Original subtitles

Previously on Forgive Me...

You think that these are actual saints

appearing to you, angels?

♪ Ave Maria, Ave Maria

♪ Ave Maria

♪ Ave Maria

♪ Ave Maria

It's growing again.

I figured.

Well, Agnes didn't get it all

and we hoped what was there wouldn't grow,

but you did get a good year out of it.

So what do we do now?

Go back in, try to get it all, radiation.

I don't know.

You have questions.

Are you saying repeat the treatment?

More aggressively.

What if we don't?

It's gonna grow.

And?

Oh, well you'll start experiencing

neurological interference, headaches,

nausea, speech, memory.

Pearly gates?

Mm-hmm, but slowly, painfully.

Maybe that's God's plan.

We fought it, we lost.

There's no such thing as losing gracefully.

You're not lost.

Why do I have to keep fighting?

I am not stuck on this world.

I'm looking forward to the next one.

Maybe I should order you a psych eval?

I'm not crazy.

I'm not mentally ill.

It's just every time I tell people I'm not afraid to die,

everybody acts like I lost my mind, even the other priests,

even though dying is how you get to heaven.

That's how you get to the kingdom of God.

This thing in my brain, this mass could be my key

to the kingdom.

This is a glioma, it's not the Rapture.

This is eternal life that they know you,

the only true God in Jesus Christ for whom you have sent.

This earthly life is a blip.

I'm thinking big picture.

I don't think I can reconcile that

with my hospital, my OR.

But you come to church, right?

You listen to me pontificate about heaven,

about the kingdom of God, it disturbs you

I actually believe it.

Well, heaven is a comfort that makes death more bearable.

It's not like your first trip to Paris, father.

How'd it go?

As well as it could.

No tumor?

No growth.

That's great news.

More chemo?

No more chemo.

They're thinking about radiation, they'll let me know.

But all clear.

It shrunk.

It shrunk?

Hey.

They said I can go back to work.

Oh, it's too soon.

It's not too soon.

It's shrinking, it's not gone.

It's shrunk, it may never be gone.

Look, you need to rest.

Let the kid practice.

He's stir crazy.

You would be too.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Okay.

Go to work.

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

It's been a few months now since my last confession.

I heard you got sick.

Yeah.

I haven't seen you in a long time.

I prayed for you.

Thanks.

I'm glad to see you're back.

It's a test.

Sickness is a test from God?

No, it's a test to see if I can work a shift.

Oh.

If I'm sufficiently healed.

So not a test from God?

Not so far.

What about you, you've been

getting some treatment too, I know.

Yeah, yeah you could call it that.

Is it helping curb your sinful thoughts?

I'm still thinking about little girls.

They tell me to stay away from here

and to stay away from priests.

You're triggers.

Maybe that's a good idea.

Oh no.

You don't get rid of me that easy.

I'm not trying to get rid of you, that's not...

That letter is almost 30 years old.

It was to my mother.

The man who signed it, she said,

is the prelate, was the prelate.

"The concerns that you have raised

"with Father Genesius..."

What?

That's Father Gene, Genesius.

I never heard him called that before,

I forgot it was his name.

"The concerns that you have raised with Father Genesius

"have been dealt with and the offending employee

"has been removed from service to the church."

He's dead, the man who signed it, Tebow,

he was the prelate at the time.

But this contains some clues

about who was knowledgeable about your abuse.

It mentions Belavoe Brown, Father Belavoe Brown.

I think he's a bishop now.

They lied to her.

They lied to my mother.

He wasn't removed from the church.

If he was allowed to continue in another province,

he was removed from the parish.

You're right.

That changes things.

How?

They lied to my mother.

You know what that did to my life, my family?

I thought my mother knew some things,

and now I see this letter and I know now she didn't know

much of anything then.

What she knew were lies.

This letter makes you angry?

She is trying here and they lie.

How could I not be angry?

It seemed apparent to me that somebody lied.

Did your mother pass the lie onto you or...

No.

No, she never...

She didn't talk about it.

It was like it never happened.

I know how hard it was for you to talk about it,

same with her.

She thought she did something to stop it,

not just for me but for any kid that...

I didn't know she did that.

But she tried, right?

Don't you feel better knowing that she tried?

Yeah.

I feel better about her.

Not better about people here.

Oh, this church...

It's a long time ago, Johnny.

Yeah.

A very long time.

Unless I dream about it.

It doesn't seem that long ago, then.

Or I see a little kid with shorts on and just...

It doesn't really seem all that far behind me,

you know what I mean?

I know.

I meant for the people here, okay?

Like if you think about Father Gene,

he's older than Moses and this Tebow guy, he's dead.

He's long dead.

I don't know who we can be angry at anymore.

Angry at the walls, angry at God...

How'd he die?

Tebow?

Old age.

What circle of hell is that?

Covering up for a child molester?

Circle?

The circles of hell.

You know, the second circle is for liars or adulterers

and third circle is gluttons

and murderers are another circle.

You're talking about the nine circles of hell.

Yeah, nine circles of hell.

So, pedophiles, where do they go?

It's not a thing.

It's not a thing?

Pedophiles don't go to hell?

The circles, the nine circles, they're not liturgical.

They're from Dante.

Dante's Inferno, it's the Divine Comedy, it's a poem.

It's not in the Bible?

No.

Surprise, it's just a poem.

How the hell is that not in the Bible?

It's just not.

Well, why would I even think that?

Trust me, you're not the first person

who ever thought that.

What kinda half-ass Sunday school do you people run here?

They teach you that in Sunday school?

Of course they taught me.

Where else would I learn that?

You think I go around reading poems?

Do you have any idea how many hours of my life

that I wasted trying to figure out

exactly what circle of hell I'm going to?

Johnny, I watched all seven seasons of Dawson's Creek.

You win.

I think I should sue.

Sue the church?

No, sue the diocese, whoever you sue.

I assume that you would sue the whole organization, then.

That or every level and anybody that you could find.

I'm sure somebody would settle.

I mean, that seems to be how it goes down.

That's happened before?

Well it hasn't happened here, no it hasn't,

but it's happened enough other places.

Like Boston and Cape Breton, maybe Newfoundland.

Everywhere.

It's starting to seem like it.

I need more information.

About what?

About this Belavoe, this...

Belavoe Brown?

Yeah, Belavoe Brown.

You say he's a bishop now?

He is, yeah, yeah.

I wanna find out if he wrote back.

I want you to find out.

You can find out.

I don't know, I could try, but--

You try, then.

Is this for your lawsuit?

Is this so you can build a lawsuit?

I just wanna know.

I don't know.

How can I forgive anyone?

I don't even know what happened.

How can I forgive my mother?

This church?

How can I forgive myself?

Okay.

Okay what?

I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll look.

I'll look for a letter to see if Bishop Belavoe Brown

responded to Father Tebow if you really think

that that will help you forgive yourself.

I don't want you to tell anyone

about any of this, the lawsuit, the letter, none of it.

If your bosses see the letter, it's gonna give 'em

the chance to cover it up and they'll cover it up more.

They wouldn't,

I don't think that they would cover this up.

Genesius did.

No, he didn't.

Gene reported it, he reported it.

You can see that in the letter that you have.

Yeah, well he didn't go to the police.

No, but...

Hey, this works both ways, okay?

Gene couldn't go to the police.

It was something that your mother told him

in a confession, all right?

He couldn't, just like right now.

I can't go to the authorities,

I can't go to the higher-ups with this plan of yours

to sue the church.

You have my word, I will not tell anybody.

I can't.

They had cans of soup for 59 cents.

I thought I was having a flashback.

How's school?

How's your head?

It's fine, how's school?

Fine.

It's not fine, she hates it.

She comes home and starts throwing things.

He doesn't need to know that.

You're right, I don't need to know,

not if you don't wanna tell me.

Everyone knows everyone else's business.

It's a small town.

What are they saying?

Why is it your business?

I don't know.

But if you ever wanna talk about it,

I would like to hear about it.

Did you hear from your mother?

No.

Not true, she called.

I didn't talk to her.

Did you talk to her?

A little.

Oh, and what'd she have to say?

She wanted Noelle to know she called.

When was that?

A long time ago.

You were still in the hospital.

Where's Christopher?

He's out and about as usual.

How's he doing, did he find a job?

He's an idiot.

Don't talk that way about my grandson.

It doesn't matter if it's true.

I'm sorry, I know this was all supposed to be temporary.

It is temporary.

I know.

She was only supposed to be here a few weeks.

Well, it seemed like the biggest imposition

in the world before you got sick, then it was like nothing.

Thank you.

I never thought my family would get

to be such an unholy mess, but that's what we got.

You know your friend, Mrs. O'Leary?

Yeah.

She ever talk to you about why she left the church?

Well, we weren't talking by then.

Your mother didn't like her.

We were neighbors, but when your mother

almost burned the place down, everybody got out.

She started a fire?

Yeah, a little by accident.

A drunken accident?

Yeah.

And she was drunk that year.

You know, just because your mother

never learned to be a parent doesn't mean you can't.

I know.

I just, I didn't wanna tell her I was her father

and then die a week later.

Maybe your daughter is a reason to live.

How'd it go?

Wasn't too busy.

Must be good to be back at work.

Yeah.

You hungry?

No, I had dinner.

Gene, I found something tonight,

I need to ask you something.

Okay.

It's that man, the choirmaster

who molested Johnny O'Leary.

What?

He was a priest.

No, he was a choirmaster.

Before that.

He was never a priest.

Not here.

Not here, up in Cape Breton.

In Cape Breton?

He was defrocked or he packed it in, I don't know,

but I found some letters.

You didn't know that he'd been a priest back then?

Gene.

It was a long time ago,

but I did not know that he was a priest, ever a priest.

Good.

Come in.

What's the matter?

Come in.

What's the matter?

Make sure you're sure.

I don't think I could say no to you.

What?

What do you need?

Why?

Well, you're standing there looking at me, half-naked.

I'm sorry.

I think I was sleepwalking.

Sit down.

I had a big day.

I had dinner with my daughter.

You've been trying for months to make me decide

between my daughter and the priesthood.

It's not up to you.

I wanna be both.

You stupid old man.

Next time on Forgive Me...

I was in office for 15 years

and doing political commentary for almost as long.

Are those sins?

In the way I did them.

The whole parish, the whole congregation is affected.