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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,439 >>> where is he? 2 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,342 >> hey, there he is. 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,110 What's up, buddy? 4 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,079 May I? 5 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,081 >> oh -- 6 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:19,387 [ laughter ] 7 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,522 >> dude, I can't believe he told 8 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,457 My sister last night that I 9 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:26,427 Would watch a movie with her and 10 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:48,582 She got toppled today. 11 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:53,154 Worst thing ever, no offense. 12 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,422 >> offense taken. 13 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:55,356 [ laughter ] 14 00:00:55,356 --> 00:01:04,198 >> you can't take offense. 15 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,100 >> why do you always stick your 16 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,368 Nose in everybody's business. 17 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:08,269 >> uh, hi, danny. 18 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:08,569 I'm justin. 19 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,036 I thought we had met. 20 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:09,337 [ laughter ] 21 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:09,903 >> and I was excited to just 22 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:10,471 Chill by myself tonight, and 23 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,071 Again you had to go and justin 24 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:11,305 Things. 25 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:11,939 >> justin things, does that mean 26 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,574 Making everything more romantic 27 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,175 And dance every time you touch 28 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:14,508 His shoulder? 29 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:18,246 [ cheers and applause ] 30 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,513 >> I know you think you look 31 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,182 Cool right now, but I can see 32 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,216 Your tiny little t-rex arm 33 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,585 Starting to shake. 34 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,554 >> oh, please. 35 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:34,228 I'm fine. 36 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:34,528 [ laughter ] 37 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:34,895 >> can I go up? 38 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:35,196 Can I go up? 39 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:35,496 [ laughter ] 40 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:35,796 >> uh, yeah. 41 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:36,397 That's the saddest thing I've 42 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,665 Ever seen. 43 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,368 Listen, man, just so you know to 44 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,635 Justin things means to take 45 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,236 Something and completely ruin 46 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:42,736 It. 47 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:48,142 >> no, it doesn't. 48 00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:48,576 >> oh, bloody hell! 49 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,443 I spilled ketchup and justined 50 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,144 My pants! 51 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:50,711 [ laughter ] 52 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,245 >> what's, uh, danny mean? 53 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,414 >> I'm glad you asked what danny 54 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:59,420 Means. 55 00:01:59,420 --> 00:01:59,953 It's kind of inexplicable. 56 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,255 It's more of a positive energy 57 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,323 Type thing, have you seen the 58 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:09,230 "Star wars" trailer? 59 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,332 They took the force and replaced 60 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,201 It with the danny. 61 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:17,338 >> that would never happen 62 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:17,938 >> I saw a black storm trooper 63 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:18,539 In that trailer so anything's 64 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:18,806 Possible. 65 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:19,207 >> you know what? 66 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,408 I'll define danny. 67 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,475 A jerk. 68 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,410 Jerk. 69 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,212 Jerking as if you're jerking me, 70 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:24,845 You're jerking your friends and 71 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,715 You're jerking everyone. 72 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:28,782 >> sounds like a busy night. 73 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,685 [ laughter ] 74 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:32,586 ** 75 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,456 ** 76 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,291 * 77 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,726 ** 78 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:44,365 ** 79 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,635 * 80 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:48,369 [ cheers and applause ] 81 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:48,569 ** 82 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:48,769 ** 83 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,270 ** 84 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,538 ** 85 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,206 * take a look around the room 86 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:57,245 * love comes wearing disguises 87 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:57,811 * how to go about it 88 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:58,346 ** 89 00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:02,350 ** 90 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:11,825 ** 91 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,427 * she's just my type 92 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:20,534 ** 93 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:20,734 ** 94 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,371 * you're just my type 95 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,640 ** 96 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,775 ** 97 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:28,842 * you're just my type 98 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:32,846 ** 99 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,381 ** 100 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:46,627 ** 101 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,528 >>> hey, justin. 102 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,462 How are you doing? 103 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,431 >> oh, not that great. 104 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,031 Last night while I was in bed 105 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:51,599 With candace I accidentally 106 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:52,633 Called her "Danny. 107 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:57,838 What? 108 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:01,375 >> relax, they sound the same. 109 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:01,709 >> hey, man. 110 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,344 No, they don't and why would you 111 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,478 Share that with us? 112 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,680 >> well, I couldn't help it. 113 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,315 Shelly's hugs are so loving that 114 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:12,820 You can't help, but be truthful. 115 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,421 >> there's no such thing as a 116 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,288 Truth hug, okay? 117 00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:14,622 >> oh, really. 118 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,155 Danny, what's your biggest 119 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,457 Regret in life? 120 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:16,824 >> that's easy. 121 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:17,224 I don't have one. 122 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,428 [ whistling ] 123 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:20,728 >> tell me. 124 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:21,028 [ laughter ] 125 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:26,400 >> I wish I slept with whitney 126 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:32,740 [ laughter ] 127 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:33,474 [ applause ] 128 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,074 >> anyway, man, bathroom's all 129 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:34,274 Yours. 130 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:34,842 I left your favorite rubber 131 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,343 Ducky in there for you. 132 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:35,743 >> danny, please. 133 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,344 I don't have a favorite rubber 134 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:36,544 Ducky. 135 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,044 They're all my children. 136 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:41,449 [ laughter ] 137 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,350 >> is that the third night in a 138 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:42,950 Row that shelly's stayed here? 139 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:43,517 Is there something going on? 140 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,151 >> whoa, whoa, whoa, what's with 141 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:44,552 The third degree? 142 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:55,429 Why don't you back off, ese? 143 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,029 Whenever danny gets defensive 144 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:56,664 It's usually because he's hiding 145 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:56,930 A secret. 146 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:57,565 You know something juicy, don't 147 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:57,731 You? 148 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,332 And I'm going to get it out of 149 00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:58,499 You. 150 00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:58,732 >> ooh. 151 00:04:58,732 --> 00:04:59,367 Juice him, baby, juice him good. 152 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,968 >> oh, no, don't sing a song. 153 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,437 >> I won't sing a song, but I 154 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,037 Will sing everything I do like 155 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,340 At the broadway musical. 156 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,342 >> you wouldn't dare. 157 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:08,742 * yes, I would 158 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:08,909 * 159 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:09,543 "Candace can you help me find my 160 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,546 Phone * 161 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,449 * 162 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,016 * justin, it's on the couch 163 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:21,622 Where you always leave it. 164 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:22,255 >> you guys are idiots, and I'm 165 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,924 Ignore you, okay? 166 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:24,858 >> I'll hover above you and see 167 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,361 What you're pretending to read, 168 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:27,995 Marco rubio, look, donald trump 169 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,631 Is building a wall. 170 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:45,913 >> all right, dude. 171 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,549 >> I'm about to play video 172 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:51,485 Games. 173 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:55,456 >> no you're not. 174 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,690 >> stop it! 175 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,591 >> you don't tell me what's 176 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:57,825 Going on 177 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,660 With shelly or I'm going to rip 178 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:00,728 Out your chest hair for real. 179 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:01,495 >> okay. 180 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:07,501 Okay. 181 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,503 Shelly's mom lost her job so 182 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,604 He's got to cover her rent so we 183 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,841 Can't have his place anymore and 184 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:14,775 He's bummed about living with 185 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:15,843 His mom and he asked to stay 186 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:16,777 Here, and I told him look, it's 187 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:16,977 Okay. 188 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:17,578 I stayed with a mom once, and 189 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,145 Granted it wasn't my mom and 190 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:22,950 Things got sexual. 191 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:23,484 >> we have to help shelly. 192 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:27,721 >> we're going to help him. 193 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,558 I want you to control yourself, 194 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,426 You get weird and emotional when 195 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,594 Friends are in need. 196 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,730 He made me promise that I 197 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,000 Wouldn't tell you and he'll be 198 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,637 Very embarrassed and don't get 199 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:44,271 Weird and emotional because then 200 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:44,838 He'll know and he'll be very 201 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,975 Upset. 202 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,843 >> what did I tell you about 203 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,979 Your shoes on the counter. 204 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,581 >> how did you feel when you 205 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:59,453 Heard adele's new single? 206 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:07,595 >> I don't hear it, you feel it. 207 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:11,465 We've all -- 208 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,433 ** 209 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:20,440 ** 210 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,676 >>> oh, is that a puppy? 211 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,777 >> yeah. 212 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:29,983 Cute, right? 213 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,619 Don't scroll the other 214 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:32,886 Direction, you may see a big 215 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:33,754 Healthy penis. 216 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,789 [ laughter ] 217 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,356 >> why do you always have to 218 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,791 Burski everything and that makes 219 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,892 It gross and penisy. 220 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,459 >> to leslie is to guzzle an 221 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,061 Entire bottle of wine in one 222 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,764 Sitting. 223 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,698 >> and to candace is to overuse 224 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,298 The phrase leslie, you have a 225 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,034 Problem. 226 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:52,072 [ laughter ] 227 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,509 >> so what about bretting? 228 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,610 What's bretting? 229 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,010 >> uh -- 230 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,812 >> maybe bretting is to be in 231 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:03,517 Worst shape than most gay guys? 232 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,618 [ laughter ] 233 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:12,926 >> I don't love it. 234 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,062 I am feeling randy, what about 235 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,765 Wanting to have sex with 236 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,031 Everyone. 237 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:23,937 >> I love to bang. 238 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,938 >> really? 239 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:28,041 Even that old bimbo gets 240 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:28,576 Something? 241 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,877 >> I don't understand why is 242 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,545 This such a big deal for you 243 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,614 >> because you should know me by 244 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:33,947 Now. 245 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,684 Do you think I'm just a random 246 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,585 Gay british dude who is randomly 247 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,552 Tending bar and no one's 248 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,186 Randomly explained and it's like 249 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:46,594 You guys can't even see me. 250 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:49,863 It is like you don't see me. 251 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,967 >> shem ee is coming. 252 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:54,467 >> candace's old bedroom 253 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:54,735 Upstairs. 254 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:55,368 >> how would we get him upstairs 255 00:08:55,368 --> 00:09:00,874 To see it? 256 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,876 >> hey, shelly, can you help me 257 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,678 Clear up old trash upstairs? 258 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,312 It shouldn't take long and lots 259 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,115 Of candy and magazines about 260 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:08,682 Butts. 261 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:09,316 >> you called the right man for 262 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:12,853 The job. 263 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:16,857 [ laughter ] 264 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:22,630 >> hey, why is shelly going up 265 00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:22,996 There? 266 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:23,296 [ laughter ] 267 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,832 >> because we tricked him into 268 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:29,202 Seeing his new room. 269 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,004 >> wait a minute, hold on a 270 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:31,805 Second. 271 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:32,873 You told them? 272 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,609 >> no. 273 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,243 I became a completely different 274 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,778 Person and kept it to myself. 275 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:38,879 Come on, daniel. 276 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,881 Let's make this thing move. 277 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,151 >> relax, we have a plan. 278 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:50,658 >> you see, you see, when shelly 279 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,224 Comes down I will casually 280 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,860 Mention that last night the bar 281 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,493 Was robbed and then leslie brett 282 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:53,927 Are still in shock. 283 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:54,294 >> oh, my god -- 284 00:09:54,294 --> 00:10:02,636 >> and then my line is if 285 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,203 Somebody was somebody living 286 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:03,837 Upstairs none of this would have 287 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,638 Ever happened. 288 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,272 >> but we're not going to do it 289 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:09,743 Like that, right? 290 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,277 We talked about the arms? 291 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:10,778 Anyway, doesn't matter. 292 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:11,344 I'll say what a great idea, 293 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:11,879 Honey, someone should live 294 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:12,512 Upstairs and we will do a quick 295 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:12,713 Kiss. 296 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,313 >> and then leslie and I will 297 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,982 Kiss. 298 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:21,121 >> except we won't. 299 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,924 >> can anybody crash upstairs to 300 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,159 Protect the bar. 301 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,928 What does everyone say? 302 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,062 Then shelly volunteered had a 303 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:29,897 Place to live. 304 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,199 >> unfortunately, you forgot 305 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:32,800 About a monkey wrench in your 306 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:40,974 Plan. 307 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,042 [ monkey noise ] 308 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:42,676 >> danny, do you think a monkey 309 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,211 Wrench is just a monkey holding 310 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:48,949 A wrench? 311 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:49,850 >> yeah. 312 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,785 He just goes around and unscrews 313 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:56,690 Everybody's plans. 314 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,257 Anyway, look, shelly doesn't 315 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,792 Want charity, okay? 316 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,227 We're not doing this. 317 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,697 >> fine. 318 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,798 We won't offer the room because 319 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:09,136 You're going to do it. 320 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:09,770 >> okay and why the hell would I 321 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:14,241 Do that, huh? 322 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,709 >> because I've changed you. 323 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,276 You see, you care about the 324 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,245 People in your life now. 325 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,948 Go ahead and make that shocked 326 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:28,922 Face. 327 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:34,127 [ laughter ] 328 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,229 I always hated your shocked 329 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:36,864 Face. 330 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,767 The point is daniel radcliffe 331 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:42,135 Burton, we're not going to help 332 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:42,836 Shelly. 333 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,305 His happiness falls on you. 334 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,875 >> well, it looks like my 335 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,877 Evening's presented itself. 336 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:50,744 >> you guys all have a good 337 00:11:50,744 --> 00:12:00,888 Night. 338 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,056 Something on your mind, danny? 339 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:03,957 >> uh -- no, I just -- justin's 340 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:04,892 Bar got robbed and he wants 341 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,894 Someone to stay upstairs. 342 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,161 Can anyone do it? 343 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,864 >> no. 344 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:19,272 >> shelly, can you do it? 345 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,909 >> I gegs -- guess it could if 346 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,911 That will help you out. 347 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,347 I'll get settled in. 348 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:34,021 Take my butt magazine. 349 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,789 >> well. 350 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,190 You helped a friend in need. 351 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,091 You know what that makes you? 352 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,392 A friend, indeed. 353 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,830 [ laughter ] 354 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:43,396 Monkey business. 355 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:55,108 [ monkey noises ] 356 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,411 >> what the hell is he doing? 357 00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,012 >> I believe that is a monkey 358 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:02,382 Conducting business. 359 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,316 [ laughter ] 360 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,017 ** 361 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:04,985 ** 362 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,894 ** 363 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:21,301 >>> people of detroit, it is bed 364 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,235 Time. 365 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:22,870 I'm about to consume this edible 366 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,371 And have some crazy dreams. 367 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,039 [ laughter ] 368 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:26,940 [ applause ] 369 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:27,574 >> please finish your drink and 370 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:28,175 Decide if you're going to have 371 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:28,775 Hot sex with the person you're 372 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:36,016 Talking to. 373 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:40,854 Always use condoms. 374 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:41,955 Unless you're really hot. 375 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:42,289 Go lions. 376 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,291 [ laughter ] 377 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:44,892 >> see, it's all working out, 378 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:45,392 Danny. 379 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:46,860 >> hey, boys. 380 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:47,460 Before I go to bed I have some 381 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,095 Questions about the robbery, if 382 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,263 You don't mind. 383 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:55,002 >> he knows. 384 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,269 >> ha! 385 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:56,870 >> he doesn't know the truth! 386 00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:04,277 [ laughter ] 387 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:12,085 >> the truth about what? 388 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:12,986 >> uh -- the truth about teen 389 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:13,253 Pregnancy. 390 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:13,653 Isn't that right? 391 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,990 It's a big deal. 392 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,992 >> it's a huge deal. 393 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:19,326 That's right. 394 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:19,526 Yeah. 395 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,127 Babies born to adolescents has 396 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:20,660 Dropped since reaching an 397 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,294 All-time high in 1990, but it's 398 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:21,828 Still a complex issue that 399 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,463 Everyone is alarmed about. 400 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,064 Research shows knowledge-based 401 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,098 Programs help decrease teen 402 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:25,698 Pregnancy rate, but abstinence 403 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,266 Without education and birth 404 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:30,170 Control does not. 405 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,340 You say what? 406 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:44,918 [ cheers and applause ] 407 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:45,518 >> follow my lead, all right? 408 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:45,752 >> okay. 409 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:46,353 That's what we're going to do. 410 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,988 You take the lead and I'll say 411 00:14:47,988 --> 00:15:07,440 Whatever you say. 412 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:07,807 We've got this. 413 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,241 I'm amazing at this. 414 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,442 >> sitting down. 415 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,444 >> so, yeah. 416 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,045 Tell me how this whole robbery 417 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:17,985 Went down. 418 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:22,122 >> it is empty. 419 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,490 >> not00 dreads. 420 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:28,228 I filled out a police report, 421 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:33,100 They said the odds of catching 422 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:42,175 Them -- 423 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,376 >> it wouldn't happen. 424 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:52,019 >> maybe it could happen again. 425 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:59,526 >> all right. 426 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,494 >> you guys are acting weird. 427 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:06,299 I want you all to answer this 428 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,000 Last question. 429 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:12,305 The police officer, what did he 430 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:21,048 Look like. 431 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:21,448 [ indiscernible ] 432 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:21,681 >> guys! 433 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,416 Guys! 434 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,017 I've heard all I need to hear, 435 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:24,484 And it all checks out. 436 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:24,784 [ laughter ] 437 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:25,185 >> does it, shel? 438 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:25,485 [ laughter ] 439 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:31,191 >> yeah. 440 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:31,758 Of course, I trust you guys. 441 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,192 Bring it in, justin. 442 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:37,564 Wait a minute, he's going for a 443 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,431 Truth hug! 444 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,368 [ laughter ] 445 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:58,051 [ screaming ] 446 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:58,485 >> he's got candace! 447 00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:58,985 >> candace, was there no 448 00:16:58,985 --> 00:16:59,419 Robbery, was there? 449 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,488 You all made it up. 450 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:05,192 >> no, we were just trying to 451 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:05,558 Help you out! 452 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,093 [ laughter ] 453 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:06,659 >> I can't believe you two. 454 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:10,063 You guys made me look like a 455 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,166 Damn fool! 456 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,235 >> wearing those pjs. 457 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,603 ** 458 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,308 ** 459 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:22,742 >>> all right, come on, shelly. 460 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,310 You don't have to move out. 461 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,645 >> yes, I do. 462 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,248 You violated my trust and you 463 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,083 Turned me into a charity case. 464 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,151 >> I'm sorry, but throwing a 465 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,085 Huge teddy bear at me is not 466 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,221 Going to hurt me, okay? 467 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,855 [ laughter ] 468 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,758 >> was that my computer? 469 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,859 [ laughter ] 470 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,328 >> how am I supposed to look any 471 00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,395 Of you in the eyes again? 472 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:47,267 Anyone have an answer to that? 473 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:47,634 >> I made this. 474 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:47,934 [ laughter ] 475 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:48,535 >> shelly, we were just trying 476 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,602 To help you, man. 477 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,237 >> you don't understand, danny. 478 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:50,837 My dad was a taker, all right? 479 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,106 He took from everybody, friends, 480 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,143 Family, me. 481 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,610 The best gift I ever got were 482 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,245 Two tickets to wrestlemania and 483 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:58,811 He took them and he scalped 484 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,248 Them. 485 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:01,848 >> you shouldn't do that to a 486 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:02,849 Kid. 487 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:07,254 >> I was 26. 488 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,655 >> that's not the point. 489 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,823 The point is I promised I would 490 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,758 Never be a charity case like him 491 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,294 And that's why I don't need 492 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:18,131 Anybody's help. 493 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:18,831 >> look, we all understand that, 494 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:19,732 But the problem is you let this 495 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:20,233 Guy in your life, okay? 496 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,302 What he does is he changes 497 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,304 Things. 498 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,405 He changed me into a guy that 499 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,839 Cares about his friend, and I 500 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,141 Hate him for that. 501 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,242 To be totally honest I'm a 502 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,843 Little upset with you for 503 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,679 Bretting the situation. 504 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,649 [ laughter ] 505 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,219 >> bretting? 506 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,822 What is it? 507 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:43,723 >> it means to take a minor 508 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,325 Issue like nicknames and having 509 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,261 Your friends stay with you and 510 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,329 Turn it into an emotional mess 511 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,664 Like a 13-year-old girl. 512 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:55,668 [ laughter ] 513 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,938 >> I love it. 514 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,942 [ laughter ] 515 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,411 >> the bottom line is you always 516 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,478 Help us out and now it's your 517 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,746 Turn. 518 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,280 >> that doesn't make you a 519 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,748 Charity case. 520 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,917 That makes you one of us. 521 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,185 >> yeah, man. 522 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:12,819 You either let your pride get in 523 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,286 The way or you don't. 524 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:18,391 [ laughter ] 525 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,459 >> I'm sorry, guys. 526 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,294 I just don't want the room, 527 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:21,794 Okay? 528 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,463 >> really? 529 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,364 I thought you might say that, 530 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:24,897 Hey, shel. 531 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:25,532 You want to know why people tell 532 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,032 The truth in your hugs? 533 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:26,633 Because you're so loving they 534 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:27,099 Can't help, but do it. 535 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:30,203 See how you like it. 536 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:33,306 Come on, guys. 537 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:38,378 [ laughter ] 538 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,312 >> danny, you have to get in on 539 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:39,812 This, too. 540 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,448 >> oh, come on! 541 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:45,752 Fine! 542 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:53,760 [ laughter ] 543 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,227 >> now tell the truth. 544 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:54,594 Tell the truth. 545 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,228 Do you really not want the room 546 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:55,795 Or are you too stubborn and 547 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,296 Embarrassed to take it? 548 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,397 >> yes. 549 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:57,897 I'm being too stubborn. 550 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:58,498 >> okay, fine, and if you just 551 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,098 Go up there and stay up there 552 00:19:59,098 --> 00:19:59,732 And if we promise not to mention 553 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,367 It would that be cool with you? 554 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:00,733 >> yes, I will. 555 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,368 >> are you copping a feel of my 556 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,802 Butt with your hand? 557 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,273 >> you better believe it. 558 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,275 >> whose butt am I squeezing? 559 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:12,245 >> don't worry about it. 560 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,514 [ laughter ] 561 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,849 * 562 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,018 * 563 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,987 * 33812

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