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THE BEST IN FASHION -SITARA'S NEW COLLECTION
My kids call this the wall of fame.
My entire life story is on it.
You can print it in your newspaper if you want.
My name is Sitara. How may I help you?
My name is Adarsh.
I am a journalist, but…
I'm not here for a story.
So you want to become a gigolo because…
your wife hired one?
If a wife can hire a gigolo…
then why can't a husband become one?
I understand that you are hurting
and I apologize on behalf of Sunny.
You seem like a decent guy.
I urge you to handle this with maturity.
Decency has been the bane of my existence.
And…
I don't want to carry the weight of it anymore.
And I don't hire indecent people.
I suggest you give it some time.
For your sake, and for the sake of your relationship.
Instead of getting tangled up in a new mess.
I'm sure when Naina came to you, you gave her your sagely advice too…
Right?
Trust me. I can do this.
-Give me some time to think about it. -Alright.
I will wait for your call.
Do you have any idea…
that these mistakes, which you think are small…
can cost us big?
Who told you to go to Naina's home?
Ma'am, I was helping her save on hotel expenses.
Boss ma'am, only you can handle this mess now.
Before he starts harassing our other clients
I thought I should bring him to you.
And why did you take Renu to that cheap hotel at the last minute?
The same reason, ma'am! He followed me all the way to the hotel.
-He is a maniac! -Don't lie.
Do you have any idea how many people your greed could put at risk?
This is not going to work out.
Please, ma'am, forgive me this time.
It won't happen again.
I promise.
By the way, what do you have in mind for him?
Sir… I want to discuss something with you.
What?
Check these out.
These are pictures from the raid that night.
It's an international prostitution racket, sir.
We should do an investigative piece.
I am not interested in sex and sleaze, Jyoti.
Sir, this is not sex and sleaze. It's a human story.
I will work thoroughly on this for the next few weeks.
Please help me get an allowance from Naveen sir.
Jyoti, I am telling you… it's a weak story.
-Drop it. -Sir, let me develop it once.
Then you take a call.
Sir, the cops caught a lot of people that night.
We can talk to them as well.
Jyoti…
I've been meaning to discuss this…
I think you are more suited to the civic beat.
All that is bothering the residents of this city…
Poor roads, electricity, water supply… Expose these fault lines.
These are the basic necessities of the common man.
Be a mouthpiece for them. Everyone is glamorizing crime.
You need to find your own voice. You are made for better things.
I'm very sure Jyoti, that you'll infuse life into this beat.
-Very Good. -But sir, I have all the photographs,
and a lot more… Sir!
Give me a lighter.
Bro… Hey, bro…
Hey! You big shot editor…
I came here looking for you.
How are you?
-What are you doing here? -Actually, I…
Go back inside!
-What are you doing here? -If you can land up at my shop,
-why can't I land up at yours? -What do you want?
I don't want anything, but boss ma'am wants your blood.
-What nonsense is this? -Don't get hassled, man!
I am here with good news. Congratulations.
You've cleared the interview round. It's time for action now.
Roll up the windows. Quick.
Does that mean I've been selected?
Don't get ahead of yourself.
We need to go to a doctor for some tests.
STD, HIV, Syphilis, etc.
I am absolutely fit.
Please tell her that I have no health issues.
I don't doubt that one bit.
But we need an "all clear" certificate from the doctor.
Once you have that, we'll send you for a trial.
Who will conduct the trial?
-Boss ma'am. -She will participate?
No. No. She will arrange a client.
And if the client is happy with the experience,
she gives you a 5-star rating… and stamps you "Ok Tested"…
Then you'll be counted among special men like me…
for whom the women of this city open their wallets wide…
You should open your mouth a little less.
Let's see how much you'll open yours.
Oh, hello, no need to slam the door.
-This is not your junk box. -Go back inside. Go back.
-Hello. -This is Sitara.
Yes. Just one minute.
Yes, ma'am.
I have fixed a trial for you. Thursday evening.
Yes.
You won't get paid for this trial.
Sunny will pick you up at 04:30 p.m.
Does he have to come along?
Yes, he does. You are going for the first time.
She is one of our oldest clients.
I hope you won't do anything to upset her.
Hello.
What happened? Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Are you alright? Hello.
Hello.
Yes.
Did you hear what I said?
-Yes. Don't worry. -Make sure to dress well.
Sure.
Are you really planning to hire him?
Don't ask too many questions.
Pick him up and drop him off, and be nice.
And wait there until he comes out. Make sure nothing goes wrong, Sunny.
As you say.
I won't be coming to the office today.
Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T. -The G.O.A.T.'s here!
Here comes the G.O.A.T.
Here comes the G.O.A.T. Yeah
-Here comes the G.O.A.T. -The G.O.A.T.'s here!
-Here comes the G.O.A.T. -The G.O.A.T.'s here!
-Here comes the G.O.A.T. -The G.O.A.T.'s here!
Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy!
Here comes the G.O.A.T. He's here
As fast as lightning No one can catch him
Says thank you, dear As you cut him
-You know he got no fears -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T. -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy! -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy! -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-What is this song? -Millellium music.
-It is for young people. -It is millennium, not millellium!
-Isn't that what I said? -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy! -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
Is that your wedding suit?
I mean… it's nice. It's a little shiny, but it's nice.
Whose car is this?
Whatever I have, has been gifted to me by women.
You will get these perks too.
Just pass this exam with flying colors.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy! -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Here comes the G.O.A.T., boy! -Here comes the G.O.A.T.
By the way,
this profession demands stamina… not speed.
These smoke rings you are blowing,
are going to be a problem later today.
What is the test about exactly?
He's too much fun! The life of a party!
-Say something! -What can he say?
What can he really say?
-Shut this noise! -Why should I shut it?
First, goats in your shop, and now goats in your music!
Here comes the G.O.A.T. Here comes the G.O.A.T.
-Is he gonna sing further? -Bet you don't know what G.O.A.T. means…
Greatest Of All Time!
G.O.A.T.! English!
-English? -English.
-Say millennium. -Why should I repeat it for you?
One should not pretend to be what one is not.
Then why the hell are you here?
One second… Just hold for a second! Hold for a second.
-There's still time for checkout. -Mrs. Verma…
Sitara ma'am has sent me here.
Hold on for a moment.
Nothing, it's just the fridge repair guy.
Please, come in.
Yeah… Please sit. I need a minute.
Sure.
What did you say?
Really?
I am listening to you…
-Yeah… -Yes. I can have one.
I heard that. But…
Thank you.
But you'll have to make the decision. It's your life.
You can't keep doing whatever the world wants.
I get you, but what do I say?
What do I…
And then… What did you say?
Yeah, I understood that!
Okay, hang up now. Bye.
What name do you go by?
-Call me AJ. -Ajay?
No. A and J. AJ.
Take your clothes off, AJ.
Sure.
Ready?
You tell me.
Oh, not like this. Start with the shirt.
Tease a little.
-What about you? -You go first.
Look me in the eye.
Pep it up…
Like a film star!
Can I use the washroom?
Washroom?
Thank you.
You can do this. You can do this.
Are you all right?
Yes, I'm fine.
Be there in a minute…
You have to do this.
If she can, so can you!
She did.
You… have to do.
You have to do.
Let's start with a nice back massage.
Sure.
Are your hands shivering?
How can someone do such a thing to anyone?
What did I do?
And you aren't doing anything either!
Are you crying?
Why are you crying?
I have never thought about anyone else other than her.
How could she do this to me?
Please go home. I will head back too.
Everything will be alright.
Please get dressed.
Mrs. Verma.
My life is over. Finished.
I am dead.
It's over and I know it.
I know it.
It's over.
Please go and wash your face.
Why do you want me to wash my face?
Huh?
Am I that ugly?
-No. -What do I do with this face?
Should I smash it?
Everything will be alright. Don't worry, everything will be alright.
I feel nothing.
My heart is cold as stone.
You know, Mrs. Verma…
I'm a moron.
-No. -Yes.
I tried to be an ideal husband to her.
In fact, my first name really means "ideal."
And my last name means "jeweler"!
But I mistook a stone for a diamond!
Have you seen an ant?
It keeps crawling…
And suddenly…
a big shoe comes, smashes its head…
and leaves like nothing happened.
That ant is me.
And the world is the shoe.
People have walked all over me.
Mrs. Verma,
what kind of a man does a woman want?
You tell me.
What kind of a man do you want?
Knight in shining armor?
On a horse…
Gallop, gallop, gallop, gallop!
I am tired!
My horse has run away!
Please sit down. Please relax.
Let me get you a new ride.
No. Please don't go anywhere.
-But… -Please. Please.
-Please. Please. -Okay…
This is my trial.
A test of my manliness.
I used to be first in class.
My mark sheet would always say… "First!"
But I failed in life.
Look, what I'm doing! What am I doing?
-What am I doing? -These things don't matter.
I failed in tenth grade too. It made no difference.
-Just lie down for a bit. -I am not going to lie down.
If I lie down, a big shoe will smash me into smithereens.
I will rise. And I will show the world…
what this ant is capable of!
Adarsh is not a bad guy. He is going through a bad phase.
This may hurt a little.
This is the time to stand with him, not desert him.
-Almost done. -Leave it, it is very painful.
Just a few minutes. Come on. Come on.
Why doesn't he come here to patch things up?
Is he less arrogant?
When did he last visit us? Do you remember?
Now you don't encourage Naina with such talk.
Is there anything that Adarsh doesn't allow her?
He supports her in whatever she wants… and ignores what she doesn't.
-What more does she want? -Only Naina can answer that.
Can she now? As if I don't know her.
She's just too addicted to drama.
A man wants peace, not drama.
He works day and night, only to return to her tantrums.
All this stress has taken a toll on your shoulders…
and our brains too.
It's not easy to find men…
who take care of their wives even when they don't have children.
Had she landed up in an orthodox family…
she would have been busy meeting god-men and miracle workers.
And you think she would have put up with that?
Or I would have let her? Let's start with the other shoulder.
Come on. Slowly.
Yeah. I've reached.
I'll stay here for a few days. You had dinner?
No? Why not?
-No. I'll eat in a bit. -Did you see that?
You stress yourself out for no reason.
I saw…
what you didn't.
I've never heard her talk to him with so much affection.
Bro…
Brother.
Wake up, bro…
Bro, wake up. Let's get you back home.
Your family's expecting you. Don't you have stories to publish?
-Please get him out of here. -Can't you see I'm trying?
Bro…
Alright, then… Grab his legs.
Why should I do it?
Who's in a hurry here?
No. No. No. Please don't throw up. Don't throw up.
This car isn't mine, bro! Bro, please…
Hold it. Hold it. Swallow it back. Swallow it.
What the hell!
Sorry, bro.
-You… Get up! -Daddy, what happened?
-Get up and get out of here! Get out! -What happened?
Don't spread your filth in my home!
-Get up! Get up! -Daddy, at least tell me what have I done.
What was this condom doing in your pocket?
-Daddy, it is not mine. -Do you have any regard…
for the women in this house?
-Daddy! -Stop hitting him. It is just a condom.
-Not a bomb. -You don't utter a word…
You are the one who has spoilt him.
-Daddy! -What else…
-What else are you up to? Tell me, fast… -Nothing else.
or I'll beat the hell out of you.
-Daddy, I have nothing else. -Move aside.
Let me check your cupboard.
Daddy…
-There is nothing else. -Move aside…
What have you stashed here?
Nothing! It's nothing.
-Move this. -My stuff… It's my stuff.
-Who's the girl? -There's no girl.
-Where is she from? -There is no girl.
We've promised you in marriage to your brother's in-laws.
Don't let us down.
Why are you making a mess of the room?
What else do you have? What is this?
-Perfume. It's a perfume. -Yeah?
Tell me what else are you hiding?
-Nothing. -Nothing?
What about this cash? Where did you get it from?
These are my savings.
Really?
Is it from the shop till?
Ask me! I've given it to him.
Daddy, this is from my modeling.
All this is making you delusional.
You had the chance to do a respectable job in Saudi Arabia.
But you left that opportunity to pose like a dunce in Sitara's clothes.
We should send him to live with his brother,
so he can learn etiquette, work, and how to be a good son.
Why don't I just leave on my own?
And I won't go to Saudi, I'll go to London!
I want to go to London too.
-Enough with all this nagging! -Yeah, right!
Queen Victoria is waiting with bated breath for the two of you.
It's Elizabeth II!
I am getting out of here for real.
Wow, this house cat roars like a tiger!
Fetch the animal from the terrace and get to the shop.
Why don't you make mincemeat out of me?
I'll beat you to a pulp!
What a load of horseshit!
Eenie Meenie Miney Moe Catch a tiger by the toe…
What happened? Your dad gave you an earful?
Mini…
-When did you come? -When you were getting slaughtered.
I was reminded of our childhood.
You could hear all that?
I could always hear it.
"Sunny, it's not you, it's your fortune sleeping."
This rant used to be my alarm clock.
When did you return from Mumbai? Sitara auntie never mentioned it.
And what are you looking for in these ruins at this hour?
I'm going to the US for an internship.
I thought I'd spend some time in this city before leaving.
And say hello to old neighbors too.
-Oh. -Sunny!
Come down.
You seem to be getting late.
-What are you doing over the weekend? -Always free for you.
Let's meet, then. You, me and Vikki!
Skinny is here too?
Don't call my brother "Skinny" anymore. He doesn't like it.
Sunny! Did you doze off?
Get here quick with the goat.
Sunny.
Set the goat free.
Yes! Coming!
Eenie Meenie Miney Moe Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers, let him go Eenie Meenie Miney Moe
Sorry, buddy!
Roshan bro! Everyone from my hood is getting ahead
and I'm stuck here.
Please find a way to get me a visa for London.
The money you have given me thus far, including this…
can get you to one of the four places.
Nigeria, Sudan, Iraq and Afghanistan.
You're sending me for a job or a war?
Why are you so stuck on London?
This, right here, is the problem with our people.
Everyone takes me lightly. Wait a second…
Check this out.
Make it quick.
You crook!
-Now who's this woman? -She's an NRI.
-I met her when she was traveling here. -Are you going to marry her?
-She's as old as your mother. -She is married.
Her husband owns two petrol pumps and one dispensary.
She will get me a job there.
Then you will see me with the King, in his carriage.
-On TV. -Okay.
Call for a sponsorship letter from your new mom.
I'll get you a visa.
Bro, she won't be able to give me that letter.
Try and understand.
She is taking you for a ride.
Why do you always tangle in complicated shit?
Bro, I don't get taken for a ride.
I'm the one who takes people for a ride.
That's why I want you…
to make the full payment in advance.
I want to apologize to Mrs. Verma and Ms. Sitara.
Look, bro…
Please don't go back to Sitara ma'am.
It's my request to you.
Okay?
-Get over it now. -Don't touch me.
I will lose my job.
Give me Mrs. Verma's number. I will apologize to her.
I want a second chance.
Bro… Get this obsession off your head!
I didn't ask for advice. I asked for her phone number.
It's the last time you'll get any help from me.
Only because I took your money.
-Do you have a phone? -Yes.
One with an internet connection?
I don't want to be fooled again on the internet.
Trust me, bro…
-You won't get kidnapped this time. -Don't mess with me.
I'm sorting you out, bro… Give me your phone.
What is this? It's a classified site.
This is what classified ads are all about.
Your paper prints these too.
The masseuses, the women specialists…
What do you think they are selling? Some of them are genuine,
but the rest are code words for… you know what!
The online world will give you a second chance.
You want me on billboards all over the city?
No… Not all over the city…
Underground.
With a new phone number, new email, and new identity.
Like in the movie Shahenshah!
Corrupt policeman by day, vigilante by night.
Batman! Businessman by day,
bat by night!
Just like what you'd be!
Journalist by day, gigolo by night. A man among men. A lion among lions.
And who knows? Maybe your wife will hire you one day.
Money stays in the family.
Go down and play with marbles, you imbecile!
Bro… this is where I hang…
I can play wherever I want.
Stop getting my wife into every conversation.
Just because I wield a pen, doesn't mean I can't use my hands and feet.
Cause if I do… you won't be fit enough to hang here anymore.
Ouch!
All bark, no bite! Buzz off, idiot!
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