Original subtitles

Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey Jack, Jack, can I depend on you?

My friend, can I depend on you?

Watch my step, watch my step, can I depend on you now?

My friend, can I depend on you?

Or should I watch my back with a genuine vibe on it?

Listen,

really just let the back door open. All you've got to do is go inside, look

around. And case the place out.

Don't touch nothing, alright?

Piece the case.

Even for you, gather.

My name is Gary Buckle, and my friends call me Gazza.

I was an outsider, a wheeler -dealer, a troublemaker.

I wasn't always that person, you know. I became that person.

I had to.

So it all started when my parents moved us to a small town in Australia when I

was a kid.

My determination to make it in life got me into all sorts of trouble, so it

wasn't long before I was sent packing back to good old London.

to live with the one person that would have me.

My nan.

Now, look, I love my nan more than anyone in the world, and she loves me.

Problem is, love can make you do some crazy shit.

Yo, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

New TV.

100 quid. Nah, not today, son. Come on, guys, you always buy my stuff.

80 quid.

Let's have a look at it.

80 quid for that.

Jeez. Oh, Gaz, I like you. Please, 50 quid. I'm doing you a favour here.

Look, read my lips, yeah?

Not today.

Piss off.

Gaz, can I have ten pounds?

For what?

Sweets.

Sweets? Yep.

Why aren't you in school?

Why have you got no job?

My job is to tell you to get into school, you little shit.

Cheeky bastard.

Three are on me.

They should be.

It's about time he paid. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Come on, guys.

Tell them.

You guys are not going to believe this.

This is a fucking belfer.

Oh, come on, then. Let's hear it.

All right.

For those of you that don't know the whole story, here we go.

Bollocks. All right, guys.

So, come on.

What was it this time?

Shoplifting, dodgy gear.

Oh, fucking hell, John. It's not you as well, all right?

What?

Nothing. I just got caught scoping the museum, that's all. Nothing major.

Tell you what, though. Some of that stuff in that museum, it's got to be

fortune.

Bloody hell, John.

When are you going to pack it in?

But I'm not being funny, but you're not very good at it, are you?

You know the score.

It's for me grand.

How else am I going to get the money?

Get a job, like the rest of us.

Great idea.

And who's going to hire me?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there is that.

As a boy I felt invincible I swear like that was yesterday

Now the mirror's staring back at me.

And I can almost hear it say... Morning, everyone.

Morning. Hello,

Mr Patterson. How you doing?

Hello, Cat Noir Boy.

How you doing, son?

I'm good.

You keeping yourself out of trouble?

You know me, son.

I'll tell you.

You're cheeky.

You know this song too.

I do, Gran.

How are you?

Well, my grandson is...

Well, he's very unreliable now.

Your grandson?

What do you mean? Look, why don't I make you a nice hot brew? I don't want a

bloody brew.

I want to go and move in with Liz.

Liz?

Who's Liz?

Elizabeth, the Queen.

Oh, stupid.

Oh, Gran.

Gran, it's me.

Who? Me, Gary. It's your Gazza.

Who?

So your name's Gary who, Doctor?

Now, look. Look, look, look, look, look. Ready?

I'll show you.

You see, now, there's me, right? And that one there. Yeah, yeah, but who's

to the dwarf?

The dwarf? The dwarf's me. And you're not tall enough to be my Gary.

Don't worry about that. Look, that's you, yeah?

That there, that's Grandad. Oh, no.

Freddy doesn't look a bit like him at all. He's got a super sensational body.

He's wonderful.

Oh, I've got a picture in here.

I've got a picture.

That's my Freddy.

You know, you're very cheeky, but I love you.

Yeah.

Excuse me, Mr. Buckle. Mr.

Buckle, a word, if you don't mind.

Yeah.

What is it, love?

Firstly, I am not and never will be your love.

Now, have you received any of my letters?

The red ones, in particular?

Yeah, I've seen a couple.

Good. Then, as you know, Mavis is in arrears.

Now, if the outstanding balance is not... Arrears?

For how much? If it is not settled within the next 21 days, then I will

terminate her care package.

She'll have to leave.

Leave?

Well, she can't leave. I mean, where's she supposed to go?

Well, this is none of my concern.

I'm sure there are plenty of establishments that will take her.

Or she'll have to live with you.

Live with me?

She can't... I don't even have a place to live. 21 days, Mr. Buckles.

And not a single day more.

Unbelievable.

So who's lumped you then?

Looks worse than it is, don't worry about it.

Bloody sore, though, Trace.

What's up?

It's Nan.

She's... Dead!

Is she dead?

No, she's not dead, Trace.

Look, I know you and her never got on. Gone?

Gary, she thinks I'm a bloke. She calls me Terry.

She does, yeah.

It's not funny.

You know it's not her fault, Trace.

She's old, yeah?

She's not blind.

Anyway, you said it was urgent. What is it?

I need 35 grand to pay for Gran's care home fees.

35 grand?

Are you joking?

Where's she staying? The bloody Savoy?

That's a lot of dough gas.

It was not all for that.

Look, I spunked all of Gran's care home fees and now she's in arrears at the

home.

Dad's going to kill me if he finds out. For goodness sake, Gary.

I swear I was going to pay it back, but...

Don't look at me. I'm skin.

I spent all mine on these, didn't I?

Oh, they do look good, to be fair.

Thanks.

Hmm.

I've come free. Admit it.

I can't, Trace.

He'd let me stay here rent -free.

I was supposed to stay a couple of months. I've been here a year. I can't.

I don't know, darling.

You can see if Machete Mitch has got any work.

Machete Mitch.

Already been there.

What? Can I speak to Mitch?

Machete Mitch, please.

You got an appointment?

No, not exactly. I just thought if I could... That's not very nice, is it?

What do you want?

I just wanted to speak to Machete Mitch.

For fucks sake!

Alright guys, long time no see.

Nice and good coffee.

35 grand?

Yeah, I heard you the first time. So you want me to borrow you 35 large?

Lad, can you hear old Gazzery? He wants me to borrow him 35 grand.

I was kind of hoping you wouldn't borrow. I thought maybe I could do a job

the old days.

Do you actually remember what happened on the last job?

Where's the fucking car, Gary? You better not fuck this up.

It's over there.

Gary, where's the driver?

You said you had it covered.

Sorry, lads.

Shit! You were supposed to wait for us on Belgrave! Engine running!

Yeah, but I didn't want to get a ticket, did I?

Are you fucking real?

We're robbing a post office, not fucking shopping!

Open the boot, you nutmeg! And hurry the fuck up!

Shit! Come on!

I've left the keys in the chippy.

Hold out, will you?

Thanks, Lee.

Get the fuck out of here!

Well, that explains the... Yeah.

I've rung everyone, Trey.

Everyone again.

Why don't you try one of those, um... Loan shark?

Yeah.

I've already thought about that, too.

So we'll end up to 100 grand.

There's no messy credit to it.

And no fucking about with references or any of that malarkey.

Simple handshakes how we do business around here.

So when was you looking to borrow it all by then?

Well, I mean as soon as... Sorry, mate. This is it.

Yes, Bones.

What is it?

George, you ain't got the dog. Can I kill him? No.

Don't kill him, you knob. Why not?

What do you mean, why not?

Because if you kill him, Bones...

I won't see a bloody penny, will I?

Yeah, but I know.

I've got to pay his mum a visit.

Yeah, we could go pay his old girl a visit.

But first, if you ain't got the money on him now, you break a leg.

Just a leg, Bones.

I know how creative you like to get. Just a leg?

Is that it?

Then what?

What if he don't cough up?

All right, I'll tell you what.

If you ain't paid the money by Thursday, you can kill him then, all right?

Happy? Lovely. Sweet. Now fuck off.

Sorry, mate. Where was we?

Um, it's not really an option.

I've tried everyone, Trey.

I spent the whole day ringing around. Honestly, it is a bloody nightmare.

Hey, Sal.

Have you seen Johnsy?

Yeah, love. I think he went to the gym.

Johnsy, listen, mate, I need a favour, yeah?

Yeah, come on.

What are you doing, boyo?

Have you washed your hands?

Are you eating a sandwich in the toilet?

Look, I need to borrow some dough. I'll pay it back. I promise.

Yeah, of course, mate. Come on.

How much do you need? Here.

No, no, no.

I need real money.

Look, the most I can borrow you is a score.

Here, mate.

I need 35 ,000.

You need... How much do you need?

35 ,000.

35 ,000 pounds. Fucking hell, guys. What's that for?

I've got to pay for some of Gran's care home fees. Look, I've got a couple of

weeks till she's out.

Out? I'm not being funny, Gaz, but she's going to die soon anyway.

She's getting on a bit, ain't she?

Look, I'm just saying, I don't know anyone that can nudge you that kind of

And that would speak to Sasha.

Sasha?

Mate, are you sure about this?

Yeah.

Sweet, it's my niece, innit?

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

It's exactly what I'm worried about.

If you would like to take a seat, my colleague will be with you shortly.

I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

Uncle!

What are you doing here?

How are you doing, sweetie?

How's your new job?

Insulting him?

Er, yeah.

Why are you here?

Oh, come on, don't be like that.

I haven't seen you in ages.

Yeah, I know.

Since I was 11.

Anyway, look, my mate Gaz here, he needs a little loan.

£35 ,000.

It's for, erm...

Home improvements, right guys?

Yeah, in my... whatever he said.

Yeah, I'll go grab the forms now and you can make an application.

What?

It kind of leaves you like now, like today.

How long's it going to take?

Well, it's for proof straight away. I mean, you are a homeowner though, right?

Well, not exactly.

OK, but do you have an account with us?

No, but...

I can open one, right? I mean, I've got ID.

Yeah, sure.

Is this all the ID you have?

I've got this one.

Really?

Shoplifting.

That went well, didn't it?

Well, what did you expect, Dad?

I mean, you gave me a load of red -letter final payments and a bloody

thing. Excuse me, Miss Bank Manager.

I'd like to borrow £35 ,000 just to let you know I'm a criminal who owes loads

of money. But don't worry. You can trust me. I'll pay you as long as I'm not in

prison. All right!

Look, man, I've still got the poker game tonight, all right?

I can still get the money.

No.

No, I can't. I told you.

Oh, come on, man. Look, let me do what I think.

It's not going to work.

It's my last chance, man.

Please, just let me do it, all right? It's not going to... Oh,

hi,

how are you?

I'm Gazza, I'm here for the game.

Who?

Gazza, I'm here for the game.

You mean Gary?

Same thing, you know, Gary, Gary, Gary.

No, it isn't. £1 ,000 minimum.

Yeah. You all right with that? Yeah, of course, of course.

100%. I'm in.

I'll raise you.

500.

Thousand.

Thousand.

Let's see what you got.

Not bad.

Not good enough.

So,

looks like you owe me... Eight grand.

Eight grand.

I think I...

You need the shitter.

On the right.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Good morning, Mr.

Buckles.

Have you... No.

No, I haven't.

Look, I'm here to tell Grant she has to leave, okay? And I hope you're happy

with it.

Oh, love.

Do you know, I'm awfully sorry this has happened, Mr. Buckles.

You don't care about this place.

You don't care about anyone but you.

So I'm going to take her home and I'm done with you.

Excuse me.

Where's Nan?

They're going out for the day. They'll be back in the evening.

All right.

Thanks.

Granny, you know, come find a piece of jerk around here. You've never had

already?

How did this man hear me? Now I know where he can get it. Down the road and

round the corner, and you lick off your finger.

Hi, everyone.

Blood for you!

Hello, Doctor.

Oh, hello, Gran.

Hello, Mrs Powell.

How are you two lovely ladies doing, huh?

The heart's still beating.

This is my grandson, Joshua.

He's upon vacation from Jamaica. Joshua?

And Winston.

He's a long -time friend of my son.

Pops in every now and then to look for me.

Gran, got to have a little chat today, yeah?

Well, I'm still waiting on that dandruff Gary.

Have you seen him?

I can't wait till I get my hands on him. No, I'm sure he'll be here soon. Look,

why don't I make you lovely ladies a nice cup of tea?

Thank you, darling. I love a cuppa.

Josh, go help him now. All right.

Yo, my brother.

Not sure if it'll work, but I have an idea.

Yeah.

What? Me just can't believe it, man.

You resemble me father so much.

Yeah, yeah.

So how you finding England, then?

Different. But all right, me guess.

Different to y 'all. You know about Jamaica?

You been there before?

Jamaica? Me?

Nah.

But I have heard of Bob Marley, though.

So how long you here for, then?

Till the mountain.

Grandpa passed a few weeks back, so I'm just comforting my granny, you know?

Sorry to hear that.

Here, let me make you a tea. Mm -mm, no tea, man, no tea.

The man did 92, though. A good inning's that.

92, huh? Mm -mm. Wow.

Still, I hope he passed peacefully.

You mad?

Granddad?

Peacefully?

Granddad was a big -time baller. I mean, I live with them calling.

Three million.

So your dad's banged up, yeah? He's in jail?

Mm -hmm.

And you reckon he looks like me?

Are you fucking mad? Let me get this right. You want to go to Jamaica, pose

this Jamaican yardie gangster, and then... Yeah, but I... Hold on, hold on.

Steal all his dough, and then hope to live.

I have tried to talk him out of it. You're losing the plot.

Guys, how hard can it be?

I mean, all I've got to do is learn the Jamaican accent.

I mean, even his sunset, I look exactly like him.

You can barely speak with a British accent, let alone a Jamaican one. Yeah,

sometimes, mate, I can barely understand you.

You know, I can kind of see a resemblance of a white man trying to

black man kind of way.

Look, it's worth a try, innit?

Three mil.

I don't know, Gaz.

I mean, the clue's in the name, innit?

Denton, kill man for fun, Powell.

Not happy, lucky, smiley.

Kill man for fun.

I mean, we play darts and snooker for fun. This guy, he kills people.

Yeah, but he's banged up.

Well, that's nothing to sing and dance about, is it? Look, murder, armed

robbery, kidnap, extortion, drug trafficking and other related offences.

Swearing.

I know, but by the time he's out, we'll be long gone anyway.

Did you just say we?

As in us?

Well, yeah, us.

We're a team.

We've done loads of jobs together.

Look, none of us are sane.

No, but we're not stupid either.

Are you having a laugh, Gaz?

Jamaica, the closest I've been to Jamaica is Brixton Market.

And even then, more recently, it's looking a bit more like Shoreditch. All

right, look, just say we were to go along with it.

How long we got?

Three weeks.

Three weeks?

Mate, you've got no chance.

Even if you could, and it's a massive, if you could, learn patio.

Patois.

What?

Jamaican called patois, not patio.

All right, well, whatever you want to call it. There is still a massive factor

in the way.

Well, what's that, then? You're bloody white.

Yeah, and?

Well, it's Jamaican, isn't it?

There's white people in Jamaica, you know.

Plus, he's been banged up for three years and nobody's seen him. He's not a

fucking pair of jeans, mate, is he? His colour's not going to fade.

Look, guys, I love you, mate, but this is definitely not going to work.

Oh, guys, please.

Please do this for me, yeah?

It's going to be grand.

Please.

Oh, this is nuts.

You better have a plan, guys. I mean it.

Right.

Call Kevin and Steve.

They'll want in. Tell them to be here seven tonight.

I've got a plan.

I've made my mind up.

I've made up my mind.

Keep my love strong and make it unbreakable.

I've made my mind up.

I've made up my mind.

Has anyone actually heard of Pete?

Yeah, the boy.

He's got to be able to talk. He's bloody singing, ain't he?

Excuse me, are you Jamaican?

I will look like to you.

What did he say?

What did he just bloody say?

Wait, how do you even know his name is Pete?

Because his name smells bad, Pete.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Hey, old star, we had a date.

See, now that sounds Jamaican.

Jamaican? That's halitosis.

Yeah, I'm done.

I'm finished.

I'm out.

Yeah.

Sorry, Gal.

I need another pint.

Hey.

How are you, mate?

Gal, how the fuck are you going to pull this off?

Not being funny, you ain't even got any black mate.

Well, one.

And he's got more whiting in than the both of us.

Humphrey.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I'm definitely hiding, mate. I've got messages, mate. England, mate. All this,

mate. Mate, hold that second, mate. Look.

I've been raving, mate. All about that stuff, mate. But if you're talking about

my ancestral heritage, I'm not in my life. Then, yeah, my parents come from

South Jamaica, but... I don't know. What?

Humphrey. What?

What are you going to do?

Are you mad?

There's got to be an easier way than this, surely.

Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping, you know, maybe you can help me.

Me?

I'm not Jamaican, am I?

No, but you're... Mixed race, but Nigerian and Irish. Not all mixed race

are from Jamaica. Oh, come on, Smitty. You've got black mates.

You've got Jamaican mates, yeah? I mean, you're working here, innit?

You play all that blah, blah stuff.

Yeah, but... Please.

I don't know, gal.

Look.

It's for me, Nan, yeah?

Please.

All right.

I might have something for you.

This is Winston's number. You met him at the care home.

I'll tell him to expect you.

Tomorrow.

Be there and be on time because I'm doing a massive favour for you, all

You're a diamond.

Just don't be late.

I will.

That's got to be the dumbest idea I've heard in my life.

Teach a white boy to be black.

And now go work.

You want me to teach you to be a Jamaican, to fool a next Jamaican into

you money in three weeks?

And now go happen.

Yeah, but I can do it, man. I know I can. That not gonna happen.

All right, look.

If we can... If I can pull this off, what if I put you 100 bags? Straight up,

no word of a lie.

On my nan's life.

What, honey?

100 ,000, you say?

Real, real money?

Look, man, I'm desperate.

Please.

Pat was not just a dialect.

It's a way of life and attitude.

You come with that laid -back island swagger, and you, my friend, you're not

a swagger.

Look, committee said you'd help me, Winston.

I'm desperate.

Please.

Please.

All right.

A favor for your favor.

My sister's sick of dating black boys.

She wants to try something different.

Mom! There's a white man at the door!

So what about once you go black, you never look back?

Well, she said once you go white, your credit is all right.

Him have a radio?

No.

Him have a pen and a clipboard?

No.

Him a police or immigration?

Not really.

What?

Me?

All you have to do is take her out on a date.

Easy as that.

Just entertain her, that's all.

Ah, you must be Gary.

If you can do that little favour for me, then I'm in.

Where my flowers at?

Where my chocolates even?

Please tell me say you're driving.

Well, no, I was thinking maybe you could... Don't worry about it.

I'll be on the ride.

Yes, sis.

Mm -hmm.

All right.

Yeah?

You sure?

What did she say? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Later, sis. Later.

Why my sister no easy, you know?

You no black eye, no bruises, and you have all your teeth in your head.

You never try no funny business, and you make her laugh.

But you never buy her no chocolate, not even a Snickers.

For the most part, it was a good evening.

So what now?

Now, my friend.

We turn you into a Germany I can.

Well, just here I can.

We are going to start with something simple.

I want you to go to the Caribbean shop and buy me a plantain.

It looks like a banana, but it's a plantain.

See?

Is that banana?

It's planted.

It's a banana.

Right, Mr. Gary.

Your first lesson in Jamaican patwa.

Yeah. Here's a list of some patwa sayings, yeah?

Wagwan.

Wagwan. Yeah, it's like I'm greeting.

Wagwan. Excuse me.

A real Jamaican.

Yes, sir.

Can you teach me how to speak Jamaican?

Yeah, you do.

Yeah.

Wagwan. Wagwan, my brethren.

Listen, brethren, move from in the mud.

Wow. Do you wear? Do you wear? No, no.

Where? Move in the mud. Thank you, man, so much.

Where? Move from in the mud. You're a mud man.

Where?

Where? Do I have to click before every? No, you don't have to click.

Me like your slippers.

Me like your trousers.

Me don't like your jumper and the dirt.

Gialis, isn't that like a sex drug or something?

Like the thing you take if you... Got it. I'm going to go for this little baby

right here.

Yo, yo, yo.

That's scotch bonnet.

Yeah, Mr. Thing, can you teach me Jamaican?

Are you a boner?

Sorry?

Excuse me, what did he just say?

Whatever he said is correct.

That was like Jemindian.

No, no, no, don't try so hard with that. But you're clicking all the time. Don't

worry about me, man. I'm a Jamaican. I can do that. Come on, Humphrey, man.

What?

You must know some Jamaican. Teach me something.

That clicking thing again.

Where?

Wagwan.

Wagwa? Frat.

Rotted. Where?

Fluffy.

Allow me alone, man.

Wagwan.

Listen to me now. Wagwan.

Wagwan. Mr.

Wagwan.

Wagwan. Like Wagamama. No, just say it. Wagwan.

No, don't screw up, man. This boy. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Wagwan.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That was not just annihilation.

Swagger.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Me and Denton.

Me and Denton.

Don't know.

Walk one.

Fucking hell, Wint. I can't do all that.

Yeah, man.

Me don't know.

What's that then?

Looks like scrambled eggs.

Lucky and selfish.

Our national dish.

Can I try some?

So this Benson Geezy here, you know him.

What's he like?

Kill man for fun.

Everyone in Jamaica know about him.

He used to be a serious bad, bad man.

I know him very well indeed.

He used to be.

Some things change, but...

I used to go to school with him back in Jamaica.

But then get mixed up with the wrong company.

A keep up badness.

We used to be best friends.

And we'd try and keep him on the straight path. But he went up in a jail.

Personally, me think so you're mad.

But if you're ready for die, who am I to try and stop you?

Still want my money, do I?

What? Even if I'm dead?

Yeah, man.

Me not mind spend dead people money.

Anywhere. Keep practicing your accent.

Yeah, but why do they call him Kill Man for... Actually, never mind.

Wagwan.

Me like gal.

Me like gal upon gal.

Me like fish.

Aki and salt fish.

Me like lemon.

Me love gal.

Me love the nightclub.

Me love the spinach.

Wicked, my youth.

Me like pom -pom.

Gal, before you go, you sure you want to go through with it?

I've got to.

It's for me grand.

Look, you'd do the same if you was me.

Right? That's just it.

I wouldn't.

You're a good man.

Thanks, mate.

Am I going to be all right?

Look, Dad, mate.

Just remember, whatever happens out there, we love you, man.

Stop worrying.

Relax yourself, man.

You get change on the plane, And when you land, you're Denton, Killman for

Powell. See him?

Yeah. You have everything, right?

Passport, money?

Yeah, yeah, I've got everything.

I think I'm ready.

See you there?

Right.

See you. Yeah, all right, my brother. See you, sir. Yeah, all right.

Sorry I'm late.

Go on, Gary.

May I come with you?

Might have to be taking investment, right?

Plus, we know all about Denton, so it makes sense.

Perhaps I can keep us both alive.

If there are any problems, just call us.

You know, if you get stabbed, shot, or killed. My cousin put in a call. They

said Denton get early release from prison.

So his driver and bodyguard are waiting for us at the airport, yeah? Yeah. Let's

go. See you later.

Later.

No bother with him.

But you're moving around the fire.

Now two drinks down a night.

Gonna make you my whole desire.

If you walk down the line.

I wanna hold you all night.

You give me feelings.

I wanna do all things.

You wanna know. You wanna know.

Yo, when are they?

You're supposed to meet, we're here.

We're here?

All right, all right, all right, cool.

Cool cop.

Let's go.

I don't know about this, Winston.

I mean, what if he... Shut up.

But what if he... Shut your mouth, Naman.

Everything is going to be all right.

Just nod your head and keep your face straight.

Denton never smile in public, and he never speak to people he don't know.

All right?

They're here.

Remember, you're Denton.

Flap.

Well, go on, General.

What the hell did he just say man?

But do we really need to celebrate?

Kill man of a party.

Bordery.

Invite the whole of Kingston.

Let them no man say that. Kill man arise.

Plop, plop.

Come back here. Come back here.

Fix up yourself, man.

Your den time.

Let's go.

Really, really, really loving me.

Yeah.

Where must I go?

Is there no place?

Mush, mush. I miss you so much. Come quickly now.

Mush, mush.

Yeah.

Yeah, I miss you too.

You're... Champagne.

Champagne. Nice to finally meet you.

Denton's girlfriend, right? My name is Wilka. I thought you said Friday.

Early release.

I'm here for a few days to make sure Denton's circled back in properly.

Part of his early release conditions.

You look something different.

What?

Different?

Nah, man.

We are chapbots.

Everything the same.

The ears.

The ears.

The nose.

Everything me.

I'm him.

I'm... I know it's been a while, but something's different.

That's it.

The teeth. What happened to the diamond, the gold, and the scar? What happened

to the scar across your forehead?

The scar is... Cosmetic.

They have all type of cosmetics in the system nowadays.

Even for the criminal then. He wanted the scars removed for job opportunities.

Job opportunity?

Yeah, man.

It make it look good so he can get early release.

And they take out most of the gold and the diamond from him teeth because it

causing too decay.

Okay, well, if you say so. The picnic will be so exciting at your home.

The what? The children.

Children? Daddy, daddy, daddy, where is your diamond jewelry and your

scarves? Where is your gold and silver?

I love the children you have there.

Thanks. God be taking them to mom's for the week.

Truth say we have plenty for ketchup on.

Plus the whale. Didn't want them in the way.

Yeah, man.

About the whale.

When can I get some sleep?

Been a long flight.

Me mash up.

From Miami?

It only take a hour.

Yeah.

Me think say the piloting did get lost.

We end up in China and... Anyway.

Me reach.

Tell me something.

How are you going at them there?

I'm no carnival yet.

You look like Janku now.

Look, when I go down to Tennessee, I'm going to buy a nice outfit for you.

Then you can take off those and give it back to whoever you borrowed it from.

You have everything thought out on your side?

Yeah, man. You sure?

Yes. All right. Meet us outside the club at 9 p .m., right?

© BF -WATCH TV

2021

When the dawn touched us, dawn just launched.

And now we make up them plans.

The dawn just launched.

I say the dawn arrived.

The dawn just launched. When the dawn just launched. Make up Babylon plans.

Let's go, let's go.

Now? Yes, ma 'am.

You want me to say big up out of the top, tell me how to play it, see?

Big up out of the top, tell me how to play it, see?

You feel me? I'm not afraid of no boy. Tell me how to play it. I'm not afraid

no boy.

You feel me?

I'm not afraid of no boy.

How the fuck is that? That's Bobo.

What the hell is a Popo?

You name Popo, you shot him brother.

Man, how did you know I was brother, man?

Then come shot him and you are him.

Don't worry.

We're not going to do anything here. You got too much backing and you're the

down.

He just want to let you know he hasn't forgotten.

Then who the hell is that?

You shot our cousin.

Man, I should have didn't.

I'll get it.

Shit.

I'm not drunk.

You know how many years the man there in prison?

Yeah? Something's not right with him. Him in a dance club. Nobody in a border

a club.

Blacker, may I tell you, something's not right.

I mean, wah -wah.

Everything blessed?

How come you're up so early?

Morning time we did used to, you know, lying and... Yeah, yeah. Me a go link up

with Winston for y 'all to do some business.

Then me come back and me... me service you.

Do what?

Check out the services, you know. Make sure your plumbing is christened Tink.

Okay, no problem. I'm coming down now.

Mush, mush.

I just got to pop out, but I'll be back soon for your check, my plumbing work.

All right.

Yes, my king.

Have I ever let you down?

Well, I'll go and call you later.

Yeah, don't worry yourself.

Yo!

What is?

Well, you said to go and conspire for you or whatever you called it. You said

undercover. Yeah, but me never said idiot.

Dressed in a winter coat and a winter hat and a beach in Jamaica.

Take it off!

That's right.

Oh, come on, Winston, man.

I can't stay there.

Man, she's trying to get her leg over, like, like every second.

Please, man.

Let me stay with you, man. It's not funny. Come on, please.

Please.

What's the plan?

Well, me find out, sir, that the execution of the papers is happening

afternoon at 4 p .m.

Yes, Winston.

See, that's what I'm talking about. I said if you... Hold on, hold on. Me

say I eat that.

Lunchtime meeting, I keep up.

Most of the family will be there to discuss the will. No way.

Man, I can't go to that. Please, just... We have to.

Screw it up, man. Please, Winston. Just make an excuse or something. You'll be

fine.

Stop worrying yourself.

We're in Jamaica.

You know where he is?

I don't know. He's downstairs.

My belly hurts.

You go ahead.

Make an excuse for me.

Tell them I'm sick.

I have a runny belly.

Oh.

So, as you are doing, you have to tie this downstairs.

No. Somebody else.

Never. Uncle.

Me just a ask a question, that's all.

Everything bum up, shit up.

Look, man, you want purgative.

You want a washout to loosen up.

Anyway, when I come now, man, you're hungry to kill me.

It's only for an hour to mush mush.

As soon as we finish, we can, you know, come alone time.

Come alone time?

Me and you?

Yeah, yeah. We're just gonna pop up to Winston to go see Tush.

To go see somebody and then we come back.

Okay. You're primed?

I'm not ready.

Look.

I don't know about this Winston man.

You're always complaining, man. Stop complaining.

You're in Jamaica, man. Just enjoy it.

What? How am I supposed to enjoy it?

You're in Jamaica, man. Relax.

That's our thing, man. We just, you know. Man, I can get shot.

You're not getting shot, man. Don't worry about that.

That's a minor thing.

It's all good.

It's all good.

It's a minor thing.

Where we going anyway?

Just be quiet.

I can't do it, man.

I gotta go home. Put back on the wig, man. I can't do it. Put back on the wig.

Put the wig back on, man.

Shit. Don't stress out yourself.

See?

You'll kill, man.

You're the baddest bad man in Jamaica. Fix up the thing, man.

Put the times to it. I'm gonna get killed.

I know it.

Winston, where are we?

Who lives here?

The shy. They saw us on the beach.

Search him out. Be clear.

You actually come?

Yeah, ma.

Mama, look up the dog, then.

It's been a long time, right?

Who are you?

I'm, uh, it, it, uh, I'm Kilman.

What's my birthmark?

I don't know.

My birthmark?

What's my birthmark?

Um,

um, uh, pony nipple.

If any of them turn you, then no.

Because Denton knows someone alive when he calls himself Killman, because I ate

it.

Oh, and by the way, I'm having a birthmark.

But at least not one number.

So who really are you?

I'm... Denton?

Denton? That was quick.

Hold on, Whit.

How did you get changed so fast? And I thought you said you had somewhere to

Winston.

Change?

What are you talking about?

And who is Winston?

Winston, you're... My what?

Who are you talking about?

Nothing. So, how about a mush -mush and a big smoochie?

You're up on me like uno as you see a dopey.

Post back foot.

Me never know sedent and have a twin.

Well, we better start talking before we make two phone calls.

No, no, no.

No, man, no calls.

Think something's a joke?

All right.

You want to tell her?

Or should I?

That's it.

I'm dead.

We're dead.

Me and you, Winston.

You and me, mate. We're finished.

What am I supposed to do about my gran?

Look, I'm not Denton.

I'm not Kilman.

Do you ever notice?

But who you and why you look like him?

It's a long, long story. What's happening, man? Quick.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

My name's Gary Buckle, and I'm from London.

Well done.

You're saying there's another me?

A killman imposter?

In my yard?

Well, unless you is the imposter and him are the real one.

Me look like a imposter?

Me no know.

Because him look like you, you look like him.

Me confused.

She don't tell you?

Hold on.

You been staying here, in my yard, with you?

Tell me them say I never use the whip.

Whip?

A whip, you say?

Tell me if a whip, you say. Whip?

Oh, forget about that.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't leave out none of the details.

I want the whole juice and the whip.

Me never know say you and them kinky miss is there.

Find him.

Kill him.

Bring him back to life.

And then kill him again.

There's only one kill man.

See?

How do we know?

Just say.

Five million.

US.

On him head.

Do you know what's going to happen?

We're going to die, Winston.

We've got to get out of here tonight.

He's going to fucking kill us if he gets out of prison.

Yo.

When?

You sure?

All right, keep me posted.

Denton's out.

And he knows.

What?

But you said he's getting out on Friday.

Well, he's out.

And he's put a bounty upon we head.

Five million US dollars. Well, technically upon your head.

Oh, fucking hell, Wins.

Five million.

I'd kill myself for that.

Oh, we're fucked.

Shit!

Look.

Let's get some food.

Food?

Are you listening to yourself?

I've got... Half of Jamaica's yard is after me.

And all you can think about is food.

I want to be sick.

What?

What is it, Winston?

Me have it.

Have what?

Tell me!

The whole of Jamaica now look for you, Gary.

They must look for Killman, right?

And? No.

They don't know who is the real one and who is the fake one.

That means, sir, so long as you is him, them now find you.

You're safe.

You mean we're safe?

No, no, no, no, no. Them are look for you.

I and I done safe.

Thanks very much, Winston. I feel so much better.

Everybody's scared of him, so they won't approach him.

All you got to do is stay low and you'll be okay.

And what about the money, Wentz?

What about the money for my grant?

We're supposed to sign that thing tomorrow, right?

Let me think about that.

Dead people can't spend money.

So let's just focus on staying alive.

Anyway, let's get some food.

Miss Jackson.

Long time I no see you man.

Yeah man, been a long time. Yeah, happy to see you, happy to see you.

Yeah man, happy to be home.

Pass them on, quick, quick.

But now, I know you better take the bed sheets.

Dream your dream.

About your coffee.

Look, we need to get out of here.

News travels fast.

Won't be long before they come looking for us. Well, for you. So get dressed.

Thank you, Winston.

I love you, Winston.

I'm going to be sick.

Where are we going, man?

To hide. I know that, but where?

Stop our question, man.

Somewhere safe.

Somewhere where no one don't know him, I think we look for him.

My cousin have a farm in Caymanus.

He hasn't seen Denton since he was a baby.

We definitely won't recognize him. Come, let's go.

You sure they won't recognize him?

Denton, what are you doing in there?

Denton! We have to look like sick men!

Hey!

Denton! What are you doing there, man?

Hey!

I want you to find Blacker.

Tell him I want to speak to him.

But don't hurt him.

Bring him to me. No.

Me not take not this stick.

I meet them cause them can kill man for fun.

Yes, General.

Them say you want see me.

You been by my side for how long now?

How long you know? Work for me.

I'm about 20. Don't blood -cloth speak when we talk.

You see it?

Shut your blood -cloth mouth.

What? How you mean?

I've trusted you with my life.

And many times you've saved it too.

You're a good man.

But this time... This time you fuck up. What? Me?

Pass me some.

Come out, me blood -clad beast.

Come out, me blood -clad beast.

That's right, boy, yeah?

Here. This is similar to what Killman is wearing today.

Just in case somebody spots you when they see him earlier. Yep.

We're too late.

What?

I thought you said four o 'clock.

Then don't get there early and sign the paper.

We're fucked!

What are we going to do now?

I don't know.

Winston, what are we going to do? Shut up, man.

I'm trying to think.

You have a good voice.

We never know you can sing.

Yeah. I used to be in a boy band.

I would have gone late, but too many arguments.

Like being married to four women.

You okay?

Yeah.

The heart is still ticking, right?

Beated. The heart is still beating.

I really tried, you know.

I really thought we were going to pull this off.

So sorry, man.

Don't be silly.

Everything will work out.

There's no place like Jamaica.

If not thy silent soldier, who not thy fool?

For I behold the wicked they coming to make their fear.

See them there?

Me not care about the Magga boy.

Left him.

The other one,

the fake one, the one that be killed, man.

The imposter.

We understand, man. We understand.

Good.

Catch him. Put him in blocker.

Now hurt him.

Me want kill both of them and feed them both to the pigs.

Just get them.

Get them.

I have it.

Ah, still gone fits up, mate.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I had to give it a try.

Anyway, man, I gotta go, yeah?

All right, I'll speak to you later.

What are we going to do, Wins?

And why are we even here?

Look, you said it was going to be all right.

But how?

Look, it's not like you did it for greed or for show -off.

It was for your grandmother.

Family is everything.

And I would have done the same thing.

Well, not the same thing.

I hear that thing, but, yeah, we get it.

Look at me, Winston.

I'm just a loser.

I've got no job, no money, no home.

And I can't even look after the one person I care about.

And I'm probably about to get me and you killed.

Me? No, sir. Not me.

Look, everything is going to be alright. Trust me.

They haven't even found us yet. And then...

That was close.

What are you

doing?

Trying to get some help.

Look who got us free from them.

It's the only way.

Look, go down there and bust a lamp. There's an old shed.

Hide in there till I'm gone.

Take my phone.

Take my phone.

I'll call you another phone. You save my name and number and tell me what to do.

Are you sure about this? I'm sure, yes.

I'm fine. Go, go, go!

Nobody left till you're fine.

What do you mean, fraud?

No, but a good fraud. Why are you proud? My heart is pure.

Hackney, London.

It's for my grandmother.

Your grandmother?

Yeah. What happened to your grandmother?

She... Well, I need to get some money to put her in a home, to get her out of

the home.

They're trying to kick her out. Her name's Mavis. So you're going to mess

with people's things to get money for your grandmother. Don't do it again.

Never. It's the last day.

Bring him up the top. Yeah.

It's the last day. Okay. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

if you black hey we never like you from beginning

Kill man heartless. Favor you as in favorite.

I got

you.

Let's go.

Hey.

Watch your mouth.

His blood clots over me.

I should have just cut off his hand and foot and leave him headless.

Kill man say he won't do it himself.

Blood clots saved by the beep.

But you don't know what. Don't worry yourself in the imposter.

Because when I come back, I will kill the two of you.

Soon, soon.

Adopt me, I tell you, you know.

So yeah, that's how we did it.

Oh, but there's more.

Much more.

I can't believe you did it, guys. You actually pulled it off.

I'm not just a pretty face, old boy.

Right, I'm off to the gents.

Order another drink.

What did I tell you?

I told you it was a fucking belter.

Good old Winston.

Man, he's one.

hell of a guy.

You see, all along I thought he was just helping me get the money for my nan.

Nah, he had his own plan to help his best friend.

Not sure if it's a good work, but I have an idea.

I used to go to school with him back in Jamaica, but then get mixed up with the

wrong company, a keep up badness.

We used to be best friends.

I mean, they try and keep him on the straight path, but he made up an idea.

He orchestrated everything. And I mean everything.

From the phone calls to the text messages, the whole damn setup.

Me being him, him being me.

They don't know who is the real one and who is the fake one.

Man,

even Blacker was in on it.

You see, Winston knew that as long as Denton was alive in Jamaica, he'd never

have to.

Never.

Denton wanted to leave his old life behind and start fresh with his family.

What a way to start fresh.

As for that three mil, well, it ended up being close to ten mil.

Minus the three mil he gave to me and Winston for all our hard work. That

I got 1 .5 mil.

Do you know what I can do with 1 .5 mil?

And as for old Mrs, I'm not your love and never will be, Hawthorne.

Yeah, well, she's probably signing on somewhere.

I bought the place and gave her a marching order.

Uh -huh.

My beautiful Gran.

She's found a new love for bashment music.

She's living her best life.

Although now she wants to go and live with Sean.

Let's not forget Mr. Big.

I paid him his money back.

With interest.

As for Denton and his loyal bodyguard, Blacker, well, the Jamaican headline

said, Notorious gangster Denton Kilman Fifon is dead.

Them say, apparently, his own goons made a terrible mistake.

They mistook him for the imposter, killed both him and Blacker, and fed

the pigs.

We know pigs love to yum everything.

All they recovered was Denton's diamond jewelry.

But we are no better.

Love is a powerful thing.

So long as our heart is beating, it's never too late to change.

Mine. Sorry. I... Sorry.

We're just filming. Just filming. Sorry. Sorry.

Be there. Tomorrow.

And don't be late.

Wagwan.

Yo!

Yo!

You're not counting to five, no?

Action!

You never count to five after action.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

We can see your head knocking over the wall.

Wait, wait, wait.

Quietly.

You can't see, you can't see.

You can't see, you can't see.

Yes, it's me, Johnsy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm fine.

Listen, you know that job you pulled off in Jamaica?

Yeah.

Well, I've got a great idea.

I think you're going to love it, mate.