Original subtitles

Pig sty.

Hell , I don't know why you bofher.

You're not gonna get it to run .

To me, it's a Iabor of Iove.

Why don't you sell it for junk?

You won't get a Iot,

but the rubber would've to pay for something , no?

Ah , come here and gimme a hand .

A foot is what you'll get, right up your ass.

This is a business, Pig Sty.

You frigging well better not forget that.

You're paid to work, so work.

I don't know why I give you the chance.

You're never gonna amou nt of nothing else

but a jerk and a G D Ioser.

But not on my time, understand?

Ah , so I'm a loser.

But tell me I'm not a mechanic, eh?

Put me down , but I am at least blah .

Think you're hot shit, don't ya?

Just 'cause you're a winner, we're Iosers.

Eh .

Hey, but you win ners need Iosers to make ya Iook good ,

a bu nch of turds su rrounding a jewel .

That's a jewel?

That's enough outta you .

Get back to work.

You leave that wreck of yours alone.

Go put a coat of wax on M r. Karnaki's car.

Go on now.

I'm goin', I'm goin'.

You .

It's over three hours since you've been playing

with that screwd river. AII right already.

Get in fhere and stop talking back to the boys.

Get to work, will ya?

Get to work, will ya?

Get over there and do as you're told .

Oh !

That stupid son of a.

Whoa.

SIow down , good Iookin'.

She was you r mother too, huh?

Hey, Vince!

You're su pposed to be out in Corsica.

Yeah , who says?

What about the postcard you wrote?

One little bump and the frog police get real sticky.

Get in avec moi .

I'II take you for a drive.

H u bby.

It's great to see you .

Hey!

Hey, you'II break my sunglasses, ya stupid idiot.

They're Rainbow originals.

God , I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe you're home.

I can'f believe it.

Is anything eating you , Vince?

Lef's hear it, what's wrong?

You know that orphanage job I did here Iast year?

Peiro.

Yeah , why?

You recall the man?

I nspector something or other,

Sarti , I nspector Sarti.

Yeah .

Bastard ain't going on vacation

till he sees your brother buried .

That'II be that day he'll do that.

That that'II be the day.

Am I wrong?

Be the day.

It's a matfer of a girl's character, you know?

To me there's more than making love

out of sim ple animal atfraction .

U rsula.

U rsu la, darling .

You'd make it in a toilet with a hot chihuahua.

Oh , I'II have to remember that.

St. Bernard .

Well , well .

What comes in a French car?

The hunchback of Notre Dame.

Looking for snails.

Ciao.

What's your name?

My birth certificate reads Salvatore,

buf I'm really an U rsula.

U rsula.

See this watch?

Piaget's top model , crystal quartz.

Two m illion in the store.

Yes, but I already got a watch .

So why don't you buy another?

And why should I buy another?

Because then you can clock you rself goin' and comin'.

I hard ly recognize you , dear, in men's clothes.

Yeah , that's my basic black you're wearing , baby.

U p you rs and gay Iiberation .

Come on out of the closet, darling .

Piggy, who asked you to talk?

Nobody, but I'm against homosexuals.

I'm against it.

I just don't think it's nice.

Your brofher's entitled to a dissentin' opinion .

I'm gettin' friggin' tired of Iistening to you .

I'm gonna report this to Anita Bryant.

Fascist.

Now I got 20 in all .

It's a fire sale, see?

And it's just for you .

Now you take these, hu h?

I'm sure that a chick like you

that's as pretty as a picture

can unload 'em tonight at 200 apiece.

But they're fakes.

They're fakes, are they?

What you got there is the real thing .

My Iove is a good value and I got lots of fans.

Ah .

Famous as you are pretty, huh?

Well Iady, if you don't wanna end u p a dead woman ,

you better pass the watches.

Ain't Iivin' preferable?

But,

will you come back Iater for the money?

That's what you get for being so pretty, dear.

You hoftie beauty, you .

Yeah , well that's what I told him .

You d id not. Oh , for cryin' out loud .

Wait.

What you doin' there?

That ain't your fire.

Taking a piss, Iady.

Great, you put out my fire,

I'II freeze my ass off.

I'II warm your Iittle ass for you .

Ah .

You Neapolitan?

Yeah .

I'm a hunchback.

Touch me, it brings good fortu ne.

What's the fare?

It's five in the back seat,

1 0 behind the bushes, or 20 at my house.

Whaf do you prefer?

I pick the house.

I knew it.

You can always tell when a man has class.

Ooh , what a pretty car.

It's a Citroén , right? U h hu h .

Really pretty.

I'Il be right there with ya.

What for?

What do you mean Vince, what for?

Ain't no company needed when H u m po is gettin' humped .

Ciao, Vince.

Vince.

My God , such a man .

I don't know how to than k you .

Forget the compliments, Marie.

You know it's a fake, don't you?

No, all night you did it.

M ust be something kind of record , huh?

I wasn't trying to.

I'm not after records, Marie.

Don't make a m isfake, I'm not a sentimental type of a,

I don't know, it's just, I get embarrassed easy.

You know whaf I mean , Marie?

Oh . Yeah?

Be okay to visit?

I hope you do, though I'm almost never at home.

Anyfime you want, you know where to look for me.

You stick around here, all right?

Because you don't need to work

because I'm gonna take care of you .

You're gonna be my girl .

Want it?

I'II be here.

Ciao. Ciao.

How the hell d id you get here?

I got the address from one of the other girls

and I walked all night.

What do you want?

I wanna stay with you .

And I wanf to stay alone, Piggy.

The cops are on my ass, it's better I stay alone.

AII the more reason to be with you than , Vince.

If the cops come, I can whistle, right?

Don't you worry about it.

It's my ass and I'Il Iook after it.

On your way.

It's 1 0 o'clock.

Are you sure he's com ing?

He'II be here, he said 1 0.

Lousy stomach , I got an ulcer.

No thanks.

Ciao, Vince.

Bonsoir, M r. Perrone.

Isn't that nice?

How are ya? Monsieur Cold Cuts?

You made it too, huh?

Albanese is here foo.

I thought you re-imm igrated to the homeland .

I'm persona non com pos mentis.

You hear that?

We got to the point.

We're gonna have goons from Albania

come to share our bread .

Would you care for a drink?

The best, and I'm buyin'.

The best.

Oh , would you Iook at that roll .

Whaf do you say, Carmine?

One bottle of your best?

Yeah , toot sweet.

M ust have gone well in Corsica.

That's how you say not bad in French .

How long were you there all together?

Well,

1 6, 1 8 months.

About enough time to perfect the Francais.

See any French hu m pbacks, kid?

H is material , it's not bad .

I mean it's pretty original .

Yeah .

Man , I mean really, you could tu rn professional .

Give up your life of crime, huh?

H u h?

Engelweis?

No, merci.

Engelweis?

Already smoking , fhanks.

May I?

Yeah , sure.

So what about this project you got in mind for us, boy?

I'm getting ready to tell you all about it.

Would you Iike enough dough to retire on?

H mm?

Let's say that that depends on the type of job.

There's no killing involved ,

we'Il think about it.

These days, you gotta use this Iittle fella.

Yeah .

Use the head , do I understand you correctly?

And what have I always done, if not that, huh?

There's a bunch of dough in the neighborhood ,

six to 800 million Lira.

I nterested?

Yeah , you could say so.

Okay.

There's an armored truck of the Ban k of Rome

that every Tuesday, comes by at 1 2 precisely

to consign the dough , and it's all in cash .

Now the truck sits on Via Catalani ,

a sfreet which ain't got much traffic, get me?

You're puttin' Iike two cars on the corner

and the rest is a piece of cake.

And the escort?

You see, there's a couple, there's one in fhe rear,

and one next to the driver.

You got two is all .

Leave them to me.

AIbania, Albania.

I'm telling you man , violence ain't necessary.

Okay, so you might not get an orgasm ,

but the name of this game is money.

Get me, do you?

You won'f need your piece.

No trouble.

What are we gonna use to convince him ,

a water pistol , hunchback?

No, Albania.

What we use is this.

The hell's that?

This here's a gas bomb, kiddies.

You throw it at 'em , see?

Then in about, say, three to six seconds,

it puts 'em out stone cold .

It's so quick, they don't even have time to think about it.

Maybe call for help even .

PIus you get this cloud of smoke so thick,

they can't spot you .

I'm telling you .

What do you say?

Yeah , Iet's do it.

Count me in .

Albania, what about you?

I'm in .

Then we're in business.

I couldn't care Iess.

Welcome back, Sarti .

Sorry you had to cut short your vacation .

I bet you are, Vingozi .

N ice to see you back. Hey, I nspector,

can I go home now? Thanks, Pavel .

Hey Valenzi .

Hey.

How are ya? That's what I call

perfect timing .

Here, drink it while it's still hot.

Hey, would you Iike something to eat?

Great.

That damn night train .

I didn't get more than a half an hour sleep.

H u h .

How was Sicily?

The women .

Don't you ever think about anything else?

I got a small defect.

I'm nuts about women .

What's the story of H umpo, huh?

I suppose that's the reason they called me back.

You guessed it.

Ever since that city orphanage job,

he's been a real fhorn in your side.

Hey, old buddy?

Just my Iuck he escaped .

Well, here's your chance to put him behind bars.

Accord ing to our informers,

he suddenly reared his hump again right here in Rome.

I want that hunchback so bad ,

I can almost taste the bastard .

There went your vacation .

This time, H u m po won't be so slippery.

Yeah .

Let's Iook u p his friends.

Ciacci , Carm ine.

He's a fence, runs a bar on Tufelo.

Ancino Ugo, part-time pimp, no fixed address.

Di Gennaro, Mario, alias Cold Cuts.

I nd icted twice for armed robbery.

He now works part-time for a refrigerated meat outfif.

Zanni , Federico, smalltime hood .

Marazzi, Sergio, also known as Pig Sty.

AIso known as a hu nchback's twin brother.

I would say the most Iikely one is Pig Sty.

You're here again , eh?

Ciao, Vince.

Let's hear it, Piggy.

Nothing , it's just that I went by that gay guy

to get the money that she owed you .

Here, you wanna count it, you can .

You're trying to prove something to me, hu h?

Just what are you trying to prove?

I'm not trying to prove a thing .

Nothin'.

Ain't trying to prove a thing .

Only Mama when she was dyin', well I still remember,

she said her boys should stick together.

Remember, it was you she said it to.

She said it to you , not to me.

But you know what she was really saying , huh?

I'II tell ya, she was saying , watch out for the cripple.

He needs affection , that's what she was sayin', your mama .

I'm telling you .

But I don't need you , baby.

I say hello, screw being crippled .

And you better get used to it, asshole.

Vince, I'm not an asshole.

I'm not an asshole.

You call me an asshole every time,

and it jusf ain't fair.

AII of it ain't fair, ya asshole.

It's about time fhaf ya knew.

Okay, so we're twins.

Only Iisten ,

I was born before you .

AII alone.

I was 1 0 minutes old before you even got here.

Okay, I'm your elder brother by a full 1 0 m inutes, sonny.

And therefore it's you r duty to do as I say.

And I say quit breaking my balls, for Christ sake, will ya?

I didn't mean to break anything .

I'm sorry I made you mad .

Okay.

Okay, Vince.

Piggy's on his way.

See you around .

You really want to help?

Tell me.

I'Il Iet you know how and when ,

only Iet me decide, will you?

Don't call me, huh?

Let me call you .

Just wait for the call .

Right.

Ciao, Vince.

Ciao, Piggy.

What's that su pposed to mean?

What happens,

he always throws a Ieg in the infield and I Iose it all .

Yeah . AII set for tomorrow?

Yeah , everything's ready.

Bombs, masks, the Iot.

And we picked up two cars, couldn't be cleaner.

Don't worry.

It'II go smooth as oil .

There's only one inconvenience.

They're sure to recogn ize H umpo.

There's no way he can hide that back of his.

He's a marked man .

When they catch him , he could talk.

What are we gonna do?

It's his idea, wasn't it?

Is that worth going to jail for

when there's an easier way to hand le it?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking of?

Yeah .

I n all that confusion ,

if one of you were to put a bullet in the hunchback,

there'd be no more problem .

And fhen when we divide the Ioot three ways.

Am I right?

For a guy who didn't go to school ,

you sure got good arithmetic.

That's it.

The moment they open that door,

you hit 'em with the bombs.

No worries, eh?

Put on your mask.

I'll wait till they park.

Oh my God .

Let's do it!

Let's get outta here!

Move!

What about H umpo?

I hope you did n't screw up.

Did you get h im?

Couldn't swear to it, I cou ld n't see.

Step on it, for Christ sake.

Funny, wasn't fired .

Why wou ld they have dropped it?

I should have known I couldn't trust you to finish it.

Now I have cops and the hu nchback to worry about.

H u m po had to be hit.

There's no way, he couldn't be, even with all that gas.

Man , those plumes was fhick.

Couldn't see.

Now we gotta worry that he'll be out

looking for our asses.

Don't make sense.

He didn't see me fire.

More Iikely, he'd think he was shot by one of the escorts.

He's right there, AIbania.

Even if he ain't dead , what's there to worry about?

H um po is safe in a prison cell .

Yeah , well I intend to take precautions,

and you ought to do Iikewise.

Come on .

We got the money, Perrone.

Why don't you offer you r two boys a drink?

Celebrating is what we should be doing .

Is J&B acceptable?

Out the boss's box.

Here are, Cold Cuts.

To your wealth .

And to the ulcer.

Vince?

What happened to you?

Mama mia.

Vince,

what?

I mean , Vince, what happened to you?

I was an asshole.

Make me a bath , will you Marie?

Yeah , sure.

Be sure to call me when you have something more definite.

Bye.

May I go? Morning .

Yeah , go on .

Well , have a seat Pig Sty.

No, no.

Sorry, but Pig Sty is my name to friends.

For others, fhe name is Marazzi Sergio.

Got it.

Do be seated , Marazzi . Than k you .

Heard anything recently from your brother H u m po?

I nspector,

my brother H umpo don't Iike to be called that by a cop.

H is back is maybe twisted ,

but you'II never be half the guy he is, man .

So just Iet me tell you , my brother's name

is Vincenzo Marazzi .

All right.

Any news of the Signor Vincenzo Marazzi?

Not a thing .

Did you hear?

You could say.

I'm all ears.

He Ieft his calling card yesterday in Via Catalan i .

N u mber 1 6, that's the Bank of Rome, huh?

Yeah , well .

But, are you sure he was there in Via Catalani

in front of the Bank of Rome or do ya just think it?

I think so.

Eh .

But it's one thing to think it, it's another to be sure.

You can't accuse a person

just because you think he's guilty.

Tu rn off the faucet.

When was the Iast time you heard from Vincenzo?

Vincenzo?

Vincenzo, Vincenzo.

If's really Iong time now,

I've got to go Iook at my face in the mirror

every now and then to remember what he Iooks like.

I nspector,

here's the report, all typed up and ready for your perusal .

Ah .

Marazzi , wait outside for a m inute.

Su re, I nspector.

Gentlemen .

The prints on the gun and the ones inside the van

belong to none other than Vincenzo Marazzi ,

alias H umpo.

I was right on .

All we gotta do is find him and we find the money.

That's all .

And we're breathing down his neck, Valenzi .

That oughta be very easy.

Put a tail on that one, righf?

The Iighter.

Pig Sty.

Where is that man?

The one I was inferrogating . He asked to go to the can .

I figured that would be all right, so I ,

Iooking for him , are ya?

You have such a flare for psychology.

But now, we got two twins to find .

Marie.

Speaking .

You got it all straighf, have ya?

Please, you're talking to a smart girl .

I passed fiffh grade.

Repeat it.

Okay, I go see your friend .

I say fhaf you sent me.

I give the dough , he gives me a .38 Magnum

and the correct shells that belong to it.

Do I pass?

A plus. I go now?

Yeah .

Don't fail me. Don't worry.

And don't Iet anybody in , hu h?

Don't worry about it, kid .

Don't worry about it.

Are you the owner here?

Yeah . I wanna check

your Iiquor license.

Sure.

Hey, Vince.

You don't go and kill the three of them ,

you'Il be the chu mp of the decade.

Gef me, do ya?

Gef me, do ya?

Here's to ya, kid .

To your health .

Ooh .

Nothing , Vince.

We did n't even get a chance to talk.

In fronf, there were two police cars.

Could n't get near, a regular army, it was.

But I wasn't gon na come back with nothing .

So I bought this one at that toy sfore on fhe hill .

It was a realest looking one in the place, Vince.

Come here.

lCE lN DUSTRIES

That's a pretfy outfit.

Buy one for your wife.

Be seeing ya. N ighty n ight.

Meat and Fish Refrigerating Company.

It's your half a dollar.

Hello?

Hello?

Wanna light?

Bonsoir,

Cold Cuts.

Vince.

Gee, I'm glad to see ya.

I was scared you got killed in the robbery.

Please, let me explain the situation .

Explain it. It wasn'f my fault.

It was their idea.

And me they woulda knifed if I said anything .

The money, Vince, my share of fhe loot.

I got it all saved for ya, Vince. Honest.

The whole wad .

Where's the stash?

I nside the fridge.

What's that?

Nothin'.

Nofhin' to worry about.

It's a signal that it's refrigeratin' all right.

You really got good eq uipment here.

I'Il go get the money.

Right?

All right.

Before it freezes.

Yeah , cold cash , huh?

Hot money turned into cold cash.

May I?

Be my guest.

Just one sec, will you wait for me?

No!

Vincenzo!

Open the door!

Vincenzo!

Oh Christ

I don't wanna die.

Vincenzo!

Don't make me die!

Not like this, Vince!

No!

No, Vince!

Hello? Perrone?

Who's speaking?

Perrone, it's H umpo.

Visiting a friend .

Cold Cuts.

Cold Cuts?

How's that friend doing?

How is he, H u m po?

Cold Cuts has a bit,

a bit of a cold , I'm afraid .

Me, I'm feelin' hot.

You feel hot, Perrone?

Hell no.

Why shou ld I feel hot?

Oh , I don't know. Your attention , please.

Priority local call for the number 564-9672 .

That's you , Perrone boy.

Befter let it through .

Sounds urgent. At this hour?

Eh?

Never know, Perrone.

Yeah , yeah .

Be seein' ya.

Ciao.

Hot?

Why shou ld I feel hot?

I'm as cool as a cucu m ber, actually.

Hello?

Is this Perrone?

Yes, this is he.

Who? Better come down here.

Fire. Are you kidding?

Hold it, you're not allowed there, Paulie.

You're gonna have to-- PIease, sergeant, please.

I'm fhe owner of this showroom .

Just calm down .

Officer, please.

Don't just stand there.

My current store's a hundred m illion , officer.

It's too hot.

Can't you feel the heat?

We're Iooking for a window.

H urry.

Increase the pressure.

Little over to the right.

Thank you .

Hey, Pig Sfy.

There's a telephone call for you .

It's probably the cops.

I don't know what they're tryin'.

No, no, somebody who says he's a brother of yours.

Hello?

Hey Vince, where are ya?

That's my business.

I'm in need of a favor.

AIl you gotta do is ask.

Tell me.

Can you find me an AIbanese, Piggy?

An AIbanese?

Yeah , by tomorrow.

It's something urgent.

That'II be easy, I know a couple.

You're free tomorrow, are ya?

Say about 1 , 1 :30?

Yeah , one.

I'll be here tomorrow with the Albanese.

Good boy. So Iong , be seeing you fhen .

Take care, Vince.

Listen , Pig , find me an Albanese

and everything will work out.

Ciao, kid .

Ciao, Vince.

Hey, Vince.

I got one for ya.

This here is my brother, Signor Marazzi .

You can trust him , Vince.

Albanese Osvaldo.

Your brother's a terrific guy, sir.

A pleasure to know you , sir.

U nfortu nately for me, it's no pleasure.

Hey, Vince.

Hey Vince, your ass, Piggy.

I told you an AIbanese, did n't I?

Well what's wrong with this fella?

That's whaf his name is, Osvaldo AIbanese.

Right?

For Christ's sake, show you r I D card .

There'Il be no need for that.

No need .

I asked for a Iittle favor, huh?

And you were gonna help me.

I don't understand .

Bring me an AIbanese, a real one outta Albania.

You've heard of the cou ntry, Piggy?

Where am I gonna Iook, huh Vince?

Your ass is in a rut.

ALBAN lAN EM BASSY

Good morning , Consulate of AIbania, office of passports.

Can I help you?

Is your name Marika?

Yes it is.

You were born in AIbania, right?

Yes, of course.

But who is this, please?

Mm , your husband's name is Bonigno Giavva, right?

Yes, buf could you explain?

We've got your husband , Iady,

and it's gonna be his ass

if you don't do what we tell you fo.

H is missus got the message.

Yves Saint Laurent

I n AIbania.

Please excuse me.

Could you just wait a second?

What is it? You speak AIbanian?

You speak AIbanian?

I hope you can help me.

But she is Albanian Iike me!

Ah , what luck, you can help me. I'm in Rome for a few days

I don't know the city and can't find

my way back to the hotel .

I can show you the way if you'd Iike.

Great, thanks!

Hey guys, you guys just go ahead .

I'll meet you in the usual place.

Beautiful , huh?

I tell you , N icky,

a night between her Iegs, I'd be willing to meet the Lord .

By the Iook of it, sir,

it was somebody who had a score to settle.

Fou nd anything at all?

The men that killed him , documents?

No, we're searching the surround ing terrain fhough

for the shell casing , hopefully.

Assuming the man was murdered here.

Listen , when you get this guy on ice,

send his prints on down to central .

The usual run .

M ilo Dragovich , born in AIbania.

I n this country sentenced twice for swindling ,

once for assault and batfery,

and indicted for attempted robbery.

And guess who with .

You can't be serious.

There's more than 1 0,000 robbers here in Rome.

That's right, Valenzi .

And the AIbanian was indicted for attempted robbery

along with a certain Mario di Gennaro, alias Cold Cuts.

M r. Cold Cuts died recently

in circumstances less than clear.

That suggest anything to you?

Wait a sec.

Cold Cuts was a pal of H u m po's.

Very good .

It was those three who ripped off the armored fruck.

H umpo is eliminating the others fo get all the money.

Yeah , I think you're right.

On the other hand , I also don't think he's finished quite.

AIert the morgue, they'll be seeing other corpses.

Or M r. Average cifizen can go plant his butf

in a communal barroom waiting for the results.

But not us, we gotta get the killers.

Why bother?

They kill each other, they make it easier on us.

Why bother?

Okay. Valenzi , I'II tell ya,

the hunchback didn't ask our permission .

Give me a light, come on .

All right, jusf remem ber, the early bird catches the worm .

I know, you prefer spaghetti .

I've heard that one before.

N umber nine.

To all u nits in the city, stay in the area .

We got six hunchbacks for you , I nspector.

Not one with the right documents.

Very good .

AII right, furn around .

I nspector, What do you want from me?

Listen , I'm an honest citizen , I'm a hard worker.

Yeah , what kind of work do you do?

Circus work with the Rin Tin Tin .

I got 50 years in circuses and carn ivals.

And what about me?

I got 1 2 pairs of shoes to put heels on by tomorrow.

J ust because we're hunchbacks don't mean we're criminals.

I don't have time for these guys.

Get 'em outta here.

That's all for today, fellas.

You can go.

Get a move on , Marie.

I'm gonna go nice and slow.

The area's crawling with cops.

I don't wanna be noticed .

You're smart.

All the way to fifth grade.

You tell my brother.

H m m?

That if the cops get him ,

he better swallow a couple of cigarettes.

With or without filters?

Piggy, don't ask silly questions.

This is no joke, Piggy.

What he told me to tell you , you got told .

Listen , I mean , if my brother told me

to eat a piece of steamin' camel shit,

I mean I'd do it, righf?

But would you explain what happens fo me

when I eaf the cigarettes?

It gives you a fever worse than you ever saw.

And speaking of which , your brother said to tell you ,

said to tell you that when you get delirious,

you gotfa really watch what you're sayin'.

Tell Vince he ain't got noth ing to worry about from me,

huh? Right, Piggy.

You understand everyfhing .

Bye.

Ciao, Marie.

And tell Vince that his kid brother

would eat a whole carton in one go if he was to ask me to.

I ain't gonna ruin his rep, you know?

I'll give him the message.

Ciao, Marie.

I'II bet they was non-filtered .

Hey Stutz, gim me one of your cigarettes, will ya?

With two brands, I can't go wrong .

AIl right, than ks.

U h oh , Pig Sty, fhe cops are com in'.

Get your ass outta here, Stutz.

Oh , you off your nut?

There are times when I wann na eat Iunch without company.

You were stand ing only two meters away

and you heard nothing and you saw nofhing .

Thanks. No, not a thing .

Not a thing .

What the hell happened fo him?

We found him on the ground with his eyes looking funny

Iike he was on drugs.

He was shaking like a leaf.

He didn't open his mouth until now when he began whimpering .

Sir.

I'm dying . He's got a fever.

Put him in the chair.

You Iook a Iittle sick, Pig Sty.

I'm sick.

I'm dying .

I'm going .

Yeah , I'm going .

Ah .

No I'm not 'cause I'm gone already.

Ah .

H i , Jesus.

Wow, you cou ld have stepped out of a church window.

Mama, your Piggy is here.

Listen , Jesus,

there's a flock of guys gefting rich off you on Earth .

You know that?

You're one of the wellest known guys down there,

bigger than King Kong .

I nspector, he's hallucinating .

Knock if off, you talk too much

Listen . It's a pretfy day.

Listen , Pig Sfy,

why don't you tell Jesus where you r brother can be found?

Now, you don't want to Iie to Jesus

or you'II be boofed into eternal hellfire.

The devil .

He wanfs to know fhe hiding place of my Vincenzo.

Hear me, Lord .

But they don't got no right to judge.

Jesus only, you got that right.

Right, Jesus, huh?

He'll put it nice in that scene with CIaudia Cardinale.

Yeah , if there's a man among you without sin ,

good people, then he should throw the first stone.

Yeah .

It's all those ofhers, they're the real devils.

They don't pay aftention to you , Jesus.

I'm tired of fhis, Pig Sty.

I'm tired of it! They're the ones

that belong down in hell .

Just 'cause they went to school ,

they think they're higher than God .

See, they get eternal fire

'cause they ain't got your permission to go around judgin',

to toss a stone at my Vincenzo.

I remem ber in another scene in that picture,

you said the Iast would be the first, didn't you?

But no one is perfect, Jesus.

We understand .

Because there's a part you Ieft out.

It should have been the Iast would be the first,

but in the shit.

You're a sensational Iooking guy, you know?

I never thoughf I'd see the day.

Vitti , call for an am bulance immed iately.

The proprietor of the jewelry store

was shot up pretty bad .

He said there were three men in all

wearing masks and heavily armed .

They reportedly made their getaway

in a red Giulia, otherwise unidentified

Later, a red Giulia was seen speed ing down near Verano.

So hold your roadblock until further orders.

I repeat, hold your roadblock until--

We got you .

I nspector Sarti is here now, over and out.

Sergeant, we just found that red Giulia

abandoned in fronf of the Palazzo Movie House,

which means fhey may still be in the area

trying to pick up another car.

So keep your eyes open .

We always do, sir.

Hold it right there.

Let's see your driver's Iicense.

Hey!

I'II cafch you , you little pu n k.

AII cars, this is Sarti , AP.

Be on the Iookout for a white Fiaf,

Iicense Rome 72355.

What do you want with me?

What do you want?

I'II explain .

You're going down to headquarters.

'Cause it's my guess you ripped off that jewelry store.

And when I get you there, you're gonna talk to me.

Rats like you are real easy to break, yeah .

I demand to see my Iawyer.

I nspector. Yeah?

This car is registered to a certain M ilo Dragovich .

Isn't he fhe one that was found murdered last week?

The AIbanian .

The original owner was you , Signor Perrone.

We find that very interesting .

I sold the car Iast April .

It's written right there.

Yeah .

This fellow M ilo Dragovich , alias the Albanian ,

the one who bought the car from you , d id you know him well?

Come on , I nspector.

I run an automobile showroom .

That is, I ran one.

Selling cars is my business.

I don't think I'd have much success

if I sold only to friends.

That make sense?

Makes sense.

What doesn't is why anybody set fire

to your showroom Iike that.

Do you have enemies?

No.

That fellow you arrested driving my car,

I don't remem ber his face, I assure you .

That's not what I asked you .

I asked if you had any enemies.

I n the sense of a sworn enemy?

No.

Then how do you explain the arson job on your showroom?

Jealousy, I'd say, I nspector.

Envious competition , the usual .

Ah , and you also think that the Albanian

and his suave cohort, Mario Di Gennaro, alias Cold Cuts,

got iced because of jealousy on the part of a com petitor?

Do ya, hu h?

An envious com petitor?

It's not for me to say,

but I'm sure you guys will get it sorted out.

Get outfa here.

Outta here!

Oh , by the way,

I heard H umpo has returned to Rome.

Well?

I've got a hunch Perrone was right in fhe middle

of fhaf armored truck job.

Let's put a tail on him for a while.

A lot of good that will do.

Either we nab Humpo, or your Perrone's screwed .

It's gonna take a Iittle doin'.

This gang of rough nuts.

And Perrone is Iike a cornered rat.

Vince, these guys are rougher. That there is Ru m ble.

This is Gigi .

Gigi . That's the Panther.

They call him the Panther because he's as fasf

as he is deadly.

They're the best boys in town .

Vince, I ran into those two guys that worked with Piggy.

They told me your brother was arrested .

A police car pulled into that place he was working

and they took him away.

Away where?

I don't know.

It's mysterious.

I was looking since morning and my shoes hurt,

feet feel Iike they're boilin'.

But I couldn't do nothing about it.

I mean , I checked all the jails and he's not in any of 'em .

Vince, you're going to have to beat it.

Come on , Marie.

Come on , Marie.

Maria.

Eh .

I want you to go find out

what the goddamn fuzz has done with junior.

And don't skimp on the bus fares.

We'II find him , Vince.

Had to happen someday,

that they'd stick Piggy in a can .

Had to be.

Piggy, I'm awfully sorry that I ever got you into this.

SAINT MARY OP M ERCY PSYCH lATRIC HOSPITAL

Feeling a Iittle better, are you , Marazzi?

Better, I would say.

Right.

But one of my eyes is all blurry.

Ah , now I can see a litfle better.

Why can't I move my arms, Doc?

The reason for that is as follows,

you are in a straitjackef.

Ow!

Now my knee hurts too, you bastard , you .

What the hell'd you bang me for, you flip?

Calm down , I said .

That is calmed down .

You are a nutcase.

Young man , you are the nutcase.

What'd you say? You're in the Iooney bin .

Where you taking me?

Ah , fhere you are, Marazzi .

Sit down please.

AII right, Marazzi .

We brought you here to go over the cu rrent state

of your health .

The analysis show that physically you're fine.

Heart's normal , liver okay.

BIood pressure's a Iiftle high , but it's within the Iimits.

Does that mean I can go then?

Not yef, Marazzi .

You're gonna pass one more examination , young man .

Examination? Don't worry.

We're not going to hurt you .

It's a word game.

I'm going to posit a Iist of words

and I want you to answer with the first word

that comes to your mind .

U nderstand?

Seems silly, but I Iike games.

Respond im mediately, to take time is forbidden .

Friggin'.

I beg your?

Frigging , you put your th ing in , that's frigging .

Listen , Marazzi ,

the head shrink will do the questioning .

Not vice versa.

Who's vice versa?

We are ready to begin .

I will say a word and you will answer.

I'll make an example for you .

Should I say I reland , you respond potato.

Not thinking about it.

Can we begin the game?

Eh , tell me a word .

Oh , that's what I like, cooperation .

All right.

FIower.

U h .

Frigging .

That's it, Marazzi .

Now you've had your Iittle joke.

I have no more time to lose.

Ah , but I do.

Come on , Doc, what about my time?

What do you call this, huh?

You're mistaken because I ain't joking .

From the time I get u p in the morning here,

I get frigged arou nd .

Maybe I should have answered your what, I don't know.

Mozzarella. Have you finished?

Now we can go forward .

Yeah .

H u mpo.

Hero.

Robber.

Senator.

Cuckold .

Head shrink.

Idiot.

Well, fuck you too.

You Iittle shit! A cross-eyed hyena

slipped into the sack with a monkey

and you know what happened?

Get the orderlies in here.

Orderly!

What, you mean that I can't go?

This is worse than Russia.

Put h im in isolation .

Hey Doc, I fhought I passed this test.

What do you want me to say?

That I Iove you , I'II say it.

This is nuts, I'm not crazy.

I want you to phone Sarti ,

say that we've completed the examination

and the results are positive.

That the patient Marazzi Sergio

portrays signs of paranoia and acute schizophrenia .

Therefore I hereby commit him to the asylum

for a stay of u ndetermined length .

DOCTOR J H BASSAN , DENTIST

Good morning .

You're always on time, aren't you?

And you're always pretty.

Every Tuesday and Friday from 1 0 to 1 0:30.

He must be getting himself some very fancy bridgework done.

What's the street like?

It's just one way.

N ice and quiet.

And by that hour, anyway.

When all this crap is finished ,

I promise to fake you for a meal .

One of those restaurants, you know, real chic.

Really, Vince.

Yeah , really.

Oh .

And after that, you know what I'd Iike to do?

Tell me.

Something romantic.

Go to the most special joint.

Just me and you .

You could be dressed for change and go dancing .

Okay?

You're gonna be needing a new gown .

Yeah .

I want you to pick it out.

I'll get you a beauty.

I'm well known for my good taste.

You're serious. We're goin' dancing .

You're a prince.

J usf my rotten Iuck.

Who's there?

Panther.

Come on in . Ciao, Maria.

I bring you good news, Vince.

It's about time.

We found out where they holding Pig Sty.

Yeah , where?

The Santa Maria Del Pieta, fhe looney bin .

I bring you good tidings.

That badass cat burglar has been cut.

Yeah , who gives a damn?

What?

Listen , Valenzi ,

I got an idea.

Can you recom mend an agent,

a frustrated actor type to pretend he's bananas?

And we plant him up in the funny farm .

Just what are you driving at?

I'II explain .

We put him next to Marazzi

and our fella very very kindly shows him

how he can beat it out of the joint.

You think that Piggy, once he's out,

will try to make contact with his brofher?

H u mpo.

So you'll kill two birds with one stone.

The only bird that I'm interested in

is that lousy cripple.

I think I've got just the right man for you .

Used to be an actor, character parts.

Pass me to central casting .

Naturally. I was kidd ing .

Let me talk to Esposito.

That's right, Esposito.

Where are you ru nning fo, eh?

You gotta do a what?

Weeing's against hospital rules as of today.

No more wee?

There's no more wee.

Bye!

It's great, it's great to be nuts.

Put his tongue in my mouth .

Cigarette?

Kind you got?

Pack fucking says filters.

No, filters, I don't digest so hot.

My, it's a nice afternoon .

If you say so.

Listen , I'll tell you a secret.

I'm not crazy.

You're looking at the president of Petrol Gas.

Oh , how do you do?

Me?

Napoleon Bonaparte.

No, you're not gonna get away.

You're not gonna get away!

That's not nice.

Just go play with your oil .

You know,

to me you're the only bug I don't Iike in this bin .

Piss off.

I said you're not getting away.

M ind explaining why I can't go, huh?

Because you were the one that did it.

And the fact is Arabs Iike you are not--

President, you're out of your skull .

Man , you're clean out of your skull .

See, Colonel Gaddafi is a close friend .

He'II go to war.

AII I gotta do is ask.

Gaddafi, huh?

War with EIba, huh?

He does, I guarantee I'II have his Waterloo waifing .

No, no, no, listen , wait a second .

Don't go.

Don't go away, man .

Man , just what do you want?

I got an idea.

Listen .

I know a way to get outta here.

If you'II be friends with me,

we'II escape together in a few days.

But you gotta promise to take me, to help out.

H u h?

You in?

Let me think about it.

Careful , here comes a witch doctor.

Wifh a bag of cigarettes.

Oh , sorry, I thought you were Ellen .

My cousin , you mean .

The poor girl got her ankle sprained .

I'm a substifute for a cou ple of days.

PIease, do come in . Thanks.

Are you as good an assistant as your cousin?

I don't mean to sound immodest, but I'm better even .

Don't be worried . Mr. Peronne.

I'm an old pro.

Sit down , I'II get you ready.

Thank you .

And the doctor?

I n the lab, he's preparing the drill .

I won't need that.

J ust the usual clean , thanks.

Ah , no.

You're gefting special treatment today.

I hope after today,

I won't have to come again for a while.

Yeah .

Don't worry, you won't have any more need .

I hear moaning .

It's fhe doctor.

He's got a problem with his mouth too.

Be good , Doc.

Wish we'd get started .

He'll be right along , I prom ise you .

Vince.

What are you gonna do?

We're gonna have to operate.

U nfortunately, I can't give you nothing for pain .

CAR DEALER ADALBERTO MARIA PERRON E DIES OP H EART ATTACK lN DENTIST'S CHAIR

Sarti , there's a telephone call for you ,

Sergeant Esposito.

Here you go.

He's got the call . I'm right here.

Esposito, what's happening?

He went for it, I nspector.

So please Iisten carefully, I can't talk long .

We're going tonight at three a.m .

For sure. Yeah .

I should get an award .

He's not a bit suspicious.

My uncle's gonna provide a car for us.

Right, what's your preference?

Giulia, if possible.

Ah , it's very im portant that the radio transmitter

be well hidden .

We don't want to take chances.

Consider it done, don't worry.

The minute you two arrive at the hunchback's place,

be su re to get in d irect contact with me.

Roger that. Best of luck, Esposito.

Thanks.

Do you think we'II get H u mpo?

Young Iad , we're gonna sock it to him .

I only hope that Piggy can find his way here by car.

He'II find his way.

You're doing too much drinking , Vince.

Marie,

where do you think the Iead for my pencil comes from?

I'II buy another bottle.

Th is is what my mom weaned me on .

Well, I'll see you back here in a little while.

Move your ass, prez, or you won't make it to EIba.

Oh no, it's the whistler and he's heading this way.

Over here.

You watch the corridor.

Okay.

Okay, come on this way.

Hey, man .

Open the door.

It's one of those doors that open only with a key.

You're screwed .

Do something .

H urry.

I'll try pickin' it.

I'm pickin'.

The whistler's coming back.

Don't make a sound .

I'm sorry, honest.

I'm sorry.

I'll make it u p to you

when we get to EIba.

You go first.

Here we are.

U ncle Mickey's a man of his word .

If fhe word was bunkle instead of uncle,

he'd be a carbuncle, your uncle.

Pretty clever, eh?

For a man who's president of Petrol Gas,

you ain't bad behind the wheel , kid .

I always thought oil men had chauffeurs.

Napoleon , you haven't told me what roads to fake.

Keep going on the Tiburtina straight.

J ust keep going straight.

And at the Marina bridge,

you better consult with a navigafor again .

Man in white suits up ahead .

Identification please, sir.

Hey, Vince.

This bum , the minute he started talking to me,

I smelled.

Smell the cop, you know what I mean?

Here you are, president.

Show your identification .

Eh? What are you gonna do to me?

You ask too many questions.

I magine trying to fool the Marazzis.

Yeah .

He's the worst actor I ever saw.

Jesus, that's what I call organization .

Hey, you know fhaf map you sent me inside the orange?

The acid had eaten the in k.

I could n't make out which bridge if was,

Marina or M illville.

Yeah , you did good kid .

But now Piggy,

I'm gonna have to ask you to stay away from me

because I have things to do.

Come on , I'II take you home fo Rome.

Who?

Esposifo?

Very well .

I'Il Iocate him im mediately.

Rossi . Yeah?

Go find I nspector Sarti .

He said he was going out for coffee.

Tell him it's urgent.

Sergeant Esposito on the telephone,

says he's Iocafed the hu nchback's hideout.

1 0 kilometers out on the Viati Bertina.

Here's the directions.

Right, I'm away.

That's it, turn right here.

Well , Mangoze?

We got here just before you .

Strange that there are no houses around .

Are you sure he said this was the place?

I don't get it.

The man said to go to the 1 0th kilomefer and turn right.

Esposito's no fool .

Let's look around .

Could be a squatter.

Go on .

Go after it,

whatever it is you see.

Inspector!

Esposito.

Get your finger outta your rectu m , ya silly Iooking bastard .

A man or fwo over here.

Come on , who will volunteer?

Have them call an ambulance.

What, ambulance for this?

We need the pig shif squad .

You wait here.

Don't move.

Merci, Vince.

J ust park here, okay?

Yes sir?

I said yes sir.

No.

You shouldn't do that. I'm sorry sir,

but you can't go in .

This is a private club reserved for members only.

I'II see. I'm the manager.

What's going on here?

Who are you? Look, asshole,

see my boys there?

Use your head , asshole.

No offense.

PIease.

Gentlemen .

Th is way. Go ahead , Marie.

Okay man , don't let in no one else.

'Cause tonight is strictly Maria's

and I don't want nothing to ruin it.

Get me?

And unplug all the telephones.

Take my hand , Marie.

There, that table's free.

I'm su re you'll be comfortable there.

I prefer that one over there.

I'm sorry, sir.

No, Vince, come on , don't worry about it.

Over there'll be okay.

Marie, Marie, Marie.

Trust me.

That table ain't to my Iiking , give me that one.

It's reserved , I'm trying to tell you .

That table is reserved?

And who might have reserved it?

H u h?

Some politician ouf Iaying stolen dough on his mistress?

No, it belongs to a big industrialist.

A big ind ustrialist?

That's another way of saying a big bullshitter.

Eh?

I was only kidd in'.

You Iook so serious.

Tonight, I'm ouf to have a good time.

Here you are, a hund red thousand .

Now can I have that one there?

Of course, be seated .

I will .

Go on , be seated , Marie.

Let's get the drinks going .

You stay here.

Vince? H uh?

You mind if I dance with Romolo?

You're big enough to choose your partner, ain't ya?

But what's the matter with me?

No, I thought it'd be hard for you .

Yeah , well you're wrong Marie.

I think that you're em barrassed .

No.

I'II just finish this drink.

Come on .

Am I a good dancer?

Or am I? Wonderful .

I must say he's well d ressed .

He got special tailoring to the hump.

Look, she's rubbing it for good Iuck.

He's Iikely to try and hu m p me down .

Vince. Yes?

Come on , let's go.

You don'f wanna dance?

Have a beer. I'II be with Romolo.

Okay, sit down .

All of ya.

Everyone, the floor show's about to start.

Some of ya.

Whoo.

Madam

y monsieur, bonsoir.

I have come to entertain you .

Are you ready for the show?

Buf first I'd Iike fo ask,

I should think that in a big group Iike you ,

there's probably at Ieast a few constructors

or people who rent apartments.

You got one right here.

Well , you've got a great chance right now

to sell a hunk of real estate.

'Cause I know hunchback that needs a gabled house.

You Iike that one, did ya?

Now I'II tell you a story.

It's a long one, so you gotta be patient.

A brother of mine told it to me, in fact.

Oh , he's bad , thaat brother.

He's basically sweet, but more than a Iiftle vu lgar.

He'd be too much for you .

Okay, now once, Iet's see,

once upon a time fhere was his princess,

just for starters, and I mean a real princess.

Is there any royalty amongst this bunch tonight?

One or two countesses, at least.

And anyway, she needs a butler.

And this man rings her bell one day and he says,

I wan na work.

I wanna buttle.

This man had one defect,

though .

He had a filthy mouth , you know?

He didn't have a nice accent, Iike all you royalfy.

This guy goes to work.

And one morning a countess calls u p our princess.

The butler answers the phone,

he says, yeah?

Eh ,

wait, I thought I forgot, the old countess,

she says, can I please talk to the M rs. Princess?

He says, you have to wait.

She's fakin' a shit.

I magine the poor princess's reaction

When the count is calls her Iater

and tells her about all this.

She'II just have to teach him better manners, she says.

After all , he's just a peasanf, et cetera.

She says, okay, I'll talk to him .

So it's about a week later.

The phone rings.

Yeah?

It's our countess friend again .

She says, may I please talk to the M rs. Princess?

And our hero, he says she's in the bathroom .

Oh yeah?

Well , the countess thinks, his manners are better.

I see the princess is able to talk to the peasantry.

Listen , is the princess gonna be Ionger?

And this guy goes,

all I can tell you is she jusf started tootin'.

Why should gentlemen put up with such riff raff in here?

Did I hear you correctly?

Oh boy.

Gimme the equalizer.

Come on , come on .

Are you ready for act two?

Let me advise you as to who I am .

I'm the one and only Marazzi Vincenzo,

better known as H unchback of Rome.

You've heard of me, eh?

The gentleman's righf, we're riff raff

and you're high society.

I n fact, you're really the hoi polloi .

So what are we doing here anyway, huh?

You see, we felf Iike taking a Iook at our enemy,

eyeball to eyeball .

To put it blu nt, to see you firsthand in your Iair, huh?

Us riff raff, you know, we got an excuse that you ain't got

because we gof shafted from birth , okay?

Who had the education , huh?

So we're hifmen .

Knock off a bank now and then .

You think it's bizarre, but that's where you're wrong .

AII of youse, every freak in here is Iousy with dough .

Your money's your protection .

But then you put the whole thing on us.

Yeah , when the fault is yours,

the exam ple was set by you people.

And since you set this bad exam ple,

that makes us innocent,

and all of you bastards are guilty

and I'm gonna see you pay for it.

Be a pleasure to blast you .

All I gotta do is pull this here.

Be fun to perforate youse.

But I ain't gon na do it.

Better you die of cancer, m uch better.

Only first, you gotta pay.

Pay me.

Anyhow, material things aren't im portant in Iife.

I'Il prove if to you .

Pagi , Giggi, Romolo,

help these people regain their spiritual values.

Let 'em cough up all of it.

The last should be first, ain't that what Christ said?

Well , if we're not the Iast, I don't know who is.

One thing more.

You remember the story about the princess?

Gave me a good idea.

I'Il surprise ya.

Come here, Marie.

Come here.

Listen .

I want you to go out and buy two kilos of Iaxative.

Go on , and hurry back.

You know, I read in a book somewhere that the head doctors

say that deep down , people think of money as shit.

And I can believe that,

because you all Iook very constipated to me.

AII of youse.

Constipated .

And don't bother to thank me either.

I just ordered a cure for all present.

You know what you have to do, don't you boys?

I recall,

there's part of an old song that goes,

don't recall the tu ne, it doesn't matter,

it goes Iike this.

And sure hope I got the words right.

Yeah , it goes about like this.

Money is the root of all evil .

But for it to really flower, say, to flower,

all you gotta do

is to buy a Iittle protection .

Purchasing protection goes against the Iaw of the angels.

The show's almost over now.

I'm nearly finished .

You've been super, a great audience.

That's why you are still alive.

I had a lot of fun here.

Ya friggin' boring basfards!

Fear.

Pure fear.

Consider this a kind of, Ief us say pu rge.

N lG HTCLU B ROBBERY - 40 G U ESTS PORCED TO SWALLOW LAXATIVES

Don't care how you do it.

AIl I know is that I want that hu nchback criminal

locked u p in prison .

I tell you the people of the city

won'f put up with it any Ionger.

Look this way, Inspector.

We've been waiting here for at least two hours

for a statement.

Care to tell us what the judge said to you?

He said that even for a criminal Iike the hunchback,

the Iaw's still got certain Iimitations.

And we don't intend to have ou r affairs run

by an hysterical press. Not the Ieft.

The city's tired of it.

You should reinstitute the death penalty, u p against a wall .

Excellent idea.

I n fact, I'm inclined not to stop at hu nchbacks.

I mean the more the merrier, eh?

The feminists, whaf abouf them?

Cou ld n't ask for a qu icker way

of putting down dissent in society.

You take that side.

Who are you Iooking for?

Do you know Vincenzo Marazzi?

You mean it's come to this?

You can just break into our homes.

We're hard-working people, young , man .

Why don't you go and bust nuts elsewhere.

AIso, Let's see your warrant.

You tell me who Iives here.

That house for your information is m ine.

Let me see your-- Identification .

Why sir, I would be glad to show you .

Wait a minute, officer, waif a minute.

That's my house there.

Can I help you?

Who else lives here?

What?

There's my father, that's all .

We're Iooking for a hunchback.

H unchback?

Ain't they for good Iuck?

You get all kinds in this neighborhood .

It's pretty motley.

Really, I'd like to invite you in ,

but my old Papa would wake up for sure.

And when he wakes, of course,

it's little me has to return him to the Iight of n ighf.

He's Iike a kid .

Good n ighf.

Oh my God .

Vince, the neighborhood's crawlin' with cops.

Let's go, men .

It's okay, they're gone.

Vince?

Vince, where are you?

Vincenzo?

Who's there? It's me, Maria.

Open up.

What do you want? That friend of yours

said to tell you he had to Ieave.

And he said you'll find a note under the sink

in the kitchen .

He said it wou ld explain everything .

Oh , than ks.

Now get out of here.

My teacher is pretty nice.

But did she read that composition you wrote?

Yeah , and natu rally she loved it.

Sounds Iike fhis year,

you won't have to study on your vacation .

You can go on .

I'II blast your kid if you don't do exactly what I say.

Walk over to that car.

Just take my fu r coat and bag .

I want you to toss 'em through the car window.

You try anything and boom .

Walk.

No, Mario!

You rotten son of a bitch .

You're lucky I didn't kill you .

Big , brave man trying to rob my wife and daughter.

H uh? Don't hu rt me.

Get in thaf car, you Iiftle punk.

Charge, attempted robbery.

No, change that to attempted armed robbery.

Valenzi .

Let me have a Iight, will ya?

Yeah .

Thanks. Where were we?

Name, Calogero Ciacci, born Rome, 6th November, '56.

Resides at Via de Platoni 25.

J usf a minute.

What'd you say your name was?

Calogero Ciacci.

So you'd be related to a certain Carmine Ciacci

has a bar in Tufelo?

Loud and clear.

He's my uncle.

Have been arrested for quesfioning

about the abduction .

Young Cipriano was a second Lieutenant

in the National Guard , the Greek Cyprian Army.

I nformed sources said the kidnapper

sent the 45 year old president

a tape cassette in which his son begs his father

to meet his captor's demands.

On the national scene.

Oh , what will we do if he don't show?

Hum po can't do withouf his cigarettes.

I ain't much good without food .

I'm sure good old Carm ine won't Iet me down .

When we get down .

How about roasting fhis?

Catch .

You think that's fu nny?

Oh !

Actually, keep it down .

I would Iike to hear the news.

If that kid's telling fhe truth ,

Ciacci's been thick with H umpo since the robbery

of that bank van .

I bet that guy knows where a Iot of bodies are hidden .

Sarti to Manza Four, Sarti to Manza Four.

Loud and clear, Inspector.

We got Ciacci's Mercedes in front of us.

I'll keep you posted .

Over and out.

Inspector Sarti to Manza Three.

The Mercedes with the license plate number M88295

is taking the road to Palermo.

M88295.

You bet.

Let's go.

This is Manza Four.

Just gof the Mercedes heading north .

Standing by for further orders, over.

I nspecfor Sarti speaking ,

all Manzas begin closing in on target,

but don'f try to make confact till I give the word .

Over.

Kay, Iet's hit it.

Our next regularly scheduled broadcast

will be one half hour.

And now a message from our sponsor.

Do your hands feel d ry and cracked

after hours of washing d ishes?

Who is it?

He d id n't Iet me down .

Ciao, Vince.

J ust gimme the Gauloises, huh?

Yeah .

The heat's really on .

You're getting lots of publicity, you guys.

Passports.

Promised they'd be ready tomorrow n ighf.

It's the cops.

Panther here, there's four bombs leff.

Toss one out every m inute or two.

I'II work arou nd to fhe rear.

Give up! You haven't got a chance.

Screw you .

Where'd H umpo go?

Supposed to be working his way behind him ,

that bastard hunchback.

All right, you reach .

Put your hands on your head .

Where's H u m po?

He took good care of our radio.

Christ, he stripped out all of 'em .

This is I nspector Sarti .

I repeat, this is Sarti.

H umpo and his boys are dead .

Relay the message to all cars.

Our chase is all over.

The hunchback was shot to death ,

resisting arrest near Torvaianica.

You can Iift all confrol points and road blocks.

I repeat, the hunchback and his gang are dead .

Lift all roadblocks. The hu nchback's dead .

Sarti got him .

Sarti got him? They got him?

Calling all units.

The hunchback has been killed in a shoofouf near Torvaianica.

AII roadblocks are to be liffed immed iately.

A fabulous piece of news too.

Let's go.

The bastard's dead .

Hey!

Stop!

I'm I nspector Sarti .

That way, step on it!

Move it, move itl

PIease over.

I repeat, I nspector Sarti , come in , please.

Over.

Can't you raise him? I don't know.

There must be something wrong with this transmitter.

All I can do is keep trying .

Calling Inspector Sarti .

Calling Inspector Sarti .

Come in , please.

Over.

What happened?

Got a blue Giulia.

He lost control and went over the rail .

I saw him clear his day in the rear view mirror.

And they say hu nchback men bring good Iuck.

With that song ,

we end our broadcast of tops and pops.

Now, the Iocal news. Pig Sty,

where are ya?

There is a report of a tragic accident

on a highway just outside of Rome.

I'm here.

How you gonna succeed if you never do any work?

I've got a package for ya.

It's from your brother.

He Ieft it with me with a note asking me to give it to ya.

Dear Piggy,

I've got to go away for a while.

Take th is money and do something smart with it.

Maybe open your own business.

I n these few lines,

I want to say something I never said before,

something from the heart.

I know you are bigger in the heart department.

When you're born with a hu m p,

you ain't got m uch room for a heart.

BIame it on that.

But whatever space I got in m ine is all for you .

It always has been .

Thin k often of you r older brother.

What's he say, Pig?

U m ,

that,

he said not to worry.

He'II be back soon .

You mean , he just finished there?

He said that, in his heart,

there's space only for you , Marie.

Piggy,

do you really think he'II retu rn?

Hey Marie, you know what they say in Naples.

Nobody can kill that guy.

He's got the nine Iives of a cat.