Original subtitles

MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL,

WHO'S THE FEAREST OF THEM ALL?

HEH HEH HEH HEH.

LOOKS LIKE I JUST BOUGHT SEVEN YEARS' BAD LUCK.

SPEAKING OF BAD LUCK,

IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER NASTY LITTLE TERROR TALE

FROM MY CRAWLY COLLECTION,

AND THIS ONE'S GOT A MESSAGE, TOO.

IT'S A STORY ABOUT GREED,

DEATH,

AND A GIRL WHO LEARNED THAT BEAUTY

IS ONLY SIN DEEP.

HA HA HA HA!

WANT A DATE?

NO THANKS.

HEY, JOE.

GIRL.

OH, RAVEN.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, HONEY?

IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME

YOU STOOD AT THAT MIRROR

ADMIRING YOUR FACE,

I COULD GET OFF THESE STREETS

AND RETIRE TO THE BAHAMAS.

YEAH? WELL, THIS FACE IS MY MEAL TICKET, HONEY.

I'M COLD. LET'S GO GET SOME COFFEE.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT MY SHIT'S ALWAYS HOT.

OH, GOD.

HERE COMES MR. TROUBLE.

HEY, BABY.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

CAT'S MEOW.

MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW ABOUT YOU, SWEET THING, HMM?

A PRETTY GIRL LIKE YOU COULD USE A MANAGER.

YOU HEAR WHERE I'M AT?

YEAH? WELL, DON'T DO ME ANY FAVORS, PRINCE.

JUST TALKING BUSINESS, SWEET THING.

I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONCE.

YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN,

I'LL SHOOT YOUR DICK OFF.

YOU LISTEN UP, LITTLE GIRL.

THIS IS GROWN-UP TIME OUT HERE.

YOU WANT AN ATTITUDE,

YOU MIGHT NEED SOME PROTECTION.

A PRETTY GIRL LIKE YOU

COULD GET UGLY REAL FAST WITH AN ATTITUDE.

YOU HEAR WHERE I'M AT, SWEET THING?

HEH HEH HEH HEH!

SHIT.

REAL SMOOTH.

YOU KEEP THAT SHIT UP,

AND YOU AIN'T GONNA LAST

ANOTHER NIGHT OUT HERE.

YEAH? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO

LAST ANOTHER NIGHT OUT HERE?

WELL, GIRLFRIEND,

WHERE ELSE YOU THINK

YOU GOT THE RIGHT TO BE, HUH?

MMM.

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

IF IT ISN'T MR. GQ.

I TELL YOU, FOR THE RICH,

EVERY NIGHT'S A PARTY NIGHT.

DREAM ON, HONEY,

'CAUSE AIN'T NOBODY INVITED YOU.

WHAT'S SHE GOT THAT I AIN'T GOT?

HIM.

NOT FOR LONG, SHE DON'T.

OH, RIGHT. I'M FROM MISSOURI, HONEY.

SHOW ME, MM-HMM?

YOU CHECK THIS SHIT OUT.

YEAH. OK, SWEET THING.

I KNEW THAT YOU'D COME AROUND.

I'M SORRY I WAS ACTING SO MEAN.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SUGAR FOR PIMP DADDY HERE?

MMM.

SO, UH, YOU WANT TO TALK A LITTLE BUSINESS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

STRICTLY BUSINESS.

HEY, WH-WHAT'S UP, BABY?

GIVE ME YOUR JEWELRY.

YOU GOT TO BE CRAZY.

GIVE ME THE FUCKING JEWELRY, MAN!

YEAH. YEAH, OK. HERE.

LOOK, NOW, YOU KNOW

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS.

AND THE WATCH.

NO, BABY, NOT THE WATCH. PLEASE.

WHAT IS THIS, LET'S MAKE A FUCKIN' DEAL?

GIVE ME THE WATCH!

OR DON'T YOU SEE WHERE I'M AT?

YEAH, YEAH. I SEE WHERE YOU'RE AT.

HERE. HERE. JUST BE COOL.

AAH!

UHH!

UHH!

LIKE I SAID... STRICTLY BUSINESS.

RAVEN.

YOU'RE FREELANCE NOW, HONEY.

NO SHIT.

HOW'D YOU SAY YOU GOT THIS STUFF?

AN ACQUAINTANCE OF MINE HAD A...

A LITTLE ACCIDENT.

A TRUCK...

RAN OVER HIS HEAD.

OH, YEAH?

YOU BASTARD!

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

HA!

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WAS A TEEN IDOL.

SO HOW DOES THIS WORK?

I GOT TWO MONTHS OR SOMETHING

TO REDEEM MY STUFF?

HMM?

YOU GOT 4 MONTHS PLUS 12%...

IF I WAS GOING TO TAKE IT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT IF THIS WATCH WAS ANY HOTTER,

I'D HAVE BURNED A HOLE IN MY HAND.

I MEAN, A GUY NEEDS ASBESTOS GLOVES,

SOME OF THE SHIT THAT PEOPLE BRING IN HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT'S A $15,000 WATCH. LOOK AT THE DIAMONDS.

IT'S HOT. IT'S HOT IS WHAT IT IS.

YOU COULD FRY A BIG OLD EGG ON THE SON OF A BITCH.

I DON'T WANT TO BUY YOUR JEWELRY.

I AIN'T BUYING YOUR JEWELRY,

AND I AIN'T BUYING YOUR BULLSHIT STORY.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

YEAH? WELL, FUCK YOU.

NO. WAIT.

WAIT.

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED.

I AIN'T INTERESTED IN THEM THINGS,

BUT I CAN SEE

YOU GOT SOMETHING THAT'S WORTH A WHOLE LOT MORE.

SORRY, OLD MAN.

I JUST RETIRED FROM THAT BUSINESS.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT.

I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY.

MY BEAUTY. SILLY ME.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

YOU... YOU WAIT.

WAIT. WAIT.

$10,000...

IN CASH.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

FOR 10 GRAND,

YOU MAKE A MOLD OF MY FACE?

NOT YOUR FACE.

YOUR BEAUTY.

YEAH. RIGHT.

AND I GOT FOUR MONTHS TO REDEEM MY BEAUTY

IF I WANT IT BACK, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, OLD MAN?

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO PLAY WITH A FULL DECK,

THEN THERE'S YOU.

ALL RIGHT. NOW, YOU HOLD STILL NOW.

I HOPE YOU AIN'T CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

EWWW.

LEHTE MATSI.

LEHTE MATSI.

LEHTE MATCHI.

AEHTAO BETO.

ALMOST TIME, MY LOVE.

ALMOST TIME.

PRETTY SOON YOU'LL BE BACK WITH ME.

YOU'LL LOOK JUST LIKE YOU DID BEFORE.

LIKE THE DAY WE WERE MARRIED.

WELCOME TO THE PARTY.

OH. IT'S OK. BYE.

HELLO.

HELLO, YOURSELF.

ALL THIS YOURS?

MM-HMM.

LIFE'S TOUGH.

I GET BY.

I DON'T WANT TO

TEAR YOU AWAY FROM YOUR GUESTS.

WELL, I SAW YOU, AND LET'S JUST SAY

SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT CAME UP.

SOUNDS LIKE A CHEAP SEXUAL INNUENDO TO ME.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE AN EXPENSIVE ONE.

YOU DON'T THINK IT'S RUDE TO LEAVE YOUR DATE

TO GO MAKE A PASS AT ANOTHER WOMAN?

WHO'S MAKING A PASS?

WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET YET.

TRUE.

I'M SYLVIA VANE.

THAT'S V-A-N-E AS IN WEATHER.

I'M RONNIE PRICE AS IN EVERYONE HAS THEIRS.

DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT I THINK MISS CLAIROL

MIGHT BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA.

I WAS KIND OF HOPING THE WRONG IDEA

MIGHT BECOME THE RIGHT IDEA.

WHAT ARE YOU, A PSYCHO?

JUST PLAYING HARD-TO-GET.

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE RUDE

TO SLAP THE HOST

AND LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MR. PRICE.

YOU HAVE A LOVELY APARTMENT. GOOD NIGHT.

WAIT.

I DON'T KNOW

THE FIRST THING ABOUT YOU.

AT LEAST TELL ME WHY YOU CAME.

I HAVEN'T... YET.

LOOK, WE'RE BOTH PLAYING GAMES.

YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT.

THE TRUTH IS, YOU DO KNOW

THE FIRST THING ABOUT ME.

YOU KNEW THE SECOND I WALKED IN THE ROOM,

THE SECOND I WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR,

I'M THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS.

RIGHT?

YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

OH!

IT'S GORGEOUS.

NO, NO. CORRECTION.

YOU ARE GORGEOUS.

IT'S JUST REAL EXPENSIVE JEWELRY.

LISTEN, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID THE NIGHT WE MET...

THAT GIRL OF MY DREAMS STUFF?

MM-HMM.

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE SECRET.

YOU WEREN'T LYING,

EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

GRRR!

OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.

OH, DARLING.

OH, THIS IS IT.

OH, IT'S NICE.

OHH.

OHH!

GOD.

OH, YEAH.

LISTEN, I'LL ONLY BE GONE A COUPLE OF DAYS.

PROBABLY END UP

SITTING ON THE COMPANY JET SIGNING PAPERS.

IF I'M REAL LUCKY,

I'LL GET TO WATCH SOME FAT TEXANS GET DRUNK.

WON'T THAT BE EXCITING?

SWEETHEART, ARE YOU OK?

I JUST DROPPED SOMETHING.

WHAT IS THIS? THE MAKEUP COUNTER AT MACY'S?

YOU'RE A KNOCKOUT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

WHY DO YOU NEED ALL THIS JUNK FOR?

I DON'T KNOW.

I GOT AN ACNE FLARE-UP OR SOMETHING.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL.

WELL, WHEN I GET BACK FROM MY TRIP,

WE CAN GO TO THE PROM.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, HMM, SWEETHEART?

WHAT, ARE YOU PLAYING HARD-TO-GET AGAIN?

COME ON, ZIT-FACE, GIVE ME A KISS GOOD-BYE.

OH.

UH...

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

WELL...

IT DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE CANCER.

I THINK WE CAN SAY THAT FIRST OFF.

AND I THINK WE CAN ALSO SAFELY ELIMINATE

ANY PITUITARY DISORDER, SPECIFICALLY ACROMEGALY,

WHICH, FRANKLY, WAS MY INITIAL CONCERN.

YOUR MEDICAL RECORD DOESN'T INDICATE

ANY HISTORY OF RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY.

IS THAT TRUE?

WHAT, ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?

NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

IT'S JUST THAT SILICON INJECTIONS, IMPLANTS...

THAT KIND OF PROCEDURE CAN SOMETIMES RESULT

IN THE TYPES OF SYMPTOMS

THAT YOU ARE DISPLAYING NOW, THAT'S ALL.

YOU SEE, AS I EXPLAINED BEFORE,

DERMATOLOGY IS MY SPECIALTY.

YOUR PROBLEM COULD BE GLANDULAR.

BUT THERE ARE ANY NUMBER OF SPECIALISTS

THAT I COULD RECOMMEND.

ALL I WANT IS A SIMPLE ANSWER

TO A SIMPLE QUESTION.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FACE?

WELL, YOU'RE UNDER A GREAT DEAL OF STRESS.

OH, YOU FIGURED THAT OUT. LOOK AT ME!

48 HOURS AGO, I COULD'VE HAD ANY MAN I WANTED.

NOW I CAN'T EVEN GET ARRESTED.

I'M 21 YEARS OLD.

WHAT AM I GONNA LOOK LIKE TOMORROW?

MISS VANE, IF YOU'LL JUST SIT HERE FOR A MOMENT,

I WILL ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.

UM...

FRANKLY...

YOUR SKIN...

SEEMS TO BE AGING

AT AN ACCELERATING RATE.

NOW, THIS DOES NOT MEAN

THAT THE SITUATION IS IRREVERSIBLE,

BUT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU

TO TRY TO THINK BACK TO ANY TIME,

LET'S SAY WITHIN, OH,

THE LAST SIX MONTHS OR SO,

WHEN YOU MIGHT'VE COME INTO CONTACT

WITH A TOXIC MATERIAL,

FOR EXAMPLE, CONTAMINATED WATER,

OR GASSES,

RADIATION,

ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY

WHICH COULD'VE CAUSED THIS.

OH! MISS VANE?

MISS VANE?

GET OUT OF HERE.

DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH THIS MAN.

I WANT IT BACK. HERE'S MY TICKET.

10 GRAND PLUS 12%.

DIDN'T LOOK AT THIS TOO CAREFUL, DID YOU?

I TOLD YOU, THE TIME LIMIT WAS FOUR MONTHS.

FOUR MONTHS FROM THIS DATE IS THE 4th.

TODAY'S THE 5th.

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

I'M SORRY.

OK, HOW MUCH?

YOU MISSED THE DEADLINE, LADY.

I KNOW I MISSED THE FUCKIN' DEADLINE.

IF YOU WANT TO MARK IT UP, MARK IT UP.

JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH.

100,000.

HEY, JOE.

HOW'S TRICKS?

HEY, MAC.

MA'AM.

FOUR BITS YOU OWE ME.

YEAH.

MUST BE ALPO TIME, HUH?

WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY?

AAH!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHO ARE YOU?

RONNIE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?

JUST DON'T MOVE. I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

9-1-1. EMERGENCY.

YEAH. I'D LIKE TO REPORT A BURGLARY.

GO AHEAD.

THE ADDRESS IS...

SIR, ARE YOU THERE?

SIR, ARE YOU OK?

SIR, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

WHO ARE YOU?

DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME, LOVER?

I'M THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS.

AAH!

SHIT.

OHH.

THAT'S THE WAY SHE USED TO LOOK.

SHE USED TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL.

NOW I NEED OTHER WOMEN'S BEAUTY

JUST TO KEEP HER THAT WAY.

A SMALL PRICE TO PAY, I THINK.

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND

OF CRAZY VOODOO SHIT YOU'RE INTO,

AND I DON'T REALLY CARE.

B-BUT WE HAD A DEAL, MAN. LOOK!

ALL THAT'S WORTH MORE THAN $100,000.

NOW I WANT IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!

I WANT MY BEAUTY BACK.

SURE.

SURE.

I COULD DO THAT.

I COULD GIVE YOU YOUR BEAUTY BACK...

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

HEY, JOE?

HEY, JOE?

HI, MAC.

HOW'S TRICKS?

DID YOU READ THAT STORY

IN THE PAPER?

YEAH, I LOOKED IT OVER.

CLASSIC.

DUMB BROAD.

SHE STOLE EVERY SCRAP OF JEWELRY

THE GUY BOUGHT FOR HER.

THEN SHE OFFS THE GUY,

LEAVES THE MURDER WEAPON ON THE FLOOR.

DO YOU BELIEVE IT?

WERE HER FINGERPRINTS ON THE GUN?

NOT ONLY THAT,

THEY'RE ALREADY ON RECORD

FROM A SOLICITING RAP LAST YEAR.

WE'RE NOT TALKING

ROCKET SCIENTIST HERE.

THE SECOND SHE SHOWS HER FACE ANYWHERE,

IT'S A ONE-WAY TRIP

TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.

HELL OF A FACE, TOO, HUH?

OH, WELL. WITH A FACE LIKE THAT,

WHO NEEDS BRAINS?

UHH!

WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING,

YOU OLD, UGLY, TRIFLING BITCH!

POOR SYLVIA, EH, KIDDIES?

GUESS SHE HEARD THE OLD SAYING,

"IF LOOKS COULD KILL..."

SO SHE DID.

HEH HEH.

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU...

IF YOU WANT TO SELL YOURSELF,

TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST.

YECCHH!

WELL, SEE YOU NEXT TIME,

BOYS AND GHOULS.

HA HA HA HEE HEE!

HA HA HA HA HA!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org...