Original subtitles

(music playing)

♪ I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ A dollar is what I need, hey, hey ♪

♪ Well, I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ A dollar is what I need, hey, hey ♪

♪ Said I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ And if I share with you my story ♪

♪ Would you share your dollar with me? ♪

♪ Well, I don’t know ♪

♪ If I’m walking on solid ground ♪

♪ And if I share with you my story ♪

♪ Would you share your dollar with me? ♪

(music continues playing)

-

(traffic ambience)

(writing)

♪ Is treating me cold ♪

♪ Where can my baby be? ♪

♪ Lord, no one knows ♪

♪ Pain in my heart ♪

♪ Just won’t let me sleep ♪

You’re a loser. You gave up after five minutes.

I think I sprained something.

Oh, right.

Are you going to call and wish her a happy birthday?

No, I’m not.

- Ben. - What?

- Be nice. - I am being nice. We’re moving on.

People don’t call their exes when they’re moving on.

That’s counterproductive.

What’s she doing for it, anyway?

Oh just-- it’s-- you know what?

I think it’s a small, intimate dinner.

Super low-key.

- Mm. - No biggie.

Nice.

Her new boyfriend treating everyone?

Darren’s not her boyfriend.

And for your information, he’s not going to be there.

Oh.

So you going to be OK tonight? Yeah?

Yeah, of course.

OK.

I’m a rock.

♪ Birthday sex, birthday sex ♪

Oh, my God! What are you doing?

Oh, sorry, Rach. I didn’t mean to wake you up.

Happy birthday, by the way.

Of course you didn’t.

Is it too early to set this birthday off?

Oh, set it off.

Cheers.

- Mmm. -

Thank you. Uh-oh, here we go.

- Daddy-o.

Hi, Dad.

Aw, thank you.

I got the card.

It was so cute with the singing and the--

I-- OK. Well, you know what?

I’m-- it’s probably better If I call you at the office...

when I get there.

OK, I love you too.

All right, mwah, mwah.

Ta-ta.

- Bye, Dad! - You--

You’re a freak.

Well, you got to get freaky on your birthday.

Really?

I’m totally bummed I’m missing your dinner tonight.

- It sucks. - Oh, my God, don’t even--

don’t-- please don’t,

because birthdays aren’t even important to me.

They’re not. I’m serious.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because they’re important to me.

♪ Birthday sex... ♪

That-- Darren, you’re so...

- My man. - Kaplan on phone: Well!

Look who’s calling me bright and early in the morning.

My ex-friend Ben Epstein.

I didn’t know you creative types got up before lunch.

Only when I’m trying to make a buck.

Yeah, God bless America, baby.

All right, so tonight is the night, Kappo.

We’re going to roll to Avenue. Get ready to go big.

Are you fucking with me?

No, I am not fucking with you.

You want to roll tonight, for reals?

I do.

Aw, shit.

So I take it you’re available?

I’m ready, I’m willing, I’m able.

What time do you want to hook up?

You want to grab a steak first? What are you going to wear?

I’ll call you later. We’ll figure it out. OK?

Hey, yo, Ben.

- Don’t flake on me. - Never.

There she is, the special birthday girl.

Edie, don’t start.

Where are we going tonight?

OK, nowhere. I’m skipping my birthday this year.

No getting older. Much better that way.

Too late. I already made three different reservations

and invited all your friends.

All you have to do is pick a place and show up.

It’s my treat.

- I don’t want to-- - Pick it!

OK, if I had to make a choice,

I would say Mexican.

Odelay! I can’t wait to meet Darren.

Unfortunately for you, he is on a plane to London.

Well, that sucks.

- Yeah, it’s fine. - Uh-oh.

Is there trouble in Hotelier-land?

No, it’s just-- you know, it’s a weird birthday for me.

The last few birthdays I’ve had with Ben,

and then walking from Darren’s apartment this morning,

it kind of hit me.

Birthdays are always tricky, honey.

Reflecting back on where you were a year ago.

Looking ahead to the year to come.

You’re getting closer to the age you’ll be when you die.

Jesus, Edie.

Andre: And you’ve tended bar before, right?

- Of course, Andre. - So you know how to make all the drinks?

No doubt, especially the new ones, like the Thug Passion.

Yeah, but you’re not going to be pouring a lot of those

- at the Find-A-Cure Benefit tonight. - Oh...

You know how to make a Manhattan?

- Yeah. - How?

Pfft! Is he seriously grilling me right now?

No, he’s just doing his background check.

But look, trust me, this kid is "legit-a"

with a capital T.

Look, this company’s awesome. They do all the big events.

They do the Met Ball, a ton of Fashion Week parties.

With the shift pay plus tips, it’s a nice chunk of change.

So you can’t fuck this up for me.

- Never, bro. Never. - All right.

You need to shave. And you need a black tie.

- Right. - Black tie? Not a problem.

I wanted to work this one myself,

but we booked a gig in Philly, so--

Oh, man, I love Philly, man. Cool city.

I’m from Philly. It’s miserable.

Anyway, and this is very important.

You have to sign in under my name.

Andre Vipolis.

- Vipo-- - Vipolis.

- Vipolis. - Yes.

It’s 500 cash at the end of the night.

So you got to make sure you bring me my $50

right here tomorrow.

Done deal, my dude.

Bourbon, sweet vermouth and bitters.

That’s a Manhattan!

So, what we can do is we can put up

these sliding room dividers.

They keep in the light. They’re adjustable by hand.

Well, I just want to give them a sense of privacy.

Anything to separate them. They’re at that age where they need it.

Does your big brother keep you up at night

talking to all his girlfriends?

Are you kidding?

This kid masturbates like a maniac.

Our mom had to cancel our internet--

Sam, that is inappropriate! Boys, stop it!

- I’m sorry. I’m really-- -

- Boys, cut it out! - Oh, my God.

I’m just going to take this.

Edie: Stop that. Stop it!

Hello?

Hey. Happy--

- How are you-- oh. - Happy--

- Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Am I violating some sort of moving-on code?

No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah.

Good birthday so far?

Yeah. Nothing too crazy.

You know, just-- what about you?

Are you at work, or...?

Yeah, calling you from my corner office.

Right.

God, I can’t believe it’s my birthday again.

Just like that. Another year down, huh?

I know, another year.

So, Ben, what are you--?

Do you have plans-- do you have plans tonight?

Sort of.

Oh, OK.

Because I was just going to say

I’m having a little dinner party thing

if you want to stop by.

Oh. OK.

Yeah, I mean, there’s no pressure, obviously.

It’s just-- it would be nice to see you on my birthday.

You know what? That-- that would be nice.

- I’ll definitely stop by.

Ben, can you-- can you hold on just a minute?

- Sure. - OK, thanks.

Hi.

- Hey. - Aren’t you supposed to be

halfway across the Atlantic right now?

My flight has been delayed.

They’re saying five hours at least.

Oh.

OK. Um...

That sucks.

I think I might be better off just hopping

the first flight out tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Which means...

I can make dinner tonight after all.

Great. Um...

Darren, I’m-- I’m at work right now.

Let me-- let me call you back in a second, OK?

- Yeah. Sure thing. - OK.

- Rachel: Ben. - Hey.

So, sorry, what were you saying?

Nothing, I was just saying I’ll try to stop by.

Right. Um...

Where’s it at?

It’s at 10:00 at La Esquina.

And just so you know, Darren’s going to be there.

So if that’s going to be too weird...

What? No, that’s--

Rach, that’s totally cool.

Cool. Great.

I will see you later.

- OK. - Yeah. Bye.

Fuck.

I’m so fucked.

I just went from having no guys

at my birthday to having two.

Edie: How?

Darren’s flight got delayed 30 seconds after I invited Ben.

- Fun! - Nightmare.

Having to deal with this is exactly

what I did not want for my birthday.

Honey, it’s going to be fine.

I’m going to get you so high before dinner,

you’re not going to be able to tell them apart.

Cam: Excuse me, young man.

Can you tell me if you carry Crisp NYC,

the hottest denim brand on the planet?

Really? Both of you now?

I came solo. I found Domingo in the women’s undergarments.

- Ben: Not surprising.

Your boy is lying. He actually needs a black tie.

He’s got a formal engagement tonight.

Tonight? You didn’t get my text?

We’re taking Kaplan to Ave tonight.

I can’t. I just booked a next-level bartending gig.

Five hundred dollars cash off the books plus tips.

- KWAM. - Five hundred bucks?

And trust me when I tell you I need it right now.

What about you, Do’? Can you roll?

No go. I got dinner uptown with my auntie.

Her turkey meatloaf is the bee’s knees.

Turkey meatloaf. I get it.

- I get it, man. - Cam: You OK?

Yeah. I’m good. Hey, listen, I got to refold that.

- Sorry. I’m a bad friend. - What’s wrong with you?

Nothing. I just thought it’d be fun,

us rolling out tonight, that’s all.

Wow. Is Ben suggesting we actually go out?

Whatever, man. I’ll just call Kap.

I’ll reschedule. It’s no big deal.

So can you hook it up

with a black tie or what?

I’ll bring it back tomorrow with the tag still on.

- Follow me. - My man.

Coming through in the clutch.

Hey, yo, what’s your discount like on a tuxedo?

I got this whole, like, black Bond thing I’m working on.

Hey, Dave.

Benny Netanyahu.

What is going on, dude?

We on for dinner pre-Ave?

Yeah, listen, I was thinking about tonight.

I’ve been thinking about tonight all day, bro.

You’re not flaking on me, are you?

Hell no.

Good. Where you want to meet up?

Yeah. Yeah, let’s keep it easy.

We’ll just say in front of Avenue at 11:00, all right?

What could be better than this right now?

You know what I’m saying? Like café con leche in hand,

money in my pocket.

Life is good, my friend.

No doubt, man.

Once I start getting busy, working crazy mogul hours...

Mm-hmm.

I’m going to miss these times with you, man.

Well, you’ve had a good run there, boss.

Sorry I’m late.

- Yo. - Oh, I just met

with the most incredible performance artist.

I think I want to produce her next show.

OK, so she works with rotting food.

- Leftover rotting food. - What?

Your latte’s probably cold.

Whatever. Did you do some shopping, Cam?

Bought myself a free tie. Check it out.

Did you see Ben up there?

Ben hooked it up.

How did he seem?

Like Ben.

Half stressed, half homey.

- Why? - I think he’s having

a hard time with Rachel’s birthday today.

Today’s Rachel’s birthday?

Yeah, she’s having this small dinner tonight

and he seemed kind of funky about it this morning.

Her birthday dinner’s tonight?

Oh, shit.

You know how to make a screwdriver?

Hell, yeah. Vodka and orange juice.

And you know how to make a Manhattan, right?

Yeah, it’s, um...

How do you call it?

- Just ask the guy next to you. - Yeah, I could do that.

Make sure when you get there, you sign in as Andre Vipolis.

V-I-P-O-L-I-S.

And it’s $500,

so it’s 400 for you and 100 for me.

- Cool? - Cool.

Oh, and another $25 for the black tie rental.

- Word up. - And the bag.

- OK. - Cool, man.

- Dom. - Peace out, man.

Leon: Yeah, peace.

Yo, Ben. It’s me.

Yo, call me when you get this, man.

The job fell through, so I’m good to go for tonight.

Let’s go to Avenue, baby, all right?

- Peace. - Peace.

♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ So I know you want to ride out ♪

♪ Even if we only go to my house ♪

♪ Sip mo-eezy as we sit upon my couch ♪

♪ Feels good, but I know you want to cry out ♪

♪ You say you want passion ♪

♪ I think you found it ♪

♪ Get ready for action ♪

♪ Don’t be astounded ♪

♪ We switching positions ♪

♪ You feel surrounded ♪

♪ Tell me where you want your gift, girl ♪

♪ Girl, you know I ♪

♪ Girl, you know I ♪

♪ I’ve been fiending ♪

♪ Wake up in the late night dreaming about your loving ♪

♪ Girl, you know I ♪

♪ Girl, you know I ♪

♪ Don’t need candles and cake ♪

♪ Just need your body to make ♪

♪ Birthday sex, birthday sex ♪

Rachel: So are you excited to meet my girls?

- Yeah, yeah, I am. I think so. - Yeah.

You got any tips for me?

Edie is her own brand of crazy, but she’s--

she’s an amazing woman, truly.

And she’s so excited to meet you.

- Oh, that’s nice. - Yeah.

Who else is going to be there?

Um...

Actually, I wanted to let you know

that Ben wanted to stop by.

Oh. OK.

Is he actually going to come inside the restaurant,

or is he just going to scream from under the window?

- Stop. - Sorry.

- That’s bad. - No, I’m sorry. OK.

It’s fine with me. Of course. It’s cool.

Darren, Darren, Darren, you are--

it’s like nothing fazes you.

Snakes. Snakes.

Cam: Yes, man, we’re already here.

All right, all right. Hurry up then. Peace.

Do’s on his way.

Good.

I’m definitely ready for a drink or 12.

What’s up with you?

Nothing.

Did I tell you it’s Rachel’s birthday today?

Nah.

Damn, she’s aging fast.

Yeah.

She invited me to her dinner tonight.

Really?

And you didn’t want to go?

Well, I would’ve,

but her new dude’s going to be there,

and I’m not about to look desperate

in front of the entire party, you know?

So you turned her down. Look at you.

Well, no, not exactly,

because then I would look premeditated and insecure,

so my only option is just to flake completely

and then make up a story tomorrow.

- Like what? - Stomach flu.

That’s going around.

Yeah.

Yo, is that Kappo right there?

Ben and Cam: Yo!

- There they are.

What’s up, my boys?

How am I looking?

- Ben: Oh, you are looking... - You like that?

- Yeah. - It’s good, yo.

- I’m looking all right? - Yeah. Yeah, man.

You’re very "Nylon Guys."

- For real? That’s good, right? - Ben: Yeah. It’s great.

- Come on. - All right, let’s do it!

Cam: Excuse me, can I get in here?

- Dez, what’s good? - Ben: What’s up, man?

I didn’t see you at ball this week.

- Been busy, man. - Ben: Yeah.

- What’s up, dude? - Dez: Hold up, wait a minute.

- Dude’s with you? - Yeah, he’s good.

- He’s Ben’s homey. - Yeah, he’s with us.

You know I always got you guys,

but it’s not gonna happen for your man tonight.

- He’s a no-go. - What?

- Cam: Wait, yo, Dez. - Ben: Really, Dez? Come on.

- He’s a cool-- - Not going to happen for him.

He’s a cool dude once you get to know him.

- Look at that face, man. - Come on, man.

It’s not going to happen tonight. Too many dudes.

Man: Yo.

Really? Wow.

Ben-- hey, Ben--

- I’m so sorry. - You promised me

that this was not going to happen.

I can’t believe you’re going to fucking do this to me, man.

Wow. You’re fucking with me?

That’s really, really hilarious.

- A little bit. - You’re both assholes. Come on, let me in, man.

Ben: You look like you were about to cry.

Kaplan: I wasn’t going to cry, but I’m going in!

This is it?

This sucks.

It’s still early, David. Relax.

Oh. I like that. Mmm.

Man, watch this, watch this.

Hi! Hi! I’m sorry. Excuse me, excuse me.

I was-- I was just wondering, what--

what’s your favorite charity?

- Charity? - Yeah.

I know you models like all that charity stuff.

And I just thought maybe you could recommend one

I could give some money to.

It’s just, I got too much for one guy.

My favorite charity is losers from Wall Street

who think that anyone still cares about their money.

Kaplan: Oh! Now, was that nice?

Excuse me. Is that nice?

-

You know who he reminds me of?

That guy Jake from "Sixteen Candles."

Right?

- Really? - Yeah.

You don’t think so?

They’re like twins.

You know-- you know the one I’m talking about.

Jockey but sweet, you know?

- Yeah, I-- I see it. - Mm-hmm.

Guys, guys. To Kappo.

- Uh-oh. - One of many nights.

For real. Many nights, boys. Many nights.

- Cheers. - Thank you.

- Back to back. Watch this. - Salud.

Ah!

I’m lapping you ladies. Step your game up.

- Yo! - Yo, pace yourself, Kappo.

Yeah, this is me taking it slow.

- Kappo, what you got? - Do it. Do it.

- Boom! I love it! - Yo, what are you guys doing?

What are we doing? Sharing a drink called loneliness.

- Right, Ben? - I’m here for you, Dave.

That’s stupid. I’m already tipsy. You tipsy?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Right there.

That’s a fake Gwyneth Paltrow, but I like it.

- I’m gonna slip her a roofie. - Yo, are you fucking serious?

What? No!

No, I am not.

I am not serious.

Damn, guys. What you think of me?

It’s breath mints.

Relax. Take a breath.

- Cam: Let me get one. - Yeah, you need one.

Don’t take advantage of me now.

- It’s hard, man, it’s hard-- - I know who you are.

I know who you are. Yo, innkeeper!

Another round of drinks for my boys right here.

No. Oh, my God.

Does everybody have wine left?

I have beer.

Because I just want to say a few words about the birthday girl.

All: Aww.

When Rachel walked into my office three years ago

looking for a job, I remember thinking,

"Who is this gorgeous hippie

not wearing a bra to an interview?"

Don’t worry, they looked very nice.

Oh, thank you. Great. Come on.

But seriously, honestly, in the three years since then,

we’ve grown very close.

Now I like to tease her that I am the president

of the Rachel Chapman Fan Club.

I love you, Edie.

So I thought, as president,

it might be nice to hear from a new member of the club.

Darren.

Take it away.

Darren, you don’t have to--

- No, I--

You’re putting me on the spot, Edie.

- Let’s see what you got, Darren. - Um, OK.

All right, well, I guess there is one thing I could share.

You know, it’s more of a confession, actually.

See, I’m not here tonight because my flight was delayed.

I’m here tonight because I switched it

in order to be here with you on your birthday.

All: Aww!

Even though I know you hate birthdays

and it’s not a big deal to you,

but I just thought it would be nice

if we could be together on it.

Oh, my God.

Put a ring on it!

- Man: Hear, hear!

OK, I’m fucking with you. Actually, my flight was delayed.

- Man: Come on! - What?

- Darren: Well, I’m sorry.

All right, look, look. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Things happen for a reason,

and I’m glad that they do.

So here’s to things happening for a reason.

All: Aww.

Woman: Cheers.

♪ Niggas is all the same ♪

♪ Brooklyn niggas get crazy loot ♪

♪ That’s because when it’s beef ♪

♪ They ain’t scared to shoot ♪

♪ Harlem niggas know how to play ♪

I got to say, Kaplan kind of rules.

Your man is hilarious!

Kappo!

♪ If it wasn’t for the Bronx ♪

♪ This rap shit probably never would be going on ♪

♪ So tell me where you from ♪

♪ Uptown, baby, uptown, baby ♪

♪ We gets down, baby ♪

♪ Up for the crown, baby ♪

Hey.

Look, if you ask nicely, I might forgive you

for that little comment earlier.

There’s nothing nice about me.

Look, come on, don’t hate me because I’m rich.

I won’t hate you because you’re beautiful.

We could roll together, hmm?

We could be the most hated couple up in here.

Hmm?

- You’re funny. - Oh.

Oh, see that? See?

You’re warming up to me a little bit, right?

♪ Two-quarters of my life walking roads type narrow ♪

♪ Deep thoughts which I abide by ♪

♪ Puffing high’s got my mind’s eye ♪

♪ Points sharper than an arrow getting high ♪

♪ Keep your eye on the sparrow ♪

Darren!

Sorry. Too late, Edie. You snooze, you lose.

No! I’m supposed to be the sugar mama tonight.

Yeah, well, it looks like I might be making a run

at that Rachel Fan Club Presidency, so--

Ooh! Look at the hotelier going for it.

I’m trying, Edie. I’m trying. Thanks.

Aww.

Darren, thank you so much. That was...

- Sure. - ...that was really, really sweet of you to do.

I’m happy you were here.

Me too.

(door chime dings)

Coffee here.

Pack of Wrigley’s.

You know what? Let me get this bag of Cheez Doodles.

- So nice to meet you. - Happy birthday, baby.

- I love you. All right, I’ll talk to you later. - Thank you.

- Thank you. - Bye, Edie.

Bye.

- She’s great. - I know.

- Yeah, she’s totally great. - She is great.

Hey, so sorry I’m late.

Darren.

- Hey, Ben. - Good to see you again.

Well, I guess I’ll just give you two a minute.

Ben: Thanks.

Didn’t want to show up empty-handed.

That is amazing.

So how was dinner?

You know, lots-- lots of garlic.

Garlic?

Wouldn’t bring a date there.

Right. I’ll try to remember that.

I just-- I don’t know, Rachel.

I just wanted to come and say happy birthday in person.

So...

I’m glad that you did.

- Yeah? - Yes.

Cool.

I should probably let you go.

Yeah.

Happy birthday, Rach.

- Good night, Ben. - Good night.

(car horn honks)

Cam: You better not have chased that car!

I didn’t want to run after you.

How’d you know?

Because I could tell when you left, man.

I didn’t even know where I was going when I left.

Man, I know you better than you know you.

Yeah, maybe you do.

Yo! Who wants to go to Veselka?

It’s going to be blueberry blintzes.

No. Fuck the blintzes. Let’s go back to Avenue.

- Cam: OK! - Ben: Yeah.

Cam: Back it up! Let’s do it, kid!

(music playing)

♪ Trying to hold on... ♪

Ben: Can we not be three dudes

listening to Teddy Pendergrass

in a white Bentley, please?

♪ I think I’d better let it go ♪

♪ Looks like another love T.K.O. ♪

♪ Yes, I think I’d better let it go ♪

- -

♪ Looks like another love T.K.O. ♪

♪ Tried to take control of the love ♪

♪ Because you lose all thoughts ♪

♪ Taking the bumps and the bruises ♪