Original subtitles

Tell me.

How's things?

How's everything?

How's life?

How's your husband?

Good. Good.

Good with you guys?

Always working.

You know.

Yeah. Can't complain.

Good. Could be worse.

Could be worse.

And how's Vicky doing?

She's pretty good.

Yeah? Yeah. But you know what I want?

What?

I want a grandson or a granddaughter.

What? He doesn't want kids, so... Really?

Yeah, I don't know.

Kids are weird at this age.

Like, they're scared of being at me.

My stepson's the same thing. How he doesn't want to have kids.

It's like they're scared of babies or something.

Right? And, like, we didn't have babies, so it would be nice if they wanted

babies, you know? So, like, they get to experience the baby stage.

Right? I mean...

I'm so bad. I always wanted to be a mom, have a baby.

I was just never lucky enough to have that. I mean, obviously, I have Jimmy.

I love him so much. He's my own, but... Having a stepson isn't the same as being

there and not being there.

Right? You know what I did the other day?

What? Tell me.

I took the deacryphils out of his room.

What?

No, like, that's fucking nasty.

I know, I know, but you know, the way I see it, I take some a little less than a

responsibility.

I get a grandchild, you know.

I have a confession myself.

What? Don't judge me, okay?

I might have done the same thing.

I'm dead.

I've been cleaning Jenny's room for months now.

And this big little drawer that keeps all these condoms in.

I've been pooping the whole time.

But it's also so surprising. I told her just to invite you.

No.

I can still get pregnant.

Yeah.

So? I can too.

Well, what if...

We take matters into our own hands.

And, you know, like, I'll deal with your son.

You do the same with mine?

Yeah.

I mean, no offense, no fucking way.

It's wrong on so many levels. It's wrong.

All right, this is the way I see it. All right, so eventually one of our prints

is going to work.

They're going to get a girl pregnant.

So, who do you want to get pregnant?

Some random bimbo that he's having sex with?

Or your loving friend that you know is going to take care of the child?

Okay.

You might have a point.

Fine.

Let's do this.

Let's make some babies and do it.

Please.

I'm never going to agree to that.

Maybe it's time for a birth movie conversation.

Okay. Let's do it.

Halloween.

This is probably not the best time for you to be here because you're going to

watch your son get violently wrecked.

I'm going to bring you about as hard as I'm going to do.

Oh, yeah? Mm -hmm.

Okay. Whoa.

Ooh, got a score.

Score multiplier.

We found these in your room.

Care to explain?

You guys are in big trouble.

What does this mean?

Huh? Have you been fucking a bimbo?

Mom, you know who she is.

Silence!

I raised you better than this.

We're both really disappointed in you guys.

We can't do this right now.

I know.

You guys.

Normal. who want to have sex.

They're at that age where you could carry it.

And, I mean, bulls have girlfriends.

But if you want to start, like, keep seeing them, you know, you need to know

to treat a woman.

We need to have a little talk, boys.

Talk? About the birds and the bees, right?

Right.

I'm serious.

I don't even want to have this conversation with my mom.

Well, it was bound to happen, sweetheart.

And better late than never, right?

Pretty late, but it would have helped me.

Well, now that we're on the same page... Um... Um...

Wait.

Explicitly, focus.

Stop talking over us. I'm gonna focus.

Yeah, you can come up here.

You can go to the better page. We have to learn something.

Hi, Jimmy.

Well,

now that we're all on the same page, like, these are new.

I mean, I don't think they're getting it. Yeah, I just think they're going to

care until they take off. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

Mom! Holy shit!

Jimmy!

Hush! How else are you guys going to learn about sex and reproduction?

I see your mom's tits. Yeah, I can't see them. They're right there.

Thanks. We should look at them. Yeah, no.

Okay. We should look at your mom's tits.

Oh, hello.

I see my mom's tits.

I see your mom's tits.

Don't worry.

Let's just stare at them a little bit more.

Okay. Okay, we're focusing.

This got real. Yeah. This is a lot.

Ellie is trying to teach you boys to listen.

So when played with correctly, you really stimulate her.

They're very sensitive.

Very sensitive boys.

See how they're getting harder as she's pleased with them?

Stop looking at the kids, bro. What am

I supposed to do?

Are you boys understanding what we're trying to teach you? Not really, no.

Not really, just kind of tough.

Why don't you continue?

So, you know, studies show that if the woman reaches

orgasm, she's more likely to get pregnant.

It's true.

Or in layman's terms, if she comes.

Well, I mean, that really makes no difference. We're not trying to have a

Maybe we should swap.

Do you want to try?

I think you guys are going to need your girlfriends to come have you.

Look, this is a lot for me. What if dad comes home? He could be home any minute.

I do not even want to have this conversation with dad.

I don't want to have this conversation without your dad.

Guys, hey.

What about him? Jimmy, your dad's not coming home anytime soon. I can't. Why

we having this conversation right now?

It's important to make sure that you guys are doing it right.

Why do you care?

Why do you care?

It's important.

You know, we care about you. That makes this better?

Yeah, yeah.

I feel like there are dozens of better ways to have this conversation.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. Here.

See? You need to see.

That's it.

It's a vagina.

Or as you call it, a pussy.

It certainly is.

When us girls get excited, they get sweaty.

Jimmy, you need to listen to your mother, okay?

Quiet down.

Listen to your mother.

Oh, now we're going to get a good, in -depth look at this.

Jimmy, you need to keep looking too.

See, you need to keep looking too. And your mom's just done. You need to look

this. It's important.

It's very important to me. So important.

Now this is where you put your cock.

I'm focused,

Mom. I'm focused, Mom.

Jimmy.

Here, why don't you take your future stick and play with Miss Ellie?

We need some practice.

I don't know. Honestly, I am not bad at this part.

Are you okay with this?

Kind of, kind of. But you have to do one bit first before you do anything wrong.

What do you smell in this stick? No.

Stop. Stop.

You boy. Stop.

Stop. Uh -huh. Yeah. A bit.

Yeah. Okay.

Back to it.

Back to it, Jimmy.

Come on, focus, sweetheart.

Come on, Jimmy.

Come on, Jimmy. Okay, okay, okay. All right, all right. I want you to show us

what you've learned so far.

Go ahead.

What have you learned?

Okay. What have you learned?

This is the areola.

Good. Come on, Jimmy.

You were listening.

A little bit.

That's what it is, all right.

That's the nipple.

I couldn't help but notice there's a few stray hair in the tip of your poker.

Sorry.

I want you to get it off. I want you to get it off.

Come on. Get it off of your teeth.

No. Stop it. All right.

All right.

It's just difficult.

It's kind of really weird, you know. It's like...

It's okay.

Okay.

Alright.

Your mom appeared to teach you, boy.

There's nothing wrong with it.

It's also the lesson. It's okay.

Nothing's wrong with it.

It's okay.

Remember?

Alright. What are you going to teach us, mom?

Jimmy's going to show us what he learned. Right, Jimmy?

I mean, it's whatever.

Other than that, I am mad at this point.

It's okay, Jimmy.

So,

a woman's vagina is very sensitive.

You have to be gentle.

Um, okay.

That's my mom's vagina.

Yeah, yeah.

It is.

Fair.

You can do.

I can.

Yeah, you should. You should watch.

You made me watch what?

That's the lips.

And that's where the dick goes in.

I kind of got lost in the... No way. It's called right there.

The clit? Good. Good job.

The happy button.

Okay. I swear most women aren't the most sensitive. Okay.

Very important. But never forget.

That'll be clear.

Just rub it, rub it like this.

Exactly. Very gently.

Very gently. Mm -hmm.

I don't want to be teased before we get fucked.

Very arousing.

Um, what?

Can I just hear?

Oh, come on. I'd like to be teased.

Teased? It's a good thing we're having this conversation. This is why we're

having this conversation.

Yep, this is why.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Remember, you said it was okay.

It is okay, guys.

It's okay.

And I'm normal.

It's fine. Completely normal.

I'm so happy we're teaching you something new.

Me too. Your girlfriends will thank us as well.

I'm not telling my girlfriend anything about this.

Like, ever.

Okay, boy. Or anyone.

In fact, after we're done here, I'm going to go in my room and pretend this

never, ever happened.

I mean... Okay, boy.

Uh -oh.

What?

My pants?

No.

What is that called?

No.

You know what it's called?

Yes,

I know.

I didn't want to say it. Or call it a cock, a dick, whatever else you young

call it nowadays.

Winger, prick, tallywhacker, party boys, twig and berries.

What? I mean,

after playing with us, I mean, I feel like it's probably getting kind of hard

show us.

Listen, we know.

How that whole situation works. Yeah. I'm not taking my dick out in front of

friend. That's weird as fuck. No. No way.

Jimmy, just focus on me. Then it's not weird.

Yeah, focus on my mom, I guess.

No, I'll focus on you.

Deal?

Come on. Come on.

We're here.

All right, boys.

Drop those drawings.

I don't even know what to do.

Oh, shit.

Oh,

shit.

Okay.

Okay, boys.

Let's get them out.

Are you sure I have to do this?

Come on, Jimmy. It's the gym. Do the jump rope. Be a good boy.

Seriously?

Okay. Yeah.

Oh my God, Jimmy. Stop. Your cock is way bigger than your dad.

It is. It's weird enough. I don't want to hear that, Mom. It's okay.

I can't.

This is so embarrassing.

Okay.

Poor Jimmy over here is embarrassed.

Why don't you swap with your friend?

Yeah, let's switch.

Go over to Miss Ellie. Cool, Dad.

Okay, I guess. It's better off with Mom.

Oh, wow.

You have a ring cock too.

Oh my god, really?

They're so... Do they look like they're boned cunts?

Um, probably.

It's so much better than I imagined.

You imagined it?

Either once or twice.

I mean, it's not weird, right?

You guys have been playing this the whole time?

Are you sure dad's not going to be home?

How do you make it so weird?

How does she do it, though?

Oh shit.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Is it better than your girlfriend?

Your son's cock.

Are you good?

Don't lie to us, boys.

We love your pretty mom.

I think I should lay down.

I need to learn about, you know, eating pussy.

I'm going to show you how wet you get.

Yeah. Get down there.

Yeah. Right there.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Oh,

yeah. I'm going to quit.

You better be doing the same thing.

I'm going to quit.

Yeah.

You're so good.

You're doing a good job.

Good job, Nicky. Thanks, Mom.

Be a good boy.

You're tired.

Oh, come on, Jimmy. I'm just trying to teach you.

You should be very proud of yourself.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Oh shit. Oh, my God.

oh yeah he's just fucking his finger that's a good boy

oh i'm so

fucking lucky i have to write

Oh good job.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's a good show. I think I'm ready for it. Oh,

fuck.

Get up, Jenny.

That feels really good doesn't it

Mom, you really suck, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, you know you got too long on your second cock.

Yeah, it's hard, isn't it?

You have such a hot mom.

Oh,

yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Look at you, mommy. Look at your poker face, Jimmy.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Jimmy, I know you have a poker.

Oh, stop looking at me.

Come on, Jimmy. Good boy. Look into your other eye.

Yeah. Yeah.

Show me, Jimmy.

Oh my

god.

Thank you. You're good.

Oh, come on.

Don't lie.

You want to talk about your mom, don't you?

Don't lie to me.

You want to fuck your mommy, don't you?

Don't lie to me. Don't you dare lie to your mom. I'm not lying.

What are you doing?

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wow.

Watch out, love. You're going to die.

Okay, good. My mom's back in my day, too.

What are you doing?

What are you doing right now?

No, I'm not.

That's crazy.

Yeah. Oh, look at that.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

Tell Mommy how good it feels. How good is she?

Yeah. Is there a couple making tea?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I kinda wanna fuck you myself.

Yeah, you wanna fuck your mommy, Nikki?

Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Dude, stop you until fucking late.

Fuck your mom.

Okay, okay. Until you're late. Until you're late.

Until you're late. Until you're late.

Until you're late.

Until you're late.

Until you're late.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, you boys are so good.

Oh, yes.

Yes. Right there. Right there, baby.

Oh, yes. Put it down. Mommy's whole.

Yeah. Mommy can't get enough to give you a hug.

There we go.

Mommy's put this in the way.

Did you know mommy was such a big whore to me?

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh,

fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Put it back in your mommy.

Yeah.

Oh,

my

God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I feel

so

good. I feel so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh,

my God. Oh,

my

God.

Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah.

oh my god oh my god

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my

God.

Yeah.

oh my god

Oh my God.

How about your mama's all of the shirt cheating stuff?

Damn, mama.

Well, you guys know what they say.

Church girls are really fucking freaky.

I hate it when they're not conservative.

Oh, my college days.

Oh, my college days.

Oh, my college days.

Oh, my college days.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

fuck. Oh,

my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm really close to cutting.

Where?

Where do you want it?

In you. Oh, yeah.

Here we go.

Yes, you will.

That's what you're told. You're going to listen to mommy and come and start to

believe. Are you really?

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my

God.

That was crazy.

What the fuck?

That definitely went a lot.

See what you did to mommy's phone.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah.

That was my girlfriend

She's pregnant

You're

gonna be a dad and a brother you must