Original subtitles

Earth, a tiny blue planet, revolving around an insignificant yellow star

on the edge of a small and meaningless galaxy, inhabited by some really stupid

creatures that called themselves human beings.

These so -called humans went about their mundane life thinking they were so

superior, the end product of evolution, at the top of the food chain, or that it

was. Until that fateful dark night, when they had the marketing board.

We like

brains,

we like guns.

We like eating people so much you can't run or hide your

face cause we're flesh eating ghouls from outer space.

We're ghouls. Flesh eating ghouls. Oh yeah.

We're ghouls. Flesh eating ghouls from outer

space.

Sink our teeth into your head. Play with your eyeballs till you're

dead. You can blood because we like it a day. We're fresh eating ghouls

from outer space.

We're fresh eating ghouls from outer

space.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

What was that noise?

I don't know.

Why don't you turn on the TV?

Maybe there's something on the news about it.

Yeah, if Brock's on, he'll know.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this really...

Really, really, really important news flash.

Let's go to our dashing and sexy anchorman, Brock Buttman, at the studio

atop the hump on Camelback Mountain.

Good evening. This is Brock Buttman on KRAP -TV 13, the channel with the poop

the scoop.

We have some breaking news that there have been reports of sightings from

the world of strange alien spaceships crash landing.

Now, don't panic. This might be a childish Halloween prank.

or just another government cover -up. And I repeat, don't panic.

But if these reports are true, do not go outside alone.

Stay in your home.

If these visitors are real, we don't know what their purpose is.

They may have come in peace to share their advanced technology, or they might

want to probe our anuses. Or they could, in fact, be really nasty, flesh -eating

ghouls from outer space.

Until we have more information, I repeat, don't panic and don't go out

Stay in your home.

Okay? Okay.

And remember, film at 11.

We now return to Louie's Love Zone, already in progress.

Long and gooey, Larry, long and gooey. What a bunch of crap.

I'm going out there to see what the hell's going on. I don't think you

You heard what Brock said. Don't go out alone and stay in your home.

Don't go out there and leave me alone.

I can't call anyone.

the cusp of the phone.

Please don't leave me.

Don't go out.

It might be those last beating ghouls that they're talking about.

Wah -ah -ah -ah -doo.

Wah -ah -ah -ah -doo.

Wah.

Oh, quit your crying.

I must go and see.

Just a humble tomcat caught in a tree.

I must investigate. I must go out.

I know it ain't those flesh -eating ghouls that they're talking about.

Wah -ah -ah -ah -doo.

Wah -ah -ah -ah -doo.

Wah. It ain't them.

It is.

It ain't them. Oh, you fool.

It ain't those flesh -eating ghouls.

I've heard enough. That's it. I'm going out there.

Please, Cletus, don't go out.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Yeah, guess what I thought.

Nothing.

Not a damn thing.

Hey.

What are you two supposed to be?

Huh? Yeah, wait. Flesh -eating ghouls?

I got your anal probe right here.

Come on over here. I'll kick both your asses. That's right.

Come on.

Come on, baby.

I wonder what happened to him.

He's been gone a long time.

I think I'll go out there and see for myself.

Cletus.

Cletus, honey, are you out there, Cletus?

I can't see you.

It's a lovely day.

Why don't you have yourself another Twinkie? Yes, Mommy.

Mommy, where did Daddy go?

My little cupcake.

He's run off with that cheap poor zoo.

Why don't you have another Twinkie?

Mommy, my friend Johnny...

There, there, my little bonbon.

He's just trying to scare you.

You know there's no such thing as a flesh -eating ghoul.

Be afraid.

Eat another.

I told you there's no such thing as... Oh, shit!

Save the Twinkies!

Uh

-oh,

my hair.

Am I on?

This is Brock Buttman, live on KRAP -TV 13, the channel with the poop

on the scoop.

I'm reporting to you from an incredible scene of death and destruction.

This is horrible, folks.

There's blind body parts all over the place.

This city is in complete chaos.

We are going to try to get an interview with a victim. Now, yes, yes, I see one

over here. Sir, sir, sir, sir, you look pretty busy right now, but

take a minute to talk to our viewers.

Hey, aren't you Brock Buttman?

Am I on? TV.

Hi there, Mom!

Okay, okay. Can you tell our viewers right now what it's like being eaten by

flesh -feeding wolves?

It hurts a little, Brock, and I'm not feeling too good right now. I bet it

Now, do you think this is all a hoax or a government cover -up to raise gas

prices?

Brock, this is definitely not a hoax, and it's far too ingenious for a

government cover -up.

That tank had no effect at all.

These ghouls are Rambo strong.

But now I see a chip off the coast.

Holy crap, that was unbelievable.

Maybe it couldn't do a damn thing either.

I wonder if the Air Force could blast those ghouls back to the black hole they

came from. Yes, I see a bomber flying overhead now.

Oh the humanity!

Not even the atomic bomb can hurt these flesh -eating ghouls. What or who can

stop them? Is the human race doomed to be consumed, or is this just a cheap

hoax? What is the government trying to cover up? More news at 6. This is Brock

Buttman from KRAP -TV, the channel with the poop on the scoop.

Have a great day!

I should sing that special song that mommy taught me. It always makes things

better.

The Navy and the Air Force. The Army was nothing to us but ethical.

They couldn't kill us with guns or mace. Because we're flesh -eating ghouls from

outer space.

The humans were so arrogant, we ate the whole stupid race.

Because we're flesh -eating ghouls from outer space.

Flesh -eating ghouls.

From now to fate.

Hey, are you still hungry?

Always. How about some Italian?

I'm sick of garlic.

What about American?

Cholesterol. What about Chinese?

You know, I am always hungry an hour later.

This is Brock Butman live on KRAP TV 13, the channel with the scoop on the

poop.

I'm reporting to you at the end of the world.

The ghouls have left the planet.

They have eaten the human race.

My cameraman and I are the only ones left to repopulate the planet.

It will be an awesome task, but I think I'm up to it.

More news at 6.

That's a wrap.

Hey, hey, where are you going? Wait, hey, hey, hey!