Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,650 --> 00:00:04,310
As if life isn't difficult enough for
the hard of hearing, sometimes the
2
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subtitles used to assist them will be
completely wrong.
3
00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:11,110
Here's my cooking show, Cooking with
Matt, new episode coming at 80k
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00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:13,370
subscribers. Listen to what I say here.
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00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:15,230
It tastes like hot sugar off a sharp
knife.
6
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,910
That was the name of your first album,
wasn't it?
7
00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:22,570
That was the name of your first album,
wasn't it? A little gag there. But to
8
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:26,130
someone using closed captions, that
becomes, did you guys name your face?
9
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,000
I'm going to make a batter out of the
Jägermeister. Becomes a batter out of
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00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
yoga monster.
11
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:34,800
Becomes music and...
12
00:00:36,179 --> 00:00:37,179
becomes applause.
13
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,140
These mistakes aren't just limited to
YouTube videos of plebs in the kitchen,
14
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,960
either. Subtitles also fuck up on proper
TV.
15
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:48,800
Observe. We might be bad at some things,
but we are so good at killing that
16
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,660
there is supposed to say that we Brits
are good at queuing. Welcome to the year
17
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:55,780
of the whores. It's supposed to be the
Chinese year of the horse.
18
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:59,380
Anita faces a tough decision as she
heads for Cockermouth.
19
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,900
So yeah, you can see how these are going
to go. Something that is great at the
20
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:03,899
moment is crap.
21
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:07,680
And two lovely little boys. Oliver, who
is 11, and Fraser is 10.
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00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,400
Gentlemen, it's been an honour sewing
with you. Doctor Who referred her for an
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00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,560
illegal abortion, she says. Spain,
Kuwait, Switzerland, and the United Arab
24
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:20,800
Terrorists. It was pitch dark, and not
having his pathetic legs on, I would
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00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,940
celebrate buying a bone.
26
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,260
Just a nice bum.
27
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,840
Firefighters to deal with not just the
fire, but the people in the middle of
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00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:27,920
road ejaculating.
29
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,870
Looks beautiful. Beautiful. And a hat
which we think is from burglary. When I
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00:01:31,870 --> 00:01:37,630
feel low. When I feel blue. No way can
this country ever allow Batman to be our
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00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:38,488
Prime Minister.
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00:01:38,490 --> 00:01:39,490
I did my job.
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00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:40,238
With a plum.
34
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,900
We've been showing nude pictures of
party leaders. Today, the Queen and the
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00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:44,980
travelling in this cabbage.
36
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,840
And I think Dildo terrific job preparing
our young men. Biggest criminal
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00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,000
masturbation in history.
38
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,400
Come on kids, behind the table. Find a
place to shit. And be quiet.
39
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:54,740
Yep, I'm thinking of vagina.
40
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,020
Marathon bombing. He is 19 year old.
Zooey Deschanel.
41
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,060
The inevitable ball bags of salad.
42
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,460
Tons of it. Six months to go before
extra time.
43
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:07,160
Conceded after 13 seconds. But went on
to eat their opponents 3 -1. Once again,
44
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,620
diarrhea does well. Football.
45
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,780
He called me melon. If you have a cup of
milkshakes, me.
46
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:38,570
There are a couple of milkshakes who'll
come. My wallet is gone.
47
00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:43,330
Here we go. I realise how good I smell
after being down in there. To stay a
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00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,550
of respect, so I've my boobs done for
today. Girls, don't give up on that sex
49
00:02:46,550 --> 00:02:50,810
offender. We need our brollies out, and
it'll turn windy later in the week. And
50
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:55,070
heavy breasts on the west side of
Scotland, eastwards, bringing some rain
51
00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:56,310
the Nazi ghosts.
52
00:02:56,970 --> 00:03:00,630
And lastly, a special shout -out to the
Swedish political debate, which
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00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:03,870
accidentally ran the subtitles from a
children's TV show.
54
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,630
Greetings, Earth creature.
55
00:03:05,890 --> 00:03:11,490
I will build the best sandcastle in the
galaxy. The latest invention, the
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00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:14,490
fantastic dinosaur train submarine.
4900
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