Original subtitles

- Shit!

I'll kick the crap out of you right now--

you talk shit?

- Ow, fuck.

Ahh!

Aw, fuck.

- Shit. - Next time I'll be serious!

You want to fight again?

You want to go?

[speaking indistinctly]

- Hey. - Back off!

I thought we learned better than that.

I thought we learned better than that.

[boys screaming and shouting indistinctly]

[boy cheers]

[moody atmospheric music]

[shoes squeaking]

- I didn't want to come here,

because I heard bad stories about it.

*

- I did hear that it was the worst school

you could ever go to.

- It's where the bad kids went,

and I didn't want to go there because I'd get, you know,

picked on or bullied or something like that.

[indistinct police radio chatter]

- When I first came here, he pissed me off,

and I threw a chair at him.

And I told him I was gonna kill him.

[chair clatters]

- All the kids at that point, pretty much,

had been forced to be here. They weren't here by choice.

You know, and to have a student come walking through the door

that would just be on a bunch of uppers of something,

you know-- and kick over a table,

tell me to fuck off, tell someone else to fuck off,

and then roll out the back door, you know?

This place was a zoo.

*

- I remember, for the first two weeks,

just going,

"This is absolute chaos"--

very gang-affiliated. Kids from juvie.

Kids had knives. There were fights all over.

It was just, like, one thing after another,

and I just kept thinking, "Who's here to do something?

Like, no one's really doing anything."

[siren wails]

*

- I kept saying to myself,

"Somebody needs to get over there

and help those kids."

[school bell ringing]

[moody atmospheric music]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

*

[traffic whooshing]

[grass rustling]

[train whistle blowing distantly]

[dog barking distantly]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

[horn honks]

- In every school in America,

walking down every street in America,

there are the kids that get labeled.

The labeling of those kids is, "Get rid of 'em.

"They're nothing but trouble.

"We're gonna be paying for their welfare.

They're all gonna be in jail."

[school bell ringing]

Hey, guys.

How are you?

To create change when they're 16, 17, 18

that should've been addressed back when they were 5, 6, 7--

it's hard work.

- I mean, I don't think that they're gonna come on campus,

but if--if you have a visual and they start to walk on campus,

definitely let us know right away,

'cause we can come out for that.

- Roger that.

- Hey, Jim. - Yeah?

- Do you--I got to talk to you on something real quick.

- When I walked in,

it was the most out-of-control environment I have ever seen.

- Jessie stopped me and said that, um--

she's out there accusing multiple kids--

this is, like, obviously before we got her contained--

but multiple boys of rape.

- So DeeDee's pulling her back in--

- So that--yeah. - 100%, so.

The teachers here really cared about the kids,

but the behavior pieces really took over the building.

- Hey, Cody's on campus. - What?

- Cody is on campus. - Right now?

- Yes.

- I don't want to be the first phone call.

Start engaging these families.

I didn't know if I was gonna be able to pull it around.

I don't want to hear them say--

But what's really cool about today--

About two and a half years ago,

I was invited to go to a conference.

I'd heard about the ACEs research

but really didn't know anything about it.

The keynote speaker, he talked about complex trauma

and what stress does to the brain,

and it was so compelling.

- So let's see.

Where do we start?

Think about this in your head.

I want to know, have you or someone you know--

this doesn't have to be personal about just you--

I want to know if you've ever had trouble controlling emotion,

if you often get super mad,

easier than other people may get super mad.

Do you ever find yourself spacing off

when you need to focus?

Like, do you feel the pressure of

"This thing needs to get done right now,"

and the more you feel that,

the less you do?

Frequent stomachaches and headaches?

And do you get sick often?

And actually, I have a brain scan here on this next picture.

Let me--let me show you this.

So here's two brains, okay?

- In education, we're not supposed to say kids--

it's out of their control.

- These are that part that I was talking about.

- But the neuroscience tells us that students

that are coming to us with toxic stress,

their home environments are so unpredictable

that they're having to adjust constantly.

And this is during critical brain development.

That's what hit--it hit me,

and it hit me really hard.

- You're always on edge.

Impulsivity--

these are all things

that are affects of growing up with a lot of stress, okay?

So what are some of those stressors?

How many of you here said that-- you said you've heard of ACEs?

How many of you? - Yeah.

- Come on. - Raise your hand.

You have.

- What is it? - All right, here's ACEs.

ACEs was a study done in San Diego,

and they looked at thousands of people's records--

their health records.

They looked at these items that I have on the board right here.

Here are a group of things that can cause people

to have stress in their life when they're growing up.

Things like divorce, alcoholism,

heart disease, depression--

those are some pretty heavy things, right?

Does everyone have their clickers?

So on your clickers,

click in how many of those of the ten--

how many would you say would be true for you.

It's anonymous.

Type--count how many of those are true,

and punch that number and hit enter.

There we go.

Okay, so here we go.

Look at this for a second.

13 of the 17 people in this room--

this has been true of their experience,

growing up with at least five.

Four of you were at eight of these things that are true.

- That's crazy.

- What does that mean, you guys?

What does that mean?

This shows me that there's

a lot of brains in here right now

that are wired for survival,

and that might just maybe

emotionally be a little on edge.

So let's--let me go to this next thing, then.

Let me show you this next piece.

- I'm not gonna be different.

I like the person I am.

- That's not what I'm gonna ask.

- They're like asking, like,

you know, you don't want to be like your family is, you know?

Like that kind of-- like that kind of different.

- Oh, shit. Well, yeah.

I'm already different. - Yeah, but check it out.

You ready for this? - Yeah.

- 'Cause this is the part that's super heavy.

Sometimes, I don't want to even say it,

'cause I think it's that heavy.

You ready for heavy?

- So ready.

- 20 years ago,

those adults would've been sitting here in this room

saying, "I'm so different.

"There's no way I'm gonna cause a life of stress for my kids.

The cycle's gonna stop with me."

So how do you sit here now

and say the same things they said

and have it actually turn out differently?

[school bell ringing]

All right, see you guys.

Hey, you guys! - Yeah?

- I love you guys. I mean it. - I love you, Gordon.

- I was hunting everywhere for the curriculum.

It's not a curriculum.

So it was finally trying to figure out, "Okay,

how do you take this theory and put it into practice?"

- Let's go outside.

- I'm gonna go make some porn.

- [laughs]

- You want to join? - Sure.

- So what class are you in?

- Pottery.

- Pottery? - Yeah.

- How come you had this video camera in pottery?

- Here, hold this.

Because, uh--because fuck it.

I'm the video camera emperor.

- Okay.

- I just had a problem with authority.

Like, why do you even care what I do with my life?

Because it's my life,

and I can do what I want with it.

That's actually what the camera's for.

It's just for me to document my piece.

It's for the doc. I started skipping.

And I'd meet up with my friends,

and we'd walk around or something--

go smoke weed or something,

or, I don't know--

drink or something stupid,

or just sit around and do nothing.

Because doing nothing was better than being at school

and being harassed about everything, you know?

Agh! No!

So close,

but so far away.

As it turns out, they don't let you

just not go to school all the time,

and I got put on, like, diversion.

- Where you're at right now--

I mean, it's that bad right now.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause that's usually my fear of calling CPS,

is that it's gonna make things worse for you at home.

And that's the last thing I want to do.

You know what I mean? Um...

- For a long time, I didn't like Brooke,

because she was just that lady

that kept putting me back in the city courts.

- What I want you to do is stick around.

Don't just leave. If you feel like--

I actually worked at the Washington State Penitentiary

as a guard for about a year.

You know, one of the questions when I got the job here was,

you know, "How are you gonna feel about kids that, you know,

"are juvenile delinquents, or, you know, could--

could do some--you know, be angry and throw fits?"

And I kept thinking, "Well,

it's not going to be anything like the dude doing life

up at the pen," you know?

I would say we do home visits probably two, maybe three,

days a week, if we can--

in the morning, before things start getting hectic.

I would say--not always because kids aren't coming.

There's a variety of reasons we do it,

but this one in particular is because he hasn't shown up.

So we're gonna find out what's going on.

We did get a bus pass for him.

So we're gonna give that to him,

see if that helps him get to school.

Here we are.

- That side? - Yeah.

- It got to the point where it was like she

knew certain places that I was staying,

even if they weren't necessarily at my house.

And she would, like, knock on the door there

and find me all hungover and shitty-like,

and try and get me to come to school.

I was just like, "I'm not here."

Like, "Tell her I'm not here."

[gentle guitar music]

*

I was kind of put in this position

where I either started going to school,

or I was going to end up being arrested

for not going to school.

And so I was like,

"I should probably just,

you know, get my shit together."

But I started getting in trouble for other things.

So I was in my computer apps class,

and I pulled the lighter out of my pocket.

- I have one young man that came in.

He was flicking a lighter in class.

- I'm pretty sure that I said some pretty mean things,

and I ended up in, like, Sporleder's office.

- I brought him in, and I said,

you know, "I--I-- I need your lighter.

You can't have it at school."

And he says, "Yeah, I'm not giving it to ya."

- And I was like...

- And I say, "You know, let's keep it simple.

Just hand me your lighter."

"No."

But I do need to be consistent.

"I need your lighter."

Finally, I said, "It's really not a choice...

- So, like, whatever...

- "You have to give me the lighter."

He went out and screamed,

"F you, Sporleder,"

and flipped me off outside the window here.

- I ended up getting escorted off the property by the cops.

- Too much fun.

- A few years ago,

that would've been a five-day suspension.

And then, I would've made it very clear

that he's not gonna speak to me that way--

or speak to anybody that way.

- And so it's a house full of turmoil.

He looked really down,

and just feels like everything-- everybody's quitting on him.

- I mean, that's the hard part, is the--

But I called his dad,

and I said, "I want him back in school tomorrow morning."

And he showed up.

And what I had found out is,

his mother left town with no warning whatsoever.

She just was gone-- abandoned him.

It had nothing to do with the lighter.

So when he came in, I was able to say,

"My gosh, I heard about your mom.

I'm so sorry."

- He had a conference

with my dad and I and Brooke,

and they started to explain the little target thing

that he has on his desk.

You know, the green's whatever--

like, you're okay.

The yellow's like you're kind of not in a great mood,

so you'll be more likely

to react negatively to a situation.

And red's just, like,

you shouldn't be making any decision right now,

because you're too emotionally involved with the situation.

It's weird, 'cause it's one of the first times that, like,

a principal had ever, like, actually spoken to me

about something other than, like, punishment.

After that, I was-- I don't know.

He wasn't only a discipline figure in my life.

He was someone who was willing to allow me to talk to him

if I had a problem bothering me,

or just to say hi, you know?

Like a friend sort of deal.

For rights, you have the right to a fair trial,

the right to freedom of speech--

- So five days out, what would I have achieved there?

Put him in-school suspension;

now he's using a process to help learn the triggers.

- Yeah. [cheers and applause]

- He's not without anger,

but his explosions are just getting

further and further apart.

- What about if somebody gets in trouble?

Where do they go?

[indistinct chatter]

- And so I peeled him off the ceiling,

[laughs]

and we had a pretty good afternoon.

But he--

I would love to see if we could figure out a way--

I mean, the kid's clearly calling out

in every inappropriate way he can.

Growing up in a real fundamentalist environment--

fundamentalist family--

there was--there was plenty to rebel against.

And for some reason, I just got that rebellious bug as a kid.

And I was the defiant kid.

His Facebook is just nothing but sadness and loneliness,

and not the raging asshole that you might think it is.

So I guess I've always loved the kid with some attitude--

some kid with some "F you" in him.

And I knew that this was the building

that I wanted to be in, 'cause this is where--

this is where the kids with spirit and spunk--

and this was where the-- the kids that--

that were just real, you know?

They--they didn't have--

either they didn't have the desire or ability

to cover up what they really had going on inside.

- [laughs]

- Gordon!

- Fine, then. Be that way.

- Gordon, say "bye" to the camera.

- Ahh!

- Dianna, Dianna, Dianna.

- I'm saying that's 100 bucks for me.

That's more important. - Oh, 100 bucks for you?

- You keep 9. I get 100.

- Oh, oh, are you for real?

- I don't know that she's come into my room

without yelling my name,

like, "Hey, Gordon!"

It's very almost Kramer-esque,

her entrance-- which is just her personality.

- I would fall, like when those giraffes are--

the baby the giraffes are born,

and they fall on the floor--

that's how I would fall.

Jump out of the swing--

oh, oh, oh.

- It's huge. It's explosive.

It's explosive with joy,

and it's explosive with anger.

- Gordon--at first, when I got here, I--

I hated his ass.

I threw a chair at him.

You can ask him. I got a chair, and I threw at at his ass.

I was like, "Fuck you." And then he was like--

he was like, "Go to the office." And I was like, "What?"

I was like, "They're not gonna save you."

I was like "The school's not gonna save you

outside of school."

And he was like, "Is that a threat?"

And I'm like, "Fuck, yeah, it's a threat."

[indistinct chatter]

- I don't even remember why she threw the chair.

To be honest, it was oftentimes stuff

that was so benign that it wasn't even worth remembering.

- My mom is like, "If somebody disrespects you,

you go after them."

And she would tell me, "If you're gonna fight somebody,

you better beat their ass.

"'Cause if you come home and you didn't beat their ass,

I'm beating your ass when you come home."

- In an intense situation--

like a tiger jumps out of the jungle at you--

your brain floods with cortisol.

- My mom socked my little brother in the face.

She would do that to me all the time.

- It's fight or flight.

Either you're eaten

or you're safe.

And over the next eight minutes,

your cortisol comes back down,

and you're back to a normal level.

- My oldest brother--she burned his hands on the stove.

- But if the stressor doesn't go away,

and you grow up in a home

where you're continually threatened...

- He tried choking me, so I called the cops.

- Then a brain starts to develop to always

be ready for the next threat--

to always be ready for fight or flight.

- He picked me up, and he took me in his room,

and he just, like, touched me.

It happened so many times.

- Rage, anger--anything could set them off.

They don't know the difference between a real tiger

and a paper tiger.

[dramatic musical flourish]

You have to unconditionally love them,

and you have to believe that their behavior

might be out of their control.

And that piece is so hard for educators to swallow.

And that pill is a bitter, bitter pill.

It does not feel like you're setting them up for success

when you know they're gonna enter a world of hard knocks.

They're gonna have somebody who's signing their paycheck

that, when they tell them to fuck off,

they're just gonna fire 'em on the spot.

They're not gonna look at them and say, "Are you okay?

"You know, are--how's it going?

"What's going on in your life right now?

It seems like you're having a tough day today."

Like, that's not life.

They're never gonna have that in life.

But you've got to back up and say, "Okay, wait a minute.

Grounded in research says the most impactful thing

this kid can have for their future

is a caring relationship with a caring adult

that gets them and truly understands them.

- Dianna is an example

of a student that definitely has some ACEs in their life--

makes some real positive changes--

they're at critical risk.

And then, all of a sudden,

she got knocked off her feet.

- So recently,

like three weeks ago, I got kicked out of my house.

[speaking Spanish]

My mom met this guy at work,

and he's 25 years old.

And I told her that he's a drug dealer.

He--he stabbed somebody in California.

My oldest brother's 21 years old.

I'm like, "He could be your son."

She just went off on me.

She was like, "You're this. You're a ho.

You're--you know, you're a bad daughter."

She was like, "Get your shit and leave."

I'm like, "Dude, I take care of your kids.

"I feed your kids. I take your kids to shower.

"I help them. I go to the soccer game.

"I do everything. I do homework with them.

You need me. You can't just kick me out."

And it's like my mom was the only thing I had.

My dad got killed when I wasn't even born.

She's the only thing I had.

And for her to abandon me like that?

I--I wish I can go back...

and never be born again.

[gentle guitar music]

*

- Ooh.

The march of the ducks.

The flight of the ducks.

The swim of the ducks.

Hello, ducks!

"Hello, Aron."

I know I had a hard time fitting in.

I don't know--I don't really know about other kids.

Going to school here--

I thought it'd be better than Wa High,

because then I could just maybe

go about my business unnoticed--

not have to...

interact so much.

And in the beginning,

I was able to just go about my business unnoticed.

[gentle guitar music]

*

- So, Aron,

let me see if I can do the face.

He was super quiet, very morose.

And you asked him a question,

and he would look at you very mysteriously.

And then he would look away,

as though that's all he needed to say,

and it would be quiet again.

*

- He would rather go unnoticed,

because he felt that we were seeing things

that I guess, in his heart,

he felt about himself at that time.

Any kid--you can't just walk up to a kid

and go, "No, really,

you're beautiful."

All that's gonna cause is more distrust,

because they don't see themselves.

The first goal with kids like Aron

is just to get eye contact--

just to say something

to see if I can get eye contact from this kid,

build the relationship,

and move forward from there.

- Okay, you guys, text-to-world research--

and this is where it turns into college-level.

When I look at our kids--

I think about this from time to time,

and it'll be just one student in particular.

And I'll try to picture them, like, ten years down the road.

Like, what are they going to do?

You guys, let's head down. We'll go down to the labs.

Some of them I can picture. Some of them I can't.

There should be some key words you guys

can take out of the question and plug into Google.

I would like them to just be able to,

you know, have a family if that's what they want.

Have--hold down a job--

just contribute and be happy.

That--that's the part that concerns me.

- That's what I said.

- Aron, why are you film--

- We're supposed to film anything.

- Not me.

You're not filming me. - Well, it doesn't--

- You'd better turn it off.

I don't get it.

- Metal talks about what we don't want to talk about.

[harsh electric guitar notes]

[fast-paced electric guitar music]

*

My mother's always been...

sort of roller-coastery with her...

um, how she sees things

and her moods and whatnot.

*

It's a good thing I have music

and a pencil and paper.

Otherwise, I would possibly be dead

or slitting my wrists by now.

- What if we could take these kids home

and just show them what it's like?

I mean, that's what you want to do.

At the end of the day, you just want to take 'em home.

But, um, you can't.

You don't.

All right.

- Two, three, four.

[sullen music]

*

- * Oh, Penelope, are you filled with air? *

* Swallowed oxygen that makes you float up? *

- I love playing guitar with him.

I love playing with, like, several of these guys.

They--I like the fact that we don't have to talk.

That's--that's the biggest piece, you know?

The lack of talking, and then you--

there's still that communication going on.

I think that's--that's huge.

For some reason, I feel like that's almost as strong

as anything we ever do in class.

- * Oh

* Oh-oh-whoa-oh

- Academics has been very important,

but it falls in second to the person as a whole,

and, like, making a better human being--

tools just for, you know, getting along

and being able to communicate

how they feel and advocating for themselves,

and just all these little lessons

and positive encouragement.

- * Oh, Penelope, are you filled with air? *

- You hope you have a good interaction

with them on that Friday or some reason for them--

to get them to come back on Monday.

- * Will your lungs swell?

* It's depressing me to see you struggle *

* Oh-whoa-oh

[peppy drumbeat]

- Before here, I didn't want to get up.

But I think, from day one here,

I liked being here,

and I--I felt that I should be here.

That was good enough reason for me to, you know,

get up and go.

- [whistles]

[peppy drumbeat]

- Let's do this before the end of the period.

We move on to enzymes starting tomorrow.

So we got to get this done. - That's due Thursday.

- Mmm.

- Oh, and I'm mashing up white chocolate chips.

And then I'll put 1 milliliter in four of these,

and then do the different tests.

There's four different tests.

There's lipid, glucose, starch,

and protein.

I have cerebral palsy,

so I was different than most other kids.

You can't really see it, but I do.

I guess with cerebral palsy is that it affects your muscles

in your arms.

And I have it all through my whole left side of my body,

but I got a real, real mild case.

In some cases, it's--it's really bad.

Some kids can't even walk or talk.

I got lucky. I can walk.

I can talk. I can do everything.

But, like, if I have to do something with my hands,

physically, it's hard.

It didn't really hit me until I got into, like, junior high.

Then it was a little hard.

Like, I got picked on a lot of the time

'cause I couldn't do stuff

how other people did sometimes, so.

I never was really good at school.

I never found a school that would help me.

You'd think if you'd come to a school

that was full of delinquents, they'd all be jerks,

but they weren't.

Aw, good morning and today.

I felt like, immediately, as I came here,

I had tons of people all around me--

like, friend-wise-- and made lots of friends.

And I fit in. I felt like I fit in perfect.

Like, I felt normal for once--

an actual normal kid fitting in.

- Whoo! Yeah.

- Ring around the rosy!

- Are you gonna go to the--

- There's an obvious need for it.

I was making all these referrals

to these outside agencies.

And where the ball would drop is when these kids leave--

and I'm not saying all--

but when the majority of these kids leave this building,

their lives are so chaotic that it's unfair

for me to think that,

"I set up a 3:00 appointment

"out across town for you to get counseling.

Why didn't you make it?"

"Well, my mom was passed out on the couch.

I couldn't walk over there by the time.

I have no money for a bus pass,

and no one else could come get me."

- Come here. - I kept going,

"It doesn't matter if I make these referrals.

"And it doesn't even matter that they want to go to it.

They don't have access."

And so having--

literally walking out, you know, 100 yards,

and saying, "Here you go.

"This is what I was talking about.

Let's get you connected right now"

has made all the difference in the world--

I mean, from substance abuse to counseling.

I mean, I can't even tell you how many kids haven't seen

a primary care physician for just a well-child checkup

since they were in kindergarten.

- And if kids have a lot of stress,

they make more stomach acid,

and they'll get really, kind of,

upset stomachs, where it hurts to eat.

Let's see--and then I've got your vaccines.

You're all caught up.

And then remind me-- who lives in your family--

mom, dad, brothers, sisters?

- My aunt and my cousin.

- Okay, gotcha.

- My parents were too young when they had me.

My dad was, I think, 17, and my mom was 21.

They were gonna give me up for adoption,

but my grandparents said no,

'cause I was the first grandchild.

So they just took me.

- So on the weekends, do you have someone to cook for you?

And do you have food on the weekends?

- Yeah, mm-hmm. - Good.

What's bugging you these days?

Anything that's kind of on your mind, or--

- Well, like I don't have anything that's bugging me.

I don't know.

Like, I don't see my boyfriend that much.

It, like, irritates me that, like--

- Yeah, gotcha.

That he, what, doesn't want to be together?

- No, like, no. He just--I don't know.

Uh, my best--

well, my--who was my best friend at the time--

his name is Mark.

We were really close,

and we did get a little bit closer,

'cause we did start to date for a little while.

He was--he was a-- I don't want to--

no, I don't want to say he was violent,

but he's got a couple assault charges against him and stuff.

For my 18th birthday,

we went out and drank a fifth of hard liquor.

[kids laughing and chattering indistinctly]

And all I remember is they put me in the truck,

and then I passed out.

And then all I remember is waking up puking everywhere.

I couldn't see anything.

I could hear, but I couldn't see.

All I saw was a bright light.

The people that we went with came back

and tried to come check on me, and Mark wouldn't let them.

He was like, "No, she's fine."

My blood alcohol was .25, so way over--

yeah, I drank a lot.

The doctor said I--I could've died.

And he probably wouldn't have cared.

- Is he kind of possessive of you, do you think?

- No. - Okay.

He's not like, "If you're not back in ten minutes,

I'll know you've been cheating on me" kind of thing.

- No.

- All right. There are some guys like that.

- I would, like, go crazy.

- I think the biggest failure we have right now

with these young girls

is not acknowledging how poor self-worth is.

I mean, that can go all the way

from what media teaches you of--

of what's sexy and what's attractive about women,

to a lot of these girls either have father figures

that aren't active or aren't positive.

And some are never to have been seen.

So that's one--

gonna be something that they're seeking continuously.

You know, we--we push so hard for, you know,

"We got-- we have to have sex ed.

Look at all these kids getting pregnant."

I do agree that they need to know what to use,

but I think people are skipping right past the bigger issue,

which is positive, healthy relationships,

and understanding their worth.

So you have to be willing to walk--

have to kick him to the curb and move on.

There's lots of great guys out there.

- Yeah. - Okay, yeah.

- Lincoln sits right in the heart

of the most active area in our community,

as far as assaults, gang activities, truancy,

stabbings, murders.

We're hearing that the 13th Street gang

is really pushing the meth right now.

A couple weeks ago,

we had a car pull up in front of Lincoln.

One of the people that's been selling meth in our area

tried to get one of--

one of our kids.

He was calling her over, trying to get her to buy some,

and she said she was done with it.

They were using meth in the car,

and he took a puff, and blew it in her face,

and said, "You'll be back, bitch."

And unfortunately, with meth,

it is so addicting that the road back--

I just--you just don't see kids coming back very often.

So that's why I'm really concerned,

as it appears that meth has hit Lincoln.

[indistinct chatter]

- Coming into Lincoln,

I just thought all the drama would just, like, go away.

I was starting somewhere new.

At first, I was just kind of sad,

and covered it up with this really loud girl who,

like, ran around being friends with everybody.

I got a lot of things hidden within me

that nobody knows about.

There's my mommy.

My mom has hazel eyes.

And me?

I have brown eyes, unfortunately.

I kind of wanted light eyes.

[kids chattering]

When I was seven or eight,

I remember seeing my mom and knowing, sort of,

something was wrong with her. - Come here a second.

He said it was lame seeing him, and that it sucked balls.

- This is--this is your sexy, hot mama!

This is your sexy, hot mama!

- It's on his jersey!

And my family knew.

And they tried to shelter me

away from it as much as they could,

but it was really hard,

'cause I had learned about what was going on

with the D.A.R.E. program

that came to our school and told us about drugs.

I realized, "My mom is doing these same things

they're teaching me not to do."

You can ask anyone at this school.

They'll say, "No, I haven't heard about meth."

But you try it once, I promise it'll own you.

You'll think about it.

You'll steal money.

You'll lie to your family.

And you don't have a problem looking your mom in the eye,

saying you're gonna go somewhere

that you're not really going.

I could look at her and say, "Well, she lied to me.

What's the problem?"

- So, so far, it's just kind of

a suspicious vehicle that's--

- All of them were methed out. - Methed out?

- No question.

Suspicious vehicle because he pulled Kelsey

over and said that.

I mean, she still is really upset about it.

I'm trying to get her to the clinic to talk about it,

so I guess we'll see.

- If I see him talking to kids,

I'm gonna go over and confront him.

I just know what these guys to do our girls.

- Well, yeah. - And--and so.

- Yes. Agreed.

- I got myself worked up.

- A lot of damaged self-esteems and self-worth.

- Now, how--how are we gonna get these kids back?

- Well, everybody keeps talking about addressing the drugs.

My thing is, we need to address

what's causing them to use these drugs.

That's what we need to figure out.

- I love my mom.

It's just hard.

And the other day, I tried to tell her

about what happened to me when I lived in the Tri-Cities.

'Cause I was walking home from school one day...

and this person comes up behind me, and I was--

I was in sixth grade, 12 years old--

and just grabs me.

And I got--

I got sexually molested.

And the guy let me go

and told me if I told anyone,

he's gonna kill my family.

He's gonna find everything I've ever loved

and burn it down.

And so every day after that,

I'd walk past that same house

and just cry and cry.

Go to school, get bullied, come home--

every single day.

And I had this big dog.

His name was Harley.

This dog was my only friend-- our family's dog.

And I remember one night,

I just--

I didn't want to be alive,

so I'd went into my closet.

I left-- I left my room door open.

I didn't lock it or anything, but it was closed.

But I didn't--I have a lock, but I didn't lock it.

And I left Harley in the room,

and he started barking really loud.

And if he wouldn't have done that--who knows?

I might not have even been here.

- Just looking back to my life,

having been sexually assaulted in high school,

I was someone that, you know,

used drugs to avoid

all of the processing for that--

and avoided, avoided, avoided having to deal with it.

- After that, I saw myself as ugly.

I hated myself.

I just felt like this big blob walking around.

I felt like this zombie.

- A lot of these young women coming through here--I mean,

what--our last one was

over one in four of these girls have been sexually assaulted.

I think it was one in three.

So you're talking one in every three girls

you see walking down this hallway

who has such little self-worth,

because of all of these events that have built up,

and have never had a chance to really talk it out,

because they don't have a safe environment

to do that processing in.

- I just--I kept it all inside.

I didn't ever want anyone to know that of me.

- It's not that I'm judging you.

I know why you're smoking weed.

I know why you smoke meth. You don't want to feel.

I mean, that's the big challenge is,

I'm asking you to try feeling for a little bit.

Because sometimes when you feel,

it guides you in the direction that you should be going

and not to where you are.

- So the answer to the question is three.

Eleven is one.

I was a little nervous, to be honest.

The first day that I came here,

I started the ISS room.

And the kids were not for that at all.

They don't like it, because they're away from their peers,

or they'd rather be out running around or whatever.

But it didn't take long.

Once they realized that, "Hey, I kind of like this person,

so I'm not gonna be"-- you know, it--

it really didn't take long.

I think within that day,

actually, I was winning kids over.

That's what we need to do.

The teachers were like, "Really?

"They--they're staying in there and they're doing their work?

That's really unusual."

- My cousin, when I went to go visit Aberdeen,

um, it was like--

I was trying to do better 'cause I have to.

I have to.

I want to graduate.

I could just have one at the house.

But everything else pulls you back.

- Dianna was a frequent person in my room because of behavior.

She's here for consequence,

and she would come in and have to do her work,

and have the rules and whatnot of the ISS room.

And over the years, you know,

we've just become very close.

- Shelly--like, I would go and tell her everything.

All the time, I would go in there and cry.

Can't find my phone.

Just walk with me.

I got kicked out of my house.

It hit me like--I was like,

"Wow, this is actually happening.

"Where am I gonna go? Am I gonna be homeless?

"How am I gonna be?

"How am I gonna-- gonna get to school?

What am I gonna do?"

Because I have nowhere to go.

- Report on a student of ours--

a possible neglect and abuse. - Okay.

- I am concerned about how--

what the repercussions of calling CPS

for this young lady are.

I really don't want to have any backlash on it.

- And the--that is something--

- Brooke, she's like, "You know, I got to call CPS,"

and I was like, "I know."

- You know, it just got to the point where we felt like,

"Gosh, this kid has nowhere to go.

She has nowhere to go."

- Shelly was like, "Somebody's here to see you."

And I'm like, "Who?" He's like a CPS worker.

- They were putting her in protective custody,

and that they're--

they came to me and said, you know,

"Are you--would you be interested in taking her?"

When kids are put in foster care,

sometimes that experience is good

and sometimes that experience is bad.

I know that firsthand.

I was--I was actually in foster care as child for a while.

And I was in a great home.

And the second one I was in was a horrible home--

it was absolutely awful.

And I'm like, "Is she gonna get into this horrible situation,

or is she gonna have a good experience?"

- And that's when me and Shelly got really close.

She was like, "I'll take her."

And she took me.

And then, that same day, I ended up going home with her.

All right!

We about ready to sing to our girl?

I got to get my phone.

- * Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday to you

- I'm done!

- * Happy birthday, dear Dianna *

* Happy birthday to you

- [laughs]

Oh, my God, you guys.

[laughter]

- It's okay. - It's weird.

It's--it's weird to get into it

and learn how to get used to it.

- There's a little card over there to open up.

- Big 17! - It's okay right here.

- Just leave it right there? - Well, maybe I will.

- Aw, you so nice. - Aw, well, we mean it.

We're glad you're part of our family.

You can just see that some weight's been

lifted off her shoulders.

She has those sad moments, though.

It's not like a magical thing

where it wipes everything away.

And obviously, we know that.

I mean, like yesterday,

she waited until midnight for her mom to call her.

You know, she just wants to be--

She wants her mom to care about her and show that.

She never did call her,

never did text her.

That pain--you know, there's still a lot

of pain there with that.

There always will be.

- But it's the truth of the matter.

You are looking at possible criminal charges

just for skipping school.

You can look at 30 days in juvie.

And that's the point.

We're trying to get you guys graduated.

Here's the good side.

Half of the student body had over a 3.0 GPA.

I'll show you a report card so that you know.

[cheers and applause]

Most students were a B or above average.

That's big.

So here you are.

This is more than 15 absences.

You're down in the Ds to Fs.

So when you're missing school,

there's an obvious connection

between your body not being in here

and you failing.

Because when you look at this--

when you're here, you're As and Bs.

When you're gone, you're failing.

And that's it. And that's--

That's a big difference.

[indistinct chatter]

Steven--when he got here, so angry with society,

so anti-authority--literally, at the beginning,

he would've been a liability to this community.

[feedback humming]

[up-tempo drumbeat]

[moody rock music]

*

- I don't want to end up like a lot of my friends

have the past few months.

A lot of them kind of just turned to harder drugs

and stuff recently--

methamphetamines and heroin

and, like, cocaine and stuff.

**

- Some of the conversations that I've had with Steven were,

you know, "And how is that working for your buddies?"

And "It's actually not that bad, you know?

"You know, so-and-so's staying at another friend's house,

"in the basement, and they--you know, they just kind of get up,

smoke weed all day and play video games."

And I'm like, "And that sounds awesome, doesn't it?"

And he's like, "Well, yeah.

I mean, you don't really have to do anything."

And, "So who's paying for that?"

And he goes, "Well, he gets food stamps--

you know, however much in food stamps."

And I go, "Oh, so he's

"collecting from the very government

that you guys keep saying 'fuck you' to?"

And he was--I mean, and it was that moment

where he was kind of like--

You know, and then he thought,

and he's like, "Well, God, yeah."

And so the more we had those discussions,

where it was like, "You know,

"it sounds like you're saying 'fuck the government,'

"but everybody ultimately is

"either gonna be locked up or, you know, living off of it,

"so maybe your--

your choices so far don't work."

And that's where it opened the opportunity to say,

"Why do you graduate?

"Because then you can get a job,

and you can do whatever the fuck you want."

[moody music fades]

*

- Well,

I hadn't really taken college into much consideration

until just a couple months ago,

when--when Genie began to mention it to me.

[indistinct chatter]

I'm managing to do well,

and so it makes it look like there's a lot more options

for me than when I was failing consistently because I was--

wasn't coming to school.

So we're going, then?

We're going? - We're going!

- Is this part one? - Yeah, man, we are.

- We're on the way. - Where are we going?

- We're going to Bellingham,

to check out Western and Fairhaven.

- It's a true story.

- Tuck and roll.

Tuck and roll, baby, right there.

- Yup.

- This should be on you.

- On me?

- Turn on the--turn that on. - Spotlight?

- Yeah, let's do that. - Yeah, spotlight.

- All right, let's do an interview here.

Let's do this.

You ready for this? - I--I guess. I guess.

- Let's do some warm-up questions--some warm-up.

- Okay, where were you born?

Where--ho!

[laughter]

- They've shown me a different side of, like,

society itself, sort of deal.

If they think that I'm not looking, like,

as chipper as usual or whatever,

then they'll offer me food.

And, like, one of our teachers bought me shoes last year.

And that was really nice, 'cause I needed shoes,

and it was the middle of winter.

- I don't know.

What do you think?

If you look at your life so far,

what have been key moments in your life

that you think have shaped who you are?

- Um, I'd say...

my mom being diagnosed with bipolar,

my parents splitting up,

and, uh...

freaking...

I have those two.

I don't know what else, though.

Being put on probation, I guess--

that kind of--that changed a lot of things.

Um...

almost overdosing changed a lot of things too.

That was--definitely kind of opened my eyes,

to the point where I was like, "Whoa.

"I kind of don't really feel like

it would be awesome to die."

- Here's Fairhaven.

It's hidden by all these trees,

which is kind of rad.

Some sweet stairs.

We'll just document how lost I can get.

[laughter] - That's rancid.

- Choke on it. [laughter]

- I'm actually filming you putting the quarter in.

- I think that their kindness made it a whole lot

easier for me to, like, learn things from them

and actually listen to them

and take their advice.

Because I was like, "These are good people.

Why would I not listen to them?"

[laughter]

- Nicely done.

- In order for this to happen,

there's a lot of stuff that has to click into place.

He might not get into college.

He might not get the financial aid

he needs in order to even

afford to be able to go to college.

Steven. - What?

- I love you, man. - I love you too, man.

- At this time of life,

for a lot of kids-- this is their senior year.

This is decision-making time.

Like, "What am I gonna do next with my life?

"Am I going to make that next step and invest in the future?

Or am I gonna step out and coast

where I'm at right now?"

And--and he could go any one of those directions.

[clicking]

- People don't always understand that,

even when you open up your palms

and let your writing flutter away on the breeze,

into the clouds, through the void,

that you've given them a piece of yourself--

the most precious wounded bits

that you forget can be so beautiful

until you see them from a distance.

People don't always know how lovely but painful it is

to see the worst parts of you

flourish the moment they get away from you--

something you hated because you failed to see the value,

to witness the best parts of yourself shuffled past

and discarded like junk mail or put down like a sick dog--

something you love dearly

that you didn't want to see in agony

but you desperately didn't want to lose just to have it buried.

But if you had kept it inside of you,

it would have festered into something hideous.

If you had kept it safe and locked up,

it would still have been wasted away.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Babe.

It's hella zoomed in!

How do I zoom out? - The top.

- Oh.

When I met Gustavo and he told me his story,

I was just like, "Wow, this guy thinks exactly like me."

I told him every little part

of who I was,

and he was okay with it.

- I didn't know I was gonna date her.

We didn't know we were gonna date, you know?

We came from both different backgrounds.

She was one of those quiet little gothic girls,

and I was one of those loud, mean bully--just kind of kids.

It turned out better than I expected.

The school counselor, Brooke--

they asked her who she'd-- should recommend to work on it,

and she'd seen a lot of my work, so she said me.

- [laughs]

How do you feel when you paint?

- Relaxed.

- He's really kind of an escape.

I really lean on him.

I tell him, "I'm gonna freak out.

"I need weed. I need this.

I need that."

But seeing how much Gustavo's life

was affected by the same thing with his family, he's like,

"Everybody leaves me for drugs."

And it made me think,

"Everybody leaves me for it too,

"and I'm here leaving school,

leaving my family, leaving him."

- My girlfriend, Kelsey,

she's like, "Why do you get me so well?"

I'm like, "'Cause I was raised by a woman."

Hi, mom. Say hi, mom.

You know, my mom's like both parents.

Like, on--on Fathers' Day,

we're like, "Happy Fathers' Day, mom!"

[laughs]

My dad left when I was, like, seven or eight.

One time that haunts me

is this argument my mom and my dad had.

We lived in a trailer. We had no money.

It was five kids.

We didn't have anything to eat.

My dad came home after, like, a week of being gone.

My mom told him, "That's it.

"That's it. I'm sick of your crap.

We're done."

I knew he was doing drugs.

You can tell. When my dad did drugs,

his eyes glowed red like the devil.

I walked over, and I looked at him,

and he just looked at me--

no emotion, no sadness, no regret.

And I said, "Are you leaving?"

He said, "No, I'll never leave you."

I fell asleep good, feeling I was protected,

you know?

But I woke up;

he wasn't there.

I always--always waited for him to come back.

My dad never did the best things,

but he was my superhero, you know?

- He wants to be like his dad--

whether his dad was shooting at people

or whether his dad was being nice.

He wants to be like his dad.

- I still carry a lot of the baggage.

It's the pain that makes us who we are, you know?

- Sometimes suffering doesn't have a good outcome.

But I do know one thing, is that I believe in him.

- So, you ready?

On your cue!

Remember, character, okay?

I really want you working on your character.

What you practice is what you're gonna do on stage.

- I was super introverted,

and I was very sensitive.

It was pretty bad.

- Shh.

- Step right up! Step right up!

Come and see the amazing freaks--

mistakes of nature,

the strange and bizarre.

We can call him "Bobby Wilson:

the boy who can eat his own face."

- That's kind of--

- I don't know when it all changed or what--

what started the change.

I just all of a sudden

started talking a bit more to the teachers and the staff.

And this is the--

the first place that I've ever been to that I--

I've felt that...

they cared about me as an individual.

[rock music]

*

Hi. - Hey, get out of here.

- Hi, Genie. - Hey, Aron.

- Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Jordan number two.

How's it going, guys?

Keep the Magic flowing.

I guess I just wasn't in an environment

where people bullied me and put me down.

And instead they built me up.

- Aron Wulf!

Happy Friday to the Wolf!

- Happy Friday, Mr. Gordon.

- Thank you.

Living the dream.

Aron Wulf, living the dream.

- You know, then he started drawing,

and his art has got awesome.

**

- I did this one, and I did that one, and--

- And you can see him just kind of saying, "Hey, check it out.

"Here's a piece of me.

Here's this cool thing I can do.

I can draw." And it was awesome.

And he got--he--he got a lot accolades for that.

And that helped draw him out a little bit.

- The growth that he's even had this year

has been incredible for me--

just to watch his confidence come back.

I mean, it was--

he was so lacking in it before,

and so angry,

that all of the incredible qualities, I mean,

that you see in this kid, you would never have seen.

- Welcome to the most disturbing show on Earth.

See the amazing devil girl!

She is five years old,

and she's as evil as sin!

Tremble in fear before the terrible, twisted nature

of this horrible little girl!

- [growls]

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- In my opinion, I think it's only going to get better.

There's a lot of things I want to do.

- So let's go back up to the first one.

Okay, dealing with adversity--

so think outside of yourself.

What would someone looking at you think, "Wow.

"That's a little bit different than maybe other kids

have had to deal with?"

I mean, when you think about your ACEs,

what are the--what are the ones that stand out?

- I can't remember the--all the ACEs.

- Is mental health a big one?

- Probably.

- Is that one you're willing to write about?

'Cause that is-- you have had a lifetime

of working with someone with some mental health issues.

But I don't know if you're willing to write that on here.

- Yeah, but how do I put that in words?

[clears throat]

[keys clacking]

- A lot of people applying for colleges--

things haven't been that hard.

They've had some little things, like they

didn't make varsity basketball when they wanted to,

and then they had to play really hard

and work really hard to make the team, right?

But it's hard for you to be able to see that,

when you've only lived your own life.

But think a little bit in terms of,

like, they're getting all these applications.

So what makes you unique?

And this is one of those things.

So if you're willing to name it.

- Porphyria!

There we go.

- I don't know why that wasn't on the tip of my tongue.

[laughs]

- Porphyria.

How do you spell "porphyria"?

- "It's characterized by ataxia, severe abdominal pain,

"peripheral neuropathy,

and mental disturbances."

All right, there you go.

So this means every day is unpredictable?

- Every day at home is unpredictable.

- There we go.

- Responsibilities.

- There we go.

All right?

Team!

- Sorry.

[door squeaks]

- This is out--

see, I live out in the country,

like out in the--out, out in the country, like--see?

I moved in here, what?

Almost three weeks ago.

These are onions.

Hopefully it doesn't, like, beat me up or anything.

And that's my house, right there.

Who said I was gonna fall off?

You see I'm on my bike, right?

I feel like I'm happier,

because I don't have to think about,

every night, "Am I gonna get kicked out?

Am I gonna eat tomorrow? Am I gonna be okay?"

Oh, look at the cowls! Is that--cowl?

I can't even say it. How do you say it?

- Cow.

- Cow.

I'm not stressing so much about school and all that.

Like, I'm not by myself anymore.

I got a team.

Can you help me center it, please, Kofler?

It's hard.

My grades--they were--

they were so bad at-- at the beginning of the year.

I had, like, so many Fs.

Well, this quarter, I have a B,

a C-minus--no a C-plus--

a B-minus, a B-minus, a B-minus, an A, and a C-minus.

Ohh. What now?

You see how badass that is?

One thing that I realized, though--like, all my mom--

my mom, my aunts, my grandma--

they all had kids when they were 15, 14.

My mom had my oldest brother when she was 15.

And I'm the first one that's 17 and has no kids.

How proud I am of myself.

Uh, does it say? It says June 19th.

- Okay. - And it's a hearing.

"If the court finds the child dependent,

it could results--

result in permanent loss

of your parent's right-- rights."

So I'm guessing this is, like,

to take the rights off of her.

- So do you-- do you think you can--

Do you think you can hold it together through court?

- That's-- that's what I'm scared of.

That's what I'm scared of.

I don't know what to do when I see her.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

She gets to me.

She's always getting to me.

I feel like it's not--

if it's not one thing, it's another thing,

when it comes down to her.

Like, it was like, first, trying to find her,

and then getting served papers, and then all that.

And then she cusses me out, and then court now.

Like, I feel like I--and then

people telling me all this shit she's been saying.

Like, it never stops.

She's still gonna be in my life.

You can take me away to Africa.

I--I will still hear about her ass.

- Well, that one's just gonna take some time.

I mean, that--it--it's--

that's a really heavy, difficult situation.

And--and, you know,

like we've talked about in this conversation, it--

there's not gonna be a time where it's just done and over.

- I know. And that's how I feel like.

It's never gonna end. It's always gonna be something.

- Well, so, being able to--

to manage it is gonna be a combination of--

of learning to accept what is out of our control,

and to focus on the parts of your life

that is in your control.

And the more you focus on--

on the positive stuff that you do have,

and the direction that you want to go,

and all of that,

the easier it is to let go of the other.

It'll always be there. It'll always suck.

But it doesn't have to swallow up your whole life.

- I don't know all that information.

Either did you, though.

It was a hard weekend all around.

There's a big video

that was posted over the weekend

that had two girls fighting.

And it was videotaped by,

I swear to God, 90% of our student body.

If you go on Facebook--

and here's the video.

It was over a boy,

with all boys standing around

instigating this.

- This is gonna be awesome!

Ahh!

[laughs]

Greg, move!

- And it's like a three-minute video.

And I don't know if you've ever been in a fight--

three minutes in a fight is quite a while.

- This is going on YouTube, bro.

- The heart-wrenching part for me was watching it,

and these girls not understanding

that they're the cock in the cock fight--

that they're the pit bull in the dog fight,

and being used

for the entertainment of these guys.

- On her face.

- I mean, it's just sick, man--sick.

- Don't slap! Punch! The face! Punch!

- Girl fights last forever.

- I know. Just smash his teeth and done.

- We've been getting in a lot of,

like, arguments and stuff.

I have a temper.

I have a huge temper.

But then you tell me I'm gonna break the floor!

Make up your mind.

And he has huge anger issues.

So it's like, when we get into an argument,

it's not good.

- Come on. [pins clattering]

- Recently, we've been having more downs than ups.

We're at those points of, like, breaking up, like,

almost once or twice a day.

- I don't know.

He just kind of freaks out when I'm away from him.

I don't know what it is.

It's that need to always have me there.

- Whenever I'm not around her for, like,

a half hour, I'm going crazy.

I'm calling her and calling her

and texting her and texting her and--

And I'll, like, run around the school,

like, 80 times looking for her.

So I'll be like, "Where the hell were you?

What--what happened?"

But it can't--

we can't be separated.

- Teen love.

When I talk with the guys and we start talking about,

you know, "Why do you have to check her phone?

Why do you have to do all these things?"

You know, we'd had the discussions,

seeing this pattern, you know?

"And I know it's not intentional.

"I know that you're not meaning to.

But I'm telling you where this is headed."

- Um, I was in class,

and there's these specific girls.

There was five of them.

And they were just talking,

and I heard my boyfriend's name.

"Oh, he's, like, in love with me,

and he said this about me,"

and looked over and started giggling at me

to see if I was listening.

I could just hear 'em

constantly giggling and talking,

and just keep provoking.

And as soon as I got out of class, I waited out there.

And one girl came out, looked at me, and ran.

- Let's go!

- And this girl I'd already had a problem with,

I was like, "Is that all you do, is talk about Gustavo?"

I'm like, "Is that all you can do?"

She was like, "Shut the fuck up."

Everything in me just went off.

- Let go! Let me the fuck go!

I ain't playing with you!

- And I knew I should've went to go talk to someone,

but I didn't.

And I just--I just hit her.

Like, it was the first time I've ever actually wanted to,

like, hurt someone.

And while I was doing it, I was like, "What am I doing?"

[laughs]

[engine rumbling]

- It's very concerning

for me to see that they're constantly, kind of,

in these little arguments,

or crying somewhere,

or conflict somewhere else.

Even the last fight she was in--

he said, "Uh, so"--you know,

the girl that she fought's right down the stairs.

"She wants to say something to you."

And Kelsey's response was,

"Well, if she wanted to say something to me, she would've."

And he's like, "Well, then, she's right down there.

Let's go out."

Well, why are-- why are you taking someone

that you love and care,

and throwing them to the fire?

I mean, I don't understand this concept.

I look at Kelsey and, as bad as she was,

you know, using,

she seems more miserable to me now than she did then.

I mean, you substituted meth for an unhealthy relationship.

You went from one addiction to the next.

- She doesn't seem--

Yeah, she seems kind of-- she seems sadder.

- She's doing something. - Kelsey?

- More sad. - Yeah?

- Attendance? - Is bad.

all: Bad.

- Well, Gustavo and Kelsey

have been having some relationship problems.

Even though that's not our responsibility,

we jump on it.

It had gotten to the point where I get calls

that they're out of class again.

So I finally brought them in

and just had to share, you know,

bottom line.

We've got the health center for counseling.

You got before school, lunch:

that's the time to take care of any problem that you have.

But as far as leaving class,

we're at the point now that that's not an option.

I asked them to take care of it.

- Yeah, I'm working on this mural.

- It's still holding them accountable.

They still have to deal with the consequences,

but they're still loved and accepted.

- For a lot of these kids, that chaos is comfort zone

because it's so familiar.

You came to see me.

And it's so hard to ask a lot of these kids

to trust you enough to step out of their comfort zone

and try something new--

that you may not see the reward instantly,

but it's there, and you just got to give me enough trust

to get you to that point.

- We gave each other space.

We don't hang out every day like we used to.

Um...

but I just really want to be able

to talk things out with him.

I don't want the screaming. I don't want the yelling.

I don't--that really takes its toll after a while.

- You have that kind of anguish inside

and aren't able to talk about it, so--

- It's encouraging for me

to see that they've stopped at a point

where you're able to intervene,

before you get to that level of violence

and complete control.

I hope more people are having those conversations with him,

so it's not just, "Eh, Brooke's kind of crazy.

She just says weird shit."

I hope it's coming from a lot of different angles

so that they put more value into, "Well,

"I--you know, I like Gordon, and I like Sporleder.

"And all these guys are saying it too.

"It's not just a chick telling me.

"It's guys saying it. It's not okay.

"It's really not okay to feel that way,

and it's not okay to control."

That conversation needs to happen.

- Last week, Steven walked into school.

- [laughs]

- What's up? - Sup, man?

- Not a lot. What are you guys doing?

- And you see this look on his face.

And he had this letter to--to hand me.

And I was in the middle of talking to people,

and I--I know what that college envelope looks like, right?

That letter of acceptance.

I was like, "Is this what I think it is?"

He was like--you know,

and so I'm, like, crying in the middle of the hall,

and--

but I could see it in his face.

All of a sudden this is not theory.

This is reality, that this could happen--

that "I could be this person that goes to college."

That, in itself,

has sent him into this total tailspin.

- Oh, look how beautiful these flowers are,

and how shitty the day is.

What a terrible day.

- Of course, his coping mechanism is, every night,

drinking a ton, smoking a ton.

- It's like, I don't even know

if I'm actually going to college yet

or not, so.

I've thought about it not even, like, being worth it.

But it's like--whatever.

I just need to do something, I guess.

I'll figure that out.

- Does anyone have any questions on this?

You guys have all done one round of this,

for the most part, right?

Steven has gone AWOL

from school, kind of, right now.

Um, what's going on?

I--I kind of want to shake him.

I just want to grab him and shake him.

So, uh...

Ugh.

[laughs]

It's--uh, yeah.

- Um, well, you know, yeah,

I don't have anything on the computer,

or a video, or a three--

three-ring binder,

because...

things have been somewhat chaotic as of late.

So I will be just speaking.

In other words, winging it.

- I actually probably have more stress

right now about Aron getting to college

than I do about Steven getting to college.

- Uh, as far as I know,

they haven't received my ACT scores yet, but--

- It's taken him forever to get his stuff done for college.

Like, I've just been freaking out

that he's even gonna finish.

We see, when kids start getting close to graduation,

they--they bail.

They will absolutely sabotage themselves,

with one credit left before they reach graduation.

'Cause I can't imagine that the idea--

they know what the real world is like.

And even though we've created this really great place here,

they know that that's about ready

to end in a matter of weeks.

And then we lose our kids in that senior year.

They melt down.

- And these layers of guilt set in--

"I don't think I can go that far away,

"because, you know,

"I need to check in with my mom.

"My dad has glaucoma, and it's getting worse.

"Yeah, he drinks, but I'm, like,

the only person that checks in on him."

[cat purring]

- There is a--

a very unhealthy relationship between he and his mom.

And I see it a lot with these kids,

is that the oldest child--

or, in his case, the only child--

is kind of thrust into the-- you know,

if it's a single household--

you're thrust into what you would expect

the role to be of her husband.

And I think that that's the weight and the burden

that she's kind of put on him.

- It's tough to leave family

that you know needs your support,

no matter how much you know

that it's the best thing for the future

for both of you.

But to get that education means pulling that support away

for the time period it takes for him to get that.

And that's--I mean, that's really tough.

That's really hard.

- You do everything you can.

And it's not like I'm, like,

wanting him to live--live this dream that I have for him,

that he's got to go to college. It's not even about that.

It's just about how he feels about himself.

[plaintive guitar music]

*

- [sighs]

So Steven's clearly having a rough go right now.

[plaintive guitar music continues]

*

Frickin, uh, romantic-comedy ending.

Uh, it's just not. I don't know.

- Something has triggered that. You know what I mean?

Other teachers have warned me that you're on this trajectory

with the kiddos where,

you know, you have the massive successes,

and they're gonna crash after those.

And part of you doesn't want to believe it.

You're like, "No," you know,

"This--this isn't gonna happen."

Everybody deserves to have someone

who loves them unconditionally

and just thinks the world of them.

Like, that's--that's what you--

you get to do in this position.

And I feel so lucky to be able to do that.

But at the same time, you know,

you have all these other aspects of your life.

Pat and Erik have been great at school,

'cause they've definitely stepped in at times

and been like, "You can't do this.

You can't take this all on yourself."

And--

But then my answer always is, "But who's going to?

Like, who's gonna do it?"

Like--like, it's not fair.

Like, someone has to-- has to care about 'em.

Someone has to be that person, so.

It's something I got to work on.

[school bell ringing distantly]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- So one of the biggest questions kids

are asking me right now and freaking out about

is whether their cell phone's gonna work

while they're up there.

And "How far can we ride on the bus before it's gonna die?"

And I keep telling them,

"You'll survive without a cell phone!

We did for years."

- Shelly was telling me that there's gonna be, like, games,

and tug-of-war, and stuff like that,

so I'm excited to get away from town.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- I didn't bring a pillow. - I didn't bring shit.

- Whoo!

- We'll call this one Hufflepuff!

- Nope, this is Slytherin, bitch.

- I was actually putting straw--

strawberries around the cabin--

see if I could bring in the bear tonight,

keep people from leaving the cabins.

[laughter]

- So good morning, you guys.

I'm super psyched about who's here today.

So--so here's what makes it work.

This weekend, we're gonna set up scenario

after scenario that's gonna push you just a little bit

out of your comfort zones, okay?

Participate. Like, just try it.

And if we can get the whole group of you to flap your wings

and bark like a chicken together,

there's comradery in being dumb together,

and being embarrassing together.

And so that's the challenge

I'm gonna throw out for you guys this weekend.

[kids shouting indistinctly]

- Why didn't we move?

- So we just grab a handful? Just like--

- Yeah, just, like, grab a handful.

- So red is things you're passionate about.

Green are things about your family.

Orange, your pet peeves.

Purple, your strengths.

And yellow, your greatest fears.

So who wants to start?

- Ah, okay.

- Um, so, I'm gonna do yellow.

One of my greatest fears--

not that many people know this about me,

but one of my greatest fears is,

I guess, ending up alone--

like, never finding anybody to love.

I don't know why that's my greatest fear,

but it is.

[laughter]

- One of my greatest fears, really,

is actually seeing my dad,

who I've never met and never known--

is seeing him, actually,

in the future, or just out of nowhere.

- One of my greatest fears is losing my mom

during one of her surgeries.

- One of my pet peeves is seeing people, like,

downtown judge Lincoln kids without knowing who they are.

And they'll do like, a little--

shake their head or something,

and I--drives me crazy.

I just want to be like, "Really?

"You ever walked--you ever walked in this kid's shoes

"and know what his life is like?

"Really?

"You don't have to shake your head.

You don't have to shake your head."

- My--my biggest fear

is just being rejected by the whole world.

Just--not given the chance to see who I am--

just rejected.

- Uh, one of my fears is--

is probably my younger sister.

She's 12.

And hopefully she will not have

to experience what I went through when I was seven,

and that was somebody molested me when I was seven.

So my greatest fear is that I hope it doesn't happen

to my younger sister, or a daughter of mine,

when I have kids, so.

- My biggest fear...

is losing Gustavo,

because for once,

I found a--

a guy who I'm not afraid of.

When I walk down the street and I see a man,

I'm afraid he's gonna touch me.

And that's why I go everywhere with him.

I'm sorry I'm crying.

- It's okay.

- But I clench to his side so much,

because I'm scared of every man I meet.

[sniffles]

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Patience.

- I honestly was so afraid to open up,

but almost everyone in the cabin I was in

when we were doing the Skittles

came up to me later

and said that they were molested also.

It kind of broke my heart in a way,

but it made me feel like I wasn't alone.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- Oh, yeah, you should actually cut that out.

[laughter]

- You learn how to ride a bike,

and you'll remember how to ride the bike.

But that doesn't necessarily mean

that you'll always ride the bike well.

And you still can, like, eat shit.

Here and here.

- Yeah, I--I understand. - It, like, fell out.

- I was pretty much just talking the talk.

[both laugh]

- I do that sometimes.

- The behavior isn't the kid.

The behavior is--is a symptom

of what's going on in their life.

Behavior isn't about me.

In some ways, the behavior's not even

about the kid, you know?

And you can forgive, and work on it,

like modeling a good, normal, healthy relationship.

- I sent him a text back

saying, you know, "You're human.

"You're one of my most favorite humans on this planet,

"and I'm not going anywhere.

And let's talk when you're ready to talk."

[laughter, cheers, and applause]

- October cheerleading tryouts.

[cheers and applause]

[laughter, cheers, and applause]

[laughter and cheering fades]

[fire crackling]

- Well, most of you guys

might not know this,

but I surf...

couches and whatnot.

And, uh,

I might not have had the best upbringing, necessarily.

I mean, things kind of went downhill a little bit.

I got into some nasty habits and whatnot.

But I had people there to help me through said nasty habits.

And I don't feel like I would've had that help

if I hadn't ended up going to Lincoln.

It took me a long time to finally realize that there's--

there's more to life than--

than just the here and now,

and that you really get

to make a choice as to what your future looks like.

I mean, I'm a--

I'm a fucking scumbag, dude.

Most of the time,

I'm not that great of a role model and whatnot.

But I got accepted into the colleges

that I want to go to.

I'm gonna do it.

And I feel like, if I can do it,

all of you can definitely do it.

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]

- Want me to pin yours on?

- Yeah. Oops.

- Ow, ow! Ow! - After I actually get--

- I promise, we're gonna be home by 9:00.

- Are these for staff from the--the kids?

- In the--in the morning.

- In the morning.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- I see our system really judging kids

on their outward appearance,

and how they react and behave,

versus trying to find out what the cause is.

It's the pain

that these kids carry within themselves.

You know, it would be easy to take the route--

just let 'em fight, suspend 'em,

and get 'em out of here.

I mean, that would be the easy way out.

- [laughs]

- But through our experience,

we know that if you seek the cause

and give the student self-worth,

then you--you-- you can get to that point

where that behavior starts to change.

[cheers and applause]

- Everything these kids

have to go through to get here--

I'm blown away that these kids get up and come every day

and are willing to engage with us.

[cheers and applause]

Why do some of them make it,

and why do some of them not?

I like to think that I got to contribute

to some of those kids that make it--

that they had that one, or two,

or three people in their life that didn't give up on 'em.

[cheers and applause]

- I'm Jim Sporleder,

principal of Lincoln High School,

and I would like--

[cheers and applause]

Never would've guessed that we would be where we are today.

[cheers and applause]

Please help me honor all those

that have helped this journey happen.

[cheers and applause]

The beauty about ACEs is, though the outcomes

are incredibly accurate and predictable

with no interventions,

there's tremendous hope with interventions.

[cheers and applause]

- Eternity, way to go.

It wasn't until she'd already become

a leader on ASB

that she had this crazy story

of previous life experience being picked on,

and silent,

and everything that did not make sense in my head

from this woman that was in my class.

There's a reason that she's walking out of here

with help holding the stack

of awards and accolades

for the work that she's done here.

- I'd like to introduce Steven Garduno.

[cheers and applause]

His four-year journey through high school--

he's had a lot of twists and turns.

It hasn't always been easy.

And I think he'll be the first to admit that.

And here we are, senior-year English class,

Steven's the guy who's causing me

to argue with myself on the story in English class.

He's engaged me at a level

that I haven't been to for a while.

And he's gonna go to a four-year college.

And he'll be challenged there,

but he knows he always has us for backup.

Steven Garduno.

[cheers and applause]

- It's my pleasure to introduce Mr. Aron Wulf.

[cheers and applause]

Today, Lincoln graduates a young man

that is talented in music, art, and theater.

He'll look you in the eye, and speak with confidence.

I have greatly valued the conversations

that I've had with Aron about life,

what it means to be a human being,

what it means to interact with other people.

Aron, I am absolutely looking forward

to seeing where life takes you,

because you're gonna change the world.

Congratulations.

[cheers and applause]

- My greatest announcement

is to welcome the Class of 2013.

[cheers and applause]

- The transformation at Lincoln is because my staff's done

some incredible things there with our kids.

- One, two, three.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Nonjudgmental,

loving them unconditionally,

wrapping in support,

and then teaching them--

these are the people that teach you the resiliency,

and to become the person that you were meant to be.

- Whoo!

[triumphant music]

*

[soothing music]

*

[uplifting music]

*

[peaceful music]

*