Original subtitles

[light music]

Hey Tommy.

[speaking a foreign language]

[suspenseful music]

[choking]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

[coffee brewing]

Nightmares?

Visitations, maybe.

Who was it this time?

I think Sebastian.

I like him.

Morning.

Morning.

There's eggs.

Yeah.

He seemed nice.

He did speak Italian in the dream, but.

[light music]

[choir music]

The terror you inspire and the pride of your heart

have deceived you.

You who live in the clefts of the rock,

who hold the height of the hill.

Although you make your nest

as high as the eagles.

From there, I will bring you down.

So sayeth the Lord.

We talk about the end of times.

We talk about global warming,

the fiscal cliff,

all kinds of scary things to keep us afraid.

We do not need to be afraid.

We need to trust in the Lord,

and we need to know that in our hearts,

we strive to find a place for us in his good grace.

We need to find a place of peace in ourselves,

and not be distracted by the ways of the world.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It's been 51 years since my last confession.

51?

I'm rounding up.

Last thing I wanna do is stretch the truth at this point.

What's kept you?

Nothing in particular.

I made a deal with God.

Okay.

I'm gonna bite.

What was the nature of the deal?

That I wouldn't trouble Him.

Unburdening my soul every week,

year in year out like a busybody.

That I would save it up and when it mattered,

I would come in and get the job done, efficiently.

Hm.

God agreed to this?

I had him over a barrel at the time.

You musta caught him on a weekday.

I didn't know you were allowed to joke.

Well, a lot's changed in 51 years.

Oh yes.

Heard about meat on Friday.

Was,

was there a falling out?

With God?

Mm hm.

No.

Not with God.

I wanted some self-determination.

Look,

I don't think it matters why I stopped

coming to weekly penance,

the fact is that I did and that I'm here now.

Seeking absolution.

Oh, let's get started.

Well, I um ...

I certainly planted two different crops,

side by side.

I couldn't avoid that, it was a small plot.

That is understandable.

I touched the skin of a dead pig

on a fair number of occasions.

But I had two boys, they loved football.

You know, you do seem to be focused

on the more obscure, Biblical sins.

I'm just getting started, Father.

They do get juicier.

I had sex while on my period,

and with a condom.

I was on the pill for 12 years, on and off.

But those things, you know,

I don't honestly feel penitent.

I don't honestly feel penitent about sex.

The fact is I had

a lot of it,

with whomever I wanted,

and sometimes just for something to do.

It was the '70s.

I never cheated on--

Well, I did cheat on somebody once.

For that, I am sorry,

because it hurt him.

Well, not terribly, but it did hurt him,

and I would like to be absolved for that.

Were you married?

Yes, but that's not whom I cheated on.

Which I suppose brings me to the divorce.

Had to be done, but ...

Well, it's a sin and I confess it.

If you're not

genuinely sorry,

my blessing is not going to absolve you.

But you will absolve me.

You will bless me.

I will offer you the blessing.

I'll pray for you but ...

Hm.

I gave my kids' dog to a bide awhile shelter,

and told them it went to a farm.

I lied all the time.

Oh, how I lied.

Almost always to protect other people's feelings.

You look good.

That's a nice haircut.

That type of thing.

Oh, I really enjoyed your book.

Personally, I don't know many great authors,

but I do know a lot of the self-published type,

and what do you say?

You lie.

It's the only reasonable thing.

You still don't sound sorry.

Well, I am for that.

Wish I'd had the nerve

to tell them they were shitty writers.

Forgive me.

That they were wasting their time,

and other people's,

and the trees.

That's not the same thing as being sorry to God.

Right, I think that your grace is what

we should be talking about here.

Your relationship with God.

I have a lot of ground to cover, Father.

Maybe you need to forgive God,

before you're ready to be forgiven.

That's blasphemy.

No, I don't think so.

You made a deal to abandon God for 50 years,

but God, he would never make that deal.

The only thing I'm saying is that I don't think

you're going to feel any healing benefit of absolution

while you remain angry.

Who says I'm angry?

You're distant from God,

and you're not here to become any closer.

I came here to confess and you're not letting me.

You were hurt,

and then you made your deal,

so who hurt you?

God?

God hurts everyone.

I was never so naive as to think I'd be different.

Then, who?

I had an abortion.

Are you sorry for that?

No.

It's a serious mortal sin.

What's your name?

Bookie, I'm called.

I was a librarian for some years.

Much of it on Sundays, that's a sin.

Bookie.

An abortion is a mortal sin.

For you to

confess it

and not feel penitent,

I feel like you are trying to cheat.

You think this is easy for me, Father?

They're my sins.

But isn't it the easy way?

To come in, confess,

once in a lifetime?

You save everything up,

you spend a few minutes,

you get absolution,

you wouldn't consider that to be cheating?

Technically, no.

What's happened to you?

What?

To make you come in and confess now.

You said that you were saving it up until it was,

until it was necessary.

Mattered.

Until it mattered, I said.

It always mattered.

What changed?

I have a daughter I don't speak to.

That's a sin.

Why don't you speak to her?

It's a long story.

I need to know.

You're not my therapist, Father.

I don't need you to deconstruct my relationship

with my daughter, or to fix it.

Not talking to your daughter is only a sin

if it's done with malice.

There may very well be mitigating circumstances.

Maybe she hurt you.

Maybe she takes advantage of you,

or she threatens you.

She's willful and cruel.

She's always raging on about something.

She used to be an addict,

I know this.

I was enabling her with money.

That's what Al anon said,

that I had to stop enabling her with money.

This was the only way I could do it.

I can't say no when I see her.

When I see her face.

So, I don't see her.

Well see, that's a mitigating circumstance.

So, not a sin?

I'm not sure that it is.

Well I'd rather err on the side of a few extra Hail Marys.

Fair enough.

This is so different than when I was a girl.

The priests were so intimidating.

I can be intimidating.

[Bookie] Oh, I'm sure.

Well, I'm working on it.

Why would you do this?

You seem an unlikely priest.

You don't seem dogmatic or sure.

You're not even certain.

I seem to know more about what's a sin than you do.

You have certainly committed more of them.

Well, I've had a lot more time.

I've done all the seven deadly sins.

You're gonna need to be more specific than that.

All right.

The divorce, I ...

I was greedy.

I wanted the apartment and the money.

I was wrathful toward my mother.

Avoiding her and then belittling her when I did see her.

I was envious of my sister's marriage.

So much so that I caused it problems.

Gluttony well,

not so bad,

but I'm always next to the cheese plate in a party photo.

Well, maybe the way that you approached your divorce

was wrath,

and those cheese plate photos are vanity.

Everybody looks better next to a plate of cheese.

[laughing]

You remind me of my son.

Such an appreciation for the absurd.

I can see where he gets it.

Do you believe in all this?

Heaven, Hell, Purgatory,

Sacraments?

I believe in the soul.

I do,

I believe in God's kingdom, yes.

It was a third trimester abortion.

Either the baby was going to die,

or we both were.

I named him Gus.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

It's a terrible loss.

Terrible sin, is what you're supposed to say.

That's what they said at the time.

Is this the reason that you left the Church?

The Church,

my marriage,

my family, most of them.

The Church said it would be better for me to die,

than to kill my child.

In so many words?

In a lot of words.

That's what they meant.

As if any living creature would just let itself die,

just let itself die when the cure for it's illness

was readily apparent,

and on an outpatient basis.

That's what Christ did.

Look I'm not saying,

that it's what you should've done,

but Christ, he allowed himself to die.

That's a basic tenet of the faith.

If, if there were complicated discussions regarding the

ethics of your situation--

Christ did not let himself die,

he was killed by other people.

So that others might have God.

Well my ruptured fallopian tube was not going to give

anybody God.

You felt judged.

I was judged.

There was nothing else you could do.

[sighs]

I never felt so worthless.

I thought, this is what I'm worth to my Church,

to my priest.

Do nothing.

Leave it to God.

Die.

Worthless.

It was a different time.

People understood less.

The science was much--

Well, you're very nice but, this was--

Did they excommunicate you?

No.

Well that would've been the standard.

Anybody choosing an abortion,

they would have been excommunicated,

and only absolved by the Bishop.

I didn't know that.

Maybe,

he was more sympathetic than you thought.

Maybe he was.

I excommunicated myself.

You are always welcome here.

At the rate we're going,

I'm going to have to come back 10 times,

just to get through all my sins.

If you're lucky.

I have nothing better to do.

I feel better, you know?

Talking to you.

Well, we've gotten this far,

shall we do it?

Absolve me.

Maybe since you've saved it all up for so long,

why don't we save the absolution,

until you tell me everything?

I'm on a schedule here, Father.

I want to make sure I get credit.

What schedule?

It's not precise.

They must've given you an idea.

A prognosis?

You told me that you were gonna save it all up

until it mattered.

I really can't think of anything that that would mean,

except that you're,

you're gonna die.

You want absolution before it happens.

Not long.

Weeks,

months.

What is it?

The thing that's killing me is not a sin this time.

There is no sin I can commit to save myself,

or I would, believe me.

God, Father of Mercies.

Through the death and the resurrection of your son,

Jesus Christ, you have reconciled yourself to the world.

You have sent the Holy Spirit among us

for the forgiveness of sins.

Through the ministry of the Church,

may the Lord grant you pardon and peace,

and I absolve you of your sins.

In the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit,

Amen.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

That's it?

No penance?

Your penance?

Just to come back and finish and tell.

We just touched the tip of the proverbial sin iceberg

with you.

You got some good highlights.

Hm.

I did.

Look, I feel that I could

probably be doing a little bit more here to help you.

Do you want help?

We've got lots of volunteers.

They can come and cook and clean.

They'd talk to your family--

Oh no no.

I don't want them to know I even came here.

Is your relationship with Christ an illicit one?

More or less.

I look forward to seeing you again.

If I can.

You can.

Good afternoon, Father.

God be with you.

You remember the response?

I do.

Were you waiting to make a confession?

You don't recognize me, do you?

Your voice is the same.

You look good.

Just so we're clear though,

I am taken now.

Married to Christ.

That's just nuns.

Visiting with your cousin?

Titty bella ...

Titabelle.

It's Titabelle.

I didn't know if she still lived around here,

I haven't seen her.

Yeah well, none of my family ever came back to Church,

after what I did.

They should.

They don't like you.

Actually, I came to see you,

not Titabelle.

I need to show you something.

I have a daughter.

Hm.

She's beautiful.

She looks like you.

Did you lie to me?

I knew you didn't love me,

but at least I loved you enough to not ruin your life.

You call this not ruining my life?

When I was new here,

just arrived,

I was very different.

Nobody saw me as the girl that I felt like on the inside,

but you came around.

You were handsome and kind and caring.

Of course I'd fall in love with you.

I was lonely.

You lied to me.

Yes.

I prayed.

I prayed every single day,

and every night for that life,

that soul that you terminated.

11 years.

I've been doing penance for a mistake for 11 years.

It was my sin.

I didn't even commit that sin.

My only sin was lying to you.

No, your only sin was not lying.

You deprived your child of a father.

Took away my chance at being happy.

I gave you your chance to be happy.

You know, I thought about trapping you.

Marrying you.

You were just the sort of boy to do it,

just to be nice.

So?

Why didn't you?

Because I deserve more than nice.

I wanted to try,

but you got accepted into the seminary,

and you seemed pretty convinced.

I was gonna have the abortion,

but when,

when I got to my uncle's place,

I knew I wouldn't do it.

You should've told me.

No.

You were pretty content to never see me again.

Honestly, if she weren't asking about you every damn day,

I'd be content to never see you again either.

But here we are.

What were you hoping for?

What were you hoping that I was gonna be able to do?

She lacks a father.

I thought maybe you could be her priest.

At least then she could still call you Father.

[horror movie playing on TV]

[footsteps walking]

[suspenseful music]

[light music]

[Voiceover] Next time on Forgive Me.

Coming in here, I thought I would feel condemned.

This is where you come to get uncondemned.

You shouldn't even be having sex.

How do you think I got to be your grandmother?

You got some girl knocked up,

that you didn't even know well enough to know that

she was knocked up.

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