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1
00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:18,100
And now, stay tuned for the show
too good for television.
2
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:20,567
-Wings?
-Wings!
3
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:23,166
We now return to Wings.
4
00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:25,633
Our Wings marathon.
5
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:31,633
Wings.
6
00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:38,233
I'd cancel my cable
if I wasn't stealing it from the D'Arcys.
7
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,333
Hey, Dad.
8
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:48,900
I've got a problem.
I did something really stupid.
9
00:01:48,967 --> 00:01:52,700
Well, son, you didn't marry, did you?
10
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:55,400
God, no.
11
00:01:55,467 --> 00:01:58,100
No, I volunteered
for this program at college.
12
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:01,033
They assign you community
service work for extra credit.
13
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,867
Well, I was hoping to get
Save the Brazilian Rainforest.
14
00:02:03,934 --> 00:02:05,767
Why? What do you care?
15
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:09,000
I wanted to see
naked women from Rio.
16
00:02:09,934 --> 00:02:13,767
Well, you can do that during
wet gaucho night at the nudie bar.
17
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:17,633
Well, the Brazilian course
got filled by the football team...
18
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,767
...so they assigned me to
the only charity they had left open.
19
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:22,300
Which is?
20
00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:27,867
I can't even tell you.
It's too humiliating to talk about.
21
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:31,133
I'm just thankful
the word hasn't hit the streets yet.
22
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,467
Hey, Daddy, guess what.
23
00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:38,700
Bud has been assigned
to the Virgin Hotline.
24
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:46,767
Well, we do know, however, that word
has hit the old mattress behind the Y.
25
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,767
Virgin Hotline?
What the hell is a Virgin Hotline?
26
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,200
Bud.
27
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,600
Well, Dad,
you probably don't know this...
28
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,166
...but today, there's a big movement
toward celibacy.
29
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,800
Know it? Hell, I started it.
30
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:06,000
No, Dad.
This is no sex before marriage.
31
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:07,600
See, the hotline was set up...
32
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:12,567
...so that when virgins felt in danger
of losing their innocence...
33
00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:14,467
...they could call someone to be--
34
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:17,133
Nipped in the bud.
35
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,200
Or counseled, for those of us
who breathe through our noses.
36
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,200
Ask him what the phone number is,
Dad.
37
00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:29,066
Now, now, sweetheart, the least
we can be is a little sensitive here.
38
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:32,000
What is the phone number, pumpkin?
39
00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:36,233
1-800-ZIPP-UP.
40
00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:45,400
Yeah, that's right, Gomer and Pyles.
Yuck it up.
41
00:03:45,467 --> 00:03:49,700
Now, if I can ask a favor,
can we please keep a lid on this one?
42
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,633
My answering the phones
is gonna be completely anonymous...
43
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,400
...and I'd just as soon
no one else knew it was me.
44
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:56,967
Hey, Bud.
45
00:03:57,033 --> 00:04:00,867
I heard on the radio.
You're on the Virgin Hotline.
46
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,200
They said Bud's name on the radio?
47
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:06,633
Well, actually, it was a jingle.
48
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,767
Let me see, how did it go?
49
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:12,433
If you're a virgin
With hormones surging
50
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:17,166
Keep on your undies
And call Bud Bundy's
51
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,233
Virgin Hotline
52
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,233
That's catchy.
53
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:29,567
Thank you.
54
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:31,467
And with self-esteem intact...
55
00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,900
...I'm gonna get ready
for my orientation now.
56
00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,533
Kelly.
57
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,333
Would you be kind
as to insult me up the stairs, please?
58
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,900
My pleasure.
59
00:04:39,967 --> 00:04:43,567
Now, when people call up,
do you merely talk them out of sex...
60
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:45,867
...or do you send them
a picture of yourself...
61
00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,633
...and scare the pants back on them?
62
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,300
Hey, Al, guess what.
63
00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:54,033
They're having a sale
at the video store.
64
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,100
See? Right here.
65
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,633
So, what do I care?
Then go to the video store.
66
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,333
Well, I want you to come with me.
67
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,233
Oh, no.
That's why we have cable, Peg.
68
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,166
You can see the best
and never leave your house. Watch.
69
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:14,667
Tonight, Tom Selleck in
Mr. Baseball.
70
00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:17,467
Then John Goodman is King Ralph.
71
00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:20,333
But first, Wings.
72
00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:23,734
I'll drive.
73
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,266
Hey, you guys mind if I hang out?
74
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:31,767
If I go home, Marcy will know I'm not
at my Unemployed Anonymous meeting.
75
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,734
-Have a good time.
-Thanks.
76
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,500
Welcome to The Naked
Jell-O-Wrestling Championship.
77
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,734
Hey, that's a--
78
00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:03,100
Hi. I'm here for the Virgin Hotline.
79
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:06,200
-I'm--
-Bud Bundy. I know.
80
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:10,033
Your face has chastity
written all over it.
81
00:06:10,967 --> 00:06:14,533
Really? Damn Kelly.
82
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:19,233
My name is Ms. Hardway.
I am the founder of Virgin Hotline.
83
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,834
Not that I haven't had opportunities.
84
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:25,133
It's just that I prefer to
save myself for marriage.
85
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,767
Whose?
86
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,233
People don't understand
virgins these days, Mr. Bundy.
87
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:38,567
They don't realize that we can have
just as much fun as they do...
88
00:06:38,633 --> 00:06:41,900
...while remaining vertical,
with our toes uncurled..
89
00:06:41,967 --> 00:06:47,967
...and the saliva of our passions held
firmly in our proud, unsullied mouths.
90
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:57,600
And there are so many more exciting
things to do besides having sex.
91
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:02,100
Have you ever felt the soft down
of a newborn baby duck?
92
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:06,066
Ever collect little ceramic unicorns?
93
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:07,767
Ever play Yahtzee?
94
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,934
No, you see, I'm not a virgin.
95
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,900
Oh, come now, Mr. Bundy.
96
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:18,467
Here is your Virgin Hotline
handbook.
97
00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:21,300
Memorize its pithy wisdom.
98
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:24,633
"Reach out and touch yourself"?
99
00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:27,400
I love the '90s.
100
00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:31,166
Time to take calls. You man line one.
It's our busiest.
101
00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,200
And remember, Mr. Bundy...
102
00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:40,266
...you will be counseling these people
in their weakest moment.
103
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:44,767
You must be their shelter in a storm,
their anchor in rough seas.
104
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:49,633
Their cold shower during heavy
Jimmy Smits reruns of L.A. Law.
105
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:54,700
You, Mr. Bundy,
are their last line of defense.
106
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,133
Can you do it?
107
00:07:56,934 --> 00:08:00,233
You know,
with a little more makeup...
108
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:04,433
...and her hair done
and some soft music....
109
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,967
Mr. Bundy?
110
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:13,233
Can you do it?
111
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:16,333
Well, if the room was real dark,
I might....
112
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,867
Oh, you mean the phones.
113
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:27,033
Yeah, I can do the phones.
No problem.
114
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:29,500
Watch.
115
00:08:30,734 --> 00:08:32,567
Hello, you're on the Virgin Hotline.
116
00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:36,200
This is your counselor, Eugene.
117
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:41,767
Hi. My name is Isis J. Blowup Doll.
118
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,867
And my boyfriend, Bud, hasn't been
able to keep his hands off me...
119
00:08:48,934 --> 00:08:51,834
...ever since I came out of the box.
120
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,500
Now, should I try to stay firm...
121
00:08:56,567 --> 00:09:00,867
...or just explode and go to pieces?
122
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:03,633
Very funny, Kel,
but don't let me keep you.
123
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,767
I'm sure the trucker paid
for the whole hour.
124
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,400
Crank call.
125
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,400
Yes, we occasionally get those too.
126
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:19,266
Usually from mean people
who have had sex.
127
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:22,734
But remember, Mr. Bundy,
they mock us because they envy us.
128
00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:26,300
Yeah, right.
129
00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:31,533
Virgin Hotline.
130
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,367
Hi, this is Buck.
131
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:39,533
I'm wearing nothing but my fur.
132
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,133
I miss you, Bud.
133
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:52,300
I miss our special times together.
134
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:54,400
Kelly, Kelly, please!
135
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:09,100
Oh, now, come now, Mr. Bundy.
Chin up.
136
00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:12,533
People used to call me
and say they were my showerhead.
137
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,700
What's the matter, Kelly?
Is your bed closed for repairs?
138
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:23,934
Is this the right number?
139
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,834
My name is Esther and I thought
I was calling the Virgin Hotline.
140
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:30,734
Really? This is a real call.
141
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,100
Yeah, you're on the Virgin Hotline.
142
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,233
I've been trying to wait
until marriage...
143
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,567
...but everywhere you look
is sex, sex, sex.
144
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:41,700
Well, where exactly are you?
145
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,900
Home, watching TV.
146
00:10:45,967 --> 00:10:50,500
Oh, God, they're doing
a Bugle Boy jeans commercial.
147
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:54,400
Oh, you're losing her, Mr. Bundy.
Quick, do a TV talk-down.
148
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:55,967
TV talk-down?
149
00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:58,166
Okay, Esther, now, listen to me.
150
00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,667
We're gonna have to
take your mind off of sex.
151
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:04,333
Now think of the guy
from the Zima commercials.
152
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,400
I can't.
Now Melrose Place is coming on.
153
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:12,767
Billy's taking his shirt off.
154
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:15,867
Mr. Bundy, we have a code red.
We're going to have to act fast.
155
00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:18,066
I'll keep her talking.
You go to her house.
156
00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:20,200
-What?
-Don't argue. Take your handbook...
157
00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:23,633
...and your "Never Had It, Never Will"
Virgin Hotline cap.
158
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:28,433
Hurry, or I'm gonna have to
call my boyfriend.
159
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,633
Take my car.
I'll call with the address.
160
00:11:33,033 --> 00:11:36,567
And, Bud,
you have a really cute tush.
161
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,767
It's Friday night
and what am I doing?
162
00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:50,633
Talking a girl out of sex.
163
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:56,333
Oh, my God.
I am my father's Oldsmobile.
164
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,934
Well, let's get this over with.
165
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:09,100
Esther. With a name like that,
I should have brought a chew toy.
166
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,934
Hi. I'm Esther. Save me.
167
00:12:41,734 --> 00:12:45,767
Now, all we have to do is find
one movie that we can both watch.
168
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:52,033
Hey, here's one.
Die, Scum-sucking Pig, Die.
169
00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:57,233
Ray Walston and Sherman Hemsley
in a haunted house, Peg.
170
00:12:57,734 --> 00:13:01,166
Al, you have rented that
25 times already.
171
00:13:01,233 --> 00:13:03,900
Well, it's good.
172
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:07,433
Oh, how about this?
Four Weddings and a Funeral.
173
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,433
That's kind of like five
of the same thing, isn't it?
174
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,967
Hey, how about
WrestleMania bloopers?
175
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,700
You could have taped
our honeymoon for that.
176
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:22,834
You know, Al, maybe you should
go your way and I'll go mine.
177
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:28,400
Really? After all these years?
Thank you, Peg.
178
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,233
No, I mean in the video store.
179
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:38,233
Now go find a movie we can both enjoy,
and be serious, Al.
180
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:41,734
Hey, Dorf on Skiing.
181
00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:47,166
So. Virgin, huh?
182
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:51,266
I just can't tell you how tough it is
for a woman to maintain her chastity.
183
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:54,800
Every single girl I know
is just preoccupied with sex.
184
00:13:54,867 --> 00:14:00,800
They'll have it with anyone,
anywhere, anytime.
185
00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:10,667
Really? Well, if you'd just give me
their names...
186
00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:14,934
...their photos
and their phone numbers...
187
00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:18,100
...I'll get to the bottom of them.
188
00:14:21,166 --> 00:14:25,367
I mean, of it. Bottom of it.
189
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:28,200
No, Bud, please don't leave
before my mother gets home.
190
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:31,800
If I take my eyes off you,
I know I'll get all horny again.
191
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:38,300
I'm glad to be of service.
192
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,033
Can I get you something to drink?
193
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:46,533
Well, you got anything
fresh squeezed?
194
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:48,867
I'll see.
195
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:51,967
I'm really sorry to drag you out
on a Friday night like this...
196
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:54,333
...but I can't tell you
how much I appreciate...
197
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,467
...an organization like yours, Bud.
198
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:59,033
I don't understand
what's wrong with the world.
199
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:02,433
Everywhere you look, temptation.
200
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:12,633
Zima guy, Zima guy.
201
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:18,400
No, no, I mean, I mean,
I mean Roseanne, Roseanne.
202
00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:21,600
Peg.
203
00:15:22,734 --> 00:15:24,266
Diesel Head.
204
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:28,900
"A man and a monster truck
exchange brains"?
205
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,834
Like Emilio Estevez
would make a bad movie.
206
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:40,066
Look, Al, you have said no
to every movie that I've chosen.
207
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:43,233
Because every movie
you choose sucks.
208
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:47,900
-Fried Green Tomatoes sucks?
-Yes.
209
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,800
Now, look, obviously,
we are not gonna agree on anything.
210
00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:56,433
I mean, why should movies be
any different than sex?
211
00:15:56,500 --> 00:16:00,066
Well, can't eat popcorn
when you're having sex, Peg.
212
00:16:00,867 --> 00:16:03,667
Al, let's just find something
to please both of us...
213
00:16:03,734 --> 00:16:06,100
...and do not go
into the adult section.
214
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,700
I don't even know
where the adult section is.
215
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,300
Here are the classics.
216
00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:21,433
Schindler's Lust.
217
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:25,166
Booty and the Beast.
218
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,767
And my favorite, Forrest Hump.
219
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,834
-Oh, excuse me.
-No problem.
220
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,400
-Marcy!
-Al.
221
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:45,900
It's not what you think.
222
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:49,233
Well, that's good,
because I think I'm gonna heave.
223
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:54,500
I've just been monitoring porn
for my women's group.
224
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:57,633
We are sick of films that exploit
and degrade women...
225
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,767
...and we are not going
to take it anymore.
226
00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:02,133
Here are the tapes you asked us
to hold for you.
227
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:08,567
Silence of the Loins
and The Joy Slut Club.
228
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,900
Shall I just charge those
to your house account?
229
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,834
Fine.
230
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:20,400
I'm taking these home to erase them.
That'll show you men.
231
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:22,967
Do you have condoms?
232
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:25,967
Oh, Al, look what I found.
233
00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:29,166
Like Water for Chocolate.
It's a love story.
234
00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:31,967
What a coincidence, Peg,
I found a love story too.
235
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,800
Mrs. Assfire.
236
00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,500
-Water.
-Fire.
237
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:37,934
-Water.
-Fire.
238
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,633
All right, Al, that's it.
239
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,667
You get what you want,
I'm going home.
240
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:44,834
Oh, now, wait, Peg.
This could be good.
241
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:49,000
Big 'Uns magazine guide
gives this two things up.
242
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:54,900
Al, I am not checking out porn.
243
00:17:57,567 --> 00:18:01,233
Now, you would think that,
in a video store of 10,000 tapes...
244
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:04,066
...we could find at least one movie
that we would like--
245
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,166
Butch Cassidy.
246
00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:13,333
Oh, Al.
Now, here's a movie we can agree on.
247
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,667
You remember when we were dating
and we saw this at the drive-in?
248
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:19,834
I remember that we saw half of it.
249
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:26,200
You know, I still have the imprint
of the Dodge logo on my back.
250
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,867
I can't believe you still have that car.
251
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:35,633
Well, I can't believe I still have you.
252
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,667
-Where were we, Peg?
-Sharing a tender moment.
253
00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,133
Oh, yeah.
254
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,166
You remember how they kicked us out
for making too much noise?
255
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:46,600
Well, you were hurting me, Peg.
256
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:53,033
Well, we certainly made up for it
that night, in my father's hall closet.
257
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,300
-Oh, Al.
-Yeah?
258
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:58,367
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
259
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,200
Mrs. Assfire?
260
00:19:04,266 --> 00:19:06,934
-No.
-All right, Butch Cassidy it is.
261
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,800
Oh, good.
I heard it has a happy ending.
262
00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:13,367
All right, spread them, thief.
263
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:15,500
Look at that, Peg.
264
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:17,834
You know, some people
just have no respect...
265
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,300
...for the personal property of others.
266
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,000
Nothing at all, I tell you.
267
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:31,100
M-E-L-O-N-S. Melons.
268
00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:33,233
Your turn.
269
00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:43,266
So, what have you got?
270
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,867
Nothing I can use.
271
00:19:47,066 --> 00:19:48,667
Hi, honey, I'm home.
272
00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:51,467
Hi, Mom. This is my new friend Bud.
273
00:19:51,533 --> 00:19:55,100
-He's from--
-I know. The Virgin Hotline.
274
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:58,433
I saw your picture
on the side of a bus.
275
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,367
Great. You wouldn't happen to know
where that bus is...
276
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,500
...so I could throw myself
in front of it?
277
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:06,767
Oh, they're everywhere, hon.
278
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:11,100
And I'm so glad that you were here
to help Esther in her time of need.
279
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,500
Now, young lady,
it's time for you to do your homework.
280
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:16,934
Okay, Mom.
281
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,467
And thank you, Bud.
282
00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:21,767
Keep in touch.
283
00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:26,166
Well, I didn't mean with me.
284
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,300
I meant with herself.
285
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,700
Well, not with herself,
with her schoolwork.
286
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,867
-See you.
-Well, I'd like to thank you too, Bud.
287
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:40,633
If there had been a Virgin Hotline
when I was her age...
288
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,667
...I might have known
who her father was.
289
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:48,166
Well, knowing who your father is
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
290
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,233
Is there any way I can repay you?
291
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,400
No, ma'am, no.
No, according to the book...
292
00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:57,000
...we're not allowed
to take any kind of compensation.
293
00:20:57,066 --> 00:21:00,133
Even if it's these?
294
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,900
Didn't say anything about tips.
295
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:24,867
Mom, Dad, I'm going out!
296
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:27,834
Mom? Dad?
297
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,533
Butch Cassidy and
the Sundance Kid.
298
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,433
Now, why would you rent a movie
and not watch it?
299
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:40,233
It's like renting a hotel room
and not ripping off the honor bar.
300
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,000
Old people do the dumbest things.
301
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,300
Thank you.
23420
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