Original subtitles

Well, what is his status, Gretchen?

His vital signs are fluctuating wildly.

It's been a struggle ever since that fiasco in the crypt.

I do hope I haven't made this trip for nothing.

Gee, Nigel, your concern for Lex is overwhelming.

Mr. Luthor did not hire me for my congeniality.

What are you doing?

I've got to stabilize his electromagnetic field, otherwise we're

him.

Lois, there's something I want to say.

Clark, you don't have to say it.

I know what you're thinking.

I've been thinking the same thing.

Lois.

Clark, what are you waiting for?

We'll never get this paper out by deadline.

What? I said we'll never get this paper out by deadline.

Huh? All right, I want everybody's stories on my desk in ten minutes, flat.

Langdon, when am I going to get that story on the capture of Raleigh Vale?

I'm on it, Chief.

Lois, I want to ask you something.

Oh, I'm not going to like it, am I?

What makes you say that?

You've got that tone in your voice. You know, when people are uncomfortable,

like when they want to borrow your car or money, your clothes.

Oh, okay. You got me. I want to borrow your clothes.

I bet you'd look real cute in black chiffon.

What I want to say is... I know what you want, Mark.

You do?

I know you a lot better than you think.

How much do you need?

What? No, I don't want money, Lois. Clark, you don't have to be embarrassed.

That's what friends are for. Just tell me how much.

Lois, I want you to go out with me.

What?

You're asking me out?

Yeah, you know, like on a date.

A date?

You mean like a real date?

Where I take out my good perfume, the one that I got after I saw Love Affair,

the good one, not the remake, and I put a dab behind my knee. I don't even know

why.

Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying.

Well, that... Well, I... I just don't... I don't know what to say.

Well, most people either choose yes or no. Well, it's not that easy. I mean,

it's easy for you because you've had time to think about it. You've had time

plan what you're going to say and what you're going to say depending on what I

say back to you. Lois, I...

I'm just trying to ask you out. I'm not trying to negotiate a nuclear arms

treaty.

ACK!

This just came for you. This is from the FBI.

Who do you know at the FBI?

Roger Templeton. We met when I was in Washington.

Huh. You're Clark.

I thought you might find this interesting.

This is the woman that stole Lex Luthor's body.

Who's that guy?

Nigel St. John. He used to be Lex's personal assistant.

Get this.

They've identified the woman in the photograph as Gretchen Kelly.

She was Luthor's doctor.

Maybe that explains your fascination with his body.

That's not all.

Turns out Nigel was more than Luthor's Mr. Belvedere. He was an agent with Her

Majesty's Secret Service gone bad.

Well, this says that that photo was taken recently in Metropolis.

The agent who took the photo has disappeared.

Disappeared, huh?

I guess being a photographer is more dangerous than we thought.

Uh, maybe Sheldon Bender knows something.

Luther's attorney?

Why him?

Well, it's just... God knows everything.

And attorneys seem to think they're God.

Um, Jimmy, why don't you take this over to Perry and tell him we're on it?

Got it.

Clark.

About the date.

It's okay. Take your time.

We can talk about it later.

Gone.

This weasel bender swindled me out of my entire fortune.

Lex, you should be resting. This can wait.

What about the Swiss bank accounts?

Empty. I'm broke.

And death I could deal with, Nigel, but to be broke, no money, no power, that's

not something I'm prepared for.

On knowing you, sir, I'm sure it's just a temporary condition.

The money, perhaps.

But true power lies in the possession of kryptonite.

Until I find it, I'm nothing.

Well, first things first.

Nigel.

I'd like you to arrange a little meeting with Mr. Bender. Yes, sir. And Nigel.

Let's drop the sir.

No need for facades.

Look at us.

We are what we are.

And what is that?

Ordinary street fighters.

Like the old days.

I've never thought there was anything ordinary about you, Lex.

Thank you, my dear.

You're absolutely right.

What's this?

What is this? I'm losing my hair.

What have you done to me?

What have you done to me?

Lex, your body has been through a tremendous ordeal. You're bound to

some temporary side effects.

You need to rest.

All right, shave it off.

Don't just stand there.

Shave it off.

Nigel, I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to find out whatever you can about Lois Lane.

Ow!

Well, that's a good thing you're not a surgeon.

Hello, Bender.

I'm gonna call the police. Stay here.

Watch this suit.

You people.

Do you realize who you are?

Look, if you work with Intergang... What's Intergang?

A new crime organization in Metropolis.

Just a group of thugs. All substance and no style.

Didn't take long for the jackals to move in.

Look, look, whoever you are, I want you to know right now, you can't.

Oh, yes, I can.

Thanks.

No, sir.

Your worst nightmare.

A billion dollars, Mr. Bender.

Where is it? It's all tied up in real estate.

I can get you a few thousand. Sorry.

Wrong answer.

No people in Intergate.

Maybe I can talk them into bringing you in. Sorry, Mr. Bendham. Wrong answer

again.

Now, look.

Gretchen, the rats have a voracious appetite tonight.

But will they eat one of their own?

Please, please.

I'll get it back for you. I promise.

Bon appétit.

Kryptonite. I can get you Kryptonite.

I know who has it.

How do you know about Kryptonite?

Look, I know someone.

I can get it for you.

If you cross the fender, I will cut open your chest and throw up a rat inside.

Superman told me that that van was operated by remote control.

Why do you suppose someone would kidnap Fender?

Can't be for money. Who would pay ransom for a lawyer?

Clark Kent.

Do I want them?

Can you hang on a minute?

Lois, this ticket broker's got two of the last Pearl Jam tickets for the

tomorrow night.

Would you like to go?

Oh, right.

The date thing.

Uh... What about Mason?

The guy's only got two tickets.

Clark. Lois, I'm asking you out.

Okay, fair enough.

It's a big deal. We work together.

What happens if, you know, it bombs?

We'll always be friends.

Yeah, I'm still here.

I know.

We both need an answer.

Okay, I'll take them.

How much?

Each?

No, no, no.

That sounds reasonable.

Okay, great.

Thanks.

Am I interrupting something? No. No?

It's okay, guys. I'm not the principal. I just came over to give you this lab

report on the van.

Turns out there's a trap door in the floor.

Oh, so that's how Bender disappeared without anybody seeing him.

Magic always seems to have an explanation.

Anything else?

Yeah, the van's registered to a guy in Park Ridge. The cops have him down at

station right now.

Well, you start on the story. I'll go down to the station.

Oh, and as long as I'm out, I can pick up those things that we need for the...

thing that we talked about no no no it's out of your way i'll just send a runner

okay

Excuse me, miss.

Could you help an old man across the street?

Oh, uh... Sure, of course.

Here, just watch it down the curb.

Yeah.

Aren't you that reporter who almost married Lex Luthor?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, Lois Lane, right? So...

Tell me, what was that Luther fellow like?

Well, he was very magnetic and very charming.

He was also a very dangerous criminal.

I see what I hear.

You young women like them bad boy types these days.

Well, I don't think that's always true.

I mean, I guess sometimes it is.

Excuse me. I am late for an appointment.

She's more beautiful than ever.

Oh? And what about Gretchen?

The battery. She's my physician.

She doesn't inspire me.

I suppose it has occurred to you that Miss Lane might not come quite so easily

this time.

I cannot prove the lover to entertain these fair, well -spoken days.

I'm determined to prove the villain.

Richard III, your favorite.

My hero.

And like Richard, I will not be denied.

I'll give her the chance to come willingly. If she won't come, I'll take

force. After you get the kryptonite.

Of course.

The police said the owner of the van loaned it to a friend of his.

An ex -con named Ramin Tarbush.

I called his parole officer. He hadn't seen Tarbush in weeks.

But I asked for a description.

Exact match to the kidnapper.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Bobby Big Mouth.

Now, what in the blazes is a Bobby Big Mouth?

Bobby.

If it ain't the two lovebirds.

Did you tell him?

No, no, no, no.

I got it from the ticket broker. He's a barracuda in business, but he's a

romantic at heart.

So you're too excited?

Look, Bobby, we didn't come here to talk about this. I want you to know how

happy I am for you and that there are a lot of people out there that are really

pulling for this to work out.

What people?

What, you think it's the big secret that Clark here has been mooning over you?

I wouldn't say mooning.

Exactly. I love being in love. I mean, there's no feeling like it in the whole

world.

Except maybe a really full stomach.

And I love the fact that we are pushing pigs in a blanket.

Bobby, do you know an ex -con named Ramin Tarbush?

Of course.

Last I heard, he's been living out in the streets.

But he has his meals at the homeless shelter on Union Street.

What happened to my manners?

Anybody thirsty?

Who are these bozos?

I caution you on your choice of words, Mr. Vale.

Oh, yeah?

Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm in prison.

What are you going to do, charge me with being rude?

Of course not, Mr. Vale.

I'll simply have you killed.

Oh, really?

You and what?

There are more things in heaven and earth than I dreamt of in your

Mr. Bale.

Sure.

Okay.

So what happened?

Forget to bring your hair with you when you came back from the dead?

That's funny.

That's very funny.

Unfortunately, Mr. Bale, you are not in a position to be funny.

And you're in no position to put your hands on me, Mr.

Bukthor.

Robotic.

I had to replace the one my thimble -brained cyborg crushed.

A cyborg which was powered by kryptonite which was stolen from Lex Labs by your

brother. I want it back.

Um, what my client is saying is... I know what he's saying.

Unless you got something I want, skinhead, this meeting's over.

Well, what is it you want?

A half a million dollars and my freedom.

Money and your freedom.

For the kryptonite.

Do we have a deal?

We have a deal.

And you know where to find me.

Lex,

whatever you're planning, I shouldn't hear about it.

Hear about it. You're going to be part of it.

We'll require a little diversion to get the equipment we need.

And I know the perfect sacrificial lamb.

Chief, I'm making a donut run. You need anything?

Oh, no thanks, Jimmy, but I appreciate you asking.

Whoa!

Somebody's been messing with my chair.

What's this?

Uh -oh.

Jimmy!

Yeah, Chief?

I do need something.

What's that?

God, this is exactly why we shouldn't go out.

All I said was hi.

Yes, I know, and a dozen thoughts went through my mind. You know, how's my

makeup? Do I smell good? Do I have coffee breath?

Seeing all that was just with you saying hi, what's going to happen when you

start saying words with more than one syllable?

What did they put in your coffee this morning?

Clark, I'm just... I'm just trying to say that... I'm afraid things will

if we start going out.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, Lois.

I'm afraid, too.

Oh, I'm so glad that you said that.

Thank you.

I was so worried. Did you go to the shelter this morning?

Yeah. Ramin's still a no -show, but the director said he'd call us if he comes

in. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we've got an emergency in the building.

need everyone outside.

Just step outside, little lady. No, I will. What's happening? Clark?

Clark, where's Clark?

Is it real?

Oh, yeah.

It's a real pressure bomb.

Crudely made, but real.

When you set down, you engage a detonator. So if you get the urge to

and do a jig, fight it.

Can you disarm it?

I think so.

If I can just figure out which wire to cut.

Superman! Do you need any help?

Nope. Found what I needed.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Underestimated the guy.

Building a backup firing mechanism.

Whoa, what does that mean?

It means we got less than a minute to clear this whole building out.

Oh, he's got a car.

Clear a path to that window.

That's right. Just hang on.

I see him from here.

I just wish I was in a better mood to enjoy it.

I'd hoped to take you down someplace deserted, but I don't think we're going

make it.

So, thanks for flying with me, Mr. White. Huh?

Jennifer!

Jennifer!

Jennifer!

That's what I call...

Turbulence. Oh,

some Yahoo probably read something in a planet he didn't like.

You know, it's a risk every editor takes.

Perry, I think it's awfully coincidental that Nigel St. John, a former spy,

comes into town and suddenly this happens.

Lois, stop being paranoid.

Guess who suddenly reappeared?

Sheldon Bender.

He's claiming the kidnapping was just a prank by some old fraternity brothers.

Chief. My instinct says that all this stuff with Bender and the bomb is

connected to Nigel and Gretchen Kelly.

Well, what are you two standing there for, then?

Hey, guys, guess what?

The bomb squad's headquarters was robbed while they were defusing you, Chief.

They got away with some plastic explosives and some remote -control

mechanism. Now, wait a minute. Are you telling me that I was just some kind of

diversionary tactic?

Kind of cheapens it somehow, doesn't it?

Cheapens it?

You take Bender, I'll take the bomb squad.

You know, I think that's the first time I've ever heard them agree on anything.

Yeah, well, a budding romance will do that for you.

How did you know that?

Jimmy, I did not become editor of a major newspaper because I can yoke.

Oh, excuse me, huh?

Well, we're a lost line.

Imagine my good luck running into you two days in a row.

You know, I have something for you.

Information about Lex Luthor and the woman who stole his body.

Who are you?

Do you know the story of Phoenix?

Yes.

Sacred bird reborn, rising from its own ashes.

That's right.

When I was a little boy, my mother told me that story.

And I, I always liked the park

where he...

Came back from the dead.

It's good to see you again, Lois.

Did you think I wouldn't come back for you?

Yes, look at me.

I've lost everything.

My fortune, my reputation.

Everything but my feeling for you.

We must take the miracle of my resurrection as a sign.

As a sign that even death can't keep us apart.

No, don't question a miracle. We're together again.

That's all that matters.

What?

What? No.

No, I could never.

When I've fallen from grace, haven't I? I can see it in your eyes.

But surely a creature of such abundant benevolence would allow me the chance to

redeem myself.

I... I don't have those feelings for you anymore.

I don't believe you.

How could you expect?

After everything you've done.

Well, yes, I did terrible things, but I did them for you.

I was provoked by the blinding light of your beauty.

But if you can't forgive me, then here.

Call the police.

Go ahead, call.

You do feel something for me.

No.

I just feel maybe you've suffered enough.

What did Luther say you wanted? I mean, besides you.

Well, it looks like Bender is your only solid lead to finding Luther.

Yeah, and he's in seclusion on his yacht.

Supposedly he needs a break from the press.

Well, he's not going to get it.

I want you two on him like flies on a T -bone. Round -the -clock surveillance.

Chief, when you say round -the -clock, you don't mean... Yes, sir.

Right now.

You can set up shop down at which Kennebrews. He's a friend of mine.

Keeps a little hideaway down there at the marina.

So, you want us to start tonight?

Have you got something better to do?

I guess not.

Uh -huh.

Good.

Jimmy.

Enjoy.

All right, CK.

Pearl Jam. This will definitely put me over the top with Angela.

I don't believe this. Instead of Pearl Jam, we wind up watching some lawyer get

ready for bed.

Well, maybe we can just pretend this is our first date.

Not that I'd like this to be our first date. Actually, I'd like something

But just so it's not a total loss.

I mean, you did ask me out, and I did worry a lot about my answer. I wouldn't

want all that effort to be for nothing.

I'm babbling, aren't I?

Look, let's just say we're on a regular assignment, and forget the date part.

We'll do it another time.

This is our almost first date.

Kind of like a test run.

Sure, why not?

All right.

Why don't I see if I can find something that would be appropriate to celebrate

our almost first date.

Oh, hey, look.

Champagne.

Too bad it's warm.

Probably take forever to fill in this little refrigerator.

I've got to get out of these clothes, so just yell if you see anything.

Okay.

Here you are.

How'd you get a cold so fast?

I, uh... Uh... Oh, uh -oh.

Uh, there's another lamp on the other side of the couch. No, no, I got, I got,

got...

I guess so.

I'm the one who needs to change now.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, I guess.

I guess I missed you again.

I guess so.

Well,

um, I'll just... Forth. More champagne?

Good idea.

Excuse me.

Wow, that must have been one defective bowl.

What happened?

Oh, I had a muscle.

Mishap. I had a mishap.

This here.

So, to our almost first date.

Almost first date.

Oh, I should have known better than to order Chinese food from a place called

Ralph's Pagoda.

Here.

Thanks,

Clark.

Some first date, huh?

It's okay.

I feel good. I'm so embarrassed.

Don't worry about it.

You can turn in.

You can sleep in the bedroom.

Oh.

I don't think I can make it to the bedroom.

Here, come on.

Oh, Clark.

Here

you

go.

Door -to -door service.

If... You need anything during the night, just call. I'll be right out of

Well?

Well... Good night, Clark.

Good night, Lois.

See me, Sheldon. Don't call my office. You have my home number.

I'm sorry, Your Honor. It won't happen again.

Clark.

Something's happening on Bender's boat.

Should something go wrong?

Nothing's going to go wrong, Your Honor. Believe me.

I just wanted to thank you in person for getting a new hearing for Raleigh Vale.

When's he being transferred to the courthouse?

This afternoon.

That's Judge Winkler. Good.

On behalf of my client, I'd like you to accept this little token of our

appreciation.

It's just like I wanted.

Small bills.

No sequential number.

Always a pleasure doing justice with you, Counselor.

Hey, Bender!

Oh, my.

What?

You picked up?

I've always admired Nigel's creativity.

Sure, I'll just wait right here for his call.

Judge Winkler's clerk.

The judge is temporarily unavailable for comment.

Big surprise.

Why would Bender want Raleigh Vale transferred downtown for a new hearing?

What's in it for the record?

Whatever it is, it's big enough to cost Bender his life.

Hey, CK, thanks for the tickets.

Pearl Jam was incredible.

What happened to your eye?

Oh, brutal, huh?

Angela and I went through the mosh pit twice.

Mosh pit?

Oh, oh, um, the director from the homeless shelter called. That guy, uh,

He's down there eating breakfast right now.

After you.

It's a long fall from a penthouse in the sky.

What's that noise?

Oh, I hate breath.

It starts here at the Metropolis Men's Prison and ends at the courthouse.

It must be the route they're going to use to transfer Raleigh Vale.

Luther's going to break Vale out of prison.

Let's go.

You go get the chief. I'm going to call the police.

Lex wanted me to find you.

Thanks for making it so easy.

Steady.

Not too soon.

Looks like he needed a rest.

Yes, he'll have an awful headache tomorrow morning.

Tell me, Mr. Bale, is the air sweeter when it's free?

Yeah, it's great. Now get me out of here.

I'd better get you a doctor.

Don't you realize Lex is insane?

If anyone's insane, you are.

You could have married the greatest man in Metropolis.

But instead, you turned your back on him.

He's a psychopathic criminal. He could kill any of us. He never hurt me.

I gave him life.

But you drove him to his death.

Lois!

When will you ever learn?

I always get my way.

Relax, please, before you make things worse.

I've already been through the worst.

All right, Vale.

Where did you hide the kryptonite?

It's been right here all along.

My Excalibur.

What are you going to do with that?

I'm going to kill Superman when he comes to rescue you.

And then there'll be no one to take you away from me.

Nigel, keep this in a safe place.

Now, where's my money?

Oh, yes, Nigel. Pay the man.

Hey, what's this?

It's called an old -fashioned double -cross.

Exactly.

Won't you join me, Ramin?

That too, Nigel?

Nigel, what are you doing?

You had your day, Lex.

Now it's intergang with the deep pockets.

But we're a team.

When the lead wolf is weakened, the pack wittily turns.

The deal was my freedom and the money.

Let's go, Romina.

Is he all right? I'll take care of him. It's all right, my love. It's just a

minor setback.

and love you? Give me your hand. He never loved you. Give me your hand. He

sacrificed everything to free yourself.

I love you. I'll kill you.

Maybe you'd like to let me in on the joke?

Me, on the joke?

Twice I've had the chance to kill you, twice the game has gone your way.

The game is over, Luther.

I don't like to be the satisfaction of taking me alive.

Sorry, Luther, but killing yourself is the easy way out.

You can't cheat justice twice.

Oh, I'm so smug.

Tell them, Lois.

Tell them that once you really loved me.

Well, I thought I'd never see you today.

You think you're so pelvis?

Nice job, you two.

Now, I know I've said this before, but this time it's an order. I want both of

you to take some time off.

Well, you don't have to tell me twice.

Um, Clark, I'll call you in a couple days about that thing that we have to

reschedule. Yeah, whenever. That sounds great. You know, you two don't have to

talk in code. You're not fooling anybody.

Plan on making it a date. Just say so.

How did you... Jimmy. Hey, hey, I didn't say a word, honestly. Look, he did not

become editor because he knows how to yodel.

Oh, by the by, the old Butch Kennebrew a bottle of champagne and a new

lampshade.