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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:02,036 * 2 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:02,336 ** 3 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:06,140 [ applause ] 4 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,175 >> hey, did I tell you guys my 5 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:09,577 New year's resolution yet? 6 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:10,578 >> is it to keep dressing like a 7 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,579 Junior high school orchestra 8 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:15,316 Teacher? 9 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,317 [ laughter ] 10 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,352 >> ha ha ha. 11 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:22,323 No, danny. 12 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,325 It's to not let other people's 13 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,326 Words hurt me, and that is not 14 00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,395 Going great. 15 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:28,096 [ laughter ] 16 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,598 >> whoa, whoa. 17 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,600 Easy, booze face. 18 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,234 New year's resolution was to not 19 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:36,070 Drink so much wine. 20 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:36,637 >> this road you're heading 21 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,372 Down, does it feel safe? 22 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:49,217 [ laughter ] 23 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,651 >> last year's shelly's 24 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,387 Resolution 25 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:53,954 Was to get healthier, and he 26 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,456 Kind of crushed it. 27 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:58,226 >> and to celebrate, he wants to 28 00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,227 Burst through a poster of his 29 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,261 Older self like they do on "The 30 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:05,433 Biggest loser." 31 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:09,537 So, everybody, let's give a nice 32 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:12,306 Warm welcome for 100 pounds 33 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,641 Thinner, shelly! 34 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:17,345 [ applause ] 35 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:21,115 [ cheers and applause ] 36 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,516 >> well, I hope you guys more 37 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,252 Posters because I want to do 38 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,254 That all day. 39 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:31,659 >> wow, 100 pounds. 40 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:35,396 You lost an entire candace. 41 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,131 I put a picture of nicki minaj's 42 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,333 Butt on a treadmill and watched 43 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:43,471 Him chase it all year. 44 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,139 Snow matter what I do I look 45 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:47,308 Like one of these greek 46 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,709 Sculptures that those guys made. 47 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,344 You know one of those little 48 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,246 Staff us that always looks like 49 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:52,813 They're feeding someone you 50 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,450 Can't see, you know? 51 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,518 [ laughter ] 52 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,653 >> hello. 53 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:04,158 [ cheering ] 54 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:08,162 >> leather pants, coming in hot. 55 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:08,662 >> come on. 56 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,164 I told you not to borrow my 57 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,499 Leather pants. 58 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,132 Now the hips are going to be too 59 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,567 Big. 60 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:17,705 >> so is the crotch. 61 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,441 >> those pants are so cool. 62 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:25,213 You're like some sexy warrior 63 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,581 Princess with pants so tight 64 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,148 That I can see a pierce in a 65 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,583 Terrifying place. 66 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:30,218 >> that's actually a locket with 67 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:33,254 A picture of my grandma. 68 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,623 >> how sweet. 69 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,758 >> honey, it's not. 70 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,194 [ laughter ] 71 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,431 >> listen, would you like it if 72 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,600 I got some pants like that? 73 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,569 >> if you looked that hot it 74 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,538 Would make my day -- you didn't 75 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,307 Let me finish. 76 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:53,907 It would make my day terrible 77 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,508 Because I love you exactly the 78 00:02:54,508 --> 00:03:01,515 Way you are. 79 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,082 >> justin wishes that I was 80 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,285 Sexier. 81 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:04,918 That's going to be my new year's 82 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:08,489 Resolution. 83 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,490 We're taking charge. 84 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,292 Next thing you know I'm going to 85 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,526 Be like, bam, crazy sexy. 86 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,262 >> yeah, you go ahead and start 87 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,629 Whenever you're ready. 88 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,432 ** 89 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,767 ** 90 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:27,308 [ cheering ] 91 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,677 * I'll be there to catch the 92 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:35,849 Day. 93 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:36,384 I be there all the way * 94 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,586 * if you need a friend, I'm the 95 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:42,390 One who will give you love * 96 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,391 * more, more, more 97 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,057 * no matter where you go, you're 98 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:44,358 Not alone * 99 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:44,958 * I'll be there to catch the 100 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,158 Day * 101 00:03:45,158 --> 00:04:04,478 * I'm only one call away 102 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,547 ** 103 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:11,685 * I'm only one call away 104 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,286 * I'll be there to catch the 105 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:21,295 Day * 106 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:26,734 * I'm only one call away 107 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:31,872 * I'm only one call away 108 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,574 [ applause ] 109 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:40,714 [ cheering ] 110 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,717 >>> candace, being easy is sexy. 111 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,486 Have you got a sexy walk or 112 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,420 Something? 113 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,588 >> I don't know. 114 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,623 You tell me. 115 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,359 [ laughter ] 116 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,393 >> no. 117 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:56,730 No, you do not. 118 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,867 >> lucky for you danny's here. 119 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,603 Da, da, da, da! 120 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,572 I can do any boring move or 121 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,340 Anything mundane and turn that 122 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,541 Into the utmost sexiest thing 123 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:12,346 Ever, okay? 124 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,882 Take this for instance, making a 125 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,450 Text message. 126 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,452 Or maybe even eating a pretzel. 127 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,555 Oh, sorry, madam. 128 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,556 Oopsy daisy. 129 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,625 You know what? 130 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,729 Don't get me started when it 131 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:32,766 Comes to the bedroom, huh? 132 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,668 I pull hanky bank owe everybody, 133 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,570 I do, seriously. 134 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,539 Charlotte, if I asked you to 135 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,840 Rate me in the bedroom, what 136 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,841 Would you say? 137 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,675 Go ahead. 138 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,378 Come on. 139 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,379 >> danny, I really -- I don't 140 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,747 Want to do this right now. 141 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,783 >> come on. 142 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:53,587 Look, if I asked you to rate me 143 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,756 On a scale of justin to danny, 144 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:56,390 Right? 145 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,925 Danny obviously being the best 146 00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,727 And justin being too ugly that 147 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,596 He can't even make the scale, 148 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,230 What would you -- what would you 149 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:07,768 Do? 150 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,803 One out of ten, come on. 151 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:15,643 >> six? 152 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,010 >> someone call anthony bourdain 153 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,712 Because this is delicious. 154 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:28,556 [ laughter ] 155 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,557 >> this is the happiest day of 156 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,591 My life. 157 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,627 >> so I'm a six? 158 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:36,530 >> look at the bright side, 159 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:36,730 Danny. 160 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,698 Together combined, we're a total 161 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:38,899 Of seven. 162 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,533 >> look, I mean our sex life is 163 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:39,900 Good, you know. 164 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,501 I'm sure every girl loves the 165 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,969 Danger of doing it on the floor 166 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:42,603 Of your roommate's bedroom while 167 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,170 He sleeps just inches away. 168 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:43,971 >> what? 169 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:47,741 I thought that was a dream. 170 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,844 >> look, danny. 171 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:51,845 You're good at like wild, like 172 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,581 Crazy sex. 173 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,849 You're just not good at making 174 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:56,550 Love, but that's okay. 175 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,487 We'll work on it. 176 00:06:59,487 --> 00:06:59,920 >> okay. 177 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,523 That's cool. 178 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,991 It's not a big deal or anything. 179 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,459 I know what's up. 180 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,059 Anyway, I'll go to my special 181 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,562 Place right now. 182 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,598 >> where is he going? 183 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,632 >> oh, well, when danny is this 184 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,666 Upset, he likes to go to the 185 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,233 Movies and make other people 186 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:19,072 Feel as miserable as he does. 187 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,775 >> so are you guys ready to see 188 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,478 The new "Star wars" movie? 189 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,513 Han solo dies! 190 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,482 [ laughter ] 191 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:36,557 ** 192 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,591 >> I can't believe that she said 193 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,961 I was a six. 194 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:41,595 Seriously, these hip, they never 195 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,663 Slow down. 196 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,165 I mean sometimes they even wake 197 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,969 Up in the morning before I do. 198 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,205 Hey, come on. 199 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,608 Chill out, it's too early. 200 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:59,112 Go watch cartoons or something. 201 00:07:59,112 --> 00:07:59,647 Okay. 202 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,280 All right. 203 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,014 All right. 204 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:01,515 I'm up. 205 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,183 Whatever. 206 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,520 This is the worst day of my 207 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,521 Life. 208 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:13,193 [ cheers and applause ] 209 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:13,727 >> quit feeling sorry for 210 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,797 Yourself. 211 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:17,430 >> how many times are you going 212 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:21,001 To do that until I run out of 213 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,104 Posters. 214 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,539 Look, danny. 215 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,206 >> what? 216 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:26,574 >> 217 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,108 >> listen, charlotte didn't say 218 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,209 You weren't good at sex. 219 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,678 She said you didn't know how to 220 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,111 Make love. 221 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,112 >> what's the difference? 222 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,080 >> danny, making love is 223 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:33,747 Beautiful. 224 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:34,648 It's poetry. 225 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,683 It's shakespeare. 226 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,219 >> no, no, don't do shakespeare. 227 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:42,055 >> love is a smoke -- love is a 228 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,124 Smoke grazed with 229 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:48,028 A fume of sighs, being purged, a 230 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:52,566 Fire sparkle in a lover's eyes. 231 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,267 What does it tell of madness 232 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,038 Most discreet, a choking gall 233 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,808 And a persevering sweet. 234 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,142 [ cheering ] 235 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,645 But there's poems for sex as 236 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:08,115 Well. 237 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:08,749 So that's more like, yo, what's 238 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,619 Up, let's get nude. 239 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:15,088 Wham, bam, later dude. 240 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,057 >> what my true british thespian 241 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,092 Is trying to say is there's more 242 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:19,660 To making love than smashing 243 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,730 Genitals. 244 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,264 Making love is about smashing 245 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:24,732 Hearts. 246 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,800 Charlotte just wants some 247 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,869 Intimacy. 248 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,604 >> what is int-I-macy? 249 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,105 >> okay. 250 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,140 Please don't do that thing where 251 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:33,774 You act like you've never heard 252 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:34,374 Of a word just because you're 253 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:38,278 Uncomfortable. 254 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,314 >> is int-I-macy when somebody 255 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,117 Shares your password with 256 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:48,288 Someone? 257 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,723 Is intimacy when you go to the 258 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,824 Bank and it's not open on 259 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:51,759 Sunday? 260 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:52,626 >> no. 261 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,627 >> move over. 262 00:09:53,627 --> 00:10:00,133 You are lost in intimacy. 263 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,736 Listen, everybody knows that you 264 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:10,110 Got it going on in the boudoir. 265 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:10,678 But, charlotte, you need to 266 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:11,679 Connect with her on a deeper 267 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,179 Level. 268 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:15,248 You know, with candace, 269 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,116 Sometimes before we make love, I 270 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:16,750 Make love with her before I even 271 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,818 Take our clothes off. 272 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,318 Here, I'll show you. 273 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:18,686 You be candace. 274 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:19,319 >> yeah, I don't -- I don't want 275 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:19,653 To be candace. 276 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:20,053 >> shh, shh, shh. 277 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:27,861 Okay, candace. 278 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:35,769 >> all right. 279 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,204 >> who's my wild child. 280 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,773 Now look into my eyes. 281 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:44,244 Now look into my eyes. 282 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:44,845 You see how much I care about 283 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,682 You? 284 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:54,154 >> how much I need you. 285 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,689 [ laughter ] 286 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,158 >> whoa, whoa, whoa. 287 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,961 What the hell was that, man? 288 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,229 >> I think that was an emotional 289 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:06,366 Orgasm. 290 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,801 >> I'm going to go light myself 291 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,370 On fire. 292 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,371 >> look, danny, I've never made 293 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:15,375 Love either. 294 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,443 But I've killeded for that kind 295 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,778 Of connection and you have that 296 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:18,812 Chance with charlotte. 297 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:22,716 Don't mess it up, man. 298 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:26,887 >> even if I wanted to be 299 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:27,520 Int-I-macy, I wouldn't even know 300 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,257 Where to start. 301 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,959 >> look. 302 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:37,297 Listen -- 303 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,398 >> just start slow. 304 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:38,932 Okay? 305 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,734 Next time you're watching tv, 306 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,270 Try cuddling. 307 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,238 If you have trouble with that 308 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,273 Intimacy, 309 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,841 Just pretend you're a koala 310 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,310 Hugging a tree. 311 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,013 >> gotcha. 312 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,249 Next time I see her I'll hug her 313 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,318 Like a koala bear. 314 00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:58,752 Oh, I hate cuddling. 315 00:11:58,752 --> 00:11:59,219 >> are you kidding me? 316 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:05,492 I live for cuddling. 317 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:06,526 Cuddling is the best part. 318 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,762 >> seriously? 319 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,229 >> no. 320 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,832 I'm just trying to make a point. 321 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,367 The best part is making that ass 322 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,803 Clap. 323 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:16,770 ** 324 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:22,843 ** 325 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,344 >> I guess I just have to accept 326 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:29,883 That I'm never going to be sexy. 327 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,251 I really wish I could get a hug 328 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,286 From shelly right now. 329 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,321 >> you never know. 330 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:34,822 He could be back there. 331 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,890 Hey, shelly, there are 332 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,993 Professional wrestlers and 333 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:40,593 They're smoking hella weed out 334 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,562 Here! 335 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:45,032 Nope, not here. 336 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,967 >> candace, come over here. 337 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,969 We can help you be sexy. 338 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,271 When I want to be sexy for danny 339 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,906 I wear a tube top or laugh at 340 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,942 One of his terrible jokes or 341 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,009 I'll show him a close-up photo 342 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,510 Of my junk. 343 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,912 >> whoa! 344 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,815 [ laughter ] 345 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:06,519 Nudies? 346 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,087 >> did you take that in the 347 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:11,091 Office? 348 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:11,925 Keep it at home for crying out 349 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:18,832 Loud! 350 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,000 I'm not going to do that kind of 351 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,400 Thing. 352 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,102 >> do you have any special 353 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:22,903 Skills, you know? 354 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,438 I'm very good at acronyms. 355 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,573 Taking the first letter of every 356 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,441 Word in the sentence and I can 357 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,843 Do that and girls are definitely 358 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,045 Into that, so -- what the hell 359 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,914 Are you talking about? 360 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,849 >> 361 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,384 >> w-t-h-a-y-t-a. 362 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,954 >> I'm sorry. 363 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:45,525 Nobody on earth finds that sexy. 364 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:49,529 >> I-s-n-o-e-f -- that's sexy. 365 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,431 >> I say we accentuate your 366 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,067 Curves. 367 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,068 Well, arch your back. 368 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,603 Squeeze your boobs together with 369 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,338 Your arms. 370 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,339 Then sit like you're sitting on 371 00:13:59,339 --> 00:13:59,973 A bar stool that's just a little 372 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:00,307 Bit too high. 373 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,909 And then pout like a sexy duck. 374 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:06,880 [ laughter ] 375 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,882 [ cheering ] 376 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:12,352 >> do you have any other 377 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:18,591 Suggestions? 378 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,160 >> you know what should make you 379 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,461 Feel sexy? 380 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,030 That a great guy is crazy about 381 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:23,196 You. 382 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,898 I mean, that always makes me 383 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,399 Feel that way and no, I don't 384 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:33,406 Want to talk about it right now. 385 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:33,974 >> n-I-d-w-t -- come on, you 386 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:34,942 Know. 387 00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:35,508 >> just be confident and do 388 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:39,146 Something unexpected, okay? 389 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,181 Say surprise, grab his ass and 390 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,383 Kiss him hard. 391 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:43,984 >> I don't know if I could do 392 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,019 That. 393 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,189 >> you totally can. 394 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,490 Demonstrate it on me, love. 395 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,191 >> oh, my god. 396 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,961 Is this really going to happen? 397 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:54,527 The ratings are going to go 398 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,029 Through the roof. 399 00:14:56,029 --> 00:15:01,501 >> surprise. 400 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:07,607 [ cheering ] 401 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,409 >> I'm going to need a little 402 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,979 Before that happens. 403 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:15,515 [ cheers and applause ] 404 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,617 >> I believe that's my cue, 405 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,486 Ladies. 406 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,453 ** 407 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:28,061 ** 408 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,498 >> you like this so much? 409 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,500 >> uh, yeah. 410 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,069 It's not my favorite. 411 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,070 >> come on, I'm being 412 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:37,537 Int-I-macy. 413 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,105 I'm hugging you like a koala 414 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,106 Bear. 415 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:42,075 >> okay. 416 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:42,976 Oh, my god. 417 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,177 You want intimacy? 418 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,979 I am totally in. 419 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,014 Hold me. 420 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,983 >> yeah, you know what? 421 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:50,517 Look, this isn't really my 422 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,219 Thing, okay? 423 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,221 It turns out being intimacy is 424 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,088 Not my thing. 425 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,124 I'm telling you, people can't 426 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:57,357 Change. 427 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,691 People change for each other all 428 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,760 Of the time like candace is out 429 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,563 With justin right now being more 430 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,164 Sexy and I'm sure that's going 431 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:10,203 Great. 432 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,204 >> here's your coffee. 433 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,206 Why are you looking at me weird? 434 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,474 >> what? 435 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,078 [ cheering ] 436 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:18,578 Are you okay? 437 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,147 Are you okay? 438 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:27,487 >> you knocked out my toof. 439 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,589 ** 440 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,658 ** 441 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:36,029 ** 442 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:42,702 ** 443 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,173 >> I'm so angry that I'm out of 444 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:50,577 Movies to spoil for anyone. 445 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,144 >> thank god. 446 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,645 >> at the end of "Making a 447 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:53,180 Murderer," steve avery is 448 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:53,413 Guilty! 449 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,714 >> you telling me they put a 450 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:55,782 White man in jail? 451 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:59,052 Now, that is a twist. 452 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,553 >> oh, my god! 453 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:01,154 I can't believe I knocked your 454 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:05,158 Tooth out. 455 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,827 >> don't worry about it. 456 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:13,166 >> candathe, ith okay. 457 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,202 It's a cap. 458 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:19,806 It doesn't even hurt. 459 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:20,840 >> don't call me candace. 460 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,644 Call me something else. 461 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,846 >> thweetie. 462 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:33,153 [ laughter ] 463 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,288 >> why are you laughing? 464 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,856 >> are you laughing at my 465 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:37,724 Boyfriend? 466 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,327 You old maid? 467 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:40,860 >> I will eat your ass for 468 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,095 Breakfast. 469 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,597 That came out wrong. 470 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,200 >> you know what, you got me so 471 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,235 Mad. 472 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:48,768 You tricked me into being 473 00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,304 Int-I-macy. 474 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:51,871 Now I'm nervous and insecure 475 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,673 About it. 476 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,774 >> that's fantastic. 477 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,342 That's how I feel all of the 478 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,110 Time. 479 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:57,577 That's intimacy. 480 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,312 >> okay. 481 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,247 You know what? 482 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,115 If you say one more word, this 483 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,384 Is going in your face. 484 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,118 >> you know what? 485 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:05,885 This is passion. 486 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,620 If we were to have sex right now 487 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,722 For the firth time, you'd be 488 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:10,257 Making love. 489 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:14,861 [ laughter ] 490 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,597 That's for calling me old. 491 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,233 >> this is for showing me 492 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,769 Pictures of your woo-woo. 493 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,303 >> and this is for ruining 494 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,873 "Making a murderer." 495 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:27,907 >> drink fight! 496 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:39,852 [ applause ] 497 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:49,229 [ cheering ] 498 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,597 ** 499 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,401 ** 500 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,935 We should all be ashamed of 501 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:56,936 Ourselves. 502 00:18:56,936 --> 00:19:00,173 [ laughter ] 503 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:04,844 >> he's right. 504 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,314 >> you know what, guys. 505 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,348 This is my fault. 506 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,849 I got upset, and I freaked out 507 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:10,350 Charlotte. 508 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,318 I'm really sorry that I said 509 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:11,818 Those things to you. 510 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,352 Your woo-woo is beautiful. 511 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,453 And, justin, I just wanted to be 512 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,289 Sexy for you. 513 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,326 >> what? 514 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:22,662 Are you kidding me? 515 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,263 You're the sexiest girl in the 516 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:23,963 World. 517 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,866 >> danny, you need to be more 518 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:30,870 Like candace. 519 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,306 >> you should call vaginas 520 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,342 Woo-woos. 521 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:36,343 She never gives up. 522 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,310 That's the difference between 523 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,211 Good couples and bad couples. 524 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,446 Good couples keep trying. 525 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:39,912 >> that's right. 526 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,683 And I'm going to keep trying. 527 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,485 The next thing I was thinking I 528 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,920 Would do is the sexy lip bite. 529 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,955 [ laughter ] 530 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,224 >> look, charlotte, here, come 531 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,725 Here. 532 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:53,326 I remember once you said that 533 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:53,893 Your favorite scene from any 534 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:58,365 Romantic movie is the notebook 535 00:19:58,365 --> 00:19:58,965 When ryan gosling kisses that 536 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:04,404 Big forehead girl in the rain. 537 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,938 Hey, brett, would you hook us up 538 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,409 With some rain? 539 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,343 >> I can hook you up with some 540 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:10,943 Sprite. 541 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:11,944 [ laughter ] 542 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,914 >> come here. 543 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:18,918 Listen, I know that I can be 544 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:19,986 Really annoying, but I do enjoy 545 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:23,490 Dating you. 546 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:26,793 >> and that's how you make love! 547 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,762 [ applause ] 548 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:30,930 ** 549 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,532 ** 550 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,267 ** 551 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,835 ** 552 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,405 ** 553 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,940 ** 554 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:46,279 ** 555 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:46,946 ** 556 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:47,814 ** 557 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,515 ** 558 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,283 ** 559 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,952 ** 560 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,754 ** 561 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,389 ** 562 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:59,826 * 563 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:00,960 ** 564 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,429 ** 565 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,964 ** 566 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:09,302 ** 567 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,270 ** 33718

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