Original subtitles

I'll sing you the story of my four soldiers.

Oh, Ettore!

This war gives us more hunger than glory.

Oh, Ettore!

Mercenaries of France or Spain because...

Oh, Ettore!

...With them we eat. Besides, Italy doesn't exist.

Oh, Ettore!

Alas! It doesn't exist.

It's still in pieces, I don't know why.

March on, march on, march on.

We're going to Barletta to face a challenge.

You look for warriors and find friars and gamblers.

You go around rummaging like a madman, and find a...

Everything is going badly. You follow a live man and find a dead one

or a follower of Allah with seven wives and a cannon.

You have to enlist thieves, losers and holy men,

and then perform miracles while you already risk being booed

because if we're not thirteen, we can't challenge the French.

I cry out and insist. Come with me.

Oh, Ettore!

But everyone answers with a gesture. "Take that!"

Oh, Ettore!

A woman follows me, but I run away because...

Oh, Ettore!

Glory is waiting for me, and it is jealous.

Oh, Ettore!

Honor, honor, honor,

with a helmet and spear I'll go off to save.

I will go, but

my stomach is empty, while my heart is not.

We'll eat something. You'll see.

If I don't eat, I'll faint.

Wait!

What is it? A quail, a mockingbird or a figpecker.

Figpecker with sage is very tasty!

- This time I centered it! - Yeah, right on my head.

It was a pine cone, not a figpecker!

I still haven't digested yesterday's pine cones!

- One pine nut each. - So much food!

Chew slowly. You won't get an indigestion and it'll last longer.

Why was it necessary to advance so far south?

We've been walking six days in the kingdom of Naples.

- Darn it! - These are depressed areas.

There are few wars and last little. A couple of months, if all goes well.

They are losers' wars, quick wars.

If I think of the wars up north... All that food at Fornovo! Tell him!

You Neapolitans don't like being away from home.

As soon as they smell the barn, they start running!

Take it easy. I'm the only Neapolitan here. Ettore is from Capua.

- Is Capua in Ireland? - It's a province. He's provincial!

But when we crossed the Garigliano, you both cried.

Are there any pine nuts left for tonight?

- Bracalone! - Here I am.

- Where were we? - Right away.

"When they arrived in Gaeta, the attack was over."

"So the army, headed by the best Italian soldier of fortune..."

Which is you! "...Trespassed into Campania."

"They were five and went forward, pushed by adventure, by glory..."

And by hunger!

Write! Bracalone, write!

On the fourth day, they saw a war near Barletta.

- What war? - Isn't that a war?

Yes, it's a war. It must have broken out now.

Maybe I'm so hungry I can't see, but it wasn't there this morning.

A fresh war!

They saw the rich French army attack the exhausted Spanish army.

Their leader knew immediately which side to be on.

That's for sure! Finally we can eat at the French camp!

Idiot! He is saying to go to the Spanish side.

No! You are the leader but we're tired of always fighting on the weaker side.

Graiano, what's so challenging about fighting on the stronger side?

You have fun, but we like winning too!

For once, let us fight a comfortable war.

- You want a comfortable war, too? - I don't refuse comfort.

Then write... write!

To please four army companions,

four miserable losers... meaning you. Write!

...He chose the French against his will.

- How are things going? - They're negotiating the price.

These French are well dressed!

Did you see the armor and helmets? They are all custom made.

- It's a bit tight at the jaw. - Jesus! Does it have a horn?

This horse is a beautiful breed! Do you feed it?

Do you give it wine? Huh? Yes?

Holy Mary! What are you doing to me?

- Gallop, Bracalone! - Show your shanks!

Hey, you! Come remove the mud from under my feet.

- Me? - You have some objection?

Of course not!

- Did you wash your hands, farmer? - Yes, yes.

Clean well.

Monsieur, let me drink, too.

For beggars like you, there's the ditch water!

Bracalone!

- You're not offended? - Why should I be? I'm a beggar!

Ditch water is good for the stomach, right?

Will you do me the favor of cleaning my friend's boots?

In fact!

- He's nice. - Now write, Bracalone.

- Excuse me... - And that is how

their swords were now at the service of the Spaniards.

How can we get in? The French army can't make it.

- How can we? - Don't be a philosopher! Go on!

Hey, you!

Where is the passage to enter Barletta?

Bracalone, peek out and see if they're still pulling.

- Why don't you? - I have to look ahead!

Everything alright out there?

Yes, everything is quiet.

- What happened? - They threw a urinal!

Let me go back!

Boiling oil!

Boiling oil! My gosh!

- It's not boiling. It's lukewarm. - It's pee. How disgusting!

These Spaniards are scums!

- Boiling oil is better! - Sure. It pours on my head!

They're Italian. Stop!

We'll make French meatballs out of them!

Let's see who is tougher!

I am tougher!

Hey! Let go!

This tower is the weakest point of the wall. Let's go.

Back up, Italians!

Ettore, he's taking it out on me! I won't fight!

I am a scribe. Ettore!

Take your hands off of Bracalone! Understand?

May I?

Please...

What should we do to get through?

Treason! The Italians are fighting with the Spaniards!

Up the ladder. Hurry!

- Come with me. Come on! - Wait. Don't leave me.

He must be the commander. I'll ask him how much he'll offer us.

No, wait. Things are looking badly. Let's go.

Hey, we're friends. Leave him to me!

This way, monsieur!

- Who is he? - A man with "cojones"!

Go! Get down! Get down! It's closed!

Attention! The ram is coming.

When I say three, open the door!

One! Two!

- Three! - Go!

Romanello! Fanfulla! Get five horses

and ropes with hooks!

Excuse me... Who are we fighting against?

That's it, Ettore! Go on!

Show them how we fight. Death to the French!

Make them run! Bravo!

- Victory! Victory! - Bravo!

Silence!

Now that the moment of biggest danger is over,

we thank who wanted to give us so much unhoped help.

We did it with pleasure, excellency!

We thank you, Lord.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name...

The Spanish backup is marching and will soon arrive.

We'll have to resist and sacrifice a bit more.

Here is your money.

It's a lot, but it won't be easy to spend.

- Why? Is it fake? - It's a city besieged for months.

There isn't much left to buy.

People are hungry. You'll have to make do.

You always take us to the right side, huh?

As you see, I share the privations of the whole city.

It is my daily meal. A glass of milk and an egg.

It's something, at least!

You will live here below, in the Spanish area.

Carellario will accompany you. He's my servant.

He is a good boy. Italian like you.

Milk and eggs! No wonder he looks sick! Spanish cuisine is heavy.

I'd like a paella Valencia style!

- I nominate you treasurer, Bracalone. - Thank you.

Let's not spend all this money.

Let's have a Puglia dinner in a local tavern.

The treasurer is already being thrifty.

- When are we eating? - Maybe the day after tomorrow.

They promised me some frog heads and a garlic clove.

- Who are they? - Those who reserved.

The captain wasn't kidding, huh?

Close by there is an old man who has a piece of hard bread.

- Good! Where is he? - But he isn't selling it.

He'll leave it as inheritance to his children.

Holy Mary, you take care of it.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.

Now he's even eating a second course!

Jesus, Joseph, Saint Ann and Mary, send the bread to my home.

Jesus, how time flies!

It would be a great honor for me if you came to my home.

Sometimes we find something.

It is very humid here and they come out at night.

- Who? - Be quiet!

- Here's one! - Yes. I saw one, too!

They're many, and climb up in a row. Hold still!

- They go so slowly! - They are snails!

No sense in taking advantage. Let's go.

If we add broth to the snail soup, there's enough for everyone.

If he insists...

Put out your horns because your mother will poke you.

She'll poke you on the balcony and will have a male child.

- Perfectly cooked! - Luckily I had parsley.

Some may not like snails, but everyone likes parsley.

- But if it's not well cooked... - I have my secret!

I know how to cook water as well.

It's a dish that satisfies hunger. The French consider them delicious.

They call them "lumacon"! Lumacon!

Listen, boy.

Tonight we saw that your Spanish captain

had a glass of milk and an egg.

- So what? - Well...

Where there's an egg, there has to be a chicken.

- And where there is milk... - There is also a cow!

- The captain has a secret pantry. - Really? Where?

- Up there. - Darn!

- Wow! - What nice eggs!

No! What are you doing? Stop, please!

- The eggs are marked. - Who is stealing them?

What do you do? Are you drinking them?

Count them. None are missing.

Saint Nicola, help me! Holy Mary!

Carellario!

- Yes, sir? - Is it right?

- What? - Is your name Carellario?

His name is Carellario, not Quaternario, Bracalone!

- Did you write? - I'm writing.

You earned a place in history tonight. You know why?

For your altruism. Why did you do it?

Today I saw you fight. You were magnificent!

Take me with you.

- How old are you? - 21.

- What? - Well, almost 18.

But I am strong. I challenge you to arm wrestling.

Some other time. I'm tired today.

Too bad! One day I'll be a soldier of fortune too.

- Where are you from? - From Barletta.

Carellario from Barletta. Do you like that?

Wait a minute.

- Laurel was needed. - Are you crazy? You need rosemary!

No! You need sage on pork!

We were about to come and call you.

For once, a good meal!

A good meal, yes!

But we'll eat it tomorrow, and not by ourselves.

- Meaning? - We'll take it to Carellario's home.

Invitations must be paid back.

Especially when you're very hungry.

- Alright? - Alright!

Bourgogne wine, from Cotes du Rhone, Maray and Pouilly from Chavignol,

special reserve of Malvasia, for the Duke of Nemours.

A splendid idea, La Motte, to oblige them to watch our meal.

On with the trumpets! Play! Announce!

A great game dish with mushroom and cucumber side dish.

Herb goat leg with potatoes.

If it could only become poison!

They should chock on the goat and all the potatoes!

Chopped chicken with stuffed olives.

I'm having a great time,

even if you don't look like you approve, noble Bayard.

Excuse me, but I can't be passionate with these exhibitions.

It's a useless provocation.

Know what, my friend? The Spaniards haven't eaten for months.

We'll get them because they're starving.

So it's not a bad idea to provoke them.

Roasted young wild boar, "Maid of Orleans" style,

seasoned with red wine.

What do we care?

We have our little pig, huh?

Ettore stole the pig!

Look! Where is he taking it? He'll eat it by himself?

Someone left the city!

At this table of pigs, one is missing. Here it is!

A homage from the city of Barletta.

This offense to me, the cousin of the king of France!

Stop, La Motte!

Let him go.

But this is enough.

We'll use other means.

These are the results of your second big gesture!

That cannon fires one shot every 3 hours, Mr. Fieramosca.

Up until now, the French were hesitant about using it.

That is why my orders were precise.

Don't respond to provocation for no reason whatsoever.

Our duty is to resist and wait for backup arrives.

- Without doing anything? - Absolutely nothing!

That cannon doesn't just kill soldiers, but also poor people.

This is not how war should be!

Will you go tell the French?

Yes, I'll go.

- What will you do? - I'll destroy the cannon.

It'll be your last big act. I'll bet my "cojones" on it!

Excellency, you'd better be careful about that.

We must be shrewd, Italian style!

- Italian style! - This farmer will be my guide.

- What a shrewd move! - Get on the horse, historian.

You'll tell me everything later.

Ettore, I'll come too! I don't want to miss this enterprise.

- You may need help. - Bracalone, stay here.

I'm sorry. I really wanted to go!

If you pull the horse out from under me, I become "hoarse"!

What about you, Romanello?

Thank you.

- Bracalone, write! - Don't worry.

I'll do a summary of the preceding battles.

This is it.

The patrols of the French cavalry pass by here.

Someone must check behind your back.

- If you want, I'll stay. - Yes, you stay.

- You stay with him too. - Alright.

- Graiano! - Huh?

When the tower burns, go right back to the city.

Yes.

The harvest was celebrated here.

Who knows. Maybe next year peace will be restored.

Next year you won't even have your field, if you don't wise up.

- Let's go. - Where?

To the French. They will win the war.

It'll be good for your field and for my purse.

But, a gentleman like you cannot betray!

You think? Get on the horse and let's go!

I don't betray.

Too bad for you!

Ettore, do you have a plan to destroy that cannon?

- There's a woman in danger. - What?

With all the dangers we face, you worry about that women?

On your knees in front of Kabul from Circassia.

As the poet says, "Surrender, warrior. You've fallen."

"I slipped!"

- "What're you doing? Standing?" - Are you stabbing a woman?

There's been a misunderstanding. I give up.

What a great ending!

Who sent you? Are you the knight of lost causes?

You see a man hitting a woman and defend the weaker sex?

If I had been Saint George, I'd have been on the dragon's side!

It's the first time a knight saves my life! How marvelous!

Too bad we are just actors and were rehearsing our new play.

Leonora, come here!

I immediately realized that you were...

- They think I... - Yes, yes!

I am Capoccio,

a comedian from the company of the famished.

I'm an acrobat

who skips over tables and skips meals!

Illusionist. I have the illusion of eating!

These famished ladies are the performers.

My niece, Leonora, Fiammetta and Stella. Say hello. Good girls.

We are going to the French camp for some performances.

Stella, hook the stallion up.

We have a pass from the Duke of Nemours.

I hope all of you come too.

- We aren't French. - Holy Mary! Spaniards!

- We're not Spanish, either. - Then what are you?

Try using your brain.

- We're in Italy, so what are we? - German.

Right. You guessed!

I always tell you, Ettore. You ask too many difficult questions.

Listen... You said you had a pass for the French camp.

Yes, I do.

Why do you ask me this question?

I had an idea, but...

- I need everyone's help. - Meaning?

Do you need another two comedians?

Right after dinner, Duke.

We'll fire another shot with this powerful and diabolic machine.

There's no other like it in the world, for distance and speed.

I put 25 armed men at the tower as guards.

And at the muzzle, two Germanic artillerymen, precise as a clock.

As of this morning, they didn't miss a shot.

- Frequency of firing? - Miraculous! One shot every 3 hours.

That tower is invincible. With such an arm,

Charles VIII would have conquered Italy in a month.

A man called Graiano d'Asti, who comes from Barletta,

says he has reserved information of extreme and urgent importance.

Let's go eat first. He can wait.

Come on, please. Curtain!

Soldiers of France, noble champions, forget the cannon

and catch your breath.

First work, and then fun!

Observe.

He is Amir, who is decapitating himself.

He took off his head and puts it on a tray.

But Amir can lose his head only for a moment.

It flies, flies, and flies...

The skull has returned to its place and seems quite sturdy.

You still haven't seen anything. The troop is impatient. Let's go!

Bravo!

Here's to you, good warriors, the lovely Fatima.

She'll get inside this crate and will be pierced by your swords

and then will return, more beautiful and haughty than before.

Get in the crate, Fatima.

Hurry up!

I close it.

Who will lend me a spit or a sword?

Thank you very much.

I owe you!

Your attention, please! Take this, Fatima!

You will die!

Another one! This one goes straight to the heart.

We'll bust her liver with this.

One, two... and three!

I made a mistake. I pierced her navel!

No problem, there's another sword.

Aren't there other swords? There are no more.

How horrible, Fatima!

Your attention! I'll go open the crate!

One, two...

Amazing. I don't believe my eyes!

Come out, Fatima.

Come out! Here she is!

An applause to the performers and thank you, audience.

Come to me, French soldiers.

Come to the clairvoyant and sorceress.

Come on, soldiers! In my crystal ball

I will read your destiny. Love, fortune, wealth.

And now, Amir the great will perform an awesome experiment.

The disappearance of a human body. Someone wants to step forward?

Here's a brave knight of France!

Bravo. Climb up here. Your body will disappear,

and you will enter the paradise of Allah. Can I go, Amir?

- Go! - Allah, carry on!

Body, disappear!

He magically goes into Allah's paradise.

One, two...

Three!

There's room for everyone in Allah's paradise!

- Amir, what does Allah say? - He said yes again.

Allah, carry on.

Body, disappear.

He magically goes into Allah's paradise.

Where is he?

- The barrel isn't open. - Allah will take care of it!

Allah, carry on. Body, disappear.

He magically goes into Allah's paradise.

Is there some other soldier who wants to disappear?

Hey, performer! Where are my soldiers?

In Allah's paradise.

It's not true!

They pushed us in the river!

- To arms! - Stop!

Everyone stop!

Come here!

You too, officer. Tell the facts.

They put us inside there and pushed us in the river. In the water!

- Who did it? - Him.

He's a liar, officer. You know why?

- Why? - Because I did it!

To arms! Get him!

Darn! He's always nervous!

So... how can we believe what you are saying?

I can't give you evidence, and don't know what means they'll use,

but I know their determination and their audacity.

I assure you they want to destroy that cannon.

Two men alone against a tower and 25 armed men?

Why should we believe you?

It could be a trap.

I am not a traitor. The information is exact.

If the information is exact, that makes you a traitor!

Bayard, you are a moralist!

If Your Highness is up to it,

it's time to aim the telescope at Barletta.

I'd love to.

If our besieged are sleeping, they'll have an ugly awakening!

Hurry, Fanfulla! You tower men, leave! Set the tower on fire!

Fiammetta, the equipment! Stella, the stallion! Leonora, you're transfixed?

The French will send backup! Go!

- Go! Run away! - Leonora, come help us!

Help them!

- We're asphyxiating! - The cannon is destroyed.

- You got costumes and mannequins? - Leave the stuff. Let's go!

Where is the crystal ball? I can't find it!

- Who knows where your head is! - Ettore, Goodbye! Will we meet again?

The French are coming!

- On our horses! - Ettore!

Well? Wasn't the information exact?

You were right, Graiano d'Asti, you are a real traitor.

- My compliments! - We got here late. Your fault.

We wasted time at the campsite.

I still have the urge to hang someone.

Excellent idea, La Motte. It'll bring my good mood back!

- I'm sorry for you. - Did you hear?

These Italians are ironical even when they're about to die!

Monsieur... I am sorry for you!

- Do you feed the chickens? - Yes. Yes.

- What is it now? - It's the "te deum" to give thanks

for the destruction of the French cannon.

- Let's go to church! - Let's thank the Lord!

How ungrateful! They always thank God!

Isn't Graiano here? He was to return when the tower burned.

- We haven't seen him. - Something happened to him.

Let's look for him, Bracalone. You stay here.

- I know nothing! I'm innocent! - What happened?

The French chased me and I jumped into the water.

- Where is Graiano? - Who?

- My friend, the Italian knight. - That one?

You take care of it, Bracalone.

Were you looking for him?

Yes, it was him.

They got the actresses too. They gambled them.

La Motte, Villefort and La Palisse won them. Three devils!

- Where are these devils? - At the seashore.

They are gentlemen. They don't mingle with soldiers.

How can we get there?

We'll have fun. You'll see! Who wins, gets first choice.

Look at the mannequin that the performers used!

- Performers? What are you saying? - Just worry about writing!

Are you enjoying the performance?

Later we'll take care of you.

I swear you will be satisfied, beauties!

You, haughty lady,

will belong to the winner!

All together, charge!

This is done, too!

Thank you, Ettore! This is the second time you save my life.

I love you and am yours forever.

How can I say it, master Fieramosca,

that gentlemen who've become prisoners cannot be hung?

These are the laws of chivalry.

Don't worry.

You will be treated according to your lineage.

I never doubted your correct behavior.

Only gentlemen should fight wars.

You're wrong in using mercenary oafs without a homeland.

I would hold back my tongue, sir.

Even if I comprehend your anger for having fallen from horseback.

With deceit!

What else can the Italians do?

They are soldiers of fortune, avid, scoundrels, and traitors.

They are Italians, poor things!

Italians may be poor,

but they aren't either avid, or scoundrels. Nor traitors!

- Pull out your swords! - You can't.

Knights can only fight with other knights.

Those are the rules. There will be no challenge.

Sir, backup landed in Taranto and are arriving.

- We must resist another 3 days. - Three days?

It could be the solution!

Sir La Motte! A man is a man, even without a horse.

Accept my challenge,

or I'll be obliged, as a poor Italian to call you a chicken!

There's been a public offense. The Italians launched a challenge.

Not accepting it could be

infamy for his Majesty the King of France,

and a dishonor for you, gentlemen.

I will ask our illustrious adversary, Duke of Nemours,

to grant a truce to prepare the clash.

It will take three days. What do you say?

Surely the duke will grant the truce, if it's a matter of honor.

How will we solve it?

I am Gonzalo Pedro of Guadarrama,

regent of Naples and grand captain of King Ferdinand!

I have a right to invest whoever I want.

Paredes, my sword!

Should I become a knight, too?

The choice is up to you. How many adversary knights do you want?

- As many as are here! Let's go! - Be quiet! Well?

In three days it will be the second Friday of February.

The 13th. It will be an auspicious number.

13 against 13. That is my proposal.

Alright. I will add 9 of my men,

the best of the Spanish cavalry.

We will all be Italian! We were offended, not the Spaniards.

13 Italian clowns against 13 French chickens.

13 brings bad luck! Where'll we find 13 madmen like us?

- You jinx, shut up! - Alright.

As you wish. On your knees!

- Where do you come from? - What?

- Where the devil were you born? - In Capua, I think.

Fieramosca from Capua, join your hands as a sign of submission.

Now you will receive the investiture, the sword on your shoulder,

and a small slap. Paredes, slap.

- Nobody slaps me! - It was the investiture slap!

The only slap that a knight must not return. It's the ceremony!

Oh, excuse me!

I didn't know. Certain things should be told before.

- Did you get hurt? - No.

- Go on, Paredes! - Careful. His hand is heavy.

He's from the north. I come after.

This time I'll bet my "cojones", too!

The Italians have no chance.

What do we care? As long as the 3 days go by!

It's a big act. They're doing it to scare us!

They're doing a good job.

Citizens of Barletta! Italians!

Ettore Fieramosca needs very angry people.

Offer your arm!

Don't you want the honor of being killed with the 13?

I said it. 13 brings bad luck!

Look. They're all running away!

We'll never find another 9 madmen like us,

willing to be ripped apart by those beasts!

I'll tell you what is needed!

We should call Mariano from Trani.

Heaven forbid!

Our drama would become a tragedy for the French!

Mariano from Trani, why aren't you here with us?

- Why? - He will be!

Someone call tell us where Mariano is.

You're looking for Mariano from Trani here?

Holy Mary, I'd love for my Marianino to be here!

He's always around. He's called here, he's called there...

They don't even leave him alone on Sundays!

With his dear mother! I see him once every 2 or 3 years.

We failed.

- Want to be put on the list? - What list?

There are five requests before yours.

First the liberation of the Holy Sepulcher, then the Turks...

- Where is he right now? - Killing the fierce Saladin.

Scoundrels! Sons of bitches!

Gambling bets must be paid!

Next time I'll kick you out!

Look at that! Miale from Milazzo!

If he's here, so is his brother Riccio.

- They can't say no to me. - Is he called "maiale" like a pig?

I said Miale!

Who doesn't want to bet, can go. No reason to be here.

The house is winning! Play!

May the devil get whoever doesn't bet against me!

My friend, Fieramosca, you don't need to talk.

If you've come for the challenge, I don't hear you.

I have retired and live an honest life as a gambler.

If they offended your mothers and all of Italy, I don't care!

You have noble ideals! But we're only here to gamble, right?

- If you want to play... - Later.

- We'll take a look first. - Place your bet!

You can't win with either your eyes or your imagination.

Over 10, the house wins. Less than 10, you win.

12! The house won!

Place your bets. Who doesn't gamble is a bastard and a coward.

Go on, place your bet!

11!

Who doesn't gamble and finds excuses

is a cuckold and stinks!

Who plays with Miale from Milazzo ends up rich or crazy.

- These dice are loaded. - They're loaded?

I want my money back!

You have a quick hand only with dice!

If you want our help, you must side with us.

Too bad for you!

You want help?

- You've decided? - Yes!

Will you have your brother Riccio come, too?

- Riccio is in jail but he's innocent. - We'll get him out.

- Promise? - Yes, I promise!

Watch out! I should watch out!

You'll pay for this!

Bravo! Long live Capua!

One on my behalf too! Show them who we are!

Watch out!

If I were fire, I'd burn the world. If I were the sea, I'd flood it.

- What are you saying? - I'm writing in verse. Darn it!

You'll pay for this!

I've paid you. Alright?

Listen. My brother Riccio says that he likes it in prison.

How will you convince him to leave?

We convinced you, and we'll convince him. Come.

Riccio from Milazzo!

To your sister! Riccio from Milazzo!

Look outside. We brought something nice. Riccio from Milazzo!

- Who is it? - It's for you. Drink to our health.

- I'm already drunk. - Brother!

- Toast to the Italians' victory. - You are crazy!

They're already betting here. You're 20 to 1. I bet on the French.

- He's a patriot! - Then toast to the French.

- Break a leg. - Thank you.

What happened to him?

Riccio, my brother!

If an hour goes by, the antidote won't work anymore.

Let's wait for the friars to leave.

Here he is!

- He's so handsome! He seems alive. - He is alive!

The poisoned wine gave him an apparent death.

Two drops of antidote in the nose and he'll jump back to life!

- But it must be done within an hour. - We'll be one more man.

We'll never reach 13! Never! Never!

- Let's take the corpse away. - Don't say that. It brings bad luck!

I mean, let's take the dead man... Let's take him away!

- Don't hurt him. - My brother is sensitive.

You ugly scums, jackals! I caught you!

- He's the fifth corpse you steal! - Ludovico!

Who are you? Why do you know my name?

Only one priest uses a stone rosary on wire as a weapon.

This is a heavy religion!

Ludovico from Rieti.

Fieramosca!

How shameful! I left you a soldier, and I find you a corpse thief.

How could you stoop so low?

You're mistaken. I accompanied Miale to give his brother a last goodbye.

Ludovico from Rieti, best swordsman at the service of the Sforzas.

Before converting to non-violence.

- Imagine if he hadn't converted! - May I embrace you?

With you alongside of us, we can't lose.

I heard about this challenge, but I can't. Don't insist.

Come. I want to show you something.

Follow me.

Meanwhile, you pray for the dead man.

If you call him that again, I'll take it as an offense!

I'll give him two drops of antidote now.

We can't see anything, not even if we curse!

- You can't. We're in church! - You're right, by God!

Let's move over where there is more light.

We'll give him three, so he will wake up better.

- Light a candle. - Get the lantern!

- If we don't hurry, he will die! - No, poor devil!

Go with the first one, the second... To hell with being stingy!

- Where is the dead man? - What?

He was here! It couldn't have had an effect, I didn't give it to him.

- What saint is it? - Saint Crispiano.

There. It's where I hung up my sword.

So lovely and so useless!

I'm sorry, but I made a vow.

That of paying with faith, for my past as a sinner.

- Too bad! - Yes...

If Saint Crispiano ordered me to pick it up again...

But he should tell me that.

- Why? Does he speak? - Yes, once he spoke.

He cried out, "Fight! Fight!"

Everyone ran to arms, even the bishop!

- When? - 400 years ago.

Since then, he's never opened his mouth again.

He's not a very talkative saint!

However, I don't forget friends. I will be alongside you anyway.

- Thank you. I knew it! - With my prayers.

- Right! - They stole the dead man!

- What? - They really stole him!

- They steal dead men in church? - Yes, it's the castle maniac.

He steals my corpses. Ettore! Where are you going?

Fanfulla, get the drops and give them to him.

- Yes. - Come on!

Where are you going? He is a dangerous madman.

If I have the few I find stolen...

Brother Ludovico! What's the castle maniac do with the corpses?

- Chops them up and studies them. - Hurry, or you'll find him dead!

If he cuts him up alive, he'll feel everything!

It will be a pleasure working on such a harmonious anatomy.

Give me the saw. The biggest one.

What strange teeth for a dead man!

Pliers!

Where is he? Where'd they take him? Give me what remains of my brother!

Move, or I'll kill you!

Riccio is alive!

Luckily, I realized in time that it was an apparent death!

- From his teeth. - My brother.

He's an idiot. He wants to buy my future dead body.

- I will live 100 years! - He pulled one of your teeth!

Damn bastard!

Fury is bad for you, son.

I'll have the pleasure of disarming you, if you chivalrously attack me.

I'd like to be the first.

You may be a great swordsman, but a bit presumptuous.

On guard!

Holy Mary!

Men of science are not made for arms.

I will be obliged to contradict you, Knight Fieramosca.

Bravo! For being a man of science, bravo!

I keep in practice. "Mens sana in corpore sano".

Bravo to you, too!

This is the Albimonte from Peretola hit!

Lord of Badesse and Duke of Filettole. I am here to serve you.

As you see, I know how to block it too.

At this point, it's not a good idea to continue.

Friends, I've the pleasure of introducing Albimonte from Peretola.

One of the greatest swordsmen of Italy.

With him at our side, it will be a sure victory.

Careful, Fieramosca. You're about to make a big mistake.

I can imagine what you'll ask me, and my answer is no.

- I am only dedicated to science now. - Everyone changes their trade here!

Allow me to say that I don't agree with that challenge.

We should be ashamed of being Italians.

See this effigy?

He is Italian, and is ridiculing us in front of the whole world!

- Who is he? - Leonardo da Vinci.

He's a madman! You judge, please.

Anatomic madness on the muscle tissues and...

The flight of man! That lunatic states

that man...

can fly like a goldfinch.

It's not with a challenge that we'll win back Italy's honor,

but in proving that Leonardo's crazy theories are false.

Want to bet?

If it will be proven that Leonardo's theories are exact,

and that man can fly,

I'll abandon science and fight with you. You have Albimonte's word!

The first day has gone by, and we've only found two.

Miale from Milazzo and his drunken brother.

- We'll never make it. - It would take a miracle!

When we want a miracle, we should go to church, huh?

He stole everything. The gold, the vows, candlesticks.

If it wasn't one of your men, then it was Salomone from Calabria.

That scum is stripping all the churches of Puglia.

In Bari he even stole the bishop's throne!

He's a heretic, and nobody can catch him red-handed.

- Nobody ever saw his face. - Salomone, you said?

Yes, he's worse than an eel.

- He didn't leave anything? - Nothing!

- Salomone from Calabria? - From Cavorà, precisely.

You want to steal? Go ahead. You'll go to hell.

But respect the objects of the Church!

- I think he's still in this area. - Let's hope so!

When the Mass is over I'll get a club and if Heaven helps me find him...

- Praised be Jesus Christ. - May He always be praised.

I'll bust his skull!

Don't move. They are getting ready to have Saint Crispiano talk.

- I'll take care of Salomone. - Amen.

Easy! Don't pull! I have delicate bones.

- You'll break me in half! - Pull the rope up.

Ugly man from Milazzo! You're breaking me!

Better if I break you, than you break yourself falling from up there.

- Done! - If Brother Ludovico hears us,

he'll bust our heads! - He isn't Mariano from Trani!

Don't say that name in a sacred place!

- Does this rope hold up? - Yes, it does!

What did Mariano from Trani do that is so special?

- Didn't you read Tasso or Ariosto? - I didn't.

- Neither did I! - What did he do?

Attila, Richard the Lionheart, Julius Caesar and Hannibal,

all together are bullshit compared to Mariano from Trani.

Don't make noise, wait for nightfall. When you talk in the funnel,

make a rough voice, or Brother Ludovico won't fall for it.

Oh God, I forgot the words of Saint Crispiano!

Just say, "Fight! Fight!" You can't go wrong.

Alright... Fight! Fight!

When will I get there? I'm in Paradise here.

Instead of being Saint Crispiano, I'll be the Almighty Father!

- Did the Neapolitan get there? - Everything is fine!

Saint Crispiano, help me. Saint Crispiano, hear my prayer.

Inspire him, convince him, have him understand.

I don't want to go there. I want to stay here.

Saint Crispiano, you and your other saint friends,

- I don't want to become a Muslim! - Stop complaining!

You don't know Giovenale. He'll send us all to hell!

Of course I know him! He's the shame of Christianity!

That dirty man who lives with seven concubines

and has a horde of illegitimate children.

- Let's go. - He read Mohammed's Koran

and wants us to become Muslim, all seven of us!

I'll go talk to him.

You must come right away. The Koran is already in my hands!

What do you want? Why are you here?

I'm praying to the Lord, everyone is betting against us!

If Ettore sent you to convince me, he's on the wrong track.

Oh, no! We know that if Saint Crispiano doesn't talk...

But I heard this poor woman.

Is her husband's name Giovenale?

- Yes. - The Vetralla massacre man?

Why? Are you getting an idea?

Me? No!

- Is it for me? - Not really.

- You must have it stolen. - Why?

Because this is to attract attention.

Before stealing that necklace, Salomone must rip her head off!

No, Leonora is a good actress, she'll do the part I taught her.

Oh, God! Did you hear, Uncle? He complimented me!

- "Did you hear, Uncle?" - Ettore loves me!

- The necklace! - See what a light hand?

I need a shrewd man and a quick hand like Salomone.

I know what he's like.

He can't say no to me.

It's a great honor for me to know you and your boat, Salomone of Cavorà.

May I get on board?

Who remains silent, agrees, so I'll get on. I'm coming down.

I can see an anxious question in your eyes.

Why did I come to see you?

I'll tell you right away, Salomone.

I need your invincible arm

in the great challenge against the French knights.

I heard that for a while now, you dedicate your time

to the noble and peaceful art of fishing.

Using all your shrewdness to have it become more fruitful

and more abundant. Here it is. Look who's here!

But I take the liberty of insisting.

You stole this, Salomone.

Now that you let out steam, I'll report you for theft.

- Unless you join us. - You're mistaken!

You're a bit rough, aren't you?

But I will be very patient. I won't send you to prison!

- Now you are unemployed. - Alright. You convinced me.

I've always hated the Spaniards.

Spaniards? Our enemies are the French!

What did I say? I always hated the French!

- I believe you. - Ettore! Ettore!

With all the problems we have, you're going for a swim?

I found Giovenale, the Vetralla massacre man.

- If he comes too, we're seven. - With him, it makes eight.

Grapes!

It's not ripe! It should be picked in 24 hours!

- I didn't know. - You, Giuseppa...

You're Giuseppa, right?

To become a perfect Muslim, you must learn to be quiet!

Come on! I don't want to become a Muslim!

- We do! - How else can I say it?

Don't say it!

Will you get this in your head?

Only Mohammed's faith

can allow me to marry all seven of you!

Shouldn't we make this situation legal?

- Here. - Shouldn't we give a father

to these children?

Dad, how many men's guts did you rip open in Vetralla?

Those were different times.

I was a boy. If a fly flew in front of my nose, I caused a tragedy.

To arms, Dad! People are coming. They're friars!

Damn it! Everyone to their fighting posts!

It's that damn Inquisition! They found my hideout.

Yes. I'll put this pot back on! To arms!

- What a bad temperament! - You call it temperament?

In Vetralla he had 100 of Pope Borgia's soldiers explode.

- How do you know? - I was there.

Stop, brother! We are here for your own good.

- What do you want? - The Pope sends us.

Pope Borgia sends us.

It's impossible! I've a terrible relationship with him.

But he cares for you, and sends us to take an interest

in your desire to become a Muslim.

- How did he find out? - The Pope knows everything!

The Pope sees and provides. Let's talk about it inside.

He authorizes you to become Muslim without going to hell.

And he entrusted us to give you a special notice

that he himself wrote out

with his authorization. - Give it to me!

- The Church wants something back. - I know!

You must give a small offering, something small.

To show your gratitude, you'll have to fight against

the heretic French who offended some Italian knights.

- The Pope doesn't care, he's Spanish! - The Pope is the Pope!

He is above the parts.

So what does he care about Italians, if he's above the parts?

I don't know if the Pope cares about Italians...

- Do you want to become a Muslim? - Yes.

Then accept the conditions. It's the only way the Pope will authorize you.

- The Pope authorizes him? - Yes. He received authorization!

- To become a Muslim? - Yes, with seven wives!

But I don't want to, even if the Pope decided.

Don't annoy me!

Tell me something.

How many friars are there?

- Six. - Six?

Answer properly.

Did they ask for something in exchange?

Yes.

They told him he has to fight

in the challenge against the French.

It's them! It's them. Damn them!

Saint Crispiano, did you see what they did?

Those disbelievers! Scoundrels!

Saint Crispiano, tell me what I should do!

Answer me! What should I do?

Fight! Fight!

- Fight! - Miracle! Miracle!

Fight!

Darn it! Oh, gosh!

- Oh, God! - Madonna of Carmine!

- He spoke! - Who fell?

I don't want to know. I don't care. He spoke!

Fight, Ludovico from Rieti!

Yes, but first I must fix someone up!

Thank you, father.

Where are the French priests? I'll eat them!

- For the love of my beloved Pope... - Bravo... Calm down!

Tomorrow you'll fight alongside the greatest Italian knights.

Ettore, Fanfulla, Romanello,

Miale, Riccio... - Who are they? I don't know them.

I know them!

For Saint Crispiano,

I’ll bust you! I'll kill all of you!

For Saint Crispiano!

- I'll destroy you! - Who is he?

A French monk who doesn't want us to reach this agreement.

You ugly friar, you're just a redneck!

Look from what pulpit the sermon is coming from!

Filthy, excommunicated bastard! I'll show you!

- Why are you rolling? - You're the one rolling.

Stop!

Here! Take this!

Keep your hands off my friars! Here I am! Did you like it?

- Imbecile. They're not friars. - What?

- The Pope sent them to me! - Go fuc...

Giovenale, you are really stubborn!

Pope Borgia has many children and didn't become Muslim.

So you made a fool of me!

You can't treat poor people like this!

- Leonardo! - Look at how he's flying!

Who is it? The Archangel Gabriel?

- Leonardo! - Miracle! Miracle!

What miracle? That's Albimonte flying!

Leonardo Da Vinci, wherever you are, I publicly say you're right.

Man flies!

He did it!

Friends, Italy's honor has been saved.

Man flies!

He ended up like Lucifer, right, priest?

See? Leonardo took revenge.

There are still some touchups to do.

For someone who doesn't believe, you've done enough!

- But you lost your bet. - I'll pay. I am at your disposal.

- If you still want me with you. - Like old times!

You're going against the French, too? Will you take us to see the war?

I will fight for you.

I will cause a massacre!

It will be worse than Vetralla!

You'll surely win. Dad is better than Mariano of Trani.

- Even children know him! - It's none of your business.

Now join your hands as an act of submission.

I'll try not to hurt you,

but remember that it's the only slap that must not be returned.

Is that clear?

Master Fieramosca, take me with you. Today I will be 18.

A little at a time, I have to start being a soldier!

I feel a lot safer with you.

Only a few hours are left. With me, you're eleven.

Take him and me, and we'll be twelve.

He isn't too young, and I'm not old yet.

Even if I'm not very familiar with war...

Look at my hand.

The line of life isn't very short!

Captain, we are twelve! There are another two here.

Only six hours are left.

If only Mariano from Trani would return!

Yes, but he's too far away.

The challenge will not be held if he doesn't find the 13th man.

- Bless these. - Why?

Look.

Our lances will be longer.

I had them made by a trusted gunsmith.

With these, we'll be the ones to attack first.

The French with short lances will end up on the ground!

This...

is a miracle! Who are you? Where do you come from?

Will you fight with us?

Tell me who you are.

No? I don't like mysteries! Come on!

So I imagined! Do you think you're Joan of Arc?

You guessed. I performed it many times.

I know the part by heart. I'll do better than her. You'll see!

No, we won't see anything, Leonora!

You aren't knights, either.

You're ordinary persons, you're people of all kinds.

But a people without a woman, what sort of people is it?

Those are beautiful words, you know?

Even more beautiful is the woman who said them.

Now go home, Leonora. Women are important...

but they can't go to war.

- Well? - It's obvious. They'll never come.

- The usual Italians! - Chickens!

Fieramosca from Capua,

Bracalone from Naples,

Albimonte from Peretola,

Capoccio from Rome,

Ludovico from Rieti,

Giovenale from Vetralla,

Fanfulla from Lodi,

Romanello from Forlì, Carellario from Barletta,

Riccio from Milazzo, Miale from Milazzo,

Salomone from Cavorà

and...

Who is the last one?

They are thirteen. They made it!

Sir, our backup is coming.

Really? Go!

- Backup is coming. Let's go. - Good!

Gentlemen!

I just found out that the backup I was waiting for has arrived.

The three days of truce served their purpose.

- What do you mean? - There won't be challenges or tournaments, nor other nonsense.

I'll attack the French in an open field.

- I order you not to leave the city. - It's too late!

You are stubborn, Fieramosca.

You are thirteen, it's true,

but you only represent yourselves,

your personal pride,

your taste for showing off, your bragging.

What's the sense of fighting? For what reason?

Captain Guadarrama,

we are soldiers of fortune,

but this time we are fighting for free.

Each of us has an aim,

and we'll fight at all costs.

Even against your soldiers, if they won't open the door.

Please, get out of the way. We have to get by.

Pirates, charlatans,

gamblers, villains.

Even a boy and a friar!

However, men like you are rare merchandize.

I accept the risk. I offer you what I can. Two hours.

And I will be honored to be with you on the field

as second competition judge.

The door!

- I'll bet my "cojones". - Captain...

how many do you have?

Almost in time.

But on time!

A draft will be enough

to have them fall.

Let's hurry. I didn't have breakfast.

Before selling the hide, you must kill the bear, La Motte.

I don't see bears around here.

I see a bunch of sheep.

A bunch of dreary sheep!

Not even one must come out alive!

So help me God! My gosh!

What are you doing?

Darn my lousy luck!

Why are these things done on horseback and not on foot?

I thought it was a big gesture, but it's becoming a farce!

Enough! I'm sorry, gentlemen,

but the challenge cannot take place. You are only twelve.

Mariano is my name, Trani is my feud.

I ask to fight against the French.

- Mariano is here! - La Motte, good night!

We are thirteen now, gentlemen!

Alright, the field is yours. A battle to the last drop of blood.

You know the rules. Lance, spear, club, and every other weapon,

until death or surrender. May God help you!

Keep your lances low or they'll notice they're longer.

May the best side win!

According to rule of knight tournaments,

the adversaries exchange lances.

They are longer and even blessed, and they get them!

All we needed was the exchange of lances!

It's the rule of chivalry! Now we are knights.

It's that...

They will chivalrously pierce us like chickens!

Villefort, De Guises,

La Palisse, Chantilly,

Saint-Etienne,

D'Anjou,

Beauregard,

Chatelain, De Vigny,

Valois, La Foret,

La Motte.

Italians!

The longer lances work!

12 on the ground and only Ettore on horseback. Is there glue on his ass?

My bones are aching!

Cuckolds! Sons of bitches!

Who struck me? Show yourself!

Come forward, if you have the courage.

I am Mariano of Trani.

- Come on! Stand up! - Are they already back?

Go!

The two of us, Ettore!

Fight with me! I am Riccio of Milazzo,

and I will destroy you!

Cross irons with me. I am Mariano of Trani!

- Next! - I'll come!

No, you're staying here!

Come. I'll wait for you here.

Come forward, coward!

Come on, felon!

Where shall I pierce you?

I'm Mariano of Trani. Escape, before I kill you.

What a blow! I give up!

You didn't realize who I am?

- Go away! - Alright. I'm going.

Mariano of Trani!

What about all your enterprises that the ballad-singers narrated?

I never fought with anyone.

I paid Ariosto and Tasso to make up my victories.

With the reputation I'd bought, everyone fled!

I was off to a good start here too! Ignorant! You didn't read Tasso?

Alright. Forget it.

- Southerner! - There's been a misunderstanding.

- Do you surrender? - No!

Do you surrender? I didn't hear!

- Do you surrender? - Yes!

I didn't hear.

Do you surrender?

- Yes, I surrender. - I didn't hear very well!

I surrender!

You don't hear very well?

Can you hear now? Can you hear now?

You're being a big shot with the kid, huh?

- I surrender. - What?

- I surrender! - I didn't hear very well!

I appeal to the laws of chivalry.

Come here, French soldier. I ask a favor of you.

I have a letter for my mother on the side of my heart.

My heart is on the right! That's it. Unfasten my armor.

But do so slowly because I'm full of sores.

It's all make believe! The blood is fake, the wound is fake.

This is real!

Here! Here! Take this!

By God... Excuse me!

And now, go fu...

Here I am!

Fight, coward! You're done for!

Holy Mary! He's sharpening a pencil!

Holy Mary, help me!

Bravo, that's it!

Son of a cow!

I surrender! I drank too much.

Pisser! The two of us!

For Allah!

Holy Mary!

I didn't forget the offense of the pig.

- Leave him to me! - For Allah!

- Come. - I make walls crumble with my head.

Where are you? Surrender!

Where is he?

- Are you tired? - No.

Archimedes' mirror!

See what it means to know all about science, ignoramus?

Coward! A woman must never be touched, not even with a flower!

You'll end up like a mouse!

I am... I am dead!

- Literature saved me. - On guard!

I've nothing to do with it. I came to write.

I'm a scribe. I don't fight. Take it out on someone else.

Saint Gennaro, you heard my prayer!

Monsieur La Motte, it's the two of us!

Albimonte, leave him to me. This scum is mine.

You hold the sword like a shovel!

Use the club, you chicken!

- Alright! Surrender! - Why?

- You are disarmed. - Hand against club.

Graiano sends you this.

Your Graiano was a traitor.

It's not true!

- Do you surrender? - No.

Enough, Fieramosca. The victory is yours.

La Motte, do you acknowledge the valor of your adversary?

Yes, I acknowledge it.

We are the champions! No one can defeat us!

Giovenale, I care for you!

What you did is beautiful.

Give me the manuscript.

Captain of Guadarrama, please preserve

the memory of the gestures of 13 Italian knights.

There are only scribbles here!

What?

What is this? What did you do?

What do you want from me? I don't know how to write!

And you don't know how to read!

What will history say about us?

What impression will I give to history?

If there is no written memory of our victory?

The less history knows...

...The more handsome, thinner and braver it makes you.

Honor! Honor! Horror!

I can still see the challenge and the field.

What can I do? What can I do?

It's a vision to be cancelled.

They charge and attack. They are thirteen aces.

Bracalone loses his trousers and falls.

What's the use of hollering? There is a reserve team.

You have one man stand up, and another three fall.

Helmets fly, and you see armors torn apart.

I must make many blunders, if I want to save myself.

With muddling and vulgar noises, the Italians will win this match.