Original subtitles

P { margin-left:8pt; margin-right:8pt; margin-bottom:2pt; margin-top:2pt; text-align:center; font-size:20pt; font-family:arial, sans-serif; font-weight:normal; color:white; } .ENCC { Name:English; lang:en-US; SAMIType:CC;} #STDPrn { Name:Standard Print;} #LargePrn { Name:Large Print; font-size:25pt;} #SmallPrn { Name:Small Print; font-size:15pt;} ONE, TWO, THREE,FOUR, FIVE, SIX. &nbsp SHAKE IT, DUDE. &nbsp

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&nbsp [ Stopping of dryer ] &nbsp [ Sliding of coins ] &nbsp [ Shudderof disgust ] &nbsp I LOST A SOCK AND A PAIR OF SHORTS, &nbsp BUT THE FUCK IF I'M GOING BACK DOWN THERE WITH THE CRYPT-MASTER. &nbsp BEN?UH, YEAH? &nbsp I... I SAID THERE WAS THIS GUY DOWN THERE. THIS... &nbsp THIS IN... CREDIBLY HOT GUY. AND I WAS... &nbsp I WAS BENDING OVER TO GET MY LAUNDRY OUT OF THE DRYER, &nbsp AND... AND HE RIPPED OFF MY PANTS &nbsp AND HE FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. [ Groan ] &nbsp UH-HUH? &nbsp [ Grunt ] HEY, HEY, WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? &nbsp I'M READING THENEWSPAPER ANDI'M NEAR-SIGHTED &nbsp SO I... OH, THECLASSIFIEDS. OH... &nbsp YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT, MICHAEL. &nbsp UH... YOUALREADY HAVEAN APARTMENT, &nbsp COMPLETE WITHAPPLIANCES ANDHARDWOOD FLOORS, &nbsp AND A BUILT-INBOYFRIEND... YEAH, I TOLD YOU, &nbsp I-I THINK IT'S BEST IF I HAVE MY OWN PLACE.YEAH. &nbsp AND I THINKIT'S BEST... &nbsp THAT YOU STAY. &nbsp HMM... &nbsp ARE YOU SUREYOU WOULDN'TRATHER BE OUTWITH BRIAN? &nbsp

&nbsp WELL, I HAVETO ADMIT, ITIS TEMPTING. &nbsp BUT THEN, I WOULD MISS OUT &nbsp ON ALL THEPRE-SOAKING,[ Scoffing ] &nbsp AND SPIN-DRYING,AND NOT TOMENTION, &nbsp HAVING THE HOTTEST MAN IN PITTSBURGH &nbsp TO HELP ME FLUFF 'N' FOLD. &nbsp [ Sigh ] &nbsp Brian:HELP YOU WITH THECENTER CARNIVAL? &nbsp ARE YOUOUT OF YOURFUCKING MIND? &nbsp I LIKE TOTHINK NOT. HUH. &nbsp AFTER THE WAYTHEY SCREWED ME, &nbsp THE ONLY THING I'D LIKETO HELP THE CENTER DOIS SELF-DESTRUCT. &nbsp WELL, THAT'SEXACTLY WHATMIGHT HAPPEN &nbsp IF WE DON'T BOOST OUR CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP &nbsp AND RAISE A COUPLE 100,000. &nbsp IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. &nbsp [ Clearing of throat ]AH... &nbsp ANYONE ELSE IN THERE ISHOULD KNOW ABOUT? HUH. &nbsp UH, HOPEFULLYNOT BEFORE I DO. &nbsp LOOK, IT MAY NOTBE YOUR PROBLEM. &nbsp BUT IT'D BE A VERY BIG PROBLEM &nbsp FOR A LOT OF MEMBERS OF OUR COMMUNITY &nbsp IF WE HAD TOCUT ON AIDSHOSPICE CARE &nbsp OR THE HOMELESS TEEN SHELTER. &nbsp ALL I'M ASKING &nbsp IS FOR YOU TO VOLUNTEERA FEW HOURS OF YOUR TIME &nbsp TO HELP ORGANIZETHIS FUNDRAISER. &nbsp MAYBE CALL A FEWOF YOUR CLIENTS &nbsp AND SEE IF THEY'D BE WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE. &nbsp OH, I-I DON'T DOVOLUNTEER WORK. &nbsp OH, THANKS A LOT, BRIAN. &nbsp HOPE I DIDN'T KEEP YOU &nbsp FROM ATTENDING TO MORE IMPOR- TANT THINGS. &nbsp HOWEVER, THE CENTER AND I MAY BE ABLE TO COME TO SOME MORE... &nbsp AMENABLE... AGREEMENT ? &nbsp THERE IS NO WAYWE'RE WORKINGWITH HIM. &nbsp IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. &nbsp I UNDERSTAND YOUR RELUCTANCE TO GET INVOLVED. &nbsp HOWEVER, IF HE'S WILLING TO PUT PAST HOSTILITIES ASIDE, &nbsp I SAY WE SHOULDDO THE SAME. &nbsp JUST WHAT EXACTLY &nbsp IS MR. KINNEY OFFERING TO DO? &nbsp ORGANIZE THE EVENT, BRING IN CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP... &nbsp I SAY WE'REDOING FINEWITHOUT HIM. &nbsp IF YOU CALL SELLING 40 TICKETS "DOING FINE". &nbsp BRIAN'SPUT TOGETHERA PROPOSAL &nbsp TO GIVE THECARNIVAL A BITMORE EDGE. OOPS. &nbsp Tannis:EDGE? &nbsp HE'S ALSO CONTACTED A FEW OF HIS CLIENTS. &nbsp AND THEY'VE AGREED TO SPONSOR THE EVENT, &nbsp AND MATCH ANY FUNDS WE RAISE UP TO $100,000. &nbsp PLEASE EXTEND TO MR. KINNEY &nbsp THE CENTER'SGRATITUDE &nbsp FOR VOLUNTEER- ING HIS TIME AND EFFORT. &nbsp [ Excitedgiggle ] &nbsp WELL, HE'S... &nbsp NOT EXACTLY VOLUNTEERING. &nbsp HE WANTS 20% OFF THE TOP. &nbsp HE EXPECTS USTO PAY HIM? FORFUNDRAISING? &nbsp Tannis:IS HE KIDDING? WELL, HIS FEELING IS, &nbsp "WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE 100% OF NOTHING, &nbsp OR 80% OF MORE THAN YOU EVER FUCKING DREAMED OF?" &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE ONLY ONE... ♪ &nbsp HMMM. &nbsp SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? &nbsp CAN I BUY IT? &nbsp $30,000? &nbsp THAT'S A LOTOF MONEY FORAN OLD CAR. &nbsp IT'S NOT OLD, IT'S A CLASSIC. &nbsp SO HOW DOYOU PLAN ONPAYING FOR IT? &nbsp A LITTLE EXTRA CASH JUST FELL IN MY LAP. &nbsp WELL, THAT'S ASIZEABLE CHUNKOF CHANGE &nbsp FOR BOYFRIENDREPLACEMENTTHERAPY. &nbsp I DON'T HAVEA BOYFRIEND. &nbsp I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.RIGHT. &nbsp THEN IT MUSTBE A MID-LIFECRISIS. &nbsp I'M ONLY 30....1. &nbsp AND SINCE I PLANON BEING DEAD BYTHE TIME I'M 39, &nbsp IT'S ONE ANNOYANCE I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH. &nbsp YEAH. I'LL BESURE TO REMINDYOU OF THAT &nbsp ON YOUR 60thBIRTHDAY. &nbsp COME ON,MIKEY. IF WELEAVE NOW, &nbsp WE CAN BE INNEW YORK BYMIDNIGHT. &nbsp NO FUCKING WAY. &nbsp BEN NEARLYMOVED OUTBECAUSE OF YOU. &nbsp [ Slamming of door ] &nbsp

&nbsp [ Revving of engine ] [ Squealing of tires ] &nbsp Man:JEAN, YOURORDER'S UP. &nbsp Jean: OKAY. &nbsp IS THAT LOOK OF LONGING... &nbsp FOR ME OR THE COCONUT CREAM? &nbsp HUH. NOW WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW? &nbsp [ Chuckle ] WANT THE LAST BITE? &nbsp HELL, NO. &nbsp I'M ALMOST AT THE POINT WHERE I ACTUALLY HAVE A WAIST. &nbsp OR HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED? &nbsp OH, I'VE NOTICED. &nbsp AND? &nbsp AND IT'S LOOKIN' GOOD. &nbsp REAL GOOD. &nbsp Man:COME ON, DEB, &nbsp [ Ringing of service bell ] &nbsp UM... &nbsp ORDER'S UP. &nbsp UH, SEE YOU FRIDAY?YEAH. &nbsp I'LL RESERVE A LANE. WHAT DO YOU SAY... &nbsp WE SKIP THE BOWLING THIS WEEK? &nbsp MAYBE HAVE A LITTLE DINNER? &nbsp FRIDAY IS, UH, THREE GRAMS OF FISH &nbsp AND FOUR OUNCESOF STEAMED KALE. &nbsp MMM! MY FAVOURITE. &nbsp [ Chuckling ] &nbsp AFTERWARDS WE CAN WATCH TV. &nbsp YEAH, WELL THE... THE, UH... &nbsp THE SET DOWNSTAIRS IS STILL ON THE FRITZ. &nbsp THE ONLY ONETHAT'S WORKING &nbsp IS THE ONE IN MY BEDROOM. &nbsp I KNOW. &nbsp Both: [ Chuckling ] &nbsp Debbie:THERE YOU GO. OOH, FOOD. &nbsp SO, DEB... &nbsp WHAT'S IT LIKE, DOING IT WITH A COP? &nbsp Emmett: [ Chuckle ] DOES HE... &nbsp CONDUCT A STRIP SEARCH? &nbsp HANDCUFF YOU TO THE BED? &nbsp WORK YOU OVER TILL YOU SING? &nbsp DO YOU KNOW WHAT M.Y.O.B. STANDS FOR? &nbsp MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. &nbsp SHOULDN'TTHERE BE AN'F' IN THERE? &nbsp HMM. &nbsp Debbie:HI, I'LLBE RIGHTWITH YOU... &nbsp [ Snapping of fingers ] &nbsp I HAVE A PROPOSITION. &nbsp A BUSINESS PROPOSITION. &nbsp WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?A POSTER. &nbsp SOMETHING HOTAND BRILLIANT, &nbsp AND SOMETHINGBY... TOMORROW? &nbsp [ Sighing ] &nbsp I WOULDN'TASK YOU IF IDIDN'T THINKYOU COULD DO IT. &nbsp OR IF YOU WEREN'T DESPERATE. &nbsp YEAH, THAT TOO. &nbsp WHAT'S IT FOR? &nbsp IT'S FOR THECENTER CARNIVAL. &nbsp YOU FUCKING HATE THE CENTER. &nbsp NOT WHENTHEY'REPAYING ME. &nbsp SO, HOW MUCHDO YOU WANT? &nbsp IT'S FOR A GOODCAUSE, SO IT'S FREE. &nbsp CHRIST, DIDN'TI TEACH YOUANYTHING? &nbsp 500. &nbsp 200.500. &nbsp TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. &nbsp I LIKE THE WAYYOU DO BUSINESS. &nbsp UH... YOU HAD THE PROCEDURE? &nbsp LIKE YOU SAID, IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. &nbsp HE DID IT IN THE OFFICE, &nbsp ZAPPED ME WITH A LASER,A COUPLE OF STITCHES... &nbsp BUT YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME, I WOULD'VE COME. &nbsp IT WAS SOMETHINGI HAD TO DO ONMY OWN. LIKE... &nbsp BUNGEE-JUMPING. &nbsp I HOPE THAT'S NOT NEXT.[ Nervous chuckle ] &nbsp I MEAN, FACE MYFEARS HEAD-ON, &nbsp AND HOPE I DON'TLAND SPLAT! &nbsp AND DID YOULAND... SPLAT? &nbsp EVERYTHING'S FINE. &nbsp HE SAID I CAN GET PREGNANT RIGHT AWAY. &nbsp OH. MEL. &nbsp AH-H.MMM. &nbsp OH... &nbsp I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I- I WAS... &nbsp I WAS JUST USING IT AS AN EXCUSE. &nbsp IT DOESN'TMATTER. IT MATTERS A LOT. &nbsp BECAUSE I WANT TO BE THE ONE &nbsp TO CARRY OURNEXT CHILD. &nbsp ARE YOU SURE? &nbsp SO WE COULDHAVE A LITTLEMELANIE? &nbsp OR MELVIN.BY NEXTCHRISTMAS? &nbsp CHANUKAH.AH! &nbsp AH. NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS PICK A DONOR. &nbsp I... THOUGHTWE ALREADYHAD ONE. &nbsp THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY &nbsp BRIAN KINNEY'S FUCKING SPERM ARE DOING THE BREASTSTROKE &nbsp UP MY FALLOPIAN TUBE. &nbsp THEY DO THEAUSTRALIAN CRAWL. &nbsp I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. &nbsp WELL, &nbsp NOT AFTER ALL THE GRIEF HE'S CAUSED US. &nbsp UH, WE ARE NOT MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE. &nbsp I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY HOW YOU FEEL. &nbsp BUT WHAT IFSOMETHING WERETO HAPPEN TO US? &nbsp A FATALACCIDENT.BUNGEE-JUMPING? &nbsp I'M SERIOUS. AT LEAST OUR KIDS WOULD HAVE THE SAME FATHER. &nbsp OH, SOME FATHER. &nbsp SELFISH, PROMISCUOUS. &nbsp AND WHO KNOWS IF HE'S EVEN NEGATIVE? &nbsp WELL, WHOEVER IT ISWOULD HAVE TO BE TESTED. &nbsp BUT THINKHOW GOOD HE'SBEEN TO US,AND TO GUS. &nbsp ALWAYS THERE TOWRITE A CHEQUE, &nbsp PUT UP A SWINGSET, AND SAVEOUR WEDDINGFROM DISASTER. &nbsp HONESTLY,MEL, HE'S NOTTHE OLD BRIAN. &nbsp HE'S CHANGED. &nbsp AND BOTTOM LINE... &nbsp WITHOUT HIM, OUR KIDS WOULDN'T BE RELATED. &nbsp

&nbsp [ Grunt of effort ] &nbsp

&nbsp WHO'S THE HOTTIE? &nbsp MY BOYFRIEND. &nbsp THE OTHER HOTTIE. &nbsp OOH, LOOKS LIKE TARZAN. &nbsp AND HE SOUNDS LIKE JANE. &nbsp I'D WARBLE LIKEA COLORATURA &nbsp IF I HAD PECS LIKE HIS. &nbsp WELL, SHOOT YOURSELF UP WITH JUNGLE JUICE AND YOU CAN. &nbsp WHAT, STEROIDS? &nbsp YEAH, I'M SURPRISEDHIS LIVER HASN'T FALLENOUT OF HIS ASSHOLE. &nbsp Debbie: NOT TO MENTION MOOD SWINGS &nbsp AND HIS BALLS SHRINKING UP TO THE SIZE OF TWO M&M PEANUTS. &nbsp [ Giggle ] &nbsp MOM, WHAT AREYOU DOING HERE? &nbsp SAME THING YOU ARE. &nbsp CRUISING FORA BLOW-JOB? &nbsp JESUS, MA, YOUALREADY GO TOTHE SAME BARS &nbsp AND THE SAMECLUBS I DO. &nbsp NOW YOU GOTTACOME TO THESAME GYM? &nbsp CAN'T I HAVEONE PLACEIN THE WORLDTHAT'S MY OWN? &nbsp SO YOU WANNA BEWORKOUT BUDDIES? &nbsp

&nbsp LOOKING GOOD, GIRL! &nbsp BET YOURPRIVATE DICK &nbsp THINKS SO TOO. &nbsp I TOLD YOU, &nbsp I HAVE NO INTENTION &nbsp OF TURNING THE MOST INTIMATE DETAILS &nbsp OF MY PERSONAL LIFE INTO GYM GOSSIP, &nbsp LIKE YOU GAY GUYS. &nbsp IN OTHER WORDS,YOU HAVEN'TDONE IT YET. &nbsp WELL, IT ISN'T BECAUSE HE ISN'T INTERESTED. &nbsp IT'S JUSTBEEN A WHILESINCE I... &nbsp I "WORKED OUT". &nbsp I WOULDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT HIM. &nbsp WELL, &nbsp IF ANYONE KNOWSHOW TO PLEASEHIS MAN, &nbsp IT'S EM. &nbsp OH... HUSH! &nbsp HONEY, ALL YOU NEED &nbsp IS A LITTLE REFRESHER COURSE. &nbsp AND WHO BETTER TO INSTRUCT YOU &nbsp THAN PROFESSORS HONEYCUTT AND SCHMIDT? &nbsp DOCTORS OFDICKOLOGY. &nbsp [ Chuckling ] &nbsp SHE'S NOT IN HERE, IS SHE? &nbsp WHO? MY MOTHER. &nbsp IT'S THE MEN'SLOCKER ROOM. &nbsp YOU THINK THAT'LL STOP HER? &nbsp Man: A FULL HOUR ON THE PRECOR, &nbsp AND ALL I DROPPED WAS A POUND. &nbsp GOTTA CUTBACK ONTHAT PIZZA. &nbsp HEY, BEN. &nbsp HEY, JASON. HOW'S IT GOING?GOOD. &nbsp Man: REMEMBER THOSE 5 MINUTES IN THE '90s &nbsp WHEN EVERYBODY WANTED TO PUT ON WEIGHT &nbsp BECAUSE IT MEANT YOU WEREN'T DYING? &nbsp DIDN'T DOPAUL ANY GOOD. &nbsp AT LEAST WEDON'T HAVE TOGO BACK TO THATGODDAMN HOSPICE. &nbsp TALK ABOUT DEPRESSING. &nbsp SORRY, WHAT WASTHAT ABOUT PAUL? &nbsp OH, DIDN'T YOU HEAR? UH... &nbsp HE DIED LAST NIGHT. &nbsp Ethan: ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE THERE. &nbsp EVEN IF IT MEANS &nbsp INCURRINGISHIGURA'S WRATH &nbsp FOR NOT PRACTICINGMY BARTOK. &nbsp I DON'T KNOW, I'LL ASK HIM. &nbsp HEY, JUS, MY FRIEND COLLIER WANTS TO KNOW &nbsp IF MY IMAGINARY LOVER WILL BE ACCOMPANYING ME TO HIS SOIREE. &nbsp TELL HIM IWOULD SOONEREAT SHIT AND DIE. &nbsp HE SAYS HE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU. &nbsp ALL RIGHT.I'LL TALK TOYOU LATER. &nbsp NOW, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ANTI-SOCIAL? &nbsp I'M NOTANTI-SOCIAL. &nbsp I JUST... CAN'TSTAND PEOPLE. [ Chuckling ] &nbsp COME ON, YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME. &nbsp UH... CHATTINGINANELY ABOUTINDEPENDENT FILM, &nbsp WITH A ROOMFULOF STRANGERS? &nbsp OH MY GOD, YOU'RE A BIGGER FUCKING SNOB THAN I AM. &nbsp [ Loud kiss ] MUST BE WHY I LOVE YOU. &nbsp WHAT'S THIS? &nbsp Justin: IT'S A POSTER I'M WORKING ON &nbsp FOR A CHARITY EVENT. &nbsp I WISH SOMEBODY WOULD THROW A BENEFIT FOR US. &nbsp ACTUALLY, I'MGETTING PAID. &nbsp LIKE... ASIN, DOLLARS? &nbsp AS IN, 500OF THEM. &nbsp NO SHIT! HOW DID YOU SWING THAT? &nbsp SOMEONE I KNOW. &nbsp HUH! SOMEONE YOU KNOW...SOMEONE WE BOTH KNOW? &nbsp UH, HE NEEDEDAN ARTIST. &nbsp AND EVEN THOUGH HE WORKS WITH DOZENS OF THEM &nbsp ALL DAY LONG IN HIS OFFICE, &nbsp HE MIRACULOUSLY THOUGHT OF YOU. &nbsp MAYBE HETHOUGHTI WAS... &nbsp BEST QUALIFIEDFOR THE JOB. &nbsp OR MAYBE HE'S JUST TRYING TO WIN YOU BACK. &nbsp HE CAN TRYALL HE WANTS. &nbsp WHAT MAKESYOU THINK IWOULD EVER GO? &nbsp OH, I DON'T KNOW. HE'S RICH, GORGEOUS, &nbsp HE CAN MAKE CASH MAGICALLY APPEAR... &nbsp FUCK THEMONEY. &nbsp FUCK HIM. &nbsp I WANT TOBE WITH YOU. &nbsp PROVE IT. &nbsp UH-H... &nbsp I'M NOT GOINGTO PROVE IT. &nbsp COME ON. &nbsp OH-H... &nbsp "HOW DO I LOVETHEE? LET ME COUNTTHE WAYS..." &nbsp OH, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. &nbsp [ Yelp ] &nbsp [ Chuckling ] &nbsp [ Gasp ] &nbsp ♪ ...EXTREMES OF LOVE ♪ &nbsp ♪ I'M GONNA GET MYSELF SOME... ♪ &nbsp [ Moaning/sighing ] &nbsp

&nbsp AH... AH... AH-H-H. &nbsp

&nbsp YEAH. YEAH. &nbsp NO, &nbsp THIS ONE'S ON ME. &nbsp UH-OH. &nbsp SO WHAT DO YOUWANT THIS TIME? &nbsp WE'VE DECIDED TO GIVE GUS A SIBLING. &nbsp HEY! HEY! &nbsp AND JUST WHEN YOU STARTED TO GET YOUR SHAPE BACK? &nbsp MMM... OH,FUCK YOU. &nbsp WELL, LUCKILY I HAVEN'T SHOT A LOAD IN TWO HOURS. &nbsp AH... &nbsp [ Unzipping of fly ] &nbsp THIS WILL JUST TAKE A SECOND. &nbsp OH, NOT NOW! &nbsp WELL, WHEN DO YOU WANT IT? &nbsp I DON'T. &nbsp Melanie:THERE'S BEENA SLIGHT CHANGEOF PLANS. &nbsp I'M GOING TO BETHE ONE TO CARRYOUR NEXT CHILD. &nbsp [ Scoffing laugh ] &nbsp YOU? &nbsp I THOUGHT YOU WERE BARREN. &nbsp I WASN'T BARREN. &nbsp I HADENDOMETRIOSIS. &nbsp BUT SHE'S CURED. &nbsp PRAISE THE LORD. &nbsp SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY? &nbsp IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. &nbsp HUH, MELANIE'S ONE OF THE LEADING CAUSES &nbsp OF ERECTILEDYSFUNCTION. &nbsp THANK YOU. &nbsp BESIDES, I AGREED TO INSEMINATE YOU, &nbsp NOT YOURHUSBAND. &nbsp BUT IF WE GETSOMEONE ELSE, &nbsp OUR KIDS WON'TBE RELATED. &nbsp HAVE YOU EVER MET MY SISTER? &nbsp THAT'S NOT MUCH OF AN ARGUMENT. &nbsp WE HAD A DEAL. &nbsp YOU'RE THE ONES THAT CHANGED THE TERMS. &nbsp ME AND MELANIE, MOM AND POP... &nbsp AH-H-H... &nbsp I'D SAY THATWENT WELL. &nbsp Debbie: JESUS CHRIST! &nbsp DO YOU REALIZEPEOPLE EAT HERE? &nbsp THEY'RE ALLFRESH AND NEW. &nbsp HAND PICKED FROMTHE PLEASUREBOUTIQUE. &nbsp [ Sniffing ]MMMM. &nbsp I JUST WANT TO SLEEP WITH THE GUY, NOT... &nbsp DRILL FOR OIL. &nbsp WELL, THAT'S WHY WE BROUGHT THESE, &nbsp TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL. &nbsp WHICH WOULD YOUSAY MOST RESEMBLESDETECTIVE HORVATH? &nbsp HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW? &nbsp I'VE ONLY KISSED HIM. &nbsp NOW PUT THOSE THINGS AWAY. &nbsp NOT SO FAST. &nbsp NOW, YOU ASKED FOR OUR HELP, &nbsp AND THAT'S WHY WE'VE COME: &nbsp TO TEACH YOU.THE ART... &nbsp OF ORAL SEX. &nbsp WE'RE GOING TO SHARE WITH YOU SECRETS &nbsp KNOWN HERETOFOREONLY TO GAY MEN. &nbsp TECHNIQUESPASSED DOWN FROMGENERATION TOGENERATION &nbsp SINCE TIMEIMMEMORIAL. &nbsp ONCE YOU'VE PASSED THE COURSE, &nbsp WE GUARANTEEHORVATH WILLFOREVERREGARD YOU &nbsp AS HIS GODDESS, HIS QUEEN. &nbsp CLEOPATRA, &nbsp SCHEHERAZADE... &nbsp REESE WITHERSPOON. &nbsp [ Sigh ] &nbsp NOW, SHALL WE BEGIN? &nbsp ALL RIGHT.[ Clearingof throat ] &nbsp LET US RELAXTHE JAW. &nbsp ROTATING IT FIRST CLOCKWISE... &nbsp UH-HUH... &nbsp THEN COUNTER- CLOCKWISE... &nbsp UH-HUH...YEAH. GOOD. &nbsp NOW WAGTHE TONGUE. &nbsp ALALALA, &nbsp ALALALALA.... &nbsp YEAH, THAT'S THE WAY. &nbsp NEXT, GRASP THE SHAFT FIRMLY &nbsp WITH OUR RIGHT HAND, &nbsp LEFT IF WE'RE A SOUTHPAW; &nbsp CREATING AVELVET VISE. &nbsp MMMM. &nbsp NOW OPEN WIDE, &nbsp BEING SURE TOCOVER THE TEETH, &nbsp ALLOWING FOR A SMOOTHAND UNOBSTRUCTED ENTRY. &nbsp COMME cÇA... [ Inhaling ] &nbsp BOYS, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. &nbsp I JUST NEED TO ASK ONE QUESTION. &nbsp IF IT'S ABOUT SUPPRESSING THE GAG REFLEX, &nbsp W-WE'RE GET- TING TO THAT. &nbsp ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS? &nbsp THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA... DO THIS. &nbsp THERE ARE PARTIES IN BEVERLY HILLS &nbsp WHERE HOUSEWIVESPAY 1,000BUCKS A HEAD... &nbsp SO TO SPEAK. TO LEARN WHAT WE'RE TEACHING YOU, &nbsp FOR FREE. &nbsp DEBBIE, &nbsp YOU WANT TO MAKEHORVATH HAPPY,DON'T YOU? &nbsp SURE I DO. &nbsp AND EVEN HAVE A GOOD TIME YOURSELF? &nbsp SO WHAT'S THEHARM IN LEARNING &nbsp HOW TO DO IT THE RIGHT WAY? &nbsp [ Sighing ] &nbsp ONE,ONE, &nbsp TWO... TWO... &nbsp All: [ Inhaling ] &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp IT'S CHILLYOUT HERE. IDIDN'T WANTYOU TO GET S... &nbsp THANK YOU. &nbsp I AM ALL RIGHT. &nbsp [ Grunting ] &nbsp I'M SORRY. &nbsp FOR WHAT? &nbsp FOR PAUL. FOR YOU. &nbsp I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE SO SOON. &nbsp IF I'D KNOWN, I WOULD'VE... &nbsp GONE TO SEE HIM MORE OFTEN. &nbsp YOU WERE BUSY. &nbsp YEAH, RIGHT. &nbsp THAT'S ALWAYS AGOOD EXCUSE, NOTTO VISIT SOMEONE &nbsp YOU ONCE SHARED YOUR LIFE WITH, YOUR BED... &nbsp I'M SURE HEUNDERSTOOD. &nbsp AND FORGAVE YOUTHE SAME WAYYOU FORGAVE HIM. &nbsp THEN WHY AMI SO GODDAMNANGRY AT HIMRIGHT NOW? &nbsp FOR GETTING IT, FOR GIVING IT TO ME... &nbsp AND THEN NOT EVEN BOTHERING &nbsp TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF, OR WATCH WHAT HE ATE. &nbsp I WOULD TELL HIM, "NUTRITION IS ESSENTIAL. &nbsp AND EXERCISE. YOU'VE GOT TO EXERCISE, PAUL, &nbsp BUILD UP YOUR MUSCLE MASS." &nbsp BUT IT WAS AS IF ONCE HE KNEW HE HAD IT... &nbsp HE FIGURED, "I'M GOING TO DIE ANYWAY, &nbsp SO WHAT THE HELL DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?" &nbsp LUCKILY, YOU'RENOT LIKE THAT. &nbsp RIGHT. &nbsp YOU DO EVERY-THING YOU'RESUPPOSED TO DO. &nbsp EVERYTHING YOUCAN POSSIBLY DO. AND IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, &nbsp I STILL ENDED UPIN THE HOSPITAL. &nbsp MAYBE HE'S RIGHT... &nbsp MAYBE IT DOESN'T MATTER. &nbsp IT DOES MATTER. &nbsp AND MOST IMPORTANTIS YOU HAVE TOBELIEVE IT DOES. &nbsp MORE COD? &nbsp OH... THREE GRAMS, I'M STUFFED. &nbsp Both: [ Chuckling ] &nbsp WELL, THERE'SFRUIT FORDESSERT. &nbsp I KNOW IT'SNOT EXACTLYEXCITING BUT... &nbsp WITH YOU IN THE ROOM, WHAT COULD BE? &nbsp I'LL GETTHE FRUIT. &nbsp FORGET THE FRUIT. &nbsp OH...I'VE GOT ABETTER IDEA. &nbsp I'M TOOHEAVY, YOU... &nbsp YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. &nbsp CARL... &nbsp I HAVE ACONFESSIONTO MAKE. &nbsp I'M A LITTLENERVOUS. &nbsp ABOUT WHAT? &nbsp ABOUT THIS. &nbsp I WANT TOBE WITH YOU. &nbsp IT'S JUST THATIT'S BEEN ALONG TIME. &nbsp HOW LONG? &nbsp LAST CENTURY. &nbsp WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. &nbsp I PROMISE TO BE GENTLE, GUIDE YOU THROUGH IT... &nbsp MAYBE EVEN TEACH YOU A FEW THINGS. &nbsp THE EXPRESSION ON HISFACE NEEDS TO BE MORE... &nbsp ENTICING. &nbsp BUT... MORE FOREBODING. &nbsp "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK, PREPARE TO BE FUCKED". &nbsp THINK I CAN MANAGE THAT. &nbsp YOU COULD PROBABLY GET A BETTER VIEW IF YOU STOOD A LITTLE CLOSER. &nbsp AND HIS HIPS NEED TO BE MORE IN PROFILE &nbsp TO ACCENTUATE HIS COCK. &nbsp HUH... &nbsp IT'S ALWAYSABOUT SEX. &nbsp UNLESS IT'SABOUT DEATH.BUT... &nbsp DEATH DOESN'T SELL TICKETS. &nbsp [ Sliding of door ] &nbsp I PICKED UP CHINESE FOOD. &nbsp I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS FOR THREE. &nbsp I WAS JUST GOING. &nbsp WE'RE DONE,RIGHT? &nbsp HEY. HEY. &nbsp SO GLAD YOUBOYS KISSEDAND MADE UP. &nbsp [ Sliding of door ] &nbsp HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU? &nbsp IT'S ON ME. &nbsp WELL INTHAT CASE... &nbsp ALLOW ME TO... &nbsp SUPPLY... &nbsp THE HORS D'OEUVRES. &nbsp

&nbsp Michael: [ Giggling ] &nbsp

&nbsp DO YOU SEEONE DROPPING? &nbsp [ Helpless laughter ] &nbsp TONY FACELLI. REMEMBER... &nbsp HE WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT US HOW TO LIGHT OUR FARTS? &nbsp AND HIS PANTSCAUGHT ON FIRE. &nbsp HE... HE, UH... HE... &nbsp HE DIED INTHAT CAR WRECK. &nbsp [ Snort ][ Chuckle ] &nbsp UH, LINDA ZLUTSKY. &nbsp ZLUTSKY THESLUTSKY? &nbsp SHE GOT EXPELLEDFOR GIVINGMR. DORF, &nbsp THE... THE MATHTEACHER, HEAD. &nbsp SHE BECAME ALAP DANCER INSCRANTON. &nbsp [ Laughing ] &nbsp WHICH JUSTGOES TO SHOW, &nbsp "ALL LIFE ISA LESSON." &nbsp THAT'S WHAT BEN ALWAYS SAYS. &nbsp HIS, UH...[ Clearingof throat ] &nbsp HIS EX, PAUL,THE ONE WHOINFECTED HIM... &nbsp DIED. &nbsp WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD. &nbsp YOU HAVE TO BE NUTS, &nbsp OR A SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT, &nbsp TO WANT TO BRING A... A CHILD INTO IT. &nbsp [ Snorting ]YOU DID. &nbsp YEAH, LINDSAY CONVINCED ME ONE NIGHT WHEN I WAS TRIPPING. &nbsp [ Chuckling ] &nbsp HUH. UH... &nbsp BUT I'MSURE AS HELLNOT DOING IT &nbsp FOR SMELLY MELLY. &nbsp THEY CAN GO TO A SPERM BANK. &nbsp OR SCRAPE ITOFF THE FLOOR &nbsp IN THE BACKROOMAT BABYLON. &nbsp [ Sniff ] &nbsp J... JUST GIVE ME ONE VALID REASON &nbsp WHY ANY QUEER INHIS RIGHT MIND &nbsp WOULD WANT TO BRING A KID INTO THIS WORLD. &nbsp UM... &nbsp CAN'T THINK OF ONE, CAN YOU? &nbsp WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT, HOLD ON. &nbsp [ Gurgling of water ] &nbsp

&nbsp TO PISS OFF STRAIGHT PEOPLE! &nbsp [ Panting ] &nbsp YOU'RE NOT DISAPPOINTED, ARE YOU? &nbsp DISAPPOINTED? &nbsp OH-H-H... &nbsp MORE LIKE AMAZED. &nbsp REALLY? &nbsp ESPECIALLYAFTER, UH... &nbsp ALL THAT LIPSERVICE ABOUTHOW NERVOUSYOU WERE. &nbsp AH-H-H. WHAT'S THAT MEAN? &nbsp AH... &nbsp NOTHING. &nbsp DON'T GIVE ME "NOTHING" &nbsp AFTER A REMARK LIKE THAT. &nbsp LET'S JUSTSAY THAT... &nbsp NO ONE COULD DOWHAT YOU JUSTDID WITHOUT ALITTLE PRACTICE. &nbsp AND FROM THE WAYTHAT YOU, UH... &nbsp YOU KNOW... &nbsp LADY... &nbsp YOU COULDTEACH A CLASS. &nbsp IS THAT SO? &nbsp IN FACT, I HEARDIN BEVERLY HILLS &nbsp THEY CHARGE$1,000 FOR IT. &nbsp HORVATH, I WAS TELL- ING YOU THE TRUTH. &nbsp THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS THAT I... &nbsp YEAH, SURE.WHATEVER. &nbsp YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? &nbsp WELL, THAT'S JUST TOO FUCKING BAD. &nbsp NOW YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR SUSPICIONS &nbsp AND YOUR SUSPENDERS, AND, AND.... &nbsp AND REMOVE YOUR BUTT FROM MY BED! &nbsp DEBBIE... &nbsp NOW, OUT! &nbsp GET OUT! &nbsp HERE'SYOUR FEE. &nbsp PLUS $100 BONUSFOR FINISHINGON TIME. THANKS. &nbsp AND HERE'STWO TICKETSFOR TONIGHT. &nbsp ONE FOR YOU,AND ONE FOR IAN. &nbsp OH. UM... &nbsp I WAS JUST ADMIRING &nbsp YOUR BOYFRIEND'SLATEST CREATION. &nbsp AN ARTIST ALWAYSDOES HIS BEST WORK &nbsp WHEN HE HAS SOMEBODY HELOVES TO INSPIRE HIM. &nbsp HUH. YEAH. SOI'VE BEEN TOLD. &nbsp WE SHOULD GO. &nbsp SEE YOU TONIGHT. &nbsp OH, BRIAN GAVE US TICKETS &nbsp TO THECENTER CARNIVAL. &nbsp OH, I'M SUREIT'LL BE ABLAST, BUT... &nbsp WE'VE ALREADY GOT PLANS. &nbsp OH. WELL, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MINDS, &nbsp YOUR NAMES'LLBE ON THE LIST. &nbsp SO, HOW YOU DOING? &nbsp OH, UM...WHY AREN'TYOU IN CLASS? &nbsp Justin: I THOUGHT YOU HAD A CLASS... &nbsp Man:ORDER'S UP ONTABLE FOUR. &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp SPECIAL TODAY IS THE DICK OF DEATH. &nbsp FOOT-LONG HOT DOG, CREAMY COLE SLAW ON THE SIDE. &nbsp DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT IT. &nbsp Together: TWO SPECIALS. &nbsp Emmett:WAIT, WAIT,WAIT! &nbsp SO, HOW WAS IT? &nbsp YEAH, SHOULD YOUR PROFESSORS GIVE YOU AN "A"? &nbsp YEAH. FOR "ASSHOLE". &nbsp 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I AM FOR LISTENING TO YOU. &nbsp WHAT, HE WASN'T PLEASED? &nbsp IMPOSSIBLE! &nbsp I DEFY ANY MALE,LIVING OR DEAD, &nbsp NOT TO RESPONDTO OUR TIME-TESTED TECHNIQUE. &nbsp Emmett:PROVIDEDYOU FOLLOWED &nbsp OUR INSTRUCTIONS. &nbsp OH, I FOLLOWED 'EM. &nbsp HE RESPONDED TO EVERY FLICK AND LICK. &nbsp AND SO, WHAT'STHE PROBLEM? &nbsp THE PROBLEMIS HE THINKSI'M A WHORE. &nbsp I'M SO PROUD! &nbsp WELL, I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. &nbsp [ Ringing of bell ] &nbsp OOH, WHAT ABOUT 873? &nbsp 6'2, BLUE EYES, &nbsp AND A MENSA! &nbsp IS THAT WHATYOU REALLY WANT? &nbsp TO GIVE BIRTH TO A LITTLE 873 AND 1/2? &nbsp Brian: GOT CREAM. &nbsp AH... UMMM. &nbsp IT WAS MILKED FRESH THIS MORNING. &nbsp I SHOULD KNOW. I MILKED IT MYSELF. &nbsp UH, UH. THAT'S DISGUSTING. &nbsp THAT'S REALLYDISGUSTING. &nbsp YO, BITCHES, I'M OFFERING TO LEND A HAND. &nbsp WOULD YOU BEAT IT? &nbsp THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN OFFERING TO DO. &nbsp WAIT. DO YOUREALLY MEAN IT? &nbsp YEAH. IF IT'S A BOY, YOU CAN NAME HIM BRIAN JUNIOR. &nbsp AND IF IT'S A GIRL? &nbsp CHARITY. IN HONOUR OF MY DONATION. &nbsp NOW LET'S GO PISS OFF SOME HETEROSEXUALS. &nbsp HMM. &nbsp

&nbsp [ Panting ] &nbsp [ Groan of effort ] &nbsp

&nbsp [ Grunts of effort ] &nbsp

&nbsp Ben: HEY, ROY. &nbsp HOW YOU DOING? LISTEN, I WAS, UH... &nbsp I WAS WONDER- ING, COULD YOU, UH, &nbsp GIVE ME SOMEHELP, MAN? &nbsp YOU WANT METO SPOT YOU? UH... &nbsp ACTUALLY, IT'S GOT MORE TO DO WITH, UH, NUTRITION. &nbsp UH, SUPPLEMENTS... &nbsp IF YOU KNOWWHAT I MEAN. &nbsp YEAH. COME ON. &nbsp

&nbsp [ Office hubbub ] &nbsp [ Indistinct bickering ] &nbsp ...HE ARRESTEDME, THAT'S WHY. &nbsp HE LIKES YOUTHOUGH. HE THINKSYOU'RE FUNNY. &nbsp UM... E-EXCUSE US, DETECTIVE HORVATH? &nbsp [ Clearingof throat ] &nbsp WHAT, UH,CAN I DO FORYOU BOYS? &nbsp UH... A DEARFRIEND OF OURS &nbsp IS IN A LITTLEBIT OF...OF TROUBLE. &nbsp UH, SEEMS LAST NIGHT, &nbsp AN, UH... ORAL... &nbsp MISDEMEANOUR... OCCURRED. &nbsp DON'T YOU HAVESOME WORK TO DO? &nbsp WHAT THE HELL'SALL THIS ABOUT? &nbsp LOOK, DEBBIETOLD US THATYOU HAD SEX. &nbsp OR... SOMEHETEROSEXUALPERMUTATIONTHEREOF. &nbsp JESUS H. CHRIST. &nbsp WHY DOESN'TSHE RENT ABILLBOARD? &nbsp WHAT WE DO INBED IS NONE OFYOUR BUSINESS. &nbsp Emmett: ACTUALLY, IT IS. &nbsp SEE, UM, DEBBIEWAS WORRIED &nbsp THAT SHE WOULDN'T LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. &nbsp Ted: THAT SHE'D LET YOU DOWN. &nbsp SO, WE GAVE HER A CRASH COURSE. &nbsp Emmett:"INTRODUCTION TOFELLATIO 101." &nbsp EMMETT'S ONE OF THE WORLD'S FOREMOST AUTHORITIES. &nbsp AW, THANKS.AH, ANYWAY, UM, &nbsp YOUNG DEBORAH PASSED WITH HONOURS. &nbsp MAGNA CUM LOUDLY. &nbsp Emmett:IN FACT, SHEDID SO WELL,YOU, UH... &nbsp UH, APPARENTLY... AND MISGUIDEDLY... &nbsp THINK SHE'S A SLUT. &nbsp THE... THE TRUTHIS, DETECTIVE, &nbsp WE'RE THE SLUTS. &nbsp SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. &nbsp AH, LOOK. &nbsp UNDERNEATH ALL THAT DIRTY TALK AND BRAVADO, &nbsp YOU KNOW, DEBBIEIS JUST AN OLD-FASHIONED GIRL &nbsp WHOSE ONLYCRIME WAS... &nbsp WANTING TO PLEASE HER MAN. &nbsp OH, HONEY. &nbsp Man 1:RUMOUR HAS IT ACERTAIN FINALIST &nbsp IS OUT OF THE COMPETITION. &nbsp OH, POOR MARTA. &nbsp SHE'S AN ASTON- ISHING TALENT, BUT TERRIFIED TO PERFORM. &nbsp Man 2: AND THIS WILL BE THE TREE IN THE FOREST &nbsp THAT NOBODY HEARS. &nbsp AND THENTHERE'SGIORGIO. &nbsp MEDIOCREMUSICIANAT BEST. &nbsp YEAH, BUT YOUPUT HIM IN FRONTOF AN AUDIENCE, &nbsp HE KNOCKS 'EM DEAD. &nbsp Man 1: NEW YORK ISN'T PITTSBURGH. &nbsp THEY WON'TBE SO EASILYFOOLED. &nbsp YOU, MY DEAR,HAVE NOTHINGTO WORRY ABOUT. &nbsp HM-HM. &nbsp [ Party chatter/laughter] &nbsp HAVING FUN? &nbsp YEAH, IT'S GREAT. &nbsp LIAR. &nbsp NO, YOURFRIENDS AREREALLY SMARTAND FUNNY. &nbsp I GUESS I'M JUST NERVOUS, THAT'S ALL. &nbsp AH, DON'T BE. &nbsp YOU'REWITH ME. &nbsp Man 2:SO THIS ISTHE IMAGINARYBOYFRIEND. &nbsp ETHAN TELLSME YOU'REAN ARTIST. &nbsp YEP. THAT'S RIGHT. &nbsp WHAT KINDOF STUFFDO YOU DO? &nbsp UH, LATELY, I'VE BEEN MANIPULATING CLASSICAL FORM &nbsp WITH DIGITAL IMAGERY. &nbsp THEN YOU'RENOT JUST APRETTY FACE. &nbsp NO. &nbsp I GOT A PRETTY BIG COCK AS WELL. &nbsp AND I GIVE ONE HELL OF A BLOW-JOB. &nbsp RIGHT, ETHAN? &nbsp UH... &nbsp Man: [ Shouting ] ...RING AROUND THE DILDO. &nbsp OH MY GOD! &nbsp WELCOME TO CARNIVALE! &nbsp

&nbsp START WITH "BUTTHOLE BINGO". &nbsp BOWL-A-RAMA! &nbsp

&nbsp [ Mixed chatter/shouts ] &nbsp ANY COLOUR,ANY SIZE. &nbsp Bingo caller: I-34. &nbsp OOH, AHH! &nbsp Game announcer: AND AT CENTRE STAGE, &nbsp THE GRINDER! &nbsp All: OOH! &nbsp [ Excited shouts/ laughter ] &nbsp Bingo caller: O-75. &nbsp

&nbsp Various: OH MY GOD. OH, WOW. &nbsp Game announcer:COME ON, EVERY-ONE, STEP UP. &nbsp COME ON. IT'S "BUTTHOLE BINGO." &nbsp

&nbsp [ Popping of ball ] &nbsp All:OH! EUW! &nbsp B-13. &nbsp

&nbsp OVER 800 HAPPY, SATISFIED CUSTOMERS, &nbsp AND A LINE AROUND THEBLOCK WAITING TO GET IN. &nbsp JESUS,BRIAN... &nbsp WHAT IS ALL THIS? &nbsp [ Popping of ball ] &nbsp Bingo caller: I-19. &nbsp THIS IS "BUTTHOLE BINGO". &nbsp AND THAT ISONE REMARKABLY &nbsp GIFTED YOUNG MAN. &nbsp THIS WASN'T IN THE PROPOSAL YOU SUBMITTED. &nbsp YEAH, I TOOK A FEW LIBERTIES. &nbsp WE'RE SUPPOSEDTO REPRESENTA POSITIVEGAY IMAGE. &nbsp WHAT KIND OFMESSAGE DO YOUTHINK WE'RESENDING HERE? &nbsp THAT ALL MEN ARECREATED HORNY,AND IT'S... &nbsp IT'S OKAY TO HAVE A LITTLE DOWN-AND-DIRTY FUN. &nbsp YOU'VE REALLY GONE TOO FAR. &nbsp YEAH, WELL IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION TO YOU, &nbsp YOU'LL BE MAKING 10,000OUT OF HIS ASS ALONE. &nbsp [ Popping of ball ] [ Yelps of disgust ] &nbsp Bingo caller: O-69. &nbsp Ethan: "VANTS ME TO MAKE &nbsp ZE SUBSIDIARY SUBJECT &nbsp ZING, ETHAN, ZING!" &nbsp [ Chuckles ] &nbsp HEY. YEAH. &nbsp I'M GOINGTO TAKE OFF. WHAT, ALREADY? &nbsp YEAH, I'M BEAT. &nbsp ALL RIGHT,I'LL GO WITHYOU. UM... &nbsp NO, YOU... YOUCAN STAY HERE. &nbsp I'LL SEEYOU AT HOME. &nbsp YOU SURE?MM-HM. &nbsp OKAY. LOVE YOU. &nbsp YOU TOO. &nbsp [ Mixed chatter ] &nbsp

&nbsp CAN I COME IN? &nbsp [ Clearingof throat ]YOU JUST, UH... &nbsp FINISHINGDINNER? &nbsp JUST STARTING. &nbsp THREE OUNCES OF CHICKEN, FOUR OUNCES OF LIMA BEANS. &nbsp IS THAT ENOUGH? &nbsp YOU HAVE TOKEEP UP YOURSTRENGTH. &nbsp RIGHT. I HAVE 10 BLOW-JOBS TO GIVE &nbsp BEFORE IHIT THE HAY. &nbsp I WISH YOUWOULDN'T TALKLIKE THAT. &nbsp IT'S HOW EXPERTS TALK. &nbsp YEAH, I KNOW. &nbsp TWO OF THEMCAME TO THEPRECINCT TODAY. &nbsp THAT TALLSWISH-STICK? &nbsp EMMETT? &nbsp AND THE ONE WHOLOOKS LIKE ANACCOUNTANT. &nbsp TED. &nbsp THEY EXPLAINED ALLABOUT YOUR... EDUCATION. &nbsp HOW YOU WENTTO THE HEADOF THE CLASS. &nbsp WELL, EMMETT'SGOT A BIG MOUTH. &nbsp IN MORE WAYSTHAN ONE. &nbsp WHAT ELSE DID THEY TELL YOU? &nbsp THAT YOU DID IT FOR ME. &nbsp TO PLEASE ME. &nbsp I WOULDN'T DO THAT FOR JUST ANYONE, YOU KNOW. &nbsp I KNOW. &nbsp DO YOU HAVE ANYIDEA WHAT ITMEANS TO ME? &nbsp THAT YOU WANTED TO GIVEME PLEASURE THAT MUCH? &nbsp I THOUGHT THAT'SWHAT PEOPLE DO &nbsp WHEN THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. &nbsp WHICH IS WHY I ENLISTED DETECTIVES CAFFNEY AND LEUELLYN. &nbsp THEY'RE THETWO LESBIANSON THE FORCE. &nbsp I TOLD... THEM &nbsp I WANTED A LITTLECRASH COURSE OF MY OWN. &nbsp NO. &nbsp OH, YEAH. &nbsp AND...HOW'D IT GO? &nbsp IT WAS VERY INFORMATIVE. &nbsp IN FACT, &nbsp IF YOU'D CARETO RETIRE TOTHE BOUDOIR, &nbsp I HAVE A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT TO DO. &nbsp Bingo caller: O-79. &nbsp

&nbsp Game announcer:...RING AROUNDTHE DILDO! &nbsp Bingo caller: G-51. &nbsp ONE MORE. ONE MORE. &nbsp [ Cheering ] &nbsp YOU HAVEPERFECT AIM. &nbsp YEAH, EXCEPT AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING &nbsp WHEN I HAVE TO PEE. &nbsp OH-H-H... &nbsp FOR YOU. &nbsp MY HERO! &nbsp THAT REMINDS ME OF BEN. &nbsp YEAH, IT'S TOOBAD HE COULDN'TCOME TO BRIAN'SFILTHY CARNIVAL. &nbsp WELL HE'S STILL BUMMED OUT ABOUT PAUL. &nbsp OH. &nbsp Ben: HEY, YOU GUYS! &nbsp HI!HOO-HOO. &nbsp WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE? &nbsp IT'S A NIGHTOF FUN ANDSURPRISES! &nbsp I'LL SAY! COME ON, YOU! &nbsp WOO! &nbsp WOW. &nbsp WHERE ARETHEY HEADINGOFF TO? &nbsp WHO KNOWS?BATHTUB RACES? &nbsp WHAT SHOULD WE DO NEXT? WHAT SHOULD WE DO NEXT? &nbsp DILDO SWALLOWER!DILDO SWALLOWER! [ Excited screams ] &nbsp Melanie:CHANGEDMY ASS. &nbsp BRIAN'S STILL THE SAMEIRRESPONSIBLE FUCKERHE ALWAYS WAS. SHHH. &nbsp ON THE OTHER HAND, HE DID MAKE THE CENTER ALMOST 100,000, &nbsp MINUS HIS PERCENTAGE. &nbsp YEAH, ANDHUMILIATE THEMIN THE PROCESS. &nbsp THAT DIDN'T STOP THEM FROM ACCEPTING THE MONEY. HM? &nbsp IT SERVED AS A GOOD REMINDER. &nbsp OF WHAT? &nbsp THAT HE'S A LOOSE CANNON. &nbsp NOT TO BE TRUSTED. &nbsp AND DEFINITELY NOT THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT &nbsp AS THE FATHER OF MY CHILD. &nbsp OH, COME ON. &nbsp I'M SERIOUS.NO, YOU'RE BEINGRIDICULOUS. &nbsp YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO HAVE A BABY &nbsp WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT? &nbsp I DID. &nbsp WELL, THAT WAS YOUR DECISION. &nbsp THIS ONE'S MINE. &nbsp AND I SAY I WANTSOMEONE ELSE. &nbsp [ Sigh ] &nbsp

&nbsp Bingo caller:COME ON, EVERY-BODY, IT'S B-5. &nbsp

&nbsp Game announcer: COME ON. STEP UP. &nbsp PUT THE RING AROUND THE DILDO. &nbsp [ Mixed shouts/laughter ] &nbsp

&nbsp Bingo caller: B-6... O-69. &nbsp

&nbsp WE HAVE A BINGO! &nbsp Game announcer:TRY THAT FOR WHIP-O-RAMA! &nbsp YOU MADE IT. &nbsp THOUGHT I'DSEE HOW ITWAS GOING. &nbsp WHERE'S IAN? &nbsp ETHAN...IS WITH HISFRIENDS. &nbsp YOU SHOULD'VE BROUGHT HIM. &nbsp NO, I DON'TTHINK SO. &nbsp MAYBE HECOULD'VE LEARNEDA FEW THINGS &nbsp THEY DON'T TEACH IN COLLEGE. &nbsp I GUESS IBETTER GO. &nbsp TELL IAN WE MISSED HIM. &nbsp

&nbsp [ Quiet chatter ] &nbsp YOU WANTTO REMOVEYOUR ASS? &nbsp GROOVY CAR. &nbsp THANKS. &nbsp I ALWAYS WANTED ONE. &nbsp NO SHIT. &nbsp MUST'VE COST A LOT. &nbsp WELL ACTUALLY, IT WAS A... &nbsp CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTION. &nbsp SO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE? &nbsp I'D LIKE THAT. &nbsp [ Ignition of engine ] &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE ONLY ONE ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE ONLY ONE ♪ &nbsp ♪ 'CAUSE I JUST WANNA PLAY WITH MYSELF ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE ♪ &nbsp ♪ RISING WITH THE SONS OF MADNESS ♪ &nbsp ♪ CROSSING OVER THE ROAD ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE ONLY ONE ♪ &nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO SELLYOUR SOUL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE HOLY ONE ♪ &nbsp ♪ 'CAUSE I JUST WANNA FINISH THIS RACE ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND I DON'T WANNA LOSE MY FACE ♪ &nbsp ♪ LOOKING FORA NEW DIRECTION ♪ &nbsp ♪ CROSSING OVER THE ROAD ♪ &nbsp ♪ SO WELCOME TOTHE OTHER SIDE ♪ &nbsp ♪ DON'T BE AFRAID TO TESTIFY ♪ &nbsp ♪ IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GET YOU HIGH ♪ &nbsp ♪ REACHING FOR SOMEBODYIN YOUR IMAGE WORLD ♪ &nbsp ♪ WAITING FOR A SIGN ♪ &nbsp ♪ OF A CHANGE ♪ &nbsp ♪ CROSSING OVER THE ROAD ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO TAKE CONTROL AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE ONLY ONE ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp ♪ IT'S TIME TO PLAY YOUR ROLE AGAIN ♪ &nbsp ♪ AND BE THE HOLY ONE ♪ &nbsp ♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK ♪ &nbsp ♪ THAT ANYONE KNOWS ♪ &nbsp ♪ SO WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE ♪ &nbsp ♪ DON'T BE AFRAID TO CRUCIFY ♪ &nbsp ♪ IT'S NOT TOO LATETO FREE YOUR MIND ♪ &nbsp ♪ REACHING FOR SOMEBODYIN YOUR IMAGE WORLD ♪ &nbsp ♪ WAITING FOR SOME KIND OF A CHANGE ♪ &nbsp MOO. ♪ CROSSING OVER THE ROAD ♪ &nbsp

&nbsp