Original subtitles

[Agnes] Previously on Forgive Me.

[soft dramatic music]

[Agnes] Oh, what commit he sinned.

What sin is that?

Becoming pregnant.

Using in-vitro, using a donor.

Mmm, those are sins, yeah.

Why?

Why are they sins?

What did Jesus ever say about in-vitro fertilization?

Well, nothing.

I'm runnin' out of time and I want to be a mother.

Okay, I just want to be a mother

and I cannot see how that's a sin.

Wanting to be a mother is not a sin.

I want you to see a doctor.

What's the matter with him?

Nothing.

It's not just nightmares, it's,

it's like waking nightmares.

Waking dreams.

[ominous music]

So this is it right here, this spot.

What is it?

It's a spot.

Is it cancer?

I have a mass in my head.

What's it about?

It's about two millimeters.

[thumping]

[ominous music]

[heartbeat thumping]

[singing in foreign language]

[rap music playing background]

[cage rattling loudly]

Sorry.

I've sinned.

Okay.

I feel like I know you.

I feel the same way.

[Priest] You do?

When I see you, you know,

up there doing your...

You feel like you know me.

You're staring.

It's okay.

There's not really a lot else to look at in here.

Duh.

How long have you been coming here?

About three years.

You haven't confessed before.

I've been pretty good.

I'm contemplating divorce.

Well, um.

I think that married people do.

You know, it's, it's part of deciding

whether or not to stay committed.

But you gotta look at it,

you gotta think about what life would be like

to not be married.

I just don't want to spend the rest of my life

thinking I made a mistake.

Me, neither.

What? What?

You mean you want to go out and get laid

by a bunch of different people or something?

You think that's a more exciting,

happy way to live?

Yeah. [chuckles]

I mean, those other things,

that's not what God wants for you

and it's not even what you think it is.

It's not a way to be happy.

Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet.

I just don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life.

Hey.

Scares me to sometimes.

If you don't want to be alone,

why'd you become a priest?

[inhaling sharply]

[birds cawing and flapping]

[door thudding softly]

[soft dramatic music]

[door clicking]

[eerie whispering]

He's awake.

Good afternoon.

How are you feeling?

Huh.

Better.

You want some coffee?

Juice?

Yeah, juice, juice.

John Dominic, can we get some juice, please?

Yes, of course.

Do you need to change anything?

When the doctor is here,

I want you to listen to her and don't be

so damn obstinate.

They can do more for you.

Why won't you do the radiation?

It makes everything worse.

The side effects are temporary.

The cure is permanent.

They make drugs for side effects.

There's every chance you'll recover

but only if you do the radiation.

It just makes it worse.

[knocking]

This is the doctor.

I told her you were too cranky to leave the house.

[coughing]

You still angry with me?

Yeah.

Good.

Punishing me will give you something to live for.

Okay, here you go.

Let's get you up a little bit.

Nope, get rid of it.

Fuzzy tongue dried out feeling.

The doctor's here.

[Father] Hello, Doctor.

Call me Agnes.

Okay, Fathers, let's give them a little bit of privacy,

shall we?

[Father] Thanks for coming.

My pleasure.

They tell me you didn't want to come back in.

The surgery went well enough.

We got all there could be got.

In this situation,

a good success.

We'll target what's left with radiation.

That's what you're gonna have to do

if you want to get clear of this.

I'm not sure that's what I should do.

Surgery alone doesn't usually do it.

Your tumor grew really fast.

It took me by surprise.

I'm sorry about that,

but you know I was just messing with you when I said

that your brain tumor was God's will.

I can be a real bitch.

The sooner we start, the better the results.

I understand what you want me to do.

And I'm praying on it.

I'll let you know, but it was really nice

of you to come here and tell me.

I only came 'cause I want to confess.

Yeah.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It's been...

Awhile.

It's okay.

Go ahead.

What's wrong?

Everything.

Everything you said would happen,

everything I was worried about.

[sighing]

I spoke out of turn.

I didn't know when you came to confess

to the in-vitro you were already pregnant.

Because I didn't tell you on purpose.

I didn't need you to censor yourself.

I wanted to hear the rule of the church,

argue it.

Everybody sins.

The reasons you do it, the better.

Sinning out of love,

wanting to be a mother,

I don't think it's a bad motivation to sin.

Makes it not right, but it's understandable.

God doesn't understand.

I believe he does.

Are you gonna, I mean,

I think you'd be a good mom.

Right?

Good provider.

You already showed the lengths you're willing

to go to for your child.

Too far.

[sighing]

It's twins.

But one of them's not gonna make it.

Didn't make it.

It's dead inside me.

You're right, I was selfish.

I don't think it's selfish.

They told me it was gonna be dangerous

for someone my age.

But you couldn't have known.

Well, you knew.

No, I didn't.

Oh, tampering with God's will.

Sure, okay, yeah, I mean,

yeah, you did that, right?

God isn't punishing you.

Hey.

He didn't punish you.

Not on this earth.

These, these things happen.

It was risky.

But the other baby,

the other baby's okay.

He's gonna be okay.

But I'm sure you did everything you could.

I'm sure that you did everything right.

[Agnes] He is punishing me.

No.

No.

I'm sorry you're hurting so badly, but no.

They were always different.

One strong heartbeat, one faint heartbeat.

One big, one small.

One taking all the nutrients.

So what's gonna happen now?

Are they gonna take it out?

No.

It's gonna dissolve.

Be absorbed.

It'll become nutrients for the other one.

I'm sorry.

I can't even mourn it.

It's not stillborn, it's not a miscarriage.

It's just vanishing.

A vanishing twin.

You are mourning it.

Just stop feeling guilty.

I'm scared.

Of what?

Of my vanishing twin going to hell.

It wasn't born, it didn't need to repent.

Agnes, Agnes.

You can put your trust in God.

He's loving.

Your baby is with him.

You baby's at peace,

so you should feel peace knowing that.

Your baby did not go to hell.

Are you sure?

[Priest] Yeah.

I feel like an idiot.

I feel so prestigious.

Why wouldn't you worry about

your baby's eternal soul?

Why won't you worry about your own soul?

Will I even be able to love this baby

that killed the other one?

Yes.

It's, it wasn't the child's doing.

You know that.

That's not greed.

It ate all the nutrients.

He took all the food.

I am sure that there is a more

scientific explanation than greed.

I don't really give a shit about science right now.

It's not doing a lot for me lately.

Well, faith isn't gonna monitor this brain tumor.

Right now I need science as much as I need faith.

I mean, you're a doctor.

You dedicate your entire life to science

and right now you need faith, that's all.

We need each other.

Body and soul.

10 years of medical school.

All I could think is God is punishing me.

Did you think that

when I showed you your scans?

No. [chuckles]

I thought you were punishing me.

I was, a little.

Sorry.

I forgive you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when

you came to that confession.

It's, ah,

it's a terrible day.

A bad day, but a bad string of days.

You know, eventually you look back

and you know that they changed your life for the better.

There's that.

That lesson.

I know all this pain that you're going through,

all this sadness, it's so you can have that baby.

When you have that kid,

all that pain, it's gonna hold a different place

in your heart.

What are you talking about?

Are you talking about your tumor?

No, it's not the tumor.

Anyway, it's, I didn't, I didn't even know

about that then.

I had symptoms, but I was,

it was something else.

This is your confession, Agnes.

I defied God's law.

Please forgive me.

And you were mean to me at the hospital.

And I was a little bit mean to you at the hospital.

Anything else?

I've been a little bit mean to everybody lately.

My sister was against in-vitro.

I was waitin' for it and sure enough,

she said, "I told you so," yesterday.

I called her the C word.

[laughing]

Good.

I mean, as long as you're sorry.

[Agnes] I'm a little sorry.

Fine.

I was just so angry at God.

Of course.

[Agnes] That's all right?

[sighing]

Don't stay angry at God for long.

You'll regret it later.

Is he gonna tell me he's sorry?

If you listen close he'll say he loves you.

No, Father, I've heard that before.

God does love you.

What was, what was your thing?

The terrible thing that ended up wonderful?

I don't think I should say it.

Well, what terrible thing ends up wonderful?

The day I kicked you out of the confessional?

I found out I'm a dad.

Years ago, out of high school.

Became a dad and I didn't know.

I'd just seen her for the first time that day.

You fuckin' hypocrite.

I thought I'd lose everything.

Job, what I thought I was.

But you have got to come to realize that

no matter what you lose in the process,

you will gain a child.

We're not so different.

Yes, we are.

Some day, isn't it?

When I look at my girlfriends with their babies

and I resent them?

Oh yeah.

Well, I confess that.

Do you want to say a prayer?

For the, the one you lost?

Did you give the baby a name?

Lord God, ever caring and gentle,

we commit to your love this little one,

quickened to life for so short a time.

Enfold this soul in eternal life.

And we pray for Agnes

who is saddened by the loss of her child.

Give her strength and give her courage

in her time of sorrow.

May the two of them meet again one day

in the joy and the peace of your kingdom.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Do you think it has a soul, Father?

[Priest] What do you think it was?

All I know for sure is it was a heartbeat.

The rest is faith.

Maybe that's what I'll call her.

Just for myself.

Faith.

[humming]

[moaning]

How's the rumor mill these days, Sister?

[chuckling]

The Lord works in strange and entertaining ways, Father.

You certainly have made quite the impression.

I don't need you here.

I know you don't.

But I don't mind.

It's just the kind of service I find fulfilling, Father.

Carrying for the lame.

It's nice to feel needed.

There you go.

I don't need you.

Well...

I think that you need an ally now

more than ever.

People are wondering whether there is

a future for you in this vocation.

I'm just so pleased they think I have a future at all.

You're just gonna have to surprise them

and get yourself better, now aren't you?

Stop.

I'm fine.

Leave me alone.

[sighing]

Goodnight, John Dominic.

Sweet dreams, Father.

[wind howling]

What is it that's gotten worse?

It's not the side effects

that has you worried, is it?

Are they your dreams?

Nightmares?

You told your doctor this?

How are they dreams if I'm not asleep?

Oh, what do you think they are?

I don't know why they come to me.

I don't know why they appear to me.

You think that these are actual

saints appearing to you?

Angels?

But this, the growth in your brain,

I mean, that's an explanation.

So it needs to be treated.

If saints are talking to you,

if they were trying to tell you something,

would you listen to them or would you

try and get rid of them?

You're afraid that if you lose this tumor,

you lose your visitations.

That they'll go away.

The surgery didn't make them go away.

I made them angry.

[wind howling]

[thunder clapping]

[singing in foreign language]

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