Original subtitles

(VHS TAPE WINDS)

(TAPE WHIRRS)

(LOUD STATIC)

(WIND BLOWS)

(LAUGHS)

I love this place.

- BOY: Yeah, me too. - So strange, though.

- Why is it called a river? - BOY: That's, uh, what it is.

-(GIGGLES) Thank you. - BOY: It's dried up, you know.

I actually used to come here a lot when I was a kid.

- Yeah? - BOY: Yeah.

- I used to ride my bike. -It's our new spot.

BOY: What? You're gonna steal my childhood memories?

No. We'll just make new ones.

- BOY: Promise? - Promise.

(TAPE SQUEALS AND STOPS)

-(REEL CLICKS) -(INDIE MUSIC)

- Give me that thing. - Up-bup-bup!

My camera, my show.

Besides, you're prettier than I am.

GIRL: No fair.

(GIGGLES)

- Don't show my face. - Shut up.

Don't show my face. Alright, give me that.

- GIRL: No. - I'm serious, little missy.

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

- Don't cry. -(LAUGHS)

(OPERA MUSIC)

-(BOY ROARS) -(GASPS) God!

I love it when you record me.

No, really, I do.

It means that you love me.

BOY: What colour nail polish is that?

GIRL: Since when do you care about...?

Goddammit, Kev. You know when to turn that thing off!

-(BANG ON DOOR) - KEV: Shit.

WOMAN: Get out here now.

Thought I told you not to leave

your girlfriend's damn bike in the damn driveway!

- Little slut! - Slut?

-(INDIE MUSIC) -(SOUND DISTORTS)

It's what it is.

But it's right up or it's out of commission.

Kevin.

Why are you so fascinated with this thing, hmm?

(INDIE MUSIC)

Don't keep me at arm's length, Kev.

I'm much more fun in the flesh.

And that's all you get.

- KEV: Let go! - WOMAN: ..and get a job!

KEV: Fuck you, Grandma!

- What the fuck? - GIRL: Oh, God!

NEWSREADER: Breaking news at 10:30 -

near downtown Los Angeles, a police pursuit.

- You see that van there... - GIRL: Kev!

- KEV: Holy shit. That's... - GIRL: Kev.

- That's down the block. - Aren't you gonna talk about it?

KEV: Yeah, let's talk about how awesome this fucking chase is!

Look at this!

Look. It's just down the street.

Kev, put that thing down and face what's going on.

KEV: What's going on?

It's a crazy-ass chase, headed right for us.

What do you think's gonna happen?

You think that shit's gonna go viral?

You're gonna become famous?

KEV: I got... I have to go shoot this.

It's sick, Kev. Put that thing down.

KEV: Come on, babe, this... This is my chance.

Haven't you ever wanted to be a part of something bigger than you?

(SIRENS WAIL)

(SIRENS GET LOUDER)

Holy shit! Oh, my God. It's here, it's here, it's here.

You made me miss it. Fuck!

- KEV: Fuck, fuck! - GIRL: Kev!

- KEV: Oh, my God, it's here. - GIRL: Come back!

KEV: Shit, shit, shit! It's right here!

KEV: Jesus Christ, Grandma!

- You little pervert! - KEV: Move! Move! Shit.

You're gonna make me fucking miss it. Shit, shit.

-(HELICOPTER WHIRRS) -(SIRENS WAIL)

KEV: Fuck! Fuck! I missed it.

(BIKERS EXCLAIM)

(HORN HONKS)

(CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY) Get back inside!

It's not safe out here. Are you filming me?

I'm on my property, man. I'm on my own property right now.

- Seriously! -(HELICOPTER WHIRRS LOUDLY)

NEWSREADER: Starting to see quite a few pedestrians now...

(PHONE VIBRATES)

...in the age of Twitter and YouTube,

people can track this sort of thing and try to get in on the action,

get their special shots of the driver or the action.

This guy is travelling at such a high rate of speed

through these residential neighbourhoods.

Definitely don't wanna be out there making yourself a target.

KEV: Thank you, honey. You made me miss it.

Iris, what the hell? I'm sorry.

- OFFICER: Get back inside! - KEV: What the hell?

I'll tase your ass if you don't get inside right now, goddamn.

KEV: Iris, get out of the street.

I told you to get off the street and turn that thing off!

KEV: Holy shit! Oh, my God! lri...lris!

-(lCE-CREAM VAN MUSIC) -(OPERA MUSIC)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

MAN: Just come in and have a seat.

I'm Detective Hughes.

I'm gonna have to record this conversation, OK?

- OK. - Tell me your full name.

My name is Scarlett Kay.

HUGHES: And what is your occupation, Miss Kay?

I'm a magician's assistant for Dante the Great.

(SPOOKY MUSIC)

HUGHES: The tape that you brought in to us,

where did you find that tape?

In his dressing-room, there's a secret compartment

behind the breaker box.

Dante recorded everything.

He always needed an audience.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you so much for coming out to the show tonight.

NEWSREADER: The magician known as Dante the Great

was arrested today.

So just two years ago, Dante the Great was John McMullen,

and he was living in a trailer park in Atlanta

barely making ends meet, couldn't pay the rent.

He would do tricks for his friends in the neighbourhood,

and he was real good at it.

Cut the cards. Alright. Alright.

- MAN: Yeah, that's the blue... - Pretend like you didn't see.

Figured out the trick!

MAN 2: Why don't you make some beer appear? Be useful.

MAN: You suck, bro.

You guys are real funny for a bunch of unemployed motherfuckers.

Dante came in possession of a cloak.

Nobody's really sure where he got the cloak.

MATTHEW: So the rumours are that Harry Houdini himself

once owned this cloak.

And it frightened Houdini, so he got rid of it.

(MUTTERS SPELL)

(HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEK)

(LAUGHS)

(CACKLES)

Whoo! Whoo!

Well, there's no doubt that the cloak changed Dante's life forever.

-(FIREWORKS WHISTLE) -(CHEERING)

MATTHEW: His shows were completely exclusive.

Passwords, knocking on doors.

You gotta know somebody to even get a ticket.

That was the most amazing show I've ever seen.

He picked my pocket.

From mid-balcony, he picked my pocket, from the stage.

I don't know how he did it.

We went into the show at 7 o'clock in New York.

- We walk out of the doors... - We're in L.A.

We're in L.A. I...

I'm kind of fucking pissed, but I'm kind of like,

this is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

His illusions were on a different level than anyone else.

Today's magic is dead.

You wanna learn a trick, go Google it, go find it.

It's on Wikipedia. You will NEVER discover how I do it.

(IMITATES ELMER FUDD) Hewwo, wabbit.

- Whoa! Sa! -(LIGHT ZAPS)

Argh!

NEWSREADER: Firefighters arrived on the scene

to see heavy flames on the east side.

NEWSREADER 2: Not a lot of wind this afternoon,

so they're hoping to keep this contained to one structure.

NEWSREADER: No word of any injuries or anyone inside.

(ELECTRICITY HUMS)

We have an audience tonight, so why aren't you working?!

-(INDISTINCT WHISPERING) - What?

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING CONTINUES)

What do you want from me?

Please.

JEREMIAH: The cloak's power comes from what's inside it.

-(SCREAMS) -(WHISPERING)

But he had to feed it, and it was only hungry for one thing.

Dante. Oh, my God. Turn that off. It's not funny.

Can you hand me a towel?

Seriously?

(DANTE CHANTS IN FOREIGN TONGUE)

-(THUD!) -(WOMAN GROANS)

MATTHEW: There were some people that went missing

that were close to Dante.

Some of his assistants. No bodies, no evidence.

Just gone.

(CHANTS IN FOREIGN TONGUE)

(FAINT ROARING)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

-(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) -(FIREWORKS WHISTLE)

HUGHES: Tell me what was your first impression

of Dante when you met him.

The first time I met him, I was auditioning for one of his shows,

and I was really nervous - he was my idol.

Oh, my God!

Scarlett. She's different.

I just knew it was her, and we were meant to work together,

meant to be great together.

HUGHES: So you always wanted to be a magician's assistant?

No, I want to be a magician.

I wanted to work with him

because I thought I would get to learn how to do the tricks and the illusions,

but no-one on the crew knew how he did anything.

It was frustrating, to say the least.

Let's take five, guys.

I know that this can all be very confusing to begin with.

It can take a lifetime of practice.

And you're... you're brand-new.

Let's say you and I just put all this work aside

and tonight, you have dinner with me.

What do you say? Hmm?

- No, I have...I have a thing. - Cancel it.

He's picking me up in an hour.

Oh.

Clay is my ex-boyfriend.

HUGHES: When's the last time you heard from Clay, Miss Kay?

A month.

HUGHES: How was your relationship with Clay?

Clay...Clay had a temper, but...it was OK.

We were OK.

HUGHES: You weren't just an employee of Dante, right'?

I mean, you guys had some kind of relationship?

SCARLETT: We became really close, working together.

(CHUCKLES) How'd you do that?

I'll show you.

We're going to film this one, alright? That was close.

- We're gonna try it again. - OK. Alright.

Now, on the count.

One... (MOUTHS)

-(SCARLETT GASPS) - Hey! Look at that!

Perfect sleight of hand.

He was my friend.

HUGHES: Just friends?

SCARLETT: He was more than just my friend.

HUGHES: The tapes that Scarlett brought in indicated

several violent murders

that incriminated Dante in the disappearance

of at least two of the magician assistants

and her ex-boyfriend, Clay Bowland.

Were you aware that Dante was going to confront Clay?

SCARLETT: No.

(GROANS)

-(CRACKING) -(MOANS)

-Sit! -(GROANS)

(CRACKING)

(SIGHS)

What a dick.

I'm sorry. (SNIFFLES)

(STIRRING MUSIC)

My shows are something that will reveal,

from the darkness, great light.

You will come through doorways that you didn't even know were there,

see something unbelievable.

But you have to believe it because it's right there in front of your eyes.

- They're recording here. - Get down!

- Alright, alright. - These guys with you?

POLICE: No! No! No!

DANTE: I guess that, uh, concludes our interview.

I'm gonna need your badge number.

POLICE: You have the right to remain silent.

SCARLETT: The cloak, when he has it on, he's different.

HUGHES: I can assure you, it's nothing magical,

nothing supernatural - it's just a sociopath.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Hold onto your tickets. It's gonna be a big finale.

HUGHES: What I need right now from you is the truth.

I can't have any more stories about magic.

SCARLETT: I'm telling you the truth.

(GASPING)

(SIREN WAILS)

SCARLETT: I know now that what he does, they're not illusions.

MAN: There. Over there.

It's...magic.

There's no such thing as magic.

(SCARLETT GROANS)

What is the first rule?

You never tell the rubes how the trick is done.

- I saw what you did. - What do I do with you now?

I know you murdered those women!

It wasn't me.

(SCOFFS) Not you?

What is it? What is that thing?

Real magic.

OFFICERS: Get down on the ground! Get down!

Gentlemen.

(CRACKING)

Welcome...to the show.

(GUNFIRE)

No!

Nothing up my sleeve!

(SNAPS FINGERS)

OFFICER: Suspect down.

What the hell?

(BREATH ES HEAVILY)

Ta-da!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

DANTE: What are you doing?

Scarlett, stop. Give that to me.

(SCREAMS) No!

Give me the cloak!

Argh!

(SCARLETT GASPS)

(WINGS FLAP)

DANTE: Scarlett!

Give it to me!

(ROARS)

You made me do this!

(DEMONIC WHISPERING)

SCARLETT: Dante, please.

-(MUTTERS IN FOREIGN TONGUE) - SCARLETT: Dante?

I'm so sorry, my dear.

-(GROANS) -(ROARING)

- I'm sorry, my dear. -(SCREAMS)

Scarlett, no! Wait! No!

INTERVIEWER: So where's Dante now?

HUGHES: That's a great question.

I know our entire department is looking for him.

We have gotten assistance from the FBI.

It's only a matter of time.

I like to think that he's somewhere...

...planning his comeback.

We talked. We talked...few months back.

He missed me.

He said he's coming for a visit.

He'll...he'll come. He's coming.

He always does.

He comes home.

JEREMIAH: Where did the cloak end up?

Nobody knows for sure.

(FAINT WHISPERING)

(FINGERS TAP ON KEYBOARD)

(LIGHT CLICKS)

-(HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING) -(SCARLETT SCREAMS)

(WHITE NOISE SCREECHES)

NEWS READER: ..down through this interchange again

with the LAPD right behind it, we'll see which way he...

(PHONE RINGS ON IRIS'S END)

Iris, pick up your fucking phone.

(HORN HONKS)

(HELICOPTER WHIRRS OVERHEAD, SIRENS WAIL)

(PHONE CONTINUES TO RING)

- Kevin. Come here, please. -lris. Baby.

Please come, Kev! I don't know what they're gonna do.

- Please. - Baby. Don't hang up.

-(ELECTRONIC INTERFERENCE) - Fuck!

-(SIRENS WAIL) - KEV: What the fuck?

(ICE-CREAM VAN MUSIC)

-(HELICOPTER WHIRRS OVERHEAD) -(OPERA MUSIC)

MAN: Hey, what you doing? You're gonna miss it.

Miss what?

Can you see it?

(ALL CHATTER OVER EACH OTHER)

BOY: They're coming this way.

Oh, man.

See it on YouTube, bitches.

-(THUD!) - MAN: Oh!

Dude!

Holy shit!

-(MOUTHS) - MAN: Look, there's another one.

MAN 2: Look, there's another guy.

KEV: Stop!

Stop!

Gotta help me!

(BIKERS SPEAK INDISTINCTLY)

NEWSREADER: They're coming back on the 110 freeway.

He's really picking up some speed.

Stop!

BIKER: You little prick! You're slowing us down!

I don't give a fuck about your guys' video.

- That thing took my girlfriend. - Will you fuck off already?

Dude, you don't understand. It's coming back around.

- Yeah, no shit. - No, you're not listening to me.

It's going in circles on purpose.

-(SIRENS AND MUSIC APPROACH) - Why?

Oh, shit!

BIKER: No! Oh, my God!

(BIKERS YELL INDISTINCTLY)

TRAPPED BIKER: Fuck! It's got me!

Take my arm!

(TRAPPED BIKER GROANS)

- BIKER 2: Grab him! - BIKER: I can't get to him!

- Grab him! -(GROANS)

(SHOUTING)

(SIRENS CONTINUE TO WAIL)

(TRAPPED BIKER SCREAMS) Oh, my God! Oh, God!

BIKER: Look at me, dude! Grab my hand!

(SCREAMING AND GROANING)

(BIKER GRUNTS)

(SIRENS GROW FAINT)

(TAPS ON KEYBOARD)

(LIGHTS ZAP)

(WHOOSHING)

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

(MAN BREATHES HEAVILY)

(WHOOSHING AND WHIRRING DIE DOWN)

(BOTH GASP)

-(LAUGHS) - Shhh!

(WHIRRING)

(EXHALES LOUDLY)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(MOANING)

(MOANING GETS LOUDER)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(CREAKING)

MARTA:

(BOTH GIGGLE)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(MOANING GETS LOUDER)

MOANING WOMAN: Oh, yeah!

(CAMERA PIPS, SHUTTER CLICKS)

(CAMERA PIPS, SHUTTER CLICKS)

(MECHANICAL HUMMING)

(HUMMING CONTINUES)

(MECHANICAL HUMMING)

(HUMMING GETS LOUDER)

(CHANTING ECHOES OVER LOUDSPEAKER)

ORIOL:

ALFONSO: No, no.

(ORIOL SPEAKS IN DEMONIC VOICE)

ALFONSO:

ALFONSO:

ORIOL 2:

(ORIOL SPEAKS SPANISH)

(ORIOL SPEAKS SPANISH)

(ORIOL LAUGHS)

Marta.

-(ROARS) -(SHRIEKS)

(SCREAMS)

(ORIOL 2 YOWLS)

(ALFONSO PANTS)

(ALFONSO WHIMPERS)

(GROWLING)

(MARTA SPEAKS SPANISH)

(ALFONSO PANTS)

Marta, Marta.

(BOTH SCREAM)

(INJURED ALFONSO GROANS)

(GROANS)

(HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEK)

(THUD)

(YELPS)

Argh!

NEWSREADER: Reports now that there might actually be

a hostage situation, so LAPD is going in a surveillance mode.

(SIREN WAILS)

KEV: Stupid girls bike.

(PANTS)

Fuck. Oh, shit, it's turning around again.

Fuck, this can't be happening.

(LATIN MUSIC)

(PEOPLE CHATTER INDISTINCTLY)

WOMAN: How much fucking hot dog does he want? Go over there.

Fuck the hot dogs.

No, papi. Don't make fun of your brother.

MAN: What's he gonna do about it, huh?

One more strike, he's back in for five to ten.

Give me a burger before I give you some matching eye shadow.

(SIREN WAILS)

(HORN HONKS)

KEV: This thing has my girlfriend. Please help me.

- Fuck! -(HELICOPTER WHIRRS)

-(LATIN MUSIC CONTINUES) -(WHIRRING CONTINUES)

You have the cojones to turn me in?

WOMAN: I got your cojones right here!

Who the fuck is that motherfucker, eh?

Lucy, where did you get the camera?

LUCY: Daddy. He has a trunk full of 'em.

Get rid of it!

You'd bring that to my uncle's house?

Do something, Uncle Alberto!

(MUSIC DISTORTS)

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Iris. I'm so sorry.

MAN: You touch her, I'll kill you!

(SIRENS WAIL)

(GRUMBLES)

(SCREAMING)

(ICE-CREAM VAN MUSIC)

Erase that.

(GAS HISSES)

- Help! -(EXPLOSION)

NEWSREADER: ..chased by... Oh!

Oh, my God. A huge explosion right below...

BOY: Pussy!

Don't make it. Don't make it. Trip, trip, trip, fall, fall.

Don't make it. Don't make it. Fuck.

- Whoo! - BOY: Son of a fucktard!

- Why are we shooting? - Did you get that?

BOY: Uh...no. Oh, that was the one?

Oh, no. Dude, I wasn't rolling. Yeah, we gotta go again.

- BOY 3: Did you get it? - What the fuck, man?

Craigslist ad said you could operate that shitty-ass camera.

BOY: You said your skating didn't suck dick.

You guys are not allowed to be up here.

- Go back to your house. - Hey, you got that shit!

Hey, you've got that shit.

(WHEELS CLATTER)

SKATER: Fuck. Argh!

Oh-ho! Oh, that was so trill!

Oh...just the focus, it was bad. So, one more.

- Get the fuck out of here. -(SKATER GROANS)

Three, two, one, action.

We all good?

All clear, big dog.

- Jesus! -(TYRES SCREECH)

(GROANS)

- Did you get that? - Sorry, dude.

The battery just, like, fell out.

- We gotta go again. - What are we paying you for?

If you fucked up my car, I'm calling the cops.

Dude, fuck you.

Get back in your car.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC)

Merry Christmas, dicks. Put 'em on.

- Oh, fuck that. - Those are stupid.

Jump into it, and then do a Shamu dive.

And I'm gonna get a shot with this.

Whoa!

When you gonna help me out with a ride?

I got a nice vagina just waiting for you.

- Yeah, right. - I got the vag on deck all day.

(SINGS) ♪ I got vagina all day. ♪

Do it, little homie.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES)

Dude!

Oh, man. Are you OK, dude? My bad.

Semper fi, cockbag click hole!

Oooh-rah!

I'm just directing a Web series right now about abused dolphins,

and then I freelance as a bartender.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! I'm coming.

Keep fighting, keep fighting. Keep punching.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Can't believe we got kicked out for that shit, dude.

- I woulda shot those dudes. - Yeah, right.

If it was life or death, you would have left me chillin'.

- You would have bailed. - Not even.

Excuse me. Do you have a dollar?

Nah. Take this, though, dude. I bit the end, but...

I spent all my money on this fucking filmer guy over here.

I got a stogy left if you want it.

You need a light? Oh, yeah. No problem.

- Fight the hobo! Bum fight! - Dude, dude, are you serious?

I go to sleep fucked up, not knowing I peed in a bottle right next to me.

I wake up in the morning, like, fuck, I need water, you know.

Bro, I grabbed the bottle and just gulp, gulp, and then...

But it still tasted like beer, though.

There's this one time I went and saw this old '80s hardcore band.

People were front-flipping and shit.

- All of a sudden, I look over... - Front-flipping?

- People were front-flipping? - Front-flipping into the crowd.

See, I told you, people can front-flip.

Dude, shut the fuck...

I look over and my homeboy's, like, throwing kids,

like, just throwing 'em into the wall and shit.

Little kids? Throwing little kids into the wall?

No. No, dude. They're, like, 20. Boom!

The fat guy's homie, or should I say...

Was he bleeding?

I'm gonna fucking pistol-whip the shit out of you if you...

Yo, don't touch my shit.

Dude, we need a new fucking spot to finish this video.

My cousin told me about this ditch in Tijuana.

He said it's always empty, totally secret.

- You got gas money? - I'm not paying.

Hey, hey! Sam! Hey, Sam!

- Dude, it's Shaun. - Whatever the fuck. Come here.

When are we gonna finish my skate video?

It's done. Hey, do you still have your dad's credit card?

Dude, we cannot go to TJ.

You know that fool Carlos in third period?

The cartel stuffed his uncle in a barrel of acid.

Dude, let's go.

You can go and fuck up the filming some more.

Tijuana is fine now. The drug dealers all left.

They got... they got firecrackers,

they got weed, they don't card for alcohol.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC FEATURING 'LA CUCARACHA')

CAMERAMAN: Yeah, get a bunch. Get the big ones, the big ones.

- Test 'em. - BOY: They only have three.

Make sure they're not a dud. Test 'em.

- BOY: Nah, we'll... - There you go. There you go.

(POP!)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES)

Thanks for the ride. This is a very serious piece of equipment.

- You have sex, keep it on. - Alright, cool. I will.

This kid throws $20 for gas and he gets the fucking titty cam?

No, that goes for both of you.

If you have sex, keep your cameras on.

- Oh, damn! -(WOMAN MURMURS IN SPANISH)

You want a swig of this?

BOY: Tell your sister to go home.

She's got syphil-herp.

CAMERAMAN: But the fact is, 'Faces of Death' and 'Jackass',

they sell more than every skateboard video combined.

- Yo, dude, you know... -(AUDIO DISTORTS)

You know where the fuck we are?

I do not! I have been lost for hours.

Seriously?

- These come-bags are boring. -(RUMBLING)

Is that a fucking earthquake?

I just survived a Mexican earthquake.

CAMERAMAN: Hey, how often do you guys clean your skateboard wheels?

This wasn't what I was thinking of, but you can skate this, yeah?

BOY: Yeah, but it smells like your mom.

Do you all know how to climb fences?

Jason, did you turn on your camera?

Turn on these whack-ass titty cams.

- Guys, turn on your cameras! - Shut up.

Turn on your camera.

It's been... Fuck off.

(RUMBLING)

BOY: Pour some for the homies, Gas Money.

-(SKATEBOARD GRINDS) - CAMERAMAN: Whoa!

Hey, guys... Ooh.

(FLIES BUZZ)

CAMERAMAN: Hey, dickhead, you think a skinned kitten

would still get views?

Oh, got a missed call.

You gonna start filming or what?

Remember that one time you did a shitty kick-flip

and got more views than porn?

There's a bunch of dog shit in the middle of it. Uh-huh.

Dude, this place is weird.

I ain't going back, though. We just walked three hours.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO)

CAMERAMAN: Something funky worth showing people.

No-one wants to see you guys

go backward and forward for four fucking hours.

- Wait. Go on the barrel. - The barrel?

- Go on top and do a front flip. - A front flip?

Don't come off that barrel until you do a front flip.

This goes out to your momma.

You be in the front right there.

CAMERAMAN: That was the shittiest front flip...

That fucking camera guy is weird, dude.

I know, and he's got this weird-ass look on his face

like he wants to touch me.

And Gas Money Kid just sits there and stares.

Huh-huh...

Want to be immortal, or do you want to be a giant vagina monster?

I will front-kick your asshole.

Some chick, she was all fucked up at the park.

You know the bleachers, how there's, like, gaps between?

She fell between 'em, like, the top one. Like, "Boom, boom!"

- Terrible. - Yeah, real fucking sad.

-(BOOM!) -(BOY YELLS AND GROANS)

CAMERAMAN: Don't blow off your dick hand.

At least your mom got two dick hands!

Oh, fuck! Fuck!

- Dude, dude, is that bleeding? - Arggh!

-(BLOOD SIZZLES) - CAMERAMAN: What the fuck?

Hot as my balls.

What the fuck?

Dude.

CAMERAMAN: Where did she come from?

Is she a ninja? Are you a ninja?!

Dude, your sister followed us here.

- What's wrong with her? - Hey, I'm just kidding.

Hey. My name's Taylor. But...

No, seriously, though, I'm a director.

Want me to throw you in some movies? We could do that.

(MAN CHANTS IN DISTANCE)

Hey, video guy, your dad's a good singer.

- BOY: Dude, let's bounce. -(CONTINUES CHANTING)

-(CRACKING) -(TAYLOR SCREAMS)

- BOY: Oh, shit! What the fuck? -(SCREAMS)

- Oh, what the fuck, dude'? - Shit! Shit! Shit!

(PANTS)

-(BOY PANTS AND MUTTERS) -(MAN CONTINUES CHANTING)

Hey, I'm gonna shoot one of these motherfuckers, dog.

Oh, shit.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

BOY: Get that fool, Gas Money, dog!

BOY: Get the fuck off him!

BOY 2: Come on, Gas Money. Crack him!

- BOY 1: Get off that kid! -(CHANTING STOPS)

- Do what you gotta do, man! - What am I doing, man?

- Where are you going? - I don't know, man.

Dude, back up. (GRUNTS)

Dude, don't... Get... Huh!

(FIRE CRACKLES)

- Oh, my fucking God. -(GUNSHOTS)

- Do crackheads have fire blood? - BOY: Yeah, definitely.

I'll go to the Mexican hospital. I don't give a fuck.

- BOY: Shit. There's more. - BOY 2: But they go down easy!

- They're falling apart! - They got a disease.

- Dude, use your gun. - What the fuck?

I only got one more bullet, dog!

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Arggh!

(SCREAMS)

+lam "Ohh!

-(CHANTING CONTINUES) -(PANTS AND YELLS)

BOY: Where the fuck is Gas Money Kid going?

Hey... (GROANS)

(GASPS)

(MAN YELLS DISTORTEDLY)

Oh, shit! Hey, dog. I think they killed Gas Money Kid.

- Don't talk. Just fight! -(CHANTS LOUDLY)

(PANTS AND GRUNTS)

(AIR WHOOSHES)

Find a weapon, find a weapon, find a weapon.

(GRUNTS)

(MAN CONTINUES CHANTING)

BOY: Deck-check that fool!

Bitch!

- Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! -(CRACKING)

Little fucking bitch! Bitch! (GRUNTS)

BOY: He's dead, motherfucker! Help me!

There's more of them!

(AUDIO BUZZES AND FADES)

Dude, they're everywhere!

- What are you doing? -(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)

Oh, what the fuck?

Help, dog! Help!

(GRUNTS)

What the...

-(GUNSHOT) -(MUSIC RISES)

What's up, motherfucker'? Arggh!

(GRUNTS)

Fuck.

(BOY GRUNTS)

(MAN SPEAKS SPANISH ON RADIO)

Oh, fuck that! Va'monos!

(SCREAMS)

(YELLS AND GURGLES)

Ohh!

13, motherfucker!

- Fuck, man, you all good? - You were kind of crazy.

Hey, we killed a lot of fools. Killed a lot of fools.

Let's get the fuck out of here, psycho.

Motherfucker, they killed Gas Money Kid and Camera Guy, man!

What the fuck you supposed to...

-(ROARING) - Oh, shit.

(SNARLING)

Run!

Go under, dog. Go under!

- Hold 'em off for me, dog! - Help me, you fucking psycho!

What are you doing?

Huh!

Just give me a second, fool.

(FIREWORKS POP AND BANG)

(BOY GRUNTS)

Oh!

(BOYS GRUNT AND YELL)

Arggh! Arggh!

Run! Get the fuck out of here!

Run! Arggh!

HAH!

Come on, motherfucker! Let's go!

(BOOM)

We're not dead, motherfucker! Don't stop till the border!

Hey, dog, I'm still rolling!

Me too! Let's go!

Do you feel as bad as I do about Gas Money Kid and Camera Guy?

Yeah. Come on, dude!

Hey, hold up, hold up! Something's slowing me down.

Dude, are you fucking serious? Let's go!

(BELLOWING IN DISTANCE)

(WHIMPERING)

MURMURS WEAKLY)

(SNARLING)

(MOANS)

(CRUNCHING)

REPORTER: Police are warning it's a very dangerous situation

they are struggling to stay ahead of.

There are now reports of 11 fires burning out of control across the city.

People should absolutely be staying inside.

Do not...

(SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE)

(DISTORTED SINGING ON PHONE)

Stop the fucking car! Please stop!

MALE PASSENGER: Trust me, baby. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

-(KEV SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) - What the fuck?

I need your help! I need your help!

- MAN: You fuck! - KEV: Get out of the car!

MAN: You keep going. Don't worry about that.

What are you doing?!

MAN: Keep going. We could edit that out.

Alright. And just ignore the guy driving.

Just forget... Don't even think about him.

Trust me, baby, I'm a pro at this.

Yeah, right there. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.

That's it. Take it slow, slow. Slow gets 'em.

Slow is what sucks 'em in.

Aren't you gonna join me?

MAN: I only like to watch, baby.

WOMAN: Make sure you're in focus.

(IMITATES SEXY MUSIC)

Yeah. They know they can't touch you, and it gets 'em even more.

- That's it, slow. - You don't recognise me, do you?

MAN: I do this eight days a week, baby.

I might have seen... I don't know.

I don't know why, but I don't know how to...

Now do you recognise me?

What? What the f...

- Turn around, you... - Sorry!

- Fuck with my rhythm! - Sorry.

One more. OK. Now keep going. Keep going.

- We could edit that out. -(SIRENS BLARING)

(HELICOPTER WHIRRS OVERHEAD)

That's it. Don't worry about anything.

We're in our own little sanctuary.

(WHISPERS) Yes, yes. Drowned in slow.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're good.

You're very... I knew you were hot.

- Yeah? You like... - Don't...don't talk.

It's better if you don't talk.

- Just show me. - OK.

That's it. Very good. Nice and slow.

That's it, touch yourself. Rub it. Attagirl. Yeah.

- Camera. Now! - What the fuck?!

(MAN WHIMPERS) Don't shoot my face! Don't shoot my face!

Who cares about your face, asshole?

Let's see that pretty body of yours.

- Go ahead, strip. - Fuck you, bitch!

Do it. Do it now.

How does it feel, huh?

Wow. You're the whole package.

I can't wait to introduce you to my mom.

Fuck this shit. Hundred bucks or no hundred bucks!

Keep driving.

Maybe I'll make your retarded friend strip next, huh?

A little threesome? What a turn-on you are, yeah.

- So good, baby. - Wait a second. I know you.

Yeah. Millions of guys do, thanks to your website.

It was your ex-boyfriend.

You shouldn't have dumped him, lady.

I didn't film you. All I did was buy the footage for my blog!

I got a blog. It's called nutlesswonders.com.

Oh, don't! Please, don't!

Lesson learned! Loud and fucking clear, man!

- I'll take it down. I promise! - My tits made you money.

So now I'm here for my cut. Here's the good part.

I bet people will pay to watch me shoot your dick off.

Want to see whose video gets more hits?

Let's make a hole in you and show the world.

Oh, yeah, bitch?!

Come on, let's see that star now, get this thing to turn out like I told you.

You want to do it now, bitch? Stick it out or I'll fucking turn it purple.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, who's got you now, you smart-ass?

-(SIREN WAILS) - Hey, you want a cut?

(ICE-CREAM TRUCK MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING RADIO CHATTER)

WOMAN: Something's going on.

This is absolutely insane. Are you sending out...

(INDISTINCT, OVERLAPPING RADIO CHATTER)

(DISTANT OPERA MUSIC)

(BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

(MAN SINGS OPERATICALLY)

IRIS: Help me! Kevin!

(BEETHOVEN'S 'ODE TO JOY' PLAYS)

(IRIS SCREAMS)

(MUSIC FALLS SILENT)

IRIS: Kevin.

Why are you so fascinated with this thing?

Don't keep me at arm's length, Kev.

(BURST OF OPERATIC MUSIC)

- KEV: I'm serious, little missy. - IRIS: Mm-hm.

- KEV: You mess with the bull... - IRIS: Don't cry.

IRIS: Yeah? It's our new spot.

KEV: What? You're gonna steal my childhood memories?

IRIS: No. We'll just make new ones.

- KEV: Promise? - IRIS: Promise.

(ECHOING) Iris?

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

- Kev? -lris?

You're filming it, aren't you?

That's so good, baby. That means we'll be a part of it.

A part of what?

We're gonna finish it.

What are you talking about?

(WHISPERS) I think you know.

Oh, my God.

It's been filming us the whole time. (ECHOES)

What the fuck?!

You're sick, Kev.

- We're all sick. - Oh, my God.

What did I do? Oh, my God.

What the fuck?

Iris, where are you? Iris, tell me you're OK.

Just start the upload.

I ca... I can't.

Haven't you ever wanted to be a part of something bigger than you?

You don't know what's happening out there.

These videos, they... they fuck people up.

Do it.

-(CLANG!) - Do it.

I...I can't. I can't do it.

-(CLANG!) - Do it.

I can't. I can't do it.

Haven't you ever wanted to be a part of something bigger than you?

You don't understand what's happening.

-(CLANG!) - Jesus Christ!

- Do it! -(CLANG!)

Fuck, fuck! Stop! Wait, wait, OK.

Stop, stop. I'll do it.

Fuck.

(MACHINERY HISSES)

(OVERLAPPING DISCORDANT SOUNDS AND VOICES)

IRIS: Gonna go viral. This shit's gonna go viral.

This shit's gonna go viral. This shit's gonna go viral.

- This shit's gonna go viral. - Oh, fuck. What did I do?

What the fuck? What have I done? No.

- This shit's gonna go viral. - What is going...

This shit's gonna go viral.

-(CLANG!) - Jesus Christ! Stop, stop!

- Stop it! - Gonna go viral!

This shit's gonna go viral! This shit's gonna go viral!

Gonna go viral! (LAUGHS)

(BEETHOVEN'S 'ODE TO JOY' PLAYS)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC)