Original subtitles

It was a storybook ceremony today inside Westminster Abbey,

where the future king of England, Prince Philip, Duke of Cambridge,

married his childhood sweetheart, Lady Martha Fitzroy.

Thousands came to cheer the couple and to cheer the prince's younger brother,

Prince Henry, known affectionately as "Prince of England's Hearts,"

and their younger sister, Princess Beatrice,

whom all the world adores.

The wedding reception boasts a who's who of international guests,

including Alex Claremont-Diaz,

the charismatic son of the American president.

Also representing the U.S. is Nora Holleran,

the vice president's granddaughter.

She's talking about us.

Mr. Claremont-Diaz is often referred to as "the American Prince Henry."

Hey. Here's an idea.

How about we skip the party tonight and go do touristy things instead?

No. Are you crazy?

I want to see Buckingham Palace, don't you?

Mm.

Okay, you've been yucking my yum all day.

What's going on with you?

It's... it's the whole Prince Henry comparison thing.

Mm.

He's spent his entire life attending fancy events like this.

He was trained for this.

I feel like if I use the wrong fork at dinner, they're just...

gonna eat me alive.

Just remember, you're handsome and charming and everyone loves you.

It's nice to see you again.

When the revolution happens, it will be because of this wedding.

Oh, shut up, Henry, and get into the spirit of the thing.

- Oh, hello. Hi. - Oh, hello.

The cake alone costs 75,000 pounds.

They practically had to break the doors down to get it inside.

It's obscene.

You're not gonna want to hear this, but that Prince Henry is so yummy.

Nora, no.

- He's such a snob. - I don't know, man.

If I was gonna go for a rich white boy, that is the rich white boy I'd go for.

But he's the worst kind of rich white boy.

So smug and entitled.

He's a prince, Alex. He's literally entitled.

- Oh, you know what is obscene? - Hmm?

Is how attractive the president's son is.

Have you ever met him?

Yes, a few times.

He's very... animated.

He's the world's rudest person.

He's the world's most irritating person.

Also, I swear that he is not six-two.

It's wonderful to see you.

Nice to meet you as well.

- I have heard so much about you. - Oh-oh.

You're sticking with me tonight. Come on. Here we go.

How's it going?

Ooh, I'll take that.

Oh, that's nice.

Henry!

What's up?

Long time no see.

Alex.

Killer wedding, man.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Ah, yeah. Who doesn't love a little Mozart?

Actually, it's Schubert.

Although you got to wonder how many families

you could feed with what this cake cost.

Probably not as many as if we put your shoes on auction.

Rude.

Hello there.

Tell me something, Your Majesty.

Magnificent day.

Yes, Alex?

Uh, did your parents send you to snobbery school

or does looking down on people just come naturally to you?

Well, in your case, I would say it's rather inevitable.

- We are the same height! - If you say so, Alex.

- Great to see you. - You, too, Your Majesty.

Actually, it's "Your Royal Highness." "Your Majesty" is reserved for the king.

Oh, thank you for the etiquette lesson.

You are desperately in need of one.

You know what?

I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Uh...

I can fix this, I can fix this.

That is 100-year-old whisky.

Just-just give me your handkerchief.

I-I got it.

Got it.

It'll be fine.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh!

Oh.

Henry!

♪ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation ♪

♪ You're living in the past, it's a new generation ♪

♪ A girl can do what she wants to do ♪

♪ And that's what I'm gonna do ♪

♪ And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation ♪

- ♪ Oh, no ♪ - ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

- ♪ Not me ♪ - ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ And I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation ♪

♪ Never said I wanted to improve my station ♪

♪ And I'm only doing good when I'm having fun ♪

♪ And I don't have to please no one ♪

♪ And I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation ♪

- ♪ Oh, no ♪ - ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

- ♪ Not me ♪ - ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

- ♪ Oh, no ♪ - ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

- ♪ Not me ♪ - ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation ♪

♪ I never been afraid of any deviation ♪

♪ And I don't really care if you think I'm strange ♪

♪ I ain't gonna change ♪

♪ And I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation ♪

- ♪ Oh, no ♪ - ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪

- ♪ Not me ♪ - ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Oh, no... ♪

Darling, you've done some pretty stupid things in your day, but this...

Takes the cake?

Oh, you hear that, Zahra? He's opening with a joke.

Maybe he can host the Correspondents' Dinner next year.

- Oh, I'd be down. - No.

I sent you to London with some pretty simple instructions:

represent the family at the royal wedding and don't cause an international incident.

Henry shoved me.

An urge I currently share with the prince.

We have spent the last three years negotiating a new trade deal

with His Majesty's government.

Thousands of hours, gallons of tea.

Before this weekend, I had a higher approval rating than the prime minister.

Hell, I was outpolling the Spice Girls.

And overnight, you've managed to undo all that.

Ma, you know by next week, no one will be talking about this anymore.

And really, no reasonable person is gonna even pay attention to that article.

The British people

deserve better from our closest ally than this juvenile stunt.

And it certainly casts a pall over our negotiations.

I'm on the ballot again in 14 months, and I need the farming exports

and the manufacturing jobs that this deal provides to take to Midwest voters.

I'd argue that you don't actually need the Midwest

and there's a path to reelection without the...

You don't want to hear from me today.

What I need from you, sunshine of my heart,

is some good old-fashioned damage control.

Zahra will explain everything.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

I know you are, baby.

That's why I need you to fix it.

- Ah! Zahra! - Asshole! (grunts) Idiot!

What are you... Stop!

You're flying back to London tonight.

What? Why?

To undo all the damage you've done.

The White House and the palace are gonna release a joint statement

explaining that what happened at the wedding was a complete misunderstanding...

Yeah, which it was.

...and despite rarely having time to see one another, you and Prince Henry

are in fact close personal friends and have been

- for the last several years. - Zahra.

This is a fact sheet on Prince Henry. Memorize it.

He's not six-foot-two.

- And does he get a fact sheet on me? - Yes.

And I can assure you that making it

was one of the most depressing moments of my career.

And I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana.

Can I just point out that the royal family are purely figurehead?

They serve no elective role whatsoever.

Oh, unlike you, whose role is clearly spelled out

in Article Nothing of the U.S. Constitution!

- Zahra. - And you are going there to work.

No hookups, no partying.

You can hate Prince Henry all you want, but the minute you see a camera,

you better act like the sun shines out of his ass

and you have a vitamin D deficiency.

- You know... - And there is no getting out of this.

Oh, yeah? What if I set myself on fire?

We'd ship the ashes to Heathrow.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Catherine, Duchess of Edinburgh,

firstborn child of His Majesty, King James III. Ha.

Did you know she started her own climate nonprofit?

That's pretty cool.

Do you want to switch jobs this weekend?

No one in their right mind would ever give you a gun.

Henry's father, go.

Arthur Fox, beloved English stage and film actor.

- Died of cancer three years ago. - I remember that.

- What's the name of Henry's dog? - David.

I mean, really, who names their dog David?

You know I have a shih tzu named Jonathan.

Yeah, I still maintain that's weird.

That's my son you're talking about.

- He is super cute. - He is. You want to see some pictures?

- A hundred percent. - Okay.

♪ Hey, no, no, no, hey, no, no, no ♪

♪ Hey, no, no, no, no. ♪

Mr. Claremont-Diaz, welcome to Kensington Palace.

Shaan Shrivistava, Prince Henry's equerry.

Nice to meet you, Shaan.

Didn't expect to be back in England so soon.

No one is more mystified than I.

So what exactly is an equerry?

Do you, uh, handle the horses or...?

I am His Royal Highness's personal attendant.

- So you're the butler? - I'm not the butler. I'm the equerry.

And back we go to my original question.

- What is an equerry? - Me.

♪ It seems to offer ♪

♪ It's got nothing to do with you... ♪

Here comes His Royal Highness now.

♪ Yeah, up the hill backwards. ♪

You've got to be joking.

Alex. It's good to see you.

Sober.

One of our photographers will now take

some pictures of His Royal Highness welcoming you.

Well, don't I get to shower and change first?

I'm afraid we're on a very tight schedule, sir.

Oh, my God, wouldn't want to screw up the "shedyule."

You must stand to the right of His Royal Highness.

- Is that protocol or just his good side? - Both.

- Shall we do this? - Yes, sir.

They're all yours, Jamie.

Big smiles for the camera, please.

My NDA is bigger than yours. I want you to know that.

You're wearing lifts.

I know that, too, sweetheart.

- Are we finished here? - Yes, Your Royal Highness.

Dick.

Hey, Shaan, you think maybe I could get a little...?

You're fine.

Thank you.

- Thank you, Shaan. - Whenever you're ready.

Quiet, everyone.

Uh, can you two scooch in a little closer together?

Now, you've been mates since you met

at the Melbourne Climate Conference several years back.

Is that correct?

Yes, yes.

Uh, we hit it off instantly.

Yeah. - It's like we'd known each other all our lives.

Right?

Yep.

Wonderful.

So, Alex, what do you think of jolly old England?

I-I really love it here.

I've been a few times since my mom was elected.

I love the people, uh, the beer,

the dogs that, uh, that wear the sweaters.

- Yeah. - Well, actually we say "jumpers."

Alex has very strong opinions, and-and he shares them loudly.

What three words would I use to describe Henry?

White, blond and British.

One thing I most admire about Alex is his willingness to admit when he's wrong.

Wonderful, wonderful trait to have.

You don't know this, but Henry does the best freestyle raps.

- Well... - Come on.

- Do a little for them. - No.

- That's not why... - She wants to hear it.

Remember that one that was just like...

Don't you do an incredible Barbra Streisand impression?

Voice of an angel this one, really.

I love hanging out with this guy.

Now, I have to ask this...

...because it's all anyone is talking about.

How on earth did you end up on the floor...

...in Buckingham Palace...

...covered in cake?

Actually, it happens more often than you'd think in the palace.

In the reign of Queen Victoria, they were having food fights all the time.

Vicky.

Classic.

Hmm.

Do you know who this is?

Well, his mum is the president of the United States.

And my mum is the Duchess of Edinburgh.

Which means that his mum outranks my mum.

What do we think of that?

Do you visit this place a lot?

Every couple months.

Never with photographers, though.

This way! Shots fired!

Stay down.

Ow! Get your hands off me!

- Knee. - Ow!

Okay. You are sitting on my leg.

Are you serious right now?

- Santal 33. - Yeah?

- Makes sense. - What do you mean by that?

- It means you got good taste, Alex. - Thanks.

And why do you dislike me?

Climate Conference in Melbourne. First night party.

I went to introduce myself to you, and you looked at me like I had head lice.

Then you turned to your equerry and said, "Get me out of here."

I didn't realize you'd heard that.

So you do admit that's a douchey thing to say.

I could have been nicer.

All right, what else?

It couldn't have just been the conference.

Oh, my God, it is.

It is, isn't it?

- Don't minimize it. - Uh, uh, how could I possibly?

It's already as minimal as it gets.

Are you, are you seriously telling me that one meeting, years ago,

in which, yes, I admittedly acted ungenerously towards you,

h-has occupied such a vast mental and emotional space in your head?

Okay, sure, when you put it like that.

But it was my first foray into the world as a public figure,

and I was really scared, and you could've helped me and you didn't.

You're right.

I'm sorry I was a prick to you. I...

It's no excuse, but I was a prick to everyone in those days.

My father had died a few months before,

and the palace insisted on parading me around.

For the record...

I-I didn't say, "Get me out of here."

I said, "I need to get out of here," which is a different thing entirely.

Oh.

Well, now I feel like I need to apologize.

Threat neutralized.

Some kid brought fireworks for his friend.

When you say "neutralized..."

It's good he's already in the hospital.

Okay.

And then they became friends.

Well, we survived it.

That means we never have to see each other again.

Wrong. You're expected at my New Year's party.

No, I hate New Year's.

Wow. Most people would kill to get an invite to my party.

That's perfect. Then kill me and I won't have to go.

Some photos, Your Royal Highness? Mr. Claremont-Diaz?

I think we're supposed to shake hands now.

I know, I know. Stand to your right.

Alex?

Okay, thank you very much.

Well, I need to get out of here.

See you in a few months, Your Majesty.

Later, Shaan.

But I think it's telling that, in it, no matter how silly

the so-called cake-gate controversy may be, and it is very silly,

you can already see the potential outlines

of what President Claremont's campaign could be about next year, right?

And in so far as it concerns the president's trade deal with Great Britain,

well, the first son's charm offensive this week

has helped his mother's campaign.

Hey, Dad. - Hey, mijo.

I watched your committee hearing on the flight home.

Yeah, you and three other people.

You should be tougher on those agribusiness mofos.

Well, maybe I can get you to push them in a cake for me.

What's your beef with him anyway?

I mean, he seems like a nice enough guy.

Oh, come on, Dad.

He's elite and privileged and lives in a palace.

What? What's that?

I'm just brushing that working-class chip off your shoulder.

Hey, you and mom taught me to question authority.

Mm.

Meanwhile, you're now elite and privileged and live in a palace.

And your mom is the epitome of authority.

It's funny how life works.

Although, speaking of your mom's authority, don't tell her I was smoking.

- Have a nice day. - Thanks. You, too.

Alex.

Hey, Miguel. What's up?

ACD, slumming it in Shaw.

Got a minute?

Yeah, I could hang.

Nice damage control this weekend.

I had no idea you and the prince were such good friends.

Yeah, well, neither did I.

Hey, you mind if I put my journalist hat on for a sec?

Only if you actually have one of those journalist hats

like they do in the old movies.

Promise I'll wear it for you sometime.

Is your mother's campaign nervous

the Republicans are gonna nominate Richards?

The only Republican who makes us nervous is Abraham Lincoln,

and I doubt he's running.

You see? This is why I ask you these things:

because you give me quotes like that.

- You have to let me use it. - Not a chance, Miguel.

You are such a tease.

How about "sources close to the president"?

I'm gonna pass.

Bueno, lo intenté.

We should hang out again sometime.

Off the record, of course.

It's been a while.

Yeah, well...

school's been crazy lately.

Yeah, you're always running at full speed.

That's what makes you so charming.

That and your eyelashes.

I should get going.

- Qué bueno verte, Miguel. - Lo mismo, Alex.

What?

Sorry.

I hate the tie you're wearing in Vogue.

It's so boring. What do you have against color anyway?

Gray is a color, thank you.

I just received a parcel of your mum's old campaign T-shirts.

Is this your idea of a prank? (chuckles)

The next box is full of thongs.

I first read Zadie Smith as a teenager.

You absolutely have to read Another Country by James Baldwin.

The Picture of Dorian Gray.

And Love in the Time of Cholera.

Also Madame Bovary.

I'm sending you a copy.

That's the thing that people don't understand about Byron's poetry.

H-He was single-handedly responsible for every romance ever written

in the last two centuries.

And that's not even considering his personal life.

I'm blocking you for the rest of the night.

He had London under his spell.

HENRY Good God, man, what have you done?

So, there's this American tradition

where the president pardons a turkey before Thanksgiving.

I don't understand.

Don't you have to commit a crime to be pardoned?

Don't look too closely at it.

I found out that they keep the turkey in a luxury hotel suite

the night before the ceremony.

I mean, can you think of anything more wasteful?

Oh, perhaps this conversation.

Anyway, I convinced my mother's staff to keep it at the White House,

and they put the little asshole in my room.

Don't ask mummy for a pet if you can't take care of it.

Why are you awake?

Because some bellend decided to call me at 3:00 a.m. to talk turkey.

What's a bellend?

Look it up.

I'm also a world-class insomniac.

I'm in bed with my dog watching Bake Off.

It never occurred to me that the royal family watches television.

Well, we all share the same password.

You're more of a human than I thought.

Wow, thank you, Alex.

That is so flattering.

No, I just mean you don't seem like the kind of person

that would name their dog David.

Well, he's named after Bowie.

- Wait, seriously? - Hmm.

That's way cooler. Why not just call him Bowie, then?

It's a bit on the nose, don't you think?

Have I surprised you in any way?

Nope.

You are just as ghastly as I imagined.

- I'm hanging up now. - No, I'm hanging up on you.

Fine.

Have it your way.

That's what the big red button is for.

Good night.

Has anyone on the campaign actually read my Texas strategy memo?

What Texas strategy memo?

I think I have my answer.

Alex, this isn't a really good time. I have a ton of work.

Can you just... Yeah, just make yourself at home, kid.

Okay, here's the deal.

I wrote a 14-page memo detailing how we can win in Texas next year.

I spent weeks working on it.

I think it's a viable plan that you should take seriously.

I emailed it to senior campaign staff three weeks ago, and I've heard nada.

Did anyone ask you to write this memo?

- No, I took the initiative. - Yeah.

If there's one thing people on campaigns hate,

it's when the candidate's family takes initiative.

Zahra, there are good ideas in here.

I really want to help.

You do help.

You are genuinely useful.

Yeah, for, like, photo ops and New Year's parties and stupid shit like that.

But I can be doing so much more.

Will you please read my memo?

Fine.

- Thank you. - Now get the hell out of my office.

Oh, one more thing.

Uh, has your new buddy, the prince, confirmed for your New Year's party?

Zahra, did you not just listen to my entire soliloquy?

Alex, I've got the prime minister coming in town next month for a visit.

You want to help your mother's campaign?

Make sure Prince Henry comes to your party.

People like him more than they like you.

Well, they wouldn't if they knew him. Later!

♪ I like that thing you do ♪

♪ I like that scent you wear ♪

♪ I like your faded jeans ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

Oh, look who it is.

Nice tie. Rocking the orange.

Orange?

You must be color-blind. This is obviously copper.

You are so annoying.

Nora, this is my best mate, Percy Okonjo,

who has been begging me for an introduction since the wedding.

Miss Holleran, you are the most exquisite woman I've ever seen in my life.

I would love to procure for you the most lavish drink in this establishment.

Well, it is an open bar and a free-ish country,

so only the Secret Service can stop you.

I've been drunk since Christmas.

You got to catch up.

- Hey! How are you doing? - Oh! Hey.

- Good. How are you? - Good. Have we met?

Uh, Henry.

- That's Henry. - That's Henry.

Oh, my God, we got to dance. Come on.

- You're not gonna dance? - You go ahead.

All right, be right back.

You don't dance?

The ballroom lessons didn't exactly cover this.

All in the hips.

Loosen up!

Oh, my God!

This is the song of my childhood!

- You're dancing. - Oh...

♪ Three-six-nine, damn, you fine ♪

♪ Hoping she can sock it to me one more time ♪

- ♪ Get low, get low ♪ - ♪ Get low ♪

♪ Get low, get low, get low, get low ♪

♪ To the window ♪

- ♪ To the wall ♪ - ♪ To the wall ♪

- ♪ Till the sweat drop down my balls ♪ - ♪ My balls... ♪

I'm sorry. Did he say, "Till the sweat drops down my balls"?

- Yeah. - ♪ Till all skeet-skeet... ♪

Come on!

- ♪ Till all skeet-skeet, motherfucker ♪ - ♪ Motherfucker ♪

- ♪ Till all skeet-skeet, goddamn ♪ - ♪ Goddamn ♪

- ♪ Let me see you get low ♪ - ♪ You scared, you scared ♪

♪ Drop that ass to the floor ♪

♪ You scared, you scared ♪

- ♪ Let me see you get low ♪ - ♪ You scared, you scared ♪

- ♪ Drop that ass to the floor ♪ - ♪ You scared, you scared ♪

♪ Drop that ass, ay, shake it fast, ay... ♪

♪ Ay, back, back ♪

♪ Back it up, ay, back, back ♪

♪ Back it up, now stop. ♪

Ten seconds to midnight, everyone!

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

♪ You know ♪

♪ Never believe it's not so ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Never believe it's not so ♪

♪ It's magic ♪

♪ You know ♪

♪ Never believe it's not so. ♪

What are you doing out here?

Wanted to get some air.

Did I do something wrong?

Do you ever wonder who you'd be if you were...

an anonymous person in the world?

I was an anonymous, working-class kid for most of my life.

And then my mom became president.

Who would you be?

Be a writer.

Live in Paris.

I'd certainly date more.

Yeah, 'cause it's so hard for a prince to get a date.

People I date don't interest me, and the people who interest me, I can't date.

Oh, my God, Henry, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Christ, you're as thick as it gets.

I'm sorry.

RICHARDS Under Ellen Claremont,

we're now losing two manufacturing jobs every single minute of every day.

By the time this debate finishes, another 200 Americans will be out of work.

You know, I just wish some of my colleagues in this race

would go out on the road with me to see what's happening in our Midwestern towns.

Empty factories, hollowed-out storefronts,

- communities in despair.

I'm ready to lead from day one,

and that's why I can deliver on my plan and bring prosperity!

Prosperity!

Hey, Nora?

Hey. What's up?

Got a minute?

Okay, what's going on?

So...

- funny thing happened on New Year's Eve. - Mm.

Henry kinda kissed me.

I totally, privately called that.

- Oh, shut up, Nora. You did not. - Hey, it's my job

to analyze data, and he has never once checked me out,

and I am what some men would consider exquisite.

So from where I'm sitting, Henry's...

Kinda gay?

More like the first 50 rows of a Gaga concert kinda gay.

But he's always dating a different girl.

Oh, honey, princes aren't allowed to be gay.

You should know that.

Did I forget your birthday?

Not yet.

Do you remember Henry's friend Percy?

Are you into him?

I'm not not into him.

Right now I'm more into getting female-identifying candidates

elected to Congress, but he does have good taste in florists.

Anyway, okay, uh, tell me more about this kiss.

Did you like it?

He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand

the difference between rugby and football.

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

I mean, it wasn't unpleasant,

just... surprising.

I mean, you've been wanting him to dick you down forever.

What? Wrong!

No, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

Allow me to, um, lay out some observations for you.

Extrapolate as you wish.

First, you've been, like, completely obsessed with Henry for years.

- I've not been... - Do not interrupt me.

You've been long-distance text flirting with him all day, every day, for months.

- Uh... - You spent the entire New Year's party

straight-up ignoring the who's who of hot young women

in order to talk to Henry.

And, uh, he kissed you, and you liked it.

So...

objectively, what do you think that means?

I don't know.

Come on!

I don't know! I don't know!

Okay, look, I can wrap my head around being low-level into guys,

but what I'm really confused about is being into Henry.

How many guys have you been with?

Whoa.

Uh...

Two.

Once in high school and once with Miguel Ramos.

The Politico reporter?!

Shut up!

Didn't see that coming.

What was that story there?

We once made out on the campaign,

drunk, fully naked, in a hot tub.

I get the feeling he wants me back in that hot tub, but, you know, he's a journalist.

Right. Yeah. Closeted princes are much safer.

Um, okay, well, do you two have any appearances coming up?

He's supposed to be my guest to the prime minister's dinner next month.

He can't ignore me all night.

Can he?

I guess you'll find out.

Julia?

Nora, come on.

Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States

and the prime minister of the United Kingdom.

Madam President.

Alex.

Perfect.

Madam President.

Alex.

- Nice tux. Qué guapo. - Hey, Miguel.

Thanks. You, too.

I read your Texas campaign memo.

How? That was super confidential.

I'm a journalist, Alex.

I quite literally have my sources.

Anyway, I-I think you've got some good ideas.

Thanks, Miguel.

Prince Henry, over here.

The campaign putting your memo into action?

Because they should.

Is this the year the Democrats finally flip Texas?

Earth to Alex.

Yeah, we're, uh, gonna flip Texas.

Good to see you, Miguel.

- I need your help. - Where's the threat?

- Do we need to clear the room? - What?

No. I just need to talk to Henry.

In private.

Best I can do is the Red Room.

You take him any further and his security team will taser you.

Look...

I know I owe you an explanation.

- My behavior was appalling. - Shut up. Stop talking.

Wait a minute.

All right, fellas, time's up. We got to get back to...

Oh, God.

So are you still...?

Like Stonehenge.

Your Royal Hardness.

Or Big Ben.

Nelson's Column.

There you are. - Hi, Ma.

Prime Minister, this is my son, Alex.

It's good to see you and His Royal Highness on better terms

and not on the floor.

Yes, Prime Minister.

Henry and I are much happier against walls.

Everything all right?

Yes. Uh, very excited to be here.

Well, hopefully we'll get through tonight without any more scandals from these two.

The night is young, Ma.

Please, Prime Minister.

- Okay, here's what we're gonna do. - Yes, tell me.

You're gonna stay at least 500 feet away from me for the rest of the night.

- Sensible plan. - I'm not done.

- Of course you're not. - Then at midnight,

you're gonna come to my room on the second floor of the residence

where I'm going to do some very bad things to you.

You're late.

To be clear, this changes nothing between us.

- I was about to say the same thing. - No, you weren't. That's impossible.

When did you start to...

- Fancy you? - Yeah.

Melbourne Climate Conference. First night party.

Wow, you had a lot going on that night.

Tell me about it.

- I really thought you hated me. - I hated how good you looked.

What's that?

A key to my family's house in Austin.

I started wearing it when we moved here.

Hmm.

You know, I don't...

think I've ever owned a key in my entire life.

No such thing as a locked door when you're a prince, I suppose.

Well, you'd be surprised.

Just to put it out there...

Yes?

I guess you could say I'm...

...bisexual.

Yeah.

Noted.

Ah.

Just to put it out there,

I am...

as gay as a maypole.

What?

- I have no idea what a maypole is. - Maypole. Right.

Are they known for their homosexual tendencies?

Oh, oh, God, yes.

- Notorious. - Yeah.

Notorious for it.

I wouldn't mind doing this again.

Me neither.

We just have to keep it very casual, of course.

Oh. Obviously.

The press and all.

I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me.

- Oh. - Okay, wait a minute.

- No, that's not what I meant when I... - Get over yourself, Your Majesty.

It's "Your Royal Highness."

I don't know how many times I have to tell you that.

I should probably get going.

- I guess I'll see you... - You know, I was thinking...

- No, you can... After you. - You should...

Please, you first.

There's this charity polo match in Windsor next month

that my mate Percy's foundation organizes.

I, uh...

I was wondering if you might want to be my guest.

Oh.

Um...

I don't know how to play polo.

Damn.

Well, I suppose that will be all right, seeing as you won't be playing.

I will.

You'll be watching on the sidelines.

Great.

That's probably safer for everyone.

Yeah, agreed.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, I could eat.

There's something I've been dying to ask you.

Which other famous boys have I shagged?

There's two things I've been dying to ask you.

All right, let's start with the first.

Do you have a last name?

Actually, I have several.

The official family name is Hanover-Stuart.

My father's surname was Fox.

So my full name is Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox.

And I thought Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz was a mouthful.

He is.

Does anyone in your family know about you?

My sister Bea's the only one I've told.

My mum probably suspects.

My brother Philip is completely oblivious.

And what about His Majesty, the king?

Grandpa's a cold, hard realist.

He sat me down on my 18th birthday and told me

not to let any selfish desires I might be harboring reflect poorly on the crown.

That is some bullshit.

It's my life.

Doesn't mean you have to accept it.

I was four years old when I realized

that everyone in my country knew my name, but...

I would never know theirs.

Prince Henry belongs to Britain.

Henry Fox has to belong to himself or else...

...he'll vanish.

Can't he ever belong to someone else?

Only momentarily.

Not here.

I think we should make love tonight.

Oh.

I-I mean, yeah.

I'm down.

But, I mean, who says "make love" anymore?

Are we gonna, like, listen to Lana Del Rey when we do it?

All right, all right.

It's just...

Who's gonna do what?

Because I'm...

I've never...

Oh, my God.

I'm so not playing this cool right now.

I went to an English boarding school, dear.

Trust me, you're in good hands.

Now, careful. Oh.

- The buttons are quite sturdy. - Mm.

Rigid.

I can't believe how wrong I was about you.

Most people are.

Is there any part of you that...

wishes you weren't the son of the president?

Or that your family wasn't in politics?

I actually wish I could help more.

It's gonna be a tough campaign.

You really do love it, don't you?

Yeah, I really do.

To devote your life to helping others?

To know that what you do has a meaningful impact on people's lives?

I know it's my life's work.

Is there any part of you that...

doubts?

My father was 12 when my abuela brought him and his sister over from Mexico.

You may not understand this, but in America,

if you're an immigrant with a "Z" in your last name,

there's not a lot of people in positions of power that look like you

or sound like you.

I've been given a chance to be someone in the world

that my father didn't see when he was growing up.

You can't know what that means.

I'm learning.

Did you tell Miguel Ramos

that we had a plan to flip Texas?

What? No!

16 tweets today, all linking to his new article.

He really tweets too much.

"Mr. Claremont-Diaz, a student at Georgetown Law,

is playing an active role in the campaign's new Texas strategy."

I was unaware my campaign had a new Texas strategy.

Can you please tell me what it is?

If your campaign had read my memo, you'd know.

All I said to Miguel is that Texas is competitive and we intend to win it.

I didn't think he'd write an article about it.

Well, he has, so now we have to explain to everyone

that we don't in fact have a new Texas strategy.

You do have a Texas strategy. You just won't implement it.

Why aren't you registering a million new voters?

Why aren't you firing up the youth vote, building a grassroots movement?

Why aren't you fighting for your home state, Ma?

I am fighting for my administration

and for the people who can't afford to have Jeffrey Richards become president.

And I will not be the first woman to lose reelection to this office.

What is that?

Our latest internal polling.

Richards is killing me in the Rust Belt.

That's where we need to focus, not Texas.

You're being idealistic when I need you to be realistic.

Is that why you got into politics?

To be realistic?

Do you think that's what the people really need right now?

I do not need a lecture from you about idealism.

I was 28 when I was elected to the state legislature.

I had 150,000 constituents.

Now I have 330 million.

They need me to be realistic so they can be idealistic.

If you don't understand that,

then you have a lot to learn about politics, kiddo.

You are no longer allowed to speak to the press.

Do you understand me?

Yes, Madam President.

Twenty-seven.

What?

You were 27, not 28, when you won your first election.

Ask any of the women who work for you.

They'll be able to tell you that.

Madam President. Do you need me for something?

What's the deal with this campaign memo?

Oh, I remember that.

What's all that?

My first Texas campaign. Your grandmother saved everything.

Every press clipping, every button, every flyer.

I read your memo.

Good work.

We're sending you to Texas.

Really?

You'll have a shoestring budget.

You'll eat fast food for every meal.

You'll work 18-hour days, and you'll love every minute of it.

So what do you say?

When do I start?

Dear Henry:

Greetings from the Lone Star State.

It's hard to put into words how exciting it is to be back here

working to get my mom reelected.

The energy here is electric, and I think we can make a real difference.

The only thing that would make it even better is if you were here.

Dear Alex: I can't think of a single way to start this email

except to say, "You're incredible."

But should I also tell you that when we're apart,

your body comes back to me in my dreams?

I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache.

Henry, seriously.

I'm out here giving my all for my mother.

I can't have smut filling my inbox,

corrupting my mind and bulging my pants like this.

Look, buddy, you know I am incorrigible,

so don't "incorrige" me.

I'll behave.

By the way, we call them "trousers," not "pants," dear.

But in this case, both seem to apply.

Also, from all the photos you're posting, it really makes me want to visit.

Yes! I was just thinking that I want you to come and see it one day.

Ah, there's so much that I want to show you.

I think you'd really like Austin most especially.

I want to see your mouth covered in barbecue sauce,

and then I want to lick it off.

Wait, don't they have napkins in Texas?

I wish I could, but my duties keep me here.

Dear Alex...

It's becoming increasingly difficult attending mindless ribbon cuttings

while you're out there changing the world.

I'll be damned, Alex, but I miss you. Dear Henry: I miss you, too.

Dear Henry... Alex...

I'll admit this to you and no one else.

For all my big talk and certainty,

I'm secretly afraid I'm going to let my mother down.

Alex, I understand what you're saying,

and I believe what you're describing is called "impostor syndrome."

But I know that you are not an impostor.

We just hit a million voters!

I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Sense and Sensibility.

"It isn't what we say or think that defines us

but what we do."

And I think that what you're doing is amazing.

We're going live to the Democratic National Convention

in Brooklyn, New York,

where Alex Claremont-Diaz is addressing the crowd.

Let's listen in.

My mom has inspired me every day of my life.

She has passed down to me a faith in America that always looks to the future,

not back at the past.

Her vision for America has you at the center.

- Your hopes, your values, your future.

CROWD Four more years! Four more years!

Bien hecho, cabrón.

- Great speech. - Hey, Miguel.

- You looked really good up there. - Thanks.

You know, we're both staying at this hotel tonight.

Tell me something.

Do you honestly believe that we're ever hooking up again?

Well, I don't anymore.

Is there a problem between us, Alex?

Yeah.

The problem is you sandbagging me and my mother's campaign

on your little wannabe Washington Post website,

- claiming we had a plan to flip Texas. - Which you do and have enacted

and confirmed as much when we spoke about it on the record.

Well, the only thing I'm confirming tonight is that you're an asshole.

Feel free to use that quote.

Buenas noches, cabrón.

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, just a bit of skullduggery.

Amy helped plan it.

We need to get up to my room right now.

Have you ever cooked for yourself?

- Once, unsuccessfully. - Mm.

Have you ever been on Grindr?

Mm. Do you vote?

Mm-mm. Not allowed.

- What? That's insane. - Yeah.

Them's the rules.

Mm. What's your favorite movie?

Oh, In the Mood for Love.

I never seen it.

God, sometimes I forget how uncultured you Americans are.

It is only the swooniest movie of all time.

- "Swooniest"? Is that even a word? - Yes, of course it is.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

The day my dad died.

Alex Claremont-Diaz, it's almost 7:00.

You have interviews to do. Let's get going.

Wake up. Shit, shit, shit.

What's going on?

Come on.

- Let's get your mother reelected. - Oh, shit.

Is there someone in there?

Be right with you, Zahra!

That's it.

I... am coming in.

- Hey! Do you mind? - Oh!

- Come on! Zahra! - Put clothes on now.

Zahra!

What are you doing?

- Where is she? - Zahra, no one is here.

Oh, really?

Well, that "no one" left her phone in here.

Okay, so she left her phone in here.

- Big deal. It's all chill, Zahra. - Oh.

Where is she?

- Hello, hello? - What are you doing?

- Little missy? - Zahra, please. It's all chill.

It's all chill?

You hook up with some rando

the night before your mother's acceptance speech.

You don't have her sign an NDA, of that I'm certain,

and then you let her bring her phone in here,

transmitting God knows what to God knows who.

- Trust me, she's not gonna do any of that. - Yeah, Alex, yeah. That is really chill.

Ow.

Shit.

Good morning.

Zahra, breathe.

Don't you tell me what to do.

- Do you want to sit? - Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Wh-Where do you want to go?

Here?

- Yeah. - Oh, there? Okay.

- Yeah. Fine, fine. I'm fine! - Oh. Okay.

How long has this been going on?

- Since New Year's. - Oh, God.

And who knows about this?

Literally no one but you.

And the Secret Service.

And Percy. - Right, and Nora.

Oh, and I told my sister.

- Aw, I didn't know that. - Yeah, she was really happy for us.

Oh, I can't wait to see her again. She's really...

Okay. Shut up, okay? The both of you.

I need to think.

Please don't tell my mom.

Seriously?

Alex, we are in a hotel crawling with reporters,

in a city filled with cameras,

on the precipice of the biggest event of the campaign,

in a race so close it could be arrested for assault,

and you're asking me not to tell your mommy on you?

Well, I haven't told her yet.

Oh, gee, kid, I'm sorry to interrupt your process of becoming,

but you're the one who decided to put your dick

into the heir to the British throne.

Well, technically, I'm the spare.

Not talking to you, sir.

Okay.

Would it make any difference if I told you not to see him again?

No.

Every time I see you, it takes another year off of my life.

All right.

I'm going downstairs, and...

you better be dressed and in the lobby in five minutes

so we can get your mother reelected.

- I'll be there. - And as for you, Little Lord Fuckleroy,

you get your ass back to merry old England right now.

I want you chewing on a goddamn crumpet by sunset.

And if anyone sees you leave this hotel, I will Brexit your head from your body.

- You got me? - Loud and clear.

Your Royal Highness.

Unbelievable. They don't pay me enough for this shit.

Yeah, come in.

Hmm. Hey.

Do you have a few minutes?

Sure, darling.

What's up?

You look very serious.

Yeah.

I've been, um, figuring some things out about myself lately,

and it's, um...

relevant to the campaign, in a way.

Okay.

I've met someone.

Is that all?

Honey, that's great.

I mean, why would that be relevant to the campaign?

She's not a Republican, is she?

No.

She's also a he.

And "he" happens to be Henry.

As in the prince of England?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm...

We're gonna need some pizza.

So are you, are you gay? Bi? Fluid? Pan? Queer?

Cool it, Mom. I'm bi.

Oh, all right.

Well, you know, the "B" in "LGBTQ" is not a silent letter.

- Yes, thank you, Mom. - Mm.

I mean, if I'd had more warning, I could have made you a PowerPoint presentation,

but...

Can I give you some advice?

Yeah, of course.

You need to figure out if you feel forever about him

before you take this any further.

A relationship like this will define your life.

I don't know if we're there yet, Mom.

I don't know if we ever will be.

One more thing.

Uh, we didn't go over this particular type of partnering when we had the talk,

which is on me for making assumptions.

Okay.

I just want to make sure you know

you need to wear a condom if you're having anal intercourse.

Oh, my God.

And we can, we can talk about getting you on Truvada.

And-and if you're bottoming, then you need the HPV vaccine.

And I can have HHS send over some brochures.

You are ridiculous.

I cannot believe they give you the nuclear codes.

And you have to tell your father.

- Ugh. - Hmm?

I don't know.

This is uncharted territory for us.

When you're a parent, every day is uncharted territory.

And when your child is Alex Claremont-Diaz,

you get used to the exceptional.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Dear Henry:

Well, I just came out to my mom.

I was never afraid of her rejection.

I was afraid that she would see me differently than before.

But now I realize that's exactly the point.

Anyway, my parents bought a vacation house after my mother's book was published.

I'm headed there to chill over Labor Day weekend with my dad and Nora.

My dad suggested that I invite you.

Do you want to come? Please say yes.

P.S., Nora says to bring Percy.

Hey!

Watch out! Here comes British Invasion!

Oh, we found them hitchhiking in Austin.

Goodness, this is beautiful. - OSCAR: Hey, welcome to La Casa Blanca Oeste.

Dad, what is this music?

It's so not the vibe.

- It's great to see you again, sir. - What's with the "sir"?

Please, call me "Congressman."

Oh, well, in that case, you can call me "Your Royal Highness."

Who's ready to party?

This is what we should be listening to.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes!

Ready? Ready?

Wait till he finds out about the karaoke machine.

No, no, I am definitely not doing karaoke.

♪ I'm burning through the sky, yeah ♪

♪ 200 degrees, that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit ♪

♪ I'm traveling at the speed of light ♪

♪ I wanna make a supersonic man out of you ♪

♪ Don't stop me now ♪

♪ Oh, I'm having such a good time ♪

♪ I'm having a ball. ♪

Lazarus wakes.

Need help?

Not as bad as you do.

Coffee's fresh.

Henry's still sleeping?

He did karaoke last night.

Plus half a dozen tequila shots.

Oof.

I got to be honest: I thought because he was a prince

that, uh, he'd be a little more of a candy ass.

Yeah, he's tougher than he looks.

So you like him?

What's not to like?

I wasn't sure if you needed to have, like, a Catholic moment about it or...

Please. Have a little more faith in your old man.

You are, after all, talking to the patron saint

of gender-neutral bathrooms in Austin, you little shit.

You know, uh...

your mom and I were a stupid idea, too.

We were just babies when we had you.

Nobody thought we'd make it.

Look at us now.

Sometimes you just got to jump, hope you're not standing on a cliff.

- Shower time! - No.

God, you are such a cretin.

No, get off.

- I've been thinking. - I seriously doubt that.

"I seriously doubt that."

I've been thinking about

how my life is gonna be a lot different after the election.

Hmm. How so?

Well...

my mom will hopefully be in office again,

and we won't have to worry about winning any more national elections.

And I'll have a lot more freedom.

Until it's my turn to run for office, of course.

Of course.

And I thought

maybe next summer we could come back here

for, like, a couple weeks.

We can be naked

and have sex anywhere on the property we want.

We can walk through Austin holding hands,

and it won't even matter if anyone sees us.

I can take you around to all the places I grew up,

and you can get to understand my life a little more.

I've never felt this way about anyone.

It's like there's a rope attached to my chest

and it keeps pulling me towards you.

And it feels so right.

What I mean to say is, Henry...

I...

Henry?

♪ If I loved you ♪

♪ Time and again ♪

♪ I would try to say ♪

♪ All I'd want you ♪

♪ To know ♪

- ♪ If I loved you... ♪ - Hello, David.

Hi.

It's so good to see you.

What happened in Texas?

I ended things with Alex.

Oh, Hen.

I'm so sorry.

Did grandpa find out?

Not this time, but I felt myself getting too close,

and I didn't want to break his heart.

What about your heart?

Have you thought about calling Mum?

Last I heard from Mum, she was off saving elephants in Botswana.

Perhaps I ought to grow some tusks.

God, she better not abdicate.

Or find herself at the top of a staircase with Philip around.

It's all so silly, isn't it?

The idea of royalty in the 21st century, it's-it's so... antiquated.

Sometimes...

I wonder if what we do has any meaningful impact on people's lives.

Well, cheer up.

At least you'll never be king.

Do you love him?

What difference would it make if I did?

♪ Longing to tell you ♪

♪ But afraid and shy ♪

♪ I let my golden chances ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Soon, you'd leave me ♪

♪ Off you would go ♪

♪ In the mist of day... ♪

♪ Never, never... ♪

He won't answer any of my texts or take any of my calls.

Has Percy heard from him?

Percy said that Henry sometimes goes into his cocoon phases

and the only thing to do is just wait it out.

I can't wait it out.

I'm going crazy here.

Well, you have air miles.

Go to London.

Get your man.

What if he won't see me?

At least you'll have your answer.

Yes?

Sir, Mr. Claremont-Diaz is at the gate.

He insists on seeing you.

Can we please talk?

I'm going to let you say what you need to say, and then I'd like you to leave.

What's going on, Henry?

A week ago, we were happy, and then you disappear without saying a word?

I think you at least owe me an explanation.

I have done nothing but explain myself to you this past year.

I don't know what more you want me to say,

and I don't appreciate you barging in here in the middle of the night.

Well, I'm sorry I can't turn my feelings off as easily as you.

D-Do you honestly think this is easy for me?

What else am I supposed to think?

You won't talk to me.

All I know is I'm the one here willing to fight for us.

Because it costs you nothing!

I've been losing my mind this week

because the man I love has vanished from my life without an explanation.

I flew across an ocean.

I...

I stormed a fucking castle to look you in the eye

and tell you that I love you, knowing that you wouldn't say it back.

So, no, Henry, in fact, this is costing me everything.

And if this is over, I at least deserve to know why.

Oh, for Christ's sake, Alex!

For once, I wish you could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be.

Sometimes I don't think you know me at all.

I'm not like you.

I can't afford to be reckless.

I wasn't raised by a loving, supportive family like you were.

I have centuries of history bearing down on my shoulders.

My life is the crown and yours is politics,

and I will not trade one prison for another.

I can love you

and want you and...

and still not want that life.

I'm allowed.

All right?

And it doesn't make me a liar.

It makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self-preservation,

and you don't get to come in here and call me a coward for it.

I would never call you a coward.

We can figure out a way to love each other on our own terms, no one else's.

That is simply not possible, and you know it.

Fine.

I'll leave.

And you can live in your tower and protect your heart for the rest of your life,

and nothing will ever happen to you.

But, Henry...

nothing will ever happen to you.

So if you want me to go, you have to tell me to leave.

Please... don't make me.

It is the only way you're getting rid of me.

Because I would never leave this room if I didn't think there was any hope

of holding on to the happiness that I have found with you.

And if you think otherwise, then you don't know me.

So tell me to go, Henry,

and I promise I will walk out that door and trouble you no longer.

Wait.

There's something I want you to see.

When I was a boy...

...my father used to bring me here.

Early in the morning before the museum opened.

Now I like to come at night.

In here,

at night,

no one else is around to gawk at you

or try and take your picture.

You can slip between the statues like a shadow.

When I was younger,

I would dream of

taking somebody I loved here.

And he'd love it as much as I did.

And we'd dance right here amidst all these statues.

Just a daft pubescent fantasy.

♪ Wise men say ♪

♪ Only fools rush in ♪

♪ But I can't help ♪

♪ Falling in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Shall I stay? ♪

♪ Would it be a sin? ♪

♪ If I can't help ♪

♪ Falling in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Take my hand ♪

♪ Take my whole life... ♪

Please be patient with me,

and I promise I will try and be brave for us.

Because when they write the history of my life...

I want it to include you...

...and my love for you.

♪ For I can't ♪

History, huh?

♪ Help ♪

♪ Falling in love ♪

Bet we could make some.

♪ With you ♪

♪ For I can't help ♪

♪ Falling in love ♪

♪ With you. ♪

I want you to have some part of me...

...until you can have all of me again.

Now we're even.

I love you.

I'll be as patient as you need.

Go win an election.

What's going on?

Is it Grandpa?

Your emails to Alex have been hacked.

They were posted overnight to Reddit.

The Mirror and The Sun ran them this morning.

And now security photos of the two of you at the V have been popping up.

H-How many of our emails?

All of them.

I'm so sorry, Henry.

I need to call him.

I'm afraid you can't, sir.

I've taken the liberty of confiscating your phone as a precaution.

You've done what?

They've taken my phone and laptop as well.

No.

- You can't do this. - Orders from the palace, sir.

No, I give the orders in this palace!

These orders are from Buckingham Palace, sir.

It is believed that this is the work of certain rogue elements within the media.

C-Can we at least get a message to him?

Um, uh, t-to the White House?

I've tried my contacts within the White House with no luck.

They may be speaking to Downing Street, but they're not speaking to us.

The emails, which the Mirror is calling "The Waterloo Letters,"

detail the romance of Prince Henry and Alex Claremont-Diaz,

the son of American President Ellen Claremont.

As details emerge about

Alex Claremont-Diaz's relationship with the prince,

the White House is trying to stay on message.

This is obviously a critical time for the president in her reelection bid.

Polls have her in a dead heat with Governor Richards.

Now we have Miguel Ramos of Politico,

who was the first American journalist to break this story

and who has written extensively about it in the week since the leak.

I have to ask you, Miguel, why is this anyone's business?

After all, Alex Claremont-Diaz is a private citizen.

He isn't at all a private citizen.

He's playing an active role in his mother's campaign.

Well, don't public figures have a right to privacy?

They do, but these emails clearly show a pattern of obfuscation

around this relationship, and it's my job to examine and contextualize them.

I'm curious, Miguel.

These emails were posted to Reddit

at 11:54 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Sunday night,

and your first article was posted at 2:30 a.m. Monday morning.

How did you have time

to read nearly 72 emails, write an article and publish it

all within two and a half hours?

I'm not sure what you're getting at.

Are you really that quick or did you perhaps have advance knowledge

that this leak was going to happen?

Good morning.

Henry and I have been together since the beginning of this year.

As many of you have already read,

we've struggled every day with what this means

for our families, our countries and our futures.

And while neither of us is naive about what it means to be public figures,

we never imagined our most private and intimate thoughts, fears and truths

would become fodder for public examination.

What was taken from us this week was our right to determine for ourselves

how and when we should share our relationship

and queer identities with the world.

The truth is, every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms

and on their own timeline.

They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

The forced conformity of the closet

cannot be answered with forced conformity in coming out of it.

This isn't about shame.

This is about privacy

and the fundamental right of self-determination,

which are exactly the principles

on which the struggle for queer liberation has always been fought.

But there is another truth that's much simpler:

I fell in love with a person who happens to be a man,

and that man happens to be a prince.

He has captured my heart and made my life immeasurably better.

I love His Royal Highness,

Prince Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox.

I hope one day we'll have the opportunity

to be public about our relationship on our own terms.

Thank you.

Great job.

I'm proud of you.

Is it still possible I've cost my mom the election?

Yes.

But it's also possible that you just won her the election.

We'll find out next week.

I hope Henry was watching.

I could feel him watching.

He does this thing when he's worried.

Furrows his eyebrows.

It's the cutest thing.

God, I miss him.

Oh, my God.

I just have to do everything around here.

Shaan Shrivistava, this is Zahra Bankston.

Look, I know we said we'd only use these phones in an emergency.

Well, welcome to that emergency.

I've got the first son in my office,

mooing over the prince like a cow in labor,

and I'm not gonna get any work done

until you put these two lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another.

I don't care what any of those wrinkled white men at Buckingham Palace

have to say about it.

I want you to march your skinny, perfect ass over to the prince,

hand him your phone, or so help me God, you will never

see me naked again.

Wait, what?

I thought you might see it my way. Yes, we'll hold.

You might be lousy at keeping secrets, kiddo, but I'm not.

- Zahra, I could kiss you! - Touch me and die.

Hello?

ALEX Baby.

Alex?

Oh, my God. A-Are you all right?

I'm hanging in there.

Are you okay?

No.

No, I'm not okay.

You know what? I'm coming to London tonight.

Just hold on until I get there.

We'll figure this out.

Hurry.

Please.

I'll break the sound barrier for you.

Okay, move over.

Have you heard from your grandfather yet?

Not a word.

Part of me wonders if their entire strategy

is to deny I ever existed.

Can't keep you locked away forever.

We really need to get you a book on English history.

I feel so lost right now.

They used to call me the Prince of England's Hearts, and now...

it feels like everyone hates me.

Hey, they still love you.

They loved the idea of me.

And now they are faced with the reality.

Your speech was beautiful.

It made me very proud to be your boyfriend.

I'm always proud to be your boyfriend.

Oh, sorry, I'm white and upper-class,

so my affection comes with strings.

Oh, speaking of boyfriends on strings,

you'll never guess who Shaan is dating.

Excuse me, sir.

The king wishes to see you.

Both of you.

You know, it's not too late to get out of here and fly to the Maldives.

Tempting.

But I think it's time I stood up for myself.

Might as well start at the top.

The less you say, the better it'll be for you.

I do not need your advice, Philip.

Yes, well, you continue to make a mockery of yourself, and in return...

During the Second World War,

our intelligence services initiated

a clandestine disinformation campaign against our enemies.

While we employed it as a wartime necessity,

there are a number of unscrupulous governments

who routinely concoct wholesale fabrications

about prominent people

in order to further their own national interests.

I wonder, Henry.

Do you suppose that might explain these unseemly reports?

It's all true, Grandpa.

Nevertheless, I have directed palace communications

to issue a firm denial of these accusations.

They are not accusations.

They are the truth.

It's a truth from which I am determined to protect you.

I don't want your protection.

I want your support.

It is not yours to decide which of the two you will get.

I'm as much a part of this family as anyone here, and I deserve to be happy.

Oh, Henry, no one is suggesting that you don't deserve to be happy. I'm...

But to throw away your future

because of one mad infatuation...

Have you read our emails, Philip?

God, no.

Well, if you had, you would realize that this is more than just

a mad infatuation.

Alex and I love each other.

Deeply.

And we are committed to each other, deeply.

I have read your emails, Henry.

All of them.

They leave no doubt that your love is genuine.

Occasionally vulgar but genuine.

However, your primary responsibility

is not to your heart but to your country.

And anything other than maintaining the traditional royal image is...

out of the question.

Why is it out of the question?

Mr. Claremont-Diaz, let me disabuse you of the idea

that your contribution to this conversation is in any way welcome.

You are party to this problem, not to its solution.

I'll ask it, then.

Why must we maintain a traditional royal image?

Bec... because, bec...

Because the nation simply will not accept a prince who is...

...homosexual.

Yes, Tommy, what is it?

There's a rather large crowd gathering outside.

Well, how many people?

Hard to say, sir. Several thousand.

Right. That's settled, then.

What is it that we've settled?

You're all to go home immediately, uh, and await further instructions.

What's going on outside?

Henry, Bea, uh, there's a car waiting to take you to KP.

Oh, my God, Henry, look at this.

Henry, Bea.

Kensington Palace immediately, and take the American with you.

Apparently, there are crowds forming in Manchester, Sheffield, Birmingham,

Cardiff, Edinburgh and Liverpool.

I will no longer be the prince of shame and of secrets.

Starting today, the world will know me for who I am

and not who you want me to be.

You can't go out there.

Grandpa, tell them that they can't go out there.

Henry, my boy.

Are you sure this is what you want?

There is no turning back if you go out there now.

I certainly hope not.

I love you.

I love you more.

I think that's up for debate.

Well, it has been a long election night.

The entire race now hangs on Texas.

It's possible we are just minutes away

from knowing who the next president of the United States will be.

With 265 electoral votes,

Governor Richards has swept Pennsylvania, Ohio, Minnesota...

Let's find my dad. - ...Wisconsin and his home state of Michigan.

- Breathe, Alex. - I'll breathe when we win.

President Claremont is behind. She's currently...

Crikey, that's a lot of red.

Yes, it is.

It's all gonna come down to Texas.

Remind me how this works again.

We're the blue team, right?

What do they teach at that fancy private school?

You just say the word, I'll get you enrolled at UT Austin.

But that means all eyes now turn to Texas, the president's home state.

Texas of course has 40 electoral votes, which means very bluntly and simply...

it's easy to do the math here...

whoever wins Texas is gonna win the White House.

- Hey, Ma. - Hey, hon.

I-I wanted to say something like, uh,

"This-this campaign was never about just me.

It was about the country we hope to leave to our children."

You may remember that it was her son, Alex Claremont-Diaz,

who was the driving force in turning her campaign's focus to Texas.

And some people said that was to the detriment... - Can you take a walk with me?

...of the campaign's ability to carry the so-called Rust Belt states tonight.

It was a bold gamble to focus on Texas.

We're gonna see tonight if it paid off. What's going on?

I think my mom's working on her concession speech.

You fought hard, and it isn't over yet.

You still haven't noticed my tie.

Yellow roses.

I read it was a thing in Texas.

I thought it might bring you some luck.

Oh, my God, I'm so grateful you're here.

NBC News now projects

that Ellen Claremont has carried Texas and its 40 electoral votes.

And that means NBC News can now project

that President Ellen Claremont has been reelected

as president of the United States.

And looking at this map,

it really isn't anything that we have seen in a generation.

We've got the Republican candidate sweeping Midwest states like

Ohio, Pennsylvania...

Thank you.

There are people who will tell you that elections don't matter.

But try telling that to the auto worker in Michigan

who worries whether or not their plant will be shut down.

Tell that to the transgender high school student in Mississippi,

voting for the very first time.

Elections do matter because they give you a voice,

and your voice is blended tonight with the voices

of millions of Americans just like you:

openhearted, fearless and alive to a bolder,

brighter, braver future.

What do we do now?

Do you still have my key on you?

We won.

We won.

After you.

Wow, you really are working-class, aren't you?

Oh, shut up, Your Majesty.

Do you want me to give you a tour of the house?

Yes, lead the way, darling.

All right, so I took my first steps right over there.

♪ Far too femme ♪

♪ Surrounded by rocks ♪

♪ You're gonna look the gem ♪

♪ You can dress it away ♪

♪ Talk it away ♪

♪ Dull down the flame ♪

♪ But it's all pretend ♪

♪ It's all pretend ♪

♪ What would my, what would my ♪

♪ Father do? ♪

♪ Do I take a bite, take a bite of the fruit? ♪

♪ I've heard other people say ♪

♪ It can't be right if it causes you shame ♪

♪ Have I made you proud? ♪

♪ Take a look at me now ♪

♪ If I've got my father's eyes ♪

♪ I've got my mother's smile ♪

♪ Wrong or right ♪

♪ You're standing right in front of a green light ♪

♪ Just look at his face ♪

♪ What a beautiful face ♪

♪ How it makes you feel inside ♪

♪ What would my father do? ♪

♪ Do I take a bite, take a bite of the fruit? ♪

♪ Have I made you proud? ♪

♪ Take a look at me now ♪

♪ If I've got my father's eyes ♪

♪ I've got my mother's smile ♪

♪ Have I made you proud? ♪

♪ Take a look at me now ♪

♪ If I've got my father's eyes ♪

♪ I've got my mother's smile. ♪

♪ Are you a lucid dream? ♪

♪ That's what it seems ♪

♪ I'm not really sure if it's real ♪

♪ But I just got to say ♪

♪ I found my way ♪

♪ The forest got some magical feel, yeah ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ When the city is gone ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ With the feels I'm on ♪

♪ Are you a lucid dream ♪

♪ Or just a beam of light ♪

♪ Shining on me? ♪

♪ Or better yet, the camera ♪

♪ You press record ♪

♪ Living in the playback we see ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ When the city is gone ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ With the feels I'm on ♪

♪ With the feels I'm on ♪

♪ With the feels I'm on ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ Color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ Fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ My life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ Fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life ♪

♪ You've got to fill in my thoughts ♪

♪ You've got to color my life. ♪

Do you think anyone noticed?