Original subtitles

[vibrant orchestral music]

♪ Foodtopia ♪

[birds chirping]

[yawns]

[inspiring music playing]

Hey, look, it's Frank. Hi, Frank.

-[food 1] Yeah, Frank. -[food 2] Oh, look!

-All right! -[foods clamoring]

[food 3] I love you!

Ain’t no dog hotter than you, bruh.

[all] ♪ Dear Frank ♪

♪ You really turned our lives around ♪

♪ When you took control And fixed our town ♪

Frank, you're the fuckin' best, man!

Don't mention it.

♪ Dear Frank ♪

♪ You made us one big family ♪

[all] ♪ When you brought us peace And harmony ♪

I'm just happy you're happy.

♪ You outlawed teeth, so we're equal now ♪

♪ Don't be modest, take a bow ♪

♪ We're linin' up to blow your horn ♪

♪ 'Cause you're the greatest sausage Ever born ♪

♪ Every day's a perfect day In Foodtopia ♪

♪ Topia ♪

♪ Every day's a perfect day ♪

-♪ Thanks to Frank ♪ -[laughs] Yeah!

-[food 4] Thanks, Frank. -Isn't he the best, guys?

♪ You made all of our dreams Come true ♪

♪ And it's all because of you ♪

♪ So the only thing that’s left For us to do ♪

♪ Is thank Frank! ♪

Danke, Frank.

[crowd] Thanks, Frank.

♪ Hey, Frank! ♪

♪ The fridges were your best plan yet ♪

♪ We fuck all day And don't break a sweat ♪

Thanks, Frank.

-Get it, y'all. -[food 5] Gosh, what a great wiener.

♪ Yeah, Frank ♪

♪ While the spinach Gets their salad tossed ♪

♪ Watch me whip up a batch of applesauce! ♪

Maybe later.

I'll watch.

♪ I can cup my nuts ♪

♪ I can spill my seed ♪

♪ I can treat them gum-balls Like anal beads ♪

♪ With crackers and cheese To share the load ♪

♪ Just shake your cans And we'll explode ♪

♪ Every day's a perfect day In Foodtopia ♪

♪ Topia ♪

♪ Every day's a perfect day Thanks to Frank ♪

[Jack] Oh, hey, Frank.

Whoo! I am lovin’ these wagon rides!

You a genius for this one, Frank.

Genius? I don't know if I'm a genius. Maybe!

Getting around town is such a breeze, thanks to these hot little numbers.

-Whoa! -[Frank] Fly Rutabaga! Fly!

We got fucking jetpacks. Could this town get any better?

Frank, I'm so happy you asked that. 'Cause it can get better.

It worked, Frank. We can bring her back.

[inspirational music playing]

[Frank] Oh, Brenda.

It's really you.

I can't believe it.

Look! Look, Brenda, look at what we achieved.

It’s Foodtopia. The way we dreamed.

Oh! Fuck, no!

[gasps]

You had that Brenda turning to mush dream again, didn't you?

Maybe.

I'm no dream expert, but I think it might symbolize

that you're still pretty sad about Brenda dying and turning to mush.

[sputters] We don't need to get into all that.

You know? I'm good. It's changeover time.

Are you ready?

[battle music playing]

[snorting]

Now I am.

[dramatic music playing]

[groans] It's so hot. I can't even whip up a batch of applesauce.

[megaphone feedback]

[foods gasping]

All right, everyone! You know what that sound means.

Everyone's favorite thing to do. Time to share!

Man, this is ridiculous. Two days ago, I spent 30 chompers on this thing.

[refrigerator whirring]

[megaphone feedback]

[food groaning]

Already?

Look, I know, I know.

I know, but this is the only way to ensure that everyone who needs it

gets equal fridge time.

Eat a dick, Frank.

-[Small Milk thuds] -[both gasp]

Jeez, we need our smiles back.

[xylophone playing]

That's it!

Hey, Frank. I just thought of a song

for my one-bagel show that I’ve been telling you about.

Now I know what you're going to say.

The Greatest Doughman isn't important right now, but it should be.

Foods need entertainment, and the screens are being under-utilized.

Sammy, we've been over this.

We need foods focused and working for a better tomorrow,

not sitting around, staring at the screens like a bunch of couch potatoes.

-Hey! -You know what? I won't apologize.

You know what you are. Get up!

But, Frank...

Sammy, can't you see that Frank already has too much on his plate?

[foods gasp]

Oh, the-the P-word.

[sputters] I shouldn't have worded it like that. I am so sorry.

You should be.

Plates are like death beds to us, okay? The porcelain grave.

Horrible choice of wording aside, Jack is right.

Ugh, see? Fuck. You see what I'm dealing with here?

Hey, Peaches, come on.

You know we don't have the capacity to put cans in fridges yet.

This is so unfair.

How come clingstone peach over there gets time in the crisper and I don't?

Clingstones need fridge time. They don't just want it.

They're fleshier, they bruise easily.

Mm-hmm, they bruise like peaches.

It is just temporary, okay?

Once my cool zone expansion plan aka Cool World is complete,

there will be fridges for all.

You'll be thanking me. Who knows?

Maybe, you will be inspired to, like, write a song about me,

and maybe it'll go like...

♪ Thank Frank Thank Frank ♪

Who knows, though? That's just an example. Point is, there's fridges on the horizon!

["Also sprach Zarathustra" playing]

[foods groaning]

[grunts]

[food screams]

-[foods grunting] -[Frank] We're almost there, everybody!

[food grunting]

[grunting continues]

I can hardly feel the pain in my phantom toe.

[grunts]

Because of the adrenaline.

Ugh. Goddamn, Frank. Forcing us to work alongside our former oppressor.

Man, fuck this.

No-no-no-no! Hold the line! [grunts]

But if they let go, all the weight’ll be transferred to...

[grunts, yells]

[Frank yelling]

[grunts]

[Jack yelling]

[grunts]

[sobbing]

We were right there...

That fridge could’ve cooled hundreds of foods, it had a double crisper.

That's twice the crisp.

[Jack groaning]

What the hell? Why'd you all drop the rope?

It... slipped.

[Frank] Oh, fuck off, Iced Tea.

It didn’t slip out of all your hands at the exact same time.

Don't you realize the goal we're working towards?

It helps everybody. We're so close. Just please get on board already.

All right. Shift's over, everyone.

You can all go back to doing your own thing.

He's right.

You should all get some rest and do your own thing.

Until sun-up,

and then you all have to come back here to help build Cool World.

Fuck.

-Hmm, you know, one quick thought. -No screen time, Sammy.

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, Carmine.

Hey, Patty.

How's it hangin', Raul?

You know me, long and stringy.

[laughing] I hear that, stretch!

[spray paint can shaking]

[paint spraying]

[tense music playing]

[foods clamoring]

Oh, come on. Again with this?

[sighs] All right, let's see what you've cooked up this time.

Oh, real creative.

"Hot-doggy style," pretty obvious.

"Seated sausage," played out.

This one with Frank starting out in Jack’s armpit

and ending in the taint is pretty inventive, I’ll say.

But still, this needs to stop.

Every food in town knows what they're doing to each other

behind closed doors.

They're not doing that...

anymore.

I heard Frank sleeps in the humey's waistband

and uses his shaft as a body pillow.

I heard he tucks under the humey’s ball skin as a blanket.

He uses one ball as a pillow

and the other ball as a little bedside table.

Okay, first of all, these rumors are insane.

A ball as a bedside table, that'd never work.

All the stuff would keep falling off it.

And also these rumors are detrimental to the public good.

We're trying to come together.

You mean like Frank and the humey do?

[chuckles]

Walked right into that one.

It’s not just that, Bar’ Bar’,

it’s this whole awful place he’s forcing us to toil away in!

I'm sick and tired of it.

It's time we fight the real enemy.

Can you stop ripping up pictures of Frank and saying that all the time?

He's not the enemy. His heart's in the right place.

There's no more slums,

he's got us all sharing, cars for everyone.

Foods are way better off than they were before.

And all it cost was everyone’s freedom.

[dramatic music playing]

He's a genuinely stupid bastard.

[grunting]

-[deep exhale] -[Frank] You all right, Jack?

I think strapping myself to those fridges is startin' to take a toll.

[groaning]

Speaking of which,

you think it'd be possible for me to get a little time

in the walk-in fridge tomorrow?

Or maybe you could just pass an executive order

to make some Italian ices dance on my back or something?

[groans]

Uh, you fucking kidding me? That would be a PR nightmare.

My back hurts too, okay.

The chair in the shaded canopy is a cheap piece of shit.

Frank. This isn't working.

What isn't working?

This. All of this.

The whole forced sharing thing, the Cool Zone expansion.

Morale's never been lower. Something's gotta change.

I hear complaints all day from all these fuckers.

I don't need to hear them from you, too.

No, look, it’s not just him, Frank.

I'm... I'm tired of having no creative freedom here.

I need... I need change.

Remember how my grief-based denial

turned me into a selfish monster last season?

[mouthing]

Summer?

Yeah, well, anyway, that's why I'm determined to acknowledge my pain

and use my art to heal properly this season...

Autumn?

Stop pitching your one-bagel show.

I believe in what we're doing here.

And if the well-being of Foodtopia needs to come at the cost

of some foods' happiness, it is worth it to me.

It's not just a few, Frank. Most of the foods are unhappy.

They’re sick of you ruling them from above in your giant ivory tower.

Ivory? Yep. [chuckles]

I am looking pretty pale lately.

I suspect the cannibalism has taken all the pigmentation out of my skin.

I have to ride on Jack's head. You think I like it?

There's a target on my back.

You have a target on your back because you're riding on Jack's head.

Well, now you’re just in a chicken and egg debate.

And those two putzes bicker non-stop, they never get anywhere.

We need Jack to enforce the rules. He's our strongman.

[groaning]

Face it, you can't expect foods to be okay with a humey being part of our society.

It's unnatural.

It's just gonna breed more contempt.

[soft music playing]

Brenda envisioned a town where everyone's needs would be met,

not based on the color of their teeth, but the contents of their packaging.

And if we don't achieve that, then she died for nothing,

and I can't let that happen.

Jack, let's go. I need to think. Let's go for a jog.

As you wish.

-[back cracks] -[grunts]

[screams in pain]

[groaning]

You know, I know he’s still broken up over it,

I mean, we've all lost lovers,

but how many times can the guy play the Brenda card?

It's getting ridiculous. He never listens.

Just keeps expecting me to blindly support him

and keep narcing out my fellow food like it’s some kind of compulsion...

Holy shit, you see that?

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm not liking that lighting or that gate.

Sinead O’Potato must be up to something.

Yeah, her and that handsome, sexy donut, Duncan.

I hate that motherfucker.

[music continues]

[whispering] Psst, Barry.

Barry.

[shouts] Barry!

[sputters] Oh, I just wanted to say,

I've never been on a stakeout before.

I mean, I’ve eaten a steak out, but...

Yeah, I know, I watched the whole thing. Try to keep quiet.

No, of course. Of course.

[Sammy sputtering]

It's so nerve wracking.

I mean, one wrong move and I could blow our cover.

[loud drum playing]

Oh, shit!

G-get ‘em, Bar'!

[Barry panting]

[both groan]

[Duncan grunts]

Busted, my babies.

What new hypothetical sexual position have you conjured Frank in now?

Toes in ass?

Butt to chest?

[tense music playing]

For the love of cod, what are you planning here?

[grunts] Uh, surprise birthday bash?

Don't be surprised if I bash your face into the pavement, dough boy.

Hey, love the intensity and, you know, the wordplay.

Muah!

But just, easy on the dough slurs.

I haven’t been to Shopwell’s in a while.

Might have to go take a stroll down memory lane.

This is bigger than you think, Bar'.

It ain’t just the two of us that’ve had our fill of Frank’s regime.

Oh, then I guess it really is a party.

Maybe I'll have to dress up for the occasion.

Do I want a bunch of foods in town to hate me?

Of course not.

But am I willing to have them hate me to make the town better?

I guess.

Can't say I'm too thrilled about how I'm being depicted

in all this sex graffiti.

I mean, some of it really captures me.

I think I'm just easy to draw, you know?

I’m just like a long oval with eyes, essentially.

But... it's really being weaponized.

You see what that new one has me doing?

[sing-songy] My ears are burning.

Wow, even that won't cheer you up, huh?

You're under a lot of stress. Come here. Lay on your tummy.

[moaning] That's good.

[chuckles]

Speaking of the graffiti,

I saw one panel where we were lightly caressing each other's bodies

with crows' feathers.

You know, it's actually very tasteful compared to the next panel

where you're shoving the feathers up my ass

to make me look like a turkey.

[chuckles] But I don't know.

It might be a fun way to relieve stress.

Yeah, I'm still kind of...

Just not really ready for that kind of stuff.

Oh, yeah. Totally.

I don't understand the erotic appeal of crows' feathers either.

No, I'm not...

I'm not not horny because of the feathers.

It's... it's Brenda.

Oh, the Brenda card again?

Hey, Frank, I've been thinking about what Barry said.

Do you think the fact that I'm currently viewed

as a scary human dragon is gonna make it harder for me

to integrate into Foodtopia one day?

I mean...

No?

Ah, that's good.

So, when do you figure I could stop being a dragon?

'Cause you said it would only be for a bit.

Yeah, and that's how long it's been. It's just been a bit.

And we just need a few more bits, and then we'll be there.

And once we're there, all that fear and that rage,

anger and hatred that they feel when they look at you,

it will melt away and it will turn into...

Love?

Um, I was going to say apathy or indifference, but um...

Yeah. Let's go with love.

[toy train engine chugging]

[Sammy] Touch more here. Chiaroscuro in the brush strokes...

Yep, a few more touches.

And voila!

[Barry] Wildly impressed that you were able to pull this off so fast.

When you’re as creatively stifled as I am, it just, uh...

Art just pours out of you.

Okay, we got the look. Now, uh...

[muffled straining]

How’s your Sinead O’Potato "impersonato?" Lay it on me.

[mimics Sinead poorly] Oh, you know? Me... not too shabby there.

Me mama’s doin’ grand,

-she’s recoverin’ from her illness. -Oy.

[regular voice] I don’t have a handle on it.

I need a little time to workshop it, to be honest.

Um, let me do most of the talking.

[dramatic music playing]

[Rutabaga sighs] Can we start while we're young?

We need Duncan and Sinead to go over the plans.

They have the route mapped out.

I got a bad feeling about this, man. They should have been here by now.

This is gonna work, okay?

[Iced Tea] Man, fuck this.

Everyone, just be cool.

What? I was born cool, bitch.

I’m iced.

Order! Order!

[gavel squeaks]

It's Frank you should be holding in contempt,

not each other!

[tense music playing]

Finally!

What took you so long?

[mimics Duncan] Oh, a donut never tells.

[mimics Sinead] We had to make sure we weren't tailed, didn't we?

We got the map. What more do you want from us, ya wee bugger?

[ominous music playing]

Ah, I apologize. I’ve been a bit on edge ever since Jeri Rice body snatched me.

But now I have this ass patch, so I should learn to be a little bit more trusting.

All right, let's see what we got.

You want to walk us through the plan?

Considering we went through the trouble of drawing this,

you know, very helpful map,

I think it's only, you know, right,

that one of you walk us through the, you know, step-by-step plan.

[ominous music playing]

It just feels like we're doing all the legwork here.

[sighs] Fine, I’ll do it.

[gavel squeaks]

First, we lure Barry away from the Electronics Store

with another illicit mural.

Once he’s gone, we go into the store...

kill Frank and his wretched humey in their sleep...

and escape through the highlighted route...

[gavel squeaks]

Easy as me.

[tense music playing]

[mimics Duncan] The plan is to...

kill Frank?

I don't see why you'd even ask that question

when you helped create the plan.

[mimics Sinead] I think what Duncan is trying to say is, while we can all agree

that Frank's been a little bastard, does he really deserve to die for it?

And can we all live with ourselves for doin' the dirty deed?

That's why I made sure one of these knives is a decoy with a retractable blade.

That way, each of us can sleep at night knowing there's a one in ten chance

we didn't deliver the fatal stabbing.

Sound logic.

So nobody's having second thoughts here?

Maybe we revisit this at the top of the morning

after we've had a proper wink?

[suspenseful music playing]

You know, back in my days on the force,

there was a case where a food had the audacity

to commit a robbery in potato head.

Potato head, ya say? That’s despicable.

Sho' is.

[panicked grunting]

[all gasp]

[regular voice] Oh, no. I mean...

[mimics Duncan] Oh, no.

You stupid motherfucker.

Take it easy. I don't wanna hurt you.

You can't, bitch. That's the decoy knife.

All right, I'm putting it down. I'm putting it down.

Now, I know you're all frustrated. I know that.

But killing Frank isn't the answer. Things are going to get better here.

When, huh? When?

We're tired of being controlled by Frank.

It's like the second I got the rice out of my ass,

a hot dog went up it.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

But it still hurts, Barry. It still hurts.

[Rutabaga] Julius is right.

Frank's gotta go.

[suspenseful music playing]

D'ah! Are you fucking serious?!

What the hell? I told you not to come in my room, ever.

[yawns] Hi, Barry. Hey, is that you?

What's wrong, you have a... you have a nightmare?

Yeah, I'm having one right now, baby. Duncan was right.

You do sleep in his undies.

Whatever. I have nothing to be ashamed of. It's crazy cozy in here.

Do you want to hear something cute? [chuckles]

I call them my sleep tighty whities.

Oh, yeah, that's fucking adorable. There's a plot to kill you guys!

What?! Who wants to kill us?

Everyone. Julius, Duncan, Sinead, Rutabaga, Pie, Iced Tea.

We need to get you out of here.

[Jack grunting]

Guys, can’t find my mouthguard.

There’s no time for any of that shit! We have to go now.

[dramatic music playing]

[panicked grunts]

Ah! Duncan Donut!

Jack, kick him against the dumpster!

Ow! Oh, right in the schmekel.

Right, okay, that’s on me. I forgot to de-sprinkle.

Any sign?

No. Coast is clear.

[tense music playing]

[panting]

[straining] We're gonna make it.

[music continues]

[grunts]

What the hell?

We're sorry, Frank.

It was the only way they wouldn't kill you.

[somber music playing]

We managed to negotiate them down to a light exile.

You can't exile me! Jack, get me back in there.

Uh, how? It's locked.

Well, climb it.

[grunts, groans]

-[foods laughing] -What a loser!

Ha-ha! Laugh! It's not funny.

The gates were designed to keep humans out...

-[groaning] -[Iced Tea grunting]

[pained screaming]

[Frank grunting]

I can’t believe you’d do this to me. You double-crossed me.

Look, baby, you need to just take this one on the chin, okay?

Just give me some time to smooth things over.

Trust me, these foods will listen to me.

[grunting]

Hey, what? Ah! Hey!

You can stay the fuck out, too.

The fuck, Duncan? Now you’re double-crossing us?

This just in. It's a quadruple-cross.

We double-crossed both of you at the same fucking time.

What the hell did we do?

Are you kidding? You were in his government.

Also, it’s hard to trust you now that we know

that you're willing to double-cross your best friend. Ugh, shameful.

And if any of y'all ever come back here again...

tell 'em, Rutabaga.

Hmm, you're dead meat.

And a dead bagel!

[gavel squeaks]

[dramatic music playing]

[Jack] Really wish I grabbed a couple ears for the road.

[triumphant music plays]