Original subtitles

They call this place the Land of Great Thirst.

The great Karoo desert, South Africa.

We are in one of the most inhospitable places on Earth.

Ten participants.

Whoever can stay the longest wins.

It's pretty simple.

I found the baboons.

There's ten of them, but I only have five arrows.

This place is dry, dry, dry.

The sun's beating down on you every day.

I'm so tired, and I'm so thirsty.

Oh, man.

I really don't feel safe drinking this water.

This is a place to be, if not feared,

treated with a lot of respect.

I changed my mind!

Ah, look at the size of that thing.

There's a big herd of wildebeest right there.

Rhino tracks.

Meat's back on the menu, boys.

They call Cape buffalo the Black Death for a reason.

They'll just straight up kill you.

We don't control the game.

Here we go--flooding.

This is nothing compared to what's coming.

It hurts so much, man.

It's freaking ice.

So the question is, how strong of a mind

do you need to have to win this?

Whoo!

What the did I get myself into?

Long, cold night.

The last one to tap

walks out of here with 500,000 grand.

This is one of the hardest things

that a person can do in their life.

Oh, my gosh.

It's another great day in Africa.

Look what I just managed to bring in--

an Orange River mudfish.

First night in, I've got a fish.

Crazy.

There's a big kudu bull

right over there.

, he saw me.

Be a bad idea to take an animal that big right now, though.

Not ready.

I see a warthog. Holy [bleep].

It's so exciting that I have food.

This warthog gives me the energy and the will

to stay out here for a long time.

I'm just lounging in South Africa,

eating a warthog--no big deal.

Water's so dirty. Wow.

I don't want to get sick from it,

so I need to filter it somehow,

because otherwise you're going to have problems later on.

I could sit here and wait out

a couple more days.

Is it worth it?

This is Jit. I'm officially tapping out.

It's sad to leave, because there was still

so much I hadn't explored,

but I know it was the right thing to do.

This is it.

I'm going on 35 years of doing this kind of stuff,

and this is the ultimate way to test what you know.

I know it won't be easy,

but looking forward to the unknown.

That's what makes it fun.

Ha!

There they go.

It's me in South Africa.

This is going to be a trip.

It's sinking in.

I'm truly alone.

What the did I get myself into?

I changed my--

I changed my mind. I changed my mind!

I changed my mind!

Well, [bleep].

Okay, first thoughts,

first thoughts...

Yeah, I'm going to lose a lot of weight.

Baha!

Baha is here!

Now, this is kind of cool.

This is actually--a moose laid down for the night here.

That's my house, by the way.

So they were sleeping right here by my house all night.

I was born in Soviet Union...

in a small republic called Kyrgyzstan.

I served in Kyrgyz Army in Border Patrol division.

We were trained in the rural area a lot,

and that's where I learned a lot of survival skills,

but after the collapse of Soviet Union,

Kyrgyzstan, it turned into chaos.

Here we go.

So I made the decision to leave Kyrgyzstan for good.

I am doing this for my family.

I am the only provider,

and currently I live from paycheck to paycheck.

Winning 500,000, we will be able

to pay off our debt, fix our homestead,

as well as give our children their independence.

It will float like this.

I can win this competition because I have the skills

and the different type of a drive

that none of these guys have.

Living outside of comfort, I came from that world.

And it's a constant push to do better.

We love you a lot.

So I'm going to be the last one standing in this contest.

So the plan of the day...

Sun in the sky.

This is actually an opportune moment

to put a stick to indicate my south and north.

It is important to assess the site

because then I can build

my survival strategy.

Although I've never been to Africa,

some parts sort of reminds me of my childhood in Kyrgyzstan.

Very dry air,

and although during the day it gets very hot,

nights are much colder.

It cast a shadow this way.

So...

Southern Hemisphere, where the sun is,

it's actually north.

But east direction, this is where my sun rises.

The sun rises behind that...

tall, tall ridge.

That's not very good.

It means my mornings are going to be colder longer.

I think I would like to be over there.

From a distance,

it looks very hopeful.

So I need to move there

so that I have more sun in the morning.

First day...

it's the only day to do it.

I have the most amount of energy...

for such journey.

But this is going to take

a long period of time,

and it's a very

injury-prone situation.

I decide to go fishing, so I need to get some bait.

I noticed a couple grasshoppers.

Ah, [bleep].

I know you landed here somewhere.

Hopefully this guy will catch my first fish.

My strategy is definitely a belly-first approach.

As far as deciding which game to target, I don't know yet.

I don't know what's here exactly.

So fish is a really great starting place.

One of my goals is to just eat every day.

And I think if I can do that,

then my psychology will benefit.

It's going to be lonely and difficult in many respects,

but if I've got food in my system,

I think that my mind will be able to work

through those other challenges.

Gonna let that sit for a little while.

So I'm going to attempt to get a fish.

I made a little bow here.

This is just a little 15-minute job.

You can see it's super crude.

I'm Nathan Olsen.

I live in southern Idaho,

and it's the place where I grew up.

It worked.

I am a child of Larry Dean Olsen,

and he wrote the book "Outdoor Survival Skills."

That book became a national bestseller,

and he kind of became famous.

My father never had a regular job in his life.

His whole career was completely absorbed

in wilderness skills.

They peel like a banana.

The family business essentially was survival,

and so we were just exposed to it

for so many hours and days that it just

became a part of who every member of my family is.

My brother Luke actually went on the show,

and when he returned, I considered applying.

Right now I'm one of the owners of a software company,

definitely not pursuing the same type of career

that my father had.

Yet my free time involves

a lot of time in the wilderness.

It's always been an escape for me.

Thinking about how to honour my father

through this experience.

In a way, I feel the responsibility

of representing the skills that he taught.

That ought to work.

Well, the line's out.

I'm gonna gather a little bit of grass for my bed tonight.

Don't want to sleep on the hard, cold ground.

I think one of the things that's helped prepare me

is that I have a balanced set of skills.

Beautiful resource.

Gonna sleep comfy and warm tonight.

I've been a hunter my entire life.

I also know

some of the old-school primitive skills.

I've spent a lot of time finding food to eat,

starting fires, managing fires,

and sleeping on the ground in the wilderness.

I found a little spot here

that I think is going to work well.

It's on the downwind side of the bush,

so I'll have a little wind protection.

It's also the shaded side, so I can hang out there

in the heat of the day.

From the research I've done, it's extremely rare

for it to rain this time of year in this location,

so I feel no pressing need to build a shelter.

I'm just going to make a comfortable grass bed

and spend my time focused on getting food.

Let's try it out.

Oh, yeah.

Mm.

It's a really great view from right here.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go check the fish line,

see if I can get some dinner.

Oh, I got something,

on a tiniest little grasshopper.

It worked, though.

Okay, it's a smallmouth yellowfish.

All right.

Well, I've solved my bait problem

as well as my dinner problem,

so we're off to a good start.

Tired from walking...

but journey continues.

This looks like a cow patty.

Perhaps there are buffalo, Cape buffaloes here.

I don't see Cape buffalo tracks,

but those are big, big...

piles of [bleep].

And what do we know about Cape buffaloes?

They are extremely dangerous.

Hell of a workout.

From my heritage, I know that

it's not wise to do something physical

during the peak of the day because the heat

will wear you out.

Ah, buffalo thorn. Let go.

And I am getting hotter,

"tireder," thirstier,

but I feel this is a right decision

because it will help me later on.

Look. Look.

This is it. This is my spot.

Look at that. There's firewood.

There's lots of clay, and there is lots of rock.

I'm happy...

and I am tired,

but, first, I'm thirsty.

But to have water, I need to build a fire,

so I need to build a bow drill.

Oh, yeah, that looks really good.

I did not bring ferro rod, because I feel confident

making a bow-drill fire.

There is a bit of a risk, but I learned bow-drill making

in my service in the army.

I have made a number of bow-drill fires.

I've used different materials, depending on my location.

I brought bank line.

Not as strong as paracord,

but I am allowed...

A lot more bank line...

and I feel like paracord

would have less applications.

This environment provides with a lot of dry wood.

And dry is good for fire,

so I'm not going to have problems.

This is a hot environment,

and doing anything makes one sweat a lot...

So drinking water, extremely important,

and to have a lake beside myself is wonderful.

But I cannot drink the water out of the lake

without boiling

because I know I will have diarrhoea,

and I will drop out as soon as I drink

that water without boiling.

I have to, absolutely have to make fire.

Not good.

I don't think it's going to work.

I need to prepare for

a long, cold night.

I recognise that the hardwood is not

an ideal material for my fire board,

but I am too exhausted for today.

No fire, no shelter...

No water.

If don't make fire tomorrow

and no water tomorrow all day...

Damn it.

I...

Forgot to film throwing out my lines.

I went in to pull it in to--

I'm getting ready to go to bed, so I was going to put it

over by the shelter, and bang.

I started pulling it in, thought I was snagged.

Look at this thing.

Oh, buddy.

That's several days' worth of food right there.

I'm going to take that catfish head

and just turn it into soup.

Extract all those nutrients out of it.

And I'm going to try to just air-dry this meat.

People has-air dried meat

for tens of thousands of years here, if not longer.

I'm very familiar with smoking meat,

but in this part of the world, smoking is not necessary.

It's more to do with the humidity

than the temperature.

If you can keep it at a lower temperature

to where the meat don't spoil in the sun,

then the warm breeze and the low humidity

just draws out the moisture and preserves the meat.

That's a pretty good haul for one catfish.

This is pretty wild.

Can't believe I'm here doing this.

Well, that didn't take long.

I'm a carpenter by trade, but I consider myself

first and foremost a bow hunter.

That's my bread and butter.

I was a hunter since I was a kid.

I killed my first squirrel when I was three.

Dead deer.

I was drawn to traditional archery because it's hard.

Well, got a rabbit.

It's not something that you can just pick up,

and it's not a thing that you find success by accident.

Beautiful trout.

I'm real excited to be in a ecosystem

that I've never been in before

and feel it out and look at it

in the micro and macro levels and be immersed in it.

As you can see, it cleared up really quick.

I believe I have the ability to do this challenge

because of my bow hunting.

That's a way to get big game and large caloric storage,

which will let me go longer than anyone else

has ever been out here.

I've put myself in the predicaments.

I've killed 700-, 800-pound elk.

I've had to work them all down by myself.

It's not a theoretical situation.

It's something that I've done physically.

So I feel like I have the advantage.

We're out here looking for some morel mushrooms with my family.

I'm leaving my girlfriend, Carrie.

We've been together nine years,

and we just do everything together.

We love each other's company. She's my best friend.

You gonna miss me while I'm gone?

Sometimes.

I'm going to miss her like crazy while I'm out there,

but that amount of money is life-changing,

because I can set up a life

that we can be comfortable with.

I feel like I've prepared for this my whole life.

There ain't no more mental preparation.

There's no more physical preparation.

I'm just ready to win this.

I love you. - I love you.

Be careful.

It's a nice morning.

I feel pretty safe up off the ground

a little ways, because of the spiders and the scorpions.

Mm, that's pretty comfy.

No naps.

There's work to do.

I know it's going to get warm today,

and I don't need to be moving around in the heat of the day,

so I need to do some scouting and hunting.

I'm going to have to figure out

what food is going to be feasible in my area.

This is some big...

open country.

This is some cool stuff.

I'm excited to hunt other species

that I've never even seen before.

I don't know anything about the mannerisms

of the animals here.

I don't know anything about their level of security,

you know, how close they'll let you come

with them knowing that you're there.

So my plan is to watch them from afar

and try to get a feeling of how the animals act.

Wow.

Holy [bleep].

I just had...

two female impala

60 yards away.

I thought the wind was going to mask my noise.

Man, I don't know if I've ever been around animals

this damn jumpy.

700, 800 yards away, just running like hell.

I wish the animals were dumber.

So I'm headed off for a walk/hunt this morning.

Gonna check the wind.

Yeah, so the cool air is coming downslope right now.

So I'll be downwind from anything on the slopes

as I explore this area up that way.

Let's see what I can find this morning.

My dad always said, "Store your food in your belly.

Make sure that's satisfied."

I caught a fish. Ate it.

Feeling really good.

So now I want to scout my entire area

and observe what I can about the animal patterns

within that area.

I'm finding all kinds of fun poop today.

This is white rhino...

The only thing that could do something that big.

With the big game, just being patient

and waiting can be successful.

But in a situation like this,

I think taking whatever opportunity you have

is really important.

Hmm.

There's a sable bull somewhere in here.

There's a sable bull.

And they're a prey species, and so they're always alert.

It's going to be really hard to hunt here...

so might as well keep going.

I believe that fish is the number-one priority

as far as quality food source for longevity

and likely easier to obtain than these antelope species.

Look at that. Beautiful.

And, also, it's still quite warm.

So, to kill a big-game animal,

that meat's going to spoil pretty quickly.

If I wait a little later,

I'll have more time to process that meat

before it spoils, get it preserved.

Here's a view of my little peninsula.

Pretty amazing place to be able to go for a walk

and see that many species.

I feel really confident that I'm going to be able

to stay here until the end.

Check this out.

[grunts softly

It's a poop of some kind of antelope.

This could be treasure.

So perhaps I can use that

as a fireboard.

I need to make fire as soon as possible.

I feel depletion of the water in me.

I can feel it.

In order to hunt, in order to live,

in order to survive, I need water.

I never experimented with animal poop.

I hope it's hard enough to stay together.

If I don't make fire today, then the latest,

tomorrow, I will have to tap out.

It's not hard enough. It's falling apart.

.

Making fire without deal material

is exhausting.

Oh...

there's a monkey.

There he is.

I don't know what he is, but I wonder

if this monkey figured out how to make fire.

Now I need a different board.

This is going to be challenging

because I cannot identify this wood,

but the longer I don't have water,

the less strength I have to continue trying to make fire.

It's going to be trial and error.

I feel dehydrated. I feel frustrated.

But I don't want to give up.

Providing for my family is a huge responsibility.

My wife, my children, my grandson,

and my niece and nephew--

this is my family.

Time for a different board again.

I'm not making a lot of money on my own,

and the winner gets a hefty prize,

so there is no stopping.

Give me fire.

Thank God.

Exhausting.

Freakin' baking right now.

I need to transfer this fire in the shade.

I'm beginning to realise that this environment

is a lot harder than I thought,

but I don't want to fight my way through it.

I want to adapt,

and I want to live my way through it.

Water.

I want to take a break,

but I have to keep feeding fire.

This wood is very dry. It burns fast.

Once I feel that I am comfortable here,

things will become a lot easier,

and I can start surviving.

Oh.

Ahh.

More acacia.

Sleeping on the ground with a boma around me,

it seems to be working.

This acacia will cut you up.

What's going on over here?

Got some big animals up on the top of the hill

looking at me.

Is that a zebra?

I don't see antlers of any kind.

Yeah, I think it is a zebra.

And just staring at me.

Not on the menu for us. Just as well.

I mean, that's a big, big animal.

That's cool.

I've never seen a zebra in the wild.

Okay, I need food.

I'm traveling south today,

see what's available...

maybe a little porcupine, something like that.

I'm doing this because it's a lifelong dream.

In fourth grade, one of our teachers read

"My Side of the Mountain" to us, you know,

about a teenage boy who gets lost in the woods

and survives on his own for a time.

He problem solves one thing after another and succeeds,

and that became an escapist fantasy for me.

So it led to actually going to the library

and finding some books that related to that.

And that was all like, this is real.

This isn't some fictional situation,

and I thought that was amazing.

Beautiful.

A mere two-hour plane ride

from anywhere you've never heard of.

Hey, we're out here to get a little demo of this,

this slingshot rifle that I created.

Whoo-hoo!

I live in New Hampshire, and I'm a web designer.

The thing that drives me is the desire to understand

how to make something.

You need to take it piece by piece

and sort of work backwards from what you're trying to do

and, by prototyping, find your way to the goal.

Works great.

What got me into bushcraft was an interest in friction fire,

and the moment I had success, it just felt like magic,

and that was the thing that opened the floodgates.

This is a crossbow that I made.

New England is a long way from South Africa.

That's good stuff. That'll make a good pesto.

But I think I'm suited to handle

this experience because I've studied

a lot of different things in my life.

C-shaped piece is engaging and disengaging.

I went hunting and fishing with my father.

Shot placement, stalking, ambushing...

those are transferable skills.

Success.

And so I want to do this to see

if what I've learned over the years

actually amounts to something useful.

Here we go.

That said, only one person is going to win,

and I'm going to be that person.

Mmm.

All right.

More water. Yay.

Water is life.

Let's check it out.

Oh, interesting.

Look at that.

Crab.

, yeah.

Son of a [bleep].

It's not much, but it's something.

Oh, look, that's another one.

Crab number two.

Little guy.

But I'm very thankful.

I'm thankful for the crab.

I'm thankful for the land.

I'm thankful for being alive.

I hope you are, too.

Let's eat it.

We got the big crab that I got

and then a big batch of purslane,

and then we'll round it off with buffalo thorn leaves.

My philosophy on calories is pretty simple.

Food preservation out here

is going to be extremely difficult,

and there is no better place

to store those calories than in me.

So, if I have food, I intend to eat it.

Down the hatch.

Purslane and crab, it almost sounds like

you get that at the fancy restaurant or something.

That's good.

What a lovely breakfast I had.

Eggs and breakfast sausage

and bacon...

and pancakes

with maple syrup.

It was...

it was a bomb.

I feel so stuffed right now.

It's a joke.

Get it?

Today I feel strong.

Now, I better go build a shelter

because I'm sleeping out exposed to the wind.

I need three...

12-feet-long branches.

There you are.

I learned how to build shelters

in military service.

It became a skill.

And I know a number of different configurations,

whether it's a tarp shelter, whether it's

a natural-material shelter,

dugouts, tepee-style.

And I have a technique

of making up a tarp shelter.

It's a three-sided shelter.

It will be closed on all sides.

It will provide me with a secure environment.

It will protect me from weather elements

from any side,

and because of its triangular nature,

it will be sturdy.

This is the shape my shelter is going to be.

Shelter...

Main purpose is sleeping at night.

Therefore, it doesn't need to be big.

One particular benefit to the shelter

and simplicity of its erection and lightness,

if I for some reason have to move the shelter

to a different location,

I can just quickly pick it up...

and move it to a different spot

without disassembling it.

A little bit of a geometry involved in here.

I recognise for survival,

shelter should take

as little as possible effort,

and it has to be not too big and not too small,

and that's what this is.

I'm very happy with my design.

My shelter doesn't have official name.

It's something that I come up with myself.

It's just a Baha shelter.

It's not bad.

I mean, it's not big,

but I think it's plenty.

Some bedding would be nice...

like animal skin.

Oh, yeah.

I think it's siesta time.

Got a group of baboons yelling at me.

They're not too happy I'm here.

I'm probably down here where they like to get water.

So that might be a problem.

We'll see if they give me any trouble.

Baboon's on the menu, though, so they might not want

to give me too much trouble.

We'll see.

Let's go for a walkabout,

try to get some red meat.

Getting a fish was huge.

It's enough food to sustain you several days,

but I'd really like to see

more animals than I have.

A whole lot of nothing.

Hunting definitely has become kind of an identity to me.

My dad was a big outdoorsman.

Some of my first memories are with my dad,

hunting squirrels and shooting targets and stuff.

Ah, tough hunting.

My dad would tell me bedtime stories

about Jeremiah Johnson

and John Colter and Daniel Boone.

So I heard all these stories about these great hunters

and being out in the woods, and he was just like that.

I'm a little bummed that there ain't more animals,

but I'm not surprised.

They put me in the middle of a [bleep] desert.

Growing up, I felt like my dad was

the strongest man in the world.

He was just, like, my hero growing up.

Holy [bleep].

There's a water buck.

.

That water buck's bugging out of here from 300 yards away.

It's just a big bowl. It's like a stadium.

Everybody's in the seats, and I'm on the field.

All the animals can see every move I make.

Damn it.

I'm gonna go back to camp.

We'll see how appetising catfish-head soup is.

Not real wild about eating this catfish-head soup.

I don't know why.

I like fish.

Just something doesn't seem too appealing

about catfish-head soup.

But while I wait,

I'm going to make a little spoon.

It's odd.

Being by myself, being out in the wilderness

has me thinking about certain things.

I miss my dad.

I was about 22 when I lost him,

and it was just really, really hard for me.

It's funny the little things you take for granted at home,

like sandpaper.

I'd love to have just a square of sandpaper right now.

I wasn't always 100% truthful to myself that I was okay,

you know, that I could just not acknowledge the feelings

that I was having.

You know, the manly thing to do is to just suck it up,

pretend it's not an issue,

suppress stuff like my dad did.

He wasn't a big emotional person at all.

I think I seen him really cry twice--

at his dad's funeral and when our dog Wishbone

got hit by a car.

But he was just trying to cultivate me into a man.

Like, don't worry about the little things

that really don't matter.

I'm not sure that's healthy,

but there's an aspect of that that's good.

The idea to just be a tough man,

and that made me who I am.

That'll work for now.

That first bite--

I thought it was congealed fat on top.

It was just fish slime.

Oh, I can't do it.

That's all I can do.

I think the dried catfish is going to be a lot better.

Probably won't have that slime on it.

And maybe as the days go on, I'll get hungrier,

and that slime won't bother me.

I don't know. I'll still probably hate that.

Doing a little exploring.

It would be good if there were fish in the pockets,

but I don't see any.

I need some wood to build stuff.

It's beautiful-- just no food.

I'm going to gather some more firewood real quick,

and I'm going to do a little bit of exploring.

Archaeologically, this is probably...

where some of the earliest people in the world

hung out in the millions of years.

God, the rock resources are just crazy.

I mean, dang, I mean, everywhere.

Africa has always been a place I've wanted to go.

It's a dream come true. It's such a big place.

And everything's not what you'd think,

but I'm good with that.

Nice and slick.

Damn, look at the freakin' chert.

I mean, really nice material.

God, I'd love to take something like that home.

Acorn cap used as a whistle.

I teach primitive technology, primitive skills for years.

I like to carry on what I learned to other people.

Real simple atlatl. It's just a branch.

I came into survival real early.

I was in college.

I was taking a class called North American Indians,

and it just resonated with me.

That's sharper the way it is. I can use it.

But I can also alter them a lot easier.

I'm so passionate about primitive survival

because it's not going to the store

and buying all this fancy gear.

We're making a predator call.

It's going out into the wild and seeing what's available

and using what's available to survive.

I'm definitely going to be looking for something

to make a blowgun out of

because I am the expert on blowguns.

I wrote the book on it.

This is a blowgun dart.

I did that so many times, I can do it blindfolded.

They're so simple to make and shoot,

but they're so complex.

So you're taking a big piece of grass

and blowing a dart through it and killing something.

It's just a...

It's so mystifying and magical.

I'm really big with my family, so winning the money

would set me up free where I could be there for them

because they all came together for me to be here.

A month before we launched, I found out my dad had cancer.

But he told me, pursue your dream. Have fun.

Since I was a kid, this has been a dream

to come to Africa.

So, if I was going to win,

this is the place I'd love to win.

All right.

I'm tired of sleeping under the stars.

So underneath this tree,

I'm gonna build me a shelter.

I'm going to use some of these dead wood.

There's a bunch of it around here.

Shelters are what's going to keep the sun

from beating down on you every day

at the hottest part of the day.

Your shelter is not just protection from the elements.

It protects against predators.

So you got to build something to deter animals

from coming into your space.

My ideal is to just get some stuff on the roof

and kind of get right here.

I'm going to leave my fireplace outside my tent.

So...

that's kind of...

But I can pretty much guarantee

it's probably not going to get done tonight.

I think I'm going to take a break.

This was probably not the smartest thing

in the world to do.

And my wife's probably going, "What the [bleep]?"

Predators, they're everywhere.

The big danger is Cape buffalo.

I don't care how fast you think you can run,

you're not going to outrun something like that.

And they've got tempers.

But there's also rhinos.

I don't want to get chased by one.

I got a bow, but a bow wouldn't do nothing.

It would just make it madder. So that's a big concern.

I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed.

And hopefully I won't be rhino bait.

Oh, good morning. Oh.

I heard something big moving around, grunting.

So I got to be careful.

I'm going to check some of the watering holes

and see if there's anything hunting around.

At night, you hear noises.

You hear stuff walking around.

You could see silhouettes of stuff walking around.

You know, it's close enough

that I could reach through my shelter

and touch it.

This is one of the watering holes.

You can see the tracks and everything...

the fresh tracks.

Something's coming down here.

So...

at least there is game here.

You know, you're in the desert.

Electrolytes are a big thing.

You're going to need salt, salt's in blood,

and it's in meat as big game.

You're not going to get any salt from fish

and stuff like that.

A lot of the smaller animals,

you're not going to get as much salt.

So you're going to have to take some big game to survive.

I don't see anything.

I'm going to check this afternoon.

All right, I'm gonna head back.

It's a beautiful morning in Africa.

Last night was a rough one.

I was laying there, sound asleep,

and my tarp ripped, and I hit the ground.

I guess this wasn't made to be a hammock.

So no more hammock.

I'm gonna go for a walk today and see if I can't find

any building materials.

Probably try to work on a permanent shelter here.

I don't know what my idea for long-term shelter is...

but I'ma figure out something.

Man, this stuff right here-- there ain't much.

Look at this.

Rocks and some bushes for as far as you can see.

I can't see a tree.

There is no trees.

There is no lumber to make a shelter out of.

It's just bushes.

Being alone is something that's not foreign to me.

I mean, I've spent a lot of my life alone.

But out here, you are truly alone.

I can't pull out my phone and scroll social media.

I can't pick up my phone and call my best friend

and talk about your bad day.

I'm thinking about stuff at home

that I don't normally think of,

things that my brain intentionally pushed down.

You know, arguments that I had with my dad

when I was a teenager.

Now I don't have Dad.

This looks like the spot if I can keep from getting

on by birds.

Let me get my stuff.

You know, the times that he called me and said,

"You want to go fishing?"

And I had something else stupid to do.

Oh, I wouldn't trade anything for a day to fish with him.

It's feeling pretty rough today.

This is only day four, but holy [bleep].

It's not good.

Coming out here, there's no distractions.

You're just with your emotions and with your feelings

and with your thoughts.

But when there ain't no way for these things

to be suppressed anymore,

there ain't nowhere to go but out.

I can't put it in the back of my mind.

It's in the forefront-- nothing else mattering.

It's just stealing every bit of joy that I could have.

I haven't been hungry in four days.

It's weird.

But I need to be eating something.

I love the outdoors. I love being alone.

I love nature.

But there's something else going on.

Really grossed out.

My hands.

Everything smells like fish.

I can't keep feeling like this.

I can't just suppress this.

I can't just push it down and pretend

it was just a bad day or whatever.

Just something about that catfish-head

slimy soup...

Turned my stomach.

My fish is drying out.

Oh, but it just...

It's the last thing I want to eat.

Ooh.

Something's wrong.

I just can't believe I'm having these thoughts.

You know, I don't even know if--

I don't know if I can get through this.

I'm starting to wonder if I should even be out here.

Well, I'm starting to think maybe...

something's wrong.

Caught a fish.

Wasn't happy about it.

I'm on a big sandy beach on a lake in South Africa.

But I'm not happy about it.

I feel like I have everything

that I would ever want right now,

and for some reason, none of it excites me at all.

None of it's making me happy,

and I wonder what will make me happy.

It seems like I can dwell on the negative,

but it's real hard to find anything positive right now.

I'm just kind of blindsided by this.

I had no idea that this was even an issue.

But in the world that we live in...

it's real easy to just get that endorphin snap in your brain...

but without all that, I'm finding it pretty hard.

You know, I really have two options right now.

I can try to get through this on my own,

try to work it all out in my head...

just try to get over it.

, four days.

Four days.

Or I can pick up that sat phone

and get out of here.

But something's got to change. I can't feel like this.

This is hell.

I never thought in a million years

I'd be making this phone call.

Depression is real, people.

Don't kid yourself.

Hello, this is Colton.

I'm officially tapping out.

Just spiralled into a bad place.

Just... just depression--

it just came in on me.

I don't know how to explain it.

I thought 100% I'd go out here and just kill it,

and then...

I just can't get over this hump.

I just feel like I need help.

I feel like I need to talk to somebody.

You know, it's embarrassing to tap out in four days,

but I can't feel like this for no more.

I'm giving up this opportunity

that I thought was so important in my life--

to be on "Alone,"

to go out here and show everybody

how much of a big hard-ass hero I am,

and that doesn't matter in the least.

What's important is your own happiness,

and I'm gonna think about that for a long time,

but it shows how severe this is.

And I've never been more sure of anything in my life

than to make this phone call.

You can't just suppress your feelings of depression.

You can't just pretend they're not there.

It's like pretending you don't have cancer.

It ain't going to help anything.

All my life, I thought that if I showed

a lot of emotions that weren't manly emotions,

I was being weak,

but it's okay for a man to say, "Hey, I'm not okay."

It doesn't make you weak.

It doesn't make you less of a man.

If my dad was here to see the stuff

that I realised about myself,

I think he'd give me a big old hug.

I've got a lot of work to do,

and I'm kind of excited to get home

and start this next chapter.