Original subtitles

[Announcer] Previously on Forgive Me.

I seduced a man.

Why?

Curiosity.

I was young.

I was 14 I think.

And the man?

He was a teacher sort of.

? Ave Maria

? Ave Maria

? Ave Maria

? Ave Maria

? Ave Maria

Where the hell have you been?

Here.

I was working.

You drop off your kid

and then we hardly see you?

That wasn't the deal.

Gram, Gram, hey.

I'm sick Gram.

What's wrong with you?

I'm exhausted.

You're Exhausted?

I'm 81 years old,

chasing after a kid,

and you're fucking exhausted?

I'm sorry.

You're right.

You're right, you're right.

I'll come over tonight.

None of this means anything

if you don't get to know your own kid.

Don't be your mother.

Gram.

In the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit.

Forgive me father for I have sinned,

it has been a couple of weeks since my last confession.

Okay.

I had those lustful thoughts again.

Those illegal thoughts?

Um-hmm.

About the same little girl?

Same thing, same girl.

You didn't act on them?

No.

Of course not.

You didn't go back there did you?

No.

You didn't see her did you?

No.

I promised too.

I said some bad things to my mother.

Okay.

You want to know what?

Sure, if you want to tell me.

That she's a bad mother.

Is she?

Does it matter?

Of course.

Of course it matters.

It matters if it's true.

She's not great.

But still it's a sin to say that to your mother.

I found him.

I went looking.

[Priest] You found who?

The man.

The man who I -

The guy from when I was 14.

You found him?

The man who abused you?

He's died.

But I found out where he went.

Where they sent him.

Prairies.

Where in the prairies?

Three or four places.

They moved him around so,

he kept messing with the boys.

For like 10 years almost.

Smith I'm sorry.

Well that's great to hear.

But,

it would be more meaningful

to have that come from somebody,

look it

doesn't mean much coming from somebody

who's only been nice to me.

Wasn't even born when this

all went wrong.

How'd he die?

Old age.

Some old man blood disorder.

I don't think I understand.

You told me that the man who abused you,

you said that he wasn't a priest.

So why did he keep getting moved around?

How?

He was the choir master.

Church had choir masters?

Back then, I guess.

You were in the choir?

Baritone.

When you told your mother,

your mother went to the priest?

I didn't tell my mom.

I know you did.

No, my mother guessed.

She's intuitive.

Why would you think that?

I don't know.

I barely know that myself.

I just knew the choir master was gone.

One day we'd come to rehearsal

and there's this woman running it.

Do you know my mother?

You do?

Not really, no.

My grandmother knows your mother.

They're old friends.

You were actually ahead of me at Holy Heart of Mary.

Hearty hole of Mary.

I'd be like 20 years ahead of you.

I've got older brothers.

Yeah, who?

I think we're getting off topic.

So you don't know my mother?

I don't.

Not personally, no.

Why did you go looking?

How?

Internet, made some calls.

Back then it was news out west.

And what did you hope would happen if you found him?

I don't know.

Couple of things maybe.

That I would tell him

how

what we did has

colored my whole life.

All the things,

that not trusting people,

the problems with authority,

all of it.

To make him see.

You know, maybe if he saw me,

the way I am now

that he would, that it would change him.

That he would,

it would change the way he saw things.

Maybe to see how he remembered it.

To see if,

when he looked at me now

would he feel the same.

Now I feel to be alone,

care about me.

Do you still believe he did?

There were three or four other boys that,

they're prairie boys.

Probably more around here.

He didn't care about me

at all.

And it hurts you now.

I thought there was at least that.

That I had been loved

in this life.

At least once.

You could have a lot of love ahead of you.

You could.

The only thing you have to do is get yourself some help.

There is no help.

I thought talking to you was going to help.

I feel worst than ever.

It's got to get worse before it gets better.

I could do worse.

Yes you can.

And that's why you need to talk about it.

I mean, look how much talking about it

once changed everything.

It hasn't stopped me sinning?

It hasn't stopped me having the sinful thoughts.

But I mean, it did change

the way that you think about them.

Right?

I think that's a huge step.

Why can't you help me?

Be the help.

I'm not a doctor Smith.

O'Leary.

You know that already don't you?

So why didn't they send me to a doctor?

Then, in the 70s, why did I have to go see that priest?

He didn't send me to a doctor.

He should have.

He didn't.

I don't know.

But he was wrong.

Stupid, or scared.

He was scared.

I was scared of him.

Yeah, what's the point, right?

You were just a kid.

You know he said,

that what I did was a sin.

He made me do penance.

Do you remember the penance?

Ten Hail Mary's

and pray for women.

Pray for women?

What generally?

I didn't get it then or now.

All right look, that priest,

he might not have known what to do.

Maybe he was scared, but he was wrong.

And he did you just as much wrong as that choir master

by blaming you.

By making you think that it was your fault,

and by punishing you.

You turned to him in need

or your mother turned to him in need

and instead of protecting you

he protected an abuser.

That's messed with your head

just as much as the abuse.

Priests, we do make bad mistakes.

I mean we make terrible mistakes.

We do, we make mistakes like everybody else,

but that' why I do want you to go see the doctor.

Because I don't want to make a mistake.

You deserve the best help that you can get.

You don't deserve

what he did to you was beyond a mistake.

It was just evil.

Stupid maybe,

but evil obviously.

Everybody knows the church has put it's own reputation

ahead of the safety of its children for years.

All over the world,

and this situation is no different.

Just because the man that abused you wasn't a priest.

The church covered it up.

You should go see a lawyer as well as a doctor.

You think I should sue?

Could I sue?

I don't know if you could,

but a lawyer would be able to tell you.

I mean people do.

I'm going to bring a world of hurt on this place.

Why would you want that?

I don't,

but my council is for you to do what's right for you.

To be healthy, spiritually, mentally healthy.

That's what you want?

That's what I want.

Actually, I'm glad that you came in

because I've been holding on to this.

It's a name, I got it from my doctor.

I don't know if he'd be right for you,

but all you got to do is go in there

and describe the problem and they can give you a referral.

Okay?

Don't go get a counselor out of the phone book, all right?

Call these people.

Go see them first.

Take it.

Do you have anything else you want to confess?

Okay.

May the Lord Jesus Christ

who allowed himself to be sacrificed for us to the Father

and who transferred the power to forgive sins

to his church absolve you of your sins

through my ministry,

and through the grace of the Holy Spirit

to restore you to the perfect piece of the church.

Name of the Father, the Son,

and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Amen.

The Lord has put away all of your sins.

Glory be to God.

I look forward to seeing you again.

What's my penance?

We're going to apply those 10 Hail Mary's

from when you were 14.

Because they were wrongly prescribed.

Which I mean, if you think about it,

means you've been ahead in penance

all these years anyways so.

Nothing this time.

Peace be with you.

Sure.

Then Mrs. Hallings dropped out.

And then Mrs. Thomas dropped out,

and we end up with nobody,

unless we have you.

[woman gasps]

No!

Jean.

Oh dear God.

[woman sobbing]

Jean.

Father.

Jean.

You all right?

Yeah.

O'Leary?

You sent a sexual abuser to another diocese.

It was in the 80s,

his mother came to see you

he was being abused by the choir master.

The choir master?

Ah.

I handed that complaint up the chain of command.

The decision was taken under the higher level.

You passed the buck.

I did my job.

No.

No, what you did was leave that kid scared

and sick in the head for the rest of his life.

I did no such thing.

You told him it was a sin.

Well isn't it?

It's not the child's sin Jean.

He needed help.

Look, he didn't even say what happened.

It was his mother's suspicion.

They sent the guy far away

and what good would it have done

to force the kid to press charges?

No, you press charges.

You.

How can you sit there

and justify protecting a child predator?

You are arrogant.

Nobody understood these things 40 years ago.

I told him it was a sin

to dissuade him from going down that road.

What road?

Oh you know what I mean.

Well your friend, he went on to molest four more kids

before they caught him.

He was not my friend.

Jean, who made the decision not to report it?

I don't know.

I told the prowlet at the time

who's long died 20 years or more now.

I don't know if he decided

or if he consulted higher up.

Just so long you had no responsibility.

What should I have done?

You should have gotten him some help.

Sent him to a doctor or a therapist.

That's why he had parents.

That's not for priest to do.

His mother came to you.

She brought him to you.

I mean the guy was an employee of the church.

He was associated with the church.

I don't know if he was really an employee.

That's not the point.

Do you realize what you've done?

He could sue.

He could bring you down.

He could bring this whole parish down

right along beside you.

What was worse, Jean,

is that you put his soul in jeopardy.

He should sue.

There are laws against jeopardizing souls.

Come on, and the rest of it you're just making it up.

It's not the way it happened.

You should have turned the guy in.

We don't turn people in

for what we hear in confessions.

We don't do it.

You know this.

Oh you think we should make exceptions,

but we don't.

This man O'Leary, what he told you was in confession.

You are breaking the seal of the sacrament right now.

This is insane.

They should have prepared you for this at the seminary.

Well they tried.

But I mean, none of their hypothetical situations

ever made me feel like a villain.

Now you're not the villain

in any of this.

If I protect you then I am.

[slow melodic music]

[loud thump]

[wings flapping]

[dramatic music]

[heartbeat pulse]

? Amen

[singing in foreign language]

? Amen, Amen

[Narrator] Next time on Forgive Me.

Punishing me will give you something to live for.

You need an ally now more than ever.

You think that these are actual saints appearing to you?

Angels?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0