Original subtitles

- [Man] I'm gonna lie back on the center of the bed.

I'd like for you to stand over me

with your feet at my shoulders.

Hike up your skirt with your right hand

then pull your panties...

Are they white cotton?

- [Woman] Regulation.

- [Man] Pull them all the way over to the left side

using your left hand.

Squat forward bending your knees as far as you can

while still keeping your feet flat on the ground

then urinate on my face.

- [Woman] Anything else?

- When you're through you can leave.

(eerie music)

(knocking)

(eerie music)

(door clicks)

(eerie music)

- Why here?

- Fond memories?

Sarah and I spent more time in this room

than we did in our college dorms.

This is ah our little oasis.

Of course it seemed nicer back then.

- I'm sure.

I'm going to change.

- That's ah that's really not necessary.

(door thuds)

(eerie music)

(door clicks)

- Oh my God.

Um this should more than compensate you for your time.

- I didn't know I was getting paid.

- Why, why would I expect you to do this for free?

It's your job right?

- I just figured it was an exchange

for you not telling my parents.

(camera clicks)

- Why would I tell them?

- Wouldn't you wanna know if you were them?

- Absolutely not.

What?

You'd wanna know if your mother were turning tricks?

- My mother wouldn't...

So I could have said no?

- You still can.

You can walk right out.

You can leave right now if you like.

(eerie music)

Ah well I was ah just going to fix myself a drink.

Want anything?

- I'm fine, thank you.

(gentle music) (glass clinking)

- Hey you wanna go get it?

Here, go ahead, get it.

(engine rumbling)

♪ Go on

(car door bangs)

♪ Get out of here

♪ You've got everything you came for

♪ Warm arms

- Fuck.

♪ Warm bed to fall into when

♪ You can't get what you tell out of your head

(phone ringing)

♪ Go on you've made yourself clear

♪ You're no good for no one and now

♪ You put your selfish hands and your selfish tongue

♪ On my body but we both know

- Hi, this is Britney, you called?

- [Man] How does it usually start?

- [Britney] With a stranger.

- That really make a difference?

- What do you think?

I'll start it off with some small talk like

what do you do for a living?

What do you like to do for fun?

- You ever ask them why they're hiring an escort?

- Usually it becomes obvious.

- Then let me ask you.

Why the hell do ya...

Why do you do this?

(eerie music)

- I like to fuck okay?

- So get a...

A boyfriend.

You know make some other 18 year old feel like

the luckiest person alive.

- You've obviously never been with a high school boy.

- (sputters) No, can't say that I have.

- It isn't pretty, they're like weed whackers or something.

And then first thing Monday morning

all the kids at school know every detail and then some.

It sucks.

- [Man] And then some?

- School boys exaggerate.

- Yeah well, the exaggerations only get bigger

as we get older.

- I doubt any of my clients brag about what we do.

- [Man] Well come on, Daphne who's gonna brag about

paying for sex?

- They treat me with respect.

- [Man] (scoffs) Give me a break.

- I'm serious, they treat me better than any guy

I've ever dated.

- [Man] Yeah you've dated the wrong guys.

- Take a look at what's out there.

- So poor little Daphne sells her body

because she can't get a date.

- I sell a fantasy.

For five or six hours a week.

I make more money than my dad makes and

he hates his job.

- What do you do with all that cash?

Drugs?

- I'm saving for a rainy day.

- Oh yeah.

- No really I've saved almost all of it.

- Well you know, I hate to be the one to break this to you

but they're all rainy days.

- Actually it's beautiful out today.

- No one's forcing you to do this?

No pimp?

- [Daphne] No, no.

Nothing like that at all.

- You're a willing victim?

- I don't consider myself a victim.

It's exciting, it's a rush, you know I'm in control.

- [Man] You could never hurt?

- There's no emotional attachment so no.

I don't know how I could get hurt.

(eerie music)

At least I like my job.

(eerie music)

Did Sarah like to fuck?

I mean you guys came here all the time right?

Certainly not for the view.

- Nope, not for the view.

- I guess I'll take that drink now

if you don't mind, please.

(eerie music)

(ice clinking)

Thank you.

- [Man] We'd come here, Sarah and I...

- To fucking.

- To um being alone.

(glasses tinking)

♪ She said be quiet, be still

♪ She said I'm not

(keyboard clicking) (muttering)

(snorts)

- Enter.

Oh my God.

Dining at the Y?

♪ She said I hope you understand

- [Daphne] Did you figure them all out?

- G f e girlfriend experience right?

But...

- It basically just means I kiss on the mouth.

- [Man] Hmm, well then wouldn't k o m make a lot more sense?

- Some are vague that way but a few are right on the money

like b b b j.

- [Man] Bareback blowjob means no condom.

- Very good.

And dining at the Y?

- [Man] Yeah that one at least made sense.

I mean as much sense as any of this.

So will you really do anything and everything?

That's your motto right?

♪ I can see in your eyes

♪ I see

- So you were partially right before

about not being able to find a date on a Saturday night.

I was tired of being alone.

- No friends?

- None worth talking about.

So I'm looking through the paper for a movie, a band

like anything to do.

I'm not about to sit home and sulk, again.

And that's when I notice the escort ads in the back.

So it was a fantasy.

- That word again.

- It's a good word.

Suddenly I was completely turned on by the idea

of fucking some stranger for money.

- What about the house, kids, white picket fence fantasy?

(clock ticking) (eerie music)

- Yeah what about it?

So I called one of the numbers and said I was looking for

work about an hour later I met the owner at a coffee shop.

He told me what to charge for a full service and massage

and he asked if I knew what would be expected of me.

- [Man] Did you?

- No idea, I've never even given a massage in my life.

- [Man] But you could fake your way through the rest?

- More than fake my way.

He gave me a beeper and told me someone would be in touch,

it went off before I finished my latte.

- So did that first time live up to your fantasy?

- No, not at all. (smacking)

I returned the beeper the next morning.

- Why?

You felt degraded.

- No it was to goofy to be degrading.

- [Man] Okay then scared.

- But not scared off.

I just wanted to be self employed.

I did some online research, I got one of those prepaid

cell phones and placed my ad.

I bought this uniform thought it'd be my gimmick.

And since you were getting a real school girl

I could charge more.

- (laughs) But if that first time didn't

fulfill your fantasy...

- I wanted to give it another try I mean,

most of the time I don't even know what my fantasy's are

until they start to happen and it's like

oh yeah that reminds me.

I don't know, perhaps I fulfilled something else.

- Do you trust me?

- You're paying me to trust you.

♪ Step inside

♪ Feel my heart beat fast for you my baby

- [Man] Now lie back on the center of the bed.

♪ Step inside

♪ Feel me shaking, trembling for you baby

(jingling) - Wait.

♪ Don't you know it's you that brings me down

(shivering)

♪ Oh step inside me now

(shivering) (jingling)

- [Man] You liked being blindfolded?

- Um with Harlan yeah.

It's fun not knowing what's gonna happen next.

- [Man] But what about being in control?

- Who said anything about not being in control?

- I take it you see him regularly.

- Once a week for about an hour or so.

- Almost like dating.

- It's not like we talk on the phone or eat dinner.

- You just skip all that and get right to the good stuff.

- Most of my clients are regulars,

it's only if I'm feeling adventurous that I try someone new.

(chattering)

- [Man] Her name's Britney.

- [Man] Where'd you find her?

- [Man] Theschoolgirlescorts.com.

(laughing)

No wait a minute it's this site man.

It's got all these ads from all these hot 18 year old chicks

from across the country.

- [Man] Yeah right have you even seen her?

She's probably older than your mom.

Hey Bud.

- Mike.

- Nah I spent like 500 bucks just for an hour with her.

- Whoa no piece is worth 500 bucks.

Not when you can get it for free.

(door bell rings)

♪ I'm on the dance floor

♪ School girls gonna give me some

♪ Need something sweet for me to move my feet

♪ I'm on the dance floor

♪ A 20 dollar dream for a 50 dollar thing

(chattering)

- [Man] Yeah Mike.

(chattering)

- [All] Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike

- While these guys are getting me a drink.

You and I are gonna play around of snap.

Pick a bracelet.

Pull it really hard.

Orange.

You get a kiss.

(cheering)

- What sort of mood do you have to be in for that?

- Depressed.

- [Bud] Oh and what being groped by a dozen guys

at a bachelor party cheers you up?

- They're harmless.

Besides I only use my safe bracelets.

- [Bud] They didn't protect your secret from me.

- It's just...

- [Bud] What?

- This is so embarrassing.

I know what it's like to be the popular girl for an hour.

- [Bud] Daphne...

- This.

- [Bud] Today?

- All of it every time.

It makes me less invested with life at school and at home

and it's...

Mine, it's just mine.

And because of it I don't have to play the game

I don't have to pretend to be friends

with people that I hate

and I don't need to rely on anyone not even my parents.

(camera clicking)

It's just a little bit of a fuck you that helps

get me through the day.

(eerie music)

(sniffling)

(eerie music)

- I'll be right back.

- Okay.

(eerie music)

(door thuds)

(eerie music)

(clicks)

Oh my God.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

(clicks)

(water splashing)

(clicks)

- You know when I was growing up it was just me and my mom

and we were really poor so she would buy things at fire

sales and thrift stores, you know whatever was cheapest.

One day I come home from second grade

and there are all these boxes in our apartment,

it's stacked to the ceiling.

She had bought 20 cases of hotel soap for five bucks.

I didn't even use a normal size bar of soap

until I got to college.

- The money in the briefcase.

- I told you it's for you.

- But you just said that...

- I'm so poor anymore.

(eerie music)

Oh geez I'm sorry.

- About what?

I'm just peeing.

- I know but...

- Please I have one client who pays

to have me pee on his face.

- And that's okay?

- $500 to take a pee, that's awesome.

(water splashing)

A lot of my guys don't even want sex

they just talk for like most of the hour.

They talk really.

It's as if they have no one else to talk to

or no one in the world who finds them interesting,

who wants to listen, I don't know.

Then I give them a blowjob and send them on their way.

You'd be amazed at how many wives won't do that.

I understand not wanting to pee on your husband's face

but come on, a blowjob?

- Wait I thought you just said they didn't want sex?

- Not sex, a blowjob.

- A blowjob isn't sex?

- No, sex is penis entering the vagina.

- But if you...

- No, penis vagina period, get it straight.

- And where'd you get this definition?

- What do you mean where?

Okay so you have your first real boyfriend

and the subject finally comes up with your parents

are you and David having sex?

They never ask questions like

Daphne do you let David fuck you in the ass?

Does David eat your pussy?

Do you give David blowjobs?

(camera clicking)

It's always are you having sex?

That's the question, no variations allowed.

It's almost as if they're reading an instruction manual

and if they don't get it right they fail as parents.

- And their kids will grow up to be prostitutes.

- Well at the very least.

- (chuckles) You know for me it was always pretty much

if you touched someone below the waist that was sex.

Christ making out was sex.

- Dude things have changed since you were in school.

- I need another drink.

You?

- You're paying me you don't have to get me drunk.

(smacks)

- No I'm not...

- I'm kidding.

(ice clinking)

- So what do you remember about Sarah?

- Um definitely white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

- Oh, she used to make those just for you you know.

- I used to dream about those cookies.

My first fantasy.

(chuckles)

I'd come home from school and I just knew she'd been baking

the whole street smelled like white chocolate cookie dough.

It was so good.

(eerie music)

I guess I was 13 when it happened.

My parents tried to explain but you know my...

- No I'm not even sure I understood, not completely.

- I did.

At least one thing.

- What's that?

- I just never wanted to be as sad as you.

What do you remember about Sarah?

♪ Did you taste my tear?

♪ You were so near to me I could not see

♪ You were so dear to me

♪ Did you taste my tear?

♪ Unclear view of you I could not see

♪ You were so near to me

So you never leave your house anymore

and it's kinda weird.

- Not completely true.

Every Monday I still go for pizza

just like I always did with Sarah.

- Sally's, Pepe's, Modern's?

- Pepe's thank you very much.

I pull into the parking lot right at four o'clock

as they're about to open, sit in booth 22

with my back to the door so I don't see anyone...

- And no one sees you...

- And I order the same thing every week

a large white clam and garlic pie with a pitcher of beer.

It was the one ritual I wouldn't allow myself to give up.

- Unlike work and...

- Work seemed pointless.

There was no one to return home to anymore.

- I think I'll definitely take another drink now after all.

Why not right?

- Exactly.

- No I got it, I got it, sit.

♪ I'm cold and I'm cheap

♪ I don't think I could sleep

♪ Had high hopes and a short little reach

♪ I'm loaded and sure

♪ I don't live here no more

♪ I got all the symptoms, the medicine but no cure

♪ I'm warm and detached and a photograph

- Huh.

Max, your breakfast is up here.

Max come here boy.

Max.

Max, come here boy.

(clattering)

- [Daphne] So what do you do for fun?

- (laughs) Sell things on Ebay.

Sarah's things mostly.

- That's fun.

- It keeps me occupied.

I used to like sitting out on my deck,

especially at this time of year.

Cold drink in hand, toss a couple of tennis balls to Max

but...

- Sorry.

- You know I'm okay in the knowledge that everything

comes to an end, it makes me feel a little safe even.

Sarah used to do that for me, make me feel safe.

Just knowing she'd be there when I walked

through the front door enabled me to do just about anything.

- It was yours.

- Yeah, it was mine.

What about you?

- Hmm?

- Fun.

- Oh fun.

The crossword puzzle every morning.

- Now that's excitement.

- It wakes me up, it makes me feel smart, productive even.

- Getting accepted into Yale doesn't make you feel smart?

- It just means I didn't get into Harvard.

(laughs)

- And what about when you're with Harlan

how does that make you feel?

♪ Oh let me tell you about pain and sorrow

♪ Cry, cry, cry like there is no tomorrow

♪ Oh let me tell you about pain and sorrow

♪ Cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry

♪ Like there is no tomorrow

- The next question.

- [Bud] How old is he?

- He's like 32.

- [Bud] And is that about average?

- Most of the guys are older than that like 40's, 50's.

- Doesn't it bother you that you're fulfilling this

school girl fantasy...

- I told you it was a good word.

- For someone old enough to be your father?

- Older guys are hot.

And come on is there anything wrong with fantasy?

I mean doesn't everybody have one?

Aren't they always just playing in the backs of our minds

like you're into feet or tickle torture?

You see somebody you find attractive

and the next thing you know...

- You're picturing them in bondage gear.

- If that's what you're into yeah.

Why not?

- I don't know.

- You know exactly what I'm talking about.

You saw me at that bachelor party

and that changed everything.

Got you thinking.

Come on tell me how long have you been fantasizing

about what we're going to do?

- With you specifically or...

- I would hope so but with anyone.

- It really never entered my mind until

until I knew you were available and then...

- Never before that?

Not even when you'd lie in bed awake at night?

- No.

- What about when you cum?

- What do you mean?

- I mean when you masturbate

is this what you're thinking about?

- No.

- Really?

God when I cum I'm like off on some other planet.

I'm never thinking about the person that I'm with.

- Well could that be because you're with some guy

who's spanking you or...

- Shut up.

(laughs)

To be clear on one thing, I never came that first time.

- Yeah but you know what I mean.

- Nope not even with people that I like.

- Harlan?

- Nope.

- That bother you?

- It used to but now I just think it's normal.

I mean one of my regulars he told me that when he cums

with his wife he pictures me giving head to someone else.

- [Bud] What does he picture when he's cumming with you?

- His wife getting gang banged of course.

- And this is normal?

- I'm afraid it's more normal than

any of us are willing to admit.

♪ I'm bleeding and laughing

♪ Naked and walking

♪ Favorite drinking buddy

♪ Brother and brother

(scraping)

♪ Neighbors and logons

(water splashing)

♪ And blessings

♪ Brother oh brother

- Do you mind if I take my clothes off?

- Be my guest.

♪ Please I'm waiting

(clapping)

Impressive.

- That would be part of Mr. Chang's fantasy.

- [Bud] Another of your regulars?

- The first and third Saturday of the month.

- [Bud] What else does Mr. Chang like?

- To toss my salad.

- God, and you like this?

- If I don't like it I'm not in control.

- Okay so you talk yourself into...

- I enjoy the pleasure he gets out of doing it.

After I undress I'm to kneel on the edge of the bed

with my knees spread at least 24 inches apart.

- [Bud] Specific.

- It's all in the details.

I mean you've visualized out the fantasy so many times

in your head, it's what you're paying for.

My shoulders have to be down touching the bed.

I can't speak, I can only breath heavily or whimper.

- [Bud] Whimper?

- [Daphne] If I have to.

- And he...

- That's it, I mean that's all he wants.

- Maybe that's enough.

- For him I really believe that it is.

(laughs)

- What is it?

- [Daphne] Nothing.

- [Bud] Come on what could possibly be embarrassing now?

- Oh this.

Alright.

After our first time he told me I tasted like

sweet and sour chicken.

(laughs)

- Tastes just like chicken (laughs).

- It's not funny.

- I'm sorry.

- I haven't eaten Chinese since.

I used to love Chinese.

(rock music)

♪ A Summer's worth of bottle rocket battles in one weekend

♪ We've been at each other's throats

♪ And you leave right on cue

♪ This disappearing act gets older every time you tweak it

♪ And the only person you can really change

♪ These days is you

♪ And it was once before you noticed

♪ And twice before I cared

♪ Three times and

Hi this is Britney, you called?

Really?

(door bell ringing)

♪ And twice before you share

♪ But this time let's get this over with right here

♪ Now, you don't really want nobody

♪ Knowing what you're thinking

- I like this room, comfy.

- Wouldn't you ah,

wouldn't you prefer the bedroom?

- You'll have a much better time in here.

- I will?

- I promise.

- Don't you wanna talk first?

- Talk later.

Right now we're gonna play around of snap.

You wanna pick a bracelet and pull it really hard.

- But what if I break it?

- You win.

- What do I win?

- Depends on the color of the bracelet.

- Blue is my favorite color.

- Mine too.

Hard.

(snaps) (cries out)

- I've never won anything before.

What do I get?

- You'll see.

- I like this game.

(ominous music)

- What's, what's brown for?

- That would be Mr. Chang's favorite.

(laughs)

- Um, green?

- Dining at the Y.

- Ohh.

- Love that one.

- Oh yeah.

Black.

- Sex.

- [Bud] Penis vagina sex.

- We've been through this.

It's the only kind.

- Right.

And please inform me which are the safe ones?

- Well orange you know, yellow's hug, red is lap dance.

- Oh okay.

So you never take them off during a call?

- They're the source of my secret powers.

Is there anything else you would like to know Mr. Drake?

- [Bud] Please it's Buddy.

- Is that your real name?

- Why?

- I don't know you just don't seem like a Buddy.

- Well you don't seem like a Britney.

- No but it works for the job.

Conjures up the right images.

- Well Britney my real name is Nicholas Drake Junior.

- That's not so bad.

- I hated being called Junior as a kid so

told everyone to call me Buddy.

(eerie music)

You know what I think that's what I miss the most, kissing.

- You haven't kissed anyone?

- Not since Sarah.

- [Daphne] That's a long time.

(snaps)

Enjoy the show?

- I just needed to know it was really you.

- And now that you do?

(taps)

Do you like looking at me?

- [Nicholas] More than I want to admit.

- You can admit it all you want, no one will know.

- [Nicholas] You have beautiful hands.

- I'm sure that's exactly what you like looking at.

- [Nicholas] Among other things.

I wish you were a little...

- [Daphne] Older?

- [Nicholas] It sounds like you've heard that one before.

- [Daphne] Yeah it's right up there with

if only I weren't married then things would be

completely different.

- [Nicholas] And I wouldn't like looking at you anymore.

- [Daphne] No you'd probably still like looking at me

but...

♪ Just watched as she turned around

♪ But I can't feel down

♪ Cause I'm already scraping the bottom

♪ And it's lonely down here

(banging)

♪ And I can't stop the fear

♪ Reliving all these moments one by one

♪ Scene by scene over and over again

♪ I just want this to end

♪ I can't believe this is me

♪ So I'm walking away

♪ I didn't have anything left to say

♪ I couldn't tell you if I did

♪ But I can't feel down

I almost quit once.

There's a millionaires boys club run out of a hotel

in Manchester, the president of Grove Aircraft

and like everyone important who works there,

all men, all white, all married,

they meet Saturday nights to play cards.

- And do they play cards.

- Yeah but they also have three or four girls waiting

in as many rooms.

Everyone just takes turns

or does whatever they're in the mood for.

It was the most I ever made at one time

and they've called me every week since

but I can't do it again.

- [Nicholas] Why not?

- It was the only time that I ever felt like a whore.

It was like a frat party for 50 year olds

not one of them like women or even sex

it was all about high fiving,

bragging to your friends about some hot piece of ass.

- But if that's the fantasy.

If that's what they're paying for.

- I know but it didn't turn me on, it was gross.

- Well Chang doesn't really turn you on either does he?

- I like Mr. Chang, he's gentle and respectful.

His enthusiasm is admirable.

And with Mr. Chang it's not about bragging it's about, need.

- Need?

- Yeah.

Just like you need to eat your pizza every Monday night

Mr. Chang needs to eat my ass.

(laughs)

- Simple as that.

- If he could do it to his wife, I'm sure that he would.

- You honestly believe that?

- I wanna believe that.

- Want or need?

- Do you remember Zack?

- Yeah vaguely, tall, skinny kid you were hanging out with

last summer, you introduced me once,

he seemed polite.

- Very polite.

You wanna talk about getting hurt.

- You don't have to.

- No, I've never told anyone why we broke up.

- Well your secret is safe with me.

- So my parents were away for the weekend

and Zack was going to stay overnight.

We'd been together for like a year and a half at that point,

but this would be the first time we'd get to spend

the night together.

We were fooling around it was pretty intense,

we'd been having sex for awhile at this point,

he was my first, my first everything.

- Your first kiss?

- I think he was the first boy who ever wanted to kiss me.

- But a high school boy right?

- My first weed whacker.

I didn't know any better at the time.

Anyways I really wanted this night to be special you know,

do something wild, something he'd never forget,

so I turned onto my stomach

and I asked him if he wanted to experiment.

- Experiment, meaning?

- We'd just seen Last Tango in Paris.

(chuckles)

And he sat up and he asked why

and he got all like red in the face

and I don't know it was like there was something wrong with

me for even thinking about it or something, I don't know.

- Maybe you're not supposed to figure out the fantasy?

- Maybe.

He said that only sluts did that

and he wasn't dating a slut.

- Ouf, that's harsh.

- It gets better.

He got up and got dressed and left

and I don't know he never talked to me again.

I mean, I just, I don't get it I don't know

what I did that was so...

- You stripped away all his secret powers.

- Right.

It's okay to fantasize about me being a slut

but definitely can't act like one.

♪ Inside for days and days and days

Whatever.

♪ You missed the flowers, all the chain

♪ Now it's gray and you are still

♪ You know it always passes on

♪ Come on, come on it passes on

♪ The little sunshine in your hair

♪ Work it out, work it out out there

♪ Go outside you'll feel much better

♪ Inside for days hiding in shelter

♪ Love your bedroom oh so dark I know it's hard

♪ I know it's hard

Zack used to do this weird thing.

He'd be at my house we'd say goodnight, he'd leave

and then like 13 minutes and some seconds later

he'd call just to let me know he'd made it home.

He always wanted to let me know everything was okay

without my asking, I miss that.

- Did Zack like to exaggerate?

First day of my sophomore year at Yale

my schedule was a disaster, you know,

I'm thinking that this semester is gonna be pure torture.

I get back to my dorm room and I can't find the fucking key,

I don't even remember my roommate's name,

now I'm locked out with like a dollar in my wallet

the day cannot possibly get any worse

and that's when the music started blaring from this room

across the hall.

So I'm about to go pound on the door you know like

turn that crap down please, I'm having a bad day

but I don't know something in the song that was playing

just caught my attention so instead I took a seat

out in the hall, my back to my door

and just started to listen really listen you know.

11 songs, 33 minutes and I don't know some 29 seconds later

the albums over and I had no idea who the band was

or if I'd ever get a chance to find out

but here I was sitting on the floor

in my sophomore dorm having a life changing experience.

So after I don't know 10 minutes of absolute silence

I stood finally and headed...

well I don't know where I was heading

but the door opened and this girl...

She was beautiful.

But not just beautiful there was something else

I felt like you know, I knew I'd never seen her before

but I felt somehow like...

Like I recognized her, you know like she'd always been

there in the back of my mind.

Anyway it turns out she's been watching me the whole time

through the peephole.

She invited me in and I never left.

- Does it get easier over time?

- What?

- Losing someone you love.

- No.

- Great.

- Well I could lie and tell you it does

but that hasn't been the case for me.

- Zack would never talk about his ex girlfriend even when

I'd ask, he'd just close up and say it didn't matter.

- They always matter.

- Yeah I found out later from a friend that his

ex girlfriend partied a lot and cheated on him all the time.

- Was her name Britney?

- She went to a Catholic school and had really rich parents.

- Pleasure to meet you Britney.

- I never would've cheated on him.

- Sure you would've.

- No I don't...

- He was your first, everything.

One day you would've wondered what it was like to

kiss someone else to...

- Just to like be with someone different?

Whether it mattered or not.

- Something like that.

- So it wouldn't have lasted anyway.

- Look men are threatened by sexually aggressive women.

- But isn't that the whole porno fantasy?

- Well you know it's one thing to watch someone else

doing it on video or to think about the possibilities but...

- But?

- We're frightened by those fantasies.

- But you would think that the person you date

or I don't know would be someone you could experiment with,

have fun with not hide from them who you really are.

- I'm not so sure our fantasies honestly

reflect who we really are.

- I think they do.

And anyway that's probably why they're so scary

to all of us.

What about with you and Sarah?

- In the beginning it was amazing

but then time stepped in.

- That's depressing.

- It happens.

A little bit of a fuck you that makes the days seem endless.

♪ No one left here to love or care for me

♪ They've flown off to the sky

♪ Feelin' lonely so lonely, so blue

♪ I would leave to

♪ They wouldn't want me to

(eerie music)

Are many of your clients married?

- Um I'd say about half.

- That bother you at all?

- Should it?

- I honestly don't know.

- I mean I'm not the problem.

- I'm sure, many of the wives would disagree.

- Only because they don't wanna take responsibility

for the problems in their own marriages.

- But if you weren't selling this school girl fantasy

maybe the husbands would never have strayed.

- But the husbands came looking for me.

- So that's what you'd say

if confronted by one of their wives?

- I'd tell her that for an hour I made her husband feel

a little bit less alone.

- Would you tell her how he made you feel?

♪ December 31st, 11:59 I think I'm happy now

♪ At least from time to time

♪ I had to let it go

♪ I had to let it slip

♪ Funny how it all works out

♪ When you've given up on it

♪ Rooftops and stars above

♪ The smell of cold dead leaves

♪ Our skin was all in knots

♪ You were moving under me

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ I want you

♪ Oh, I want you

♪ December 31st, 11:59

♪ Come a little closer girl

♪ It's time to rise and shine

♪ I had to let it go

♪ We had to let it slip

♪ Funny how it all works out

- What would you do if

one of your regulars fell in love with you?

- I wouldn't wanna know.

- But you admit that it's possible?

- Perhaps.

- Could you ever fall in love with one of them?

- Yes.

♪ Oh I want you

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

♪ Cars and history turn to rust

- I can't do this.

- Of course you can.

- No you don't understand.

I've known you my whole life.

- It'll be okay.

What does clear mean?

(camera clicking)

(eerie music)

(clicks)

(gentle music)

- Clear means I'll do anything.

(phone ringing)

(clicks)

What?

Lie back on the pillows.

- Hello I'd like to make an appointment with Britney.

- I used to have the biggest crush on you.

- I never knew that.

- I used to shut off the lights in my room

and just watch you for like hours.

You'd just sit there not moving.

- When was this?

- Oh seventh grade.

Somehow I got it in my head that

you never dated anyone after Sarah

because you were waiting for me.

- I was so angry.

- Because she walked out on you.

(banging)

- I lacked ambition,

I was content in my little house with my little job

and my little wife, I thought I was happy.

- Were you?

- It sure felt like it at the time.

- And now?

- This is my way of dealing with all that happiness.

- What makes you think I would do that?

- I need you to do this for me Daphne.

I need to stop thinking about her.

- Why?

When?

- Exactly like I said.

- I'm good with the details.

(rock music)

♪ So don't kid yourself

(rock music)

(gun firing)

♪ All by yourself

♪ A pity you must take it alone

♪ With no one there

♪ To help you through these days and it's true

♪ That no one cares

♪ That there's no savior coming for you

♪ And you're so scared

♪ That there's no one to reach you

♪ But maybe someday soon you could be opened

♪ To something new

♪ And someone could comfort you

♪ But until then

♪ You're all by yourself locked in your room

♪ In from the sun without a friend

♪ No one to forgive you all that you do

♪ And no one's there

♪ No ghost to guide or govern you

♪ When no one cares

♪ When no one tries to reach you

♪ But maybe someday you will know

♪ How much you have grown

♪ And what it means to be whole

♪ But for now

♪ You are alone

♪ You are alone

♪ You are alone

♪ You are alone

♪ You are alone

♪ You are alone

♪ The girl you hate she loves you so

♪ She'd do anything for you I know

♪ She sits and stares so all alone

♪ Pulling out hairs staring at the phone

♪ Why won't you call her make her blue go away

♪ Don't you need her?

♪ She needs you night and day

♪ Just tell her if you want her let her know

♪ Don't hurt her if you love her show

♪ The girl you hate she's so in love with you

♪ And this I know I tell you it is true

♪ The girl you hate I bet you love her don't you?

(wind chimes tinkling)