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I hate Erazer. I mean, I really hate this guy.

I don't get why people do this shit.

Why would you wanna write your name out like that, 100 times?

I like it. Yeah, well, I prefer the old-school stuff.

Stuff like, 'If you can read this, then you're a massive bell-end.'

Talking of which. Come on, tiger, out you pop.

Urgh, what you doing? A piss.

When Little Rudy's gotta go, he's gotta go.

Can't you just go round the corner?

He's clever but he's not that clever.

You mean walk round the corner. I'll go.

Are you enjoying that?

Well... Well, I was.

It feels a bit weird now that you're watching.

You're pissing on my work! You did this shit, did you?

You Erazer? It's not shit! It's art.

No, Fanny Bangers 2 - that's art, mate.

This is what sad, lonely wankers do.

No thanks, I don't do aerosols, not anymore.

Just go and spray on another estate.

I don't give two shits where, as long as I don't have to clean it.

What's going on?

What the fuck is that even supposed to be, man?

Fuck you. Right, that's rude, mate...

Whoa!

Fuck.

What just happened?!

I don't know. But he does.

Who are you?

I'm Rudy.

What are you doing here? Where am I?

Are you working with Erazer? Oh, no, I hate that dick.

Are you OK?

I reckon I've twisted my nut sack.

You're bleeding.

From my nut sack?

No, from your head.

We need to get you cleaned up. Come on.

Oi, you, waxy?! Where's our mate?

He graffities things and they become real.

What the fuck...

I think we're in his world.

We've slipped into a parallel universe...

a vortex - it's quantum physics and that.

What? I know this stuff.

We need to find Rudy.

This is so fucked up. Alisha, do your thing.

- Oh! - Sorry.

No, don't be - it's not you, it's the nut sack.

You got a... got a very gentle touch.

He's in the community centre.

I think he's trying to pull some girl.

What? We're rescuing him and he's trying to get laid? Unbelievable.

Let's just get him and get the fuck out of here, yeah?

Thank you for that. I didn't catch your name.

- Suzy! - Suzy?

Where are you? Suzy! Right,

I'll go and see what this cock wants. We need to talk.

Please, let's just go.

Suzy! Back to yours or back to mine.

Yours... Yours if it's nearer.

Yours is probably bloody cleaner, like.

Or if you can't wait...

Well... this is cosy.

Suzy!

He keeps telling me that he loves me and he won't let me leave.

Alright, hold that.

Wait! You don't know what he's capable of.

Sweetheart, you don't know what I'm incapable of, do ya, hey?

Stay there.

Alright, I might... I might have locked us in there.

I'll... I'll get us out of here.

Why are you doing this to me?!

Because you love me.

What is the deal with you and this Erazer freak, man?

I don't know. I've never seen this before.

Rudy? Rudy?

This is some weird shit.

Did you hear that?

What is it?

Where's Alisha?!

Fetch.

Fuck.

Oh, shit! Alisha!

Simon, wait! I know what to do.

Are you OK?

Yeah, what was in that spray-gun?

Turpentine, industrial strength.

Fuck's sake. Let's just clean our way out of here, yeah?

Thank you. Hm?

What for?

For making me feel...

horny, moist.

No. No.

Safe.

Safe?

Oh, that's... that's good, smashing.

Listen, when... when all this craziness has calmed down,

I think we should go out, huh?

We'll have steaks... We'll have big steaks

and we'll have... We'll have big chips.

And we'll have a starter.

And go disco-dancing. Yeah, we'll paint the town red.

Well, not literally paint it red 'cause that's be stupid...

I'd just have to clean it up again.

Be a dickhead move and I do not make dickhead moves, love.

I'm alright.

Just thought I'd bang myself a bit.

Rudy's through there. Spray the bars.

Oh.

It's alright, these are my mates.

Alright, this is Suzy, my new bird...

who I've just given the finger.

We need to get back to the portal door by the lake.

Mm. Yeah, just so you know, usually I'm the leader,

but I'm happy to sit this one out 'cause I'm pretty traumatised.

We're leaving.

Not with Suzy.

You can't leave here.

Fucking dickhead!

She can do whatever the fuck she likes. Come on.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, there's something I need to do first.

For fuck's sake.

Come to life, my spunky little friend.

Oh!

It only works when he does it. Let's get out of here.

Oh, bastard.

Stop! Wait!

Oh, does he ever give up, this dick?!

Suzy, wait, please.

Get away from me. This isn't real.

I was never there - you created it.

Suzy, don't do that. Stop, please.

Suzy...

Oh, my God. Wha...

What's happening to me?

The real Suzy left me.

I couldn't live without her, so... so I...

I'm not real! I'm made of paint!

I can't leave.

I don't exist out there.

Paint the town red for me.

We need to clean that off.

Wait, I'm... sorry for you.

What for?

Who knows? For... For pissing on your graffiti.

Don't worry about it. Doesn't matter anymore.

Do you wanna have a pint?

Just out of interest,

how would a massive, jizzing cock help the situation?

It wouldn't. It wouldn't.

I've just always fancied seeing one, running down street,

just using its fat little, hairy bollocks for legs.

Oh.

It'd be funny that, it would.

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