Original subtitles

She's hot, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, you know, she's, I don't know. You know, she's kind of

more like a friend, like a second mother. So I wouldn't really say that

hot. Oh, come on, Chad.

You're a man now. You can think she's hot.

I mean, I've never even seen her in a bikini, not even at the lake house.

Well, I know she's been working out.

So she probably feels, you know, really good about her new figure.

I mean, look at her.

Yeah, definitely was good to me.

You know, she likes you too.

What do you mean?

Well, she did say that you were a handsome young man.

She said that?

Mm -hmm, she did.

And she said some other stuff too.

But there's certain things I can't tell you because I have to keep it between us

girls.

What?

Well, what did she say?

I don't know.

Hey, what did she say?

Come on, just tell me.

So, what did she say?

Oh, she just needs some help around the house.

You know, can't Chad help her?

Oh, um, Chad is... He's actually out of the country.

Um, but you don't mind helping out, do you, sweetheart?

No, of course not.

You're such a good boy.

Wow, girl, hey.

Okay.

John's home. Let's go to my room. Oh, daddy's here.

Whoa.

This is a great mattress.

I don't see it, but it's great to fuck on.

Speaking of fucking.

Oh. Is Jake here?

No. Oh, would you be into watching me fuck your son?

Dana.

Sorry, I thought maybe you were into that. You know, John likes it so much.

Oh my gosh, you're such a spirit.

You must have gotten laid.

Oh no, you're wrong about that, Smarty Pants.

Your hot boy is a cold fish.

Tell me everything.

Okay, well.

Mrs. Green?

I'm in here.

Hi, Jake.

Where's Chuck?

Oh, he's not home. It's just the two of us.

What will we do?

Yeah, so my mom said your sink was broken. I brought some tools.

Mm -hmm.

Hey, would you like a beer?

You seem, like, really tense.

I could go for something different.

No, not 10 a .m., though.

I think... Yeah, it's down there. It's a real mess.

It's so wet and drippy and flowing everywhere.

But who can hardly blame it, you know? Sometimes you just gotta let loose and

clear the pipes.

Yeah, it looks like your sink is clogged. It happens all the time.

Okay. I'll just, uh, get this started.

Sometimes all a girl needs is a quick fix.

Oh, hey, Chad.

Hey, man. Are you at my house this week?

You're going to the driveway? Uh, yeah, yeah. Your, uh, your mom needed help

with the sink, so I brought some tools.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Chad ruined everything.

It didn't sound like it was going so well anyways.

Well, I know.

It got off to a rough start, but I was certain that when I had him under the

sink that I could get my hands on him then and he wouldn't be able to resist

I mean, no man ever does.

You are a beautiful woman, Dana.

Some guys need a little more gentler touch.

My Jake is so much like me.

He needs a little bit of romance and seduction, you know.

Romance and seduction? Dana, keep it down. Gosh, I mean, John's right

in the office.

Yeah, okay, that's right.

So what about Chad? I'm sure you had an easier time.

Bob?

I'll settle this. Okay.

Get in the closet.

What? Yeah, just go in the closet. Okay.

Mom?

In here, darling.

I got us tickets to He Has Risen.

Oh.

Yee.

What's wrong? I thought it was your favorite Christian rock band.

Maybe your father and I have been a little too hard on you lately.

Yeah, I mean, that is difficult, but you're my angel, and I don't know what

do without you.

Well, okay, you see, you're about halfway through college now, and, you

you've never brought a girl home to meet us.

Yeah, I'm just picky, and, you know, I wouldn't bring a girl home unless I

thought she was half the woman you are.

Listen, Mom, you're not worried, are you?

Oh, no, I know you're not.

Besides, I seem to be looking at my girlfriend.

Is it that obvious?

Yeah, but that's okay.

Sweetheart, can I ask you a personal question?

Have you made love to a woman before?

What's this about? Are you testing me?

Oh, gosh, have you been looking at my laptop again? No.

No, sweetheart. I respect your privacy. And heck, you're a man now.

I just often worry that I've been teaching you to live a false life

and living unauthentically.

A false life?

What I mean is that the church represses our desires so much, and I don't think

that all of the church laws are necessarily what God intended.

Mom, are you...

Tell me you don't believe in God.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

What I'm saying is that the book has been written by men and rewritten to

whoever's political agenda really fulfills.

I think it's more of a guideline that we should use. I think that's what God

intended. For us to use it as a path to teach us to love him and

ourselves and others.

Yeah, that makes sense, but what does that have to do with me having a

girlfriend? Do you feel like the church has repressed some of your urges?

The moral meaning of God doesn't act on impulse.

And what if you did act on those impulses?

So what, I'm supposed to club every pretty woman I meet over the head and

her into my cave?

No, darling.

But what if there was a woman that was...

Interested in you. And you were interested in her.

I mean, why not test the waters out? You know, give it a go before marriage.

Prenatal sex?

You are testing me.

I know a woman who wants you.

And I'm almost certain that you want her too. But I see the look in your eyes.

And it may be partially my fault that the way I've brought you up has...

taught you to repress yourself and live unauthentically and - Stop!

Sweetheart, please.

Your father is right up there and I don't want him to hear us.

So, you want me to have sex with a woman and she wants me to?

Bye.

My darling boy. I'm giving you her.

As a gift. You want me to turn away from God?

No. What your mom is saying is you can find divinity inside of me.

Girls aren't saving themselves for marriage anymore anyways.

And heck, I'm not sure if they ever did.

Now, I know the Bible does teach a lot of good things, but that doesn't mean

they're necessarily right. Not all of them.

For instance, pleasure is a good thing.

Pleasure without love?

And you act on your urges?

That's for another discussion.

Okay, this is weird for you, Ken. I'm sorry.

It's only a bad idea.

No, no, no, wait.

I, uh... I'm going to leave you two alone and play talk.

Can I, can I kiss you?

Are you sure this is okay?

That's it for the podcast.

This is so good.

This is deep.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

No, stop.

Let's see.

Amen.

You like that? Yes.

I love you.

All right.

Yeah. Oh, just like that. That's a good boy.

Don't see me like that.