Original subtitles

good evening ladies and gentlemen we are

the dangerous

Brothers Dangerous Brothers my name

you're

out do the talk my he will do the

talking my name is Richard

dangerus and this is Sir Adrian

dangerous unusually dangerous I trust

you'll agree yes we are in danger land

so without further Ado ladies and

Gentlemen let's wet our danger buds as

Sir Adrien teases us with some unusually

dangerous bicycling sir Adrien I have

got no price no noice noice

noice are you all right sir Adrien no

indestructible I think I'm blacking my

neck get up moving stly along get up get

up get up can't get up get up or I'll Fu

you D

just I'm up I'm

up it's just a joke

and now bait your breath ladies and

gentlemen for part two of tonight's

World of danger as we take you on a

murky trip through the Twilight world of

Dante's Towering

Inferno aha Towering Inferno Marcel the

petrol shut up and get on the chair shut

up and get on the chair shut up and get

on the chair shut up and get on the

ja shut up and get on the chair shut

up now you keep quiet while I set fire

to you yes everybody keep quiet but is

it fire to

me ladies and gentlemen my impression of

Dante's classic film The Towering

Inferno music please

I might advise viewers at home not to

try this trick as it invariably ends in

death this is why seran dangerous has

been

volunteered try and look like a hotel

For Heaven's

Sake going

up and now the moment of trck

it's

revolting that's not me what have you

been

eating doggy

do doggy

do yeah I did it for a

bet a bet yeah I

thought I bet that tastes

disgusting

did but it's absolutely repulsive it's

also a serious fire hazard

look

bastard

blood W yeah

um Can you spot what went

wrong yes that's right I should never

have allowed my partner to pour petrol

all over me and then set me on fire what

a what I should have done wa wait wait

wait wait wait wait what are you talking

about I'm just talking to the paper shut

up excuse me just

one excuse

it's gone oh good right

well things seem to be going very

swimmingly

um

well let's look at the video of me

recording my new hit single

that the

piano sh and come for the climax climax

climax

right and now is deand the climax of

tonight's entertainment where the lovely

pings are Ag and dangerous will H

himself deliberately off the Apex of

this strange and interesting office

off the top the to yes off the

top tapping on every window tapping on

every window saying hello cutie every

secretary I pass on my descent of F and

saying hello secret hello

what we are actually in dang this is the

flight part to hro

airport are you ready I am ready one

last Shake of the hand old friend

you mess this up and I'll kill your

buy you kill my bodyy and I'll pull your

head off you pull my head off and I'll

go to the newspapers about your strange

problem you w't about to find the news

Pipers were you because you w't have a

head well I shouldn't think you be very

good at pulling people's heads off

anyway in the first place if you just H

yourself up this traed interesting

office building well I might pay someone

to do it my wait what I look after the

money keep be staling money of Me

no

no well I you bit and hardly killed

anyone anyway I wouldn't have to pay a

Hitman to kill you would I because I

could Grant him sexual favors sexual

favors like what strawberry lime and

grapefruit that's sexual fers I meant

fers

you hello Mr Hitman if you pull off the

head of Richard dangerous I will promise

never ever ever to get into your bed and

do squidgy things with

you all right then I won't kill you bu

okay I won't pull off your head all

right good luck fora one small stess is

one giant Le for Richard bank

account nothing charity job I just have

to take this opportunity to say a few

words about the people who have been

influential in my career

there he goes ladies and gentlemen I'm

Fring my

ankle well that's just about it ladies

and gentlemen for another week tune in

next

week tune in next week when s Andrian

Jun in next week when San will eat a

grand piano sounds easy H not

with when you realize that this piano

he's going to eat next week is going to

be on fire so tune in next week ladies

and gentlemen that camera down here

shoting next week ladies and gentlemen

get the camera

down I F on the whole and there's only

four stop it stop it stop stop that

man stop

behind it stop it stop it stop that

good evening ladies and gentlemen we are

the dangerous Brothers Dangerous

Brothers my name is Richard dangerous

and this is Sir Adrian dangerous and

this is

V now this may look like like an

ordinary

window but

no it is in

fact not an ordinary window after all

get a doctor it is in fact an in

ordinary window I'm serious this time

get me to a hospital I've gone too far

will you stop

showing yes ladies and gentlemen yes

this week the talented and curvy sir

Adrien will travel not only through this

window but also through this window

through this hoop of

fire through this brick wall and into

this bucket of

petrol I beg your pardon but

first fun with

electricity always a great laugh ladies

and gentlemen hey kides try and make one

of your relatives do the silly Wiggly

dance disgusting that's all right for

you I'm standing in the

epicenter keep them

laughing keep them laughing H keep on

laughing um haha H now

then there was a young woman from uh

knockers who who had an enormous pair of

breasts one was a

Whopper one was a jumbly

wobbly and the other one was an enormous

great big golden Bozo that's

great I know I know uh I haven't

finished

yet mess mess No

Mess ah serrian nice to see you nice to

be seen fun with elect no fun with

electricity moving swiftly

along and moving slowly

along and moving stupidly

along moving sexily along

we move ladies and gentlemen we always

find ourselves next to

this it's a bloody Canon it's a bloody

Cannon fantastic can I ever a go no you

can't yes ladies and gentlemen because

sadrian is going to be fired from this

Canon through this

window all right who said you could fire

the

cannon nobody well don't

so it's a bloody fight you want is it

yes ladies and gentlemen yes this week

the dangerous brothers are Pride to

presentent for you sir Adrian the human

Cannonball but a human cannonball with a

difference because this Cannonball will

be on

fire careful careful careful careful in

the canon in the can he's on his rocket

you

know off my rocket in

the get in the

get an air

freser there no time there's no time in

the

cannon

the right ladies and gentlemen it just

remains for me to pour in the

petrol

hello like the

m throw it

in lower the

trajectory light the

fuse and stand well back in a safe

position wow there he goes ladies and

gentlemen through

the yeah bastard get out of there out of

get out of

there come on come on there he goes

ladies and gentlemen there he goes

through the

window through the other

window through the hoop of fire the hoop

of

fire through the brick wall brick

W the wall

break

wall fantastic evening thank you and

good

night good evening ladies and gentlemen

we are the dangerous

Brothers dous

brothers and tonight we'd like to

present for you an evening of

torture torture yes ladies and gentlemen

tonight for your Delight sir Adrien will

personally withstand every form of

torture known to

man don't worry about

it don't worry about it so if you'd like

to go away and prepare

yourself ha go away and prepare myself

not to worry about it then we'll

begin

torture who gets involved

torture is it as much fun as it's

cracked up to be I will not worry about

it where does it come from where does it

go

to does it really hurt yes it bloody

does secret safely concealed behind this

door Abandon All Faith ye who hope

here do any chilia these

days sorry I took so long but I'm death

thank you very much

jila well

you think it's funny do you well get

your laughing gear on

this yes ladies and gentlemen here we

are at last in the world of

danger the very smell of the

place all right who's farted

Excuse

me

yes the screams of the Damned mingle

with the with the with with the cries of

of of the vegetable sellers of of London

Town no they don't that's wrong damn

damn damn anyway good evening ladies and

gentlemen and welcome to a very very

dangerous World indeed

C yes

T taking it a bit seriously isn't

it everybody shut up welcome to the

dangerous brother's world of

danger my bloody knees come

out well get on with it you wouldn't say

that if it was your bloody knee what

would I say you'd say ow my bloody knees

come out what have you hurt your knee

help me fix my knee fix it how just give

it a bit of a tap a bit of a

tap from me

sorry I get in the chair I will now get

in the

chair and now serrian is firmly secured

I will hand him this piece of paper

which contains a sentence which sir

Adrian will read memorize and then I

will attempt to torture out of him

remember I have never seen this sentence

before in my life soam will you confirm

that I've never seen it before

ever it's in your

handwriting I will not talk right no no

no I haven't started yet okay music

only many forms of torture I could

employ ladies and gentlemen to get the

information at obser avian let's go

torture my thumb

screw I will not talk or torture by

nipple

scre not to or for to my ordinary

household

blender I will not talk I to my breed

hot genital Peach I'm Waring you I will

not talk

talk not

Sur stop you think I'm enjoying this yes

I do quite frankly shut

up and now ladies and gentlemen torture

by female dog no no that a

[ __ ] going for a more traditional field

ladies and gentlemen going for the

Oriental

flavor Chinese water

torture

blip ah sir BP now this normally takes

about 5 years ladies and gentlemen so

here is a victim we prepared before the

show began bring in Arnold I'll tell you

anything three I'll tell you anything

these

three thank you arold old hat thank you

Richard and now a a much more

fashionable and much more effective

torture these days ladies and gentlemen

is of course torture by

electricity was a surprise kick in the

goalies surprises do you well get this

for a

shocker surprise increase in voltage

got that for a surprise better

re I will not

talk so you want to play dirty do you

yes I do but I think we better finish

the show first okay don't you asked for

it ladies and gentlemen my piece of

resistance ladies and gentlemen torture

by

ironing torture by what torture by

ironing I will not talk Jen bring in the

iron

hey Richard no shut up shut up now

listen not quiet honestly they're going

to get a huge shock when we burst

through these paper doors because they

probably think they're real don't they

no they've given the whole game away

right can you see properly no then let's

go good evening ladies and gentlemen we

are the dangerous brother dangerous

brother my name is Richard dangerous and

this is Sir asan dangerous D down the BS

explodo

incredibly dangerous I trust you'll

agree and this week ladies and gentlemen

this week it's

undertaking under

what

undertaking seriously this week what we

like to do wait a

minute what you doing that for I was

Bloody lucky hit me in the head it was

just a bit

of it was just a bit of fun for us

kiddies that a advise you not to try it

at home because it hurts like

buggery

now you stop talking to the children

wait wait nobody but nobody slaps Adrian

about the face oh yeah oh yeah all right

then get

this a lot of people scrunch me in the D

youie

of right start again start again start

again start again done again come on

come on quickly quickly hold my piece of

paper and gentlemen we are the dangerous

brother dangerous brother my name is

Richard dangerous and this is Saran

dangerous what

again Adrian

dangerous go my

D exploder

in calcul be stupid I trust you'll agree

and this week ladies and gentlemen this

week

nothing the thing about this week is

that this week ladies and gentlemen this

week there is

nothing

nothing they're not going to buy that

are they shut up shut up we got the

money didn't we how much did you yeah

uh 16 and a half P that's quite a good

week

then what are you doing who turn the

television off uh I don't know uh it's

got nothing to do with me um I'm just

the assistant in fact he is the boss

that's right that's right what are you

doing nothing that's exactly my

point that's exactly my point what do

you think fantastic keep him talking

don't you think you ought to be doing

something exactly my point again hoist

wi and leotard what are you talking

about

nothing J surrender now will give me

£5 God death look it's the sheet for

this week dangerous Brothers in

dangerous crocodile snuggy no crocodiles

no crocodiles this

week bloody difficult to find a

crocodile around here especially when

that's prepared to snog with me yeah

have you ever tried finding a gay

crocodile yeah you ever seen a happy

crocodile SP go off look I just want to

get one thing

straight that's straight the for you

bastard the rest of you Nobody messes

with that dangerous brothers except from

me

what what you got down

there my

testicles good evening ladies and

gentlemen as you've just been informed

so kindly this week ladies and gentlemen

this week it's crocodile

snuggy crocodile snug we haven't got a

Croc

cocodile crocodile snugging I know we

haven't got a

crocodile crocodile

snug what are I going to do

then crocodile snog

in you're going to have to disguise

yourself as a crocodile and I'll snog

with

you I don't try that one

again a lot of people out there a lot of

people paid a lot of money and want to

see a lot of crocodile s

do you please just grow up disguise

yourself as a crocodile and make it

snappy snap snap snap okay

music ladies and gentlemen the dangerous

brothers would like to present for you

dangerous crocodile Snogging [ __ ] her up

baby here I come

how was it for you

baby so there you have it ladies and

gentlemen dangerous crocodile Snogging

tune in next week when

seran shut up shut up tune in next week

when s will you stop touching my button

when I'm talking Richard there is a live

crocodile in the studio I am going home

now good

night fine tune in next week ladies and

gentlemen when Adrian will attempt to

swallow a working chainsaw sounds like

something to Che in for so it just

remains for me to say there is a live

crocodile in the

studio fetch the zra fetch the

zra Ze

zra Here Comes Ze

here

zebra what hell

Winnie Winnie I'm a

zra good morning ladies and gentlemen we

are good morning ladies and gentlemen we

are the dangerous Brothers unusually

early this week but shut up shut up go

away go

away and usually early this week but as

always a hearty welcome you go away

as always a hearty welcome are one and

all you haven't got your trousers

on St be ridiculous

Arabian of course I've got my trousers

on oh prove

it well if I didn't have my Tres on I

wouldn't do this would

I

sett as always ladies and gentlemen a

hearty welcome to one and all

particularly the children

excuse me I'm ni

G and here's one for the kitties kitties

what do you say to a blind lesbian dwarf

who's just been caught in a public

laboratory with a huge marrow round

excuse me a moment ladies and gentlemen

ow ow ow give me the crossbow give me

the

crossbow Jack

upen there's a lot of people out there

let's give them a good show let's do the

show I'm with you go good morning ladies

and gentlemen we are the dangerous

brother dangerous brother my name is

Richard dangerous and this is Sir Adrian

dangerous sir Adrian

dangerous we do something

dangerous unusually dangerous I trust

you'll agree and this week ladies and

gentlemen the dangerous brothers are

proud to present for you flying

zebras flying zebras sadrian prepare the

zebra okay okay now as you all know

usually zebras cannot fly but on our

many travels particularly through the

rainforests of Patagonia what is it

zebra is on

fire what your trousers have Set Fire to

the

zebra oh my God put it out put it out

put the zebra out okay come on zebra

have to

go throw some water over it throw some

water

over oh my God it's going to

explode get out the way get out of the

way oh

no an exploding zebra I find that very

difficult to

believe you're right how' you know about

that well I was the one that booby

trapped

it wait a moment I was supposed to ride

around on that a bit later uh yeah well

well never mind about all that m out

there's only one thing for it you'll

have to pretend to be the zebra good

thinking back in a

moment no no no pretend to be a zebra oh

a zebra I thought you said Leonard

Parkin Park

okay no stop that stop it what's the

matter you're getting a stiff a

try telling that to Leonard

parking excuse me exactly what are you

doing I'm disguising you as a zebra CH

man J

Man B there's a camera in here there's a

camera in the

kitchen get out get

out right you pretend to be a zebra get

in the Catapult and when I shout zebra

Cut the Rope ugly ly

right yes ladies and gentlemen just

check the zebra's flight path yes

everything is ready ladies and gentlemen

now live on television for the first

time ever the dangerous Brothers present

flying

zebras flying zebras there they

go flying

zebras ready when you are I use the B

cord well do want to get J building

ladies and gentlemen flying

zebras and that's uh that's it is it

yeah thank you and good

night I B you can see our living room

from here

he's not here

good evening ladies and gentlemen we are

the dangerous brother dangerous brother

my name is Richard dangerous and this is

sadrian

dangerous going to be stupid I trust

you'll agree and this evening ladies and

gentlemen for my first trick

H where do explosives over there well go

and put them on ha I will now put on my

explosive on

on and tonight ladies and gentlemen for

you my own public I would like to

attempt a very dangerous stunt I would

like to attempt to become the 41st

president of the United States of

America so I won't be needing this

anymore at come

and so Ladi and gent I've got the

explosives well take them off what you

mean what about the human bomb

impression it's being cancelled well why

didn't you tell me before because I'm a

total

bastard yeah I see what you mean now get

rid of the explosive don't a skip don't

do that come make a bloody mind look

Adrien I am trying to become I'm the

president of the United States and I've

only got 2 minutes so we you please stop

wasting

time sorry that's okay shake hands

yes now shake hands properly sadrian

shake hands properly for our audience

come along don't be

scared there

and so to the election ladies and

gentlemen I would like to become the

president and my lovely assistant s

Adrian would like to attempt to become

the first lady hey Richard you better

watch out walking around with your flies

undone your chicken might fall out for

everyone to see but sir Adrian it

already

has it's better to say

[ __ ] ladies and gentlemen the election

of May H [ __ ] you better watch out

walking around with your chicken undone

your boys might fall out for everyone to

see and so to the election ladies and

gentlemen okay

right I still don't get

it and so to the election ladies and

gentlemen now obviously with only 2

minutes left for this dangerous stunt of

electing me as the President of the

United States there isn't time for you

all to get out to the polling Booth so

what I suggest is that you register your

vote through the television and when was

all this thought

up oh excuse

me so ladies and gentlemen everyone who

wants to vote for me to become the 41st

president of the USA simply switch off

your television sets for 15 seconds

starting now okay Frank Hit the

Lights Frank Frank switch the lights

off what's going on Qui you'll give the

game away I think I've gone blind ch ch

who cares I

do go and check out the elections going

okay if someone put the bloody light

shut

up God they bloody mins everywhere

what are they doing uh nothing much some

of them are just sort of sitting there

and crying a

bit you see that one

there 15 seconds

go ladies and gentlemen I am now the

41st president of the United States of

America ha

me hello napy gobble gobble

gobble that's it is

it yeah thank

you well it wasn't very dangerous was it

you made me turn the lights

out I'll pep it up a bit ladies and

gentlemen the dangerous brothers would

like to present for you exploding

politicians

no away

away to

R oh god look up there

wake up

okay

go good evening well we've all got one

thing in common haven't we that's right

it's Saturday night but it's not only

Saturday night it's also Wednesday

night I sorry I don't know why I said

that cuz you're stupid that's why shut

up sorry yeah can I start again please

no I'm really sorry we just haven't got

the time well then I hope you

die anyway sorry heavy

lunch Saturday night some of us are out

at the pubs which are closing sadly many

of us are with our sweethearts and quite

naturally enough many of our thoughts

are turning to H

Sprouts sex is a thing that people do

while they're trying to get to

sleep uh excuse me a

moment will somebody please explain to

me exactly what the bloody hell is going

on

okay how that H I can't

you are completely unpredictable these

days but you w fire shut up go away get

off my stage go on go

on I'm sorry about that ladies and

gentlemen wait

yes

sex tonight ladies and gentlemen the

dangerous

brothers are proud to present a

demonstrational piece entitled how to

get off with a

lady or as I say in Australia how to get

off with a

lady here for example is a is a a young

couple

on their first date let's see how they

get down to doing

it now yes go go

okay what's your

name s new to

Harris is that your real name

no

oh what's your real name

then it's

Clive H well

Clive you fcy a quick one

yes bloody

hell hey you pick up with

me it's straight to the bedroom

here is a reconstruction of of a bedroom

which looks exactly like a bedroom come

on get on do it I want to watch want a

get uh

foreplay would you like a

cigarette no thank

you

um right then uh should we get straight

down to it yes come on then treat me

ru F hell it's happening gra IB a p ofus

please bloody out wait a minute I

haven't got my pants off

yet H I forgot to D rig the Burglar

Alarm God that was fantastic and now I'm

pregnant what do you mean Ione touched

you yet yeah well you try telling that

to the judgeing court yes yeah what's

the rudest thing I can say on television

bloody big jum all right you try that J

CAU you bloody FY big

jobs all right all right who said bloody

FY big job you did did I right then I'm

nicked

oh just about wraps it up again for

another dangerous week ladies and

gentlemen yes thank you good night yeah

shoot shoot Sho Sho excuse me but I'm a

seriously pregnant woman and if either

you or Channel 4 think what happened

there was at all amusing or entertaining

there's going to be big trouble do you

understand huh

right pardon us for

breakast this is getting Beyond a joke I

don't think it's got that far yet do

something funny quickly something funny

okay

that was a close

one I need close

actually back on

target forget it well that's about it

for tonight's entertainment ladies and

gentlemen we were going to do something

Sensational with a couple of pianos but

I'm afraid we're going to have to drop

that now okay uh drop the

Pian Mrs Ray Looney we are your

babysitter yeah you got a baby we'll sit

on it my name is wit babysitter and this

this is sadrian babysitter ha bab

sitters yes that's okay then but there

must be some mistake we booked somebody

called uh Jennifer that's us matey we

are Jennifer our traing name excuse me a

moment n Oh what now sex pants just a

quick one before the theater is that

surpris if the CL was such a puby over

no no listen darling darling there's a

couple of psychotics outside claiming to

be

babysitters darling take him look after

Rosemary yeah

darling hello my name's Sylvia ah Mr

L salty

babysitter what Sal

baby cabinet which is locked please

don't try and get into it that's a

kitchen please don't go in there and

please try not to sit on any of the

furniture that's a television I'd rather

you didn't watch it at all or listen to

any records right we'll be back about

midnight h have fun and please try not

to make a mess W another Saucy

babysitter

what are you

here try not to make a

mess how are we doing another four hours

to

go oh God I

can't don't touch the furniture remember

what we said we're going to earn some

proper money for a change proper legal

money

oh

God get some cotype huh get some cotype

get some C time C time C time the

kitchen kitchen kitchen

we're not allowed in the kitchen no just

go in I'll keep a lookout but you've got

to be very very quiet very quiet

God oh

God what was

that I just farted give me the

okay thank you great now let's move FL

table oh

god oh

baby don't worry I'm very good with

children

what do you

think no one will ever know

terrific let's have a drink ah the uh

drinks cabinet is locked not for long

NAU nothing but

nice now they're going to notice that

aren't they no no they're not because

I'm going to turn the cabinet against

the

wall brilliant let me okay

skip no t t back a little bit early for

me I know what you

mean andic but of course

large one

naturally

tach

Lem I need that one I PE

it there you go sweetheart aha than go

duck this is the

life oh dear

brilliant

cheers there's just one thing that

bothers me

yes supposing someone

says oh Roger

why don't we take this expensive vase of

flowers and place it over here on the

coffee

table see they're going to spot it then

aren't they yes they are yes there's

only one thing for it we'll have to

Blind everyone that comes into the

house yes or option two we could replace

the pain of glass from the coffee table

with a pane of glass from elsewhere

perhaps a window

I can see your point can you sorry

correct me what you're suggesting is

that we take a pane of glass from the

window and place it on top of the coffee

table correct

brilliant

right ready ready

that was such a great idea after all

really was

he get your face

ready I'll deal with this this

time hello

Rosemary oh God

give let that be a lesson to

you come on get out of the way I'll do

it I'll do it what you're braak I want

break it get out the

way look I'll go outside to the garden

and push it in from there you wait

inside and when it comes through catch

it okay I'm

do

mate young Sunny

Jim follow me lad ready ready right here

I

come why did you catch it what you mean

catch it you can't through the own

window you stood by the WR bloody window

it's a look look it doesn't matter we

still got one pain left

correct why didn't you catch that

one I caught a bit of it look at the

mess in this place what are we going to

do it's being

burgled it's been burgled in fact burgle

it burgle it on

yourself got off the

B you stupid

idiot just went off in me anger

mother I'm home well turn the wireless

on dear and we can do the flower

arranging

dance take your roses one by one

we are the dangerous brother we the

dangerous brother my name is witchard

dangerous and this is Lady Adrian

dangerous he's got nothing in his TR but

um you've been

banned oh fair enough yeah fair

enough oh bloody we'll have to start

again come

mother I'm home we turn the wirers on

and we can do the flower arranging

dance take

youres we been out

and my name is witard benon and this is

Lady Asian

benon that is Bri

who my name good night

you've

interrupted you've interrupted our

flower arranging dance exactly bum

fight oops I wonder if the Liberals in

the audience got that one typically

benelton I think you'll agree you are

not the benelton brothers you are the

dangerous Brothers you have ruined an

extremely funny flower ranging set

you've been banned because you're too

sexy and tooo violent and if you don't

get out we'll arrange you a bloody we

arrange do in a MAG moment B hold me

back hold me back hold me

back Saturday live ever since the

dangerous Brothers got banned not the

word admitting to being the dangerous

brothers are we D no

bigles get sexy that's what the p is

want is it you are more sex and more

violence J 15 primary school children

can't be wrong get

sexy no no

no sexy get sexy sexy sadrian

demonstrate sex giggle giggle giggle

SL

yeah all right that's more like it

music now get violen

SE now VI

viol this is pathetic we might as well

do it ourselves camera number seven

please thank you very much what's going

on stay tuned for some seriously

dangerous television later on you the

punchline and make it violently sexy you

can't take that we need

it Mr mro had piles of money not

hemorrhoids

Jo silence and now ladies and gentlemen

as a final tribute to Saturday live lady

Adrien and myself would like to remove

our

genitals P

technically are you ready lady Adrian

goodbye genitals going right down the

trases explod

out hey why

that good evening ladies and gentlemen

this is the carbar outside London

weekend television and you're watching

danger Vision danger Vision yes danger

Vision we control the

horizontal we control the

vertical and we control our PS

yeah this is danger Vision which brings

you soap

opera danger Vision which brings you

Sport come

on danger Vision brings you Romance

and vision of course brings you comedy

here's one for the moms and

dads for executive who accidentally left

his car outside in the

car get this car c

202 this is our car this is our car

yes ladies and gentlemen as you know the

dangerous Brothers have been banned from

LWT for being too sexy and too violent

well ladies and gentlemen tonight danger

Vision brings you for the first time on

British television the most sexy and the

most violent item ever seen on British

television San get sexcess I will now

remove my puns

contact

I'm

home I'm home unexpectedly

early excellent no one's

home sex city here I come

oh no he's come home

early oh God I'm

stuck oh God oh

God BL me baby it's hot in here why

don't you take off all your clothes and

lie down for a bit yeah that ought to

work just put on some kinky background

music

ret rard

go away there there's nobody here oh God

oh God please go don't come

in what's all the furniture doing over

here

uh the house tipped up I beg your pardon

the the house it it just tipped up what

do you mean tipped up it just it just

tipped up didn't it well I find that

rather hard to believe yeah well you

weren't here were you you were off

gallivanting around the countryside W

with all your mates at the dwarves

convention why aren't you at the dwarf's

convention uh well um I was unable to

get in uh to the convention uh on

account of their saying I was too

tall and why aren't you at work

ah um um I'm

Ill we the

try is that why you're wearing a nurse's

hat I'm not wearing a nurse's hat yes

you are no look go away you've got to go

away You're tiring me I need complete

rest why are you wearing this nurse's

hat ah uh that nurse's hat yes

well I I must have fallen into it when

the house tipped up I never heard of a

house tipping up yeah well it bloody

well does in Star Trek Star Trek's a

spaceship isn't it it's not a house it's

not really a spaceship they film it in a

house do they yeah

bastards so uh you're really ill are

you

yes right

well get this

then God

God what are you doing I thought you

might want to watch television no thank

you

no that enough no no no rich rich no I'm

not here I'm not I'm getting better I'm

getting a lot better really gosh I feel

like going jogging now I'm so much

better now don't like

I wonder who that can be H it's uh

probably some friends of mine uh dwarves

uh unfortunate dwarves like myself uh

who were too tall to get into the proper

dwarves convention so we thought we'd

have our own tall dwarves convention in

the living room privately I hope you get

better soon

there's no one

here after that there isn't much of a

door come

in get out get out but you haven't paid

me yet well you haven't done anything to

me yet you've been in the bloody

cupboard all

afternoon who's that

who's

what who's that you just pushed out of

the window um that was the uh the doctor

oh yeah and why' you push him out of the

window uh because he was the Flying

doctor fair

enough um just one more thing yes why

are you wearing a rubber Latex nurse's

uniform

uh um because I am the doctor's

assistant really well it's not very

assisting to push the doctor out of the

window is it no in my considered opinion

I would say there was something a bit

more like hampering which just goes to

show how much you know about the medical

profession oh yeah well shall I tell you

what I think no I think you've

handcuffed yourself to the lighting

fitment whilst this unconscious

prostitute they wait for you in the

wardrobe ready to emerge at a given

signal to beat you for money what a

perverted little mind you must

have I wonder who that can be it's

probably the dwares you stay

here I want to see the dwarves show me

the dwarves I want to see the

dwarves

hello we've got the cream do you want it

messy or

clean will this soapa stay not bad and

these are the Wes are

they

uh yes H these are the smle brothers uh

that's uh Dennis and

uh Tim and God I've forgotten his name

my name is Martin yes oh yes that's

Martin he's the girl of the family I

think there's probably been a little

problem here isn't there bit of a mixup

we're not dwarves at all we're cool girl

prostitutes booked by a certain sir

Adrian

dangerous God yes we're here for an

afternoon of romance and

bondage

really happy birthday

Richard happy birthday

oh happy birthday oh I see oh well in

that case I think we should let bygones

be bygones so Adrian fetch my surgical

gloves Right girls this could be are you

making a film in here uh no no this is

strictly a private Arrangement yeah what

do you think we are pervy what are all

those cameras

then oh god

um good afternoon ladies and gentlemen

we are the dangerous Brothers ha

dangerous Brothers my name is Richard

dangerous and this is Sir Adrian

dangerous haha sir Adrian

dangerous thank you and this week ladies

and gentlemen well this afternoon it's

uh oh God oh God it's

uh competition time ha it's what

competition time uh although this may

look on the surface like a sworded

sexual diance yes that's certainly what

it looks like it is in fact a play it's

all a play that we have constructed for

you the viewers containing all the

elements of excitement romance theater a

sweaty nurse a sweaty nurse yes thank

you very

much so that you the viewer have the

opportunity to write your own ending to

a television

play write your own ending to a

television BL yes viewers simply phone

in now with your desired ending D yeah

and we're not talking about your knobs

no we're not talking about your knobs

simply phone in now

viewers bloody hell that was

quick it's a Mrs Henderson from Strath

Clyde Mrs Henderson from Strath Clyde

hello Mrs Henderson and what is your

desired

ending I find that rather hard to

believe

very funny indeed Mrs Henderson and your

prize is an evening of unparalleled

intimacy with the dangerous brothers so

Adrian have you got the chainsaw

certainly have right we'll be around in

half an hour Hy

a