOULD'VEAT LEAST TALKED IT OVER. &nbsp LOOK. &nbsp I'M JUST TRYING A CYCLE, OKAY? &nbsp TO SEE IFIT MAKES ANYDIFFERENCE. &nbsp AND SO FAR THE ADVANTAGES &nbsp ARE BEATING THE DISADVANTAGES. &nbsp HUH? [ Grunts ] &nbsp [ Groaning ] &nbsp HMM? YEAH? HUH? &nbsp UH... UH... &nbsp HUH? HUH? &nbsp IT'S NOT TOO BAD, HUH? &nbsp IT'S FINE. &nbsp [ Whispering ] HOW ABOUT THAT? &nbsp NICE. &nbsp AW, DON'T TELLME IT WORKSON THAT TOO. &nbsp HMM. &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp [ Dribblingof basketball ] &nbsp GET ON HIM, GET ON HIM, GET ON HIM. &nbsp GOOD SHOT. OKAY,TAKE IT OUT. &nbsp YOU'RE GUARDING HIM. MOVE A LITTLE BIT, RIGHT THERE. &nbsp

&nbsp I'M JIM STOCKWELL, &nbsp POLICE CHIEF AND COACH OF MY SON'S BASKETBALL TEAM. &nbsp THERE WAS A TIME WHEN YOU COULD SEND YOUR KIDS TO THE PARK. &nbsp BEFORE SEX AND DRUGS WERE AVAILABLE ON EVERY STREET CORNER. &nbsp AS A CRIME FIGHTER AND A PARENT, &nbsp I'D LIKE TO SEE THOSE TIMES AGAIN. &nbsp I KNOW YOU WOULD TOO. &nbsp VOTE FOR ME FOR MAYOR, &nbsp AND LET'S MAKE PITTSBURGH FAMILY- FRIENDLY ONCE MORE. &nbsp AND CUT. &nbsp KEEP ROLLING, KEEP ROLLING. &nbsp [ Whispering ] KEEP ROLLING. &nbsp [ Panting ] &nbsp HOW WAS THAT? &nbsp IT WAS GREAT. &nbsp DID YOU GET THAT?YEP, I GOT IT. &nbsp THANKS. &nbsp HOW WAS THAT? &nbsp IF I DIDN'TKNOW BETTER,I'D SWEAR YOUWERE TOM CRUISE. &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp Ted: EVERYONE HAVE VALID I.D.s? &nbsp Men: YES, SIR! &nbsp MM-HM. &nbsp ANY CONVICTED FELONS? &nbsp Men:NO, SIR! &nbsp MM-HM. &nbsp ANY ILLEGAL DRUGS ON THE PREMISES? &nbsp NO, SIR! &nbsp EXCELLENT. &nbsp ALL RIGHT... BACK TO WORK. &nbsp Men:YES, SIR! &nbsp OH, AND, UH... KEEP IT CLEAN. &nbsp YES, SIR! &nbsp I-I MEAN... YEAH, KEEP IT DIRTY BUT... &nbsp YES, SIR! &nbsp [ Sighing ]FIRE ALARMS, &nbsp SPRINKLERSYSTEMS, &nbsp HANDICAPPEDRAMP, TOILETS. &nbsp ALL UP TO CODE, MR. SCHMIDT. &nbsp ANY RODENTS OR PESTS ON THE PREMISES? &nbsp ONLY THE HUMAN KIND, MR. SCHMIDT. &nbsp ALL RULES AND REGU-LATIONS THE CORRECTSIZE AND CLEARLY POSTED? &nbsp MEASURED TO THE INCH. &nbsp JUST LIKE YOUR JERKERS, MR. SCHMIDT. &nbsp WELL THEN, EDDIE... &nbsp I'D SAY WE HAVENOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. &nbsp EVERY DETAIL HAS BEENCHECKED AND RE-CHECKED. &nbsp LET 'EM COME AND INSPECT. &nbsp WE, AT TEDDY'S WHACK-SHACK, ARE READY FOR THEM. &nbsp Woman: SO HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FIRST CONCERT APPEARANCE? &nbsp SCARED, CONFI- DENT, EXCITED? &nbsp Ethan: DEFINITELY ALL OF THE ABOVE. &nbsp Woman:Y-Y-YOU KNOW, IT'S QUITEA REMARKABLE ACHIEVEMENT &nbsp FOR SOMEONE SO YOUNG, AND OBVIOUS- LY SO GIFTED... &nbsp TO HAVE SUCHSUDDEN SUCCESS. &nbsp I UNDERSTANDTHAT UNTILRECENTLY, &nbsp YOU WEREPERFORMING ONSTREET CORNERS? &nbsp WELL, YOU GOTTA PAY THE RENT. &nbsp [ Chuckle ] [ Opening of door ] &nbsp WHAT'S UP? &nbsp HEY, THIS IS JUSTIN, MY COUSIN, AND HIS GIRL- FRIEND, DAPHNE. &nbsp THEY LIKE TO USETHE APARTMENTSOMETIMES WHENI'M NOT HERE. &nbsp HEY, GUYS, THISIS ALEXA SCOTT, &nbsp SHE'S, UH... INTERVIEWING ME FOR THE PAPER. &nbsp RIGHT. &nbsp Ethan:SO... &nbsp WHY DON'T YOU GUYSCOME BACK ANOTHER TIME? &nbsp SURE. I'LLSEE YOU LATER. &nbsp COME ON, DAPH. &nbsp SORRY ABOUT THE INTERRUPTION. &nbsp AH... &nbsp JUST A COUPLEMORE QUESTIONS. &nbsp DO YOU HAVEA GIRLFRIEND? &nbsp I'D PREFER NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT. &nbsp OH... THATUSUALLYMEANS YES. &nbsp Daphne: "GIRLFRIEND"? &nbsp WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? &nbsp HIS AGENT DOESN'T WANTANYONE TO KNOW HE'S GAY. &nbsp HE THINKS IT COULD HURT HIS CAREER. &nbsp WHO GIVES A SHITWHO A VIOLINISTIS FUCKING? &nbsp DON'T ASK ME. &nbsp I AGREED TO GO ALONG WITH IT. &nbsp YOU KNOW, BRIAN... MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN &nbsp EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IN A BOYFRIEND, &nbsp BUT AT LEASTHE NEVER ASKEDYOU TO LIE. &nbsp HE DIDN'T HAVE HIS ENTIRE FUTURE CAREER AT STAKE. &nbsp SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE HIS "COUSIN"? &nbsp LIKE ANYONE'S DUMBENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT. &nbsp NO ONE'S GOING TO KNOW. &nbsp JUSTIN, YOU ALMOST DIED COMING OUT. &nbsp HOW COULD YOU GO BACK IN FOR ANYONE? &nbsp I DON'T WANT TOTALK ABOUT IT. &nbsp BUT IT'S FUCKINGUNFAIR OF HIM &nbsp TO MAKE YOU PRETEND YOU'RE SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE NOT. &nbsp I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. &nbsp SO WOULD YOUMIND YOUROWN FUCKINGBUSINESS? &nbsp Emmett:CAN YOU BELIEVETHOSE DYKES &nbsp TELLING USHOW WE SHOULDDECORATEOUR HOUSE? &nbsp DON'T THEY REALIZELAURA ASHLEYWENT OUT WITHROTARY PHONES? &nbsp NOW, NOW. SHOW A LITTLE COMPASSION. &nbsp I MEAN, THEY CAN'T HELP IT IF... AH, THEY'RE DESIGN- CHALLENGED. &nbsp IT WOULD LOOKSTUNNING HERE. &nbsp WHAT WOULD? &nbsp A CHAIR AND OTTOMANUPHOLSTERED INDYED BLUEBERRYOSTRICH-SKIN. &nbsp [ Chuckle ]WHAT DOYOU THINK? &nbsp BRINGS OUT YOUR EYES. MMM. &nbsp BUT IT'S... IT'STOO EXPENSIVE. &nbsp WHO CARES ABOUT COST? &nbsp THIS ISN'T AN INVESTMENT, IT'S A HOME. &nbsp IT'S OUR HOME.HMM... &nbsp THIS MUST BEA FAIRY TALE'CAUSE I MARRIEDA PRINCE. &nbsp OO-WHOOPS!SORRY, GUYS. &nbsp I'M JUST HERE TO REPORT, &nbsp THE HOUSEINSPECTOR'SDOING JUST FINE. &nbsp NO MAJORPROBLEMSSO FAR. &nbsp KNOCK WOOD. [ Rapping on door ] &nbsp WELL... &nbsp HI, I'M SUNNY! SUNNY REED. &nbsp ACTUALLY, IT'S SUSANNA. &nbsp BUT EVER SINCE IWAS A BABY, THEYCALLED ME SUNNY, &nbsp I GUESS JUST BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE THE SUNNIEST SMILE ON MY FACE. &nbsp OH... I...I'M JENNIFER. &nbsp EVER SINCEI WAS A BABY,THEY'VE CALLEDME JENNIFER. &nbsp WELL, WELCOME TO THE NEIGH- BOURHOOD. &nbsp I JUST KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT HERE. &nbsp OH, THANKS.I'M JUST THEREALTOR, &nbsp I'M NOT THE NEW OWNER. &nbsp THAT'D BE ME. TED SCHMIDT. &nbsp Sunny:HI, TED! &nbsp SUNNY! SUNNY REED. &nbsp MY HUSBAND AND I JUST LIVE NEXT DOOR. &nbsp WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. &nbsp I BROUGHT YOU A CARAMEL CAKE. &nbsp I'M FAMOUS FORMY CARAMEL CAKE. &nbsp BUT DON'T WORRY, TED. &nbsp I'LL SHARE THE RECIPE WITH MRS. SCHMIDT. &nbsp WHERE IS MRS. SCHMIDT? &nbsp THAT'D BE ME. &nbsp THEN YOU'RE... &nbsp THAT'D BE US. &nbsp WELL, ISN'T THATINTERESTING? &nbsp WELL, I JUST KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT HERE. EVERYBODY DOES. &nbsp WE JUST HAVETHE BEST SCHOOLSAND CHURCHES, &nbsp AND EVERYBODY BABYSITS AND LOOKS OUT FOR EACH OTHER'S KIDS. &nbsp WELL, THATSOUNDS LIKE AVERY FRIENDLYGROUP OF PEOPLE, &nbsp DOESN'TIT, GUYS? &nbsp VERY. &nbsp FRIENDLY.Sunny:IN FACT, &nbsp IT'S A TRADITIONTHAT WE HOST ACOCKTAIL PARTY &nbsp FOR OUR NEW ARRIVALS. &nbsp NOTHING FORMAL,JUST A LITTLE... &nbsp "HI, WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD" KIND OF THING. &nbsp SO, HOW'SFRIDAY AT AROUND6:00, JUSTRIGHT NEXT DOOR? &nbsp WELL, THANK YOU... SUNNY. &nbsp SUCH A LOVELY HOUSE. &nbsp THE HARRISES,THEY JUSTHAD THE MOSTEXQUISITE TASTE. &nbsp EARLY AMERICANFURNITURE ANDORIENTAL RUGS... &nbsp WELL, ISHOULD GO.[ Laughing ] &nbsp OH, YOUR CAKE!OH. &nbsp OH... SEE YOU FRIDAY. &nbsp SEE YOU FRIDAY.BYE-BYE, SUNNY. &nbsp BYE.TOODLES. &nbsp THERE YOU GO, MRS. SCHMIDT. &nbsp Debbie:JEN SAID THATTED AND EMMETT'SNEW HOUSE &nbsp HAS TONNES OFCURB APPEAL. &nbsp LIKE YOU. &nbsp ALTHOUGH WHY THOSE TWO WOULD WANT TO LIVE &nbsp AROUND A BUNCH OF BREEDERS IS BEYOND ME. &nbsp A LOT OF US AREMOVING ON UPTHESE DAYS. &nbsp I'LL TAKE LIBERTY AVENUE. &nbsp OH... OH, SHIT! &nbsp WHAT? &nbsp MY GOOD RING JUST FELL BEHIND THE FRIDGE. &nbsp YOUR GOOD RING? &nbsp YEAH, THE ONE I GOT ON THE TV SHOW. &nbsp FROM THE JOAN RIVERS COLLECTION? &nbsp Debbie: AND DON'T SAY A FUCKING THING AGAINST HER. &nbsp I LIKE THATSHE'S GOT ABIG, DIRTY MOUTH &nbsp THAT GETS HER IN TROUBLE. &nbsp I WONDER WHY. &nbsp SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAND. &nbsp WHAT... MA. W-WAIT... &nbsp SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAND HERE. &nbsp DEBBIE, DEBBIE.DEBBIE, DEBBIE,DEBBIE. &nbsp Ben:OH. LET ME DOTHAT, ALL RIGHT? &nbsp YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF. &nbsp [ Grunts of effort ] &nbsp ALL RIGHT. &nbsp CAN YOU SEE IT? &nbsp U-U-UMMM... &nbsp THIS?YES! &nbsp OH, MY HERO. &nbsp [ Chuckle ] &nbsp OH. NOW THAT'SWHAT I CALLA REAL MAN. &nbsp WE COULD'VE DONE THE SAME. &nbsp YEAH, WITH A FORKLIFT. &nbsp [ Chuckles ] &nbsp OH YEAH. &nbsp THANK YOU. Ben: OKAY. &nbsp OKAY. WELL, I BETTER GO WASH MY HANDS. &nbsp HAS BEN ACTUALLYGOTTEN BIGGER SINCETHE LAST TIME I SAW HIM? &nbsp YEAH, WELL HE'S BEEN WORKING OUT A LOT LATELY. &nbsp AND IT SHOWS. &nbsp HMM. WHAT'S HIS SECRET? &nbsp YOU KNOW, PROTEIN SHAKES, LOW CARB DIET, STUFF LIKE THAT. &nbsp DOES "STUFF LIKE THAT" INCLUDE STEROIDS? &nbsp IS THAT WHATHE'S DOING? &nbsp HE SAYS IT PREVENTS WASTING. &nbsp WASTING? HE'SBUILT LIKE ABRICK SHITHOUSE. &nbsp THE STUFF IS POISON. &nbsp FOR ONE THING, IT MAKES YOU MEANER THAN CAT PISS. &nbsp AND FORANOTHER...FOR ANOTHER, &nbsp IT'S NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. &nbsp IF THAT'S WHAT BEN NEEDS TO DO TO STAY ALIVE AND HEALTHY, &nbsp THEN... THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. &nbsp Vince: CAN'T ARGUE THAT... &nbsp IF THAT'S THE ONLY REASON. &nbsp

&nbsp I'M JIM STOCKWELL, &nbsp POLICE CHIEF AND COACH OF MY SON'S BASKETBALL TEAM. &nbsp THERE WAS A TIME WHEN YOU COULD SEND YOUR KIDS TO THE PARK, &nbsp BEFORE SEX AND DRUGS WERE AVAILABLE ON EVERY CORNER. &nbsp AS A CRIME FIGHTER AND A PARENT, &nbsp I'D LIKE TO SEE THOSE TIMES AGAIN. &nbsp I KNOW YOU WOULD TOO. &nbsp VOTE FOR ME FOR MAYOR, &nbsp AND LET'S MAKE PITTSBURGH FAMILY- FRIENDLY ONCE MORE. &nbsp

&nbsp YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING. &nbsp Woman:IT'S AMUSIC VIDEO, &nbsp NOT A CAMPAIGN ADVERTISEMENT. &nbsp THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GOING TO RUN THAT. &nbsp IT'S PRACTICALLY OBSCENE, &nbsp REVEALING HISBODY LIKE SOMESORT OF... &nbsp SEX OBJECT. &nbsp WHAT DO YOU THINK SELLS CORN FLAKES? &nbsp THERE IS A STRATEGY BEHIND ALL THIS... &nbsp WHEN WE'LL AIR THE SPOT, &nbsp ON WHICH PROGRAMMES... &nbsp THOSE WITH A STRONG FEMALE DEMOGRAPHIC, &nbsp AGES 18-34. &nbsp ALL RIGHT, DO IT. &nbsp JIM, YOU CAN'T... &nbsp BUT IF YOU TURN ME INTO A JOKE... &nbsp I'LL FUCKINGHAVE YOUR BALLS. &nbsp IF HE TURNS YOU INTO A JOKE, &nbsp I'LL FUCKING GIVE THEM TO YOU. &nbsp [ Humming of hair dryer ] &nbsp EM? &nbsp HI, HON, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT. &nbsp THE NEW "TRAVIATA" JUST CAME OUT. &nbsp CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT. &nbsp OH YEAH? &nbsp [ Chuckling ] &nbsp WHAT'S SO FUNNY? &nbsp WHAT, ARE YOU... YOU PLANNING ON GOING STRAIGHT AGAIN, &nbsp OR IS THIS SOME KIND OF BIZARRO, CROSS- DRESSING PRACTICE &nbsp YOU ENGAGEIN WHEN I'MNOT AROUND? &nbsp I WAS JUST PUTTING TOGETHER AN OUTFIT FOR THE NEIGHBOURS' PARTY. &nbsp WELL, YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN. [ Chuckling ] &nbsp OH, OH, ANDCHECK THIS OUT. &nbsp IT'S MY NEW COLOUR SCHEME FOR THE LIVING ROOM. &nbsp MOCHA WALLS, &nbsp CHOCOLATEMOHAIR COUCH,AND, UM... &nbsp CHARCOAL TWEED CLUB CHAIRS. &nbsp OH, IT'S...VERY SMART, VERYSOPHISTICATED, BUTNOT VERY YOU. &nbsp I MEAN, WHAT...WHAT HAPPENEDTO THE... THEPLUM CARPET, &nbsp THE RASPBERRYSOFA, THE... &nbsp CASABA MELONPILLOWS? &nbsp PEACH.OH. &nbsp WELL, I... I HATE TO ADMIT IT, &nbsp BUT YOU KNOW,MAYBE MEL ANDLINZ WERE RIGHT. &nbsp IT WAS TOO... FRUITY. &nbsp UH-HUH. SO, &nbsp INSTEAD WE GETASSIMILATIONIST-BEIGE, &nbsp BLEND-RIGHT-IN-BROWNAND MAKE-NO-WAVES-GREY. &nbsp I JUST FIGURED THAT SINCE WE'RE LEAVING LIBERTY AVENUE, &nbsp MAYBE IT WAS TIME WE LEFT CERTAIN OTHER THINGS BEHIND TOO. &nbsp LIKE OUR COLOURSCHEME, OURSELF-RESPECT?I MEAN, WHAT... &nbsp WHATEVER HAPPENED"TO FUCK 'EM ALL"HONEYCUTT? &nbsp BACK IN HAZELHURST, &nbsp I USED TO LOOK UP AT THOSE HOUSES ON THE HILL, &nbsp YOU KNOW, WHERE THE RIGHT PEOPLE LIVED? &nbsp AND DREAM THATONE DAY, I WOULDLIVE THERE TOO. &nbsp AND NOW THAT MY DREAM IS FINALLY COMING TRUE, I... &nbsp I JUST... I DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING TH... &nbsp THAT WE'RE THEFAGS NEXT DOOR? &nbsp WELL, THAT'SWHAT WE'RE GOINGTO BE NO MATTERWHAT YOU DO. &nbsp AND IF THEYDON'T SAY ITTO OUR FACE, &nbsp THEY'LL SAY ITBEHIND OUR BACKS. &nbsp WAIT THERE. &nbsp [ Distant wailing of sirens ] &nbsp THIS IS WHATTHE WELL-DRESSEDQUEER WILLBE WEARING &nbsp ON FRIDAYNIGHT. &nbsp I LOVE THATSHIRT. ISN'TIT SO CUTE? &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp Ben:PERFECT.ALL RIGHT, MAN. &nbsp THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. &nbsp I DIDN'TSEE YOU. &nbsp GUESS NOT. &nbsp [ Sniffing ] &nbsp YOU DON'T USUALLY, UH, &nbsp WORK OUT THIS TIME OF DAY, DO YOU? &nbsp NOT USUALLY. &nbsp LOOK, IT'S NOTWHAT YOU THINK. &nbsp I THINK IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK. &nbsp MICHAEL TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO TALK TO YOU. &nbsp HUH. &nbsp YEAH, WELL HE DID. &nbsp AND HE UNDERSTANDS. &nbsp WELL, THAT'SMICHAEL. &nbsp ALWAYS UNDERSTANDING. &nbsp WHY DON'T YOUJUST MIND YOUROWN BUSINESS? &nbsp IF IT WAS JUST YOU, I WOULD. &nbsp AS MY DEAR OLDDAD USED TO SAY, &nbsp YOU'RE THREE TIMES SEVEN. &nbsp BUT IT'S NOTJUST YOU. &nbsp YOU'RE TAKING HIM DOWN WITH YOU. &nbsp I DO NOT NEED TOBE LECTURED BYTHE BIGGEST WHOREIN PITTSBURGH. &nbsp YOU ARE FUCKINGLUCKY YOU'RENOT POSITIVE. &nbsp [ Grunt ] &nbsp Ethan: YOU ALL RIGHT? &nbsp SURE. &nbsp REALLY? &nbsp IT WAS THEINTERVIEW. &nbsp NO. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT. &nbsp HUH, DAPHNE WAS PRETTY PISSED OFF, THOUGH. &nbsp PASSING ME OFF AS YOUR COUSIN. &nbsp WELL, COME ON.I HAD TO THINKOF SOMETHING. &nbsp MMM?MMM. &nbsp IS THIS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE FROM NOW ON? &nbsp LYING, PLAYING GAMES... &nbsp NOW YOU'RE GOING AWAY. &nbsp TO HARRISBURGFOR ONE NIGHT. &nbsp IT'S NOT LIKEI'M GOING ONA WORLD TOUR. &nbsp THAT'S NEXT.I WISH. &nbsp LOOK. &nbsp WHO KNOWSWHAT'S GOINGTO HAPPEN?HMM. &nbsp I COULD BOMB,AND THAT'LL BETHE END OF IT. &nbsp BUT IFTHIS WORKS... &nbsp WE COULD HAVE THIS AMAZING LIFE. &nbsp I WAS THINKING,WE COULD BUYA FARMHOUSE, &nbsp WITH ASTUDIO, AND APRACTICE ROOM. &nbsp HUH... YOU DREAM BIG. &nbsp WHY NOT? DOESN'TCOST ANYTHING. &nbsp GOD, YOU'RESUCH A ROMANTIC. &nbsp I HATE THATYOU'RE NOTGOING TO BETHERE WITH ME. &nbsp NOT AS MUCH AS ME. &nbsp HOW AM I GOINGTO PERFORMWITHOUT MY MUSE? &nbsp YOU'LLDO FINE. &nbsp BESIDES, YOUALWAYS SAID IWAS DISTRACTING. &nbsp DON'T YOU KNOWI WAS PLAYINGJUST FOR YOU? &nbsp [ Chuckle ] &nbsp Both: [ Heavy breathing ] &nbsp YOU'RE NOT READY. &nbsp WELL, COME ON. GET DRESSED. &nbsp YOU DON'T WANTTO MISS ALL THATHOT MALE ACTION. &nbsp WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? &nbsp THIS. &nbsp HOW'D YOU GET THAT? &nbsp WHAT? DID ONE OF YOUR SEX PARTNERS GET CARRIED AWAY? &nbsp NO, ONEOF YOURS. &nbsp YOUR BOYFRIEND PRACTICALLY STUFFED ME INTO A LOCKER. &nbsp WHAT? HOW COME? &nbsp WELL, IT SEEMS ISAID SOMETHING ABOUTHIS STEROID USE &nbsp HE TOOKOBJECTION TO. &nbsp WHY'D YOU SAYANYTHING AT ALL? &nbsp UM... &nbsp BECAUSE IT'SUNDIGNIFIED FORA UNIVERSITYPROFESSOR &nbsp AND NOT-SO-BEST-SELLING AUTHOR &nbsp TO BE SEEN MAKINGDRUG DEALS INA LOCKER ROOM. &nbsp YOU SAW HIM?YEAH. &nbsp AND NOW I'LL BE FORCED TO SIT AT HOME, &nbsp NOT WEARING MY MOSTFABULOUS NEW SLEEVELESSSHIRT TO BABYLON. &nbsp I'M REALLY SORRY. &nbsp YEAH, LIKETHAT MAKES UPFOR THE FACT &nbsp THAT I'LL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE. &nbsp WELL, YOU CAN...TELL PEOPLE YOUGOT IT DUELLING. &nbsp I THOUGHT YOUWERE GOING TOTALK TO HIM. I DID. &nbsp HE SAID IT'SSOMETHING HENEEDS TO DO. &nbsp [ Scoffing ]BEN NEEDS MOREMUSCLES LIKE INEED ANOTHER COCK. &nbsp HE SAID HE'S AWARE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS. &nbsp LIKE PRACTICAL-LY MURDERING &nbsp HIS LOVER'SBEST FRIEND? &nbsp WELL, IFYOU'RE COOLSLEEPING WITHYOUR EYES OPEN &nbsp AND A HATCHETUNDER YOURPILLOW, THAT'SYOUR BUSINESS. &nbsp JUST KEEPHIM THE FUCKAWAY FROM ME. &nbsp Ethan: OKAY, I GOT MY RENTED TUX, &nbsp MY TRAIN TICKET... &nbsp "MISCHA". &nbsp OKAY, IGUESS THAT'SEVERYTHING. &nbsp EXCEPT YOU. &nbsp IT'S OKAY.YOU'LL BEBACK TOMORROW. &nbsp I LOVE STIFF-UPPER-LIP GOODBYES. &nbsp SO MRS. MINIVER. &nbsp WHO'S SHE? &nbsp IT'S FROMAN OLD MOVIE.DON'T YOU KNOWANYTHING? &nbsp I'M AN IDIOT. &nbsp AH, SHUT UP.CAREFUL. &nbsp THERE MIGHT BE PAPARAZZI LURKING ON THE ROOFTOP. &nbsp FUCK 'EM. &nbsp LOOK! [ Chuckling ] &nbsp Children:[ Mockinglaughter ] &nbsp I'LL BE THINKINGABOUT YOU, &nbsp EVERY STEP OFTHE WAY, WISHINGYOU WERE THERE. &nbsp ME TOO. &nbsp YOU WILL BE.OH GOD. &nbsp WHAT A CORNBALL. &nbsp IT'S WHYYOU LOVE ME. &nbsp [ Closing of cab door ] &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp THIS IS AMAZING.JUST AMAZING. &nbsp YOU'VE GONE UP EIGHT POINTS IN THE POLLS. &nbsp THERE WAS EVEN AN EDITORIAL IN THE PAPER THIS MORNING. &nbsp GOOD OR BAD? IT WAS MIXED. &nbsp IT DOESN'T MATTERAS LONG ASTHEY'RE TALKINGABOUT YOU. &nbsp AND ALL SINCE YOUR COMMER- CIALS AIRED. &nbsp YEAH, ALL OF THOSEYEARS OF SIT-UPSFINALLY PAID OFF. &nbsp WELL, WE'VE BEEN GETTING CALLS ABOUT IT ALL MORNING. &nbsp I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, I HAD EVERY FAITH IN YOU. &nbsp NO, YOUDIDN'T. &nbsp BUT YOU TOOK A CHANCE ANYWAY. &nbsp Vance: SO, UH... &nbsp WHAT'S OURRESIDENTGENIUS HAVEIN MIND NOW? &nbsp Jim: [ On TV ] I'M JIM STOCKWELL, &nbsp POLICE CHIEF, AND COACH OF MY SON'S BASKETBALL TEAM. &nbsp THERE WAS A TIME... &nbsp KEEP YOUR FACE IN THE NEWS. &nbsp I'LL KEEP YOUR FACE ON THE SCREEN. &nbsp Jim: [ On TV ]...AVAILABLE ONEVERY CORNER. &nbsp AS A CRIME FIGHTER AND A PARENT... &nbsp HUH, COME ON. &nbsp WE'RE THE GUESTSOF HONOUR. IT'SRUDE TO BE LATE. &nbsp MY INTUITIONTELLS ME THINGSARE NOT GOING TOGO WELL TONIGHT. &nbsp WELL, YOURINTUITION ALSOTOLD YOU MADONNA &nbsp WAS GOING TO WINTHE OSCAR FOR"EVITA", SO... &nbsp SHE SO DESERVED IT. &nbsp [ Sigh ]LOOK, &nbsp NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN THERE TONIGHT, JUST REMEMBER, &nbsp THIS IS WHAT PRIDE IS ALL ABOUT. &nbsp WHY OUR FOREFATHERS AND FORE... &nbsp DRAG QUEENSSTOOD THEIRGROUND ATSTONEWALL... &nbsp SO THAT WE COULDBUY A HOUSE INA NEIGHBOURHOODLIKE THIS. &nbsp [ Chiming of doorbell ] &nbsp Sunny:OH, THEREYOU TWO ARE! &nbsp COME ON IN! &nbsp OH-H-H! &nbsp [ Party chatter ] &nbsp OH MY GOODNESS,LOOK AT THAT! &nbsp I CAN'T WEAR PASTELS, THEY MAKE ME LOOK SO DUMPY. &nbsp BUT YOU GAYS CANWEAR ANYTHING. &nbsp SUCH BEAUTIFUL BODIES. &nbsp YOU PUT OUR HUSBANDS TO SHAME! &nbsp SPEAKING OFTHE DEVIL, MYHUSBAND, DENNIS. &nbsp DEN, OURNEW NEIGHBOURS,FRED AND EMILE. &nbsp UH, IT'S TED. &nbsp EMMETT. [ Chuckling ] &nbsp GLAD YOUCOULD MAKE IT. &nbsp WE KNOW YOU BOYSPROBABLY HAVEA LOT MORE... &nbsp EXCITING THINGS TO DO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. &nbsp WELL, ACTUALLY...THEY DON'TNEED TO KNOW &nbsp ABOUT KILLERKROTCH NITEAT BABYLON. &nbsp HOW ABOUT A DRINK? &nbsp I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT TIT... &nbsp I MEAN, MY LEFT ARM, FORA, UH... FOR A COSMO. &nbsp Sunny:EVERYBODY!WELL... &nbsp THESE ARE THEBOYS WHO BOUGHTTHE HARRIS HOUSE. &nbsp Women: [ Squeals of welcome ] &nbsp Woman: HI! &nbsp I'M DEDE ANDTHIS IS PHIL. &nbsp WE LIVE ACROSS THE STREET. &nbsp HI. WELL, SUNNY HAS TOLD US &nbsp ALL ABOUT YOU. &nbsp YOU KNOW,OUR FAVOURITETV SHOW &nbsp IS THAT GAYDRAMA, UH... &nbsp WHAT'S ITCALLED? &nbsp "GAY AS", UH.... &nbsp UH... SOMETHING. &nbsp "GAY AS BLAZES"? THAT'S IT! &nbsp OH, WE LOVETHE CHARACTERS. &nbsp YOU KNOW, GAY PEOPLE &nbsp HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS THAT WE DO. &nbsp I-ISN'T IT AMAZING? YEAH. &nbsp [ Giggling ] &nbsp WE'RE THEMAYERHOFFS. &nbsp HI. &nbsp YOU MUST COMETO THE SCHOOLMUSICAL. &nbsp WE'RE DOING "MAME",AND OUR 12-YEAR-OLDOLIVIA IS MAME. &nbsp OH?NOT UNTIL THEYCOME TO MY HOUSEFOR DINNER. &nbsp I HAVE A COUSINWHO'S A LESBIAN. &nbsp BIG DEAL. MYBROTHER ISA TRANNY. &nbsp WHAT THE HELL'S THAT? &nbsp Man:SOME PEOPLE ARESO IGNORANT,AREN'T THEY? &nbsp A TRANSSEXUAL.RIGHT, GUYS? &nbsp YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S... RIGHT.UH, IT'S...IT'S TOTALLY &nbsp WHAT WECALL THEM. T- T... TRANNY. TRA... &nbsp Dennis:DRINKS? &nbsp All:CHEERS! CHEERS! &nbsp All: [ Laughing ] &nbsp Dede:WELCOME TO OURNEW NEIGHBOURS. &nbsp HAPPY HOME-OWNING! &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp Ethan:SO WHAT DIDYOU THINK? &nbsp All: [ Clapping ] &nbsp

&nbsp [ Indistinctcomments ] &nbsp JUST TERRIFIC. THANK YOU. &nbsp THRILLINGPERFORMANCE. &nbsp AND YOU WERE SO PASSIONATE. &nbsp I TEND TO GETINVOLVED WITHWHAT I'M PLAYING. &nbsp AND TO STEP INLIKE THAT, ATTHE LAST MINUTE. &nbsp MOST IMPRESSIVE. &nbsp IT WAS APRIVILEGE TOPERFORM, SIR.THANK YOU. &nbsp YOU PLAY YOURADMIRERS ALMOSTAS WELL ASYOUR VIOLIN. &nbsp I DIDN'T WORKSTREET CORNERSFOR NOTHING. &nbsp Man:WELL DONE,MR. GOLD. &nbsp NEXT TIME,WE GET A TUXTHAT FITS. &nbsp YOU MEAN THERE'SACTUALLY GOING TOBE A NEXT TIME? &nbsp I SPOKE WITHTHE BUFFALOSYMPHONY. &nbsp THEY WANT TOINCLUDE YOU INTHEIR "EMERGINGARTISTS SERIES." &nbsp NO SHIT!MR. GOLD? &nbsp WONDERFUL.THANK YOU. THANKYOU VERY MUCH! &nbsp I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET BACK TO NEW YORK WITH THE DETAILS, OKAY? &nbsp

&nbsp [ Indistinct conversation ] &nbsp

&nbsp [ Inaudible ] &nbsp

&nbsp [ Inaudible ] &nbsp

&nbsp COCKTAIL FRANK? &nbsp UH, IT'S TED. &nbsp [ Giggling ] &nbsp THANK YOU, SUNNY. &nbsp WHAT LINE AREYOU IN, EMMETT? &nbsp I, UH, I WORK AT A SMALL GENTLEMAN'S HABERDASHERY, &nbsp ON LIBERTY AVENUE. &nbsp OH, THEGAY STREET! &nbsp YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. &nbsp Sunny:COCKTAIL FRANK?NO, THANK YOU. &nbsp BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO &nbsp IS BE A PARTY PLANNER. &nbsp MAYBE YOU COULD HELP PLAN MY HOLIDAY PARTY. &nbsp Dede: AND MINE! &nbsp OH, AND MINE! &nbsp NO, THAT WOULD BE GREAT! &nbsp AH! [ Laughter ] &nbsp AND YOURINTUITION TOLDYOU TONIGHT WOULDBE A DISASTER. &nbsp [ Chiming of doorbell ] &nbsp [ Laughter ] &nbsp CAN I HELP YOU, OFFICERS? &nbsp IS SOMEONE DOUBLE-PARKED? &nbsp UH, WE WERETOLD WE MIGHTFIND A... &nbsp THEODORE SCHMIDTHERE, MA'AM. &nbsp HIS OFFICEGAVE US THISADDRESS. &nbsp OUR NEW NEIGHBOUR. &nbsp HE'S RIGHT IN HERE. &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp Woman:LITTLE SLEEPERS,BABY POWDER... &nbsp THEODORE SCHMIDT? &nbsp Woman: OH... &nbsp YEAH, THAT'S, UH... RIGHT. &nbsp CAN I... CAN I HELP YOU, OFFICERS? &nbsp YOU'RE UNDERARREST,MR. SCHMIDT. &nbsp A-ARREST? &nbsp FOR WHAT? &nbsp CONTRIBUTING TO THE DELINQUENCY OF A MINOR. &nbsp TH... THAT'SVERY FLATTERING,OFFICER. I... &nbsp KNOW I LOOK WAY YOUNGER THAN MY YEARS, BUT... &nbsp AN INSPECTIONOF YOUR PORNO-GRAPHIC WEBSITEESTABLISHMENT &nbsp FOUND AN UNDER-AGE EMPLOYEE ONYOUR PREMISES. &nbsp HUH! NO, THAT...THAT'S ABSURD. &nbsp I CHECKED AND DOUBLE- CHECKED EVERYONE. &nbsp THERE ARE NO UNDER- AGE EMPLOYEES. &nbsp WHAT ABOUT EDWARD STEWART MALONE? &nbsp EDDIE? HE... HE'S MY ASSISTANT. &nbsp HE WON'T BE 18 FOR ANOTHER 3 MONTHS. &nbsp Various:GOOD LORD. OH-H! &nbsp EDDIE'S 21! &nbsp NOT ACCORDING TO HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE. &nbsp B-BUT, HE... HE'S SO TALL. &nbsp WANT TO COME ALONG? &nbsp OFFICER NORTONHERE WILL READYOU THE MIRANDA. &nbsp EM... &nbsp UH, UH... &nbsp UH, TH-THANKYOU, SUNNY, &nbsp THANK YOU, DENNIS, UM... &nbsp WELL, EVERYONE, AS... ASSOON AS WE GET MOVED IN, &nbsp WE'RE GOING... HAVE A...A... A BIG OL' BARBECUE. &nbsp AND YOU'RE... &nbsp YOU'RE ALL INVITED. SO... &nbsp Various: OH... GOODNESS. OH, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE. &nbsp Ben:[ Vomiting ] &nbsp [ Moaning ] &nbsp [ Spitting ] &nbsp [ Flushing of toilet ] [ Cough ] &nbsp CAN I DO ANYTHING?AGH. &nbsp [ Splashing of water ] &nbsp [ Spitting ] &nbsp [ Sighing ] &nbsp MMMM. &nbsp MUST BE SOME- THING I ATE.OR THE STEROIDS. &nbsp WE ALREADY HAD THAT CONVERSATION. &nbsp IT'S FUCKINGYOU UP. &nbsp IT IS NOT FUCKING ME UP. &nbsp YEAH, IT IS.AND YOU DON'TEVEN KNOW IT. &nbsp CHRIST, YOUEVEN HIT BRIAN. &nbsp I DID NOT HIT HIM! &nbsp WELL, SHOVEDHIM, MADEHIM BLEED, &nbsp WHATEVER. BUT YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND SHOVING PEOPLE &nbsp AND ACTINGALL CRAZY. OH, NOW I'M CRAZY? &nbsp UH, FUCK YOU! &nbsp YOU'RE NOTCRAZY. YOUJUST... &nbsp SOMETIMES YOUACT THAT WAY. &nbsp YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. &nbsp UNDERSTANDWHAT? &nbsp WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING &nbsp AND REMEMBER,"OH YEAH, I'VEGOT THIS THING." &nbsp BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THIS THING. &nbsp YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE A MOUTHFUL OF MEDS, &nbsp NEVER KNOWING WHEN THEY'LL STOP WORKING, &nbsp NEVER KNOWING WHEN A FUCKING COUGH OR A FUCKING SNIFFLE &nbsp MAY LAND YOU IN THE HOSPITAL, BECAUSE TO YOU, &nbsp MICHAEL, IT IS JUST A FUCKING COUGH OR A FUCKING SNIFFLE! &nbsp AND EVERY TIMEI GO TO KISS YOU &nbsp OR SUCK YOUOR FUCK YOU, &nbsp EVEN WHEN WE'RE PROTECTED, EVEN THEN THERE'S STILL THIS SHITTY, &nbsp NAGGING DOUBTTHAT MAYBE, JUSTMAYBE, YOU COULDGET INFECTED. &nbsp SOMETIMES I JUST THINK...WHAT? &nbsp SOMETIMES YOUJUST THINK WHAT? &nbsp THAT IT MIGHT JUST BE EASIER &nbsp TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S POSITIVE. &nbsp [ Slamming of door ] &nbsp [ Sniffling ] &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ MY EYES BURN NAKED ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY BLACK COLD NUMBERS ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY INSECURITIES ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY DEVIOUS NATURE ♪ &nbsp ♪ MAKE IT GO AWAY ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE? &nbsp NO THANKS. &nbsp WHERE'S YOUR FIANCE? &nbsp HE'S PLAYING SOMEWHERE. &nbsp WELL, LUCKILY... &nbsp YOU HAVE THIS. &nbsp

&nbsp SEE YA. &nbsp ♪ MY EYES BURN NAKED ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY BLACK COLD NUMBERS ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY INSECURITIES ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY DEVIOUS NATURE ♪ &nbsp ♪ MAKE IT GO AWAY ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ MY REST BETWEEN RUBBER ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY SPIDER SHADOW ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY SHATTERED DANCER ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ BEAUTIFUL ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ BROKEN ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY CRYSTAL FINGERS ♪ &nbsp ♪ BEAUTIFUL ♪ &nbsp ♪ BROKEN ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY CRYSTAL FINGERS ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ MY GLASS LIKE RAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY ILLUMINATION ♪ &nbsp ♪ MY CRACKS ARE SLIDING ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp MOO. &nbsp

&nbsp