Original subtitles

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- Ah, Mom used to give the best birthday parties.

Oh, my God. Alfonso, remember

when she gave us the Moonwalker-themed party?

- Oh, I think I still got the rhinestone glove

she got to match the outfit!

- Hey, hey! - Get it, baby!

[They Laugh]

- Still can't dance.

- Well, in the spirit of celebrating life,

what kind of birthday party do you two want this year?

- Uh, the kind that doesn't happen.

- Well, let the party planning begin!

Hey, you two remember this hat?

I wore it to your fifth birthday party.

- Well, it looks like there won't be a party.

The twins aren't in a festive mood again this year.

- What if we just do something low key,

you know, like just the family?

- Well, that counts you out!

- Oh, come on, guys!

Let us plan you the most amazing party.

It's been so long since you celebrated your birthdays!

- Yeah, that would be wonderful!

- No, no, we appreciate the sentiment really, truly,

but there will be no party!

- Well, I'll tell you one thing that my sister-in-law was very good at,

and that was throwing a party.

I really miss her smile.

It could brighten up the darkest room.

- Yeah. - I miss her, too.

Anyway!

Hey.

Ain't gonna be no party, and that's that!

- And twin, we have that lunch meeting with that new marketing team anyway.

- Sure do.

[Door Closes]

- Okay, so this is what I'm thinking.

We can have the most delicious dessert bar.

- And why don't we do a '70s theme?

I still have some of my old bell bottoms

from when I was dancing in "Soul Train"

when I was doing the split.

The split, the split!

Now, you know you don't know nothing about that--

Oh!

[She Shouts]

[Lucille Struggling]

- Alright. - Woo!

I used to be able to do those splits.

In fact, after I did one of 'em so deep,

Don Cornelius gave me his number!

- Okay. - Ooh, alright!

- Did another one, and split my pants!

You might say I showed my ass on live TV!

- I guess so!

- Okay, look here, Milli and Vanilli.

Y'all heard the twins. They said no party!

- Which is why we can disguise it as a client's birthday celebration.

- Ooh, that's a great idea, Kimberly!

- You know, Alfonso and Aaliyah are gonna be so surprised.

- Mm-hmm, not in a good way.

[**]

[**]

- Auntie, Alfonso would want classy entertainment.

- This is a birthday party, Kimberly.

We need a clown and a pi�ata.

Ooh, maybe we can get a pony and some daredevil stuntmen!

- They're turning 41, not four!

- Well, I like clowns! - I'm sure.

Your last man was one.

- Wow, hold on!

Okay, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, golly!

Y'all been arguing for days now.

Can we please remember that we're trying to plan a party

for two people that you love dearly?

- What is all the commotion going on in here?

I can hear you arguing all the way from my office.

- Look, we in here planning a party for you and Aaliyah--

- For you and Aaliyah's, uh, new client!

It is very, very stressful!

But, you know, that ad you two did with the marketing team?

Brilliant! - Mm-hmm, that was me!

- That is the whole reason that Ms. Henrietta Lee Duboise chose Lucille's

to celebrate her hundredth birthday!

- Wow! You know what?

Let's get a camera crew in here, you know,

to cover this momentous occasion, alright?

Might as well drum up some business in the process!

Huh, okay? Hey! - Now you're thinking!

- That's a great idea, nephew!

That is a great idea!

And to think I thought it was Aaliyah

who was the one with the big blabber mouth!

- You know what, the two of you are driving me--

- Crazy is what you must be if you think

you're turning my party into a circus freak show!

Yes, my party!

Now, I'm gonna order some invitations,

and don't do anything till I get back.

- Oh!

- Now she's the one that's crazy!

Got the nerve to be talking to me like that,

and I'm gon' stick with my plans!

And you better not say a word!

[Mia Stammers]

Now, who am I gonna tell, huh?!

[**]

- Okay, yeah!

To the big 41!

Uh, I mean, minus, minus 20, minus 20. 21.

- Thank you. - 21!

So, any big plans for the big day?

- Nope, uh, just, you know,

all my life-altering changes, between our divorce

and moving in with Mia,

has just taken the fun out of celebrating.

- Well, you know, congrats on having a permanent place to live.

- Yeah. - And you have me this year.

That's worth celebrating, right?

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm?

Uh, Aaliyah.

I'm so happy to be on a date with you

and not some girl named Indonesia Aliz� Jenkins.

- Ew. - Who only drinks Aliz�.

You know, being a divorced over-40 city boy ain't it.

Maybe except for those twins!

- Uh, you better be joking!

- No, no! Her name really was Indonesia.

No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

So, what happened to ol' boy?

You know, that boring one that I scooped you up

with the night we were hanging out?

- Yeah, that ol' boy?

- Y'all were looking a little too cozy over there,

I had to do something big to, you know, interrupt the vibe.

That's the only reason why I paid for that tab.

- Yeah, so why would you care

if me and Daniel were getting cozy?

- 'Cause I want my ex to be my next.

Look, it's been fun, you know, reconnecting and exploring you again.

Talking about every bit of you.

But I want more.

Aaliyah, what are we doing here?

- Like, are you really in love with me, DeWayne?

Or are you in love with the idea of me?

Like, what would make this time different anyway?

Hmm.

See?

Just what I thought.

- Look, look, if I'm being honest,

I don't know what's gonna make this time different

but I'm willing to find out.

Look, Aaliyah, I want to do all the things with you.

I wanna...

..you know, go to Paris in the summertime

and the Swiss Alps in the winter,

and have a love that produces little faces that look like ours.

[**]

- Um, why do I have an invoice

from "Shenanigans R Us"?

- Well, I hate to break it to you,

but your tap-dancing pit bull puppies are booked!

- Oh, the little pint-sizes with the little top hats

that be doing the body rolls? Those are good.

- You know what, Auntie? I was looking forward to planning this party--

- Oh, no, no, no, you weren't, Kimberly!

You've had a take-over spirit from the very beginning.

- That's because you kept overriding my decisions!

- Oh, see? There you go!

Who are you to tell me

what I can and can't do with my family?

[Mia] Oh, I wonder if Ms. Henrietta

has outlived most of her family members, 'cause you know,

she has lived a long time!

Now, you know, that's 100 years.

- Uh, y'all good?

- Oh yeah, we're good!

We're real good, mm-hmm!

I just did an outreach for a body count. I mean, head count.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

[Door Closes]

- Lucille, I am well aware that Alfonso and Aaliyah are your family

but I'm family, too!

- Oh, by the way, I fired your little DJ.

Live music is so much better anyway--

- And much more expensive, Lucille!

But you'd know that had you offered to pay for any of your party additions!

- And let me say this. In Kimberly's defense,

Aaliyah would prefer a celebrity DJ to spin at the party.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

And I know what my husband would want.

- Well, let me tell you something, little girl.

I've known your girl and your husband

since they were born!

- Do you really?

And you wouldn't be planning your...

"Their" party without their consent.

- Okay, first of all,

[Clears Throat Loudly] I think Alfonso would

really love to capture our vintage client's entrance from the stage.

- Yeah, I see that. - Oh! Oh, hey, honey!

Do you need something?

- I'm just trying to figure out why it sounds like the Rumble in the Jungle

every time I walk through these doors.

- First of all, you can't fight, so what does it matter, Reggie "No-Hands" Strickland?

- We're just so passionate about making this a historic moment

for Ms. Henrietta and Lucille's! - Yeah.

- Passionate, huh? - Mm-hmm, passionate.

- Passionate. [Sniffing]

Yeah, I can smell it, y'all are up to something.

Y'all ain't never been this passionate about any event

in this space.

Especially Mia!

Mm-hmm, the only thing you passionate about

is 50% off on wig wonder Wednesdays at the swap meet!

Yeah, you probably got on one now!

- At least I've got some hair to add to, "Baldilocks!"

Why don't you get your wigless wonder bald head out of here?

Come on, go, go! [He Murmurs]

With your big head! [Door Slams]

- Thanks to you, I think Alfonso's suspicious of our party!

- (sarcastically) You think?

- Well, you've got a lot of nerve blaming me

particularly after you turned our co-planning into a dictatorship!

Kimberly "The Dictator" Williams!

- Dictator? - Yeah, dictator!

- Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.

Hmm, well, how about I just remove myself, hmm?

And you two plan this party?

- Oh no, no, no, no, you can count me out, too.

'Cause, see, I only stayed around to make sure the dictator,

well, I mean Kimberly, didn't get carried away!

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Y'all not gon' do that to me,

leave me with the planning and the bill, unh-unh!

I quit!

- No, no I quit! - I quit first!

[All Yelling]

[Mia] I never started!

- Alright, I got a few more idea-- Hey!

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[**]

Mm!

Is that my robe you have on?

You look like a ghetto Ken doll!

- I mean, I can take it off if you want me to, but you know how that's gon' end!

- No, no, no, you have to get out of here before Mia gets home!

She thought this was just a one-time thing, okay?

No baby, no DeWayne.

- Wait, you still haven't told her about us?

Aaliyah, I thought that we were building something!

I don't want to be your "dirty" little secret.

- Well, right now, you look like Victoria's Secret!

[Door Opens] You need to hide.

Just go, go, go, go, go!

- Ooh, child.

- Hey, friend! [Laughs Nervously]

- What are you, the welcome crew? Hey.

- I missed you!

[Both Laughing]

- Happy today, ain't you? - Yeah!

What are you, uh, doing here?

- The hell you mean? I own the place!

And why does it smell like Old Spice and locker room drawers in here?

Unh-unh! - No, I don't smell that.

- Oh, I smell it!

Hoo!

And what's with the face?

- Oh, no, no, no, it's just that I thought you were down at the event space

with Kimberly and Aunt Lucille.

- Yeah.

That's exactly where I was.

Uh-huh, we was down there

and I was working on that, uh, bat mitzvah!

That's what we was working on and we was doing it all together--

- But I thought Alfonso said it was someone's hundredth birthday.

- Well, no, I think we booked that-- Ooh, ooh!

[Both] Oh, oh!

[Both Speaking]

- I'm telling, I'm telling, I'm telling, I'm telling!

- What had happened was, okay...

- Yeah, uh, no. I was just grabbing some cakes!

- What? - I mean, muffins, muffins!

- Ooh!

Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, and Helen Keller can see what's happenin' up in here!

I knew you wasn't in here pushing cushions!

Huh? And I told you about that, your rent goin' up.

What you doing with her, roll bone, huh?

And those are my slippers!

[**]

- AJ, can you please tell your Aunt Lucille

that the slideshow does not need her input?

She already ruined the birthday party, I don't need her ruining another gift.

- Uh...

- Jordan, could you tell your control freak of a mother

that there would be no slideshow

if my family had not produced the stars of this show?

- Uh, I think this is a situation

where kids are to be seen and not heard.

- Well, I thought there were only two children in the room

but apparently, there are four.

- Very, very grown children.

My friends are 16 and we would never act like this!

It's giving very low-vibrational behavior.

- I'ma take off my belt and beat your low-vibrational butt!

This is the time when children are to be seen and not heard!

Go on, get outta here!

[Mia] Okay, come on. Just...

AJ is right, Aunt Lucille.

Come on, this will be the first time that Alfonso and Aaliyah have a birthday party

since Mama V passed.

Letting all this bickering

overshadow the love you have for the twins is just,

it's just something families shouldn't do.

- Mia's right.

For once.

I'm sorry, Aunt Lucille.

I just, I really wanted to celebrate

my husband and sis, but per usual,

I got drunk on my own power.

- Drunk? Ha!

You got white-girl wasted is what you did.

- Now, Aunt Lucille.

- Okay, I'm sorry, too.

But I just love those two as if they were my own,

and I just didn't want to miss out on creating something memorable for 'em.

- Since you two have kissed and made up, right?

What we gonna do about this party, huh?

Because I got RSVPs and invoices still coming through.

So, what we gon' do?

- What do you say, Auntie?

You wanna finish what we started?

- Okay.

But I'm not gonna cancel those

dancing pit bull puppies, you hear?

Listen, that cleanup fee was steep.

Apparently, those little boogers have problems with bowel control.

[**]

[All] Surprise!

[Applause and Horns Blowing]

- Alright, uh, where... I don't see Ms. Duboise.

Did I miss her entry or something?

- Alfonso, honey, this is actually for you!

- For me?

- Daddy, are you okay?

You look like you're smelling burnt piece of toast.

- Babe, are you really upset?

We just wanted to plan something nice for you and Aaliyah since--

- Since what, Kimberly?

Since Aaliyah and I haven't celebrated our birthday for the last five years?

Have any of you taken a moment

and asked yourself why?

And where's Aaliyah?

The least you coulda done was have my twin sister here!

But since she's not,

it makes it much easier for me to just...

..leave.

- Dad! - No!

[**]

[**]

- You wanna come inside and say hi to everybody?

- I don't think that's a good idea, Aaliyah.

- Is this about what Mia said

when she saw you wearing my pretty pink robe?

Babe, she was just kidding when she said she was gonna tell everyone

that you dress like Elton John.

- No!

It's about the fact that your family still doesn't know about us!

Look, I'm just taking a rain check tonight,

I'm not up for this drama.

- Well, there's not gonna be any drama, I promise.

And now that Mia knows, I don't wanna keep sneaking around,

especially with my family.

- Look, I don't understand you, Aaliyah.

At one minute, you don't want to define us and now, you want to tell everyone?!

I thought you didn't want history to repeat itself.

- And I thought that you wanted Paris in the summertime

and Swiss Alps in the winter!

- Yeah, I did!

- You did?

- I mean...

..I do.

But I'm starting to think that you're the one who doesn't know what they want.

I mean, your best friend didn't even know about me

until she found out about me in your drawers!

- Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay, I was scared to tell everybody about us, okay?

'Cause I knew that there would be judgment and concern

about us getting it right this time!

But just know moving forward,

I'm not the one who's keeping us a secret.

Have yourself a good night.

[Door Closes]

- Aaliyah!

[**]

- Surprise!

[Horn Blowing]

- We not doing that no more, baby.

- Surprise?

Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a bat mitzvah.

What is going on up in here?

[All Speaking]

- These two overrode me... [Overlapping Chatter]

- Stop, please stop talking!

Uh, where is my brother?

- Auntie, after our elders miserably failed

at throwing you and Daddy a surprise birthday party,

Daddy stormed out.

- What?

Do you guys even care

why Alfonso and I kept declining to celebrate our birthdays?

See, this is not a party for us.

This is to feed y'all's egos.

- I told y'all this would be double the trouble!

- So, y'all been sneaking around behind our backs

for weeks now?

- Well, when you put it like that,

it does sound pretty bad.

- The sneaking around sure does seem to run in y'all's family.

- Okay, I am going to find Alfonso,

and y'all enjoy y'all's party.

- Okay, friend, I'm sorry.

I, wait.

- Again?

- Look, there's DeWayne. What's he doing here?

- Hey everyone.

Uh...

Sorry to intrude, but I'm looking for Aaliyah.

- Alright, DeWayne, I like this look.

It's much better than when you was out here

channeling Juwanna Mann.

[**]

- I heard what happened.

- This is my, uh, favorite picture of Mom.

- Oh!

- The family just doesn't get it.

Mom died so close to our birthdays

that it just doesn't feel right celebrating without her.

- Yeah.

I mean, she could make any party

feel like the event of the season.

- Yeah. - Right?

- I think she overdid it a little bit,

you know, with the birthdays,

the holidays, even Groundhog's Day, just trying to overcompensate

for Pops not being there.

- Remember that one year Aunt Lucille dressed up as Dad?

[She Laughs]

[Laughs Louder]

Oh!

- I can't believe it's been...

..five years since she's passed. It's...

- I just wanted to say--

We...just wanted to say we're sorry about the party.

We love you both so much.

And we just...

We really wanted to celebrate you.

- After talking with Mia,

it makes a lot of sense

why you two reacted the way that you did.

We're so sorry we let our egos get in the way of your feelings.

- No, Auntie.

I-I know you wanted the best interests for both of us.

- And Mommy would have loved the party y'all planned for us.

- Yes, she would've. - Right?

Um, but just next time,

no tapas, okay? 'Cause it's giving no class,

and we can't afford forks!

- Baby, I'm sorry I ruined the surprise.

- Oh, no, baby, it's all good.

And you know what? It's still happening.

I mean, people are still out there. We could go.

Well, except for the dancing pit bull puppies.

I mean, they went through those puppy Pampers

faster than Usain Bolt in a 100 meter!

- So, what do you say, twins?

- Here, baby.

- One thing I know

is your mama would never let a good party go to waste.

Let's go have some fun.

[**]

[**]

- DeWayne?

What are you still doing here? I thought you had to leave.

- Forgot to ask you something.

- I can't look, mm-mm!

There's been more drama around here

than all of the Tyler Perry movies!

- Now, I know this seems sudden,

and I don't have a ring,

but I figured I'd get you one in Paris.

Aaliyah.

..again?

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